Rob Smyth's Blog, page 199

England v New Zealand – as it happened | Rob Smyth

Charlotte Edwards' side eased into Sunday's final with a comfortable seven-wicket victory over New Zealand

Preamble Morning. This is, I think, our first ever women's cricket OBO, and we're only about a decade too late. Fashionably late. England have been brilliant for years now, managing the kind of sustained success usually beyond British sporting teams. They won the World Cup and the World T20 in 2009, held the Ashes from 2005 to 2010 and are big favourites to win this tournament after a staggering run of 29 wins in 31 games. Who says 20-over cricket is a lottery?

They should beat New Zealand today, although it's no formality; if they do they will face West Indies or, more probably, Australia in the final on Sunday. They beat Australia in a dead rubber during the group stages, thanks mainly to a stunning innings from the little genius Sarah Taylor. She is the brightest star in a team full of them.

England have won the toss and will bowl first. That's slightly counter-intuitive, given that England use their spinners to strangle teams, but the approach has served them extremely well in this tournament so far.

England Edwards (c), Marsh, Taylor (wk), Greenway, Brindle, Wyatt, Gunn, Brunt, Hazell, Colvin, Shrubsole.

New Zealand Bates (c), Satterthwaite, Devine, Mackay, McGlashan, Browne, Martin (wk), Bermingham, Doolan, Nielsen, Ruck.

It's a sweltering day in Colombo – "stinking hot" says Nasser Hussain on Sky – and the pitch is, as you'd expect, a dry turner.

For the first time since Boxing Day 2010 (can anyone remember what happened then? I've forgotten) I'm doing this OBO from home. It's important to stress that, if there are no updates for 10 minutes, we are having technical problems and I emphatically have not fallen asleep in a droolpool on the sofa.

WICKET! New Zealand 0-1 (Bates run out 0) The New Zealand captain Suzie Bates is run out for a duck! She was getting twitchy after four dot balls from Katherine Brunt, and set off for a ludicrous single after a push into the covers. Amy Satterthwaite was having none of it – not interested! – and sent her back. Bates was miles short when Lydia Greenway threw in for Sarah Taylor to break the stumps. That's a huge breakthrough for England because Bates is probably New Zealand's most dangerous batsman.

1st over: New Zealand 0-1 (Satterthwaite 0, Devine 0) This, it's fair to say, has been a good start for England.

2nd over: New Zealand 4-1 (Satterthwaite 3, Devine 1) The offspinner Danni Hazell shares the new ball. Satterthwaite pulls New Zealand's first run off the 10th delivery and then clouts a slog-sweep just short of Greenway at deep midwicket.

3rd over: New Zealand 7-1 (Satterthwaite 4, Devine 3) Brunt is one of world cricket's feistier new-ball bowlers, and she's tearing in here. There's a bit of swing too and her last delivery curves sweetly past Satterthwaite's booming drive. Still no boundaries for New Zealand.

"Is Sarah Taylor good enough to play in the County Championship?" wonders Sam Silverwood-Cope. "Would rules also allow it? If so would this be a good thing for women's cricket? I'd personally love to see it. Have a good day. Plus happy birthday to my twin brother Tom." I suspect she is, although it's hard to judge these things. I'm pretty sure Selve thinks she is good enough. I doubt the regulations allow it, though I don't actually know. You're welcome!

4th over: New Zealand 12-1 (Satterthwaite 5, Devine 7) It's a like-for-like bowling change: offspinner for offspinner, Danni for Danni. This time it's Danni Wyatt. Sophie Devine rocks back to cut three through the covers and then fails to take advantage of a filthy full toss. Satterthwaite then survives a huge appeal for LBW; I don't think it straightened quite enough to the left-hander, although it was a very decent shout. Hawkeye showed it was just clipping the outside of leg stump, so you can't really argue with Marais Erasmus's decision. New Zealand are already under pressure here.

5th over: New Zealand 16-1 (Satterthwaite 5, Devine 11) Devine edges Brunt low for four, New Zealand's first boundary. Brunt responds by ripping a short ball past Devine's attempted pull and spearing in an excellent yorker that is dug out. Outstanding bowling from Brunt; just four from the over, and they came off the edge.

"What's the pitch like today?" asks Indy Neogy. "Any thoughts what would be a good score from the England bowlers point of view?" It looks a good pitch, if a little slow and low. I don't think they would be too perturbed about chasing anything under 140. The only concern for England is that – as with the Australia Men's team the other day – the middle order hasn't had much of a hit because of the excellence of the top three.

WICKET! New Zealand 17-2 (Devine c Brunt b Wyatt 11) Another one down. Devine slog-sweeps Wyatt straight to deep midwicket, where Brunt takes a calm low catch and celebrates by striking a Usain Bolt pose.

6th over: New Zealand 22-2 (Satterthwaite 10, Mackay 0) Wyatt is teasing the batsmen by tossing it up, and Satterthwaite is beaten in the flight as she attempts a slog-sweep. The last ball is driven back through Wyatt for four.

7th over: New Zealand 23-2 (Satterthwaite 10, Mackay 1) Anya Shrubsole, the right-arm seamer, replaces Brunt and zips a good delivery past Satterthwaite's attempted drive. A slower ball beats the outside edge next ball. Just one from the over. New Zealand are in trouble here; something will have to give pretty soon.

8th over: New Zealand 25-2 (Satterthwaite 11, Mackay 2) Hazell returns to the attack. As so often in recent times, England are inflicting a slow death on their opponents. Just two singles from Hazell's over. New Zealand are really struggling to pierce the infield.

"Tenuously linking to women's cricket, I flicked over to nerdy BBC4 quiz show Only Connect this week, which included a team of cricket fans, one of whom was called Andrea Lowe," says David Hopkins. "Wasn't she an OBO regular back in the Booth days? I now fully expect to see Gary Naylor on Pointless and Mac Millings on The Cube." She was indeed. Possibly the first OBOette, from memory, though it was before my time.

WICKET! New Zealand 30-3 (Mackay LBW b Shrubsole 2) New Zealand are in disarray. Mackay survived a biggish LBW shout earlier in the over but was given out when she pushed around a very full delivery from Shrubsole. There was a bit of doubt as to whether it was sneaking down leg side, but I suspect Hawkeye will show that was clipping.

9th over: New Zealand 30-3 (Satterthwaite 16, McGlashan 0) Hawkeye shows that it was indeed clipping leg stump, so Bruce Oxenford's decision was fair enough. Even by England's standards this has been a seriously good performance.

10th over: New Zealand 38-3 (Satterthwaite 22, McGlashan 2) Here's Laura Marsh to bowl her offspin. The fourth ball turns past McGlashan's outside edge and then Satterthwaite, beaten in the flight, slices an attempted slog-sweep to third man for four.

"Morning Rob!" says Ryan Dunne. " Like many, I'm delighted to find a new variation of MBM/OBO/HBH etc, but surely I can't be the only one disappointed that the Guardian didn't get one of its fine sportshacks to MBM last night's Presidential debate? Instead of 'WICKET!"' you could have had "ZINGER!" for especially witty comments by the candidates, "refresh the page if the response description didn't appear" , emailed in comments of romantic desperation (with e.g. a political twist!) from readers etc." We don't get to cover Real Life, Dunne, you know that. That exists in an entirely separate part of London to the airless sport bunker.

WICKET! New Zealand 42-4 (McGlashan st Taylor b Colvin 3) Beautiful bowling from the left-arm spinner Holly Colvin. Throughout her first over she has been bowling really slowly, at snail's pace (or should that be Snape's pace). McGlashan was completely done in the flight as she came down the track, and the brilliant Sarah Taylor had the bails off in an instant.

11th over: New Zealand 42-4 (Satterthwaite 24, Browne 0) "Anyone ever taken seriously (apart from Lord Selvey) the notion that Sarah Taylor should be in an England men's team?" says Ravi Nair. "She is surely good enough behind the stumps AND she can bat." She's good – she's a genius – but she's not that good. And her mate Matt Prior might have something to say about it. That stumping was pure class, mind.

12th over: New Zealand 49-4 (Satterthwaite 26, Browne 5) It's been so refreshing to see England's phalanx of spinners flight the ball so often. There have been no darts today. That flight does allow Nicola Browne to clout Laura Marsh over midwicket for four. New Zealand need a few more of those.

13th over: New Zealand 53-4 (Satterthwaite 28, Browne 7) New Zealand probably need 120 to have any chance of winning, although even then England would be strong favourites. Colvin's second over brings just four singles.

14th over: New Zealand 57-4 (Satterthwaite 30, Browne 9)
The ball is turning pretty sharply, aided of course by England flighting it so much. I won't say its ragging, lest someone put two and two together to make 74 and a helping of faux outrage. Nicola Browne looks in the mood for some bish-bosh, but she doesn't time a couple of big hits properly and there are just four singles from Marsh's over. New Zealand need at least 63 from six overs to give themselves a realistic chance. Quite the predicament they're in.

"I take offence at David Hopkins' assertion that Only Connect is nerdy," says Matt Dony. "It is one of the main reasons I have a tv license, and I'm in no way nerdy. Matt Dony (Bespectacled, re-training as an accountant, ex-Mensan, Scott Walker fan)." We should put an OBO team on there. Smyth, Bull, Selvey, maybe Naylor. What's the worst that could happen? Public humili-what?

WICKET! New Zealand 57-5 (Satterthwaite c Gunn b Colvin 30) Satterthwaite dances down the track to Colvin and drives straight to long on, where Jenny Gunn takes a splendidly unobtrusive low catch. England are so good in the field.

15th over: New Zealand 61-5 (Browne 10, Martin 2) Katey Martin is the new batsman/batswoman/batter. New Zealand are up a well-known creek, with paddles conspicuous by their absence.

16th over: New Zealand 68-5 (Browne 13, Martin 6) A wide from Danni Hazell, only the third extra of the innings. Martin does well to get down on a nasty grubber. Maybe this pitch isn't as good as we thought. Seven from Hazell's over, none in boundaries; she ends with figures of 4-0-18-0.

17th over: New Zealand 73-5 (Browne 15, Martin 9) New Zealand have struggled to hit boundaries: just five all innings, and at least two of these were off the edge. Colvin's final over goes for five, all in ones and twos. She ends with excellent figures of 4-0-15-2.

"Re: the third over, may I just say happy birthday to by twin brother Sam," says Tom Silverwood-Cope. Awww.

18th over: New Zealand 83-5 (Browne 18, Martin 15) Anya Shrubsole starts her second spell with a front-foot no-ball. The resulting free hit is clubbed to long-on for just a single. Martin gets a boundary off the third legitimate deliver, walking across her stumps to ping a low full toss over short fine leg. That's an excellent stroke. Ten from the over, New Zealand's best of the innings.

WICKET! New Zealand 83-6 (Browne c Greenway b Marsh 17) Browne smashes a full toss from Marsh to deep midwicket, where Greenway takes a very accomplished running catch above her head. She is the best fielder in the world, followed by daylight, and that was another example.

WICKET! New Zealand 85-7 (Bermingham run out 1) More high-class fielding from England. The new batsman Erin Bermingham tries to steal a second to long leg, but she's beaten by a sharp throw from Wyatt and a clean take from Taylor.

19th over: New Zealand 88-7 (Martin 18, Doolan 1)

WICKET! New Zealand 91-8 (Martin st Taylor b Wyatt 19) Lovely bowling from Danni Wyatt, who pushes an arm ball straight past Martin's outside edge from around the wicket. Sarah Taylor does the rest.

20th over: New Zealand 93-8 (Doolan 3, Nielsen 1) This has been an excellent performance from England, who need just 94 to make the final. See you in 10 minutes.

INNINGS BREAK

1st over: England 1-0 (target 94; Edwards 1, Marsh 0) There's a burgeoning sense that this could be a deceptively tricky target on a very dry pitch, with a few deliveries going through the top. New Zealand must take early wickets to get amongst the middle order, although they will be content with that first over from Nicola Browne – just one from it, with Charlotte Edwards twice beaten by lack of bounce outside off stump.

2nd over: England 8-0 (target 94; Edwards 8, Marsh 0) Sian Ruck, the left-arm seamer, is going to share the new ball. That's a bit of a surprise; most assumed they would start with spin. Is it really 20 years since Dipak Patel opening the bowling in the World Cup? Crikey. Ruck is getting some nice inswing from around the wicket, but her fourth ball is too wide and Edwards cuts crisply for four. Laura Marsh hasn't faced a ball yet. Anyone out there? We haven't had a single sexist email today; it's quite refreshing.

3rd over: England 12-0 (target 94; Edwards 12, Marsh 0) Edwards, on the pull, is beaten by a sharp bouncer from Browne. She responds with an imaginative lap over short fine leg for four.

4th over: England 15-0 (target 94; Edwards 13, Marsh 2) Here comes the legspinner Erin Bermingham, the joint leading wicket-taker in the tournament before this game. Laura Marsh finally faces her first ball, surviving an optimistic LBW shout to a ball that pitched outside leg stump, and then she is beaten by a sharp lifter. Three singles from the over. This has been a decent start from New Zealand.

5th over: England 22-0 (target 94; Edwards 14, Marsh 8) Marsh top edges a short ball from Browne not far short of deep square leg, and the ball spins past the fielder for four.

"4th over - 'his ball'?" says Simon Blackwell. "Isn't this a women's match?" Oof, sorry. Habit is a powerful thing. I've changed it now.

6th over: England 26-0 (target 94; Edwards 16, Marsh 10) Marsh tries to fetch the legspinner Bermingham from well outside off stump and drags the ball this far wide of leg stump. Edwards survives a huge LBW shout next ball, with a bottom edge onto the pad saving her. Bermingham looks a really good legspinner.

7th over: England 32-0 (target 94; Edwards 21, Marsh 11) New Zealand have a phalanx of spinners too, and here comes the offspinner Lucy Doolan. Edwards drives her first ball over mid-on, with one hand coming off the bat, but there's enough on it to clear the infield and it runs away for four. Six from the over; England need 62 from 78 balls. Should.

"Rob, you say you are working from home, have you done something wrong in the office?" says Rob Lee-Davey. "Is this part of some kind of reintegration process?" I didn't send those texts. They got nothin' on me.

WICKET! England 32-1 (Marsh c Nielsen b Ruck 11) What a catch from Morna Nielsen! Marsh hammered the new bowler Ruck towards mid-off, where Nielsen swooped forward to take an outstanding two-handed catch a few inches off the floor. That brings Sarah Taylor, the world's best T20 batsman to the crease.

8th over: England 34-1 (target 94; Edwards 22, Taylor 1) This is the key partnership, between the top two in the T20 batting rankings. If New Zealand can break it early they will still be in with a chance.

9th over: England 40-1 (target 94; Edwards 27, Taylor 2) Taylor's record in Twenty20s this year is ridiculous – an average of 44 and a strike rate of 124. She gives Doolan the charge and hits a sweet lofted drive down the ground for four. That part of her game has development so much in the last few months. In fact it was Edwards who played that shot. So ignore all of the above. (Although Sarah Taylor is a superb straight hitter.)

10th over: England 44-1 (target 94; Edwards 29, Taylor 4) Charlote Edwards survives a spandex-tight run-out referral after a dodgy single to midwicket off the new bowler, the left-arm spinner Nielsen. That could be a big moment in the game. Edwards would have been well out with a direct hit. Four from the over; England need 50 from the last ten.

WICKET! England 53-2 (Edwards c Devine b Bermingham 33) This match is not over. New Zealand are into England's middle order after taking the vital wicket of Charlotte Edwards. She tried to cut Bermingham over backward point but didn't get enough of it and Sophie Devine took an excellent two-handed catch as she leapt backwards. It's been an eventful over, with five wides, a straight hit for four and now the wicket.

11th over: England 55-2 (target 94; Taylor 5, Greenway 1) This is only Lydia Greenway's second innings of the tournament. She sweeps her first ball for a single.

12th over: England 62-2 (target 94; Taylor 12, Greenway 1) Sarah Taylor hits the first six of the match, clouting a filthy full toss from Nielsen high over midwicket. New Zealand must get rid of Taylor in the next couple of overs if they are to have any chance.

13th over: England 66-2 (target 94; Taylor 14, Greenway 3) New Zealand return to pace in the shape of Nicola Browne, whose final overs yields four singles. She ends with figures of 4-0-16-0. England are cruising now.

14th over: England 72-2 (target 94; Taylor 17, Greenway 6) The offspinner Frances Mackay becomes the eighth slow bowler in this match. England are picking up singles far too easily against a deep-set field, with Greenway paddle-sweeping every delivery she faced in that over. Six singles from the over. England need 22 from 36 balls.

15th over: England 74-2 (target 94; Taylor 18, Greenway 7) Taylor loops the new bowler Ruck this far short of Devine at backward point and is then beaten outside off. That's an excellent over from Ruck.

16th over: England 82-2 (target 94; Taylor 19, Greenway 13) Sarah Taylor is stumped off a no-ball! Oh what a sorry shemozzle. Mackay beat Taylor completely with a ball speared towards the off side from around the wicket, but her back foot was over the return crease. Taylor can't take advantage of the consequent free hit. England are still cruising however, and Greenway continues her sweep-happy innings by cuffing a full toss round the corner for four.

WICKET! England 93-3 (Greenway c Devine b Ruck 22) Greenway has played a sweep a ball; it's been an extraordinary innings. Now she's switched to the reverse sweep, and gets the seamer Ruck away for four, two and one. Then, with one needed, she falls to the reverse sweep, pinging it straight to point. She faced 19 deliveries for her 22 and I reckon she swept at least 13 of them.

17.2 overs: England 94-3 (Taylor 21, Brindle 0). ENGLAND WIN BY SEVEN WICKETS The little genius hits the winning run, and England are into Sunday's final against New Zealand and West Indies. This means so much to them after the disappointment of 2010. Edwards screams with delight before walking on the field to embrace Taylor and Brindle. England weren't quite at their best today; they were, however, too good for New Zealand and ultimately this was a comfortable victory, by seven wickets and with 16 balls to spare. Thanks for your emails. See you tomorrow for Australia v West Indies.

England women's cricket teamWorld Twenty20Women's cricketOver by over reportsWorld Twenty20 2012Rob Smyth
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The Spin | Why Virat Kohli should be the next superstar of world cricket

India's batting prince has had such an amazing year that it no longer feels appropriate to say he is in a purple patch

Sometimes it takes a man to fail for us to realise how good he is. When India's Virat Kohli was dismissed for two against South Africa on Tuesday, it prompted a confused rubbing of the eyes. Kohli had failed? In a big game? It simply did not compute.

Kohli has achieved a staggering level of consistency over the past year. This was only his third single-figure score in 34 innings for India this year, most of which have been in the shorter, risk-demanding forms of the game. At first it was a purple patch; then an annus mirabilis. Increasingly, however, it seems there is nothing temporary about this form; maybe this is simply the level Kohli is at now. He is developing an aura.

At the age of 23 he has 13 ODI hundreds, more than anyone else in history at the same age, more than any Englishman at any age. He has brought a Test-match consistency to Twenty20, in which he averages 39 for India. And after a slowish start to his Test career – he was omitted in England in 2011 – a breakthrough hundred at Adelaide last winter was followed by a century against New Zealand at Bangalore. In 2012 he averages 63 in Tests, 73 in ODIs and 47 in T20 internationals. Last month he became the youngest man to win one of the major ICC awards when he was named ODI Player of the Year.

Quite right too. Kohli's ODI form has been stunning, including a run of five centuries in eight games. Two of those stand out. The first was a spellbinding 133 not out from 86 balls against Sri Lanka in February. India needed to chase 321 in 40 overs to stay in the CB Series; Kohli got them home in 36.4 overs. Three weeks later he made a monumental 183 against Pakistan in the Asia Cup, enabling India to chase down a target of 330.

Kohli is the premier batsman in India's limited-overs teams, batting at No3 in both ODIs and T20 internationals. It would be hard to leave him out of a World XI in either form of the game. The same is not yet true of Test cricket. Kohli has only played 10 matches, and has been sensibly eased in at No5 or No6, but seems ready for his big breakthrough. At the end of next month's four-Test series, England may be sick of the sight of him.

"He is a great player and we have always known that," said Gary Kirsten, formerly his coach with India, earlier in the week. "He is probably one of the stand-out batsmen in the world at the moment. He is one of those X-factor cricketers that other teams want to get out, because he is not going to get out himself."

Kohli bats with intimidating authority and seems stimulated rather than cowed by pressure. There is also a remorseless ambition to his batting; as with Kevin Pietersen, a brash exterior sometimes obscures an unimpeachable work ethic. "His work ethic is brilliant, his focus is immense," says Yuvraj Singh. "Since the time he has joined the Indian team, I saw his work ethic and wished and wondered why I didn't have that work ethic when I was his age."

The alliance of that focus and a divine natural talent makes Kohli quite the package. He could – should – be the next superstar of world cricket. While modern cricket has a number of young box-office stars, most focus on the shorter form of the game. Kohli, by contrast, still believes in the primacy of Test cricket. "People asked me which hundred is most special to you and I said the hundred in Adelaide against Australia. I didn't have that feeling ever in my life, before or after – and I felt it today again," he said after making his second Test hundred. "I think that is the most satisfying, when you're being tested and your patience is being tested, your technique is tested and you manage to score a hundred – it always pleases a batsman."

There is no logical reason why Kohli should not score 10,000 Test runs. He is certainly tough enough. He was aged 18 when, in 2006, his father died at 2am. The same day he made a vital 90 to help Delhi avoid the follow-on and then went straight to his father's funeral. "Virat changed a bit after that day," said his mother. "Overnight he became a much more mature person. He took every match seriously. He hated being on the bench. It's as if his life hinged totally on cricket after that day. Now, he looked like he was chasing his father's dream which was his own too."

And nobody was going to get in his way, certainly not any punkass, loudmouth opponents. Any sledging is usually returned with interest, and he came through a seriously challenging tour of Australia last winter with a gold star – and, even better, high praise from Richie Benaud. India lost the Test series 4-0, but Kohli made their only century of the series and top-scored in both innings when they were duffed up at Perth. Hardship begets hardness; that tour may have done for Kohli what a similar thrashing there did for Viv Richards in 1975-76.

There remains a raw, emotional edge to Kohli that was particularly evident in Australia. He was fined for giving fans at the SCG the finger, a response to abuse of his mother and sister, and when he made his maiden Test hundred he celebrated wildly. You could imagine him whipping off his top at Lord's like Sourav Ganguly. But he is slowly smoothing off the rough edges and is now vice-captain of India's one-day team.

There is certainly nothing abrasive about his bat, which seems to have a never-ending sweet spot. His timing on the leg side is sublime, while his cover drive could soothe the most troubled brow. His timing can be pretty sweet off the field, too. In the joyous aftermath of India's World Cup victory last year, the team carried Sachin Tendulkar around the ground on their shoulders; when asked about it a few minutes later, Kohli said "Tendulkar has carried the burden of the nation for 21 years so it's time we carried him on our shoulders". It's not just bowlers who can deliver the perfect line.

In 15 years' time, somebody might be saying the same about Kohli. It's hard to see him fading away like another batsman with the same initials, Vinod Kambli. He was Tendulkar's peer – they added 664 together in one school game – but played only 17 Tests, the last at the age of 23. "Sachin took the elevator and I took the staircase," said Kambli. If the last year is anything to go by, Kohli is in the same elevator, heading inexorably for greatness.

• This is an extract from the Spin, the Guardian's free weekly cricket email. To sign up, click here .

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The Knowledge | Have two players been sent off for the same tackle?

Plus: symmetrical grounds (2); the greatest lower-league manager; and where does the term 'sixes and sevens' come from? Send your questions and answers to knowledge@guardian.co.uk and follow us on Twitter

" In light of Shelvey v Evans ," begins Rod Roberts, "has there ever been an instance of two players being sent off for the same tackle?"

After a lot of fruitless searching, we finally stumbled across a report from the Northern Echo that tells us that this actually happened right at the start of last season, in a match between Hartlepool United and Walsall. Just before half-time, Walsall's Andy Butler and Hartlepool's Nathan Luscombe (who'd only come on after 20 minutes because of an injury to Nobby Solano) were both sent off for a hard, low tackle that left both men smarting but little more.

"I find it hard to see even a yellow card for each player," said the Hartlepool coach, Mick Wadsworth. "No one goes in two feet, Nath is on the ground, one foot on the side, their guy tumbles over him and falls on top of him." Both he and the Walsall manager Dean Smith made the kind of argument made by the Sky pundit Gary Neville following Jonjo Shelvey's dismissal against Manchester United. Said Wadsworth: "If you thought it was a nasty foul, even then, common sense surely: two guys tackling, two yellow cards."

"Butler goes in one leg, wins the ball, their lad comes in for the ball," said Smith. "Both cautions, if that, and both players were very unlucky."

Another story, dug out from the dusty archives of the Sports Argus, concerns a friendly between Nuneaton Borough and Bognor Regis in 2004: 35 minutes in, Brian McGorry and Guy Rutherford were both sent off over a coming together that the Borough boss Roger Ashby described as "both players [going] for the same ball and [ending] up holding each other down". We've only got his word for it, mind, so if you know what happened that day, why not email in?

Most other double sendings-off (those hours trawling thousands of match reports won't be wasted, after all!) involve some kind of brawling/elbow swinging/kicking in the ribs/forehead pushing, our favourite being the clash between Joe Baker and Ron Yeats in a 1964 cup match between Arsenal and Liverpool. Yeats ploughed through the back of Baker, causing them both to land on their backsides, and Baker – half Yeats's size – promptly got up and landed one square on the Liverpool defender's noggin before sauntering off down the tunnel without even waiting for the referee to raise his card. Yeats was sent off for the original foul.

GROUNDS THAT ARE ALMOST SYMMETRICAL (2)

In last week's Knowledge we looked at grounds that were as near to symmetrical as dammit, and you have nominated some more …

"Regarding the three football grounds in Blackpool described by Michael Haughey," begins John Vint. "The centre spots of the three are virtually in a straight line, from AFC Blackpool, 286.61 metres to Squires Gate FC and  366m to the centre spot of the Wren Rovers spot. In addition to these, however, behind one goal of AFC Blackpool's pitch  there is Collins Park, 'The home of Sunday football'. With 266 metres between the centre spot of AFC Blackpool and the main pitch at Collins Park  and 374 metres from Collins Park to the Wren Rovers centre spot, this makes it a perfect football triangle (give or take a few metres)."

Iain Thomson, meanwhile, has suggested the Vasil Levski National Stadium and the Bulgarian Army Stadium in Sofia. "While not quite right next to one another, they are both aligned along exactly the same axis," says Iain, "and the Bulgarian Army Stadium has a speedway track right next to it to boot."

"In the Netherlands, two of the foremost amateur clubs, Ijsselmeervogels and Spakenburg, hail from the same village of Spakenburg," emails Justin Hughes. "Their derby is one of the most famous football fixtures in the Netherlands, more famous than all except Feyenoord-Ajax. As you can see from this Google map, their grounds are back to back. There's more on this wonderful derby (known as the spellcheck derby!) here."

There's more. "The old and new stadiums in Malmo, Sweden, are right next to each other," writes Henrik Persson. "Both Malmo FF and IFK Malmo used to play at Malmo Stadion. Malmo FF built the new Swedbank Stadion just to the south and IFK Malmo still play at the old one."

And Mark van Dijk adds: "I thought I'd add in another pair: in Durban, South Africa, the Moses Mabhida Stadium (which hosted the 2010 Spain-Germany World Cup semi-final) is right across the road from Absa Stadium. Now while Absa Stadium is technically a rugby union ground (it's home to Super Rugby's Sharks), it has hosted football matches in the past … including a 2003 friendly between South Africa and England, in which Gareth Southgate scored after about 30 seconds."

THE WORLD'S GREATEST LOWER-LEAGUE MANAGER

"Which manager is the greatest lower-league manager in the world?" wonders Claudio Alegria. "Meaning, who has got the more promotions and/or more clubs promoted?"

"Don't know if it's a record, but Dutch coach Frans Körver managed to take six Eerste Divisie (First Division) teams up to the Eredivisie in the Netherlands during his career in the '80s and '90s," says Johan van Slooten. "FC Wageningen (1980), Fortuna Sittard (1982), MVV (1988 and 1997), VVV (1993) and De Graafschap (1995)."

Körver is beaten by a couple of obvious names from England: Neil Warnock and Dave Bassett, who have each presided over seven promotions. Warnock's were with Scarborough (1987), Notts County (1990 and 1991), Huddersfield (1995), Plymouth (1996), Sheffield United (2006) and QPR (2011); Bassett's came with Wimbledon (1981, 1983, 1984 and 1986), Sheffield United (1989 and 1990) and Nottingham Forest (1998).

Can you go higher than a seven? If so, email the usual address.

KNOWLEDGE ARCHIVE

"I am interested in learning the origins of the expression that a defence was at 'sixes and sevens' in dealing with an attack," said Eric Willis back in more innocent times. "Can you help?"

With Susie Dent declining to return our class, we go off to www.wordorigins.org to answer this one, Eric. It states: "'At sixes and sevens' is a very old catchphrase and relates to gambling. It first appears c.1374 in Chaucer's Troylus. The original phrasing was 'set upon six and seven'. It referred to betting one's entire fortune on one throw of the dice [this, it transpires, being a game called 'hazard', more commonly known as craps]. It connoted carelessness, and over time the phrase came to mean confusion, disorder, and disagreement." Apparently a plural form, 'to leave at sixes and sevens', was developed in the 1800s; it was still based on the same gambling metaphor, but the idiom was now used to signify a kind of confusion or neglect, rather that pure risktaking.

For thousands more questions and answers take a trip through the Knowledge archive

CAN YOU HELP?

"The last time the Welsh national team drew a match was November 2007 (0-0 away to Germany), 41 games ago," notes Leon Barton. "Has any other team (international or club) gone this length of time without drawing a game?"

"Port Vale's Ashley Vincent recently scored in three consecutive games," begins Nigel Stubbs. "Nothing unusual about that but in each match he was wearing a different coloured shirt (white vs Rotherham, pink vs Plymouth and yellow vs Fleetwood). Has this ever been done before?"

"Who has been caretaker manager most amount of times or for longest without getting the job full time?" tweets Greg Fidgeon.

"Between 1935 and 1945, Burnley were managed by a selection committee," says Justin Hughes. "Is there any other case of a noted club having had selection committee management for such a long time?"

"In 2009 Carlo Cudicini broke a rule in his contract about riding a motorcycle when he suffered a nasty crash a few years ago," says Duncan Palmer. "Is it common to have such bans regarding bicycles? Are there any players past or present who are cyclists? I can't imagine that many arrive at training on a Pinarello or Bianchi …"

Send your questions and answers to knowledge@guardian.co.uk .

Georgina TurnerRob Smyth
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Manchester United v Tottenham Hotspur - as it happened | Rob Smyth

Spurs beat United 3-2, their first victory at Old Trafford since 1989, in a wonderful match that included three goals in 140 seconds

Preamble Hello. When the Guardian posted a Joy of Six on Manchester United v Spurs in 2009, the response was strangely negative, best summed up by this comment:

cannot wait for forthcoming joy of sixes on other meaningless premiership matches between two teams with no rivalry, arsenal vs. aston villa should be a cracker

All of that was what the point was not. Manchester United v Spurs is not about the rivalry, darling; it's about the glamour. This fixture has produced so many iconic moments, from George Best's lob to Eric Cantona's pass to Pedro Mendes's goal that never was (I'd still like to see it from a side-on angle as I'm not entirely convinced it crossed the line).

In the pre-Premier League era, United v Spurs almost came with a guarantee of spills, thrills and bellyaches. Both sides were cup specialists with attacking football in their DNA; their league meetings, full of boyish joy and a simple desire to score one more than the opposition, reflected that.

It has changed identity a little in recent times, with Spurs struggling to beat United first at Old Trafford (no wins since 1989, when Gary Lineker scored from outside the box) and then anywhere (no wins since 2001), but there has still been plenty of drama in that time. Expect more today. Andre Villas-Boas doesn't really do fear at places like Old Trafford; his side will certainly have a go.

Prediction: Spurs to be the better team and lose 2-1.

4.23pm Andre Villas-Boas 1-0 The Press.

Spurs' Premier League record at Old Trafford P20 W0 D3 L17 F8 A42.

Team news

Manchester United (4-2-3-1) Lindegaard; Rafael, Ferdinand, Evans, Evra; Carrick, Scholes; Nani, Kagawa, Giggs; Van Persie.
Substitutes: De Gea, Wootton, Anderson, Cleverley, Hernandez, Rooney, Welbeck.

Tottenham Hotspur (4-2-3-1) Friedel; Walker, Gallas, Caulker, Vertonghen; Sandro, Dembele; Lennon, Dempsey, Bale; Defoe.
Substitutes: Lloris, Dawson, Falque, Huddlestone, Mason, Sigurdsson, Townsend.

5.14pm Sir Alex Ferguson has just mentioned Tottenham's Christian Bale in his pre-match interview. An easy mistake to make. It's not like he referred Shinji Kagawa as Ji-Sung or anything.

1 min Spurs kick off from right to left. They are in white; United are in the red.

2 min "Scholes, Carrick and Giggs are three of the most technically proficient British midfielders of the past two decades. They're a joy to watch," says SB Tang. There's a 'but' coming here, isn't there. "But they're slow and two of them are borderline geriatric. I can't see how they're going to be able to get the ball off a Spurs team which is now attuned to AVB's collective, systematic high-pressing game and — in Sandro, Dembele, Lennon, Dempsey and Bale — boast one of the quickest, most mobile midfield units in the league."

GOAL! Manchester United 0-1 Spurs (Vertonghen 2) For the fifth time in six league games this season, Manchester United concede the first goal. Spurs kept the ball for at least 90 seconds before the left-back Vertonghen decided to push things forward. He played a crisp one-two with Bale and surged into a scandalous amount of space. Eventually he got into the area, ignored a woolly challenge from Ferdinand and stabbed a shot that deflected off Jonny Evans' hand before wrongfooting Andres Lindegaard.

4 min United have already taken nine points from losing positions in 2012-13, six more than they managed throughout last season. They are going to have to do it again today.

5 min "Yes, Cantona's pass was exquisite," says Matt Dony. "The acting in that little skit, however, wasn't. Maybe they should draft Christian Bale into the Premier League after all. At least then we could look forward to some future reminiscing that had some real depth! ('Look forward to future reminiscing'? I should pitch that to Christopher Nolan...)"

6 min Spurs have started very strongly, much sharper and more confident in their passing. The atmosphere at Old Trafford is... well you don't need to be told, do you.

8 min Dembele rolls Scholes cleverly and finds Dempsey, 25 yards from goal. He whistles a good left-footed shot not far wide, although Lindegaard had it covered.

9 min Spurs are destroying United at the moment. Lennon charges straight at the heart of the defence, running from right to left and into the area before his shot is deflected wide for a corner. United's geriatricos are being overrun, just as SB Tang said they would in the second minute.

12 min A loose ball breaks to Van Persie on the left of the box, and he is clattered by Gallas as he attempts to drill a shot across goal. The ball goes nowhere but Van Persie has been hurt by that tackle. Gallas went through the ball and then planted his studs into the side of Van Persie's leg as he followed through. I'd need to see that challenge again before judging whether Gallas should have penalised/sent off/shot. I suspect not.

14 min "I was at OT the last time Spurs won there, twice within a month I think it was, with Gary Lineker's best ever goal in one of them," says Adam Hirst. "I reckon after United's Getting Away With It start to the season, I won't be able to say that any longer after tonight." It was twice in two months, but yes, they stuffed United 3-0 in the League Cup that season despite an heroic substitute performance from Giuliano Maiorana.

16 min "Did Ferguson just single out Bale for praise?" says Enna Cooper. "I'd have thought that Willem Defoe and Sandro Bullock deserved a mention as well." Not to mention Benicio friedel Toro. Oh dear. I'm sorry.

18 min Spurs have been electric on the counter-attack, and another such attack brings a corner on the left. That leads to a second corner, which comes to nothing.

19 min As always in sport, it's hard to know how much the scoreline is down to Team A being rubbish and how much is down to Team B being very good. About 54/46 I'd say.

20 min Giggs runs down a blind alley and is dispossessed with disdain by the excellent Dembele. The level of Spurs' superiority is almost embarrassing for United.

21 min Evra blunders into Walker, giving Spurs a free-kick down the right. It's swung deep by Bale and headed over from only six yards by the unmarked Vertonghen. He couldn't get over the ball, which made it a very difficult chance, but the marking was appalling.

22 min Kagawa is needlessly fouled by Dembele, right on the right corner of the penalty area. Van Persie may hit this.

23 min Van Persie does hit it, a bit meekly, and it goes behind for a corner off Gareth Bale. That corner is drilled deep by Giggs and eventually cleared by Bale.

25 min United's performance has been rubbish, almost as bad as the one at Liverpool last weekend.

29 min "Just a left back, centre back, winger and two midfielders away from being the equal of Spurs," says Alex Netherton. "Eff's sake."

30 min Nothing has happened in the last 10 minutes.

31 min A cute reverse pass from Giggs, on the right of the box, is intercepted well by the influential Vertonghen.

GOAL! Man Utd 0-2 Spurs (Bale 32) What a wonderful goal from Gareth Bale! It came from another electric counter-attack, led inevitably by Dembele. He stabbed a little pass to Bale, just beyond the centre circle, almost like a relay runner handing over a baton. Bale eschewed niceties and went straight at the heart of defence with a swerving run that took him from centre to right, past the floundering Ferdinand and into the box. It still needed a finish, and Bale screwed a low shot back across Lindegaard with his right foot. That was a thrillingly decisive goal.

34 min United could be thrashed here. They are a rabble. Of course they were 2-0 down against Spurs at Old Trafford in 2009 and won 5-2, but they had Rooney, Ronaldo, Tevez and Berbatov on the field then.

35 min "Does anyone have any explanation why Sir Alex is starting Giggs and why he hasn't started Rooney?" wonders Ashwini Dubey. He's all out of wingers I suppose, so he feels he has to play Giggs, although I'd expect one of Rooney/Welbeck/Kagawa/De Gea/Phelan to play from the left in the second half. You have to say that Ferguson has made an awful hash of his team selection today.

38 min Somewhere in the bowels of Old Trafford, a flunky is plugging in a metaphorical hairdryer.

39 min The United fans have started singing. Quite loudly too. Valiant support in the face of adversity and all, but it might have been a better idea to open their mouths an hour ago.

40 min United are wrongly given a corner. No matter, for it produces the cube root of eff all.

41 min "Watching the game in Germany while switching over to Dortmund game!" says Dion Govender. "Kagawa is a big hit over here and based on German commentary from SKY he seems to be MOTM candidate so far!" He's been – what's the word I'm striving for – crap. But he's hardly alone in that.

42 min United are having a bit of the ball. It's all in front of Spurs though.

43 min United should have had a penalty there. Scholes, in the penalty area to the right, lobbed a lovely short pass over his own head and a couple of defenders. It was going towards Nani, on the right of the six-yard box, and he was clearly tugged to the floor by Vertonghen. That was a penalty and maybe a red card too. In the referee's defence, he was probably unsighted. A corner was given instead. When that was half cleared, Nani swooshed a decent 20-yard shot straight at Friedel.

44 min "What's Sir Alex going to do with the hairdryer?" says SB Tang. "Point it at himself?"

45 min Three minutes of added time.

45+1 min "I just wanted to say that I can't believe nothing more was made of that Gallas lunge on van Persie earlier," says Paul Henly. "Shelvey did that last week on Evans and was, quite rightly, shown a red. This week Gallas does it, should be a red card and a penalty for an awful over the top challenge that could easily be a leg breaker, and it's seemingly ignored. Not even Fergie looked angered by it... bizarre."

Half time: Manchester United 0-2 Tottenham Hotspur There are a few boos around Old Trafford. United should be thankful it's only 2-0. Spurs have been extremely good – slick, purposeful and courageous – and are surely set for their first win at Old Trafford since 1989. See you in 10 minutes for the second half to see how Spurs contrive to balls this up.

"What's Fergie going to do with the hairdryer?" says Alex Netherton. "He could try it in midfield, I suppose."

46 min United kick off the second half. Wayne Rooney has replaced Ryan Giggs, so Shinji Kagawa will play from the left.

48 min Nani puts a simple return pass into touch. He has had another stinker, playing with the kind of confused individualism reserved for those who feel unloved.

49 min "What ungodly pattern did Robin van Persie just reveal on his boxers?" says Matt Bobrowicz. "Andy why, oh why, do they not show it in HD? Were you able to tell what was on it? Animals? Cartoon characters? Surely the second half MBM is writing itself from now on, right?"

50 min United have started the second half better than they did the first, in that they have put two passes together. Actually they've had most of the ball. But, as in the first half, almost all of it is in front of Spurs.

GOAL! Manchester United 1-2 Spurs (Nani 51) Wayne Rooney has the desired impact with a stunning low cross from the right that Nani stabs under Friedel from six yards. A reversal of the usual roles, with Rooney creating and Nani scoring. It was a wonderful ball, hit with such pace, and Nani did really well to control the finish with his left foot.

GOAL! Manchester United 1-3 Spurs (Dempsey 52) Spurs have restored their two-goal lead straight away! It's Clint Dempsey's first goal for Spurs. The move started when Defoe ignored the hapless Ferdinand down the left wing and played a brilliant reverse pass inside Rafael to find Gareth Bale. He smashed a first-time shot towards the far corner that was brilliantly saved by Lindegaard, but it ran loose for Dempsey to score gleefully from a few yards.

GOAL! Manchester United 2-3 Spurs (Kagawa 54) Three goals in three minutes! This is preposterous. Van Persie took four defenders out of the game with a stunning sliderule pass. Kagawa took it in his stride with a great first touch, turning towards goal as he did so, and then drifted the ball across Friedel into the far corner.

55 min Detailed analysis of the second half so far: crikey.

56 min Those three goals came in just 140 seconds. Dear me.

59 min There's a big penalty appeal against Walker after a challenge on Kagawa in the box, but he got the ball with a brilliant tackle.

61 min Kagawa is clattered 25 yards from goal by Lennon, a thoroughly inept tackle. It's just to the left of centre, so either Rooney or Van Persie could hit this.

61 min It's Rooney to take it .... and he smacks the post with a fantastic effort! It curved over the wall and bashed off the left-hand post as Friedel dived desperately to his right. He wouldn't have got there.

62 min "Eleven different players have scored United's last eleven goals," says Mike Gibbons. "I think what that stat tells us is WE SHOULD HAVE SIGNED A MIDFIELDER IN THE SUMMER, IF WE SPELL IT OUT IN FIREWORKS IN THE NIGHT SKY FOR YOU WOULD THAT MAKE IT OBVIOUS ENOUGH FERGIE?"

63 min Van Persie has a goal disallowed for offside. He was put through by Scholes and finished classily, but he was definitely a yard ahead of the last man.

65 min Another huge penalty appeal from United, this time for handball against Sandro. It bounced up and definitely hit his outstretched right hand. Hmm, I don't know about that. Sometimes they are given, sometimes not.

66 min Rafael plays a nice one-two with Nani and finds Rooney in the box, back to goal. He has plenty of options but decides to try a shot on the turn that whistles wide of the near post. I'm not sure that was the right decision. That said, Rooney has been brilliant since coming on.

67 min Spurs are temporarily down to 10 men because William Gallas needs a new contact lens. He's back now. United have had 76 per cent of possession in this half. Spurs are being totally overwhelmed.

68 min "Apparently Messrs Ardiles, Francis, Gross, Pleat, Graham, Hoddle, Santini, Jol, Ramos & Redknapp put a combined be of £36247000.05 on Manchester United at half time," says Niall Mullen. "They know. We all know."

69 min A terrible miss from Van Persie! He was put through on goal in the inside left channel by a masterful 35-yard pass from Carrick, sidefooted with pace all along the floor. Van Persie raced to within 10 yards of goal but then drilled a hopeless shot well wide of the far post.

70 min Gylfi Sigurdsson has replaced Clint Dempsey for Spurs.

71 min Villas-Boas has pushed Dembele further forward onto Scholes, who has controlled the second half in the Pirlo/Scholes style.

73 min Spurs cross the halfway line for four seconds.

74 min Van Persie, on the stretch, heads Carrick's right-wing cross wide from 12 yards. That wasn't a bad chance; he couldn't quite get over the ball.

75 min United would surely want to bring Hernandez on now. I'm not sure who you'd take off though. It's still all United. Spurs have everyone behind the ball.

77 min Spurs have been better the last five minutes. They still can't put two passes together but their defending has been a little more comfortable. Saying which, Van Persie on the left flashes a glorious sidefooted ball across the face of goal that is hoofed away by Caulker.

78 min A fierce, low 25-yard shot from Nani is a touch too straight and held well by the plunging Friedel.

79 min United do make a substitution, but it's Danny Welbeck rather than Javier Hernandez. Shinji Kagawa is the man to go off. He played well in the second half and looks a good option playing from the left.

80 min Nani slips Vertonghen and clips a superb cross towards the far post that Gallas does superbly to head behind for a corner, under considerable pressure from Rooney. In the last five minutes United have had 86 per cent of the possession.

81 min "Spurs have now completely abandoned their AVB-mandated high pressing game in favour of sitting deep, closing their eyes and praying," says SB Tang. "Eerrm, are they England in disguise?"

82 min A loose ball comes back to Scholes, 20 yards out, and he works Friedel with a beautifully struck half volley. Thankfully for Spurs it was straight at Friedel, who got down to beat it away.

83 min Another Spurs substitution: Tom Huddlestone reaches Dembele, who looks shattered. No surprise: he went to Scholes school in the second half.

84 min Carrick hits the bar! Van Persie's corner from the left was helped on by the head of Carrick, in front of the near post, and it looped onto the crossbar as all the players gawpd at it.

86 min I certainly didn't think I'd be typing this at half-time, but it will be a travesty if United lose this game. In the second half the pitch has only had one half.

87 min With Lennon and Walker leaving the ball to each other, Evra attacks Rafael's deep cross only to head it straight at Friedel from eight yards. He should have scored.

88 min I have no idea why Sir Alex Ferguson brought on Welbeck rather than Hernandez. I'm not sure Welbeck has touched the ball.

89 min Rooney buys Spurs some time with a stunningly stupid and inept hack at Sigurdsson. He should probably have been booked for that.

90 min There will be four additional minutes of utter misery for Spurs fans.

90+2 min Nani blooters one high and wide from 25 yards, the daft fool. United bring on Javier Hernandez for Rio Ferdinand; Spurs replace Jermain Defoe with Michael Dawson. Sometimes substitutions tell the whole story.

Full time: Manchester United 2-3 Tottenham Hotspur. SPURS WIN AT OLD TRAFFORD FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE YEAR DOT Well, 1989 to be precise. Andre Villas-Boas punches the air and screams with hard-faced delight before breaking into a warm, wide smile. Quite right too. What a moment for him and for this new Spurs team. In the context of some tedious and unjust media pressure on Villas-Boas, that is a monstrous victory. In truth it's a pretty fortunate one, despite a wonderful first-half performance, but Spurs will not and should not give a solitary one about that. It would have been so easily to fold in the second half, too easy, yet they showed huge character to resist a United assault and a persuasive history of failure in this fixture. It's their first win at Old Trafford since December 1989, and their first against United anywhere since May 2001.

As for United, I suspect their fans might have secretly enjoyed that. Their second-half performance was fantastic, and for the first time this season they actually resembled Manchester United, playing football taught by Matt Busby. The hairdryer trumps the chalkboard yet again. Still, enough about United. This is Spurs' day, and AVB's day. I'm off to enjoy some ABV. Thanks for your emails; night.

Premier LeagueManchester UnitedTottenham HotspurRob Smyth
guardian.co.uk © 2012 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds

England v New Zealand - as it happened | Rob Smyth

A fantastic display of clean hitting from Luke Wright gave England a six-wicket victory over New Zealand

Preamble After a frustrating defeat on Thursday, here is a chance to get a much-needed victory against probably the weakest team in the Super Eights. But enough about New Zealand; we're an English website and should concentrate on their fortunes. HONK. This isn't quite a must-win for England; it is, however, a game they realistically need to win. England can lose today and qualify, but it would leave them depending on other results and net run-rate. And as anyone who has seen the film Go will tell you, it's not usually a good idea to depend on favours from those you don't know too well.

New Zealand have won the toss and will bat first. Grrr. That would have been a handy toss to win. New Zealand are without Jacob Oram, whose insides are on a spin cycle; he's replaced by Doug Bracewell. England bring in Danny Briggs and Tim Bresnan for Samit Patel and Jade Dernbach.

England Kieswetter (wk), Hales, Wright, Morgan, Bairstow, Buttler, Bresnan, Broad (c), Swann, Finn, Briggs.

New Zealand Guptill, Franklin, B McCullum (wk), Taylor (c), Nicol, Vettori, Williamson, Bracewell, N McCullum, Southee, Mills.

10.38am "Just in case you are unaware, the dance that Chris Gayle did when he was celebrating the other night is the Gangnam style," says Chris Gayle. "It is apparently an internet sensation."

I have no idea what 'Gangnam style' means. I do know, however, that Gayle's warning to Eoin Morgan on Thursday was the comedy highlight of 2012. Just look at him! He won't die wondering, will he.

Prediction on which you should stake your mortgage this same instant New Zealand to win by 24 runs.

There has been much criticism of England's batsmen. That's fair enough – some of them have batted like men auditioning for a role as Frank Spencer – but the bowlers need to do more as well. Ideally England would want to chase no more than 160 today. The introduction of a genuine fifth bowler in Danny Briggs should help. Briggs is going to open the bowling in fact, as he did in the warm-up games.

1st over: New Zealand 6-0 (Guptill 5, Nicol 1) Danny Briggs's third ball turns sharply past Rob Nicol's outside edge, and then the fifth is smashed down the ground for four by the charging Martin Guptill. The last ball of the over should have produced a wicket for England. Guptill got a leading edge that landed safely on the off side; then, after a mix up between the batsmen, Jos Buttler threw to the wrong end with Guptill miles out of his crease. Buttler went to the bowler's end when he should have thrown it to Craig Kieswetter. That was a big cock-up from England. The Buttler did it.

WICKET! New Zealand 7-1 (Guptill LBW b Finn 5) Steven Finn strikes his with third ball to dismiss the dangerous Martin Guptill. It was a fine delivery, almost yorker length, and Guptill was plumb LBW as he flicked across the line.

2nd over: New Zealand 9-1 (Nicol 2, B McCullum 1) The new batsman is the magnificent Brendon McCullum, the top scorer in this tournament. He is beaten twice in three balls by excellent lifting deliveries from Finn, the first a real snorter, and the last ball flies safely off the splice to third man. A superb start from Finn.

"It's not often I find myself thinking thoughts like these however, I don't mind if England lose tonight," says Jonny Hodgetts. "The Swannies won the AFL Grand Final earlier so today is already a good day. And should anyone be looking for tips on celebrating a win, they could do worse than to click on this link...."

3rd over: New Zealand 18-1 (Nicol 3, B McCullum 10) Briggs has an excellent temperament and has shown no sign of nerves thus far. He concedes two singles from the first four balls before being McCullumed off the last two, both of which are slammed down the ground for four.

"Desmond "Richard" Askew's performance in Go is arguably the most accomplished turn by a former Grange Hill star after Todd "Tucker" Carty's as Mr Haig in unfairly neglected The School That Roared," says James Debens. "I have a soft spot for Michael "Bronson" Sheard as Admiral Ozzel in The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and his pitch-perfect cameos in the On The Buses film of 1973 and 1989's Indiana Jones And the Last Crusade. Grange Hill – we children of the mid-80s had it so good."

Didn't we just.

WICKET! New Zealand 20-2 (B McCullum c Wright b Finn 10) Steven Finn has taken the big one! Brendon McCullum, on the run, sliced a massive yahoo high in the air to third man, where Luke Wright crouched to take a calm catch. That is a mighty breakthrough.

4th over: New Zealand 26-2 (Nicol 5, Williamson 0) New Zealand have a very fluid batting order in this form of the game, as all teams should, and so the new batsman is Kane Williamson, who so far in this tournament has batted No2 and No8.

"Forget policemen and doctors looking younger," says Jo Beasley. "You know you're getting old when after getting wasted on a Friday night, you wake up the next morning to discover rather than trashing it, you actually cleaned your entire kitchen. My rock and roll has officially rocked off." I always Flash when drunk, and other household cleaner-based jokes.

5th over: New Zealand 30-2 (Nicol 6, Williamson 2) New Zealand need to rebuild for a few minutes after those two early wickets. That allows the recalled Tim Bresnan to hustle through his first over at a cost of just four, three singles and a wide.

6th over: New Zealand 39-2 (Nicol 10, Williamson 7) Finn continues into a third over. That might not have been the loose pre-match plan but he is bowling so well that it would be daft not to give him one more. After taking a couple high up on the bat, Williamson backs away to flash a short ball past backward point for four. The next ball is a dead ball when Finn hits the stumps during his action, which costs New Zealand a couple of runs. Actually, it eventually brings them a couple of runs when the extra delivery is slapped wide of mid-on for four by Rob Nicol. Nine from the over.

"The most tenuous of links..." is the promising subject of Alex Marsh's email. "A bold decision to open with spin by England. Speaking of bold decisions I have decided to join my housemate and friend of far too long in running five races adding up to over 60 miles in memory of her dad who passed away five years ago (he would have been 60 this year). Tomorrow is our first 'big' race (the glamorous Ealing half marathon) and so, like the shameless person I am, I come cap in hand to my fellow OBOers. We've set ourselves the rather lofty target of £3000 so any support would be very much appreciated. I told you it was tenuous."

WICKET! New Zealand 42-3 (Nicol c Bairstow b Swann 11) For the 417th time in his international career, Graeme Swann strikes in his first over. Rob Nicol tried to lift him over midwicket for six but toe-ended it straight to the reliable Jonny Bairstow on the boundary. If they carry on like this England will be in serious danger of winning this match.

7th over: New Zealand 42-3 (Williamson 9, Taylor 0) Top stuff from Swann. One over, three runs, one wicket.

8th over: New Zealand 46-3 (Williamson 10, Taylor 3) This pitch looks a bit dusty, unlike Jo Beasley's kitchen, so England probably won't want to chase more than 150. Stuart Broad has brought himself into the attack. He bowled superbly against the West Indies on Thursday and starts with a good, bat-jarring over that goes for four.

9th over: New Zealand 49-3 (Williamson 12, Taylor 5) Swann's first ball turns viciously back in to Williamson, cramping him for room. The second ball is a carbon copy that takes the inside edge and just misses the stumps. That is serious turn. Forget a score of 150; 135 might be par on this. Just four singles from Swann's second over.

10th over: New Zealand 58-3 (Williamson 13, Taylor 10) Taylor is an extremely dangerous batsman, as he shows by dragging Broad's slower bouncer through midwicket for four. England won't want Taylor around in the death overs because he can mangle bowlers. A couple of wides from Broad, one on line and one on length, make it a relatively expensive over.

"Are we in danger of having too much sport this weekend?" says Gary Naylor. "How am I supposed to watch the cricket, the football and the golf as well as be a good (okay, maybe not quite good) parent? Bring back Granstand with racing from Kempton, three day eventing from Burghley and rally cross from some muddy field somewhere. Missing something didn't matter then."

11th over: New Zealand 64-3 (Williamson 16, Taylor 13)
Swann is bowling fairly slowly, allowing the ball to grip. New Zealand can't really take any risks against him and settle for low-risk singles off each delivery. I say low risk; there was a run-out chance off the last ball but Morgan's throw from midwicket was poor. New Zealand will be very happy with six an over off Swann.

"Samit!" shouts Gary Naylor. "We need Samit in every match on the subcontinent." Who do you leave out though? Bresnan maybe but then two seamers is a bit of a risk.

WICKET! New Zealand 67-4 (Williamson c Kieswetter b Briggs 17) England needed this wicket. New Zealand were nurdling singles a bit too comfortably but now they will have to build a new partnership. Danny Briggs, back in the attack, struck with his fourth ball, a quicker one that Williamson top-edged to the keeper Kieswetter.

12th over: New Zealand 68-4 (Taylor 15, Franklin 1) That's a fine over from Briggs; four runs and the wicket.

13th over: New Zealand 75-4 (Taylor 20, Franklin 3) Taylor decides to go after Swann, cuffing him expertly round the corner for four. There's an ominous certainty to the way Taylor is building his innings. Swann ends another fine spell with figures of 4-0-20-1.

"I have no idea what 'Gangnam style' is, either," says Mac Millings. "I have, however, recently learned what 'Gangland style' is, to my cost." Surely nobody dares cross Don Millings, the Keyser Soze of the self-loathing generation?

14th over: New Zealand 80-4 (Taylor 21, Franklin 7) Bresnan ends a good over – five from it – with a yorker that Taylor digs out. New Zealand will have to slip a gear very soon – possibly now, because Danny Briggs is going to bowl his final over.

15th over: New Zealand 96-4 (Taylor 21, Franklin 23) New Zealand do target Briggs, whose final over disappears for 16. Franklin picks him up for a big six over midwicket and then smashes a boundary straight down the ground, almost rearranging Briggs's cherubic features in the process. Briggs ends with figures of 4-0-36-1.

"Regarding your suggestion that Samit could replace Bresnan - why is Samit basically seen as a bowling option," says Nick Butler. "He is essentially a top six batsman who can bowl a bit, like eg KP. He almost seems to be penalised by his ability to bowl a bit as people don't seem him as a batsman. He could easily replace Bairstow in my opinion as a batsman, as well as offering a bit of bowling in the same way that Wright does. Why not five bowlers, wk and five batsmen, with one of those five batsmen being Samit?" I just don't think he's done enough in his international career to be picked in the top six in limited-overs cricket. I realise he has been a bit unlucky – often coming in at No7 or No8 and having to sacrifice himself for the cause – but I still don't think he's quite done enough. That said, if they play him in the Tests in India I would bat him No6 and Prior No7.

16th over: New Zealand 106-4 (Taylor 22, Franklin 32) This is a really dangerous cameo from Franklin, 32 from 20 balls now. He steers Broad to third man for four to bring up the hundred and then whaps a low full toss round the corner for another boundary. Broad has bowled poorly today.

"So Millings is Keyser Soze?" sniffs Matt Dony. "Great, that's another film I haven't got to bother watching. And, don't tell me, Naylor was a ghost all along?" No, Naylor was a woman.

WICKET! New Zealand 107-5 (Taylor c Hales b Finn 22) Steven Finn strikes again! He is having a wonderful day and has dismissed arguably New Zealand's best three players. Ross Taylor, who can be devastating at the death, drags a short ball straight to Alex Hales at deep midwicket. That wicket might save England 10-15 runs.

17th over: New Zealand 110-5 (Franklin 34, N McCullum 0) Franklin blasts Finn for four – but it's called dead ball because Finn knocked the stumps over during his bowling action. This, as Nasser Hussain says on Sky, is "absolutely ridiculous". Why should Franklin lose four runs for that? To compound his frustration, the next ball hits him right in the masculinity. He's down on his haunches lamenting the one that got away. The boundary, that is. Honk. Anyway, Finn ends with outstanding, career-best figures of 4-0-16-3. We have going to have lots of pleasure watching him over the next decade. He is awesome.

"Naylor's a woman?" sniffs Mac Millings. "Did not see that coming. She's still more of a man than I will ever be."

18th over: New Zealand 124-5 (Franklin 46, N McCullum 2) Franklin hooks a Bresnan bouncer over fine leg for six, his second of the innings, and then scoops a low full toss right over the keeper's head for a one-bounce four. Fourteen from the over. New Zealand are building a very handy total here.

"Ah, but isn't Naylor due to kill him/herself when the mission is done?" says John Starbuck. "There might be a way round that, though – the two versions of the character could call a dead ball and start again."

19th over: New Zealand 141-5 (Franklin 46, N McCullum 16) An unusually poor spell from Broad (4-0-37-0) ends with his final over disappearing for 17. Nathan McCullum drives a majestic six over mid-off, and then Broad bowls a front-foot no-ball. The free hit is a dot ball, a slower one that sneaks under Franklin's cross-batted swish. The extra ball costs Broad in the end, however: the seventh delivery of the over is swivel-pulled thrillingly for six by McCullum. This has been a brilliant display of death hitting from New Zealand, who have taken 61 from the last five overs.

"Amateur hour," says Paul Ewart. "This is how to celebrate."

WICKET! New Zealand 146-5 (Franklin run out 50) Franklin reaches his fifty and is dismissed by the same delivery. He was on 49 when he worked Bresnan into the leg side, and was run out coming back for a second. A dive would probably have saved him. Either way, his superb 33-ball 50 could be a matchwinner for New Zealand.

20th over: New Zealand 148-6 (N McCullum 16, Bracewell 2) Kieswetter fumbles a run-out chance, and more importantly gives New Zealand an extra run, off the final delivery. Bresnan's last over was a good one, with no boundaries. Overall New Zealand finished strongly though, smacking 88 from the last six overs, and England need 149 to win. Not losing any wickets in the first over would be a big start.

INNINGS BREAK

England's scores at the end of the first over in this tournament have been: 0 for 1, 2 for 1 and 0 for 2. Eighteen balls, two runs, four wickets. That's a very special display of ineptitude.

1st over: England 2-0 (target 149; Kieswetter 2, Hales 0) England have done it! They've survived the first over! Arise Sir Craig Kieswetter. He repels six deliveries from Kyle Mills and even manages a couple into the leg side. First-over blues, what first-over blues? England are two for nought! They've also lifted their average first-over score in this tournament to one for one. Like the song said...

"If I can be a woman," says Gary Naylor, "can I be Sarah Taylor?" England's little genius got a perky 25 not out today actually; the women thrashed India by nine wickets and are into the semi-finals.

2nd over: England 18-0 (target 149; Kieswetter 2, Hales 16) Alex Hales mangles Tim Southee's first over for 16! He blasts a cut for four, skies a pull just short of deep midwicket, belts another pull stroke to the square-leg boundary and finally pings a drive over point for four more. Magnificent stuff!

"True to form England will struggle in the first ten, score at barely a run a ball and lose wickets consistently," says Kevin Wilson. "Morgan will somehow stay in, but expect Finn to do an Umar Gul and score a rapid 30 at a SR of 200 to drag England over the line."

3rd over: England 19-0 (target 149; Kieswetter 3, Hales 16) Kieswetter looks a little tentative, as you might expect after two ducks in three innings. After four dot balls he works Mills to leg to move to three from 11 balls.

"If England go home from this tournament with a single win over Afghanistan to their names, do you think the media will question Broad's position as captain?" asks Dave Adams. I wouldn't have thought so. He hasn't really done uch wrong. England just aren't that good in Asian conditions.

WICKET! England 21-1 (Kieswetter b Vettori 4) Craig Kieswetter's miserable tournament continues. All those dot balls started to scramble his brain, and he tried to sweep a delivery from Daniel Vettori that was too full for the shot. It zipped under the bat and bashed into the stumps. Kieswetter goes for 4 from 14 balls.

4th over: England 22-1 (target 149; Hales 17, Wright 0) Wright survives a big LBW shout first ball. It was surely going down leg, and it was only really the keeper McCullum who appealed.

"I was relaxing at the gym enjoying the cricket, then some football match starts, and so they turn over the TVs," says Sam Cope. "Whatever game is on (Scottish non-league etc) football always take precedence. How do we stop this? We need an OBO movement, you're our leader." Actually we've just had this discussion in the office in reference to the order of the MBM/OBO/HBH on the website. Obviously I'm biased and would have cricket (national team, World Cup, decisive game for holders) above football (league match in September), but I'm in a minority. This is a battle that can't be won anywhere. Modern football is a boor and a bore that pushes other sports to the margins. It is interesting to look at newspaper archives, though; 20 years ago there was a much smaller focus on football, particularly in the broadsheets.

5th over: England 30-1 (target 149; Hales 20, Wright 5) Luke Wright gets off the mark with a boundary, flicking Kyle Mills past short fine leg, and then Hales slices a drive deliberately over backward point for three. Eight from the over.

"Re the Samit debate," begins Gary Naylor, "nobody would argue that Jimmy Franklin is a better bat than Samit would they?" Really? A better batsman per se, probably not, but I'd certainly argue he's a better Twenty20 batsman.

6th over: England 37-1 (target 149; Hales 22, Wright 9) England probably won't take too many risks against Vettori. As Nasser and Simon Doull have just said on Sky, they need to score the bulk of their runs elsewhere. Saying which, Vettori overpitches and is clipped confidently wide of mid-on for four by Luke Wright.

"What do you think is up with Kieswetter?" says Jeremy Bunting. "Or is he burned out like the rest of us? BTW, I always knew Naylor was a woman." There are ongoing issues, especially his dot-ball ratio, but essentially he just looks out of nick.

WICKET! England 38-2 (Hales b N McCullum 22) Now it's time for the offspinner Nathan McCullum. These are crucial overs an- OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. Hales has gone second ball. He ran down the track, heaved across the line and completely missed the ball as it turned through the gate to hit the stumps. That, it's fair to say, did not look too pretty. England are in a bit of bother here.

WICKET! England 38-2 (Hales b N McCullum 22) Now it's time for the offspinner Nathan McCullum. These are crucial overs an- OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. Hales has gone second ball. He ran down the track, heaved across the line and completely missed the ball as it turned through the gate to hit the stumps. That, it's fair to say, did not look too pretty. England are in a bit of bother here.

8th over: England 46-2 (target 149; Wright 14, Morgan 4) New Zealand have brought on a third slow bowler, the part-time offspinner Rob Nicol. He also gets Morgan with a delivery that skids under the bat and just misses the off stump; that was very similar to the ball from Harbhajan that dismissed him last weekend. Good stufdf from Nicol. Just four from the over, and the required rate is up to 8.5.

9th over: England 50-2 (target 149; Wright 16, Morgan 6) England are being smothered by spin. The story is old, I know, but it goes on. McCullum hurries through his second over at a cost of four singles. Something has to give here.

10th over: England 60-2 (target 149; Wright 25, Morgan 7) Wright is beaten in the flight by Nicol but reaches well outside off stump to wave the ball wide of mid-off for four. Ten from the over, a better one for England.

"Totally agree with your views about modern-day football stomping all over the sporting scenery," says Martin Duckworth. "May I suggest that the language of the 'winter' game is now spreading its malign influence across the sports pages too. No longer are boundaries merely 'hit', they are 'blasted', 'smashed', 'bludgeoned' and, dare I say it, 'blootered'. By way of a fightback against this barbaric tide, may I request you find/invent some less violent verbs. Neville Cardus once talked about the great Ranjitsinhji flicking his wrists and 'charming' the ball to the boundary. So there's your starter for ten, no pressure." In fairness, very few players apart from Mahela Jayawardene charm the ball to the boundary in T20 though I take the point.

11th over: England 70-2 (target 149; Wright 33, Morgan 9) Luke Wright seduces McCullum over square leg for six. I say seduces; he heaved a slog-sweep high in the air and all the way. This has been an impressive, confident knock from Wright: 33 from 23 balls.

"Currently sat somewhere in Meghalaya (eastern India) gazing through the evening mist at the Bangladesh plains, and this makes me think the solution to the double Kieswetter – Samit conundrum may be to give Bairstow the gloves and bring in Samit," says David Woolmer. "Gives a 6th bowler and extra flexibility all round. Bairstow's glovework may not be flawless, but then Kieswetter isn't exactly Knott." You could open with Wright if you did that, but who bats three? I doubt they'll omit Kieswetter anyway.

12th over: England 83-2 (target 149; Wright 34, Morgan 20) A low full toss from the new bowler James Franklin is inveigled over long on for six by Eoin Morgan. The final delivery is clattered past the diving backward point for four more. Thirteen from the over! England now need 66 from 48 balls. Should.

"Given all the negativity on here about England in Asia, I'm thinking of writing to Cricket Australia with a suggestion that the next ashes in Australia gets moved somewhere, anywhere in Asia," says Greg Randle. "Would the ECB happily go along with this? Added bonus is money spinner from TV rights in India."

13th over: England 86-2 (target 149; Wright 36, Morgan 21) These two are England's most in-form players, and that has been evident in the calmness of their partnership. Mind you that's a useful over from McCullum, who finishes with figures of 4-0-22-1. England need 63 from 42 balls.

"A Tyke writes..." says Harry Tuttle. "Bairstow keeping wicket. Seriously: no. He's not good enough for the First Division in that role. I think as he develops he will become, thankfully, a wonderful close fielder, a fixture in the slips, but not a keeper. He has this really strange habit of not taking throws to the stumps... deliberately, it seems. Surely Davies is still waiting his turn?"

14th over: England 95-2 (need 54 from 36 balls; Wright 38, Morgan 28) Vettori is back. Wright gives him the charge and is fortunate to get an inside edge wide of the stumps and the keeper for a single. Three singles and three twos give England nine from the over, which is precisely what they need from each of the last six overs to win the match.

"Maybe Morgan could honk a six?" says Matt Dony.

15th over: England 111-2 (need 38 from 30 balls; Wright 53, Morgan 29) Tim Southee, who bowled marvellously at the death against Sri Lanka, has three overs left. The first of those three overs goes for 16! His second ball is in the slot and Luke Wright smashes- sorry, fascinates it over long on for a huge, 93-metre six. He tickles another six off the last ball, driving it miles over wide mid-on to bring up a brilliant half-century only 33 balls. That second six travelled 97 metres, the second biggest of the tournament.

"Earlier this evening I watched a documentary on Jaws and how it started the trend for summer blockbuster movies," says Phil Withall. "This has led to the ever increasing spiral of hype and hyperbole that is the modern concept of mass entertainment. From this oversized plywood shark we have slid down the slippery slope to tabloid (and broadsheet) reporting of football being the horrible beast it is. So there you are. Stephen Spielberg killed cricket. Expect my 10,000 word thesis on this to come out soon.

16th over: England 126-2 (need 23 from 24 balls; Wright 66, Morgan 30) This is sensational stuff from Luke Wright! He has just blasted Nicol for consecutive sixes, a slog-sweep over midwicket and a sweet drive over long on. He was actually beaten in the flight by both deliveries but went through with the shots to devastating effect.

WICKET! England 127-3 (Morgan c Bracewell b Mills 30) Maybe England aren't home just yet. Morgan clatters Mills over mid-on, and Bracewell runs round the boundary before swooping forward to take a stunning low catch. England need 22 from 22 balls.

17th over: England 138-3 (need 11 from 18 balls; Wright 76, Buttler 1) Wright clubs Mills for consecutive boundaries, a thrilling drive over cover and a well-placed pull between two fielders. This has been a seriously good innings, 76 from only 41 balls with five fours and five sixes. "Cricket is Jaws," says Simon McMahon. "Football is Jaws 2." So what's an elf?

18th over: England 141-3 (need 8 from 12 balls; Wright 76, Buttler 3) England need to keep swinging, with net run-rate in mind. Remember 1999 and that costly faffing against Zimbabwe? They can't manage much longhandling in Vettori's final over; three from it.

WICKET! England 142-4 (Wright c Taylor b Bracewell 76) Wright hits Doug Bracewell's slower ball straight to extra cover. His coruscating 76 from 43 balls should be a matchwinning knock, however. England need seven from 10 balls.

19 overs: England 149-4 (Buttler 5, Bairstow 5). ENGLAND WIN BY SIX WICKETS WITH SIX BALLS TO SPARE Jos Buttler hits the winning run to give England a vital victory. That was a much improved performance, with outstanding contributions from Luke Wright and Steven Finn. We don't yet know what it means for the Super Eights. England play their last group game against Sri Lanka; as things stand they could lose that and qualify for the semi-finals or win it and not qualify. Things will be much clearer after this afternoon's match between Sri Lanka and the West Indies. Thanks for your emails. Bye.

World Twenty20 2012World Twenty20CricketOver by over reportsEngland cricket teamNew Zealand cricket teamRob Smyth
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England v New Zealand - live! | Rob Smyth

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• The full scorecard from Pallekele

Preamble After a frustrating defeat on Thursday, here is a chance to get a much-needed victory against the weakest team in the Super Eights. But enough about New Zealand; we're an English website and should concentrate on their fortunes. HONK! This isn't quite a game that England must win; it is, however, a game they realistically need to win. England can lose today and qualify, but it would leave them depending on other results and net run-rate. And as anyone who has seen the film Go will tell you, it's not usually a good idea to depend on favours from those you don't know too well.

World Twenty20 2012World Twenty20CricketOver by over reportsEngland cricket teamNew Zealand cricket teamRob Smyth
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England v West Indies – as it happened | Rob Smyth

Eoin Morgan smacked a thrilling 71 not out but England could not recover from a diabolical start and lost by 15 runs

Preamble Hello. In times of stress, it's important to remind yourself of the positive things in your life. Provided you can find them, that is; if you can't then guardian.co.uk is not legally responsible for the tears you are about to haemorrhage. Anyway, yes. The positives. I'm alive. I have my own teeth. (Apart from that one I had booted out during a zesty five-a-side game at the Westway in 2004, but still.) I'm vaguely continent. It's X-Factor/Strictly season. Life is good.

The same is true of England's Twenty20 team. As that oft forgotten line in Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) by Baz Luhrmann tells us: even if you have just been bowled out for 80 after giving one of the most farcical displays of batting against spin in years, remember you are still world champions and No2 in the ICC Rankings. Then he said something about dancing the funky chicken and enjoying the power and beauty of your youth; I forget precisely what.

England were a gift to comedy in that match against India, eleven Karl Pilkingtons floundering in an alien environment. The witless ineptitude of their performance was unique to English teams, under pressure, against spin, in Asia. If it would invite ridicule to say they don't have problems against spin, then nor is the problem as straightforward as you might think. England played Sunil Narine outstandingly in the summer; in 2011, they averaged 82.73 against spin in Tests.

They do seem to have an mental block playing spin in Asia but it need not be insurmountable – especially as the best spinners (Ajmal, Ashwin) are in the other group, and their Super Eights games will be played on a cracking pitch in Pallekele. It might be a stretch for the non-Hackett customers among us to envisage England winning the tournament; they are, however, well capable of reaching the semi-finals at least.

To do that, they probably need to win two of their three Super Eights matches. (You can go through with one win and go out with two, but two wins out of three is a decent target. Yes, I will sneak back in next week and delete this back if England win two games and go out.) The first is against the Calypso galacticos of the Twenty20 age: Chris Gayle, Kieron Pollard, Sunil Narine, Johnson Charles, Dwayne Bravo and the rest. England beat them impressively when the two sides met in June, with Alex Hales making 99. Then again, that game was in England. In short, nobody knows anything, reading this preamble has been a complete waste of your time, and we're all doomed. There's your positive!

The first Super Eights game between Sri Lanka and New Zealand has gone to a Super Over after an amazing finale. It was decided by a run-out review off the final delivery that necessitated at least 20 replays. Join James Riach right here, right now.

The toss for this match has been delayed as a result.

2.43pm The start to this match will be delayed as we are only halfway through the Super Over. Sri Lanka made 13 from theirs; New Zealand need 14 to win. Follow it all here.

SRI LANKA HAVE BEATEN NEW ZEALAND BY SIX RUNS IN THE SUPER OVER. That's a serious thrashing in a one-over game. A memorable match has ended an hour after the scheduled finish time. Neither side managed to hit a boundary in the Super Over, with Lasith Malinga's death-bowling skill decisive. What a fantastic start to the Super Eights stage.

Right, to business. We've had the thriller; now it's time for the comedy.

West Indies have won the toss and will bat first. England have brought in Samit Patel for Tim Bresnan. West Indies have resisted the temptation to play 11 spinners, although they have brought in the inexperienced 31-year-old legspinner Samuel Badree.

Badree has an interesting backstory: he made his first-class debut in January 2002 but has played only 12 first-class matches in nearly 11 years. His career was ignited by the advent of Twenty20, however, and he has a sensational domestic T20 record: an average of 17.20 and an economy rate of 4.59. He's up against some of the world's best players of spin today though.

England Kieswetter (wk), Hales, Wright, Morgan, Bairstow, Buttler, Patel, Broad (c), Swann, Finn, Dernbach.

West Indies Charles, Gayle, Samuels, Dwayne Bravo, Pollard, Ramdin (wk), Russell, Sammy (c), Rampaul, Narine, Badree.

3.11pm Did anyone watch Drugs Live last night? What actually happened? If not, don't worry: the Guardian have allowed me to do this OBO on MDMA in the name of scientific, journalistic and social experimentation.

The good news for England is that Chris Gayle has not really fired against them in Twenty20 cricket. The bad news for England is that Chris Gayle has not really fired against them in Twenty20 cricket. Henry is due.

3.18pm The game will start at 3.40pm. Eff sake. Some of us have a dinner reservation tonight, you ICC swine.

3.30pm "Dinner reservation," sniffs Paul Wakefield. "I didn't know McDonald's did reservations?" I've been watching too much Frasier. Everything's a dinner reservation or an opera to me these days.

3.33pm "Any idea why they're using Super Overs in the group stages?" says Josh Robinson. "Surely since we're not yet in the knockout rounds, tied games could happily be left with the points split. Couldn't they?" No idea. Hope this helps!

So now then, who should open the bowling against Enery Gayle? Steven Finn is a must, and Nasser Hussain has suggested Graeme Swann, which is a decent idea. I suspect it'll be Finn and Jade Dernbach though.

1st over: West Indies 6-0 (Charles 6, Gayle 0) Steven Finn will open the bowling. He nailed Enery nice and early in the last T20 match between the sides. This time he starts to Johnson Charles, who works a couple into the leg side, fresh-airs an on-the-run haymaker, has a tentative sniff at a sharp lifter and finally top edges an attempted pull high over slip for a one-bounce four. Six from the over, but it was a very good one from Finn.

"Whatever happens in the next few hours, at least there's been one England win today," says Clare Davies. "Our girls beat Pakistan despite doing a fine impression of the men with their middle order collapse. Still if the openers this afternoon can emulate Laura and Charlotte and put on 99, then we could be in with a shout of a win." Bowling figures of 4-9, like Holly Colvin's, wouldn't exactly harsh the England buzz either.

2nd over: West Indies 20-0 (Charles 6, Gayle 12) It is Jade Dernbach at the other end. He starts with a short ball that Gayle avoids. Enjoy the dot ball, Jade, because you might not have too many today. Mind you, Gayle usually takes 10 deliveries to get his eye in. Make that three deliveries; after two dot balls, he mangles Dernbach through midwicket for four. The fifth ball, a slower short one, is pulled zestily over square leg for a one-bounce four, and Gayle completes a 14-run over by timing an attempted yorker back whence it came to the fence. Stunning batting from Gayle, who has 12 from 6 balls. The beast has woken early today.

"Given that Gayle starts slowly, which is a pleasing aesthetic," begins Elliot Carr-Barnsley, "is lobbing down some slow full tosses a cavalierly brilliant idea?" No idea. Hope this helps!

3rd over: West Indies 26-0 (Charles 6, Gayle 17) Johnson Charles is the Starsky to Gayle's Hutch, the Pepsi to his Shirlie (or is it the other way round?), the Wetherspoons Mixed Grill to his Hawksmoor Ribeye. He takes a single to put Gayle on strike against Finn for the first time – and Gayle plays a preposterous stroke, backing away to smash a short ball over extra cover for four. It's time to assert the offensively obvious: England really need Gayle's wicket here.

"Is it spin bowling which so flummoxes England's batsmen or merely slow bowling?" says Gary Naylor. "Seems that the more time they have to think as the ball leaves the hand eventually to plop down on to the earth, the more trouble they have. And does anyone know if KP becomes all tongue-tied and hesitant at the mic when a left-arm spinner comes on?"

4th over: West Indies 37-0 (Charles 11, Gayle 22) Ach! Broad almost dismisses Gayle with his first ball. He banged it in short outside leg stump; Gayle tried to cuff it through midwicket but instead edged it high over short third man for four. This is a fantastic pitch, with the Sky commentators generally agreeing that a score of around 180 is par. West Indies are on course for that and more at the moment. Johnson Charles pings a very full delivery past backward point four, despite a very good effort from the sliding Bairstow on the boundary. I'm not sure that should have been four you know, and if England lose by two runs (Gayle only jogged a couple) we might hear more about it.

"Drugs Live," says Gordon Pittendrigh. "Yes, I wasted some of my life watching Keith Allen take drugs and be ... well, Keith Allen."

5th over: West Indies 40-0 (Charles 14, Gayle 23) England are hitting Gayle with plenty of short stuff, although it's only really the high bouncer that tends to give him agita. Finn kicks the stumps in the course of his second delivery; Asad Rauf tells him that any repeat will be a dead ball. It's an excellent over though; only three from it, with four dot balls. Splendid stuff. Gayle has 23 from 13 balls; Charles has 14 from 17.

6th over: West Indies 47-0 (Charles 14, Gayle 28) Gayle flicks Broad over midwicket for four with devastating timing. That aside it's another good over for England, even though Johnson Charles is very fortunate to survive a huge LBW shout. That might be a blessing for England because Charles is struggling to get it off the square, or whatever the T20 upgrade of that phrase should be.

7th over: West Indies 53-0 (Charles 19, Gayle 29) Here comes Graeme Swann. He has been in wonderful form in Twenty20 cricket since ... well, pretty much since ever. Gayle has a look at his first ball, which turns sharply off the pitch, and works the third off his pads for a single. Johnson Charles then gives Swann the charge, heaving a boundary to cow corner. "Hit out or get out," says Nasser Hussain. Charles's current strike rate of 90 isn't enough on this pitch.

8th over: West Indies 72-0 (Charles 20, Gayle 47) Samit Patel is sweating. This much you know. But he'll be perspiring a bit more now because he has to bowl at Chris Gayle. Fret not, Samit, what's the worst that can happen? Oh. Gayle has smashed Patel for three sixes in four balls! The first was pulled over deep midwicket, the second flicked high over square leg and the third clouted miles over midwicket. Well, 96 metres to be precise; it was a monstrous blow, the second biggest six of the tournament. Nineteen runs from the over. This is awesome batting.

9th over: West Indies 90-0 (Charles 37, Gayle 48) Nasser reckons 160 will be a tricky target, with the ball stopping a bit in the pitch for the spinners. England are in the malodorous stuff, then, not least because Swann is now going round the park. His second over has just disappeared for 18, but this time it's Johnson Charles doing the damage. He pulls four round the corner, follows that with the sweetest driven six over long on, and then drives another over midwicket to finish a huge over.

10th over: West Indies 95-0 (Charles 39, Gayle 51) Kieswetter has a desperate, lone appeal for a catch when Gayle whips at Dernbach's first delivery. Replays weren't really conclusive either way. A single later in the over brings him to another awesome fifty, from just 29 balls. It's not totally sacrilegious to call him the Bradman of Twenty20; his record is just outrageous. Five from Dernbach's over, all singles.

"This isn't fair," says Sarah Dickens. "Not only is Gayle feasting on Patel's pies, he's just run a quick single!" You can't call that running. Chris Gayle is from the Junior Soprano school: "we don't run".

WICKET! West Indies 103-1 (Gayle c Finn b Swann 58) Swann enjoys two dot balls to Gayle, but he doesn't enjoy them so much when Gayle monsters the next over extra cover for his fourth six. And now Finn has dropped Charles! For heaven's sake, the comedy roadshow is back. This was a relative dolly, running in from long off. The look on Swann's coupon! He looks like he's just eaten his own spaghetti bolognese. England are in danger of falling apart here – but Finn takes a much more difficult chance next ball to get rid of Chris Gayle! All's well that ends well, at least until West Indies post 200. Gayle slaughtered Swann high in the air towards deep midwicket (I think). Wherever it was, Finn backpedalled sharply to take a really good face-high catch. It knocked him off his feet but he held on.

11th over: West Indies 103-1 (Charles 40, Samuels 0) "Chris Gayle is essentially a superior version of Craig Kieswetter — both absorb an unusually high number of dot balls at the beginning of their innings in the belief that, once they've played themselves in, they'll be able to lift their initially anaemic strike rate to a more than acceptable level by smacking boundaries," says SB Tang. "Gayle's just a bit better at it than Kieswetter." Just a bit. Do you reckon Kieswetter deliberately absorbs dot balls? He does sometimes – he isn't afraid to shoulder arms – but it's also partially that he hasn't developed his game yet.

12th over: West Indies 114-1 (Charles 49, Samuels 1) Johnson Charles is into his stride now. His first ball from the new bowler Luke Wright is scorched for four, inside out through extra cover. A languid drive back over the bowler's head brings him another boundary two balls later. Even with the loss of Chris Gayle, West Indies are well placed to get 200.

13th over: West Indies 118-1 (Charles 52, Samuels 2) Charles laps Patel for a single to his first international T20 fifty, a two-paced effort from 36 balls. He scored 21 from his first 24 balls and 29 from the next 12. Patel's second over goes for only four; England desperately needed an order-restorer like that.

WICKET! West Indies 118-2 (Samuels c Morgan b Broad 2) This is excellent work from Stuart Broad. He bowls four consecutive dot balls to Marlon Samuels, the last of which also brings a wicket when Samuels slaps one to the leaping Morgan at backward point. Samuels made two from eight balls.

14th over: West Indies 118-2 (Charles 52, Pollard 0) With Down Under by Men At Work playing in the background, Simon Whitlock Kieron Pollard swaggers to the wicket. He is beaten by his first ball, waving lazily at a short one, and ignores the second. So that's a wicket maiden from Broad. We talk about captain's innings but we never reckon about captain's spells, do we? Or captain's overs, or captain's dot balls? Anyway, that was very good from Broad. Meanwhile, the Sky commentator, Alan Wilkins I think, has just shared a wonderful stat: in T20 cricket, Kieron Pollard has hit more sixes (206) than fours (184). That is utterly absurd.

"This match sounds pretty lively, complete with the requisite cast of butter-fingered Englishmen," says Michael Jelley. "My friend Ed and I are heading in for an audition for Pointless, and thought you and your adoring public might have some top Pointless facts for us to wow them with..." 65.00?

15th over: West Indies 128-2 (Charles 61, Pollard 1) Pollard, still on nought, slices Patel high over backward point, and the ball lands tantalisingly between three fielders. After four runs from the first five balls, Charles charges down the track and smokes Patel for another glorious six over long on. "Ksake!" shouts one of the England team, probably Patel. That travelled 95 metres, just three short of the biggest in the tournament so far.

"Is anyone else horribly frustrated at not having access to the commentary featuring Satan KP?" says Oliver Smiddy. "A penny for his thoughts now... Woeful selection mind. It still amazes me we'd defend the trophy without the likes of Shah, Anderson and Beelzebub KP."

WICKET! West Indies 128-3 (Pollard c Wright b Finn 1) This is a big wicket for England. Pollard drives Finn a million miles in the air towards the cover boundary, where Luke Wright gets down on one knee to calmly take the catch. Pollard made 1 from 5 balls, and he and Samuels made 3 from 13 between them. Yet West Indies are still on course for a mighty total.

16th over: West Indies 140-3 (Charles 73, Dwayne Bravo 1) You know that attempted gag at Johnson Charles' expense in the preamble? I'm sorry. It was me wot done it. Charles is playing sensationally now and has just taken Finn for consecutive boundaries to third man and square leg. He made 21 from his first 24 balls; he has made 52 from the last 24.

"Danger man: Andre Russell," says Harry Tuttle. "His batting has come on leaps and bounds since the World Cup. He is arguably a bigger hitter than Gayle."

17th over: West Indies 146-3 (Charles 76, Dwayne Bravo 2) Apart from being boom-boomed for four sixes, Samit Patel has bowled a fairly decent spell. That's not quite as stupid as it sounds. The other 20 balls went for 14 runs, and he has just bowled his final over at a cost of six singles. He ends with figures of 4-0-38-0.

"'It's also partially that he hasn't developed his game yet'," says Ian Copestake of that earlier comment about Kieswetter. "The hours of hard yakka at euphemism school really paid off there. Well done that man."

WICKET! West Indies 154-4 (Charles c Bairstow b Dernbach 84) A stonking innings from Johnson Charles, who I've always rated, comes to an end when he clobbers Dernbach to Bairstow at long on. Charles made 84 from 56 balls with 10 fours and three sixes. He belted 63 from his last 32 deliveries.

18th over: West Indies 154-4 (Dwayne Bravo 2, Sammy 0) That was the last ball of the over. "Charles has now scored his highest score in any professional format anywhere in a T20 International," says Tom Bowtell. "Can't be many people for whom that can be said."

WICKET! West Indies 158-5 (Sammy b Broad 4) Beautiful bowling from Stuart Broad. Darren Sammy heaves all around a slower ball that bounces gently into the stumps. Some hot captain-on-captain action, then, and there are nine balls remaining.

19th over: West Indies 164-4 (Dwayne Bravo 2, Russell 6) Russell is fortunate to top-edge the slower bouncer for four. Broad, who has been the pick of the England bowlers by a distance, ends with figures of 4-1-26-2.

20th over: West Indies 179-5 (Dwayne Bravo 11, Russell 10) Swann hasn't bowled his four overs, which is very unusual, but then nor has England's 20th-over specialist Jade Dernbach. His last over, the usual slow-evenslower-quick affair, disappears for 15. Russell edges a boundary to third man; Bravo drills another back over the bowler's head and then smashes a flamboyant drive over extra cover for four more. The upshot is that England need precisely 180 to win. It's a good pitch but, in the parlance of our time, the task is seriously stiff and the ask is seriously big. See you in 10 minutes for England's reply.

INNINGS BREAK

WICKET! England 0-1 (Kieswetter c Pollard b Rampaul 0) Well this is going well. Craig Kieswetter has fallen second ball for nought. He was beaten for pace by Ravi Rampaul and top-edged an ugly pull straight to Pollard at point.

WICKET! England 0-2 (Wright c Gayle b Rampaul 0) Laughter is the best medicine. Luke Wright has gone for a golden duck and England are in disarray. He tried to leave a short ball from Rampaul but was too late on the aborted stroke; the ball went off the face of the bat to the left of slip, where Chris Gayle took an excellent low catch and celebrated with his usual dance.

1st over: England 0-2 (target 180; Hales 0, Bairstow 0) Jonny Bairstow has been promoted above Eoin Morgan. Rampaul completes a double-wicket maiden. It seems England don't have a problem with slow bowlers; they just have a problem with bowlers.

"This is going to be nail-bitingly brilliant," says Nick Barrett. "Forget chasing down the Windies' total, are England going to be bowled out for the lowest-ever T20 total or not? This is what being an England fan is about; God how I've missed it."

2nd over: England 2-2 (target 180; Hales 1, Bairstow 1) The legspinner Samuel Badree will share the new ball, and he hurries through his first over at a cost of two runs. England's required rate is up to 9.88. Already.

3rd over: England 8-2 (target 180; Hales 2, Bairstow 6) Bairstow swivel-pulls Rampaul almost angrily for four through midwicket. He then takes a very dodgy single to mid-on, and would have been out with a direct hit from Dwayne Bravo. Hales inside-edges the next ball past the stumps. The required rate is into double figures. This is grim.

"Just switched on the telly to be greeted by the giant screen yelling ON A HAT TRICK and Chris Gayle dancing in the slips," says Simon McMahon. "Maybe England should just bat out their overs and finish on 60 for two? Probably marginally less embarrassing that way."

4th over: England 17-2 (target 180; Hales 11, Bairstow 6) That's a classy stroke from Hales, an on-the-run drive through extra cover for four off Badree, and he makes it consecutive boundaries with a cut through the lumbering Gayle at short third man. England need to hang in this game and hope for something ludicrous from Eoin Morgan or Jos Buttler.

"While it's clear this format makes aggressive batters tumescent, are there any bowlers who live for it?" says Ian Copestake. "Seems they must be masochists for all the kicks they will get from wickets taken in between being whacked all over the shop." Ravi Rampaul. Next.

5th over: England 25-2 (target 180; Hales 17, Bairstow 8) Sunil Narine comes into the attack. England can't sit on him today, not with the required rate in double figures. I suppose they would be happy with figures of 4-0-30-1. Hales edges a cut in the air but wide of short third man for four; Narine's first over goes for eight. England will take that.

"I think there's a bright side to be looked on here," says Josh Robinson. "It usually takes Kieswetter a lot more than two balls to get out for a duck, and Wright has evidently decided that England's best hope of chasing down this total is to have Bairstow, Morgan and Buttler at the crease for as long as possible."

6th over: England 29-2 (target 180; Hales 18, Bairstow 11)
A good over from the legspinner Badree, full of quicker deliveries, goes for only four. That's the end of the Powerplay, which was directed by Lars Von Trier and soundtracked by Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah.

"I knew the last 10 or so years were just a temporary blip," says Matt Emerson. "Goodbye professionalism, welcome back abject shambles. You've been missed by all true England cricket supporters."

7th over: England 41-2 (target 180; Hales 27, Bairstow 15) I had to cancel my bloody dinner reservation for this as well. Hales swivel pulls the new bowler Sammy for a smooth flat six. He's actually playing very well. If he hadn't faced his first ball at 0 for 2 England might be in serious danger of having a vague chance of winning this game. Maybe they still have one. Sammy's first over goes for 13, with Bairstow ramping the last delivery for four. England need 139 from 13 overs.

8th over: England 49-2 (target 180; Hales 32, Bairstow 15) Ramdin iron-gloves a stumping chance when Hales runs at Badree and misses. Ramdin was unsighted but should probably have reacted quicker. Badree's final over costs eight and, in the context of a high-scoring game*, West Indies will be well pleased with his spell: 4-0-20-0.

* Theoretically.

9th over: England 53-2 (target 180; Hales 34, Bairstow 17) Hales brings up the fifty, and the fifty partnership, with a single off Narine. That's one of only four singles from an excellent over. England need 127 from 66 balls. Oof.

"Bairstow may be better walking off," says Andrew Hurley. "He is really struggling." I'm a bit worried about him in the Tests in India, especially if they prepare bunsens. He is essentially brilliant, though. It's just that we might need to be patient with some of those young English batsmen over the next two years. And we know how patient English cricket fans are.

WICKET! England 55-3 (Bairstow c Pollard b Gayle 18) Chris Gayle comes on to bowl his 50mph yorkers. I'm surprised he doesn't bowl more in limited-overs cricket because he often seems devilishly hard to hit. When Bairstow does try to clout him down the ground, Pollard takes an outrageous running catch at long-on. What a take! Bairstow smashed the ball perfectly straight; it seemed to be going for six but Pollard ran round the boundary to take a nonchalant two-handed catch above his head. Chris Gayle starts jigging at the crease again. He's on the dancefloor, and England are getting a touch-up. Bairstow made a scratchy 18 from 29 balls.

10th over: England 55-3 (target 180; Hales 35, Morgan 0) That was the last ball of the over.

11th over: England 66-3 (target 180; Hales 37, Morgan 7) Ramdin misses another stumpin chance. This was slightly more difficult. The new bowler Samuels saw Hales coming and speared a yorker down the leg side. It hit Ramdin's pads and deflected away. You've just dropped the World Twenty20, mate!

12th over: England 72-3 (target 180; Hales 41, Morgan 9) Here's exclusive footage of Kevin Pietersen's analysis of England's performance.

13th over: England 86-3 (target 180; Hales 54, Morgan 10) Samuels' second over goes for 14. Hales screams him down the ground and then sweet-spots a six over midwicket to reach his fifty from 36 balls. His innings has been very good; it's just that the others have made 28 for three from 39 balls.

14th over: England 96-3 (target 180; Hales 56, Morgan 17) Eoin Morgan backs up too far, so Chris Gayle gives him a warning by... actually I've no idea how to describe what he did. He stood by the stumps waving the ball around with a huge smile on his face. No teeth were visible later in the over when Morgan hoicked a low full toss for six. Ultimately, however, that was a decent over for the West Indies; ten from it. England need 84 from 36 balls.

15th over: England 110-3 (target 180; Hales 59, Morgan 28) Sunil Narine returns to the attack. How do you hit Narine for 14 runs per over? Swiping him straight down the ground for six, as Eoin Morgan just has, is a decent starting point. A flurry of ones and twos mean that England do take 14 from the over. They need 70 off 30 balls – or precisely 14 an over.

16th over: England 119-3 (need 61 from 24 balls; Hales 61, Morgan 35) A handy final over from Gayle goes for only nine. Hales, sent back by Morgan, survives a tight run-out referral thanks to a desperate dive. Morgan muscles four to long on, aided by a rare misfield from Pollard, and then top edges a sweep that goes over the keeper's head and somehow lands safely.

17th over: England 134-3 (need 46 from 18 balls; Hales 62, Morgan 49) Ravi Rampaul comes back to bowl only the fourth over of pace in the innings. Morgan top edges a slog sweep for six – and then Russell saves four runs with an amazing piece of fielding. Morgan picked Rampaul up over the square leg boundary, apparently for six, but Russell, leaping backwards over the fence, caught the ball and threw it back into play before his feet touched the ground. If we tried that we would pull muscles we didn't know existed. England do still get 15 from the over, however, with Morgan running outside off stump to ramp a boundary over short fine leg. Morgan, who has played superbly, has 49 from 24 balls.

18th over: England 141-3 (need 39 from 12 balls; Hales 65, Morgan 52) Sunil Narine replaces Chris Gayle. Morgan drags a single to reach a 25-ball fifty, but it's an excellent and probably match-winning over from Narine. Just seven from it, none in boundaries, so now England need 39 from two overs. Hales looks shattered.

19th over: England 157-3 (need 23 from 6 balls; Hales 68, Morgan 65) England are just about still in this game. They need 23 from six balls – 23 from six balls! – after Rampaul's final over went for 16. Morgan swished a lovely six over long-off before beasting another – his fifth six of the innings – over wide mid-on. He has 65 from only 32 balls. Crucially, Rampaul's over contained two dot balls as well.

19.1 overs: England 161-3 (need 19 from 5 balls) Marlon Samuels will bowl the final over, an inspired/catastrophic decision from the captain Darren Sammy. Morgan is on strike, and he will probably have to take all six balls if England are to win. Three sixes and a four and a two will do it. Morgan hammers the first ball down the ground for four despite a wonderful attempt to save from Pollard at long-off.

19.2 overs: England 161-3 (need 19 from 4 balls) A dot ball. A yorker that Morgan couldn't get away. That should be that.

19.3 overs: England 162-3 (need 18 from 3 balls) A single to extra cover. Hales needs three consecutive sixes to win the match.

WICKET! England 162-4 (Hales st Ramdin b Samuels 70) It's all over. Hales is stumped off Samuels, who bowled a clever yorker wide of off stump. Hales just ran past it. He played well to make 68 from 51 balls, although he ran out of steam towards the end.

20th over: England 164-4. WEST INDIES WIN BY 15 RUNS That's it. England fought back well, with Eoin Morgan making a stunning 71 not out from 36 balls, but in the end they were comfortably beaten. Morgan needed to come in at No4, although I can understand why England held him back in what were unique circumstances. They have much to think about before they meet New Zealand on Saturday. It's likely, though not certain, that the loser of that game, won't make it through to the semi-finals. See you for that game. Thanks for your emails; night.

World Twenty20 2012World Twenty20England cricket teamWest Indies cricket teamCricketRob Smyth
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The Spin | How do you plan the perfect cricket World Cup?

The World Twenty20 format has not been perfect, but it is infinitely superior to the structure for the 50-over competition

Just as you are not really a stand-up comedian until you have been viciously heckled, so you're not really a World Cup until the world has had a bit of moan about your format. The World Twenty20 has been subject to such criticism for the first time in the last week. The basic format, consistent across all four World T20s, is fine: four groups of three supplying a short but necessary preamble before we get down to brass tacks in the Super Eights. The difference this time is that the game between the two biggest sides has sometimes been last, and thus a dead fixture. The solution is simple: keep the same format for the next World T20 but ensure the first fixture in each group is between the two highest-ranked sides. Next stop, the science of rockets.

The complaints about this World T20 got the Spin thinking about the 50-over World Cup, a perennial source of format angst. Across 10 World Cups, going back to 1975, there have been a series of different formats. We've had Super Sixes, Super Eights, groups of four, six and seven in the first stage of the tournament, and even a full league in 1992. Yet none have truly worked.

The Spin is horrified to note that, in 2015, the ICC will persist with the format for last year's World Cup. The 2011 tournament was good fun for the most part, but the never-ending first group stage only worked because England's endearing haplessness infused it with considerable drama. Even then, the eight quarter-finalists were as expected when the tournament started. It took 30 days and 42 games to confirm the bleedin' obvious. It was like a film with a 75-minute first act and 15 minutes for the last two acts.

The tournament was a minor success in spite rather than because of a format that an Observer editorial called "a travesty". And it was still far from satisfactory. By the end of the tournament, the Spin was as spent as it has ever been in its working life. Goodness knows how the players felt.

It's easy to be critical of the ICC – and there will be plenty of time for that in 2015 – but we should recognise the difficulty of its task. There are unique problems in constructing a foolproof format for a cricket World Cup; even so, surely it cannot be beyond the wit of man. After the draining 2003 competition, the Spin had this conversation with Martin Williamson, then the managing editor of Wisden.com. He suggested a format that we thought worked perfectly. Sadly neither party can remember what it was. It's as useless as the great lines Jerry Seinfeld wrote down in his sleep and couldn't decipher the following morning.

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Australia v West Indies – as it happened | Rob Smyth

Australia beat West Indies by 17 runs on Duckworth/Lewis in an entertaining match that included 17 sixes

Preamble Hello. Everyone has their speciality, from Betty Turpin's Hotpot to Big Hefty's ability to drink a yard of ale in 12.42 seconds and not decorate nearby walls with special carrots. Twenty20 cricket is the specialty of most West Indies cricketers these days. In fact there is a pretty simple rule of thumb with West Indies: the smaller the game, the bigger their chances. They'd be killer at Noughtpointone0.1. And they are pretty handy at Twenty20, with a genuine chance of winning their first World Cup since Viv Richards, Collis King and Joel Garner savaged England at Lord's in 1979.

They start their campaign against Australia today with a side that includes some of the biggest names in this form of the game: Chris Gayle, the Bradman of T20, Dwayne Bravo, Kieron Pollard and Sunil Narine. But you never really know with the West Indies. Their promises of a return to form have usually been about as reliable as Noel Gallagher's promises that his latest album is a return to form. It does feel different this time, mind, and it would be great for world cricket. What the world needs now isn't love, sweet love; it's not even the iPhone5; it's West Indies winning a World Cup playing swashbuckling cricket.

West Indies have won the toss and will slog first. Chris Gayle has apparently been warming up in pantaloons.

The teams

West Indies Gayle, Devon Smith, Charles, Samuels, Dwayne Bravo, Pollard, Sammy (c), Ramdin (wk), Narine, Rampaul, F Edwards.

Australia Watson, Warner, M Hussey, Bailey (c), White, Maxwell, Wade (wk), Christian, Hogg, Cummins, Starc.

Here comes Chris Gayle. He's no longer wearing pantaloons, but he does at least have a top on. And a bandana, which is protruding from the back of his helmet. He dances onto the field, skipping left and right. In the parlance on our time, he bloody loves it. Put your knitting away, Chris Gayle is batting!

1st over: West Indies 8-0 (Dwayne Smith 2, Gayle 1) Chris Gayle theatrically offers no stroke to his first ball from Shane Watson. He usually likes to take a little bit of time to get his eye in. The second delivery to Gayle is an excellent short ball that smacks him on the helmet and flies away for four leg byes.

WICKET! Australia 8-1 (Dwayne Smith b Starc 2) The left-arm seamer Mitchell Starc knocks Dwayne Smith over with a beauty. It was angled across the right-hander and then swung back sharply through the gate to peg back the off stump. A bona fide jaffa.

2nd over: West Indies 11-1 (Gayle 2, Charles 2) Johnson Charles is the new batsman.

3rd over: West Indies 11-1 (Gayle 2, Charles 2) Come on, somebody must be reading this. Pat Cummins has come on to replace Watson, and he starts with a brilliant maiden that includes two excellent yorkers and three consecutive play-and-misses from Johnson Charles.

4th over: West Indies 25-1 (Gayle 5, Charles 12) Chris Gayle's slow starts to his T20 innings are a crucial part of the theatre. Everyone knows it's coming; they just don't know when. He finally launches into his ninth delivery, from Starc, and is dropped by Shane Watson! Gayle sliced it miles in the air towards third man, where Watson shelled a tricky low chance as he fell forward. Johnson Charles slugs the next ball brutally over midwicket for six and drags four more to long leg.

"Are pantaloons still a thing?" says Danielle Tolson. "I know you have Jess Cartner-Morley for this stuff, but what's the definition? Also, who's most likely now to wear a cravat on the pitch, Douglas Jardine style?" Surely it has to be Ravi Bopara after his recent handshaking exploits?

5th over: West Indies 43-1 (Gayle 23, Charles 12) The beast has stirred. Gayle has just taken Pat Cummins' second over for 18! He screamed a full, wide delivery over point, pulled consecutive boundaries to midwicket, and picked the last ball up over square leg for a mighty six!

"I can see that The Guardian's reporting that KP made the valid point that the IPL and BBL made Luke Wright a better T20 cricketer," says SB Tang. "Equally, we Australians should definitely thank Yorkshire — Starc's stint there this summer clearly made him a better limited-overs bowler. That ball to Smith was an absolute jaffa!"

WICKET! West Indies 47-2 (Charles b Christian 16) Johnson Charles falls in strange circumstances. The ball from Christian followed Charles, hit him on the glove and then dribbled via his body back onto the stumps.

6th over: West Indies 53-2 (Gayle 27, Samuels 1) Gayle makes room to his first ball from Christian and slaughters a cut stroke through the covers for four. He's swinging like Leatherface, and it's spectacular entertainment. "Is there a better sight in T20," says John Morgan than Chris Gayle in full flow?" Is there heck. It's not just the sight, it's the consistency. His record is staggering.

7th over: West Indies 62-2 (Gayle 35, Samuels 2) When a man enters his forties, he doesn't need too much stress or excitement; he just wants the quiet life, right? Well. Brad Hogg, aged 41, is about to bowl to Chris Gayle. He might be having a midlife crisis in five minutes' time if Gayle goes after him. After a good start to the over from Hogg, Gayle drives a languid, almost effortless six over mid on. That was hilarious, just a gentle swing and the ball travelled 80 miles. Gayle made 5 from his first nine deliveries; since then he has 30 from 12.

8th over: West Indies 80-2 (Gayle 51, Samuels 3) The offspinner Glenn Maxwell's first ball is flighted onto off stump. Can you guess which part of the ground Gayle deposited it for six? It was long-on this time, again with a stunning, lazy swing of the bat. There's a big shout for LBW against Gayle later in the over. I think it was going down leg; more importantly so did Aleem Dar. Gayle punishes Maxwell for his impudence, heaving the next ball over midwicket for a 95-metre six! One ball left ... and how did that miss the stumps?! Gayle got the thinnest inside edge that took the ball this far past the leg stump and away for four. The boundary takes Gayle to a magnificent, utterly ludicrous half-century from only 26 balls. And he was five not out after nine balls.

"Re. the fourth over: surely that would require Ravi Bopara to be on a cricket pitch?" says Dan Lucas. "And no one really wants to see that any time soon, do they?" Now now. I feel really sorry for Ravi. It's only two months since he seemed on the brink of his big breakthrough.

9th over: West Indies 88-2 (Gayle 52, Samuels 10) After the power (and, in fairness, timing) of Gayle, now we see the class of Samuels with a delicious square drive for four off Christian. West Indies have scored 77 off the last six overs.

"Lest this become dating advice," says Danielle Tolson, "but Ravi Bopara's handshake showed what a gentleman he was (he'd be a safe escort home from the pub) and that picture of Chris Gayle is becoming more creepy and greasy as the game goes on." Hang on, are you saying modern women are happy to shake hands on the first date? What a bunch of harlots!

10th over: West Indies 93-2 (Gayle 54, Samuels 12) An excellent, order-restoring over from Mitchell Starc costs just five, all singles. "Readers of the football clockwatch might be forgiven for supposing I'd be all out of brain vomit by now, but a new Hollywood Anna Karenina, yeah?" says Phil Podolsky. "I mean, I honestly, non-hyperbolically prefer a visit to the dentist over film adaptations of books I happen to love, esp the Russian ones. But then Ruth Wilson's in it, and I'm not gonna pretend not to harbour a ghastly obsession ever since I've seen her in Luther. What's an obsession-prone gentleman to do?"

WICKET! West Indies 93-3 (Gayle ct and b Watson 54) Shane Watson has got Chris Gayle! It's amazing how often Watson takes important wickets for Australia. This came with the first delivery of a new spell. It might just have stopped on the pitch, and Gayle got a leading edge as he tried to turn the ball to leg. It popped up on the off side and Watson ran to his right to take the catch. Gayle made a thrilling 54 from 33 balls, with five fours and four sixes.

11th over: West Indies 97-3 (Samuels 14, Dwayne Bravo 2) "Before the tournament, I thought WI were one of the favourites but the conditions(and not having played together much) might hamper them," says Sathish. "But the conditions are the exact opposite of what you would expect in the sub-continent. Could be a rare case of a non sub-continental team winning in the sub-continent. Who do you think is going to win the thing?" I have even less of a clue than usual. Predicting a T20 winner is an eejit's game.

12th over: West Indies 99-3 (Samuels 15, Dwayne Bravo 3) "Not reading here!" shouts Matthew Wade when Hogg turns one back to hit Samuels in the thigh. The next one spins the other way, past Samuels attempted off-side slap. An excellent over from Hogg; two from it.

13th over: West Indies 111-3 (Samuels 26, Dwayne Bravo 4) That's an awesome shot from Samuels, who makes room when there seemed to be none and times Christian to third man. He plays an even better stroke off the final delivery, driving a stunning six over extra cover. Twelve from the over.

"I'm here, watching and reading Down Under," says Sarah Whatman. "Watching on Channel 9, which has recently shown a 70s-tastic miniseries called Howzat! Kerry Packer's War. Could provide inspiration for anyone taking part in Movember, though I doubt somehow that the Beeb will be buying the rights. Is the Women's World 20-20 happening at the same time? Who are the favourites?" It sure is. England hammered South Africa today and are the favourites, I think.

14th over: West Indies 124-3 (Samuels 36, Dwayne Bravo 6) Samuels mistimes Hogg for six! He hasn't been picking Hogg and got a leading edge that kept travelling and just cleared the leaping Maxwell on the fence at long-off. A pull past short fine leg for four more makes it 13 from the over. West Indies are in a great position here.

"Samuels's inside-out cover drive for six was the shot of the tournament!" says SB Tang. "That's an insanely difficult shot to execute."

15th over: West Indies 138-3 (Samuels 49, Dwayne Bravo 7) Watson's fourth ball is full and straight. Samuels attacks it with an axeman's backlift, swiping it high over mid on for another huge six. Remember when a six in international cricket was almost a JFK moment? Not anymore. Samuels makes it two in two balls with the sweetest of swivel pulls into the crowd at backward square leg. "HOWZAT – a timely link," says Danielle Tolson. Oh my. The lead singer. Look at that look!

WICKET! West Indies 140-4 (Samuels c Warner b Hogg 50) Samuels drives Hogg straight to long on to end a fine innings. He played at Gayle's pace: 50 from 32 balls, with three fours and four sixes.

16th over: West Indies 145-4 (Dwayne Bravo 9, Pollard 4) Kieron Pollard, who is quite the unit, strides menacingly to the crease and drives his first ball disdainfully down the ground for a one-bounce four. Dear me, what a stroke to play first ball. Hogg ends with figures of 4-0-30-1.

17th over: West Indies 158-4 (Dwayne Bravo 19, Pollard 6) What an extraordinary stroke this is from Dwayne Bravo. Cummins aimed a full, wide delivery on around a sixth-stump line, and Bravo launched his whole body towards it to drive it high over point for six! That shot oozed Caribbean flamboyance. Cummins bowls a front-foot no-ball later in the over, but concedes only a single from the free hit. Thirteen from the over. After a slow start, West Indies have scored 147 from the last 14. If Pollard goes mad they could still make 200.

WICKET! West Indies 162-5 (Pollard c M Hussey b Watson 10) Mike Hussey takes a brilliant catch to get rid of the dangerous Pollard. He flicked a low full toss from Watson to deep midwicket, where Hussey sprinted in and dived forward to take a beautifully judged low catch.

18th over: West Indies 165-5 (Dwayne Bravo 21, Sammy 1) Watson finishes with figures of 4-0-29-2.

WICKET! West Indies 171-6 (Dwayne Bravo b Cummins 27) Bravo makes room to slap Cummins over extra cover, misses and is bowled middle stump. He made a useful 27 from 21 balls.

19th over: West Indies 175-6 (Sammy 1, Ramdin 4) Pat Cummins, who started his spell with a maiden, ends with figures of 4-1-41-1. I can exclusively reveal that those figures are unique in the 135 years of international cricket.

WICKET! West Indies 187-7 (Sammy c Warner b Starc 12) Sammy smashed one straight six off Starc and falls aiming for a repeat, with Warner taking an immaculate catch running in from long-off. That went ridiculously high in the air, yet Warner never looked like dropping it. Two balls remaining.

YEH DINESH TALK NAH! West Indies 187-8 (Ramdin b Starc 3) Ramdin makes too much room and is cleaned up by Starc, bowling around the wicket. Two wickets in two balls.

20th over: West Indies 191-8 (Rampaul 0, Narine 4) Sunil Narine slaps his first ball, the last of the innings, over extra cover for four. That was a fantastic shot! And that's a fine effort from the West Indies, who are surely favourites to win this match after a riotously entertaining batting performance. Australia need 192 to win. How they play Narine will probably decide the match. See you in a few minutes for their reply.

INNINGS BREAK

1st over: Australia 8-0 (target 192; Warner 7, Watson 0) Australia surely have the best opening partnership in Twenty20, although Edwards almost ends the partnership first ball with a brilliant full-length inswinger that just misses Warner's off stump. He responds with a flashing extra-cover drive for four.

2nd over: Australia 30-0 (target 192; Warner 28, Watson 0) Ravi Rampaul's first over has disappeared for 22! His first ball is short, wide and uppercut deliberately for six by Warner, who then drives sweetly to long-off for a one-bounce four. Rampaul follows that with the short ball, and Warner swivel-pulls it magnificently round the corner for six more! A front-foot no-ball means a free hit, which Warner inside edges to the fine leg boundary. Crikey.

WICKET! Australia 30-1 (Warner c Ramdin b Edwards 28) David Warner is furious about this decision. He launched into a huge drive at Edwards, and the ball seemed to go past the outside edge before being taken by Ramdin. But Ramdin and Edwards were convinced it was out – and so was the umpire Asad Rauf. Warner walks off shaking his head having made an exhilarating 28 from 14 balls. That's a big wicket for the West indies.

3rd over: Australia 38-1 (target 192; Watson 2, M Hussey 6) There was a noise as the ball passed Warner's bat, although you can't see any deviation. Warner clearly thought it wasn't out. It does seem a bit daft not to have any reviews in T20. I know it's a fast-moving game but you could surely have one per team. Anyway, Mike Hussey is in and he gets going by cutting a piece of rubbish from Edwards for four. Wild is the Windies bowling right now.

4th over: Australia 42-1 (target 192; Watson 4, M Hussey 8) This is a good move from Darren Sammy, who has brought on Sunil Narine to restore some order. He gave Australia all sorts of problems in the 50-over series earlier this year. Narine is such a threat that Australia might just sit on him and aim for figures of 4-0-20-1, something like that. That's what they do during the first over, which goes for four singles.

5th over: Australia 50-1 (target 192; Watson 5, M Hussey 14) Mike Hussey mis-pulls Darren Sammy's first ball just short of mid-on. He gets hold of him later in the over, smashing a big six over wide mid-on. That brings up the fifty from only 4.4 overs; it's been a storming start from Australia.

6th over: Australia 62-1 (target 192; Watson 14, M Hussey 16) Watson pulls Narine fractionally short of Dwayne Smith, running in from deep midwicket. Then Narine bowls a front-foot no-ball, which means a free hit and the chance for Australia to attack him without fear. Watson does just that, slog-sweeping handsomely for six. That's been an outstanding Powerplay for Australia: 62 from six overs, and two of those were bowled by Narine. West Indies need a wicket.

7th over: Australia 69-1 (target 192; Watson 17, M Hussey 21) This is the key partnership. Australia have some good players to come but none with the authority and ability of these two. I'm not sure I'd fancy that lower order against Narine with a required rate of 12 an over. Sammy gets one to burst from a length at Watson, who fences it short of backward point. Just three from the first five deliveries, but then Hussey walks over to the off side to flick a superb boundary behind square leg. He is a master in this form of the game.

8th over: Australia 91-1 (target 192; Watson 38, M Hussey 22) Marlon Samuels replaces Sunil Narine and disappears for 22! A short ball is pulled savagely through midwicket for four by Watson, who then drives over long-off for the fifth six of the innings. Make that six sixes: Watson has been dropped for six by Dwayne Smith! He pulled Samuels straight to Smith at deep midwicket; it was at face height, a relatively straightforward chance, but Smith spilled it over his shoulder for six. Watson completes a stunning over with another pull through square leg for four.

9th over: Australia 99-1 (target 192; Watson 40, M Hussey 28) Australia have scored at 11 an over for eight overs, and yet the required rate is still over eight. Is this cricket? The extent to which the game has changed since the turn of the century is mind-blowing. Mike Hussey pulls the new bowler Dwayne Bravo round the corner for another boundary in an eight-run over. Never mind a wicket; West Indies urgently need a dot ball.

RAIN STOPS PLAY. 9.1 overs: Australia 100-1 (target 192; Watson 41, M Hussey 28) Crikey, where did that come from? All of a sudden it's blootering down in Colombo, and the groundsmen are urgently doing their thing. You won't be surprise to hear that Australia are ahead on Duckworth/Lewis – well ahead, in fact, by 19 runs.

5.44pm It's still raining. I'm talking to myself aren't I.

5.47pm "What are the odds of more play?" says John Goldstein. "I'm sure every Irish cricket fan is doing a rain dance at the moment as they still have a slim chance on Monday against the West Indies if this is finished for the day."

I suspect it's unlikely, because it is teeming down in Colombo.

5.52pm "Here's something to keep you entertained whilst the rain buckets down, 'Shane Watson: A Care Bear in the Body of a Nordic Superhero'," says SB Tang. "I still remember the days when Watto first came into the Australian limited-overs setup and couldn't hit over the top ... He's certainly changed that. Credit to him!"

Back in 2005, everyone in England found it oh so hilarious that Australia wanted to make Watson their Andrew Flintoff. I'd still take Freddie in Test cricket, but Watson will finish his career with better stats in all three forms of the game.

It's a shame about rain, with Sara Torvalds "T20 is too short a format to allow for rain. Stop it!" Let me close my eyes and squeeze my face really hard, see if that works.

5.55pm Colombo, a few minutes ago. It doesn't look good.

6.05pm It's still hammering down. There's no chance of any more play.

6.11pm The umpires have officially called the game off, so Australia win by 17 runs and move into the last eight. The West Indies play Ireland on Monday to decide the other Super Eights place. Ta for your emails; night.

6.14pm Hang on, apparently the game isn't officially off yet. Bah!

6.16pm Okay, it's definitely off now. Australia win, Shane Watson is the Man of the Match for the second game in a row, I'm going home. Night.

World Twenty20 2012World Twenty20CricketOver by over reportsAustralia cricket teamWest Indies cricket teamRob Smyth
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Sri Lanka v South Africa – as it happened | Rob Smyth

South Africa romped to victory over the hosts in a match that was reduced to seven overs per side

Preamble It's a bit early to be quaffing 7 and 7s, so let's try, er, the next best thing: a Seven7 between Sri Lanka and South Africa in Hambantota. There has been a lot of rain, hence the reduced match, but it looks like we will start at 1.30pm British time. Excuse the Sky Sports News-esque hype, but it my duty to report that this game is almost entirely meaningless. Those who have staked their entire copper jar on Ajantha Mendis to be the tournament's top wicket-taker might think otherwise.

Sri Lanka have won the toss and will bowl first. That makes sense in a short game, as they will know precisely what they need to chase. Ajantha Mendis misses out with side knack; Rangana Herath comes in. The batting orders will doubtless be fiddled with, given the seven-over format.

Sri Lanka Munaweera, Dilshan, Jayawardene (c), Sangakkara (wk), Mathews, Thirimanne, Perera, J Mendis, Kulasekara, Herath, Malinga.

South Africa Levi, Amla, Kallis, de Villiers (c/wk), Duminy, du Plessis, Behardien, A Morkel, Botha, Steyn, M Morkel.

This may well be the first OBO to be read by precisely nobody. Am I wrong?

So what's a good score in Seven7? 70? 90? 100? Maybe 10 is a good score. England, bless them, were nine for none after seven overs against South Africa at the 2007 World Cup.

WICKET! South Africa 4-1 (Levi c b Kulasekera 4) Tony Greig is going doolally in the commentary box after a fantastic catch from Munaweera. Levi spooned a slower ball from Kulasekera high in the air, and Munaweera sprinted back from mid-on before diving forward to take a beauty.

1st over of seven: South Africa 8-1 (Amla 5, du Plessis 0) Amla slaps his first ball over cover for four. "Not that I'm in the market for the Guardian Soulmates site, Rob, but that pic of Chis Gayle on the West Indies OBO with just 'Preamble: Hello' underneath was there for a tantalisingly long time. Is it a deliberate cross-promotion thing?" What can I say. We all get a little lonely sometimes.

2nd over of seven: South Africa 21-1 (Amla 15, du Plessis 0) Amla drives Lasith Malinga's first ball supremely over extra cover for four – and does it again to the fourth ball. Both were beautiful, orthodox shots. Amla would even look elegant in a game of One1. He'd probably look elegant in a game of Twister. What a player. "7Seven?" sniffs Guy Hornsby. "This is basically a few super overs isn't it? Personally, I'm looking forward to the boring middle overs. I may put a cuppa on."

WICKET! South Africa 27-2 (Amla st Sangakkara b Herath 16) A marvellous stumping from Kumar Sangakkara gets rid of Hashim Amla. He charged Rangana Herath and missed a wild heave across the line. So much for elegance. Sangakkara, despite being unsighted, took the ball down the leg side and had the bails off in a flash.

3rd over of seven: South Africa 27-2 (du Plessis 6, de Villiers 0) "Afternoon Rob!" says the ever chirpy Ryan Dunne. "I'm reading, although I probably wont stay for the whole thing (I've still to watch the Mel Brooks edition of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee) . My apologies if you were planning to bunk off from OBO duties and hope nobody noticed ;)"

4th over of seven: South Africa 35-2 (du Plessis 12, de Villiers 2) Mathews is the latest bowler. Munaweera at mid-on misses a chance to run out de Villiers. South Africa aren't really swinging at everything; they have been content to work the ball around a pretty large outfield. Nine from Mathews' over, none in boundaries.

"Yes, you're wrong!" says Julia Gilbertson. I think she's referring to the suggestion that nobody is reading, although it's the fairest cop on a few thousand other counts as well.

5th over of seven: South Africa 50-2 (du Plessis 13, de Villiers 16) Do these now count as the death overs, or do we have to wait for the sixth over of the innings for that? This is a death over in nature if not name, because Herath has disappeared for 15. de Villiers reverse swept his first ball for four – the first boundary since the second over – and then hoicked a mighty six over long on. He has 14 from six; du Plessis has 15 from 11.

WICKET! South Africa 65-3 (de Villiers c Mendis b Malinga 30) The fearlessness and raw talent – genius, even – of de Villiers is perfect for a shortened game like this. He slaughters Lasith Malinga over midwicket for six, scampers four consecutive twos – and then drives to mid off to end a superb cameo of 30 from only 13 balls.

6th over of seven: South Africa 65-3 (du Plessis 13, Duminy 0) "The thing is, Rob, Greigy is morphing into his 12th Man lampoon at an extraordinary rate of knots," says Rob Jacques. "It's like a dog's owner growing to look like his pet. Marvellous." Morvellous indeed.

WICKET! South Africa 68-4 (du Plessis c Mendis b Perera 13) Faf du Plessis drills Perera straight to long off. This is turning into a great last over for Sri Lanka, with just three runs from the first four balls.

7th over of seven: South Africa 78-4 (Duminy 12, A Morkel 0) Duminy scoops the penultimate delivery over his shoulder for a one-bounce four before smashing the last ball down the ground for six! He ends with 12 from five balls, and South Africa have set an imposing target of 79. See you in approximately 14 seconds' time for Sri Lanka's run-chase.

INNINGS BREAK

WICKET! Sri Lanka 4-1 (Dilshan run out 0) Tillakaratne Dilshan is run out without facing. Jayawardene, who has pushed himself up the order, wanted a quick single to extra cover. Dilshan was ballwatching and set off late. The throw went in to de Villiers, who ran forward and dived to break the stumps. It wasn't quite the full Jonty Rhodes but that was still a brilliant piece of keeping. There was a collision between de Villiers and Dilshan, with both men diving into each other. That could have been pretty unpleasant but they both seem to be okay.

1st over: Sri Lanka 5-1 (target 79 from seven overs; Jayawardene 4, Munaweera 1) Jayawardene was also fortunate to survive a big LBW shout first ball. It was hitting the top of leg stump. "I'll be here for the whole match just in case there's a nail-biting finish," says Clare Davies. "Also I've nothing else to do until after 3pm. It's already been worth it as SL got Amla's wicket and it's a rare treat to see him leave the field!"

WICKET! Sri Lanka 8-2 (Jayawardene c Behardien b Steyn 4) An outstanding over from Steyn, in which he beat the bat three times, concludes with the big wicket of Mahela Jayawardene. He lifted the ball high in the air on the leg side, and Behardien at deep midwicket took a straightforward catch.

2nd over: Sri Lanka 8-2 (target 79 from seven overs; Munaweera 4, Sangakkara 0) Sri Lanka need 71 from 30 balls. Best of luck with that, gentlemen. "Why has the match been reduced to seven overs each?" says Michael Bulley. "As far as I can see, no other match is scheduled for later today on the ground. So why couldn't they carry on and have 20 overs each? It would finish before the Aus / WI match, which is being played elsewhere." I assume it's for TV. If they played a 20-over match it would cross over with the West Indies game, which starts in half an hour. And I'd have to write two OBOs at the same time.

3rd over: Sri Lanka 13-2 (target 79 from seven overs; Munaweera 6, Sangakkara 2) Sri Lanka can't get going against South Africa's outstanding new-ball pair. Munaweera misses a mow at a beauty from Morne Morkel that only just shaves the of stump – and then Sangakkara is dropped du Plessis. He sliced a leg-side slap miles in the air towards third man, where the usually flawless du Plessis spilled a difficult running chance. Only five from the over, however, and now Sri Lanka need 16.5 runs per over.

4th over: Sri Lanka 22-2 (target 79 from seven overs; Munaweera 7, Sangakkara 10) Sangakkara drives Botha inside out for four, a high-class stroke. One boundary from the over is not enough, however. Sri Lanka require 57 from 18 balls to win.

WICKET! Sri Lanka 30-3 (Sangakkara c de Villiers b Kallis 13 Jacques Kallis snares yet another wicket. Kumar Sangakkara was dropped earlier in the over, a dolly to Albie Morkel, but fell when he top edged a disgusting swipe to AB de Villiers.

5th over: Sri Lanka 31-3 (target 79 from seven overs; Munaweera 11, Perera 1) Sri Lanka need 48 from two overs. Twelve fours, job done.

WICKET! Sri Lanka 32-4 (Perera c Duminy b Steyn 1) Perera slogs Steyn straight to deep midwicket. Sri Lanka need 47 from 10 balls.

6th over: Sri Lanka 38-4 (target 79 from seven overs; Munaweera 12, Mendis 5) Dale Steyn ends with figures of 2-0-10-2. Sri Lanka require 41 from the last over to win.

WICKET! Sri Lanka 40-5 (Munaweera c Behardien b A Morkel 13) Munaweera cuts Albie Morkel straight to the cover sweeper.

7th over: Sri Lanka 46-5. SOUTH AFRICA WIN BY 32 RUNS That's a mighty margin of victory in a seven-over game and, although you shouldn't read too much into such games, South Africa look lean and mean at the moment. Thanks for your emails; I'm off to OBO the Australia/West Indies match. Bye!

World Twenty20 2012South Africa cricket teamWorld Twenty20Sri Lanka cricket teamOver by over reportsCricketRob Smyth
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