Joshua Becker's Blog, page 66

To Change Your Financial Circumstances, Choose Focus

In his New York Times bestselling book, The One Thing, Gary Keller argues for a simple truth: “When you want the absolute best chance to succeed at anything you want, your approach should always be the same. Go small.”

He supports his thesis throughout the book by using research, examples, and personal experience. “Extraordinary results are directly determined by how narrow you can make your focus,” he reiterates.

This advice is not new or unique. In fact, the truth has been espoused and modeled by some of the most successful men and women throughout history:

“Be like a stamp—stick to one thing until you get there.” —Josh Billings“It is those who concentrate on but one thing at a time who advance in this world.” —Og Mandino“You must be single-minded. Drive for the one thing on which you have decided.” —General George S. Patton“Success demands singleness of purpose.” —Vince Lombardi

Those who are most successful in their life endeavors are those who identify, define, and pursue their next most important step without being distracted from it.

I find his advice compelling in any area of life, but especially in our approach to personal finance and making the changes we desire.

Many of us feel the stress of our circumstances and sense that the clock is ticking on our life. We want to budget better, pay off our credit card debt, save for retirement, fund our child’s college, pay off the mortgage, invest in real estate… and we want to do it all right now, today.

The options paralyze us. Or maybe better put, the immensity of what “we should be doing with our money” paralyzes us. And so, too often, we throw up our hands in disgust, deciding that doing nothing is better than failing at everything.

We understand the importance of healthy, life-giving financial habits. We’ve seen their positive influence on the lives of others and we envy the life they live. We desire it to be true of ourselves, but the road looks too long from our Point A to their Point B. So we give up the pursuit before we even start.

I want to
offer a new approach for you today. Go small. Choose focus.

Your One Thing

Rather than trying to do everything at once or before the end of next weekend, choose just one step to pursue today and pursue it with blinders on, refusing to be distracted by “everything else you should be doing better in your financial life.”

You don’t
have to start with a big step and you don’t have to have everything figured out
before you start. Remember, one small step down the right path is all you need
to start heading in the right direction.

This truth
applies to every positive life change we desire to embrace with our lives. The
journey anywhere almost always starts with one small step. As I look back over
the past years of my life, I see this theme recurring over and over again:

The journey of
removing most of our worldly possessions began by simply removing the clutter
from our cars.The accomplishment
of running my first marathon started by waking up one day and running one mile.The journey of
establishing a blog and inspiring others began with one simple post.When my wife wanted
to learn how to sew, she began by attending just one sewing class at a local
church with a few of her friends.When my son wanted
to make the high school volleyball team, he went out in the driveway with my
wife and first learned how to bump.

Some of the
most significant achievements in your life can be traced back to one small step
in the right direction.

Today I
encourage you to choose just one financial goal you intend to pursue. Make it
your One Thing—the single most important first step that you intend to take for
you and your family.

A next, best step is going to look different from one person to another and one family to another. As well it should—we come from different backgrounds, different starting points, different income levels, and different family/living situations. But the importance of choosing just one step applies to each of us.

One Step at a Time

What is the
next best step for you to pursue?

In all my years of discussing financial well-being with others, I have never seen an approach to financial intentionality work better than Dave Ramsey’s seven steps to financial freedom. For that reason, let’s consider these steps to help determine your best, next one. They come from his book The Total Money Makeover.

Step 1: Save $1,000 for your starter emergency fund.

Step 2: Pay off all debt except the house mortgage using the debt snowball
(paying off accounts starting with those that have the smallest balances
first).

Step 3: Save three to six months’ worth of expenses in a fully funded emergency
fund.

Step 4: Invest 15% of your household income in retirement.

Step 5: Save for your children’s college fund.

Step 6: Pay off your home.

Step 7: Build wealth and give.

I encourage
you to identify where you are on the list above. What step do you need to
complete next? Save $1,000? Pay off debt? Start saving for retirement? Maybe
it’s pay off your mortgage or become more generous?

Resolve to
complete just the next one thing in your financial journey. Don’t get
sidetracked trying to do everything at once.

It is
important to note that each of those steps above can be broken into smaller
parts. We begin saving $1,000 by saving $100, then $200. We pay off our debts
one credit card or loan at a time, starting with the smallest one. We begin
saving three to six months’ worth of expenses by reaching one month, then two.

See what I
mean? Even the next financial step for you can be broken into smaller steps.

My heart for you is to help you become more intentional with your finances and discover greater peace because of it. Remember Gary Keller’s words: “If you want the absolute best chance to succeed at anything you want, your approach should always be the same. Go small.”

Pick one
small financial goal and pursue with all your energy and focus. You can do it.

Encouraging Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscious decision because it is a countercultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of overconsumption that surrounds us.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

For that reason, I hope you will make an effort this weekend to find a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy some of these hand-picked articles to encourage more simplicity in your life.

How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think of You | Harvard Business Review by Michael Gervais. If you want to be your best and perform at a high level, fear of people’s opinions may be holding you back.

Buying Less is Better Than Buying ‘Green’—for the Planet and your Happiness | Phys.org by University of Arizona. Reduced consumption has effects on increased well-being and decreased psychological distress, but we don’t see that with green consumption.

Decluttering Tips to Help With Anxiety Relief | Yahoo! by Tatiana Garcia. Owning less and being more intentional with your purchases can lead to more calm and fulfillment — here’s how.

4 Bad Reasons to Keep Clothes You Don’t Wear | The Washington Post by Nicole Anzia. Fall is the optimal time to clean out your closet.

10 Reasons We Love Our Smaller Home | Joshua Becker on YouTube

Why Fewer Toys Will Benefit Your Kids | Joshua Becker on YouTube

—

Uncluttered. If you’re looking for help trying to minimize your possessions, our 12-week course will help you own less, live more, and discover the life you want. Registrations ends this Sunday, October 13. The course begins on Tuesday.

Get Uncluttered Today

“I have significantly less stress in my life and more self-control. Most importantly, I’m becoming more like the mom and wife I want to be.” — Caryn Seney

Becoming minimalist is a website that reaches people from every walk of life—those who are living a minimalist life, those who are just discovering it, and those who are in the process of achieving it.

I have talked and emailed with many of you. And I know the process is easier for some than others.

There are many of you reading this blog who desire to live a minimalist life, but are struggling to achieve it. You want to own less, but you’re not sure where to start. Uncluttered was created specifically for you.

Uncluttered

Uncluttered is a 12-week online course designed intentionally to help you own less, live more, and discover the life you’ve always wanted.

Tens of thousands of people, from all over the world, have used the principles to declutter their home and life, and you can too.

This is the last time we will be offering the course this year—with just enough time to declutter the most lived-in areas of your home in time for the holidays.

But registration ends on Sunday, October 13 at 11:59pm PT.

The course includes…

Videos with step-by-step instructions Interviews with leaders in productivity and minimalism Live webinars tackling specific clutter topics Live Q&As for members to ask me questions Weekly challenges And perhaps best of all: accountability and encouragement from a super-engaged community

Every Monday, you receive a video from me, an exclusive interview with one of the brightest minds in the simplicity movement, and/or written content prepared exclusively for the course. You will receive a weekly challenge to complete and opportunities to engage with the community in a private Facebook group and with me during live webinars and live question and answer opportunities.

The course offers everything a book or blog post cannot: community, accountability, and opportunity to ask questions.

Family

If you have a family, we provide extra helpful resources to help you navigate. My co-host Zoë Kim is a mother of four and I have two teenagers at home.

There is a section of resources including a family-specific webinar to answer your questions, a free Children’s ebook to read with your kids, and a Couple’s Discussion Guide to spark conversation with your spouse or partner.

Also, if you sign up for this current edition of the course, I’ll give you a PDF copy of my book, Clutterfree with Kids for free.

More than anything else, I want you to be successful during this 12-week course and will provide every resource we can to help you do that.

The Details

Again, this is the final time we are offering the course this year.

The course begins on Tuesday, October 15. Registration is open now, but only for the next 9 days—ending October 13.

The cost is $89. But you can find a 25% off discount code in the back of The Minimalist Home. The book is not required—but it’s cheaper to buy the book and use the discount code than it is to pay full price—the option is yours.

I am personally involved in every aspect of the course. Helping people live more by owning less is what I am passionate about. I host the webinars. I answer questions in the Facebook group. And I host live video chats. I have come to understand how essential community, accountability, and ongoing encouragement is for people. And I work hard to craft that culture for the Uncluttered Course.

When you join Uncluttered, you’ll receive lifetime access to the course. That means you can take it as many times as you want (or need). I know life can be busy, and the unexpected can happen at any time. But we’re here to help you succeed. And if you ever want to do the course again, or just enjoy a decluttering refresher, you’ll be welcomed back.

Stop letting guilt and overwhelm stand in your way. The home you want is less than 12 weeks away.

Visit Uncluttered to join us.

A Day Without Internet

Note: This is a guest post from Jess Chua of Optimal Living Daily.

My boyfriend and I moved into a new home earlier this year.

The water and electric utilities had been set up. The internet, however, was scheduled to be connected the following day.

For disclosure purposes, I don’t own a smartphone. Living without a smartphone isn’t as big of a deal to me as going without a wifi connection.

As a work from home writer, I’ve always considered high-speed internet to be a vital necessity. It keeps me connected to what’s going on in the world and in my network. Above all, it allows me to have a location independent career.

Since I knew I wasn’t going to have internet access for a couple of days and that would be a unique situation for me, I took some steps to prepare my “offline” workload for those days.

I expected to feel antsy and out of sorts. In reality, I was pleasantly surprised to undergo a thoroughly different experience. Instead of feeling lost, I managed to get a lot done and feel a deep sense of calm and satisfaction at the end of the work day.

Here are some things I learned from having temporarily limited internet access:

1. Planning doesn’t need to be complicated.

My preparation for working offline included downloading the documents I needed to refer to or edit onto a thumbdrive. I packed my work laptop and charger the night before so I wouldn’t need to rush or look for items in the morning. This helped me to start the day off on a refreshing and positive note.

2. Eliminating distractions is the key to sharpening focus.

I initially envisioned being irritated without internet access, because my mind wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else (which sounds like a classic case of withdrawal symptoms). However, I found my ability to focus was greatly enhanced in the absence of information at my fingertips.

Instead of obsessively researching and sifting through an endless plethora of data, I focused on each task at hand with undivided attention.

3. Technology shouldn’t replace nature.

I sometimes listen to instrumental music while writing or blogging. The music depends on my mood. On this day sans internet, I did my work to more natural sounds like birds chirping in the morning and leaves rustling in the afternoon breeze. During my lunch break, I watched some beautiful red cardinals and blue jays from my kitchen window.

Instead of getting caught up in digital news feeds and sensational headlines, I felt more calm observing and feeling connected to the natural world. We might tell ourselves that what’s on a virtual screen “isn’t real,” but its effects on us certainly are real.

4. You can be calm and productive at the same time.

I managed to check off the items on my to-do list with less mental stress than usual. Instead of trying to do too much while multitasking, I got what needed to be done through simplifying the day’s routine and streamlining my efforts under technologically limited circumstances.

If unplugging from the internet or other forms of technology is something you’ve never done before, the change from your daily routine can be scary to consider, but the rewards outweigh the risks. I’m almost ashamed to admit it took a delayed installer to open my eyes to it.

Thinking about dipping your toes into digital minimalism?

Try some of these tips to experience the benefits while limiting your reliance on technology.

● Get organized. Set aside a bit of time in the morning for organizing your thoughts and goals. If you check your phone or somehow connect to technology within the first five minutes of waking up, stop! How you spend the first few minutes upon waking up has a big impact on the rest of your day.

● Reduce distractions. Before the era of smartphones and social media, surfing the internet was mostly limited to using a desktop computer. Research has shown that smartphones may actually be rewiring our brains. Social media alone could be costing some of us almost fifty hours per month.

Whether you choose to unfollow, mute, or resort to more drastic measures like entering a phone rehab program, be mindful with which of your digital notifications act as distractions more than anything else.

● Appreciate nature every day. What are some of the things you like about nature? Maybe it’s the sunrise, the seasons, or rainy weather that you’ve always felt drawn to. Simply observing nature often has a calming or humbling effect as it reminds us of the rhythm and continuity of life. Admiring the power and beauty of nature will make you feel more aware and connected to life away from a digital screen.

● Prioritize rest. Trying to do too much at once often leaves us frazzled. Prioritize rest so that you’re able to improve your productivity levels. This means winding down at least thirty to sixty minutes before you head off to sleep. Not using your phone or computer during this time helps you to optimize your sleep environment — and your health.

● Ask yourself what you can do without. Going on a technology detox will help you think about what else you can give up. Apply this to different areas in your life. For example, things you could do without may include Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), frivolous spending habits, a negative mindset, toxic colleagues, or a cluttered workstation. Think about how “less is more” in these areas, and take small steps towards making your desired life a reality.

Remember that there are many important reasons to unplug.

The last thing you want to do with your phone or digital devices is wonder how much of your life you’ve frittered away on mindless scrolling.

Be conscious of how you use technology and you’ll find your quality of life improve in fascinating ways.

***

Jess Chua is passionate about mindful living. She writes and edits content for the Optimal Living Daily Podcast , which features content from various blogs.

Pursuing a Richer, Fuller Level of Happiness

My friend Jason and his wife are in their early forties. Four years ago they had three school-aged children when they adopted a 12 year old from the New Jersey foster care system. Understanding that their lives would be forever changed by the decision, they moved forward because they knew it was the right thing to do—they had an opportunity to change someone’s life and they couldn’t pass it up.

Today, life looks a lot different for them than it once did. The challenges of parenting a child who has experienced more than children should have to endure has stretched each person in the family in ways they never imagined.

As Jason and I shared a cup of coffee last week, I was curious how he’d narrate his family’s journey.

“Joshua, I’ve got to be honest—it’s hard,” he said during a moment of openness and vulnerability. “Some days at home are better than others, but there continue to be a lot of really rough moments.”

I listened and nodded while knowing deep in my heart I had no idea the depths of emotional and physical struggle their family has faced in recent years.

Jason continued, “You know what’s weird? Maybe the hardest part is everything I have been forced to confront about myself through all this: struggles I thought I had overcome in my life and lessons that I didn’t think I had left to learn. All my assumptions about what the perfect American life is supposed to look like have been challenged.”

A follow-up question came to mind—one that I struggled to ask because I did not want it to be misinterpreted by him in any way. I proceeded slowly, almost apologetically, to ask, “Jason, would you say that you are happier now?”

He set down his cup and looked off into the distance as if to clear his mind to ensure the words came out right. After a long, contemplative breath, he replied. “I am happier. But it’s hard to describe. I would say that I now have a deeper, richer view of happiness than I had before.”

Jason had discovered, the hard way, that a life that is deeply satisfying can look very different than the one he’d once expected.

“It’s kinda like I look back on my life before, how I measured happiness, and see that there’s this deeper level of joy in my life now,” he continued.

“Yeah, it would be great to have the newer car, or the house renovation, or the white picket fence and the picture-perfect family, but I think that kind of happiness is short-lived. Or at least happiness can look very different than that. I am experiencing a deep satisfaction and happiness because we know that this is what we were meant to do.”

Boom.

Jason named something I have been trying to find the words to communicate for a long time: our deepest happiness in life stems from fulfilling purpose. Doing the best we can, where we are, with what we’ve been given is the best way to live a life of meaning and significance.

It’s how to be happy.

The Lie We’ve Been Fed

Jason’s experience of happiness flies in the face of what most people in Western society have been conditioned to believe about where happiness can be found. Retailers, advertisers, and marketers of every stripe have led us to believe that we’ll be happy with the next thing we attain. This is the underlying message of every advertising campaign—that we are not as happy or fulfilled as we would be with their product in our life. So we spend our time, energy, and resources on that which, in the long run, fails to satisfy.

An article in USA Today put a price tag on the American dream so many of us have been taught is our birthright. According to their calculations—counting house, car, necessities, simple luxuries, even savings and retirement—it costs $103,357/year to live the American dream.

I find this incredibly foolish. I’ve spent 90 percent of my life making less than half that dollar figure and have never felt deprived in any way. But even more telling and unfortunate to me is how the article’s writers defined the American Dream. To them, it requires a $275,000 house, a 4WD SUV, restaurants, entertainment, vacations, even a maxed-out 401k plan. This is how they define happiness—in material terms, and material terms only.

This is the message we are constantly fed.

As a result:

We continually seek happiness in the next purchase—clothing, phones, tech gadgets, cars, houses.

We continually seek happiness in the next job or a bigger paycheck—more prestige, more power, more satisfaction, more dollars.

We continually seek happiness in the next physical enhancement—tauter skin, slimmer figure, larger muscles.

We continually seek happiness in the next escape—clubs, television, vacations, addictions.

We continually seek happiness in the next relationship—the next woman or man who will meet our needs.

And while these pursuits may pay off for a moment of pleasure, they consistently fail to deliver lasting happiness. That’s why we constantly pursue more and more of them—but are never fully satisfied. You can never accumulate enough of that which will never make you happy.

Many of us are so busy chasing the next thing that we never pause to ask if what we’re after will truly satisfy. So we feel a pang of envy scrolling through our sister-in-law’s St. Thomas vacation photos. We may long for the leisure enjoyed by our neighbor, who retired at 55 and now plays golf every day. We might even quietly believe that the parents of our child’s friend are happier because of what they wear, where they live, and what they drive.

But when we pause from our scramble long enough to reflect, we notice that the folks who are “living the dream” aren’t as happy as we expected they might be. They are off chasing the next attainment just as feverishly as we are.

When we’re in our right minds, we recognize that lasting happiness must be found somewhere else than the pursuit of more perks and pleasures. My friend Sandra is someone who has been able to pause and name what makes her deeply satisfied.

Living to the Fullest

Sandra owns a popular local restaurant and employs teens to bus tables there. Sandra shared with me that a 17-year-old girl started working at the restaurant on a Mother’s Day, which was wildly busy. As the young employee was punching her timecard at the end of the day, Sandra asked her how she felt about her first day.

With an exhausted look on her face, the girl remarked, “I am so tired.”

Sandra, who’d also hustled throughout the day, added, “I know! Doesn’t it feel great?”

The young girl, clearly surprised by her boss’s comment, mustered, “Uh…I don’t know if that’s what I was going to say…”

Sandra laughed as she recounted the story to me, explaining, “There’s just this wonderful feeling to know that you’ve put your whole heart into something and lived your day to the fullest. That you didn’t waste it. You made the most of it!”

What Sandra was describing about work is also true in life. We experience meaning and satisfaction when we get to the end of the day, end of the year, end of the season, and know that we put everything we had into what we were doing. That we gave our all to something bigger than us.

That kind of meaning and purpose simply can’t be found among life’s more fleeting pleasures. Those things may add short moments of happiness and pleasure, but we experience the most authentic, longest-lasting happiness when we fulfill the role we’ve been called to live. We taste it, not as we strive to please ourselves, but as we offer the benefit we’re designed to provide in the world.

If you know what your purpose is, that’s great. If you don’t, let me suggest one simple step you can take today. Who is one person in your life who needs what you can offer? A child, a co-worker, a friend, or maybe a customer at your business? What benefit can you bring into that person’s world today?

This—living a life not for ourselves but for others—is at the root of that deeper happiness we were each made for. And the big win is that it’s not available only to the privileged few!

A 15-year-old girl who hosts a fundraiser to help orphaned children find families can experience authentic happiness.

A woman who cares for an ailing parent can enjoy knowing that she is doing the most with what she has.

A man with a Ph.D. who’s just completed drug rehab and is working at Home Depot can choose happiness by serving others on the job.

The parent who can’t afford to take his family to Disneyland can use his vacation days to build a Habitat for Humanity home with his teenage son.

Experiencing satisfaction by doing the best we can, right where we are, with what we’ve been given is going to look different for each person. The mom of a colicky newborn might count it a win to get to the end of the day having only broken down in tears twice. The retired financial consultant might help a struggling nonprofit stay afloat financially. A father who coaches his daughter’s Little League team after work might spend two extra hours a week with a boy who’s never known his father.

You can tackle what is in front of you today with confidence that as you purpose to benefit others where you are, with what you’ve been given, you can enjoy meaning and satisfaction.

When Happiness Doesn’t Look Like What You Expected

Because selfless living, in service to others, is what we’re made for, we can even experience happiness when life doesn’t turn out the way we thought it might.

Helen was working as a pediatric nurse when a newborn with special needs was abandoned at the hospital where she worked. Helen and her husband, a respected attorney and leader in their community, decided to adopt this little girl. Six months later, Helen’s husband died unexpectedly, leaving her to raise two teenage daughters and an infant with special needs all on her own.

That was 10 years ago.

By no stretch of the imagination is anyone who is searching for happiness going to look at Helen’s family and aspire to walk the road they’ve traveled. Honestly, there’s no earthly reason why Helen should be happy. She doesn’t check any of the boxes that our culture has used to measure success.

And yet today she experiences a kind of satisfaction in life that most of us only dream about. It’s not based on the size of her house, the model of her car, or the cash available in her savings account. It is a happiness based on something far greater and built on realities that can never perish, spoil, or fade. She has done the best she can with the one life she’s been given. And when she lays her head down on the pillow each night, she can feel fully satisfied with the life she has lived that day.

I don’t believe finding deep happiness is ever a walk in the park. It doesn’t always look like the images we see in ads or even a stress-free life. Not every day is cheerful bliss. Sometimes happiness is hard and messy. Sometimes it feels like achy legs or sheer exhaustion.

Sometimes a life that is deeply satisfying looks very different than the one we thought we were promised.

Income can’t determine our happiness.

Life’s unavoidable losses can’t determine our happiness.

Illness can’t determine our happiness.

Unexpected challenges, ones that we never imagined when we were dreaming the dreams for our lives, can’t determine our happiness.

Even relationships, ultimately, cannot determine our happiness.

Lasting satisfaction can be ours only when we invest our life into those things that are worthy of the one life we’ve been given.

Choosing Happiness

If you’re weary of chasing after pleasures that fail to satisfy, and itching to experience a deeper satisfaction in life, let these three thoughts be your guide:

First, dig in right where you are. Care for the people in your kitchen. Your swing set. Your carpool. Your neighborhood. Your soccer field.

Second, use what you have. Do you enjoy cooking? Do you interact with people in your day job? Can you do simple home repairs? Use the opportunities and gifts you’ve already been given.

Third, benefit others. Though our natural instinct is to please ourselves, open your eyes to those around you who might be in need. How can you do good for the people in your orbit—neighbors, strangers, people who speak a language other than English, children without parents, folks who look different than you?

Tackle what is in front of you with confidence as you purpose to benefit others where you are, with what you’ve been given. You will find joy and lasting meaning in it.

You will discover happiness.

—

The preceding article was originally published in Simplify Magazine where I regularly contribute longer-form articles.

The One Sentence You Need Each Day to Set Your Intention

There are few pursuits more important than living an intentional life. Indeed, it is the value of our commitment that determines the direction of our lives.

To choose a life that is not wasted, but to center our energies on pursuits of lasting value is one of the best decisions we can make. But in a world that calls repeatedly for our attention and affection, intentional living can be difficult and requires daily focus.

I learned the discipline of setting my intention each morning when I was in college. Over 20 years later, I still recite the sentence every morning.

A spiritual mentor was the first person to share the idea with me. He said it like this, “Every morning, before I start my day, I set my intention with a simple sentence that goes like this:

Today, I commit myself to ____________________.”

The sentence above, intentionally left blank, gets to be filled and concluded each morning however you choose to complete it.

For example:

Today, I commit myself to being the best mother I can be.Today, I commit myself to being a faithful spouse.Today, I commit myself to healthy eating.Today, I commit myself to selflessness.Today, I commit myself to a specific spiritual pursuit.Today, I commit myself to this work goal.Today, I commit myself to getting out of debt.

A thousand people may read this article and a thousand different sentences may emerge. The possibilities are endless, but your specific sentence should be singular. Choose one intention (the most important and consequential) and set your mind, your day, and yourself in that direction.

It is not difficult to do and has served to be life-changing for me.

How the Intention-Setting Sentence Works

Here are a few things to keep in mind about the practice:

1. Set your intention as early in the morning as possible.

At the beginning, combine the statement with a trigger action: taking a shower, brushing your teeth, or your first sip of coffee. Choose a time before the day gets away from you or distraction sets in (an email, a boss, or a crying baby) and state your intention aloud.

2. Your intention-setting sentence can be completed in a second or meditated on for hours.

This intention-setting sentence holds value in the few seconds it takes to recite. It reminds your mind, heart, and soul of your desire for the day.

But it is also a statement that can be meditated upon for hours if time permits. What does it mean for me to be the best parent that I can be? What are the most important projects I should be working hard on? What does it look like to live selfless today?

Most days, I set my intention with just a few words while I shower. But I have never regretted the meditative time of focusing deeper upon it.

3. Setting your intention each morning does not eliminate distractions.

I have set my intention each morning for decades, but have still been distracted from it on countless occasions. Stating your intention does not mean you will never slip up in your pursuit of it. But it does remind you each morning of your goal for the day and sets your affection upon it. Beginning your day focused on an intentional approach beats drifting every day.

4. Your intention is not the only thing you will do that day.

You are not uttering a statement of exclusion. You can commit yourself in the morning to be an intentional father while still going to work and focusing on your career goals. But your stated intention will help keep your focus in the right place.

5. Your intention may change each day or it may stay the same.

My intention each morning centers around my faith and it does not change. It is my most important pursuit every day as I seek to live the most fulfilling and abundant life I can. But it is not required each morning to keep it the same. I would warn against changing it every day, but it is perfectly natural for our goals and intentions to change as we pass through the various seasons of life.

6. Setting your intention gets easier over time.

Try it, right now, before you read further. What is it that you most want your life to be focused on today? Even if there are only a few hours left in your day, try it for the first time.

Now, try to remember to repeat it again in the morning. If you forget (you probably will), don’t worry. Just set your intention as soon as you remember to do so. Over time, you will find it easier and easier to remember in the morning. Soon, it will be part of your regular routine.

How to Choose Your Intention

If you don’t know what intention is worth setting each
morning, here are some helpful questions to get you started:

What are the 2-3 most important things you want to accomplish in your life? Does one stand out above the others?Is there a role in your life you feel compelled to succeed at?Is there an overarching spiritual belief or worldview that helps you make sense of the world? Does it motivate you to live a full life?What current healthy life change are you pursuing?When you close your eyes at night, what daily pursuit or accomplishment leaves you feeling the most fulfilled?

Did any of those questions draw out a pursuit more important than the others? Did you notice any recurring themes in your answers? Did any of your responses surprise you? Were there any words or phrases that seem to represent your passions better than others?

If you are struggling to come up with the perfect wording to complete your intention-setting sentence, please don’t.

Start with what you know to be true. You can change it as soon as tomorrow.

Intentional living is one of the best gifts we can ever give ourselves. It is also one of the most significant gifts we can give to the people we love and the world around us.

Get started with one sentence every morning:

“Today, I commit myself to ____________________.”

Encouraging Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Never underestimate the importance of removing stuff you don’t need.

Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us
to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work
diligently with optimism and promise.

Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge
regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To
that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.

Each post was intentionally chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

9 Things about Happiness and Money We’re Often Taught Too Late | CNBC by Peter Buckman. I’m able to look back on my life and feel reasonably successful and happy. Now that I’m nearly 80, I’ve learned nine important lessons about success, money, and happiness.

A Minimalist In The Making | No Sidebar by Heather Aardema. With my last paycheck in the bank, it hit me that I had spent the last 2 decades busy distracting myself by consuming people, places, and things solely because I was so utterly unfulfilled in my career.

Why We Should Stop Celebrating Consumerism | Forbes by Joshua Becker. Let’s continue to admire success. But it is time to stop celebrating consumerism. Our society is longing for people who can tell the difference.

Practicing Minimalism. How Loss Can Teach You that Less is More. | Paper & Coin by Octavia Ramirez. It was in losing everything that I reframed what was of real value to my life long before the concept of minimalism became mainstream.

Declutter in 5 Minutes: 10 Quick Tips | Joshua Becker on YouTube

How to Be Happier Today

Happiness is a state of mind. Specifically, it is a state of “well-being and contentment.”

But the definition can be tricky and assumptions about the word can cause confusion. Some people, when they hear the word ‘happiness,’ assume it is speaking of an emotion such as pleasure or joy. For them, happiness is what people feel in the immediate here and now.

This is the reason some people say, “Don’t pursue happiness, seek joy. Happiness is fickle and fading, joy remains forever.”

But this short-term definition of happiness is not how everyone understands the word. Some define it to mean long-term satisfaction.

In fact, when I speak of experiencing happiness in life, I am not thinking of short-term emotions at all. I think of a quality of living—a much longer-term view of the word.

Both definitions are understood to be correct and speak of different realities.

But are they really that different? I don’t think so.

After all, a long-term experience of life satisfaction is almost certainly made up of many short-term feelings of joy and pleasure. Does that mean every day is a great day with no trials, temptations, or downturns? Certainly not. But it does mean when we look back at the many seasons of life, we can look back satisfied at how we navigated them.

The long-term feeling of life satisfaction (happiness) is most experienced when we embrace the emotion of joy in the here and now (happiness).

And we accomplish that by taking steps each day to be happy.

Here are some specific actions you can take right now to become happier:



1. Make happiness a choice you choose each day.

The most important thing to realize about happiness is that it is not an outcome of current circumstances. Just the opposite, it is a choice you make every day. Is this easier on some days than others? Absolutely. But if you get caught in the trap of thinking your circumstances need to change before you can be happy, you’ll never, ever get there.

2. Focus on the good.

There are good things in your life right now: you are alive, you are fed, you are healthy, you have family and friends, and you have opportunity each day to pursue meaningful work. Maybe not all of those are true for you right now, but certainly some of them are—which means there is good in your life that you can focus on.

Marine Sgt. Jonny Joseph Jones lost both of his legs in an explosion while serving in Afghanistan. I was struck by a quote of his I saw recently. He said this, “People ask how I stay so positive after losing my legs… I simply ask how they stay so negative when they have both of theirs.”

Happiness is about choosing perspective and if you’re looking for reasons to be happy, you’ll probably find them.

3.  Stop comparing yourself to other people.

No matter how you choose to define happiness—short-term or long-term—comparison will rob you of it. Whether we compare our finances, our body type, our vacations, our talents, our house size or our shoe size, there are no winners in the game of comparison. But here’s the good news: Nobody is forcing you to play! You can stop any time you want. Be grateful for what you have, appreciate who you are, work hard every day to live your best life, and stop worrying about everybody else.

4. Practice gratitude and generosity.

In the world of positive psychology, there are a few themes that emerge every time happiness is studied. Among those recurring themes, we find gratitude and generosity.

Both of which can only be understood correctly when we see them as disciplines rather than responses. A discipline is something we practice regardless of our circumstances. If you are waiting for enough money to become generous, you’ll never get there. Likewise, if you are waiting for everything to be perfect to be grateful, you’ll never experience it. Choose to be thankful today. And choose to be generous with your time and money. Making them both a discipline in your life will result in a happier today… and tomorrow.

5. Don’t waste your life pursuing unnecessary physical possessions.

Possessions are necessary for life, but our society has seemed to confuse consumerism with happiness. Marketers work hard to convince us their products are not just needed for life, but that they are essential for happiness.

Slowly but surely, we begin to believe their empty promises and waste our lives pursuing things that can never satisfy. We sacrifice time, money, energy, and focus chasing and accumulating things we do not need.

These excess possessions add stress, worry, and burden onto our lives. Want to become a bit more happy today? Go decluter a closet or drawer and start to challenge consumerism in your life.

6. Be present in your relationships.

Robert J. Waldinger is an American psychiatrist and Professor at Harvard Medical School where he is best known for directing the world’s longest-running longitudinal study tracking the health and mental well-being of a group of 724 American men for 76 years.

One thing that he has learned, and has been confirmed by studies elsewhere, is that relationships hold the key to happiness:

Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.

We don’t get to control every aspect of our relationships (we didn’t choose our family, for example). But we can all take steps to be a good friend. And good friends tend to attract healthy community.

7. Develop healthy habits.

Annie Dillard is credited for saying, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” And she is right. Our lives are filled with days, our days are filled with hours, and this present hour is filled with whatever you chose to fill it with. So pursue healthy habits that add value to your hours, days, and lifetime.

Spend time outside. Eat healthy. Exercise regularly. Quit smoking. Put down your cell phone. Work hard. Pray often. And get enough sleep.

8. Look outside yourself.

The pursuit of self comes natural to us. We don’t need to be reminded to pursue our own self-interests. We pursue self-survival, self-promotion, self-actualization, and self-exaltation as if it is hardwired in our genes.

But the most efficient pathway to lasting happiness and fulfillment is not to look only at your own interests, but also to the interests of others. When we shift our focus off of ourselves, we live lives of greater meaning and greater contribution. When we serve others without concern over what we might receive in return, we experience the beauty of selfless love. The size of our universe (and happiness) begins to expand exponentially.

It is no small thing that happiness is pursued by so many. Let’s make sure we find it—in both the short term and the long term.

7 Things I Learned When I Stopped Drinking Alcohol

Note: This is a guest post from Courtney Carver of Be More with Less.

If you are trying to simplify your life, you might start with decluttering and paying off debt, or reducing busyness and discovering how you want to spend your time. Those are the things I focused on in the beginning too.

As I removed things that didn’t add value to my life, I found more opportunity to notice other things that didn’t add value to my life.

I want to remove the things that remove me from my life. So in January, I decided to stop drinking alcohol for a while. You can read the whole story here.

7 Things I Noticed When I Stopped Drinking



1. I sleep better without alcohol.

I never really believed that drinking helped me sleep better even though those rumors were out there, but I didn’t realize how little it took to disrupt my sleep. Even just one glass of wine (ok two, I rarely had just one) would interrupt my sleep.

2. I drank more in social situations because I felt uncomfortable.

As an introvert, attending conferences, parties, and other events made me feel uncomfortable. I’m not shy, but I’m not very outgoing or comfortable in big groups. Drinking helped me to be more extroverted, but that’s not who I am.

I remember feeling relieved at a friend’s wedding a few years ago when they weren’t serving alcohol. I know if they had, I would have indulged to feel more comfortable, been overly social, exchanged phone numbers with people, made plans and then would have woken up regretting those decisions.

3. When I was drinking, I was ignoring my core values which made me feel sad and guilty.

My core values include honesty and authenticity. It’s been important to me over the last decade to connect with my heart, become the real me, and trust myself.

When I was drinking, I could feel the real me slipping away after a few sips. I’d become more outgoing and eventually I’d think or say things that I would never think or say sober. The next day I’d feel bad about what I may have said, not to mention the hangover I was nursing.

P.S. The older I got, the harder the hangover.

4. Other people’s stories inspired me to examine my relationship with alcohol.

Long before I stopped drinking, I read memoirs about people who stopped drinking. Some lost everything before they realized alcohol was the problem and some had less dramatic journeys (like mine). Even though there were differences, there were similarities too.

And because people I admire like Brené Brown, Gretchen Rubin and my sister shared their stories about giving up alcohol for different reasons, I considered it for myself. Sharing our stories; what we know and what we’ve learned helps us and others.

5. People’s reaction to my not drinking says nothing about me.

When people hear I’m not drinking, they are mostly supportive and either curious or defensive. The reactions range from letting me know they’ve questioned their drinking to defending their relationship with alcohol. See the comments here for example.

If you feel defensive, know that I’m not sharing my story because I question your drinking. I’m sharing it because I questioned mine.

While no one has specifically confronted me about why I quit, I can imagine that they may be wondering if I had a problem with alcohol. I did. It wasn’t the hit rock bottom kind of problem but alcohol became a problem for me, one I didn’t want to deal with anymore. What people are thinking isn’t usually based on my relationship with alcohol though, but theirs. It’s just how we work.

6. Maybe it doesn’t matter what you call it.

The reason I didn’t stop drinking ten years ago is because I thought, “If I don’t have a problem, I can keep drinking. If I’m not an alcoholic, I’m good.”

I’d take the quizzes and seem to be in the clear. I’d compare my drinking to people I knew who I thought did have a problem, and my drinking looked ok.

But maybe I was asking the wrong question. Maybe instead of comparing my drinking and asking, “Am I an alcoholic?” I should have been asking, “Is alcohol adding value to my life?” or “Does alcohol make me the best version of me?”

7. Life is simpler without alcohol.

The similarities between simplicity and sobriety are fascinating. Both lead to less decision fatigue, better health, less spending, and deeper connections.

I noticed these things and other benefits listed here
about 100 days after I stopped drinking. That’s when I decided to quit for
good. I didn’t intend to stop drinking permanently but I could not ignore the
benefits. I can’t dismiss how well I sleep, how good I feel, and how much more
free and more me I am without alcohol. And the goodness of life without alcohol
continues to reveal itself.

Am I an alcoholic? I don’t think so but it doesn’t really matter to me. I didn’t need that label to stop, to realize that alcohol did not add value or goodness to my life. Alcohol removed me from my life and I removed alcohol so I can show up for my life.

***

Courtney Carver writes about living and dressing with less at Be More With Less. You can also connect with her on Instagram. Registration for Courtney’s online course, Soulful Simplicity, is currently open.

7 Proven Ways to Break Your Cell Phone Addiction

These cell phone addiction statistics are quite overwhelming:

The typical cell phone user touches his or her phone 2,617 times every day. 2,617 times!Most people, on average, spend 3 hours and 15 minutes on their phones each day.Half of all phone pickups happen within 3 minutes of a previous one.

And the impact of this usage is staggering:

Reducing the quality of conversations. Adversely impacting short-term memory and problem solving.Negatively affecting our sleep patterns.Resulting in more negativity, distress, and less emotional recovery in young children.Increasing obesity.And the positive correlation between smartphone addiction and depression is alarming.

You would think, given the statistics and what we know to be true about cell phone usage, it would be easy to put down and walk away. But I can attest the struggle is real.

As a parent of two who makes his living online in this modern world, I know full-well the addictive nature of mobile devices and how great the internal battle is to harness the benefits of our smartphones without falling prey to its intentionally addictive design.

Nor do I miss the ironic fact that many of you are reading this very article on your phone.

Phones are good and helpful… you are able to read this article right now because of it. But we know all too well they also have the potential to become a negative presence in our life if we allow them.

So how do we keep cell phone usage in proper alignment with our lives? What are some tools or ideas to help us cut down on our cell phone usage?

Here is a list of seven I have used myself or learned from others:

7 Proven Ways to Break Your Cell Phone Addiction



1. Set aside one day/week.

This is, by far, the most common approach I see among people who have taken intentional steps to curb their cell phone habit nowadays. But I credit Tammy Strobel for being the first person I heard talk about it—almost ten years ago. Choose one day each week (usually a Saturday and Sunday) and set your phone aside. That’s it, make a habit of it.

2. Use a 30-Day Experiment to reset your usage.

For me personally, this has been the most helpful way to break my cell phone habit. My cell phone use, when not intentionally limited, tends to take over more and more of my free time. It happens unintentionally and quietly—I don’t even seem to notice it happening.

Seven years ago, I gave up my smartphone for Lent and used it only for calling and texting (no other apps allowed—even maps and photos). It was a 40-day period of reset that helped me align my usage with more important pursuits in life. Since that first experiment, I have used the 30-day reset two additional times—each with great success.

3. Use apps to bolster self-control.

There are apps for almost every problem in life. In fact, there are even some wonderful apps built to help us limit our time on our devices. Here are some of my favorites:

Space. Set goals and track your daily progress to manage your habits.

Forest. ($1.99) Stay focused, be present. Forest is a beautifully designed app that brings gamification to productivity and results in real trees being planted based on your personal phone use habits.

Moment. Through short, daily exercises, Moment helps you use your phone in a healthy way.

Flipd. Lock away distracting apps for complete focus.

Screentime. Set daily usage limits on your phone or specific apps.

4. Don’t charge your phone near your bed.

Want to know the best way to keep your kids off their phones too much? Don’t allow them to charge their phones in their bedroom.

Want to know a great way to keep yourself off your phone? Don’t charge it in your bedroom.

Many of the negative effects of overuse (poor sleep, hindered communication and intimacy) can be eliminated by keeping your cell phone out of your bedroom. As with many of the items on this list, this is a principle I’ve found personally helpful.

5. Put your phone away when you walk in the door.

Christopher Mims writes a weekly technology column for The Wall Street Journal—a job that certainly requires the use of tech on a consistent basis. His simple and proven way to keep life in healthy balance with his cell phone is to put it in a kitchen cabinet at the end of the workday. In his words, “The more you physically remove the phone, the more you can build a habit of having some ability to ignore it when it’s on your person.”

When you finish your day of work, put your phone in a drawer or cabinet. This is a helpful practice for all people, but I think it is especially important if you have kids or a spouse at home in need of our undivided attention.

6. Change your phone settings.

Among the most often suggested ideas for reducing cell phone usage, you find tips and tricks by simply changing the settings on your phone.

The most common suggested ideas:

Turn off notifications Set screen to black-and-white Remove distraction-based apps from your home screen Set a longer passcode Use airplane modeTurn on do not disturb

In my opinion, turning off notifications is something everyone should do regardless of how habitual their cell phone use is. Just because someone in the world wants to text you, email you, or tag you in a post on Facebook doesn’t mean they deserve your attention. My cell phone screen is not currently set to grayscale, but I have found that setting helpful in the past.

7. Put a hairband around your phone.

In one of the most thoughtful personal stories I’ve ever read on how to overcome cell phone addiction, Brad Soroka recommends placing a hairband around your cell phone. When placed in the middle of the phone, the hairband allows users to answer phone calls easily, but makes other uses of the phone more difficult (including simple texting).

In his words, “Every time you want to use your phone, this brings about a mindfulness exercise and makes you ask ‘what is my intention?’ If you really want to use the phone, set your intention for why, and remove the hair band.”

The hairband trick is not about making your phone impossible to use. The practice is about bringing greater mindfulness to each specific use of it… as opposed to mindlessly unlocking your phone every 3 minutes.

When used as a collection of tools to improve my work, health, parenting, and life, cell phones are wonderful and bring countless benefits. But when used mindlessly and unintentionally, they become a distraction from the things in life that matter most—in addition to the negative effects listed above.

Learning how to use our smartphones effectively may be one of the most important life skills any of us can learn.