Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 425

April 4, 2014: Skipping ahead and resuming our Stargate: Atlantis rewatch with…the season 5 premiere?!

Quick!  Dust off those DVD’s!  Our Stargate: Atlantis rewatch resumes tonight with the season 5 premiere: Search and Rescue!

Wait!  What?!  What happened to season 2 through 4?!  Well, Akemi has expressed a desire to skip ahead to the season “with Bob [Picardo] and the Chairman [Mark Dacascos]!”.  She admit there may be a few discrepancies between the last episode she watched (the season one finale) and tonight’s episode, but she feels confident that I can catch her up.  If any of you are in Akemi’s position, allow me to offer you the following VERY SPOILERISH summary of what you missed:

Weir was kidnapped by these aliens called Asurans who are essentially human-form replicators (that are essentially sentient murderous self-forming Lego creatures),

Dr. Beckett was killed by an exploding tumour but was mysteriously rediscovered alive, a little over a year later, as a prisoner of Michael, a human-wraith hybrid who was the result of an experiment by the Atlantis gang and is now a sworn enemy of our heroes except for Teyla and her baby.  And, oh yeah, Teyla had a baby but the father wasn’t Sheppard (as you’d probably assume) but Kanaan.  Kanaan, I said. Teyla’s secret Athosian lover.  Of course you never heard of him.  He was a secret lover.

The new Chief Medical Officer that took over for Beckett, Jennifer Keller, has really hit it off with McKay.

As a result of getting partially fed-upon by a wraith, lieutenant Ford receives a dose of a strange enzyme that masw him super strong AND super crazy.  He fles Atlantis, became a renegade wraith hunter, and got blown up (?) on a wraith hive ship.

The team encountered a super strong NOT crazy renegade hunter called Ronon and he joined the team.

Colonel Samantha Carter took over command of the Atlantis expedition after Weir’s disappearance.

Atlantis had to leave its original world, travel through space, and has now settled on a completely different planet that looks exactly the same as the old one.

Also, Earth built ships capable of reaching Atlantis in two weeks and have been making supply runs to the Pegasus Galaxy.  For a while there, it was possible to travel back and forth between Stargate Command and Atlantis using something called a gate bridge (literally, a bridge made out of gates) but that was destroyed last season.  Sorry.    You just missed it.  But trust me.  It was really cool.

The following characters were introduced and died between the season 1 finale and the season 5 premiere: Dr Monroe, Dr. Lindstrom,  Dr. Collins, Ronon’s former commander Kell, Ella a female wraith and her human step-father Zaddik, Walker, Stevens, some tardy Aurorans (Ancients), some of Ford’s equally strong and crazy friends, a guy called Kanayo, an old Athosian called Charin taking with her her recipe for turtleroot soup, Griffin, Otho, the Lord Protector, Phoebus, Thalan, innumerable wraith, miscellaneous Atlantis personnel, Genii, and sundry off-worlders.

Wait!  That’s just season 2!  Well, just take that number, triple it, and you should have a rough estimate of the interim body count.

Anything else?  Let’s see.  Oh yeah, Sheppard has an ex-wife, McKay a sister, and Atlantis a new (and not so trustworthy) BFF who happens to be a wraith named Todd.

Did I miss anything?  If so, feel free to post it in the comments section of this blog.

April 3, 2014: The projects update!

I recall reading somewhere that Stephen King likes to listen to (“rock”) music while he writes.  That’s amazing because I couldn’t imagine a scenario or musical genre (even classical!) that would actually help my in-progress writing process.  I make the distinction because every pilot I work on tends to have a theme, a song that perfectly captures the spirit of the prospective series.  Before sitting down to write, I’ll always slip on my ear buds and listen to the song, once, imagining the opening title sequence or crucial montage or Comic Con trailer.  And that usually puts me in the mood.  Pendelum provides the theme for Dark Matter, Parov Stelar the music for a couple of A.K.A.’s montage sequences, while one of Vitalic’s beats offers offers the frenzied musical accompaniment to that over-the-top SF action pilot I jus completed.

But when it comes time for the actual writing, I need silence.  I NEED silence but subconsciously crave distraction.  Between pages, I am constantly surfing the web or responding to emails, checking my phone messages and generally seeking out something (anything) that will divert my attention from the task at hand.  Whether its approving blog comments, raiding my chocolate drawer, or putting out the recycling bins, it’s all a welcome distraction.  I would be SO much more prolific if I was actually able to exercise a certain amount of self-control.

Sadly, I haven’t been able to find anything that actually helps the writing process. I’m experimenting with bourbon and, while the early trials hold promise, it’s really too early to give it official approval.

So, on the projects front…

Dark Matter has been a roller coaster ride of ups, downs, and a couple of times when I thought we were going to go hurtling off the tracks and land in the carny booth.  There have been plenty of close calls in our attempts to put the financing in place.  I always had a per-episode budget number I wanted to hit – nothing extravagant, simply what I thought would be the bare minimum we would need to produce a great, ship-based SF.  And, when that number proved just-out-of-reach, I reconsidered my drop-dead sum, figuring that we could trade off a slightly lower budget in exchange for more time to craft production-friendly scripts.  But the latest news from our production partner is a downer with the final number falling short of practical expectations.  Everybody loves the script, but they’re reluctant to pony up the $$$ required to do it right.  And it always comes back to the same argument. Why pay more for an expensive space-based scifi series when you can pay half as much for a genre show that is probably going to do just as well in the ratings even if it doesn’t offer all the cool ship-based adventures and otherworldly exploration?  My answer would be: “Because it wouldn’t offer all the cool ship-based adventures and otherworldly exploration!”.  Anyway, we’ll have the final tally sometime next week and, at that point, we’ll make the call.

Development work has been completed on A.K.A.  Everything (the pilot, episode #2 script, and series overview) were delivered to the broadcaster last week and we’ve been told that a decision on the project will be made by the end of next week.

Have been on a couple of calls from production companies interested in the Southern Gothic pilot I co-wrote with my pal Tara in T.O.  Tomorrow, or early next week, I get on the phone with my U.S. agent to talk about possibilities south of the border.

Finally finished a first draft of that over-the-top actioner (as opposed to the over-the-top “auctioneer” this blog’s spell-check keeps prompting me to write).  It’s…pretty crazy, as different from Southern Gothic as SG is from A.K.A. and A.K.A. from Dark Matter.  And, for those wondering, DM is very different from this one as well.  I’ll be sending it off to some of my fellow writers for feedback, and I’m fully prepared for the responses to range from: “This is great!” to “You’re out of your mind!” and anything in between.

And then there are the countless other non self-generated projects out there – pitches and possibilities and sundry longshots that have, to date, offered little beyond endless conference calls. emails, and the oft-expressed desire to “work together soon”.

Back to the bourbon!

April 2, 2014: Letting sleeping dogs lie!

April 1, 2014: The April Fool’s Roundup!

Check out Samuel Adams’ new HeliYum-induced beer:

YouTube announces its lineup of upcoming viral trends for 2014:

Samsung’s pigeon network will bring WiFi to London:

In response to events in Crimea, the European Union drafts a blacklist that includes Putin’s dog: http://euobserver.com/foreign/123706

Virgin America introduces personal climate control for each individual passenger:

Meanwhile, Canadian airline, West Jet, goes metric:

HTC and Samsung present the smart glove: http://androidandme.com/2014/04/news/htc-samsung-lead-new-innovation-with-smart-gloves/

Ocado Technology introduces the 42″ ‘slablet:

Crazy news out of Suffolk:

Google Maps offers a teaser for the upcoming live-action Pokeman game!

Meanwhile, the BBC offers 10 stories that look like April Fool’s Day pranks, but aren’t: http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-26831986

Enjoy the delicious scent of Cheetos perfume:

BMW launches the ZZZ series:

In addition, BMW is also introducing: “introducing its “Force Injection Booster,” an artificial G-force technology that “simulates the effects of spirited driving, even when traveling at slower speeds, to create a thrilling ride.”

http://www.leftlanenews.com/bmw-intros.html

Today’s blog entry is dedicated to the memory of my boy Maximus who always enjoyed a good laugh.

 

March 31, 2014: Sunday Food Truck Tour – Vancouver Style!

Yesterday, Akemi and I (and our lodger, Petunia) met up with fellow foodies Nicole, Missy, Len, and Milla Jovovich (No, not THAT Milla Jovovich) for a Sunday food truck tour, Vancouver style!  And by “Vancouver style!” I mean wet and miserable.  But only the weather!  The food was pretty darn good.

Since we were food truck trekking on a Sunday, our options were limited.  Even our limited options were further limited by the no-shows of several food trucks (Yes, Feastro the Rolling Bistro and Mom’s Grilled Cheese Truck, I’m talking about you). But we made the best of things…

Milla and Petunia, “the cleaners”.

First stop: The Yolk Truck

Fellow foodies MIssy, Len, and Nicole.

Clockwise from left: 1) Organic pork belly confit and free-range egg sandwich with spinach, yolks, and honey dijon, 2) truffle potato skewers, 3) extra bacon.  That is one messy but delicious sandwich!

And for dessert – some damn big beignets (cinnamon and powdered sugar) along with a salted caramel dipping sauce.

From there, we headed over to the Japadog shop for a Japanese take on a North American favorite.  We sampled three varieties…

Cheese smoke with cream cheese and avocado. I say yes to the avocado and a polite no to the cream cheese. But this seemed to be Nicole’s favorite.

Ebi (shrimp) tempura dog on top and croquette (crispy mashed potato) dog on the bottom. I’d give both a solid meh. Akemi found the addition of rice in the croquette dog a bizarre double carb decision.

We picked up Japadog and, since it was so cold and miserable (and we had the dogs), we decided to just eat in the car.  On our way there, Nicole noticed a shop called Mancakes that specializes in Manly cupcakes.  Well, what’s a food truck tour without dessert?

The entire Mancakes lineup – mini version.

The manly cupcake flavors included: Chicago Popcorn, Buffalo Wing, King Kong (chocolate, banana cream, and espresso marshmallow), Breakfast (bacon, egg cream, granola and maple syrup), Apple Brie, Tequila Pineapple, Whiskey Lime, Bacon Chili Chocolate, Chocolate Red Wine, Pink Peppercorn Grapefruit, Rum and Coke, and the daily special which was, I believe, Pepperoni Pizza.  Winners: Buffalo Wing, Whiskey Lime, Chicago Popcorn, Pink Peppercorn Grapefruit.  Loser: That Pepperoni Pizza.  Sausage and cream = not a good mix.

Akemi and Petunia, staying out of the cold.

 A great time was had by all.  Next time, Nicole will be leading our Chinatown tour!

 

 

March 30, 2014: Happy Birthday, Batman!

The caped crusader is 75!  Let’s celebrate the big day with some of Batman’s most memorable covers…

Does that skunk contain a kryptonite bomb?

The superboys, always comparing the size of their…uh…diamonds.

You can tell they’ve hit rock bottom by the little hobo sack on sticks they’re carrying.

While no actual crime has been committed, they’re getting a beating anyway.

Shocking!  I think the bird is done!  Ha ha!  Seriously though.  Let’s get him to the burn unit.

Let me guess.  Your driver’s license?

Doing a fine job of blending in.

Typical male.

And by “red” you mean “pink”, right?

On the one hand, he could kill Robin.  On the other, he’s THIS close to a perfect game.

Batman’s to do list: 1. Get laid.  2. Capture Joker.

Yeah, whatever happened to “Batboy”, a.k.a. “lamest superhero ever”?

Good thing that dog is wearing a mask.  Wouldn’t want to reveal his true identity.

Pesky drafts!  Presumably, this was before the invention of the bat-clasp.

It wouldn’t be so tragic if he weren’t so talented.

I would seriously reconsider placing my trust – to say nothing of my life – in the hands of a trained ape.  But maybe that’s why I’M not a superhero.

Now why the hell would the Queen make that crazy asumpti – Oh.  Right.

Batman: Fashion Menace!

Been there.  Fought that.

Oh, right.  The snowy white beard.  He’s really old.

Ah, the pain of unrequited love.

Have at thee, truculent street lamp!

Turning him into a baby was bad, but dressing him in those culottes was unforgivable.

Ho ho!  Those pranking sidekicks!

Every superhero has their weakness.

It’s Paul!  Paul’s the dead one!

Tagged: Batman

March 29, 2014: The Houseguests! T.V. Graphs! How’d the Stargates fare?

Check out our houseguest, the love of my buddy Tio’s life, the lovely Petunia.  She’s here for a sleepover and has come armed with her own pink bed, pink blanket, and snacks.  According to Tio, she’s a snuggler, so tonight will be interesting.  Four dogs on the bed.  Just like old times!

But Petunia wasn’t the only houseguest we entertained.  Earlier today, our friends Jeff and Barb dropped by for pecan pie, ice cream, drinks and, of course, dogs…

Lulu and Barb hit it off.

Jeff and the Yamazaki 18 year old whisky also really hit it off.

Family shot!

And, for no other reason than the fact that I’m already posting dog pictures, here’s a photo I snapped of Bubba last night sporting his samurai helmet…

Samurai pug!

I received an email today from our old friend, Trevor in Toronto, who alerted me to GraphTV, a site that charts a show’s performance based on viewer response over time.

Stargate: SG-1…

Stargate: Atlantis…

As Trevor pointed out, a lot “of shows fluctuate quite a lot, either up or down, but the what is clear from the graphs is SG-1 and Atlantis are some of the most consistent series ever made.”

As for Stargate: Universe, the breakdown is also telling…

And, again, Trevor says it best: “and it’s painful to see the SGU graph, because clearly that show was awesome and gaining momentum…”

Check out how your favorite shows fared here: http://io9.com/these-graphs-show-precisely-when-your-favorite-tv-show-1554419978

Or do your own research here: http://graphtv.kevinformatics.com/

Tagged: SG-1, SGA, SGU, Stargate, Stargate Universe, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: SG-1

March 28, 2014: The land of lawsuits!

A judge has allowed Big Beef’s lawsuit against ABC News to proceed: http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2014/0328/Pink-slime-lawsuit-moves-forward-Could-ABC-News-be-held-liable

 

I’m sure you all remember if not the story then, certainly, the image of the infamous “pink slime” (aka “finely textured beef”).  Beef Products Inc. claims the ABC news story was slanted and cost the company $1.2 billion while ABC insists their report was factual.  According to the plaintiff, even though ABC News did include a disclaimer, they take issue with the report’s description of the product as “not meat” and its questioning of the product’s safety (based on the concerns of certain scientists).

Of bigger issue here, in my opinion, is this: “What happens if corporate interests are able to, through the courts, curtail not just how journalists, but also average Americans, use language to hail or decry companies? Even unsuccessful lawsuits against media companies can have a chilling effect on journalists, legal experts say.”

Which brings us to THIS lawsuit - http://boston.cbslocal.com/2014/03/25/daily-talker-defamation-lawsuit-over-yelp-review/ - filed by the owner of a watch repair shop in Manhattan against a customer who gave him a negative review on Yelp.  Seriously.  I, for one, would love to go back and sue anyone who gave my Stargate episodes less than a 3 star review.  I’ll be keeping my eye on this one.

Meanwhile, http://qz.com/193046/the-guy-from-office-space-has-lost-his-lawsuit-against-illegal-flair/.  An actor from the movie Office Space sued 20th Century Fox for unjust use of his image in merchandise related to the film.  Not surprisingly, his lawsuit was dismissed.  It makes sense – the contracts are pretty clear – but part of me is somewhat saddened.  After all, I can’t begin to imagine how much money MGM made off the sales of DVD’s in which I made a special features appearance.

The big boys tussle: http://consumerist.com/2014/03/28/walmart-slaps-visa-with-5b-lawsuit-for-allegedly-fixing-card-swipe-fees/.  Walmart’s lawsuit against VISA for price fixing, colluding with the banks to set high fees for card swiping.  This follows a 5.7 billion dollar class-action settlement approved in December between merchants, VISA, and Mastercard.  In this battle of the titans, I’m rooting for – if not exactly the little guy, then the slightly less big guy.  The slightly less annoying big guy.  And, in this case, that’s Walmart.

Big international banks are on the receiving end of this class-action lawsuit - http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/sns-rt-us-banks-lawsuit-libor-20140328,0,2915892.story – filed by a Sanford, Florida man who accuses them of manipulating “manipulating yen-denominated interest rate benchmarks”.  Interestingly enough, “A Japanese investment banking unit of UBS in September was ordered to pay a $100 million criminal fine after pleading guilty to wire fraud for scheming to manipulate yen LIBOR to benefit a senior trader’s positions.”

Did Apple and Google conspire to drive down wages through mutually agreed-upon no-hire agreements?  Five software engineers believe so and they’ve filed a lawsuit against both companies “alleging a conspiracy to suppress pay by agreeing not to recruit or hire each other’s employees.”  http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/sns-rt-us-apple-google-ruling-20140328,0,7975951.story  This one is interesting as big tech giants aren’t the only ones who include non-compete clauses in their contracts.

Lisa Ling, co-host of The View, is being sued by a houseguest who slipped and fractured her foot on her steps: http://www.tmz.com/2014/03/26/lisa-ling-gets-dinged-with-banana-peel-lawsuit/.  Homeowners should, of course, always take the precaution of posting “CAUTION: HAZARDOUS STEPS” OR “BEWARE DANGEROUS CARPET” for visitors.

Thoughts?

March 27, 2014: April under-the-radar releases to look forward to! Or not!

DOM HEMINGWAY

Release Date: April 2, 2014

What it’s about: Following a near-death experience, an ex-felon safecracker attempts to re-connect with his estranged daughter – and pull off one final score.

What it’s got working for it: The trailer suggests a movie with a Sexy Beast, Layer Cake, Lock Sock and Two Smoking Barrels feel.  Three movies I quite enjoyed.

What’s it’s got going against it: I’m admittedly reluctant to embrace Jude Law as an aging tough.  But I’m perfectly willing to be won over.

THE GALAPAGOS AFFAIR: SATAN COMES TO EDEN

Release Date: April 4, 2014

What it’s about: A documentary on the true life 1930′s murder mystery on the Galapagos Island.

What it’s got working for it: It’s like a very dark Gilligan’s Island.

What’s it’s got going against it: The fact that the truth surrounding the strange events remains a mystery could leave some viewers unsatisfied.

GOODBYE WORLD

Release Date: April 4, 2014

What it’s about: The internet crashes.  Society soon follows.

What it’s got working for it: Rather than focusing on the large-scale destruction of our civilization, this movie instead tells a more personal story about a close-knit group trying to weather the storm.

What it’s got going against it: The trailer doesn’t pack the promised weight.

UNDER THE SKIN

Release Date: April 4, 2014

What it’s about: An alien predator takes human form to hunt her prey but, in time, begins to embrace her humanity.

What it’s got working for it: Looks spooky.  And unique.

What it’s got going against it: It faces the challenge of covering ground already well worn by the Species series.

WATERMARK

Release Date: April 4, 2014

What it’s about: From the barren desert delta to the biggest arch dam in the world, this documentary studies our relationship with water.

What it’s got working for it: Shot in 5k ultra high def.  Stunning scenery.

What it’s got going against it: It’s a movie about water.  90 minutes worth of interesting?  Maybe.

A FRAGILE TRUST

Release Date: April 11, 2014

What it’s about: The story of Jayson Blair, one of the most shocking serial plagiarists in history.

What it’s got working for it: The curiosity factor.  How did he get away with it for so long?

What it’s got going against it: Hopefully not a movie that celebrates this word thief.

13 SINS

Release Date: April 18, 2014

What it’s about: A down on his luck salesman is offered rewards for the completion of 13 sinister tasks.

What it’s got working for it: An intriguing premise.

What it’s got going against it: Nicholas Cage has never been all that picky about the types of movies he’ll do.  Could be very interesting.  Or just plain awful.

PROXY

Release Date: April 18, 2014

What it’s about: Two women in a support group form a bond that engenders dark consequences.

What it’s got working for it: Looks like a suspenseful thriller.  In the tradition of Single White Female?

What it’s got going against it: The performances seem a little shaky…but it could just be the edit.

 

Tagged: 13 Sins, A Fragile Trust, Don Hemingway, Goodbye World, Proxy, The Galapagos Affair: Satan Comes to Eden, Under the Skin, Watermark

March 26, 2014: April movie releases to look forward to! Or not!

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

Release Date: April 3, 2014

What it’s about: Captain America teams up with the Black Widow and the Falcon to unravel a mysterious conspiracy and battle an enigmatic enemy known as…The Winter Soldier.

What it’s got working for it: The trailer suggests a good-looking movie.

What’s it’s got going against it: Also looks a little hokey.

DRAFT DAY

Release Date: April 11, 2014

What it’s about: The general manager of the Cleveland Browns attempts to pull of a huge deal on draft day.

What it’s got working for it: The rare participation of the NFL in a feature film.  And some possible insight into the draft day process.

What’s it’s got going against it: Given the NFL’s participation, don’t expect any hard-hitting or surprising insights.

OCULUS

Release Date: April 11, 2014

What it’s about: Ten years after the disappearance of their parents, a brother and sister look for answers in an antique mirror.

What it’s got working for it: There is that promisingly cool scene where the brother and sister see themselves through the open window.

What’s it’s got going against it: Everything else in that trailer?  Been there; seen that.

RIO 2

Release Date: April 11, 2014

What it’s about: Those birds from the first movie vacation in the amazon.

What it’s got working for it: If you like the first one, you’ll probably enjoy the sequel as well.

What’s it’s got going against it: The trailer?  Let’s assume they’re saving the funny bits for the actual big screen experience.

HEAVEN IS FOR REAL

Release Date: April 16, 2014

What it’s about: A boy survives a near-death experience and returns with knowledge of things he couldn’t possibly know about.

What it’s got working for it: An interesting and hopeful premise.  ”Inspired by a true story”.

What’s it’s got going against it: The more pessimistic will question the honesty of the source material.

THE RETRIEVAL 

Release Date: April 18, 2014

What it’s about: In 1864, a young African-American boy is enlisted by bounty hunters to entrap a fugitive freedman.

What it’s got working for it: An interesting dilemma for our young hero who must struggle to choose between fear and respect, old and newfound loyalties.

What’s it’s got going against it: If you watch the trailer, you’ll note he doesn’t struggle very long.  Looks fairly straightforward.

TRANSCENDENCE

Release Date: April 18, 2014

What it’s about: The singularity is here!  A scientist becomes the surprising catalyst for the Artificial Intelligence he seeks to create.

What it’s got working for it: Not exactly original, but Johnny Depp’s involvement holds promise.

What’s it’s got going against it: Remember The Tourist?  Dark Shadows?

BRICK MANSIONS

Release Date: April 18, 2014

What it’s about: In one of his final films, Paul Walker plays an undercover cop who must team with an ex-con to take on a ruthless criminal hiding within the walls of a fortified future Detroit.

What it’s got working for it: Luc Besson’s movies can be fun (ie. The Professional, The Transporter, The Fifth Element).

What’s it’s got going against it: And, other times, horrendous.  Anybody catch The Family?

Tagged: Brick Mansion, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Draft Day, Heaven is for Real, Oculus, Rio 2, The Retrieval, Transcendence