Adam Chromý's Blog, page 82

Please fire me. Things I wish I could tell my boss:-Etcetera is not pronounced “Et-set-chruh.”...

Please fire me. Things I wish I could tell my boss:

-Etcetera is not pronounced “Et-set-chruh.”

-When writing a professional email, “wondering” is not spelled with an A in place of an O.

-Ice chewing is fucking annoying, second only to audible gulping - both of which you do.

-If you have to ask me questions about things you should know, find a new profession. See also: Before asking a question, look it the fuck up.

-Rolling your eyes back in your head while you talk does not make you look smart. It makes you look like you have epilepsy.

-Stop showing me your feet. Feet are nasty.

-Stop trying to be my friend. You are my boss.

-Read everything thoroughly prior to exclaiming loudly that you don’t understand something. Missing whole paragraphs is not my problem. I will not read them aloud to you.

Please fire me. Even though I work as a waitress in a diner my fish bacon is not on the menu.

Please fire me. Even though I work as a waitress in a diner my fish bacon is not on the menu.

Please fire me. Our receptionist hates answering the phone, when she does, she gives everyone an...

Please fire me. Our receptionist hates answering the phone, when she does, she gives everyone an attitude especially if they don’t know the name of the person they need to speak with. She spends the rest of her day posting selfies on Instagram.

Please fire me. Our department created a Halloween committee and came up with four theme options,...

Please fire me. Our department created a Halloween committee and came up with four theme options, which we voted on. Then the VP decided he thought we should do a theme based on the TV show “Saved by the Bell,” an idea that no one has the least interest in. Now we’re revoting to “reconfirm” our earlier decision.

Please fire me. I’m only productive when you’re not here.

Please fire me. I’m only productive when you’re not here.

Please fire me. I got a call yesterday to explain to my boss how to fix his home wireless printer...

Please fire me. I got a call yesterday to explain to my boss how to fix his home wireless printer problem while I was working and he was at home. I’m a Vet Tech, not an IT person.

Please fire me. My co-workers started saying “Ya know what I mean?” after every other...

Please fire me. My co-workers started saying “Ya know what I mean?” after every other sentence. They also say “…if that makes any sense” after everything they try to explain. I hear these phrases 12 times a day on average.

Please fire me. My manager said that the woman’s sanitary bin must be removed from their...

Please fire me. My manager said that the woman’s sanitary bin must be removed from their toilet because it smelled funny and that the woman must take their unmentionables, wrap them in toilet paper, put it in their handbags and take it home with them. 

Please fire me. My boss compares her two-year-old to Jackson Pollock.

Please fire me. My boss compares her two-year-old to Jackson Pollock.

Please fire me.My bosses circle like buzzards, part of my job Requires me to complete work orders...

Please fire me.

My bosses circle like buzzards, part of my job
Requires me to complete work orders
at a computer…when I sit for 15 minutes
to do this they want to know what I’m
Doing sitting down….I’m one of about 10 employees who actually do their job!