Layce Gardner's Blog, page 17

The Worst Book I Ever Read Was Great

I was talking to Saxon last night about reviews. Now, I’m not talking as a writer here, I’m talking as a reader. As a reader, I hate reviews. (as a writer, I try to not read them. My self-esteem is already low enough, thank you very much. One not-so-good review on one of my books is enough to make me vow to quit writing – for a couple of hours.)

I was reminiscing with Saxon about when I was a kid. As a kid I read anything and everything. My mother never cared what I read so I blindly wandered...

I’m On The (bar) Rag!

My muse is a bitch. Her name is Bobbie Jo and she looks like Barbara Eden in Harper Valley PTA. She has the personality of a honey badger. This morning I woke her up from a rum induced hangover to come write with me.

Ten minutes later, she dragged her sorry butt into my office. “What the fuck time is it?” she asked while lighting her first Marlboro of the day.

“Let’s write,” I said. “Earn your keep.”

She chugged down a lukewarm Coors and belched. “Writing is boring. You ever thought about taking...

Fur Real

There’s something weird going on at my house. My daughter has become obsessed with fur people. For those of you who aren’t in the know (I sure wasn’t), fur people are people who dress up in fur costumes. Fur costumes are like those footie pajamas we all know from our childhoods. Except more extreme. They are costumes with bodies, feet, hands and head. And tails. Think Disneyland. Those people who walk around dressed as Mickey, Minnie, Goofy… Or your school mascot. Now imagine a person (usuall...

The F Word: Episode “Rubber Pie”

This blog is about two of my favorite F words: Film and Food. And just for fun I’m combining both of them in the same blog. Saxon and I will discuss a movie while making a new recipe. This is like one-stop shopping – you read a review on a new Indie movie and get a new recipe all at the same time.

Today’s movie is “Rubber” written and directed by Quentin Dupieux and the recipe is for “Mexican Apple Pie.”

I slap eight six-inch flour tortillas on the counter top while Saxon opens a can of apple p...

California, Here I Come!

I was twenty five years-old when I packed up my VW van and headed to Hollywood to make my name and fortune. I had just graduated college and thought the world was my oyster. I didn’t like oysters, but still thought the cliché quite fitting. The back of my van was crammed with everything that my girlfriend and I owned. Clothes, cassette tapes, a bed and a sofa. Our dishes were sparse, but we were young and ate the soup right out of the pan. What did we care about bowls? We were going to be fam...

TV or not TV?

I don’t have TV in my house. Quite frankly, I was addicted to it and so was my daughter. So we went cold turkey two years ago. And just like most addictions that you give up, I look back on it with some nostalgia.

Some of my fondest memories of when I was little kid revolve around the TV. I still get the warm fuzzies when I think of some of the shows I used to enjoy. My favorite show was I Love Lucy. I’m not alone in thinking this is the best show of all time, ever. (Here’s some trivia for you...

Valentine’s Day and Calamity Jane

What better way to celebrate truelove than to read a book about it?

A Novella by Layce Gardner

A Lesbian Romantic Comedy

Welcome to the Wild West – where gunfighters die and legends are born.A rip-roaring tale of gunslingers, saloons and the desires of women. This is not your mother’s Wild West!

Available at Bella Books

Midweek business at The Globe saloon in Deadwood, Dakota Territory, is just the way owner/operator Charlie Engleman likes it: slow. When local cowpoke Pe...

Fifty Shades of Gray Matter, or, a writer’s brain

I recently celebrated a very important anniversary. I have now worked as a professional writer for twenty years! I’ve been a writer my whole life, but I have earned my living as a writer (meaning getting paid for writing) for twenty years now. Some years have been feast and others have been famine, (I was smart enough to doggie-bag the fat years to get me through the lean years), but I have been paid to put my stories on paper (or computer screen) for two decades now.

Several times new writers...

Penny Nickels

I just published my newest short story! This story is available only at Amazon as a kindle single and it’s published under the genres “Contemporary Women’s Fiction” and “Short Stories.” And the best part is that it’s only 99 cents!

When Penny Nickels, haggard wife and mother of three living in Flotsam, Texas, walks into The Eclectic Hair Beauty Salon, she gets more than a new hair-do.

Layce Gardner, Golden Crown Literary Society Award winner, author of Tats, Tats Too: The Case of the Devil’s Di...

The Day I Tried Out for Cheerleader

My short story has just been published. It’s available as a single ebook at Bella Books. And the best part is that it’s only $1.99. That means it costs 1/1000th of a penny a word!

Warning: Has a spew factor of 11 out of 10.

Side effects:May cause loosening of the bladder. May also cause you to clap your hands and bark like a seal.

The Day I Tried Out for Cheerleader

Available at Bella Books

Life’s tough for eleven-year-old Alice in Divinity, Oklahoma. She’s overweight, a...