Adam Chromý's Blog, page 22

Please fire me. Last year, at a company event near where I lived, I met up with some of the people...

Please fire me. Last year, at a company event near where I lived, I met up with some of the people who worked the event and ended up hooking up with one of them. I was just transferred to a new location and the manager is the guy I slept with. Turns out he’s married. 

Please fire me. I’ve been off work for three weeks due to pregnancy complications. I turned up today...

Please fire me. I’ve been off work for three weeks due to pregnancy complications. I turned up today to hand in my doctor’s notes and everyone asked how the baby was, no one asked how I am. Don’t mind me being pasty and puking and on crutches!

Please fire me. My boss reprimanded me for having a “this is what a feminist’s coffee looks like”...

Please fire me. My boss reprimanded me for having a “this is what a feminist’s coffee looks like” coffee mug because it’s political and divisive and has no place in our inclusive work place. This from the woman who wears a huge cross around her neck and has a fish sticker on her work laptop.

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Please fire me. I am required to say “Good morning,” to every guest who walks within ten feet of me,...

Please fire me. I am required to say “Good morning,” to every guest who walks within ten feet of me, even though I work nights and people rarely wake up in good moods. They usually death glare at me, some tell me fuck off.

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Please fire me. I’m a babysitter and a woman texted me recently to ask if I would watch 8 kids at a...

Please fire me. I’m a babysitter and a woman texted me recently to ask if I would watch 8 kids at a two hour party for only $40. I told her my rates were normally higher because there are a larger number of kids, so she went to go talk to her husband about my price. She comes back a week later and says they can only give me $50 but that instead of just having 8 kids, they’ll now have 16 there…with only four of them over five years old.

Please fire me. I work in retail and we had a customer come in today who wanted to return a handbag...

Please fire me. I work in retail and we had a customer come in today who wanted to return a handbag that she had brought 7 years ago. 

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Please fire me. Today a customer threw his 84 cents in change at me claiming “What…you don’t...

Please fire me. Today a customer threw his 84 cents in change at me claiming “What…you don’t know how to count change?” This was after he told me his name for the order was “Asshole.” Btw his change was correct.

Please fire me. Today I was stocking merchandise on the bottom shelf. A customer who was sitting...

Please fire me. Today I was stocking merchandise on the bottom shelf. A customer who was sitting down says to me, “That’s where I like you, down on your knees!”

Please fire me. A customer said it was “atrocious” that our line was so long. I’m sorry you came to...

Please fire me. A customer said it was “atrocious” that our line was so long. I’m sorry you came to our drive through during the busiest time of the day and that the car in front of you had 5 different drinks. I can’t control the world.

Please fire me. When I agreed to spend two weeks travelling with a “high-power businessman” as his...

Please fire me. When I agreed to spend two weeks travelling with a “high-power businessman” as his “personal interpreter” during “global strategy meetings about environmental issues” (he seems like he should be in advertising), I did not know that would include going to dinners with him and him alone and spending 35 minutes reading and translating his entire menu every single night. Good thing I went to school for 22 years and got my PhD.