Joshua Becker's Blog, page 69

Photos from The Minimalist Home Tour (East Coast)

In July, my family embarked on a 1,600 mile trek from Burlington, VT to Miami, FL to celebrate the December release of The Minimalist Home.

Along the 16 day journey, I held book signings in six cities and spoke at two conferences—with my wife and kids next to me the entire time.

It was a pleasure to share the story and passion behind my new book. But it was even more wonderful to meet so many of you. Your words and stories are inspiring and encouraging to me. It was a beautiful reminder of why I do what I do.

Unfortunately, not everyone was able to make it to the East Coast for the book tour. If you weren’t able to join us live in person, here is a quick recap.

Essex, VT, July 1.

My journey into minimalism began in Essex and I couldn’t think of a better place to begin the tour. We even stopped at my former neighbor’s house who first introduced me to minimalism and got to spend time catching up.

Special thanks to Essex Alliance Church for hosting our event with over 300 in attendance.

Boston, MA, July 3.

Boston is one of my favorite places in the country. It was a thrill to present minimalism to a packed house on our second night of the tour.

Thank you to Brookline Booksmith for hosting the 115 in attendance. Both the store and the neighborhood were entirely amazing.

New York City, NY, July 5.

When I told my publisher I wanted to hold an event in New York City on Friday of July 4th weekend, they told me I was crazy. But the schedule allowed for only one free night in New York.

I am forever grateful that the iconic Strand Books in Manhattan offered to host the event. With 50 in attendance, it was definitely the most intimate evening of the tour and I loved the vibe.

Charlotte, NC, July 8.

Our Charlotte event kept outgrowing venues. We had to change locations twice as the response to the event continued to gain momentum.

Thank you to Laurie Martin and Simplicity Organizers in Charlotte for partnering with me on the event. And thank you to Sardis Presbyterian Church for offering your sanctuary to fit all 400 of us—the biggest night of the tour.

Charleston, SC, July 9.

Charleston is a beautiful city you could walk for days and not see everything. Rich in history, character, and architecture, to say we enjoyed our time there would be an understatement.

Blue Bicycle Books hosted us for the evening in the picturesque courtyard next to their store. The rain held off and the crowd overflowed up the stairs of adjacent buildings and in every direction. Thank you to everyone who made it possible!

LIFE 2019, July 12.

In Orlando, I presented minimalism to 6,000 high school students as part of the LIFE Conference. Owning less is an important message regardless of age and I’m thankful the organizers invited me back. It was my third time speaking at the conference.

Miami, FL, July 15.

Our tour ended in fabulous Miami. I have spoken there before, but it was the first time for my family to experience the city and unique culture. We enjoyed the food and the beach—but enjoyed the people even more.

One of the finest independent bookstores in the country, Books and Books in Coral Gables, hosted our event. The standing-room only crowd of 175 filled the venue and spilled out into the courtyard. They also laughed the hardest at my jokes—so that was kinda nice.

From my family to yours, whether you were able to make it out for the tour or not, thank you for the support. I get to do what I do because you make it possible.

You can find all of my upcoming speaking engagements, or invite me to speak at your next event, here on My Speaking page.

Speaking of upcoming events, I will be leading a weekend retreat at 1440 Multiversity (outside San Jose, CA) this coming October on Minimalism, Alignment, and Living an Intentional Life. Join us—it is an intimate and intensive retreat. Find the details here.

Minimalism at Seventy

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Linda Sand.

My husband and I followed the traditional path to the
American Dream. As our income increased, so did the size of our home. At one
point, three of us lived in a four-bedroom house with both living room and
family room as well as an amusement room and three baths.

We started out as a young couple with cheap, mostly particle
board furniture. But we added to it. Then we upgraded until we had a house full
of mostly teak furniture of Scandinavian design, supplemented by oak furniture
and barrister bookcases.

It was way more house than we needed, even though it didn’t seem too big at the time.

After our daughter left home, we moved into a few smaller
houses and then we retired. At that point, we decided to move into a motorhome
to facilitate roaming around this great country, seeing the sights and enjoying
their historical significance.

We sold nearly everything we owned including our house and
both cars. The little bit we kept fit into a small 5′ x 5′ storeroom.

And then we traveled the countryside. Gettysburg in July is
hot—I felt sorry for the soldiers who fought there wearing wool uniforms. We
watched people demonstrate things like bread baking by a fire, making ropes, or
building wooden boats—all those things were a fun way to learn about our
country’s history.

We traveled through all of the 48 contiguous states, stopping at museums, National Parks and Monuments, living history sites, and places where we could enjoy nature.

We traveled for several years… until we decided the community we left behind was more important to us that the sights we were seeing. Yes, experiences are a great way to learn and build memories, but relationships need maintenance to be healthy and we’d been neglecting our community for too long.

We sold the motorhome and moved back home—into an apartment
rather than a house. We felt freed from the need to maintain a house and we’d
become used to not having a lot of space.

Somewhere along the way, we’d become used to not having the “best” furniture. So, we thought intentionally about what we actually needed in our new apartment and ordered it from IKEA to be delivered. It was the easiest move we ever made!

A one-bedroom apartment is plenty of room for us and our new furniture is particle board once again. But that works for us. We could live differently, but there’s nothing about our current living situation we want to change. This time, we chose it.

It’s taken a lot of years and we’ve covered a lot of miles, but we’ve come to realize we don’t need much and there are more important things in life than constantly needing to upgrade the size of our home or the quality of our furniture.

Minimalism is a lifestyle that is growing among all age groups—including mine.

I know nobody gets to go back and start life over again. But here are some of the most important lessons I have learned. Maybe someone younger can learn from us:

Housing: The first house we bought was small. Just barely big enough for three of us. As the years went on, like I mentioned, we bought larger and larger houses, and fancier furnishings, and more vehicles as we attempted to reach the American Dream. Now we are retired and living in a small one-bedroom apartment with one small car. And we are happier here than we were in any of those bigger houses. It brings us joy to live with just what we actually use.

Education: Neither my husband or I went to college right out of high school. Eventually, we realized not having a degree was going to limit our career options, so my husband used his GI benefits to go to college. He worked full time and went to school half time for eight years. We saw little of each other during those years, but they led him to a career change into a field where he actually enjoyed working and where he made good money. If he had tried college right after high school, he would not have discovered his career (it wasn’t even a thing yet). Sometimes, postponing your education can be a good thing. There are plenty of non-traditional routes to a fulfilling life.

Finances: We have enough money to live well now, but that was not always the case. Discharged from the army with a three month old baby meant taking a pay cut of nearly fifty percent. We quickly learned we did not need to buy clothes—except for the growing baby… but she didn’t mind her clothes coming from a thrift shop. We learned how to eat well on cheap foods. We learned how to have fun with friends and family without a lot of expense. And, even though we can afford more now, we still have few clothes and prefer cheap entertainment. We do appreciate being able to support public television now after those early years of our daughter watching Sesame Street, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, etc. Being able to give back now in gratitude for all those who gave when we couldn’t is wonderful!

Travel: For many years, we were campers—vacationing in tents, trailers, motorhomes, and conversion vans. We even lived in a motorhome full time for three years as we explored this great country. We took ocean cruises. We traveled through Europe and England. Traveling broadens your perspective. For one thing, you realize there are many ways to live and all of them are right for someone. But, I must say, nothing beats coming back home to friends and family!

Parenting: We raised our daughter to think that different was good and that following the crowd was seldom rewarding. She resented us at times for not being as materialistic as her friends’ families were. But learning to follow her own path led her to a job that is right for her. And now she is happy to have learned to be herself. I’m proud of the lessons she learned—even though they were difficult to teach at times.

So what about you? Who are you really and what would make you happy? Probably not materialism.

Minimalism may help you discover what’s really important to you and how you’d prefer to live your life. And then, it will give you the time and money to do those things.

We’ve learned that to be true in our life—and it can be true in yours as well.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscious decision because it is a countercultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of overconsumption that surrounds us.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

For that reason, I hope you will make an effort this weekend to find a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy some of these hand-picked articles to encourage more simplicity in your life.

The Top 7 Reasons Why People Become Minimalists | Abundant Life with Less by Rachelle Crawford. I questioned real, live minimalists to learn exactly why people become minimalists. Here is what I uncovered…

Men Spend More on Impulse Buys than Women. Here are 6 Ways to Break the Habit | CNBC by Beth Braverman. Women may get the rap as frivolous spenders, but it turns out that men are just as likely as women to make impulse buys—and spend more when they do.

How I Ditched Massive Student Loan Debt: ‘I Just Pretended I Didn’t Have Money’ | USA Today by Bev O’Shea. I wanted to get out of debt almost as soon as I got in. I knew that being in debt limited choices, and that it was temporary.

Minimalism Isn’t All or Nothing | Treehugger by Katherine Martinko. It’s OK to be a partial or ‘selective’ minimalist, if you wish.

6 Steps to Declutter Your Kitchen | Joshua Becker on YouTube.

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Uncluttered. If you’re looking for help trying to keep your resolution to declutter, our 12-week course will help you own less, live more, and discover the life you want. But registrations ends this Sunday, July 14.

Essential Minimalist Living: The 3 Things You Really Need.

Note: This is a guest post by Emma Scheib of Simple Slow & Lovely.

When I first starting reading about minimalism I’ll admit to being overwhelmed. Photos of people living this minimalist lifestyle were trendy. White walls, scandi furniture and not a scatter cushion in sight.

As someone who has preferred to buck trends and fads and do my own thing, I struggled to figure out how this lifestyle would benefit me and what I really needed to do in order to become a minimalist.

I couldn’t understand people who lived in tiny homes. I like big open spaces. And white everywhere? I prefer moody autumn colors in my spaces, they make me feel warm and safe.

Thankfully, I discovered that minimalism is about more than just picture perfect homes with white walls. It was far more than just a type of architecture, décor, or fashion choice. It is a worldview, and despite its recent growth in popularity, it wasn’t a fad.

Minimalism is about clearing the clutter in our homes, calendars, and heads so that we can do the things that light us up and give us purpose.

And no, we don’t have to keep up with the minimalist Jones’s to participate in this way of living.

There are however, a few things I found essential to my minimalist journey:

A Willingness To Do Some Self-Exploration

Like it or not, becoming a minimalist will probably mean working through some emotional baggage. Clearing physical clutter may uncover some feelings that need addressing before you can gain any real traction.

The most common excuse I would give myself for not getting rid of something was because I was afraid I’d need it again in the future. In practical terms this scarcity mindset meant that we held onto silly things like old phone chargers, a really large stock pot that I’d used twice in a decade, my skinny jeans from my 20’s (I can happily admit to giving up that dream!), and many other items ‘just in case.’

The moment I realized that fear was the roadblock to me clearing the clutter it became easier to let go. I didn’t want fear controlling me and holding me back from living the way I wanted. Once I did some self-exploration to shift the fear, I was able to shift the clutter.

An Ability to Fiercely Guard Time 

As I decluttered I discovered that the process wouldn’t be as long as I thought, or others said it might be. I have always been naturally drawn to simple spaces and having less always made sense for me. I remember feeling rather boastful of my clutter-free spaces and the relatively quick time my initial decluttering efforts took.

This was NOT the case with my schedule. I was quick to answer ‘yes’ to any new request for my time, resulting in an overflowing calendar. These ‘yes commitments’ meant I was living under constant duress. I began to feel fearful of the life I was creating for myself. I couldn’t articulate it at the time, but looking back it felt like I was a character in a scary children’s book, on the run from a monster. My own personal ‘busy’ monster.

It didn’t take long before I realized that although that monster was imaginary, the consequences of continuing being so over-scheduled were very real. Something had to give, or break. Thankfully, the concepts of minimalism taught me the importance of saying no and the courage to enforce personal boundaries that I’d never had before.

Now I regularly flex my ‘no muscle’ and don’t feel like I’m running away from a busy life anymore. I make time to do the things that fulfill me, even if that’s simply reading a book on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

Dogged Determination 

Minimalism, while being a current ‘on-trend’ lifestyle choice, is not an easy path. It’s countercultural and there will be obstacles along the way. Someone asked me recently how I’d managed to maintain the decluttering after so many years.

My answer? Grit. And dogged determination. I’m basically like my dog when she gets a chew toy. I’m not letting go for anything. I preserve and I commit to the long haul.

Why? Because minimalism isn’t the choice you make once. It’s a choice you make everyday. Every time my kids bring something home, we have to make a choice. Every time I purchase another item of clothing, I choose which one goes in the bag for charity. I’m determined not to let our home get re-cluttered. Determination helps me sustain a minimalist lifestyle.

And this determination helps when I get questioned about the simpler life I choose to live. Friends and family might not get it. They might question your choice to have only one car or only 4 pairs of shoes. And they might continue to expect more of you. They’ll keep asking you to commit and expect things that you can’t realistically deliver.

You have to be confident in your choice to slow down and simplify so that when you get questions and push-back (it will come, believe me!) you can sit tight, determined to weather the storm.

The truth is, there isn’t much you need to give minimalism a try. You don’t need to paint your walls white and you don’t need to count the number of items in your closet.

With a little determination, self-exploration, and the willingness to say no, you can begin to craft the life you really want.

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Emma Scheib blogs at Simple Slow & Lovely. She is a self-confessed introvert who craves the simple and slow things in life. You can also find her on Facebook.

Reshape Your Reality: An Inspirational Story

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Chris Norton.

“Get up, Norty. Come on, man. Let’s go,” my teammate Josh Patterson said as he stood over me. 

The play was over, the pile had cleared, and the rest of the team was jogging toward our sideline. I told my arms to push off the ground, but nothing happened. Instead, I lay there facedown, motionless. Panic struck all at once as I realized I couldn’t feel my arms or my legs. I couldn’t feel the ground underneath my body. I couldn’t feel anything below my neck.

As it turns out, I dove to make what would be my last football tackle. My head collided with the ball carrier’s thigh, breaking my neck instantly and severely compressing my spinal cord. A helicopter was called immediately to fly me out. In that moment, my life changed forever. 

I’ve learned a lot of lessons since that day, lessons I write about in my book, The Seven Longest Yards. The most important of these lessons to me—the one that truly saved me—was the realization of just how powerful our attitude can be. That with enough effort, a transformation of our attitude has the power to completely reshape our reality.

I always imagined my first helicopter ride would
be a fun experience, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth… it
was just me and two EMTs in the back of a chopper taking off for the nearest
trauma center. 

I couldn’t look around the cabin, much less out the window. Instead, I lay there, immobilized, staring straight up. 

As we were taking off, for the first time since it happened the flood gates in my mind burst open and the thoughts came crashing into me. Will I ever play football again? Will I ever walk again? Will I ever move my hands again?  What kind of woman would ever want to be with a guy who can’t move? Will I be alone for the rest of my life?

Will I ever be happy again?

It was too much. My heart was pounding, my mind racing. Suddenly, I couldn’t get enough air. I tried to take a deep breath, but nothing happened. I began to panic. I tried again for a couple short, rapid breaths—still nothing. I was suffocating. For the first time in my life, I felt that I was going to die.

“Help,” I wheezed, but I couldn’t tell if I had made any noise. 

The roar of the chopper blades drowned out everything. If I couldn’t hear myself, how could the EMTs hear me? “I can’t breathe!” I said, but no one moved. “Help,” I called again, but neither EMT turned towards me. My only hope was to make eye contact with one of them. But both were looking the other way.

Forgetting for a moment the predicament that had gotten me into this mess in the first place, I tried to wave my hands at them to get their attention—they sat like stones cemented to the gurney. Surely the heart monitor will alert them that I’m struggling, I hoped, but I didn’t have much time. 

An overwhelming sense of helplessness overcame me. I was on my own.

It was in that moment, the moment I hovered between life and death 10,000 feet above the border between Minnesota and Iowa, that I made a decision to take back control. I decided to change my attitude and stop viewing myself as the victim of my circumstances.  I thought back to football and the tools I once used to play the game I loved. 

Before every snap, I used to visualize where I would run, where I thought the ball might be, the positions on the field the other players would be in. In just a few seconds, I could take the complexity of a football play and break it down into small, manageable parts. 

I forced from my mind all the other questions that had consumed me moments before. I closed my eyes and visualized my mouth opening, sucking in air, and my lungs filling with oxygen. I imagined my chest rise and fall as the breaths circulated through my body. Then, I counted. One breath. Two breaths. Three breaths. The breaths were small, but they were something.

I began to focus on the air I was able to breathe in, rather than all the air I couldn’t get.

With every positive thought, each breath got a little easier. “I’m going to make it,” I told myself. “I’m going to be fine.” 

From the moment my body hit the ground after the tackle I had focused completely on what I could not do. I couldn’t move; I couldn’t feel; I couldn’t breathe. The obstacles kept getting bigger and bigger until they completely overwhelmed me.

However, my reality began to change when I switched my focus to what I could do. For the first time, I realized that my attitude had the power to transform the world around me. The lesson I learned that day in the helicopter proved invaluable. In the coming years, I would face more than my fair share of obstacles and challenges, no matter how complex or scary they were, I chose to tackle them with the exact same attitude.

Nine years later, I’ve found the answers to the questions that haunted my mind as the chopper was taking off. I’ve made huge strides in my path to mobility, I have a speaking career, I married the love of my life, and we have a beautiful family together. It was never easy, but it started out by forcing myself to only focus on the things I could control at that moment.

It’s easy to see me in my wheelchair and think that I should be miserable. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I owe my happiness to the fact that I’m consistently pointing out to myself the things I have instead of the things I don’t; the things I can do rather than the things I can’t. (tweet that)

I have never allowed my physical paralysis to paralyze my mindset. In fact, some people call me crazy, but being in a wheelchair isn’t so bad. You may not realize it, but there are some major perks!

Seriously, here’s a list of my top 5 perks of being in a wheelchair:

1. No standing in line. Ever. While everybody’s complaining about the wait or
their feet hurting, I’m just chilling. 

2. You don’t feel mosquito bites. I can be at a campfire and have 30 mosquitoes on my legs and I don’t feel a thing.

3. You can never lose a game of musical chairs. I am undefeated since my
injury. My kids get so frustrated they even try pushing me out of my chair
sometimes, but they always end up disqualified.

4. You’re less likely to be kidnapped. Good luck getting me into a getaway vehicle or unless your safe house has an ADA accessible wheelchair ramp, you’ll have a tough time getting me up and down the stairs. It’s just not worth the hassle.

5. You get the best parking. Everywhere I go I have reserved spots in the front row. Unfortunately, in Florida it is really competitive.

It’s natural to focus on what we can’t do, the things we don’t have, or what we’ve lost. However, when we only focus on what’s wrong, we will never see what’s right.

To change your reality, you must choose to transform your attitude—to focus on the positive things you have control over. For many, taking these steps may seem like a daunting task, but I’m here to tell you that often times the first step isn’t a step at all, sometimes it’s as simple as slowing down and taking one deep breath at a time.

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To learn more about Chris’s journey and how life’s lowest moments can be the source of our greatest gifts, check out his book The Seven Longest Yards . It is available everywhere books are sold.

The Uncluttered Course: Own Less. Live More.

“The Uncluttered course is about more than removing clutter. It is about challenging you to live differently.” —Amy Slenker-Smith, Herndon, VA

Uncluttered

Uncluttered is a 12-week online course to help you own less, live more, and discover the life you’ve always wanted.

I started the program in 2016 and over 30,000 people have used it to declutter their home and life. But I offer the course only four times each year. And today, we are launching the July Edition.

If your home is minimized and clutterfree, this is not something you should sign up for. Uncluttered is designed to help people who want to own less and are having trouble getting there.

If you are somebody who wants to finally declutter your home, own less, and live more, registration is open for the next 10 days only—ending July 14.

You can watch a video introduction here. 

The program includes videos, interviews, live webinars, practical articles, weekly challenges, live Q&A’s, accountability, and an engaged community.

Uncluttered will provide just the extra motivation you need to declutter your home and start living a better life. By the end, you will have decluttered every major living area in your home and begun changing your spending and clutterfree habits.

Every Monday, you will receive a video from me, an exclusive interview with one of the brightest minds in the simplicity movement, or written content prepared for the course. You will receive a weekly challenge to complete. And you will be offered significant opportunities to engage with the community in a private Facebook group and with me during live webinars and live question and answer almost every week of the course.

The course offers everything a book or blog post cannot: community, accountability, and opportunity to ask questions.

If you find yourself struggling to declutter, now is the time to gain victory!

To find detailed information about the content and the subjects covered in the Uncluttered Course, click here.

The Results

Over 30,000 people have already completed the course. And the feedback has been unbelievable:

The term life-changing gets thrown around a lot, but this course really is. I went into it with a lot of shame and anxiety. Joshua gently guided us in a way that made lasting change seem possible. My home is much improved, but my mindset is also clearer. —Kathryn Wagner, Los Angeles, CA

Signing up for the Decluttering course was one of the best decisions I’ve made.—Tracy Nowak, Webster, NY

There is a feeling of having shed layers off your life, a strange lightness which brings a new purpose to move forward. —Emer Maria Kielhorn, Ireland

My credit card statement came today. $1,000.00 under my typical monthly balance! Thank you Uncluttered community. I’ve been at this for years; however, it’s clear I truly needed this group to get to that next level. —Cheyanne Morris, St. Paul, MN

The Details

We offer the course only four times each year.

This program begins on Tuesday, July 16. Registration is open now, but ends on Sunday, July 14—so don’t wait if you want to join us.

The cost for the course is $89. But you can find a 25% off discount code in the back of The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life or The More of Less (hardcover and digital formats only). A book not required—but they are helpful and it’s cheaper to buy the book and use the discount code than it is to pay full price—the option is yours.

I am personally involved in every aspect of the course. Helping people live more by owning less is what I am passionate about. I created the videos and the content. I host the webinars. I answer questions in the Facebook group. And I host live video chats over the course of the 12 weeks. My goal is to help and cheer you along.

Participants receive lifetime access to the course. They can take it as many times as they need. And I offer a full refund guarantee if the course is not helpful to you on your journey to own less.

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Uncluttered is a 12-week online course with videos, interviews, webinars, articles, weekly challenges, accountability, and community. It is strategically packaged for one purpose: To help you unclutter your home, own less stuff, and find space to live the life you want.

If you are interested in joining us for the next 3 months, visit My Becoming Minimalist to register. Make this the season you discover the home and life you’ve always wanted!

This Is What Death Cleaning Taught Me About Life

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from John P. Weiss.

When I was thirteen years old, my father suffered a heart attack in front of me and my mother. We were in the living room watching television and he said he didn’t feel well.

Emergency responders were called, followed by several intense hours at the hospital. Thankfully, Dad recovered, but not my boyhood sense of immortality. Life, I quickly learned, can change in an instant.

Fast forward 27 years and I’m holding my father’s hand in a dementia care facility. He is unconscious. The hospice nurse tells me that hearing is often the last sense to go. So I tell my father that I love him. That everyone in our family is fine. That if he’s tired, to rest.

He slipped away peacefully an hour later.

I made all the arrangements for my mother. We held a small memorial for family and friends. We reminisced, laughed, cried, and said our goodbyes.

The next day I drove to my parent’s house. My mother wanted to downsize and move closer to me, my wife, and son.

Dad was a packrat. The garage was filled to the gills, and the rest of the house was equally loaded with a lifetime of possessions. If Dad had met Marie Kondo, he’d have told her that all his stuff brings him joy.

Unfortunately, most of Dad’s stuff didn’t bring me joy. It took weeks of hard work to simplify, declutter, and unload everything. I found a consignment business that took most of the large furniture pieces. I gave away many of Dad’s tools and garage items. There were countless trips to the Goodwill and the local dump.

At the time, I was unfamiliar with minimalism, but the experience left a big impression. I knew I wanted a simpler, less cluttered life.

Don’t leave this burden to them

Margareta Magnusson published a slender book in 2018 titled “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.” Magnusson’s first encounter with death cleaning was when she had to empty her parent’s apartment after the death of her mother.

It’s an enormous task to declutter and organize after the death of a parent or loved one. As Magnusson points out, young families today lead busy lives. She notes:

“Do not ever imagine that anyone will wish—or be able—to schedule time off to take care of what you didn’t bother to take care of yourself. No matter how much they love you, don’t leave this burden to them.”

Death cleaning, Magnusson points out, is as much (or more) for you as for the people who come after. Doing so gives you the chance to find meaning and memory in your things. You’ll also feel a sense of lightness and peace.

If you don’t remember why a possession has meaning or why you kept it, it will be easier to part with. Sentimental items, letters, and photographs are often the hardest to deal with. Fortunately, they can be organized into albums or digitized.

The old barber shop

I went through hundreds of old photos after my father died. I tossed duplicates and pictures of people unfamiliar to my mother and I. The rest were reduced down to one small box, which we plan to digitize into a computer file. It can then be used with a digital photo frame, to enjoy all the pictures as they cycle through.

One of the photos I found in my Dad’s stuff was of the old, vintage barber shop in town where he got his hair cut. Dad used to take me there when I was a kid.

Dad’s barber was named Pat. He was a slender, short man and his small shop was always neat and tidy. Opening the door to his shop, you’d hear the dangling bell as it clanked against the glass.

Inside, there were three of those old barber chairs. You know, the ones with puffy seats, armrests, and those big, metal foot pedals.

Pat had combs suspended in jars filled with mystery blue liquid. There were various electric clippers, hot towels, a small TV (with the game on), and various sports magazines strewn about the waiting area.

After a haircut, Pat would liberally powder your face with a big, soft brush. Then, for the kids, he’d hand out Bazooka Joe bubble gum.

I thought Pat’s barber shop was cool, but I wasn’t old enough to appreciate what my Dad admired most about Pat.

The capacity to enjoy less

Dad once told me that Pat was the most down to earth, authentic, wise, well-adjusted man he knew. Pat loved people and conversation, and his work was the perfect forum for both.

My father was an administrative law judge, and his work was complicated and stressful. In fact, it’s what led to my Dad’s heart attack. Several other judges that Dad worked with suffered heart attacks as well.

Dad admired Pat because he led a simple, uncomplicated life. Even Pat’s home (where my father visited him once to help on a legal matter) was a small, neat, tidy house.

According to my Dad, Pat was far happier than most of the men Dad worked with. Pat had crafted a simple, uncomplicated life.

Despite Dad’s tendency to hoard stuff, he knew simplicity was a virtue. He once told me, “Do we own our things, or do our things own us?”

Perhaps Socrates, who my father admired, said it best:

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”

Roses in our winter

What death cleaning taught me about life is that relationships and experiences are what matter, not the stuff we fill our homes and lives with.

Yes, some possessions enrich our lives, but the sweetest memories come from experiences with loved ones and friends.

As we approach the twilight of our lives, memories become important companions. As the author George Will once wrote:

“Memories are roses in our winter.”

Don’t wait until you are old and tired to simplify your life. The Swedish art of death cleaning is not consigned to the elderly.

We can declutter and embrace minimalism at any age. Doing so will unburden you, allow more time for loved ones, and create an abundance of memories to cherish for a lifetime.

***

John P. Weiss is a fine artist, writer, and retired police chief. He blogs at JohnPWeiss.com about living a more artful life.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Never underestimate the importance of removing stuff you don’t need.

Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work diligently with optimism and promise.

Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.

Each post was intentionally chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

Why Having Fewer Toys is Better for Our Children | Manchester Evening News by Emma Gill. There are many benefits to limiting the number of toys in your house—and it’s not just about making space.

Isn’t It Time to Simplify Your Life? | Further by Brian Clark. It’s certainly not that we’re missing something; we’ve got too much of everything — and it’s not making us happy the way we thought it would.

5 Reasons Why We Hold Onto ‘Stuff’ | Motherhood Uncluttered by Karen Sincerely.

Musings about Minimalism | No Sidebar by Jennifer Tritt. The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.

Too Busy To Declutter? Try This. | YouTube

Get Stupid Quick: Advice On Overthinking From A Zen Master

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Richard Paterson of Think Less and Grow Rich.

“A crowded mind leaves no space for a peaceful heart.” —Christine Evangelou

I’ll never forget a wonderful piece
of advice I received from a Zen meditation teacher many years ago.

“Get stupid quick,” were the profound
words of wisdom he offered.

He explained how the village idiot is
the happiest person in town because he has the least going on between his ears.

If we wish to live a simple,
peace-filled life, it is necessary to free ourselves of clutter, both inner and
outer.

The mind certainly has its uses. It is undoubtedly helpful to remember which house you live in, how to get to work, or how to cross the road safely without getting run over. Not to mention the good we are able to bring into the world with it.

On the other hand, dwelling incessantly on your problems and shortcomings, wallowing in doomsday thoughts about the future, or blowing minor issues out of all proportion, only serves to clutter your inner space and crowd out feelings of peace and calm.

In this way, the mind can be a beautiful servant or a dangerous master, depending on how you use it.

I have spent the last 25 years helping people with busy minds find more inner peace and happiness in their lives.

Here are 9 tips to help you kick the overthinking habit:

1. Become consciously aware. Most of our overthinking happens on autopilot. The
first step to freeing yourself is to notice when you are doing it. When you
catch yourself fretting about the future or agonizing over a simple decision,
stop for a moment, take a breath and gently acknowledge, “OK. This is what is
happening just now.” Bringing your thought patterns into the light of awareness
is an important first step.

2. Drop your resistance. The more you resist and fight the mind, the more
overwhelming and all-consuming it becomes. Resistance creates more ammunition for
the overthinking mind. If your patterns are there anyway, it is better to work
with them than struggle against them. Step back and watch them objectively,
with an attitude of non-judgemental acceptance. The less you resist, the more
peace you will experience.

3. Question the mind. Take everything the mind tells you with a large grain
of salt. Before you become enmeshed in an apocalyptic mind-movie where you get
fired, lose your house and become destitute, all because you missed a deadline
at work, acknowledge that you are probably painting an overly pessimistic
picture. A great question that will put an end to 90% of your overthinking is,
“Do I know for certain that this is true?” You’ll find the answer is almost
always no. And you won’t overthink what you know to be untrue.

4.
Keep things in perspective. What kind of
things upset you and trigger overthinking? Being stuck in traffic? Being
treated unfairly? Not getting your way about something?

Consider how important these things are in the bigger picture. Is it the end of the world if somebody said something mean about you? Is it really worth sacrificing today’s peace over it? Ask yourself: “Will this matter 5 years from now?” Or even 5 days from now?

5. Make time-limited decisions. Being indecisive by nature, decision-making has always been an area where I can easily get sucked into overthinking. When you take too long to make a decision, you can think yourself into a state of analysis paralysis. I now have some simple rules I try to follow. For small decisions, such as where to go for dinner or which movie to watch, I give myself 30 seconds or less to decide. For bigger decisions, the time limit is one hour. The trick is to then stick with what you decide.

6. Focus on the present moment. A quick and simple way to stop overthinking in its
tracks is to gently shift your attention to the here and now. Engage the
senses. Feel the weight of your body on the chair, notice the warmth in the
palms of your hands, feel the sensation of your feet touching the floor. What
sounds can you hear around you right now? What happens to your thinking mind
when your attention is fully present in the moment?

7. Show the mind who’s boss. Overthinking is a bit like
binging on Netflix. You find yourself unconsciously gravitating over and over
to the same old channels—the ‘worry’ channel, the ‘self-doubt’ channel or the
‘wanting to control everything’ channel. But the truth is, you are the one holding
the remote control. If you decide right now to hit the ‘stop thinking’ button,
the mind has to comply. The next time you catch yourself mid-episode in a
replay of “The 101 Ways That My Life Sucks,” tell the mind, “Enough! We are
going to change the topic now.” You’re the one in charge.

8. Consciously distract yourself. When you catch
yourself overthinking, it’s a good idea to get up and move. Go for a walk or a
run. Do some yoga. Moving will not only shift your mindset but also help
release any pent up tension and emotion caused by overthinking. Lose yourself
in a project—learn to play guitar, learn a language or, best of all, learn to
meditate. This will give you the skills you need to kick your overthinking
habit for good.

9. Practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness is a wonderful tool to help you stop
overthinking and create a more harmonious relationship with the mind—and with
yourself. It teaches us to embrace our thoughts, positive and negative, with an
attitude of non-judgemental acceptance and to develop an intimate relationship
with the present moment, where the natural state of peace is to be found.

“You know, it is a little known fact that thinking is entirely overrated. The world would be a much better place if we all did a lot less of it.” ―Laurie Viera Rigler

***

Richard Paterson blogs at Think Less and Grow Rich, a site dedicated to helping you break free from the clutches of an overactive mind to experience more joy, peace and well-being in your life. He is also the author of Kick the Thinking Habit.

How This Family of 7 Became Minimalist and Got Rid of 50% of Their Stuff

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Kalen Bruce of Freedom Sprout .

We didn’t begin as a minimalist family. Few families do. There’s typically an awakening, or a moment when you realize your possessions are controlling your life.

It happens when you realize you’re sacrificing time with your family for a higher paying job, because you want to provide them with a good life. And yet, you’re sacrificing those hours with family so you can provide them with a bigger house and a nicer car… that you rarely all enjoy together.

Minimalism helps us re-prioritize what’s important, and it forces us to ask deep questions we likely never asked when we first started our family or career. (tweet that)

I’m not trying to make this sound weird by using words like “awakening,” but the deep questions make us uncomfortable and the answers cause radical change in our lives.

It’s always easier to not change, but there’s always something we could change to make our lives better.

Take my story for example:

We are a large family on a journey to become a minimalist family. I hope our story will be insightful for you, whether you consider your family a minimalist family or not. It is possible to own fewer things even if you have a bunch of kids. Just ask Leo Babauta.

My wife and I got married in 2005. We had our first child almost immediately. We spent the next few years accumulating more stuff than anyone should ever own (sound familiar?).

Between family and friends, six different people
lived with us at one point or another over our first few married years. Every
time one of those people moved out, they left some (often a lot) of their stuff
behind. Once we were sure they either didn’t want it, or didn’t plan to come
pick it up, we’d move it into the shed behind our house.

It wasn’t long before we forgot which things were actually our things and which things were left by others.

This continued until we moved out of state. With my wife’s full support, we decided to fulfill my dream of joining the United States Air Force. The only problem was that we had to pay off $24k in consumer debt to do so. I also had to lose 50lbs, but the financial part proved to be more difficult.

We decided to rent out our 2,400 sq ft home for more income. We put our life into a storage unit and moved into a 600 sq ft mobile home. But ironically, this isn’t when we decided to become minimalist. Not yet. We spent the next two years working insane hours, paying off all our debt.

After two years, we were free of all consumer debt, but still full of consumer things. Remember that storage unit?

The Air Force eventually took us from Arkansas to Oklahoma… with all 9,000lbs of our stuff! Our lives changed a lot over the next few years. We made the decision to adopt two children (a sibling group), and as life would have it, immediately upon adopting, my wife was pregnant. We went from a family of three to a family of six in one year. That’s when we got military orders to Italy.

The fact that we brought 12,000lbs of stuff to Italy was definitely the first sign we needed to downsize, but the main sign came a few months into living there. Italian homes don’t exactly have a ton of storage. Europeans in general don’t keep as much junk as Americans do, so the homes aren’t always ready for us Americans.

And as life would have it, again, we realized my wife was pregnant immediately upon arriving in Italy. We were excited, and happy to welcome another child into our home, but I can’t lie, it was stressful.

I was stationed at one of the busiest jet
fighter bases in the world, and I’m a War Planner, so I was working early
mornings and late nights. As our family grew, we started to acquire more things
and less time.

We wanted to travel Europe, and show the world to our kids, but it seemed like we were spending more time on the weekends sorting through our stuff than playing with our kids. That’s when we decided to embark on the minimalist journey and begin intentionally removing all the things we did not need.

Since we started minimizing, we’ve progressively
cared less and less about stuff, and more about life experiences. We’re
teaching these ideas to our kids, and now they care more about traveling, and
spending time together, than they do about owning more toys and things. Our
kids understand that we are able to take mini vacations all over the world, because we care more about experiences
than things.

For us, the worst part about minimizing is the amount of work involved in it. Regardless of how you do it, it takes work and time. The good news is that, in the end, you’ll have so much more time. We began to understand that no time spent minimizing possessions is ever wasted.

We ran into some obstacles. Living in Italy is amazing in so many ways, but it’s not so amazing when it comes to options for donating things. This has made our journey more difficult. Thrift stores aren’t common in Italy, and sometimes it costs money to give your things away. There’s no service that comes and picks up your donations. It takes work to get rid of stuff in Italy.

Minimalism hasn’t been easy for us, but we have learned a lot about how to make it easier. Here are some key lessons we’ve learned:

1. Don’t think too much into where your stuff goes. We’ve donated things to church, charities, clothing donation bins, and free-sales (like a yard sale, but free). We’ve also sold some of our stuff. But what we’ve realized is that it really doesn’t matter how you get rid of your stuff, just get rid of it. You won’t spend sleepless nights worrying about whether you gave it to the right person, but you will sleep better with less stuff.

2. Make minimizing a family effort. Not only will you be spending your weekends together when you minimize together, but your kids will see how you don’t overvalue material items when you’re freely giving so much away. It will help your kids break the hoarding mentality, and it gets them into the habit of giving. It will also show them that they never want to have that much stuff in their life.

3. Don’t focus on appearance, focus on letting go. When we started our minimalism journey, we had an image of a clean slate of a house in our minds. We envisioned the pictures in modern magazines where there’s only five things in the entire living room. Don’t focus on that. The visual piece will come. Focus first on letting go of things. It doesn’t matter if your house looks like a minimalist’s home, as long as you have a minimalist’s mindset.

4. Pay attention to what’s coming in. You don’t want to get rid of 1,000 things only to realize you’ve brought 2,000 into your home. When we first started downsizing, we didn’t keep track of the things we kept bringing in, and it showed. Minimalism is all about intentional ownership. It’s more about what you buy, than what you get rid of. Keep an eye on both.

5. Ride the motivation wave. We discovered that motivation occurs in the beginning, but initial motivation doesn’t always last. More often, motivation follows action. Start minimizing, and the motivation will come as you see your progress. Dr. B.J. Fogg, founder of the “Tiny Habits” movement, refers to this as a motivation wave.

Becoming minimalist is a journey. It’s typically a slow journey, and that’s especially true for a large family.

I suggest a journey of becoming minimalist,
rather than some attempt at instant minimalism. The latter has the same vibe as
our modern, instant-gratification-driven culture. If you haven’t started yet,
start a slow journey today. If you have started, keep moving forward at a
reasonable pace. Minimalism is not a race.

***

Kalen Bruce is the founder of Freedom Sprout where he helps parents raise money-smart, non-materialistic kids.