Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 121

Botticelli's Hot Babe Molested by the Chimera-Beast of Bufflax XII

Okay, this one is actually called The Birth of Venus, and it was painted sometime between 1485-86 for Lorenzo di Pierfrancesco de' Medici, who was nicknamed Popolano; this was because he always brought lots of nice drugs to the cool parties. (He was a noted patron of the arts, and Sandro Botticelli was especially fond of Popolano's "special" mushroom pasta.)

I'd say this is arguably one of the most famous paintings of the early renaissance, and it has certainly maintained its popularity. I w...

Edvard Munch's Face-Melting Attack of the Tragdorg Armada

Okay, so it's really just called The Scream, and was painted in 1893. That doesn't make it any less disturbing though. Here's how Munch described what inspired it:

I was walking along a path with two friends — the sun was setting — suddenly the sky turned blood red — I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on the fence — there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city — my friends walked on, and I stood there trembling with anxiety — and I sensed an infinite...

Van Gogh's Close Encounters with the Slorg-Men of Auculus VI

Kidding! It's Van Gogh's Starry Night, painted while staying at an Asylum in Saint-Remy (1889).

I know, now you're itching to hear the theme song, right?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind duet scene.
Alltop does a great humor impression. Meme begun by Archer and Lawyerworldland. Read the comments to see the explanation of what the hell is going on by Asbestos Dust.

Derivative Python: Nudge, Nudge

Squire:

What do you mean by SLEPT?

Man:

Mooooooh, ay?. You know Squire. SLEPT.

Squire:

As in: had sexual intercourse?

(pause)

Man:

Uh, yes. I suppose that is the technical term for it.

Squire:

(pedantically)

And do you know, precisely, what that entails?

(pause)

Man:

I'm sorry?

Squire:

Have you any idea what actually happens?

Man:

Mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?

[makes rude gesture:]

Squire:
(stiffly)
Yes, yes, I see what you're doing there, but do you know what it...

Anyone fancy a pint?

This approach would have made The Hurt Locker much more believable:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Also on YouTube direct.

Alltop only drinks shandy.

Vital Fluid: A Mesmerizing Review

In 1779 Anton Mesmer proposed everything in the universe influenced everything else, and this was accomplished through "fluid universally diffused." It is this premise that is the driving influence of Tom Bradley's 2009 novel, Vital Fluid.

The story follows two sets of rival hypnotists; Phil Deacon, scion of an old-style showbiz family, and his nemesis, Simon Magus, who occupy center stage in our century. Their story is paralleled by the tale of historical mesmerist Charles LaFontaine, and h...

Until you invent a lunch gun, I'll have the failure pile in a sadness bowl

America has spoken, KFC! They don't want to waste precious calories chewing.

Patton Oswald talks food, fat and character actors! Don't miss the Green Lantern reference.

Note: Not safe for work because Oswald is a naughty, naughty man, with a potty-mouth. E.g., he says the non-g-rated version of "I want to fill you you-hoo with my love juice."

Click here to view the embedded video.

You can find it at YouTube too.

Alltop loves You-hoo too!

Meat Treat — A Lunchtime Odyssey

I've actually had a job wearing big mascot-like costumes. For a brief period in 1988, I was employed as a singing telegram man, singing birthday greetings, anniversary congratulations and nuptial announcements in a number of places around town. I was able to play guitar and sing, so most of the time, I was given the top hat and tails costume, which yields just a small amount of psychic residue. However, the gorilla suit… (Well, just look around my website, and you'll see it caused a...

Forty-Seven Signs of the Apocalypse (#40)

From the Book of Jerry

And on this day, The Blessed Sisters of Righteousness will curse the local constabulary, and upon them they shall heap scorn. They shall beshrew them with language most colorful, saying they are "spawn of cross-eyed turd farmers" and "tedious conversationalists with halitosis and feet that smell of onion." Truly, they shall cackle.

And their Most Reverent Mother shall expectorate. Ye, verily, She will Hock a Loogie of the Lord.

So it will be, and on this day, the...

Vampire Kitteh

I can haz hoo-man bludz?
Alltop is more worried about Werewolf Puppies. vampire kitten Originally uploaded by sween