Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 426

May 5, 2014: Our Book of the Month Club reconvenes! Let’s discuss The Rich and the Dead!

Time travel fiction is notoriously difficult to write, fraught as it is with complicated theoretical rules related to grandfather paradoxes and butterfly effects.  It is, on the other hand, relatively simple to write if you merely pay lip service to said rules and then proceed to either ignore or violate them over the course of your narrative. And that’s what we have here: a time travel novel for non time-travel-savvy readers.  It’s like sitting down to watch the 1978 Dr. Strange t.v. movie and being dazzled by the visual effects.  Most viewers are a little more knowledgeable but, hey, I’m sure there a few under-rock-dwelling neophytes who might actually consider it a singular achievement.

Truth be told, the time travel conceit at the very heart of this book is one of several problems with The Rich and the Dead.   So, let’s start at the top…

Former Miami police detective Lila Day is haunted by the case she was never able to solve, the mass murder of twelve of the city’s wealthiest.  They were all found, shot to death in a mansion on Star Island.  It was a massacre that sent shockwaves throughout the world when it was discovered inferred that the deceased made up the roster of the famed Janus Society.  Yes, THE Janus Society, the secret group that would annually bestow hundreds of millions of dollars on a single charity.  When the Star Island murders happened to coincide with the abrupt cessation of the gargantuan contributions, people put two and two together and realized: Hey, all those rich dead people were probably the Janus Society!  Because Miami’s rich are much more altruistic and generous than the average city’s wealthy denizens.

A two year investigation went nowhere.  “How is this possible?”you may ask. “What elaborately brilliant plan did the murderer execute that allowed him/her to kill twelve powerful individuals and get away with it?”  Well, prepare to be amazed by the answer!

Lila is given a second chance at solving the murders by wealthy billionaire Teddy Hawkins and his personal time machine.  Yes, it’s true!  He has a time machine! And he proves it to Lila by sending her a copy of the next day’s paper.  Lila is understandably dubious until she sees the lottery results.  And then, in classic cartoon timing, immediately turns on the television and gets that night’s lottery numbers…the exact same numbers!  Thus proving that wealthy billionaire Teddy Hawkins has the resources to rig a lottery draw build himself a time machine!

Teddy offers to send Lila back in time where she will go undercover as wealthy socialite Camilla Dayton, infiltrate the Janus Society, and catch the killer. Unfortunately, she can’t save the victims because, of course, doing so would alter “the present in unimaginable ways”.  The rules of time travel are inviolable!  So – to reiterate – she can’t alter the past by trying to save its victims.  Or interact with her past self. But it’s perfectly fine for her to spend three months interacting with the past environment and finagling her way into a secret society she wasn’t originally a part of.  So much for “the butterfly effect”.  I guess some time travel rules are more inviolable than others.

Before she travels back into the past, we are treated to the following exchange that caused me to throw the book across the room (after which I picked it up and resumed reading because it was our book of the month club pick and you were all expecting a review):

Lila: “Will I lose those months of my life here?” (Stupid question, right?  It’s a freakin’ time travel machine not a trip to Hawaii!  You can come right back to the point at which you left.  Hell, you can come back five minutes earlier if you like!)

Teddy: “Wormholes don’t work the same in both directions.  It’ll be a few days here, not a few months.” (Wait!  WHAT?!  A few days?!  Wormholes?  WTF?!)

Lila travels back in time where she befriends one of the members of the Janus Society, a young Paris Hilton-like socialite named Effie who becomes her “in” to Miami high society, a group made up of incredibly shallow and stupid individuals who, incongruously, are also intelligent and magnanimous enough to create the Janus Society and help the world.

Lila begins her investigation.  She uncovers shocking details about suspects that, for some reason, she was unable to discover the first time around – and rather obvious information at that.  I guess this explains why the murders went unsolved for two years.  Her incompetence AND the murderer’s brilliant plan (Wait for it!). For instance, she discovers that Scott, husband of one of the murder victims, probably isn’t responsible because he’d signed a prenup and wouldn’t have financially benefited from his wife’s demise.  Seriously.  This ISN’T something that happened to cross her desk in those two years?

The investigation deepens!  Preposterous developments abound!

Shockingly, she ends up meeting the past version of her benefactor, Teddy.  I say “shockingly” because, despite the fact that Teddy obviously runs in the same social circles, he never thought to prepare Lila for the possibility and she never thought to ask.

One of her suspects, a gay art dealer, brings her to a meeting with a corrupt Mexican custom official and pretends she’s his girlfriend.  Why would he do this? Why doesn’t he just ask her to play along BEFORE the meeting if it’s that important to him?  To quote Cookie Monster: “Shhhh.  Shhhh.  Shhhh.”.

She spends time with a repulsive Russian gangster who is such an over-the-top misogynistic buffoon that you want to scream: “Yeah, okay!  I get it!  He’s BAD!”.  Subtle this aint.

She also allows herself to fall in love with some guy (Always a great idea when you travel back in time).

Ultimately, her three month investigation comes to naught so he has to scramble over to Star Island in time for the murders.  Yes, that’s right.  The entire three month investigation was a complete waste of time.  Teddy could have just sent her back to the murder scene five minutes before the killings took place and it would have amounted to the same thing.  All she has to do is park herself out front and catch the killer in the act.

And she can’t even do that!  Instead, she ends up in a locked room and doesn’t find her way out until seconds after the murder takes place.

So, Lila travels back to the present (which, for some bizarre reason, is actually a few days into her future) and tells Teddy she failed.  Now they’ll never find out who the murderer was. :(

(Well, hang on.  Isn’t that time travel machine still working?  Couldn’t you just go back to five minutes before the murder and, instead of crawling in through the basement window and ending up in a locked room, position yourself elsewhere? Say in the bushes outside the front gate so you can see who leaves seconds after the murder is committed?  In fact, instead of going through the whole rigamarole of this ridiculous three month investigation, wouldn’t that have been the easiest way to go since there was nothing she could have done to save those victims in the first place?  No?  Anybody?  Hello?).

But wait!  Lila looks up her long lost love and, in a twist that nobody everybody saw coming, it turns out that HE is the murderer!  But how?  And why?

At which point we are treated to a long implausible info dump that details the inane workings of the Janus Society which, we discover, also happens to be a sort of murder club.  Because that’s, I guess, what philanthropists do.  Help AND kill people.  That’s why it’s called The JANUS Society.  Get it?!

But wait!  What was the elaborate plot that allowed him to kill twelve of Miami’s wealthiest and get away with it?

Are you ready?

He killed the lights and then used his night vision goggles to find everyone and shoot them.  Then he drove away.  Brilliant, huh?

But wait!  Even though the murderer admitted everything to Lila, there is no actual evidence to convict him.  UNLESS – he admits everything in court.  But why would he do that?  Well…because…LOVE.

THE END

A tremendous achievement in mediocrity.

May 4, 2014: Recommended Reading!

Today, we went to the nearby Cookworks kitchenware shop where Akemi browsed while I offered the woman at the cash some book recommendations for her upcoming vacation (John Scalzi’s Old Man’s War and Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle).  Moments earlier, we had been at our local chain bookstore where Akemi hunted for a cookbook for dogs (cooking for dogs as opposed to cooking dogs or a book for dogs who cook) while I called out an employee on one of his “recommended” reads.  I’d been checking out the back wall when I happened to notice Kate Atkinson’s Life After Life among the Staff Picks.  A fine book but, as I pointed out in my capsule review, nowhere near the brilliant work the critics would have us believe.  Unless, of course, said critics could explain the nonsensical ending or what, exactly, was so fiercely original about a conceit and structure that has been used in almost every scifi series ever produced .

“Hey, you’re Mike,”I said, stepping up to the employee.

“I am,”he said, smiling down at his name badge.

“You recommended Kate Atkins’s Life After Life.”.  

“I did,”he said, suddenly awkward and unsure of himself, looking like someone whose deep, dark secret had just been exposed.

“Really?

Glancing about anxiously: “What do you mean?”

“The ending didn’t make any sense.”

“Well…”

“Also, everyone talks about how original it is but if the fact is the going-back-repeatedly-in-time-to-fix-things story is as old as science fiction itself.”

“Well, yes…but I saw it as more a collection of short stories….”

“But they’re not short stories.  They’re a novel with a single storyline…that ultimately doesn’t make sense.”

Lowering his voice and levelling with me: “I didn’t even think it was that great but I had to come up with a book to recommend.”  Beat.  “I didn’t even finish it.”

Aha!  I knew it!  A week earlier, I’d gone to a rival book shop and questioned another employee’s recommendation of Gillian Flynn’s Dark Places, a book that concludes with one of the most ridiculously coincidental reveals in crime thriller history.  She too admitted that, in retrospect, she may have been rather hasty in suggesting that one.

Don’t get me wrong.  Both books are well-written.  But they’re flawed – in ways other equally well-written but lesser known books are not.

Which is why I try to read A LOT, everything from well known writers to first-time authors, fiction and non-fiction alike, lauded or not, so that when I recommend a book, I can do so with confidence.  Sure, much of it comes down to subjective personal taste, but there are objective failings of certain books that are impossible to excuse.  Although some readers will try.

Last week, my sister sent me a text, asking me to recommend her some non-genre books.  After some consideration, these were the titles I suggested:

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

We Are Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler

City of Thieves by David Benioff

Misery by Stephen King

The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon (I’d argue its SF classification)

Camp Concentration (like SoD, it’s classified as SF but it straddles the line)

Fool by Christopher Moore

The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry by Jon Ronson

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

The Man Who Ate Everything, and It Must Have Been Something I Ate by Jeffrey Steingarten

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket (the entire series)

Thoughts?  Agree?  Disagree?

What are YOUR top recommended reads (including genre fiction).  Let’s debate.  I’m in a feisty mood!

May 3, 2014: My Top 10 Most Personally Influential SF Films!

This morning I came across this (http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/how-many-science-fiction-movies-have-you-seen) Buzzfeed article that asks: “How many science fiction movies have you seen?”.  Apparently, in my case, quite a few – but I’m sure many of you can do better than my still-respectable 151 out of 300 score.  In looking over the list, I realized I watched A LOT of SF films in the 60′s and 70′s, but my love for the genre tapered off in the 80′s to the point that I now rarely see any of the big (empty) big screen features.  Nope, they don’t make ‘em like the used to. Or, maybe, I’m the one who’s changed.

Science fiction was an important part of my life growing, so much so that the books I read and the films I watched in those formative years influenced my career choice and, no doubt, helped shape me into the (warped) writer/person I am today. Specifically, these ten movies…

#10) ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK

My love for anti-heroes and over-the-top action started with this John Carpenter classic.

#9) INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS

This movie scared the crap out of the me the first time I saw it in a theater.  The final shocking scene still gives me chills.

#8) A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

Deeply disturbing.  My favorite Kubrick film.

#7) ROLERBALL

Amid the violence and revelous tree-scorching is a smart critique of organized sports, corporations, and war.

#6) THE THING

Paranoia rules supreme in this ultimate who-can-you-trust? SF classic.

#5) THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION

Joyously bizarre, delightfully different, and just plain cool.  John Lithgow is brilliant as the nefarious Dr. Emilio Lizardo.

#4) ALIEN

The movie that made SF serious – deadly serious – and launched a thousand pale imitations.  But there’s nothing like the terrifying original.

#3) BLADE RUNNER

A smart, touching, incredibly atmospheric film that still blows the socks off any scifi movie that has come out in the last ten years.

#2) STAR WARS

I saw it 11 times in the first year of its release.  A helluva a fun ride.  And even though the wheels came off in the third movie (the second those ewoks hit the screen), and then the whole thing crashed and burned in later instalments, I still have fond memories of the original.

 

#1) PLANET OF THE APES

Every time it (or the subsequent movies in the series) would air, I would watch, even if it meant going to bed at 8:00 p.m. so that I could wake up again at 11:30 p.m. to re-watch it on a school night.  I had the comic books, the action figures, even the board game (and still do!).  I love this movie and this series, so much so that I consider Tim Burton’s offensively bad remake one of the worst cinematic crimes ever perpetrated.

Tagged: A Clockwork Orange, Alien, Blade Runner, Escape from New York, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Planet of the Apes, Rollerball, Star Wars, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, The Thing

May 2, 2014: Places you may want to avoid! Cast your vote for our July Book of the Month Club read!

I’m enjoying reading your comments on yesterday’s entry (My Top 5 Never-Before-Visited Vacation Destinations!) both for the travel recommendations AND critiques. Don’t be shy or fearful of offending.  I’d love to learn about your those negative experiences as well.  After all, not every city is for everyone.  For instance, I’ve only been to New Orleans, San Francisco, and Hawaii once, but had a tremendous time on all three occasions and would go back to any of them in a heartbeat.  Paris, on the other hand, probably not.  I’ve visited twice for business and, while it’s architecturally beautiful and home to some marvelous restaurants, I found its locals somewhat…let’s go with “rude” and leave it at that.  It’s bizarre because I’ve met French nationals on my travels, even here in Vancouver, and they’ve all been nothing short of wonderful: friendly, spirited, helpful.  Interestingly enough, when they hear about my Paris experience, they invariably inform me that Paris is very different from the rest of the country and then insist that, the next time, I should visit southern France .

So, do tell.  What are some of the places you WOULDN’T pay a return visit? Details, please.

Alright all you voracious readers.  It’s that time again.   Time to vote for the July Book of the Month.  The nominees are…

December Park by Ronald Malfi

In the quiet suburb of Harting Farms, the weekly crime blotter usually consists of graffiti or the occasional bout of mailbox baseball. But in the fall of 1993, children begin vanishing and one is found dead. Newspapers call him the Piper because he has come to take the children away. But there are darker names for him, too . . .

Vowing to stop the Piper’s reign of terror, five boys take up the search. Their teenage pledge turns into a journey of self-discovery . . . and a journey into the darkness of their own hometown. On the twilit streets of Harting Farms, everyone is a suspect. And any of the boys might be the Piper’s next victim.

Defenders by Will McIntosh

The invaders came to claim earth as their own, overwhelming us with superior weapons and the ability to read our minds like open books.

Our only chance for survival was to engineer a new race of perfect soldiers to combat them. Seventeen feet tall, knowing and loving nothing but war, their minds closed to the aliens.

But these saviors could never be our servants. And what is down cannot be undone.

American Woman by Robert Pobi

New York City is experiencing a seemingly interminable heat wave. NYPD homicide detective Alexandra “Hemi” Hemingway has just learned she’s pregnant when she catches a disturbing case: the murder of a child. No suspects emerge. Then another child is killed. He looks amazingly like the first child, and his parents, like the first pair, are profoundly wealthy. Then another, same parameters. In the midst of the carnage, Hemi questions the wisdom of bringing a child into such a world. The detectives stumble on a thin lead: the mothers of the murdered children all used an exclusive, extraordinarily expensive fertility clinic.

White Fire by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child

Special Agent Pendergast arrives at an exclusive Colorado ski resort to rescue his protégée, Corrie Swanson, from serious trouble with the law. His sudden appearance coincides with the first attack of a murderous arsonist who–with brutal precision–begins burning down multimillion-dollar mansions with the families locked inside. After springing Corrie from jail, Pendergast learns she made a discovery while examining the bones of several miners who were killed 150 years earlier by a rogue grizzly bear. Her finding is so astonishing that it, even more than the arsonist, threatens the resort’s very existence.

Drawn deeper into the investigation, Pendergast uncovers a mysterious connection between the dead miners and a fabled, long-lost Sherlock Holmes story–one that might just offer the key to the modern day killings as well.

Now, with the ski resort snowed in and under savage attack–and Corrie’s life suddenly in grave danger–Pendergast must solve the enigma of the past before the town of the present goes up in flames.

Nebula Awards Showcase 2014 edited by Kij Johnson

This year’s Nebula winners, and expected contributors, are Kim Stanley Robinson, Nancy Kress, Andy Duncan, and Aliette de Bodard, with E.C. Myers winning the Andre Norton Award for Young Adult Science Fiction and Fantasy Book.

Take Our Poll

***

Putting together this list was a lot tougher than you’d think.  I went through the several hundred titles released in May, eliminated hardcovers, crappy/cheesy covers, continuing instalments in an ongoing series, tie-ins, reprints, vampires, werewolves, zombies and, in the end, those books that failed to capture my interest and, in the end, came up with less than a dozen potential reads (!).  But some very interesting candidates.

By the way, publishers take note.  It’s not necessary to tell us it’s a novel (ie. Bloodgrave: A Novel or Goldfish of the Blue Apocalypse: A Novel).  I know it’s a novel.  If it was a collection of short stories, it would say so.  Alternately, if it was packaged food or a bicycle or hiking boots, chances are still pretty good I’d be able to tell the difference.

Still, I’m sure it happens.  Be honest now.  Who hasn’t, at some point in their lives, made the embarrassing mistake of visiting their local bookstore to pick up this:

But brought home this instead:

Come on.  Let’s see a show of hands.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.  So, in hindsight, maybe it’s a good thing that publishers are taking the time to point out the seemingly obvious.  I mean, thank goodness they did otherwise a simple trip to your local bookshop may well result in an embarrassingly erroneous purchase, criminal charges, or worse!  Please, take note.

This:

NOT this:

And this:

NOT this guy:

Whereas February was a great reading month, full of surprises, April was peppered with disappointments.  But I’ll elaborate on those in a dedicated entry.

Oh, and that reminds me: Finish up reading The Rich and the Dead, our May Book of the Month Club pick, and get ready for Monday’s discussion.

I’m going to have plenty to say on this one.

May 1, 2014: My Top 5 Never-Before-Visited Vacation Destinations!

Tokyo, Montreal, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles.  Whenever I travel, it’s usually to one of these four cities.  But I’ve been thinking.  Maybe it’s time for something different.  Not Hawaii or Hong Kong or New Orleans or San Francisco – all places I’ve already visited.  I’m talking about somewhere I’ve never been before. Somewhere brand new to discover.  I’m thinking…

 Savannah, Georgia

I actually started researching Savannah for a pilot I was co-writing and the more I learned about this sultry southern city, the greater my desire to visit.  I’ve always had an affinity for things southern, from sports teams to food,  so this trip is long overdue.  It also helps that I have some reliable guides in my buddy Jeff and his wife Barb who head down annually.

Madrid, Spain

Ever since we watched a Food Network show called From Spain with Love, a series that took viewers on a tour of the city’s culinary hot spots, Madrid (and Barcelona) has been on the top of my (and Akemi’s) list of Places to Go.

New York, New York

Okay, technically I have been to New York – but it was a business trip that lasted less than a day so I’m not counting it.   As far as foodie cities go, this one’s at the top of the list.

Tuscany, Italy

I’d like to follow a friend’s lead: gather a bunch of friends and rent a villa.  Hire a chef to cook for you or simply take a ride into town for some of the local fresh produce you can bring back and cook yourself.

Charleston, South Carolina

Warm, beautiful, great food, and, by all accounts, “insanely nice” locals.

So. what makes your list?

Tagged: Barcelonia, Charleston, Georgia, Italy, Madrid, New York, Savannah, South Carolina, Spain, travel, Tuscany

April 30, 2014: Conspicuous Consumption! Richie Rich sticks it to the little guy!

If I had to pick one comic book that I considered “the weirdest” growing up, it would have to be Richie Rich.  The title character was described as “the poor little rich boy” but I never found anything remotely poor about him, either literally or figuratively.  I suppose, one could make the argument that deep beneath the surface, Richie was a troubled soul.  In the end, all the riches in the world couldn’t buy him the one thing he desired most: true friendship.  Of course, in retrospect, making friends probably wouldn’t have been so hard if he hadn’t been such a dick.

I can just imagine him in his best Crocodile Dundee: “Haha.  That’s not a car.  THIS is a car.”  Then reverses over the kid’s toy.  And quite possibly his little hand.

How much does it cost to ship in an endangered tortoise from the Galapagos Islands?  And then stud its shell with precious gems?

DON’T try this at Dodger home games.

Nothing says “destitute and starved for affection” like a kid taking an old soup can for a walk.  But Richie looks pretty happy.  Happier still when he later fires a full broadside at the enemy ship.

It’s like: “Dayamn, my top is so brilliant, I need sunglasses to play with it.”

Structurally unsound, impractical, and energy deficient, but the new President of the Inuit Circumpolar Council has to represent.

Yeah, I’m just going to look the other way while you finish grading my test.

100′s are aerodynamically superior to 50′s and 20′s.

Money doesn’t actually grow on trees. It grows on stalks so, technically, your parents weren’t lying to you.

This is actually a great idea.  Next time you break a window, it’s automatically paid for.

If only golf courses came with shops that allowed you to purchase golf-related items like golf balls – or hire non-chatty caddies.  “Yo, Overalls.  I’m putting over here!”

Which all results in this.  Sad but not surprising.

Tagged: Comic Books, Comics, Richie Rich

April 29, 2014: The Weird Food Purchase of the Day – Onion and Wasabi Chips!

Tagged: onion and wasabi chips

April 28, 2014: A Trip Down Memory (Lois) Lane! Comicdom’s Most Dated – the awesome, the atrocious, and the quaintly antiquated!

“They sure don’t make ‘em like they used” goes the old adage, and nowhere is this more evident than in the ever-evolving world of comic books.  From Superman battling nazis to Spiderman meeting President Obama, comics have a rich tradition of embracing history and reflecting social and cultural norms.  What was perfectly acceptable ten, maybe twenty years ago is now often viewed with an even mix of horror and amusement.  “What were they thinking?”we ask.  But before we get all smug and self-important, let’s remember that ten, twenty years ago, readers were saying the same thing.  And ten, twenty years from now, they’ll probably look back on us and marvel over OUR ridiculous conceits and misguided earnestness.   So adorably/annoyingly politically correct.  It’s a wonder they ever got anything done!

With that in mind, allow me to present Comicdom’s Most Dated Covers: A Trip Down Lois Memory Lane.  We’ve come a long way, baby!

Note to Lex Luthor: If you can’t get your hands on kryptonite, have Lois bake up a batch of her home made muffins.

Lois teams up with the villainous…Pat Boone?!  Some 40 years later, Pat shows up at the American Music Awards in leather and sporting a dog collar.  Prescient?

This guy carries around jumbo jets without breaking a sweat.  How much weight DID she gain?!

Super catfight!

First Pat Boone, now Perry Como.  Throw in Paul Anka and you’ve got the Triumvirate of Evil, 1960′s version.

“I’m ashamed of my physical deformity so I’ll just wear this lead-lined safe on my head so that people don’t stare.”

I’m going to guess: actual biological father.

Easy there, Aquaman.  Keep yer underoos on.  Until it’s your turn.

Seems a tad overly-elaborate – but I’m sure it all makes perfect sense in the book.

In this case, the actual story couldn’t possibly do justice to the kinky version we’re all imagining in our heads.

Sorry, Lois.  You made your deathbed.  Now lie in it.

Wow.  She is REALLY desperate to get married.

Following in the proud tradition of Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man.

Hey, do you mind if I borrow your child for this undercover investigation I’m doing?

Tagged: Comic Books, Comics, dated comic book covers, Lois Lane, old comic book covers

April 26, 2014: May under-the-radar releases to look forward to! Or not!

BLOOD GLACIER

Release Date: May 2, 2014

What it’s about: A bleeding glacier infects and mutates the local wildlife.  Chaos ensues.

What it’s got working for it: In the spirit of Alien…

What’s it’s got going against it: …comes a movie that looks like a cheap rip-off of Alien.

*

WALK OF SHAME

Release Date: May 2, 2014

What it’s about: Following a one night stand, a reporter, stranded in downtown L.A., has eight hours to make a job interview.  Hilarity (?) ensues.

What it’s got working for it: The premise has potential.

What’s it’s got going against it: Alas, the red band trailer isn’t any funnier than the official trailer.

*

CHEF

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: A chef quits his job and opens a food truck.

What it’s got working for it: Being a foodie, I’m intrigued.

What’s it’s got going against it: Non-foodies may find it of lesser interest.

*

THE DOUBLE

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: Meek, milk-mannered Simon has his life turned upside-down by a charismatic and boisterous new co-worker – who happens to be his double.

What it’s got working for it: The trailer looks delightfully weird and creepy.

What’s it’s got going against it: Maybe a little too weird.

*

FED UP

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: An expose of the food industry.

What it’s got working for it: This movie could save your life!

What’s it’s got going against it: Or just depress the heck out of you and leave you feeling powerless.

*

COLD IN JULY

Release Date: May 23, 2014

What it’s about: A man is hounded by the father of the burglar he killed.  But there may be more going on then either of them initially assumed.

What it’s got working for it: Michael C. Hall is great and the trailer looks pretty damn good.

What’s it’s got going against it: Hmmm.  At this point, not much.  Some poor early reviews could change that but, for now…

*

FILTH

Release Date: May 30, 2014

What it’s about: A corrupt and opportunistic cop will stop at nothing to get what he wants.

What it’s got working for it: Looks mighty crazy.

What’s it’s got going against it: Crazy good AND possibly crazy bad.

Tagged: Blood Glacier, Chef, Cold in July, Fed Up, Filth, The Double, Walk of Shame

April 25, 2014: May movie releases to look forward to! Or not!

THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN 2

Release Date: May 2, 2014

What it’s about: Spiderman takes on Electro and…Voltron?

What it’s got working for it: The visual effects looks pretty good.  And it’s always great to see a new super villain on the big screen.

What’s it’s got going against it: Not loving the updated Electro.  Also, the first movie felt like an unnecessary reboot.  Can the sequel move beyond the “been here, scene that” vibe of the first?

***

LEGENDS OF OZ: DOROTHY’S RETURN

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: Dorothy returns to Oz to save her old friends from the villainous Jester.

What it’s got working for it: Some impressive voice talent.

What’s it’s got going against it: The trailer looks…fine.  There’s the suggestion she teams up with new friends to rescue the old ones from the Jester.  Does this mean she won’t be doing any actual adventuring with the old gang? :(

***

NEIGHBORS

Release Date: May 9, 2014

What it’s about: A young couple with a newborn live next door to a frat.

What it’s got working for it: The airbag gag at the end holds promise.

What’s it’s got going against it: The juvenile premise may not be for everyone.

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GODZILLA

Release Date: May 16, 2014

What it’s about: A giant lizard causes all sorts of trouble.

What it’s got working for it: It looks pretty damn impressive.

What’s it’s got going against it: The last Godzilla movie showed promise to and look at how that one turned out.  No, don’t look.  Just take my word for it.

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BLENDED

Release Date: May 23, 2014

What it’s about: Two single parents agree to never meet again following a disastrous blind date – only to run into each other, and their respective kids, at an African resort.

What it’s got working for it: Sure, it’s an Adam Sandler romcom, but so was The Wedding Singer?

What’s it’s got going against it: And so were every other Adam Sandler romcom. Also, cloying kids.  Also, the trailer looks terrible.

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X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

Release Date: May 23, 2014

What it’s about: Past and present converge as the X-Men must team up with younger versions of themselves to save the future.

What it’s got working for it: The Days of Future Past storyline was one of the greatest X-Men comic book arcs.

What’s it’s got going against it: This doesn’t sound anything like the original storyline.

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A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST

Release Date: May 30, 2014

What it’s about: A cowardly sheep farmer must find his courage in the old west.

What it’s got working for it: Well, it’s written by Seth MacFarlane who created Family Guy.

What’s it’s got going against it: It stars Seth MacFarlane who hosted the Oscars that one time.

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MALEFICENT

Release Date: May 30, 2014

What it’s about: The witch from Sleeping Beauty, who may not have been so wicked after all.

What it’s got working for it: It’s interesting that Disney is jumping on the anti-hero bandwagon.

What’s it’s got going against it: Do I really care about Maleficent and her story? Not so much.

 

Tagged: A Million Ways to Die in the West, Blended, Godzilla, Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, Maleficent, Neighbors, The Amazing Spiderman 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past