Laura Roberts's Blog, page 79

P is for Pillows

Though some people may prefer their sexual acrobatics outside of the bedroom, I’m pretty sure most of us enjoy the intimacy and comforts of going to bed when it comes to a night of romance.

And when it comes to having a comfortable bed, pillows are key.

Are pillows really sex toys?

If we’re talking about the Liberator line of products, then I would emphatically say yes. After all, these pillows are meant specifically to help enhance your sex life, by making it easier to play with your lover.

The most popular Liberator pillow is the Wedge:

This little pillow packs a punch, as it offers support for a variety of sexual positions, including missionary, anal and oral. It can even help you find the elusive G Spot. What’s not to love?

In addition to the Tim Ferriss-approved Wedge, the company also offers a wide variety of sex-friendly shapes, including the Ramp (a larger version of the Wedge), Jaz (a travel-sized Wedge), Whirl (a firmer version of those rounded bolster pillows), Scoop (made for both rocking on top of it, or elongating the spine) and many more. Hell, they even have furniture like this bed-replacing Zeppelin for the truly adventurous.

Basically, you are going to want to start collecting a ton of Liberator pillows to, um, liberate your sex life.

Have you ever tried using pillows to improve your sex life?

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O is for Oral Sex Toys

Ora is a toy by Lelo that is meant to simulate oral sex. It looks like this:

Based on reviews I’ve read for this product, it doesn’t sound like it is terribly effective at its stated intent, and looking at images of the toy, I can’t even tell where the supposed movements that would simulate oral sex are coming from.

There are, however, other oral sex toys out there, including the Sqweel Go:

It’s pretty obvious from the image above that these little silicone “tongues” rotate to mimic the licking sensation of oral sex. Some reviewers say it’s a pretty realistic impression of oral sex, while others totally disagree and say that the spinning motion is too easily stopped when attempting to use the toy.

So it looks like oral sex toy research still needs to be done to create a better simulation. Can we put some of those Dyson engineers to work on this? I mean, they’ve already revolutionized vacuuming and fans — the “suck” and “blow,” so to speak. Seems like improving oral sex would be right up their alley, am I right?

If you prefer to forego the toys and round up a human partner for some oral sex instead, I’d recommend Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Oral Sex: Fellatio for further instruction on how to give great head. Or, for those who prefer a little light reading, I’ve written a very brief guide of my own called How to Suck Better.

As far as cunnilingus advice goes, while I hate to link to VICE, they do have a guide that offers a pretty damn thorough (and sexual pun-laden) plan of attack for anyone who’s completely clueless.

Have you found any particularly effective oral sex toys, or is this just an arena destined for failure?

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N is for Nipple Toys

You learn something new every day.

Although I had heard of penis pumps, it had never occurred to me that someone might have also invented a clit pump.

Well guess what?

This pump and cylinder kit is essentially like applying a vacuum hose to your junk — or your nipples, which is why I mention it today.

N is for nipple toys.

Babeland’s description suggests this is a great toy for enhancing sensitivity in your various bits, and includes a how-to for pumping both clits and cocks.

In addition to using a pump for nipple play, a more commonly known toy is the nipple clamp:

These Tweezer Clamps are adjustable, and have rubber tips, unlike your garden variety clothespins (a good DIY makeshift solution, but not nearly as adjustable). If you like having your nipples pinched, these are a great investment, as you can increase or decrease the pressure as you like.

Alternatively, if you prefer to wear your nipple clamps out and about, there’s the Nipple Tassel:

These lie flat against your breast (or, well, as flat as anything can lie against a curved surface, anyway), and can be worn beneath your clothing for a pinching sensation while you’re out in public. Sneakily sexy, no?

And finally, for those who just can’t get enough, there’s Nipplettes Vibrating Clamps:

As you can probably guess, these are nipple clamps that vibrate. They’re not meant to be as tight a pinch as non-vibrating clamps, but they offer a different sensation, buzzing away on your chest.

Naughty nipples, need I say more?

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M is for Magic Wand

Described by most sexperts as “the Cadillac of vibrators,” the Magic Wand is the most hardcore, heavy duty sex toy you will ever meet. It looks like this:

Some people (like me) use it for its originally intended purpose: it’s a vibrating massager that works great on sore muscles, particularly if applied by a partner to an aching back.

Others, however, use it for much more nefarious purposes.

Personally, I can’t imagine using the Magic Wand to achieve orgasm. As sex toys go, this is a seriously blunt instrument. For power, it plugs into the wall, which should tell you something right there. It has only two speeds: high and higher (or 5,000 and 6,000 rpm, respectively), and both are far too rambuctious for my taste. As you can see, the head of the wand is about the size of a tennis ball (and similarly shaped), so it’s really not meant for penetration.

But despite all of that, the Magic Wand is incredibly popular! You can buy attachments like the Gee Whiz (below) if you do want to use it for penetration:

And you can even buy a separate controller to give it more variable speeds. But my feeling is that if you’re paying $55 for a vibrator, it ought to already include all of these bells and whistles.

To me, the Magic Wand is a jackhammer. It works great for massaging sore muscles, but when applied to your clit, it’s just way too much.

So, not to disparage this toy, but it’s just not my cup of tea. Other ladies who have less sensitive bits and do need that extra power may disagree. Personally, I’ll stick with toys that are a bit more low-speed — and that run on rechargeable batteries instead of plugging into distant outlets.

Speaking of which, if you do like the Magic Wand but would prefer a rechargeable and waterproof version, Lelo makes an alternative called the Smart Wand:

At $129 it’s a bit more pricey than the original, but if you like that heavy duty power, this could prove to be your favorite toy.

What say you? Is the Magic Wand better as a sex toy or a massager?

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L is for Lube

One of the most important sex toy accompaniments is Lube. The goal is, of course, to increase moisture in any orifices being penetrated by your toys, decreasing friction and increasing pleasurable sensations. Indeed, a 2010 study came to the rather obvious conclusion that women who use lube tend to enjoy sex more. Imagine that!

But which kind of lube is the best?

Ultimately, this really comes down to personal preferences, along with some precautions concerning the way your lube will interact with your toys. Silicone lube should never be used with silicone toys, for instance, whereas oil-based lubes don’t mix with latex condoms. Some people may also find they have allergic reactions to different types of lubricants.

There are a ton of lubes out there, from those that are most readily available at your neighborhood pharmacy (your usual suspects Astroglide, KY, Trojan, etc.) to more “designer” lubricants available at sex shops and online retailers.

Sex educator Carol Queen recommends using several different kinds of lube for different types of play. Over at SheKnows, you can check out her recommendations for silicone, water and oil based lubes, as well as cream lubes that work best for hand jobs.

If you’re not sure what you’re looking for, Babeland offers a handy lube sampler pack:

For $6 you get to try out 6 of their bestselling lubes, including Entice by Babeland, Sliquid Swirl Green Apple, BabeLube, Liquid Silk, Maximus and Sliquid Silver Silicone Lube.

Finally, if you’re into edibles, you may want to give coconut oil a try. It smells and tastes great, and may provoke a Pavlovian sexual response in your lover anytime you cook Indian food!

Have you got a go-to lube, or are you still experimenting?

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K is for Kama Sutra and Kegels

So many sex toys, so little time!

Today I’m giving you two options, as my J post was late going up yesterday.

Option the First: K is for Kegels

If you are currently asking “What the heck is a kegel?”, you are either:

Male, or
Desperately in need of a kegel exerciser

In case of the former, skip down to Option the Second below. If you fall into the latter category, however, now is your chance to learn more about the mysterious vagina.

Kegel exercises are meant to strengthen the pelvic floor, which is useful for pretty much everything located in your lower body. Even the Mayo Clinic has a page on Kegel exercise, citing it as a beneficial way to help keep your uterus, bladder, small intestine and rectum healthy.

If you’ve ever had a baby, Kegel exercises are likely well known to you, as most doctors recommend them to women after childbirth. But all women should be doing Kegel exercises, especially as we get older, just to keep everything firm and tight and continent. The good news is that you can do them without any special devices, by tightening your muscles and relaxing them in 3 sets of 10 per day. But, just like any strength training, some industrious entrepreneurs have also invented “weights” for working your Kegel muscles. They look like this:

If you are currently thinking, “Hey, those look a lot like anal beads!”, you would be correct. (Also, thank you for sticking with my Sex Toys from A to Z theme!) Kegel exercises frequently come in “bead” form, though they are slightly larger than anal beads, since the vagina obviously offers much more room to play in than the anus. The Luna Beads pictured above also double as Ben Wa balls, which are inserted into the vagina, sans string, to roll around creating internal stimulation.

You can also find Kegel exercisers that more closely resemble a barbell, such as this one:

This stainless steel version doubles as both an anal and G spot dildo, in addition to its Kegel exercising ability. (Pro tip: Remember to clean your toys after all activities that involve anal penetration to avoid transferring fecal matter to the vagina.) At 2.75 pounds, you’ll probably want to work up to the Njoy Eleven as you build your Kegel muscles.

Finally, if you’re the type who needs an app for everything, check out the Sex with Emily Kegel Camp app for daily workout reminders. It’s only $1.99 in the iTunes store, and will walk you through a variety of Kegel exercises, in addition to pinging you daily so that you stick with the program and get those muscles in shape.

Option the Second: K is for Kama Sutra

If you’re already a Kegel exercising superstar, K is also for Kama Sutra. Though the original Sanskrit text is a bit of a snore these days, there are plenty of modern versions that cut to the chase with a variety of positions to try, and plenty of sex tips for those looking to spice up their bedroom activities.

There’s even a board game inspired by the Kama Sutra. And, for those who are more technologically inclined, there are plenty of sex game apps that owe their existence to the original sex manual. I’m actually writing a guide to the best sex apps currently available, and some of these are Kama Sutra-esque dice games, spinner games, and sexy takes on Truth or Dare. But that’s another post for another day!

For those looking for new positions to try, Nerve’s Position of the Day Playbook is a funny take on the Kama Sutra’s classics. While many of the 366 positions may seem identical, it’s really the names that make these absurdly acrobatic contortions sizzle.

And, if you prefer your positions delivered digitally, there’s an app for that! The best one I’ve found so far is the Cosmopolitan’s Sex Position of the Day app, available in both the iTunes and Google Play stores. For just $2.99 you get instructions and drawings to help you work your way through the good book.

So, do you dare get kinky with the Kama Sutra, or are you Kegeling as we speak?

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J is for Jimmyjane

I must admit, I have a bit of a lady boner for Jimmyjane.

See, the company prides itself on making top of the line sex toys, taking perennial favorites like the Rabbit, the Magic Wand, and so forth and creating the best versions of these toys money can buy.

And you’ll definitely need to have that money, honey, ’cause these toys ain’t cheap!

Case in point: the Jimmyjane Little Gold vibrator is $325. The Eternity model, encrusted with diamonds, is $2,750.

Does your vagina really need a gold, diamond-encrusted vibrator? Maybe not. But if I’ve learned anything from my days as a flautist in my high school band, it’s that gold warms up quicker than other, cheaper metals. Therefore maybe you really do need a 24k gold sex toy. After all, who wants freezing cold metal in their va-jay-jay?

Playing with sex toys should not resemble a gynecological exam, so please warm your metal vibrators before insertion, folks.

Now, if you’re not made of money, you can still find some great stuff in Jimmyjane’s toy box. For instance, their Iconic collection offers both a vibrating cock ring and a bullet vibrator that are some of the best in the biz.

They also produce a Forms series that have brought some innovative and erogenous designs to the bedroom. Here’s Form 3, for instance:

In short, this is a sex toy company from which you’ll truly want to collect them all!

What’s your favorite Jimmyjane product, and would you ever spend $2,750 on a sex toy?

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I is for Ina by Lelo

Ina is a sex toy made by the brand Lelo. It looks like this:

 

A dual-action vibrator, the Ina uses two different motors to help bring you to orgasm. With both G Spot penetration and clit massaging capabilities, this toy is very similar to the bestselling Rabbit Habit toy – which you may remember from a certain episode of Sex and the City.

Ina is better than the Rabbit, however, because it’s both rechargeable and 100% waterproof. Could this toy be the Magic Wand of the 21st century?

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H is for Harness

Although I have had occasion to model a few harnesses in my lifetime, I haven’t actually used one in the bedroom yet. Therefore, I must defer to the wisdom of my sex writer pal, Queerie Bradshaw (aka Lauren Marie Fleming), who has written an entire instructional ebook on the subject — which you can download for free from Frisky Feminist Press here.

Take it away, Lauren:

When I strapped it on for the first time, I felt like a pubescent boy, wanting to stick my cock in everything. That feeling has never gone away. I still find myself fully aroused by simply putting on a harness, and completely insatiable when my partner is wearing one.

As you may recall from my D is for Dildos post, I noted that my “Dick for a Day” fantasies would definitely involve sex. Lauren echoes this sentiment a bit in her harness guide, suggesting that women – and even men – can enjoy harnesses because they essentially give you that cock to play with. Better yet, you don’t have to give it back after just one day!

She also adds that, like most pubescent boys, she had to learn how to use this new cock in order to play with a partner. She recommends watching feminist porn and instructional videos in order to get a feel your harness. Here’s a link one of her recommended videos at Smitten Kitten, in case you’re curious.

As far as picking our your first harness, one of Lauren’s recommendations is Babeland’s Sasha Harness:

As you can see, this harness more closely resembles a cute pair of panties than a complex tangle of leather straps, which makes it quite easy to slip on and off.

If, in fact, you are looking for something a little more complex, and that provides easier access to your own body than the Sasha model, you may be interested in Aslan’s Jaguar Harness:

This style is perhaps the more typical kind of harness people envision when it comes to using dildos, and it’s also one of Lauren’s recommended harnesses.

Whether you’re interested in strapping it on for the feeling of power that comes with a cock, or you’d like to try something new in the bedroom, I highly recommend paging through Lauren’s guide. It’s a great way to learn more about harnesses and the people who use them, and you may be surprised to find yourself curious enough to take the plunge.

So, what do you think? Wanna strap yourself into a harness for a while?

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G is for G Spot Vibrators

Many people think that the G Spot is either a fictional entity made up by the media, or else a completely elusive and frustrating to locate part of the mysterious female anatomy. Happily, neither is true! The G Spot is fairly easy to find, once you know what you’re looking for, and guess what? All women have one. Yes, that’s right: the G Spot is real, and it’s a pure pleasure zone for women.

So how can you figure out where yours is and how to stimulate it?

As sex educator and G Spot expert Deborah Sundahl describes it, the G Spot is the “female prostate,” and it’s located “on the roof of the vagina, surrounding the urethral canal.” In this video interview, she explains how to find your G Spot using your fingers:

If you need additional instruction, Deborah has also written an entire book devoted to the G Spot and female ejacuation, including both history and instructional tips, called Female Ejaculation and the G Spot. She also regularly teaches workshops on the subject, for those who like to ask questions in person.

Now, if you’ve already found your G Spot and want to bring a special G Spot toy into the mix, here’s what the world’s bestselling G spot toy, Gigi 2 by Lelo, looks like:

 

This toy is made of silicone, so it’s gentler on the G Spot than hard plastic toys or wands, and it’s also 100% waterproof if you like to experiment in the bath. With a rechargeable battery that lasts up to 2 hours and 8 different patterns of vibration, this is one of the best toys you can buy for G Spot play.

Have you found your G Spot yet? If not, what’s stopping you?

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