K.D. Sarge's Blog, page 17

Rough Week

I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve spent the last three days watching superhero movies and avoiding the internet.

Here’s what I’m doing–
Join the ACLU
Support Planned Parenthood
Write to my electors
Support voting reform

Right. So. I can’t go any further with that right now. I have to protect myself or I won’t be able to do anything at all.

So! Puppies?

I’m going to NaNo any day now. My plan is to rewrite (literally) an old book, so I expect I’ll still be able to win if I just devote the ti...

Stringing Words Together

It’s been hard, lately, to string words together. It occurred to me tonight that I couldn’t even remember the last time I put up a post.

Once upon a time, I posted every day.

Anyway. I’m working on coming back. I’m hoping to do NaNo.

I’m not dead.

One Week Later

A week ago yesterday I went to the doctor. In the last week, things have changed.

Incidences of fighting tears at work have dropped to pretty much nil. Panicked scurrying has decreased as well, along with the inevitable mistakes made while scurrying, which resulted in more panic and more scurrying. Feelings of impending doom have mostly decided to go play in someone else’s yard. (Sorry, someone else.) The doom still tries to come back sometimes, but I’m able to breathe and remind myself it’s...

Not a Hypocrite

Sometime around 25 years ago, I was visiting a friend. It was late autumn, and I’d gone to hang out in her hot tub. We were coming back to her apartment, dripping wet but still defended from the cold by our jacuzzi-heated bodies. I suddenly had the feeling someone–something–very dangerous was following us.

I didn’t say anything about it. We got into her apartment without incident. I got home without incident. I tried to go to bed, but I felt completely unsafe though I’d lived there for years...

Good Intentions

You know what they say about good intentions…

I’ve been having a helluva time getting any writing work done lately. I’ve tried anything and everything to do better–work at McDonald’s, go to Panera, favorite hangout of the NaNo crowd, word wars, shutting off the internet, lock myself in my room and snarl viciously at anyone who dares interrupt…but on top of my inner issues, STUFF keeps coming at me from outside. STUFF that must be dealt with. NOW. Or else bad things. Seriously, man. Bad. Thing...

Insert Clever Title Here

Is it perfectionism paralyzing me?I don’t usually think of myself as a perfectionist, but maybe that’s the problem I’m having. Maybe I’m fighting a (mild, but serious for me) bout of depression. Maybe procrastination is actually a disease, and I’ve got it. Whatever, but I’ve been meaning to write a blog post for a while. I’ve been meaning to do a lot of things.

One thing making accomplishment hard for me is that it’s hot in my room. I have to keep the door closed because it’s the only thing t...

Fate

So back in the spring semester,remember me talking about my yoga class? Looking back I see I didn’t say much about it here, but trust me. There was a yoga class. I loved it. My teacher was awesome, and in something like twenty sessionsgot me doing stuff I wouldn’t have believed I could do in five years. I mean, inversions. (Don’t tell–she’s not supposed to teach them in that class. But as she said, technically downward dog is an inversion, and how are you going to teach yoga without downward...

Bea’s Got a Fish!

I’m writing, I’m writing! And dealing with car issues, and it’s way too bloody hot, and did I mention the car issues involve the AC? But anyway. I’m writing, don’t hit me!

Last week in desperation I bought a new writing book. I have a lot of writing books, and I value all of them (or I pass them on, so those I don’t have), but I’m always convinced that the next writing book is going to solve all my problems.

This one may actually have done so. (Okay, not all of them. Did I mention the car’s A...

What’s Not Nice?

Truth in advertising–there are no unripe or squishy strawberries in this ad.

My grocery store has strawberries on sale. 97 cents for a pint container! I pick one or two up every time I go in there. Today on my way between friend’s house where I was killing some malware and the grocery store, I was listening to You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. Jen (I call her Jen. I feel like we’re buds.) was talking about how when we don’t love ourselves (see yesterday’s rant) we settle for less than we deser...

Inner Children Need Love!

I have friends who are really hard on themselves. I hear the things they say about themselves, and I know the things they say TO themselves are probably even worse, and it makes me sad.

Where does it come from, this idea that beating ourselves up is what we deserve? We have, thankfully, moved away from treating kids like that. You’d never talk to your friend like that. Why do people think they should talk to themselves like that?

I had one friend tell me that being nice to herself would be le...