Mark A. Rayner's Blog: Mark A. Rayner's Goodreads Blog, page 118

Excruciating Album Cover Art — Tijuana Picnic

Once you've listened to Colonel Sanders' Tijuana Picnic, you'll have a mysterious craving for it every other week.

Based on the sound of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, this is fusion of fast food, Colonel Sanders' questionable taste in beard styles, and a Dadaist aesthetic that is truly penguin. When I first saw this cover I was mesmerized by the tableau. A white Anglo-Saxon family has been kidnapped by Colonel Sanders and forced to eat his trademark fried chicken. (In Mexico, the...

Excruciating Album Cover Art — Milk Man

As you can see, the Milk Man has been attacked by a homicidal maniac armed with fresh fruit.

Not only has he been brutally stabbed in his androgynous hip and armpit with a banana, the hermaphroditic and ghostly Milk Man has been brained with a strawberry.

Lucky for him the attacker wasn't packing a pineapple. Then his number would have been up for sure.

Now, most of us would be dead at this point, but as I've pointed out, the epicene lactosian decorating this album cover seems to be enjoying...

Contest: win a role in my next novel

Don't miss this opportunity to win a walk-on role in my next book, which is nearing completion. All you have to do is sign up for The MonkeySphere, my monthly newsletter, or join my Facebook page, and you could win:

a chance to appear in a walk-on role in my next book
a chance to win one of three copies of Marvellous Hairy, a novel in five fractals
the exciting chance to have a "mystery" item from my desk sent to you.

Even better, join both — you'll double your chances, and anyone who signs ...

Excruciating Album Cover Art — Satan Is Real

The Louvin Brothers are best known as the brotherly Bible-thumpers who made close harmony acceptable. Prior to the creation of their breakthrough sound (think Everly Brothers with Grand Ole Opry-style gospel music), close harmony singers were routinely burned at the stake for "unnatural" love.

Once they overcame this (terrible) stereotype, they became quite popular, joining the Grand Ole Opry in 1955. Ira Louvin was the charismatic one, and he was known for falling into "fits of faith" when ...

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to yOH MY GOD!

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Is it my imagination, or is the lovely blossom of fire shaped like a mushroom cloud? I hope someone put out that poor man's hair after taking this video.

Alltop hates cake. Really. But they always have room for jello.

Excruciating Album Cover Art — Heino

We're not sure how Paul Zon got the idea for creating a Museum of Bad Album Covers, but it is brilliant, and hilarious. For the moment, The Skwib would like to present (from time to time) samples from the museum with our humble notes:

Heino

We'll begin with this gem from the Fatherland, Heino's 1971 album, "Liebe Mutter…" (Full translation: "Dear Mother … a bouquet that never wilts.") When we first saw this cover, we thought: "so that's what happens when you create a genetic chimera from...

The Big Lebowski D&D Alignment Chart

Those of you who have never played Dungeons & Dragons (D&D), or heard much about it, will not make much sense of this amusing alignment chart. Hell, even those of you who have may not make much sense of it.

I certainly wouldn't recommend you let this chart guide you in your own moral-decision making from day to day. (Click to embiggen.)

Alltop thinks this chart really pulls the whole blog together. Via The Presurfer, via this page of madness. Couldn't figure out who did the chart, and...

You should probably be high when you watch this

Unless you want a laugh.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Double-rainbow mashup with the trippy ending to 2001 also at YouTube.

Alltop has the munchies now.

Ask General Kang: What is the penalty for plagiarism on your planet?

Plagiarism is the "act of stealing the ideas and/or expression of another and representing them as your own," though I can't remember where I got that quote from — just Google it for the source.

On my home planet of Neecknaw, this is not only an academic offence, but it is also a capital crime.

This stems from the days of Kargnak the Betrayed, one of the great warlord monkey rulers of the ancient days. Legend has it that Kargnak was an impressionable young screen-writer before he became the...

A Letter to Town Council: Municipal Investment Strategies for the Technological Singularity

Dear Councilors:

Your town may have an emergency plan, a development plan, a health plan — it may even have a plan for how to fix the potholes (though I doubt it).

But does it have a plan for how to respond to the technological singularity? Is it preparing for all the new economic opportunities? I suspect not.

Now, some have complained that that technological singularity is the "rapture for nerds", but this couldn't be farther from the truth. It is the municipal investment opportunity of...