Layce Gardner's Blog, page 16

My Mother Is a Plarn Star

If you’ve kept up with my Facebook posts, you already know that I have picked up my old hobby of crocheting. Crocheting always seemed to me like something mothers and old ladies did. But, let’s face it, I am both am both a mother and an old lady so I might as well also be a crocheter, too.

Here are a few of things I have crocheted in the past month:

Recently, I have combined two of my interests – upcycling and crocheting. I make plastic yarn, “Plarn”, out of used Walmart bags. I then use the pl...

Goodbye, Eileen

I just found out that Eileen Brennan died today. I cried. I hadn’t seen Eileen in fifteen years, but I still cried. There was a time when I spent hours sitting around a kitchen table with Eileen and her three Pugs. She was a feisty woman. She had a raspy, no-nonsense way of saying things. She could stare you down, her eyes pinning you to a wall. You pretty much knew better than to ever fuck with her. But, she also gave some of the best hugs in the world, and she was always the last to let go....

What Fifty Means to Me (a ramble-logue)

Remember that SNL character Sally O’Malley? “I’m Fifty years-old and I can kick!” Well, I’m fifty-one and I’m ready to do some kickin’, too!

“Why don’t you like me?” I actually heard a girl say that to another girl in the Walmart checkout line. The other girl replied, “Um… because, like, you’re an asshole.” I laughed, yep, I sure did. Then I thought about it a while and came to realize that I don’t like assholes either and I’m tired of pretending to like them. Why have I wasted so much of my p...

Longest and Bestest Review Ever

I’m reposting a review that my book “A Perfect Romance” got over at Guerillabookworm. It is beginning to look like I wrote another book that is going to stir up things. So when somebody actually sees through the fluffy parts (And there’s nothing wrong with laughing at all the fluffy parts!) I need to preserve it on my blog. So, here’s what The Worm (as in ‘bookworm’) thought of my book:

A Perfect Romance prompts longest review ever
By cmixgeek

Do you remember the scene in Good Will Hunting wher...

We All Scream for Ice Cream

You ever had one of those evenings when you’re in line at Braums and the girl serving people waits on everybody but you (skipping over you in line THREE times) and then an old lady cuts in front of you and orders a banana split which takes forty three minutes and seventeen seconds for the girl to make and you are about to scream or pop a blood vessel or both? Well, that happened to me and Saxon last night.

We had stood in line for twenty seven minutes and all we wanted was one friggin’ frozen...

Book Reviews, Marketing, and The Worm

You know what I hate more than anything? Marketing. More specifically, I hate trying to sell my books. I know all authors have to do it, but there’s something about hawking my wares that makes me feel like an over-age,skanky hooker working the street and nobody wants to ‘date’ her. I don’t know if other authors feel that way, maybe it’s just me… I love to create, I love to write, but I hate selling it.

There’s only one thing I hate more. When nobody buys what I’m selling. Ouch!

So the one thing...

Birthday Blog

I recently celebrated my birthday. I’m not going to tell you exactly when I was born, but I will tell you that it was a much more dangerous time than it is now. In fact, it’s a wonder I lived through my childhood.

You youngsters reading this are probably scoffing. Dangerous? What could be more dangerous than what we have to deal with today? Well, let me give you a partial list of the things I survived:

When I was a child, seat belts in cars were purely decorative. I was allowed to stand on the...

FREE BOOK!

Yep, you heard right. I want to give away my newest book “A Perfect Romance.” All you have to do is enter this contest. How do you enter? I’m glad you asked. Look at the cover of my book below. Then come up with a tagline for the book. You know what a tagline is, right? Think of all the movie posters you’ve ever seen. You know that catchy phrase that describes what the movie is about? That’s the tag line.

Here’s some famous taglines. See if you can guess which movie they are from. (scroll belo...

The V Word

There’s been a lot of brouhaha lately among Lesfic writers about lesbian themed erotica/porn invading the Amazon top 100 bestseller list in the category of lesbian fiction.

(Just so you know what brouhaha is – it’s a little more than a whoop-tee-do and a little less than a ballyhoo. It’s a hubbub but with more anger.)

Anyway, it seems that Lesfic writers don’t like their work being lumped into the same category as erotica or porn. I can totally understand that. It might make me surly if “The De...

Saxon’s Rules of Radio Etiquette

Tonight (April 16th) Saxon and I will be appearing on The Cocktail Hour radio show with hosts Andy and The Rev! I’m very excited about this opportunity, but also am a little scared. You see, Saxon is… how do I say this?… You know those little mechanisms in your brain that filter what you think and what actually comes out of your mouth? Saxon doesn’t have one. She is a self-proclaimed S.U.P. (Socially Unacceptable Person)

So, I decided to employ a technique that worked wonders with my daughter...