Layce Gardner's Blog, page 2

Movies That Changed My Life

We can start with the iconic movie Jaws. The hype was huge that summer. I was 14 when I stood in a line that wrapped around the block just to get a ticket. Halfway through the movie, I ran to the ladies’ room and vomited. Then I went back to my seat, cowered, and watched the whole thing peeking between my fingers. I haven’t put a foot in the ocean since.

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I also don’t swim in a lake or a river for the same reason. You never know… a shark might swim up into the Gulf of Mexico, into the Mississ...

Reasons Trump Won

I’ve spent a lot of time since Nov. 8th depressed. I have tried to figure out why a moron would be elected our president. I have read several books on the subject, watched all of Robert Reich’s videos, and talked to people who voted for him. Here are the reasons (not in any order) that I believe we now have an idiot as our Commander in Chief:

1) Many Republicans vote for their party regardless. They do it because their mammy and pappy did it. They’re too lazy to think, so they always vote Rep...

Kathy Griffin’s Head on a Platter

I’m going to say it right up front. The photo with Kathy Griffin holding up a fake decapitated head of Trump did not offend me. I will admit that I can totally see how it would offend somebody else. Somebody who, say, hasn’t seen all the blood and gore on TV lately, or seen a movie in the past twenty years, or is blind and hasn’t seen any print media since the 50s.

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I don’t think KG should have apologized. She’s an artist. She had a right to to put out there whatever message she wanted even i...

Why Lesfic?

The single most asked question I get as a writer is “Why don’t you write mainstream fiction?” In other words, why don’t I write about straight people?  Let me begin by saying that most of the askers have good intentions. They are under the impression that mainstream fiction is somehow better than lesbian fiction. They think I would make more money, or that I would gain more recognition writing mainstream. Both of those assumptions are false.

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The reason I write lesfic is because I am a lesbia...

On Being Anonymous

When I was in the fifth grade I was in love with my math teacher. She was young, vibrant, wore a mini-skirt and sat on top of her desk. I sat on the front row and gazed up at her every day. I was completely head over heels. One day she put a box on her desk and told the class that it was a suggestion box. That we should drop notes in it on how to make her a better teacher, or how to make the class more engaging, or even tell her problems we’re having in her class. She promised to address each...

The Underground

Saxon and I went on another excellent adventure. This time we went to Fayetteville, Arkansas. It’s only an hour drive from where we live. Arkansas, home of the Ozark Mountains, is absolutely gorgeous. And here’s some FYI: The Clintons used to live in Fayetteville before he became Governor of Arkansas. They taught law at the University of Arkansas. UofA is one of the reasons Fayetteville has such a youthful, hippie, artsie vibe.

Saxon and I went to Fayetteville to check out one of our favorite...

Save Big Dollars On Your Favorite Books

I read an article the other day about how lesbians make a lot less money than straight women. We don’t read less, though. In fact, I would venture to say that we read more. Because most of us don’t have children to keep us from reading! (After my daughter was born, I didn’t read or write for almost ten years. I simply didn’t have the time.)

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So, we make less money yet we read more. That means books cost us more than the average woman. Knowing this, you can imagine how happy I was to find a so...

Who Is Big Brother?

Remember in George Orwell’s 1984 how Big Brother watched and listened to everyone through their mandatory TV sets? There were cameras and audio recording devices set up everywhere poor Winston went. He hid in a cubbyhole to write in his journal. In order to make love to his girlfriend, they had to take a train out to the boondocks, walk around for a long time, then hide behind bushes to get the deed done.

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Orwell was prophetic in his imagination. There have been news articles written lately a...

Excellent Adventure

Saxon and I went on an excellent adventure. That’s my name for driving and not knowing where you’re going to end up. When I was a teenager I would go on excellent adventures by driving my car as far as I could until I ran out of gas and then seeing what happened next. What usually happened next was I walked to a house, borrowed a phone, and called a friend to bring gas. My excellent adventures are a bit more grown up now. This time Saxon and I ended up back in my little home town at the place...

Down Time

One of the top questions readers ask me is: “Where do your ideas come from?” I usually answer, “They come from the shower.”

It’s true. My best ideas always happen in the shower. And they always seem to strike just as I’m fully lathered. I try to remember these ideas, but after losing about several dozen before I could write them down,  I broke down and bought a water-proof pen and pad. It hangs on the back wall of the shower. Now  I can jot down the ideas without getting out of the shower.

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I...