Joshua Becker's Blog, page 70

Our Money is Only as Valuable as What We Choose to Spend It On

Our money is only as valuable as what we choose to spend it on.

This has been a life-changing realization in my life. It has changed how I see money and how I spend it.

If we choose to buy a big screen television, our money was worth a big screen television. We get to have it in our living room and watch basketball games or play video games on it, but our money will never be worth more than the electronic hanging on our wall.

Similarly, we could use our money to buy a new pair of shoes or wardrobe or a closet organizing system. In that case, our money was worth the fashion we purchased with it… or the designer storage compartments we installed to better store our stuff.

But our money can never be spent on anything else. Once it is spent, it is spent.

Now, let’s say we decide not to buy the large screen television, but take our kids on a weekend vacation instead. It seems to me, in this scenario, we begin to increase the value of our money. We create memories around a shared experience. Or we learn something about a new place or culture or try a new food. We bond as a family and share an experience we will talk about for the rest of our lives.

There is a reason experiential purchases tend to provide more enduring happiness than material purchases. This trip may likely prove to be more valuable to us than an unneeded larger-screen television.

But there’s more. What happens when we begin to use our money to help people or solve problems we see in the world?

How valuable does our money become when we use it to help send a child to school in a developing country or deliver clean water to a village in Africa? What if we helped provide a family for an orphaned child or helped a refugee family get settled in a new country? What if we helped provide job training in our local community or chose to help out the financially struggling young mother in our community?

Our money could be used to help solve an injustice we see in the world—whether it would be an injustice against another person, a group of people, the environment, animals, or any cause we are personally passionate about.

When we begin to use our money in this way, its potential and value begins to increase even more!

What about the child you helped send to school? Who knows what cycle of poverty you may have broken in his/her life and who knows what potential exists there? Who knows what might become of the child you helped place in a family—whether through community orphan care, foster care, or adoption? What might become of the young mother and child you helped put on solid footing, or the man who was trained in a new job skill?

Who knows what life your financial resources were able to change or how the world may turn out differently because of your investment.

Our money can never be worth more than what we choose to spend it on. And there are some things we can buy with it that are more valuable than others.

Once we see that, spending dollars on a bigger-screen television or chasing ever-changing fashion starts to look like a pretty poor investment.

The ABC’s of Minimalism

Minimalism: A – Z

Always be purgin’.

Buy less junk.

Clear surfaces.

Digitize photos.

Experiences over possessions.

Forge your own path.

Give to local charities.

Healthy habits.

Include your family.

Joyful decluttering.

Keep only the best.

Live intentionally.

Make room for what matters.

Never organize what you can discard.

Own less, live more.

Pursue your passions.

Quality over quantity.

Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Shop less, save more.

The best things in life aren’t things.

Uncover your potential.

Value time over money.

Wear a capsule wardrobe.

Xperience contentment.

Your dream home is clutterfree.

Zero regrets!

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

For the last seven years, I have been compiling and publishing curated articles that inspire simplicity in life. At first, it was an exercise in communicating to Becoming Minimalist readers the most popular articles I sent out on Twitter.

But over the years, it has become more than that. It has become a place where people (every other week) come for a dose of inspiration. And it has become a place to promote and encourage writers around the world who are publishing content about minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living.

I think you will enjoy this collection of articles hand-selected for you this weekend. Grab some coffee, tea, or lemonade and be inspired to live a simpler life today:

Are McMansions Making People Unhappy? | The Atlantic by Joe Pinsker. Homes have gotten bigger, but Americans aren’t any more pleased with the extra space.

We Asked Two of our Female Editors to Wear the Same Thing Every Day. Here’s What Happened | Fast Company by Elizabeth Segran. We assume that other people are paying attention to what we are wearing when they are all really more focused on their own lives.

Want to Improve Your Life? Just Learn to Say No | The Guardian by Chloe Brotheridge. We are used to saying yes to please others but it can be harmful not to be more assertive. And imagine what you can do with all that free time.

Smartphones Are Toys First, Tools Second | Raptitude by David Cain. Our phones are in many ways empowering. They are also disempowering.

6 Reasons I Wear The Same Thing Every Day | YouTube

Decluttering is Great. Minimalism is Even Better.

I’m a big fan of decluttering—it’s a word I use often. In fact, the online course I developed to help people own less and live more is called Uncluttered (clearly based on the word: declutter).

“Declutter” is a perfectly-good word in the English language that communicates an important principle. Everybody should remove the clutter from their homes and lives. It will transform your life and you’ll never regret it. No time spent removing clutter is ever wasted.

But I think there is a deeper conversation to be had about the words: decluttering and minimalism. I sometimes use them interchangeably as there is overlap between the two ideas. But they mean different things.

And while decluttering is great, minimalism is even better.

Decluttering is the act of removing clutter from a room, an area, etc. Removing items from our home that we know are no longer needed and are creating crowded messes or confusion.

Minimalism, on the other hand, accomplishes that and takes an additional step. Minimalism removes clutter (however broad you define the term) and it challenges our assumptions of how much we actually need.

Minimalism is about searching for the minimum amount. Or, more accurately stated, it is about finding the optimal amount of any possession in our home and life. It rejects society’s assumptions and prescriptions about the size of our home, the number of clothes in our closet, or the number of toys in our child’s bedroom. It challenges each person to discover the minimum amount needed to accomplish their purpose and goals.

Decluttering focuses on removing surface level possessions. Minimalism helps us discover how little we actually need.

Because of this difference, there are advantages to minimalism:

Minimalism frees up more resources. Because people who pursue minimalism rather than simple decluttering end up owning less, more of our finite resources (time, money, energy) are freed up.

Minimalism helps us reject consumerism. There are WAY too many people who declutter their closets and shelves, only to fill up those spaces again with more purchased clutter. Minimalism helps break the trend of consumerism in our lives more effectively than simple decluttering.

Minimalism teaches us more about ourselves. The act of challenging assumptions in life—regardless of the assumption—always results in self-evaluation. When we begin to search for more items that we can live without (and wrestle with the difficulty of removing more and more), we are forced to journey inward and learn more about ourselves, our motivations, and where our habits came from.

Minimalism benefits more people. Minimalism will always result in removing more things than decluttering. This means more opportunity to meet the needs of others in our community through generosity. Our excess can be a blessing.

Minimalism carves the way for lasting life change. Minimalism forces intentionality. It removes distractions and causes us to align our actions with our values by stripping away the excess in all areas of life. This short-term action results in long-term change for our lives and potential.

Minimalism offers longer-term benefits for our kids and the environment. In greater ways than decluttering, minimalism serves as a powerful example for our kids and offers greater benefit to the world around us.

Let me encourage you. If you need to declutter your life, do it. But don’t stop there. Take an additional step: Become Minimalist. It’s even better.

The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do To Simplify Your Summer

Note: This is a guest post from Elissa Joy Watts of Simplify Magazine.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” —Mary Oliver, excerpt from The Summer Day

What did you long for most from your childhood summers?

For me, it was freedom. Delicious freedom from predictable schooldays. Freedom to lay in the sun, devour ice cream, and float for hours in a turquoise pool.

My summer longings have not changed much. A sun-drenched break from the routine sounds too good to be true, honestly. As a working mom, however, I know poolside paradise will elude me. Instead, the season will welcome busyness.

From where I sit, summer’s two major opponents are sky-high expectations and the pressure to “do it all.” Corporate socials and family get-togethers. Planning a picture-perfect getaway or entertaining kids from dawn ‘til dusk (and then some). Then there’s laundry and groceries and shouts of “who left the screen door open again?!”

The tension is palpable. Often times, our knee-jerk reaction is to purely survive. Sanity, money, rest—these are common sacrifices on the altar called Summer.

But believe it or not, a simpler more satisfying summer is within reach, regardless of our individual situations. The pursuit is straightforward and anyone can start today.

It boils down to pausing before the chaos and tuning into your desires.

—

In his timeless book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey implores us to begin anything with our desired outcome in mind. His commonsense principle yields positive gains regardless of context.

In this case the question is simple: What do you hope to achieve by summer’s end?

Do you want to feel rested?Are you hoping for quality time with family? Are you ready to get ahead on your creative project or invest more in your community?

To enjoy summer and avoid becoming a slave to stress and obligation, this is the one thing to accomplish today before things heat up:

Define your happy ending.

A simple way to pinpoint your happy ending is to choose a word to epitomize that which you seek. The word will serve as a mindfulness cue, sort of like a North Star as you navigate obstacles and opportunities.

For some people, choosing a word is as simple as pouring a tall glass of water. Their spirits are thirsty for peace.

Others wrestle to clear their head and consider possibilities. If you’re in the second camp, here are some worthwhile ideas:

RestPlayCommunityKnowledgeRenewal FamilyCreativity

When a word hangs in the air and calls for a refreshing sigh, you’ve nailed it. If not, think about what’s lacking in your world. What would revive you this season?

The practice of choosing a single word is an increasingly popular alternative to New Year’s resolutions, but I think it’s most effective in the midst of hasty seasons like summer.

Sometimes all one can do to regain clarity is call forth a single word.

The beauty of this practice lies in its ability to distill complex decisions. Once a word becomes a primary focus each day, many affairs take care of themselves, provided we maintain fortitude and navigate life accordingly.

Each and every sunny day will run away from us if we aren’t careful to hold its hand and enjoy its company. What do you desire for your summer? Undue stress? Debt? Broken summer toys and dizzying schedules?

Or would you prefer breathing room and mindful memories? Once you get in touch with your summer longings and capture them in a word, paring down summer is much simpler. The key is to focus on your desired outcome and seek out ways to embody it as much as possible. After all, it’s your wild and precious life.

In the spirit of practicality, allow me to help you on your way. Think about this:

How might you embody your word at home and at work? What will you hold space for? And how will you move through your day in a way that honors summer’s spacious spirit?

Embodiment looks different for everybody but there are some fundamental principles behind this exercise. Temper possibility with reality. Slip inspired moments into the everyday routine. Be intentional with marginal time. And try to avoid heaping more onto your brimming plate.

Here are some ideas to spark your imagination:

Rest

Create a peaceful morning playlist to set the tone for your dayBlock out one afternoon or evening each week to protect life-giving downtimeCommit to eating lunch outdoors alone, away from your computerSet a curfew on your phone to hold yourself accountable to get ample sleep

Play

Create a short bucket list of simple weekend activities and pencil a few in right awayDo the things you loved doing as a kid: flying a kite, water play, bike riding, popsiclesTake advantage of local summer festivalsMake time for board games at home

Community

Plan a low-key bbq with neighborsSet a simple recurring event with a few close friendsShop locally and get to know your neighborhood vendorsInitiate an evening childcare swap with friends

Knowledge

Hit the library and use the early morning sun as reading lightChoose new podcasts to enjoy on your commuteVisit a local museum and chat with the curatorFollow your children’s curiosity and teach them something new

Renewal

Get back to doing something you once loved: a hobby, a book, an activityWork through a cluttered area in your home to clear your space and mindChip away at a lingering household projectPrioritize one or two simple weekly self-care rituals

Family

Initiate a low-key summer weekend traditionIf you’re a parent, give your kid(s) an opportunity to plan one big activity eachMake picnics a thingSet up a tent and vacation in your yard

Creativity

Borrow inspiration in the form of magazines from the libraryPick up a simple new hobbyTake advantage of the extra daylight and get up early to do something you love: writing, drawing, schemingStock up on sidewalk chalk for the kids

The key to making this choose-your-word practice successful is to stay focused as you navigate your days. I’m leaning toward renewal.

Which word will you focus on this summer?

***

Elissa Joy Watts is the Managing Editor of Simplify Magazine, a quarterly, digital publication addressing some of the most pressing needs of the modern family.

Please Stop Buying Plastic Crap for Kids

Note: This is a guest post from Denaye Barahona of Simple Families .

I wrapped up a work trip to Los Angeles and found myself wandering the Santa Monica Pier. As I soaked up the warmth of the day, I found myself missing my kids. The ocean, the sun, the sand… I wanted to share it all with them.

I wanted to bottle it all up and take it home with me.

But alas, the TSA wasn’t going to endorse a jug of salt water and sand in my carry on. Eventually, I found myself standing squarely in front of a kiosk of inexpensive toys. My eye quickly went to a plastic, battery-powered, light-up unicorn headband.

The only thing lighting up brighter than that unicorn horn would be my three-year-old daughter when I put it on her head. She would love that toy.

The joy it would bring to her life would be immeasurable—for at least 18 seconds until she lost interest or it broke. Even though it would have been an extra special treat to surprise her with when I got home, it was a hard pass for me.

Where
does it go?

After that 18-second-window-of-elation, the unicorn will live on. For her early life, she may live on crammed in the bottom of a toy box, then she may meet her demise accidentally dropped in a parking lot never to be seen again. But don’t be fooled, the mythical creature is nearly immortal.

Once it leaves your home it is not gone.

This unicorn will live out a long life at the local landfill with her fellow trinkets (i.e. The Birthday Party Favor Bag and the Dentist Office Treasure Chest). Those plastic trinkets will take more than 500 years to degrade.

Toys are notoriously hard to recycle. That means nearly every plastic toy ever manufactured now lives in a landfill somewhere. Take a moment to visualize that.

Who’s the boss?

Children
cannot be expected to self-regulate the accumulation of stuff. Sure, we can
(and should) teach them about the lifespan of a product and where it will go
after it leaves our home. We can practice thoughtful decision-making practices
when it comes to purchasing goods.

But
just like us, they are a work in progress
and will struggle to resist the urge to keep.it.all.

Ultimately, as the adults with the fully-developed brains and credit cards, we have to be the ones steering the ship. We need to set boundaries around the stuff we bring into our homes. Children learn through modeling. We must learn how to say no so that our children can see us and learn better ways themselves.

Why
does this happen?

I admit
it: I get an internal feeling of excitement when the UPS truck pulls into my
driveway unexpectedly. “Oh, what could it be?”, I find myself excitedly
wondering as I tear into the box like a wild banshee only to find the gummy
vitamins I have on bi-monthly auto-shipment.

“New
stuff” can act as horse blinders. Our children become laser-focused on the
acquisition of new trinkets and unable to see what falls on the periphery: the
real gifts. The relationships in our
lives are the real gifts.

Our
kids cannot see past the stuff. And yes, adults struggle with this too.

What
lights them up?

The strong surge of dopamine associated with new stuff and wrapped gifts will nearly always trump the gentler oxytocin spikes enveloped in a long embrace from Grandma. The Laughter. The Cuddling. The Eye Contact. The Human Touch. If we want our children to focus on the real gifts, we must take off the horse blinders.

Occasional, thoughtful gifts are one thing, but we have to cut back on the constant onslaught of junk.

When I returned home from this trip, my daughter was running to me for a hug and kiss because she loves me and looked forward to my return. I am the gift. Our relationship is the gift. The minute I start stuffing my suitcase full of trinkets is the minute she starts running to my suitcase instead of my arms.

Call me selfish, but I’m not willing to share my affection with a plastic unicorn headband.

If we want children to value relationships over stuff, we have to be intentional about the way we bring it into their lives. The way we buy will teach. I beg you, for the good of your children and this planet, please stop buying plastic crap.

***

Denaye’s new book Simple Happy Parenting is now available. She is the voice behind Simple Families, a podcast, blog and community for parents. She has a Ph.D. in Child Development and has spent her career supporting families to more harmonious lives with young children.

Becoming Minimalist East Coast Book Tour

In July, I will be touring the East Coast, stopping in 6 cities, to celebrate and discuss my newest book, The Minimalist Home.

The book released in December—and this is my first opportunity to get out and hold events with the Becoming Minimalist Community. I look forward to meeting many of you. I’m also excited to have my family along with me for the tour.

Each of the events will provide opportunity for me to connect with you, share my heart behind the book, and answer your questions about anything Becoming Minimalist. There will also be plenty of time for conversation, photos, and signings.

Admission to many of the events is free. And each event will last 75-80 minutes.

Tour Dates.

July 01. Burlington, VT (tickets)

July 03. Boston, MA (tickets)

July 05. New York City, NY (tickets) *Book purchase required.

July 08. Charlotte, NC (tickets)

July 09. Charleston, SC (tickets)

July 15. Miami, FL (tickets)

While not required, your RSVP is helpful as we prepare for each event.

If you live out East, grab a friend and a ticket. We’re going to have a great time and I look forward to meeting many of you for the first time.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

F ill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

There Is Too Much Stuff | The Atlantic by Amanda Mull. The human brain can’t contend with the vastness of online shopping.

The Hot Trend in Smartphones? Not Buying a New One | CNBC by Saheli Roy Choudhury. Flashy new features may not be enough to sway people to trade in their old phones immediately, as long as they’re in good condition.

Seven Ways Minimalism Helps with Creativity | Female First UK by Lucy Moore. Minimalism and creativity can go hand in hand if you allow them to. Here’s why.

12 Simple Living Quotes to Help You Design a Meaningful Life | No Sidebar. Friendly reminder that doing your best does not mean working yourself to the point of a nervous breakdown.

Staying Minimalist is Different Than Becoming Minimalist | YouTube

Simplify Magazine Issue 009: Food + Diet. Today we released the ninth issue of Simplify Magazine: Food + Diet. The digital magazine pulls together experts in various fields to address some of the most pressing needs of the modern family. To celebrate two years, we’re offering a Buy One-Gift One lifetime subscription (all past, present, and future issues) for $20 to all new subscribers this month. Join today.

Stick to Decluttering with The Becker Method

I have recorded a series of videos about minimalism on YouTube.

One of the videos explains the process for becoming minimalist I recommend in The Minimalist Home. It is the exact process I used to minimize the possessions in my home and the process I most often recommend to other people.

If you are looking for a helpful, systematic process to embrace minimalism in your life, here are the steps I recommend:

To watch more videos in the series, subscribe on YouTube.

11 Better Places to Find Pride in Life

Today marks 11 years since choosing to become minimalist.

If you’re new to this site, you should know I didn’t start my life trying to own less. Quite the opposite actually. I chased society’s definition of success in most of the usual ways.

As a result, pay increases resulted in larger homes, with more rooms, filled with more and more stuff. Our income may have been modest, but our spending was not.

My neighbor first introduced me to the word “minimalism” while I was cleaning out my garage. I was frustrated that Saturday morning at how much wasted time and energy (and money) had gone into the project—especially considering all the things I wish I was doing instead.

With that frustration fresh on my mind, when she brought up the idea of intentionally owning less, I was drawn to the possibilities immediately—the life-giving benefits of owning less are not difficult to imagine once you open up your mind to the possibility.

Over the past 11 years, my life has changed dramatically. I typically use this weekend, each year, to reflect on some of the changes that have occurred since choosing minimalism. Here are some of my previous posts:

8 Ways Minimalism has Changed My Perspective

6 Reasons to Embrace Minimalist Living

5 Life-Giving Truths from 5 Years of Living with Less

3 Life-Changing Truths from 3 Years of Minimalism

This year, I find myself reflecting on how my definition of success has changed and where I now find pride in life.

If most of the world is looking for pride in their assets and the square footage of their home, minimalism has prompted me to begin looking elsewhere. Many will consider the pursuit and accumulation of material possessions as a badge of honor. But they are mistaken.

There are better places to find pride than in stockpiles of unnecessary possessions. (tweet that)

Here are 11 Better Places to Find Pride in Life:

1. Owning only what you need. I’m not sure why society has deemed excess possessions a symbol of success. When you really stop to think about the foolishness of spending money, time, and energy on things we don’t need, it’s actually an odd pursuit. Instead, let’s find pride in our ability to discern our actual needs and craft our purchases around them.

2. Living in a smaller home. The average American home has tripled in size in the last 50 years and other nations are not far behind. My family moved into a smaller home 7 years ago and I’d never trade it for something bigger. I’m proud to own only what we need in terms of square footage—you should be too.

3. Contributing to charity. There are countless injustices and needs in this world. From orphan care and poverty to disease, war and oppression. Being generous with our excess dollars by donating to organizations and causes changing the world for good is one of the most honorable (and fulfilling) things we can do with our money.

4. Spending time on things that matter. We all have a limited number of days and hours to live our lives. As Tom Osborne once said, “You can always make more money, but you can never make more time.” To know that we spent our time on things that matter and allocated our energy effectively is among the greatest decisions we can make.

5. Becoming less enamored with money. Money provides for our needs and it is important to provide for our families. But the desire for money, for too many people, has become an unquenchable thirst. The modern definition of success and the American Dream seems to encourage that pursuit. I think it’s important to work hard, but not always for the sake of adding zeroes to our bank account.

6. Being an engaged parent and faithful spouse. Among the highest callings on our life is to be faithful to our vows and healthy consistency in raising the next generation of human beings. If you are keeping both a priority, you ought to find pride in that decision.

7. Finding opportunity to positively inspire others. Legacy is inevitable. In one way or another, your life is going to live on in the memories of those you impacted. If you have lived your days looking for opportunity to give life and make a positive difference, you will leave this world with a legacy you can be proud of.

8. Contributing to a better world. A mentor once told me, “Leave every room nicer than you found it.” He was speaking specifically of campsites, restrooms, or rented facilities. But I have taken his words and tried to apply them to my life in totality—that I would leave this world better than I found it. That my life would be a net positive on the human race.

9. Making the most of your current situation. It is unfair to compare people based on where they end up in life—nobody begins from the same spot. As the old adage goes, “Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.” It’s never fair to assume everybody should be at the same finish line. However, everybody can start where they are, with what they’ve got, and make the most of their current circumstances.

10. Treating others the way you want to be treated. Remaining true to our conscience and character is among the highest of callings on our life. Of course, there are various definitions of morality and some may change from person to person. But the Golden Rule serves as a good measure for all of us. If you’ve spent your life treating others the way you want to be treated, I’d say you’ve got lots to be proud of.

11. Living life true to your calling. Society shifts as often as the wind and the pressure to conform is unrelenting. But there is no pride to be found following the crowd—at least not in any pursuit that distracts from your highest calling. Ralph Waldo Emerson captured the struggle well, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

There are pursuits in life that contribute to pride and life satisfaction. And there are pursuits that do not. Choose the former. Always.