Please fire me. Things I wish I could tell my boss:-Etcetera is not pronounced “Et-set-chruh.”...

Please fire me. Things I wish I could tell my boss:

-Etcetera is not pronounced “Et-set-chruh.”

-When writing a professional email, “wondering” is not spelled with an A in place of an O.

-Ice chewing is fucking annoying, second only to audible gulping - both of which you do.

-If you have to ask me questions about things you should know, find a new profession. See also: Before asking a question, look it the fuck up.

-Rolling your eyes back in your head while you talk does not make you look smart. It makes you look like you have epilepsy.

-Stop showing me your feet. Feet are nasty.

-Stop trying to be my friend. You are my boss.

-Read everything thoroughly prior to exclaiming loudly that you don’t understand something. Missing whole paragraphs is not my problem. I will not read them aloud to you.