Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 423
June 4, 2014
June 4, 2014: Spring cleaning!
Viewer reaction to last Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones:
Okay, moving on. Finally.
No. Wait. I wanted to add that, having finished Dance with Dragons, I’m struck by the fact that the t.v. show has already caught up with certain storylines in the book series (ie. the Ramsay Snow arc). Either George R. R. Martin has to pick up the pace, or the show may go on a brief, decade-long sabbatical.
It looks like it’s high time for some better-late-than-never spring cleaning! I’m talking a wholesale clear-out at the personal and professional level! Oh, and my garage (anyone interested in some office furniture, filing cabinets, and a cash register?). No, Akemi isn’t going anywhere (unless she’s willing to give up her mapo tofu recipe). But other many other major changes to come (No, the dogs aren’t going anywhere either).
Today was a total write-off. I’ve stalled on page 40 of my new pilot and didn’t get any reading done as I was busy trying to keep this “house of cards” from collapsing.
I’m off to go peruse some budgets. Wish me luck!
June 3, 2014
June 3, 2014: My Top 10 Most Hated Game of Thrones Characters!
Well, if nothing else, Sunday night’s episode of Game of Thrones (“The Mountain and the Viper”) reaffirmed that old sports adage: “Always play to the whistle.” Having read the book, I saw it coming but, at the same time, I didn’t see it coming.
And so, coming off that shockingly gruesome instalment, I thought it might be nice to follow up my list of My Top 10 Favorite Game of Thrones Characters -
- with a list of My Top 10 Most Hated Game of Thrones Characters.
And, hey, whaddya know! One character has the distinction of appearing on BOTH lists!
10. Bran Stark
Every time this kid appears onscreen, my eyes glaze over and I redirect my attention to far more interesting pursuits – like surfing the net on my handy iPhone. Something about getting somewhere and visions and a big tree…? I don’t care.
9. Theon Greyjoy
He was weak and pathetic even before he fell into the clutches of Ramsay Snow. Can’t muster much sympathy for a guy who murdered two innocent farm boys. But not Bran Stark.
8. Stannis Baratheon
A dull milksop whose ambitions far surpass his limited skill set. Fortunately for him, he’s got a witch in his corner.
7. Tywin Lannister
Worst Dad Ever!
6. Viserys Targaryen
This petulant whiner’s actually reminded me of someone I know. His “crowning” was well-deserved.
5. Robbin Arryn
Forget those precocious and loveable tykes from the Adam Sandler romcoms; THIS kid is what you can look forward to if you have children.
4. Ramsay Snow
Admit it. You too knew this guy in high school and predicted he would someday end up, in his father’s basement, honing his torture skills.
3. Gregor Clegane (The Mountain)
From an honourable mention position to a Top 5 finisher, all on the strength of a single episode!
2. Cersei Lannister
The only character to make both lists, she is that rare someone I love to hate and, alternately, hate to love.
1. Joffrey Baratheon
Not even death mitigates my intense dislike for the sadistic little weasel.
Honorable mentions: Lysa Arryn, Roose Bolton, and Walder Frey/Balon Greyjoy (who I keep thinking are the same guy).
Agree? Disagree? Care to weigh on last Sunday’s episode? The series as a whole?
Thanks to those who took the time to post a comment on this months Book of the Month Club selection, Evening’s Empires. I had a feeling the opinions would be mixed.
Anything else on your mind? Do tell.
Tagged: Game of Thrones
June 2, 2014
June 2, 2014: Our Book of the Month Club reconvenes to discuss Evening’s Empire by Paul McAuley!
“In the far future, a young man stands on a barren asteroid. His ship has been stolen, his family kidnapped or worse, and all he has on his side is a semi-intelligent spacesuit. The only member of the crew to escape, Hari has barely been off his ship before. It was his birthplace, his home and his future. He’s going to get it back. “
It certainly sounds like a focused, revenge-fueled romp but, in reality, Evening’s Empires is actually a sweeping, cerebral tale of betrayal, vengeance, and, surprisingly, family. It’s an ambitious and intelligent novel that is both hard SF and space opera although, to be perfectly honest, it took a while for the story to really capture my interest. For the first fifty pages or so, I was utterly baffled, even frustrated, by the overwhelming denseness of the shifting social landscapes and political and religious paradigms.
The book is incredibly rich in its grand scope world galaxy-building and much of the background history, established and developed in the author’s previous books, can be incredibly confusing for the uninitiated. I had to double (and triple) check that Evening’s Empires was, in fact, a standalone novel that didn’t require any knowledge of McAuley’s other works. The various backstory elements are eventually explained, a little too often in the form of mass conversational info dumps but, once I finally had a better understanding of its foundations, the novel became a far more enjoyable read. Still, partway through, when I came across the line “It’s a maze he lost himself in.” I couldn’t help think “There but for the Grace of God went I”.
At the heart of this book is the mystery of “the bright moment”, a simultaneously shared vision, glimpsed by everyone in the solar system, of a man on a bicycle. Our hero, Hari, is raised on a spaceship where his family plays host to a scientist studying “the bright moment”. Then, one day, their ship is hijacked and Hari is forced to flee – with the scientist’s head and the valuable data it contains. Hari plots to retake his ship but, to do so, he must connect with people from his past and peel the onion on a multi-layered mystery involving religious fanatics, shifting alliances, and dangerous clones.
It all makes for a head-spinning tour-de-force that, I suspect, will leave many readers thoroughly amazed by the novel’s depth and breadth while, simultaneously, leaving just as many thoroughly bewildered.
As an added bonus for the well-read SF fan, the book is divided into six parts titled: Childhood’s End, Marooned Off Vespa, The Caves of Steel, Pirates of the Asteroids, The Cold Equations, and Downward to the Earth. I’m not sure if there was more to it than a simple tip of the hat to the golden age classics, but there’s no denying Evening’s Empire has far more in common with the narratively expansive and challenging works of Alastair Reynolds and Iain M. Banks than it does the works of Clarke, Asimov, and Silverberg.
Let’s get the conversation started. What did you all think of Evening’s Empires?
June 1, 2014
June 1, 2014: My Top 10 Favorite Game of Thrones Characters!
10. Brienne of Tarth
I love the fact that she’s an atypical heroine and I find her sense of honor and principled loyalty so gosh darn endearing.
9. Asha Greyjoy
Equally atypical is the ass-kicking Asha. Love her swagger and no-bullshit attitude.
8. Jonah Mormont
Such a rich, textured and, ultimately, tragic character.
7. Cersei Lannister
Sure, I love to hate her but, at the same time, I understand and even sympathize with her desire to do what’s best for her family. After all, it always comes down family.
6. Jaime Lannister
You’d think it would be hard to sympathize with a character who, in his very introduction, tries to kill a child who stumbles across his incestuous secret rendezvous with his sister – and yet, he’s a charmer.
5. Peter Baelish (Littlefinger)
The enemy of your enemy is your friend. Usually. But I wouldn’t count on it if said frenemy is Littlefinger. The ultimate opportunist. It’s a joy to watch him “play the angles”.
4. Oberon Nymeros Martell (The Red Viper)
A latecomer to the action (And, yes, I’ve read the books) who has become a fast favorite for his contrasting roguishness and noble spirit.
3. Varys (The Spider)
I can’t help but admire the Lord of Whispers and his ability to maneuver and maintain his position within the court. Knowledge IS power.
2. Bronn
A mercenary through and through and yet he is capable of genuine affection, loyalty, and friendship. But of course not at the risk of his own life.
1. Tyrion Lannister
I loved the character in the books and love him even more on the television series. Cynical, rude, and debauched and yet, at the same time, humorous, considerate and vulnerable.
Honorable mentions: Arya Stark, Khal Drogo, Sandor Clegane (The Hound), Margaery Tyrell.
Tagged: Game of Thrones
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014: Akemi packs it away! Ollie! Judd!
“I ate like a garbage box.” – Akemi, the other day, after a particularly filling meal. She has a way with words, no?
These are some of the inspired dishes she’s been packing away…
Summer salad with olive oil, ginger balsamic, and chive blossoms
Pea soup
Onion pie
Eight-hour octopus slow simmered in herbs and olive oil
Last night, we elected to take a break from the kitchen and headed over to our favorite Japanese restaurant: Yuji’s (2083 Alma St. Vancouver). Some of the highlights of our meal…
Akemi’s favorite = the salad rolls.
The maguro-avocado crepe.
And the sushi.
We were driving back home when we spotted a dog walking around by his lonesome. I slowed down and we watched him sniff around, trot across the street, sniff around some more. There was no owner in sight. So, I pulled over and we approached the handsome fellow who turned out to be incredibly friendly. I checked his collar and, fortunately, he had a tag, a name (Ollie!), and a phone number. I called but got an answering machine, so I left a message and was just loading him into the backseat of my car (Ollie seemed really eager to go for a ride) when my cell phone rang. It was the owner. She was in Vietnam! She thanked me for corralling her dog and gave me her address so I could drop him off. Her husband was home. Or so she assumed because when we went over, no one answered the door. We ended up bringing Ollie back home - our dogs weren’t quite as warmly receptive as we were – and ended up walking him back to his place once the owner’s son got in touch. Such a great a walker. He puts my gang to shame.
Ollie needs sunglasses
Speaking of houseguests, tomorrow we say goodbye to Judd after ten happy days. Akemi will miss him. And he’ll miss our backyard…
The gang
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014: Stargate Returns!
Wait. What trilogy? Oh, THIS trilogy: http://www.gateworld.net/news/2014/05/stargates-return-mgm-announces-new-movie-trilogy/
Yep, I’d heard rumblings – and they’ve finally been confirmed. 20 years after the original movie, Devlin and Emmerich will be rebooting Stargate for the big screen.
I continue to be amazed by the franchise’s staying power and continuing evolution, from a Devlin-Emmerich feature film that grossed 200 million to a television juggernaut that, under the stewardship of Brad Wright and Robert Cooper, helped establish SyFy, built MGM’s television division, and generated close to a billion dollars in revenue for the studio, and now back to the big screen.
Last year, I wrote an entry about the future of Stargate, https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/september-12-2013-whither-stargate/, outlining my take on the various possible scenarios.
My conclusion? At the end of the day, it all comes down to one thing: Pleasing the fans – new fans AND established fans alike. [P.S. Wouldn't a brief cameo by Samantha Carter or Rodney McKay or Dr. Nicholas Rush be truly awesome?].
Everything (not that old) is new again! I look forward to seeing the gate in action once more. Very exciting!
I notice fandom response has been mixed. What do you all think?
Well, thanks to everyone who took the time to take yesterday’s lateral thinking quiz. You all did very well. In fact, much better than I did. Check out all the answers, and more brainteasing questions, here: http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/lateral.htm
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014: Lateral thinking!
Last blog entry, in compiling my list of crazy-but-true job interview questions, I failed to include one that should have made the list. Fortunately, my former Executive Producer Assistant, Trevor, was kind enough to remind me:
“Are you comfortable occasionally draining my pet baboon’s anal glands?” – Joe Mallozzi
To be honest, it wasn’t a question posited to test his lateral thinking. I just honestly wanted to know. Happily, Trevor was okay with it and, based on his response, got the job. I, on the other hand, sadly, never got my baboon who was lost in transit from Chad (both the place and the guy who took my order). I can’t help but think that, somewhere out there, some other family is enjoying Cedrick Pinkbottom III’s company.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer yesterday’s job interview questions. There are no right answers, just bad ones that don’t get you hired.
The following ten questions, on the other hand, DO have right answers. But you won’t get them until tomorrow’s blog entry (so pray I survive the night or you’ll never know).
Remember to think outside the box!
1. What can you put in a wooden box that would make it lighter? The more of them you put in the lighter it becomes, yet the box stays empty.
2. Which side of a cat contains the most hair?
3. Why can’t a man living in Canterbury be buried west of the River Stour?
4. Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
5. If you drove a coach leaving Canterbury with 35 passengers, dropped off 6 and picked up 2 at Faversham, picked up 9 more at Sittingbourne, dropped off 3 at Chatham, and then drove on to arrive in London 40 minutes later, what colour are the driver’s eyes?
6. A window cleaner is cleaning the windows on the 25th floor of a skyscraper, when he slips and falls. He is not wearing a safety harness and nothing slows his fall, yet he suffered no injuries. Explain.
7. John’s mother has 3 children, one is named April, one is named May. What is the third one named?
8. A man and his son were in a car crash. The father was killed and the son was taken to hospital with serious injuries. The examining doctor exclaims: “But, this is my son!”.
How can this be?
9. You have to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires
The second is full of tigers that haven’t eaten in 3 years.
The third is full of assassins with loaded machine guns.
Which room should you choose?
10. Three of the glasses below are filled with orange juice and the other three are empty. By moving just one glass, can you arrange the glasses so that the full and empty glasses alternate?
Answers tomorrow!
[Source: The University of Kent].
Tagged: lateral thinking
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014: Outrageous job interview questions!
I think pecans is the ugliest nut I have ever seen in my life - Akemi.
I was, of course, shocked to hear it. It wasn’t so much the bizarreness of the non-sequiter but the fact that pecan actually vaulted over walnut to take the top prize. Akemi clarified. Walnuts look like brains whereas pecans look like cockroaches. And then, off my dubious expression: “What if I put pecans on the floor in the basement and you saw them. What would you think?”
Honestly? “I’d think why is Akemi putting pecans on the floor in the basement.”
Speaking of, uh, lateral thinking – I was doing a little research for a scene in a pilot-in-progress and came across some online articles on job interviews, specifically the types of questions job applicants get asked. You’d be surprised. I remember sitting in on one meeting in which my old friend Andy Mikita was being interviewed for a directing gig. After all the logical questions pertaining to work experience and creative vision had been asked, someone asked him: “What is your biggest weakness?” The room fell into an awkward moment of silence, which I finally broke by answering for him: “The fact that he cares too much.”
As far as crazy interview questions go, it was actually fairly mundane compared to the following:
“How would you cure world hunger?” – Amazon.com
“If you were a pizza delivery man, how would you benefit from scissors?” – Apple
“What is your strategy at table tennis?” – Citigroup
““If Germans were the tallest people in the world, how would you prove it?” – Hewlett-Packard
“If you were a box of cereal, what would you be and why?” Bed Bath & Beyond
“How many cows are in Canada?” – Google
“If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?” – Goldman-Sachs
“Do you believe in Bigfoot?” — Norwegian Cruise Line
“Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 how weird you are.” – Capitol One
“What do you think of garden gnomes?” – Trader Joe’s
“What songs best describes your work ethic?” – Dell
“What do you think about when you are alone in your car?” – Gallup
“You’re a new addition to the crayon box, what color would you be and why?” – Urban Outfitters
“Say you are dead- what do you think your eulogy would say about you.” – Nationwide
source: http://www.glassdoor.com/blog/
How would you respond to any of the above? Remember, there’s a lucrative job riding on your answers!
May 27, 2014
May 26, 2014
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