Joshua Becker's Blog, page 68

7 Blog Posts Every Wannabe Minimalist Should Read

Over the past decade, I have read countless (probably in the tens of thousands) blog posts, articles, and books on the topic of minimalism.

I tweet them, share them, and link to my favorites almost every day.

But over the years, I have found there are 7 blog posts/articles I return to over and over again. I have recommended each of these blog posts too many times to count.

There is no “required reading” for minimalism… I encourage you to make it unique to your passions, goals, and family. But if I had to create a list of “recommended reading” for anyone who desires to pursue a minimalist lifestyle, these would be the articles on my list.

7 Blog Posts Every Wannabe Minimalist Should Read

1. A Guide to Creating a Minimalist Home on Zen Habits.

Leo offers 16 steps to creating a minimalist home—enough for anybody to get started on the process. In my opinion, it is the greatest blog post ever written on the subject.

2. The Story of Stuff.

Annie Leonard’s 20-minute video was first produced in 2005. But if you want to better understand how society has manipulated us to overconsume, there is no place better to start. It will forever change how you see shopping and consumer goods.

3. Declutter Your Fantasy Self by Miss Minimalist.

One of the most important realizations we need to make on our journey towards minimalism is the understanding of how our excess possessions distract us from living our best lives. Or, in the case of this important blog post, how possessions keep us from discovering our real selves.

4. Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids on Becoming Minimalist.

Minimalism with kids is not easy, but it is possible. And not only is it possible, it is important. Our kids learn from our example every single day. Additionally, there are life-long benefits to helping kids embrace the lifestyle of minimalism. This article serves to inspire parents to consider the benefits of owning less.

5. Project 333 on Be More With Less.

Project 333 is a minimalist fashion challenge that invites people to dress with 33 items or less for 3 months. One of the greatest benefits of the experiment is how it begins to challenge our assumptions about how much stuff we need. The challenge focuses on clothing, but the principles can be applied in countless other areas of life.

6. A No-Frills Kitchen Still Cooks on The New York Times.

Minimalism can be difficult to apply in functional spaces—the home office, the tool shed, the kitchen. We often fall into the trap of thinking that everything we own is needed to accomplish a purpose. But in this highly practical article, Mark Bittman lists exactly what is needed for your kitchen to function… and what is not.

7. 101 Physical Things That Can Be Reduced In Your Home on Becoming Minimalist.

Many people will miss the joys of minimalism because they are afraid to begin. They fear if they remove an item from their home, they will regret it in the future if they need it. This rarely happens. But if that fear describes you, begin the process of embracing a more minimalist home by simply reducing some of the duplicate items in your home. Here’s a list of 101.

Want a Dreamier Bedroom? Clear the Clutter

Take a look around. The room you are sitting in right now has a vibe—an intangible something about its condition and arrangement that creates a feeling in you. What is it? What is the vibe of the room you are sitting in right now?

What feeling does it create?

This is an important, often overlooked principle—but it is true about every physical space in our lives. If you close your eyes and place yourself inside your home’s most cluttered room, you can almost feel the weight of the clutter as it produces stress and anxiety on your shoulders. This is a truth that should not be overlooked any longer.

It is important to be aware of how a space makes you feel because every room in your home has a purpose—and the vibe or feeling of a room should match that purpose. This is a principle that applies to every room in your home… but is especially apparent when it comes to your bedroom.

Imagine your dream-come-true bedroom. What three words would you use to describe how it makes you feel?

Now, would you use those same words to describe your current bedroom?

If not, chances are that the problem has less to do with what you don’t have, and more to do with what you do have—and need to get rid of. If you want your bedroom to give you those dream-come-true feels, I have a word for you: minimalism.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of our greatest values and the removal of anything that distracts us from them. It is about reducing the number of your possessions until you get to the best possible level for you and your family. It’s not about owning less than you need… it’s about owning exactly what you need.

Minimalism is individual, freeing, and life promoting.

So don’t worry. Minimalism in your bedroom does not mean sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor. It means you reduce distractions so you can optimize purpose.

Clarify Purpose

To begin, think about the unique purpose for your bedroom. The master bedroom is probably mostly for rest and intimacy with your spouse, though you may also use it for such things as reading or study. If you have kids, they, too, need calming rooms to go back to for downtime, play, to do homework, and to sleep at night. Similarly, if you have a guest room, this is a place you can offer your overnight guests to relax in private and get a good night’s sleep while they’re away from home.

As you focus your attention on minimizing your bedroom, look at your possessions and ask of every item, Do we need this? Does it help the room accomplish its purpose? Does it contribute to the type of atmosphere necessary for those goals?

Clarifying the purpose of your bedroom doesn’t automatically remove the clutter, but it does provide an essential framework for your decision-making process.

For example, in the master bedroom, does the television on your dresser promote rest or intimacy, or does it detract from these goals? Is the pile of magazines or books in the corner helpful to you? Does that cluttered nightstand or dresser bring you calm and relaxation? When the answer to any of those questions is no, the item should go.

How to Minimize Your Bedroom

As you attack your bedroom’s clutter, be thoughtful, be methodical, and be confident you’ll get it done. Then use these steps to give your bedroom the makeover (and vibe) it deserves.

1. Relocate things that don’t belong.

Are there items in your bedroom that belong elsewhere? A pile of paperwork, books, old computer equipment, empty boxes, arts and craft supplies, dirty laundry? Put those items where they belong before focusing on what’s left in the bedroom.

2. Clear the floors.

Leave nothing on the floors except furniture (and I’m going to challenge you on that in a minute). Consider storage containers, book piles, exercise equipment, or items placed in your bedroom temporarily that have begun to make themselves at home long term. Which of these things can you throw out, donate, or sell?

3. Clear surfaces.

Minimize items on your dressers, nightstands, and any shelving. These might include souvenirs, decorations, crafts, plants, piles of paper, and photos. You don’t need to eliminate everything, of course, but too often a flat surface becomes a magnet for clutter, so don’t hold back in your removal process. Keep out your most treasured items—those items that help you relax or recall happy memories. Remove anything that distracts you or stirs up anxiety, regret, or guilt. Even items that are used regularly can detract from the purpose of the room—look for ways to store them out of sight.

4. Decide how to use closets and drawers.

I know some people who store all their clothes in the closet and have eliminated the need for a dresser. And I know others, without closet space, who choose to store clothes in dresser drawers. But one thing I have found to be consistently true—the fewer clothes you keep, the more options you have for storing them in an uncluttered manner. The same goes for anything you are trying to shove in closets, drawers, and dressers…

5. Pare down decorations.

Reject decorations that simply match the colors of a bedspread; choose instead to portray images with meaning that direct your attention toward things that matter. Your decorations should tell your unique story or serve a unique purpose.

6. Get rid of furniture.

After minimizing some of the possessions in your bedroom, maybe you have a piece of furniture—or more than one—you can remove. Nothing else will make as big an impact in minimizing a bedroom as getting rid of furniture. It frees up floor space, wall space, and mental space. If you have a closet, do you really need the dresser and the armoire? What about the two nightstands, the bookcase, and the storage trunk?

7. Make the best use of under-the-bed space.

The problem with most under-the-bed spaces is that they
quickly become places for hoarding unnecessary things. Our closets are full,
our drawers are full . . . and the next available space is under the bed.

Let’s be clear—that’s not what I’m
talking about when I encourage you to use the under-the-bed space. I am talking
about being intentional with the items you keep there.

I use the space under my bed for storing useful items I don’t want to leave out in the open. Under my side of the bed, I store the books I am currently reading (because I no longer use a nightstand). My wife keeps a few boxes of keepsakes under her side as well. We live in a house with no basement or attic, so using that space under the bed has been helpful to us.

A bedroom that serves its purpose is a beautiful thing. It’s less distracting and more calming, promoting more and better sleep. It’s less crowded and more comfortable, promoting intimacy and connection.

And isn’t that the way you want to feel about your bedroom? You don’t need a fancy interior designer or brand-new furniture to change your bedroom’s vibe. You can have the feel of a dreamier bedroom without buying a thing.

Do Good. You Never Know Who (or How Many) Are Watching.

Yesterday was a fun day.

The Becoming Minimalist Facebook page passed 1,500,000 followers.

The milestone caused me to reminisce a little bit about the page.

I can remember exactly where I was when I started it. I was upstairs, in my bedroom, in our house in Vermont. I had been introduced to minimalism 18 months earlier by my neighbor.

January 3, 2010 was a Sunday. My kids were in bed and my wife was downstairs with a group of ladies. I was a bit bored and looking for something to occupy my time… so I created a Facebook page to supplement this blog.

My first post was nothing fancy:

“Hey everybody, this Facebook page is dedicated to sharing information about the becomingminimalist.com webpage. It is also created for you to share your own stories and/or photos of your journey towards minimalism in all areas of life.”

My second post, two days later, was equally exciting:

“Just posted a review of my spring/summer wardrobe experiment. Now if I could just get my wife to try it…”

I didn’t know much about Facebook and knew even less about Facebook pages.

The page started on January 3rd, 2010 with 0 followers. January 3rd, 2011, one year later, it had 1,000 followers. January 3rd, 2012, two years later, it had compiled 4,000 followers.

If you think I took any shortcuts growing this blog… those numbers should tell you otherwise. The growth of Becoming Minimalist (both this blog and the FB page) has always been slow, but consistent and meaningful.

Nevertheless, because I put myself out there, the page grew… and continued to grow… and yesterday we celebrated a milestone.

Friends, I want to encourage you today with a simple thought:

Put good out into the world, you never know who (or how many) people are going to see it.

You see, my inspiration for this website was simple: I wanted an online journal to document our family’s journey into minimalism.

My inspiration for the Facebook page was no different: a place to talk about minimalism—our journey and yours.

I wanted a place to talk about the joy of owning less. A corner of the Internet dedicated to pursuing a bigger life than the accumulation of physical possessions. It was the good that I wanted to put out into the world.

Somewhere along the way, more people started watching than I ever imagined.

But this is what happens when we put good into the world…

When we offer a listening ear to a struggling friend. When we give a loving embrace or say a loving word to our children. When we encourage and lift up others on social media rather than tear down. When we publish our poetry, our story, or our writing for the world to see. When we serve others with the talents and abilities that we possess (whether we help a friend change their oil or give our all to a classroom full of children).

When we put good out into the world, people notice—often more than we realize. And our good deeds and kind words hold the potential to change more lives than we ever thought possible—starting with those who are closest to us.

We may not do good for the sake of being noticed, but in a world that seems to be growing in hostility more than ever before, we desperately need to see yours.

More people are watching than you realize.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

F ill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

There’s Only One Thing Better Than a Lot of Money | Pete the Planner by Peter Dunn. …Not needing a lot of money.

How to Stop Shopping | Be More with Less by Courtney Carver. Buying things isn’t bad or wrong, but shopping to feel a certain way, or to prove yourself to others or because you think something will make you feel happier or more successful doesn’t work.

Welcome to America’s Other Clutter Problem. It’s Called Self-Storage | Boston Globe* by Beth Teitell. “People regularly spend thousands of dollars a year to store things they don’t want but can’t bring themselves to throw out.”

Minimalist Living | Experience Life by Heidi Wachter. Downsizing your possessions and your calendar can help you focus on the things and people that matter most.

Overcoming Overconsumption | Joshua Becker on YouTube

*Like some news sites, the Boston Globe limits the number of articles people can read without a subscription.

Everybody is Minimizing Something

Every time someone tells me, “I could never be a minimalist,” I think to myself, “But you are already.”

Because everybody is minimizing something.

If you’re not minimizing your possessions, you are minimizing your money, time, and potential.

7 Reasons I Wear The Same Thing Every Day

When I first decided to become minimalist, I can remember looking in my closet and seeing 100, maybe 120 different articles of clothing.

I cut my wardrobe in half to 60 items. But then I discovered Project 333 started by Courtney Carver. After trying it, I cut my closet in half again.

Nowadays, I own about 33 to 35 articles of clothing. Somewhere during that process, I started wearing basically the same thing every day: a V-neck t-shirt, pants, and black shoes.

I have come to love wearing the same thing each day. And I’m not alone. A lot of people are doing the same thing.

Here are some of the reasons why I wear the same thing every day:

1. Fewer decisions. This is by far the most popular reason why people decide to adopt a streamlined wardrobe.

Decision fatigue refers to the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual after a long session of decision making. Wearing the same outfit each day removes picking out clothes as a decision to be made.

The truth of the matter is, you have more important decisions to make than what you’re going to wear each morning.

2. Less time and energy wasted. When you wear the same thing every day, you save time deciding what you’re going to wear each morning. And you save significant energy over the course of the week.

Just think about how much time goes into maintaining, and organizing, and taking care of your clothes. Laundry, for example. When you decide to wear the same thing every day, all of that becomes easier. You save time in the morning and energy over the course of a week.

3. Less stress. As a result of fewer decisions and more time, wearing the same thing means you have less stress in the morning.

It also means you experience less stress over the course of the day. I don’t ever have to think about, “Oh man, am I wearing the right thing today? I wish I would’ve worn x instead.” I wear the same thing, and it works perfect for almost every occasion. I love it. You will too.

4. Save money. The average American family spends $2000 a year on clothing—despite already having closets full of clothes.

For some reason, we just keep buying more and more and more. A lot of this expense is wasted on clothes that are never worn—trial and error fashion that ends up wasting time, energy, and money.

5. Feeling put together. Every moment of every day my clothes fit, match, and just so happen to be my favorites. All day long, I feel like I’m wearing something I enjoy and look good wearing.

6. Less waste. The average American throws away 70 pounds of clothing every year. Deciding to wear the same thing is good for the planet, it’s good for you, and it’s good for everyone else as well.

7. An iconic look. Wearing the same thing every day is the quickest way to become famous. You become known for your particular style, you look put together, you look classy, you look comfortable, and you look confident. Because you’re not constantly chasing the newest fashions, you’ll communicate confidence in who you are and how you look.

I love wearing the same thing every day. You will too.

If you’re looking for help to get started on this in your own life, let me suggest: A Practical Guide to Owning Fewer Clothes.

Waste Not, Want Not

Currently, the average American household carries $137,063 in debt, but only makes $59,039 in income per year.

In some states, the ratio is even worse. In California, for example, the per-resident debt balance is $65,740 while residents make about $28,000 annually on average.

Debt to income ratio is an important measure of how people are handling their money. It’s not the only measurement, but it can tell us a lot.

I’d like to return to these statistics in a moment. But first, I’ll change the subject.

I am often confronted with a question about minimalism that goes like this, “My parents grew up during the Great Depression. They were taught a ‘waste not, want not‘ mentality. How do I help somebody with that worldview embrace minimalism when it appears to run contrary to everything they were taught growing up?”

It’s a good question and one that must be answered. In fact, in The More of Less, I write about the different generations and how factors of their upbringing may impact their view of possessions. (I also address why each living generation is currently drawn to owning less).

It is important to remember that a waste not, want not mentality to possessions is required when goods and resources are scarce or difficult to access. But when that same mentality is brought into an environment where goods are increasingly affordable and accessible, it often results in the accumulation and keeping of possessions that are not needed.

A grandmother once shared with me how this mentality resulted in a burdened life. She learned at a young age, because financial resources were limited, to take advantage of sales and never get rid of anything that could eventually serve a purpose.

“Joshua,” she said, “I have piles and piles of ungifted Christmas presents in my basement. Every year, after Christmas, when toys were put on clearance at department stores, I would stock up because I couldn’t pass up a sale. But by the next Christmas, there were new things that the kids wanted, and those toys would always go on sale. So, I bought them. But sure enough, when the toys went on sale after Christmas, I would again buy them thinking I could use them as gifts at a later date. The stack of ungifted Christmas gifts in my basement has grown and grown over the years.”

This, from my experience, is what happens when we bring a waste not, want not mindset into a world of abundance. We accumulate at too fast a pace, and rarely decumulate.

I should mention, at this point, that minimalism doesn’t mean we become reckless with the possessions we have. We don’t wastefully throw away everything in our home with the assurance that it can be quickly replaced. That’s not minimalism—that’s irresponsibility. Minimalism has just the opposite effect, it calls us to be increasingly thoughtful in the things that we own. And if something is worth owning, it is worth buying something quality that will serve its purpose for a long time.

I want to talk a little bit about the waste not, want not mentality because it is still a valuable approach to life—not in terms of possessions or the things we keep stacked up in the garage just in case we can use them in the future.

I’d like to consider the wisdom of waste not, want not, when it comes to our finances and how we spend our money.

Let me repeat the numbers above: The average American household carries $137,063 in debt, but only makes $59,039 in income per year.

Additionally, here are some other economic facts from our
country:

 58% of Americans have less than $1,000 in savings. 78% of U.S. workers are living paycheck to paycheck. 85% of Americans feel stressed about money.

These are fascinating stats to me considering America is one of the wealthiest nations in the history of the world. It doesn’t seem like 85% of us should feel stressed about money or that 78% of us should be living paycheck to paycheck.

I realize, of course, there are some uncontrollable, external factors that may be impacting our personal finances. Losing a job, a medical emergency, or unexpected tragedy (just to name a few) may result in some of us being included among the statistics above.

But for many of us, our finances are entirely under our control and we still struggle to get ahead.

The reason this happens is because we waste too much money on things we don’t need to buy.

We buy clothes we don’t need, furniture we don’t need, decorations
we don’t need, kitchen tools we don’t need, cars we don’t need, technology we
don’t need, even square footage we don’t need.

We struggle to get ahead financially, but our garages are so full of boxes we can’t park our cars inside them. This is all wasted money!

Adopting a waste not, want not mentality to possessions in times of great affordability and accessibility often results in owning more than we need.

But adopting a waste not, want not mentality to money in times of great affordability and accessibility is essential!

Money is a complicated issue with any number of different
variables that come into play in our individual lives. But there is one
principle that is important for each of us to adopt:

The less money I waste, the more money I keep.

And the less money you waste, the less stress you feel and the sooner you can get ahead financially. Waste not, want not.

A New Planner Won’t Change Your Life

One reason, I am convinced, we overspend and overbuy is because we expect too much from our purchases.

In a world of instant abs, one-day delivery, and get-rich-quick schemes, we often look for change outside ourselves.

We are told this product or that gadget will solve our problems. That our next purchase will be the solution we’ve been looking for all along.

Additionally, it is much easier to write a check, swipe a card, or click-to-ship than it is to suffer through the hard work of changing ourselves.

As a result, we are quick to believe the lie that we can buy change we desire.

I’ve never been a particularly organized person. And I’ve lived most of my life working to overcome my procrastination tendencies. As you can imagine, I have searched for the perfect purchase (daily planner) to overcome these two tendencies.

When I was in college, I bought the school-recommended assignment notebook to keep me from waiting until the last minute. It didn’t work. The final week of every semester was still spent up late finishing papers and cramming for tests.

When I got my first job, I tried numerous different planners to keep me on track. My boss used a Franklin Covey Daily Planner and I thought he looked pretty cool with it. So I bought one. I loved using that planner… for about 2 weeks. But I quickly slipped back into my old habits of disorganization and procrastination.

Soon after that, I bought a Palm Pilot hoping the electronic device would change my habits and tendencies. It did not.

A new planner did not change my life.

Now, I’m not saying that a planner can’t be helpful. But I am saying that it alone was not going to bring about the change I desired for my life. It was going to take much more work than that.

Change in my life was only going to come when I began to focus on habits and motivations and sought out lasting solutions and accountability. This is the formula for lasting life change—and it can not be circumvented by items at a department store.

I wonder how many purchases we make in life because we believe the purchase alone will bring about the change we desire:

The exercise bike in the corner we thought would make us fit.The juicer in the pantry we thought would make us eat healthy.The cookbook in the cupboard we thought would make us lose weight.The boat in the driveway we thought would bring our family closer together.The hobby we thought we’d pursue.The clothes we thought we’d wear. The books we thought we’d read.The side hustle we thought would make us rich.

There is a fine line I’m trying to walk here. Planners are
not bad, exercise bikes are not unnecessary, and not every juicer goes unused.

Sometimes these items are valuable tools. But if we fall into the trap of believing buying something new is going to magically transform us, we are mistaken.

Life change is more difficult than that. It most often begins on the inside, not at a store.

Further reading:

Are You Taking The False First Step?Declutter Your Fantasy Self

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

There’s more to life than buying stuff.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. Fortunately, some of them are gifted in communication and choose to encourage and inspire us with their words. I enjoy reading their unique perspective. I’m sure you will too.

So fix yourself a cup of coffee or tea on this beautiful weekend. Find a quiet moment. And enjoy some encouraging words about finding more simplicity in your life today.

How Minimalism Makes Me Happier and More Productive | Thrive Global by Sara Khong. Too many people live surrounded by things they don’t need “just because.” Remove things that you don’t need or love, and free up time and space for those that you do.

Is Your Kids’ Clutter Driving You Crazy? These Six Tips Can Help. | Boston Globe by Jon Gorey. Be organized, be ruthless, and be a good role model.

10 Reasons Why a Simple Lifestyle Reduces Stress and Benefits Your Health | Lifehack by Bethany Rosselit. More and more studies are showing the benefits of taking small steps to simplify your life. A little less screen time, a few less toys, and a slight decrease in stimulation can reap great rewards.

The “Urge to Purge.” Five Questions to Ask Yourself | No Sidebar by Leni Dawson. The key to well-being is not the behavior itself, but the motivation that drives the behavior.

How Less Stuff Leads to a Bigger Life | Joshua Becker on YouTube.

How to “Sell Minimalism” to a Reluctant Spouse or Partner

Years ago, I was listening to a radio interview with a particularly successful person. Most people I know would classify him as successful in about every possible definition of the word.

During the interview he made a statement I found intriguing.

Speaking of his children, he offered this insight:

If I could pick one skill I’d like my kids to master, it would be sales.

He explained further:

Think about it, all of life is sales. Even if we’re not selling a product or service, we’re constantly selling our opinions, ourselves, our worldview, or even what movie we should go see on a Friday night. All of life is sales and knowing how to sell an idea to another person is among the most helpful skills anybody can possess.

He’s right, I think, about the reality that much of life is sales—not necessarily selling physical products, but hoping to convince others about our worldview, our political opinion, our religious faith, or even our picture of a perfect weekend with the family.

For that reason, I was drawn by a headline this past week to read an article in the Harvard Business Review, “How to Improve Your Sales Skills, Even If You’re Not a Salesperson.”

It’s a helpful article and it offers valuable advice. I invite you to read it or skim it briefly. because I’d like to adapt its findings to a question I am asked more than any other, “How do I get my reluctant partner onboard with minimalism?”

How do we convince a reluctant spouse or partner to adopt a minimalist lifestyle?

Or, better stated, how can we “sell the idea of minimalism?”

The articles offers helpful ideas for being a better salesperson and the points can be appropriately applied to our question.

How to “Sell Minimalism” to a Reluctant Spouse or Partner:



1. Reflect on Your Past Positive Experiences.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, as the old
saying goes. The proverb has stood the test of time because it is true. You are
not going to draw a reluctant spouse or partner toward minimalism by focusing
on the negatives or having the conversation while frustrated.

Instead, reflect on your own positive experience with minimalism. Keep optimism and invitation as the foundation for your conversation. Don’t list the negatives of their current actions, lay out the positives of owning less.

2. Put Yourself in Your Counterpart’s Shoes.

It’s your job to figure out your spouse’s or partner’s motivations. Consider the conversation from their point of view and brainstorm what benefits would draw them to minimalism. The reason you were drawn to owning less may be different than the reason that would draw them.

They may not feel the weight of cleaning or organizing, but may be drawn to the idea of saving money, working less, or traveling more. Find what benefit would move the needle in their life.

3. Plan and Practice.

It is smart to engage in this conversation with your spouse or partner at an appropriate time. Don’t shake your fist in a moment of frustration or rage and consider that your opportunity to invite him or her into minimalism. Too many of our conversations about clutter happen when we are already on edge about physical possessions.

Instead, go out for coffee or dinner. Engage in a heartfelt conversation about the direction of your lives and what you are hoping to change. Think through how you are going to introduce the conversation and practice articulating the benefits that will resonate with them.

4. Stay Calm and Don’t Brag.

Humility and selflessness are essential in healthy relationships. They should be part of this conversation as well.

Be careful to not approach the minimalism conversation with pride and arrogance. Remember, almost certainly there are a few things your spouse or partner would like to change about you. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume they may surface during this conversation. Don’t get defensive. In fact, your own weaknesses might be used to your advantage if you look for compromise together.

5. Close the Deal.

This is important and too often overlooked in sales. End your sales pitch by looking for opportunities to specifically close the deal. Sometimes “closing the deal” means asking your spouse or partner if they are willing to make real change at home.

But sometimes, “closing the deal” means something else—especially if they are clearly not ready to jump in with both feet. “Closing the deal” may be simply asking, “Is this a conversation you’d be willing to engage in with me in the future?” Or maybe it’s brainstorming ways to work together in the near future or finding an easier first step that he or she is comfortable taking.

6. Think Long Term.

According to the Harvard Business Review article above, “Veteran salespeople know it’s possible that you’re going to fail more than you will succeed. You have to have the guts to move forward.” It is possible your spouse or partner may not be willing right now to accept minimalism as a lifestyle. That’s too bad, but okay.

Keep leading by example and looking for opportunities in the future to approach the conversation again. Sometimes life change takes longer than we desire. Show patience, keep love at the center of your relationship, and think long-term. In the end, the benefits of minimalism always win out… sometimes it just takes a little longer than we hope.