Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 421

June 24, 2014: Jelly tries to put the kibosh on my travel plans!

The other night, I was awakened by a kerplunk (!), the unmistakable sound of a portly, elderly pug falling off the bed.  I sat up to discover 15 year old Jelly, struggling to stand up on the polished hardwood floor.  She seemed surprised but otherwise okay.  Just in case though, I brought her out to the backyard to make sure.  She did her business and seemed perfectly fine, so I scooped her up and we headed back up to bed.  This was the first of several incidents involving my old gal who has seemed notably crankier of late.  Akemi suspects it’s because Jelly senses my impending Toronto trip and is demonstrating her displeasure by acting up. Apparently, when I’m away, she is uncharacteristically quiet, sleeping through most of the day and only getting up for meals.  This is in sharp contrast to her demanding,  downright “diva-esque” attitude when I’m home.  Nary an hour goes by when she isn’t whining or crying or barking at me to pick her up, take her out, give her a snack, or generally demanding my undivided attention.  I’m amazed she’s able to get along without me and I wonder how she’ll do while I’m away.  I suppose she’ll be fine so long as Akemi remembers to keep her updated by reading my blog entries aloud to her.

Whoa, where do you think YOU’RE going?

Yes, I’m headed to Toronto for a few days to discuss strategy and come up with a game plan for my new scifi series.  We fly out early tomorrow morning and get in with plenty of time to have dinner with a former fellow Stargate writer-producer. Then, on Thursday, it’s all day meetings re: budgets, locations, visual effects, and deliveries.  I figure we’ll assemble a writers’ room here in Vancouver for a month in July-August and hammer out our 13 stories, then disperse and retreat to our respective lairs where we’ll write 10 of those 13 scripts.  I’m assuming we’ll go to camera sometime in early 2015.  This will give us plenty of time to prep what should be one hell of a twisty, turny, suspenseful, spectacular, action-packed, character-driven inaugural season.

Friday, I’ll be fly out of Toronto and head to Montreal for a day to visit with mom and sis and then, Saturday night, I’m homeward bound!

Of course this blog will be traveling with me.  I needn’t remind you that, tomorrow, we kick off our Star Trek: The Original Series re-watch.  Me and my fellow reviewer, Cookie Monster, will be weighing in on episode #1: The Man Trap!  Watch the episode and join tomorrow’s discussion!

Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regular whoviantrish.

Tagged: Dogs, pugs, Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, Start Trek TOS

June 23, 2014: Top 10 Worst Supervillain Names!

10. Paste Pot Pete

Look out!  He’s going to start shooting paste.  Out of his pot.  Oh, that Pete.

9. Crazy Quilt

Not to be confused with The Master Duvet.  Presumably, grandma helped him with his costume.

8. Rainbow Raider

Guard your rainbows!  As if those damn leprechauns weren’t bad enough.

7. Polka Dot Man

Winner of Mrs. Haversham’s grade 2 Name A Supervillain contest.

6. Stilt Man

Not particularly strong or fast or agile or deceptive.  But his creepy window-peeping range is incredible.  Eat your heart out, Galactus.

5. Forearm

Because he’s got four arms.  Get it?

4. Egg Fu

 But he prefers to be called Chang Tzu.  I don’t blame him.

3. Angar the Screamer

He eventually hooked up with fellow questionably-named supervillain Screaming Mimi.  They were destined to be together

June 22, 2014: Top 10 Worst Superhero Names!

10. The Whizzer

AKA “The Yellow Streak”?  Does the W on his chest stand for “wee”?

9. Matter Eater Lad

Look at him go to town on that chain link fence!  Bombs, bullets, getaway cars – there is no limit to his amazing powers of consumption!  Unless, of course, he gets full.

8. Aqualad

Batman had Robin, Captain America had Bucky and Aquaman had…well, this incorrigible little (presumably) English scamp.

7. Strong Guy

Guess his super power!

6. 3-D Man

Whoa!  Not one, not two, but THREE dimensions!

5. Elongated Man

Because he’s, uh, really long.

4. Mr. Fantastic

Not just fantastic, but Mr. Fantastic.  And then he names his team after himself.  What an egomaniac.

3. Thor Girl

What’s next?  Captain America Boy?  Iron Man Girl?  Wolverine Woman?

2. Bouncing Boy

He has the power of his legs never getting tired from walking.

1. Squirrel Girl

She once defeated Dr. Doom.

No.  Really.

June 21, 2014: Mailbag!

Well, damn.  This pilot script simply refuses to be completed.  I’m thinking I may just have to set it aside and come back at it with fresh eyes in a  couple of months.

Time to shift creative gears and start reviewing some alternate materials: pilot script, series overview, special “character secrets” document, and the 13 episode first season breakdown.  Thinking it may be a good idea to simply start work on episode #2 (The Corrupted).

Mailbag:

Jen Draves writes: “How are the dogs doing?”

Answer: The dogs are well.  Bubba is beginning to slow down, no longer jumping like he used to, but he is 12 so I suppose it’s to be expected.

Line Noise writes: “I can confirm the existence of chip butties. My girlfriend introduced them to me (it’s not a thing in Australia) and they’re OK if you want to cargo-load.”

Answer: Like, you mean, before you run a marathon?  Carb up on chip butties?

Tam Dixon writes: “Is your project the one Brain Smith has been talking about?”

Answer: It isn’t, but it’s great to hear about Brian’s new show.  He’s incredibly talented – and genuinely good guy.  Very happy for him.

JimfromJersey writes: “Good luck Joe! When can you tell us the name of the project?”

Answer: I assume the official announcement will come sometime next week.

baterista9 writes: “Wonder if my local library has DVDs or the James Blish anthologies?”

Answer: I have the photo novels back home in Montreal!

They’re in mom’s garage somewhere.

Chris L writes: “Whatever happened to 24 Episode seasons?”

Answer: It depends on the series and where it lands.  Cable shows usually run 10-13 episodes per season while network shows tend to be 20+.  I prefer the former as both a viewer and a writer/producer.

Ponytail writes: “Well let’s go Joe. We’re ready. Where are we flying to?”

Answer: Toronto for a few days after which we need to get the writers’ room started.  At some point in July, I’m going to have to visit L.A. for a few days.

JeffW writes: “I did make up some Carolina BBQ sauce…”

Question: What distinguishes a Carolina BBQ sauce from any other BBQ sauce?

katydid writes: “Also, for all those Star Trek TOS series geeks that are coming out of the woodwork (YES!!) have a listen here:

It’s the sound FX from the original series!! I may just listen to it later while cleaning the house :D”

Answer: Awesome.  I’m going to have to download these to my iPhone.

katydid also writes: “There’s also another fan made film with Nichelle Nichols, Walter Keonig from TOS plus numerous other ST cast members. Exciting stuff!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=kFqAME7dx58″;

Answer: I stumbled upon this series the other day and, I must admit, I’m very impressed.  I fully intend to check the out once we’ve completed our re-watch.  In fact, it might be fun to include these three episodes at the end of our re-watch.

June 20, 2014: And so it begins…

Looks like things are about to get real busy, real fast.  A flurry of emails today, a few phone conversations, some decisions made and many more to come.  We’ll be flying out next week for a few days to crunch some numbers, clarify positions, and, of course, have dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants.  And after that? Well, I’d like to say “smooooooth sailing”, but let’s be realistic.  It’s going to be a challenging few months of spinning, breaking and writing – and then an even more challenging six months (or so) of production, but I am ready to roll.  Fully charged cell phone?  Check?  13 episode first season outline?  Check?  Lucky coin and chain mail undergarments?  Check!

No, I didn’t finish that pilot script I said I was going to finish today.   But thanks for asking.  Every time I would sit down and start reviewing, someone would call or I’d receive an urgent email or happen across a hilarious video online:

But I mean it.  I’m going to finish up this blog entry and get right back to work.  And, when I do, I’ll have a magical solution to all those clunky beats I’ve been agonizing over for the last week and a half.

Wish me luck!

P.S. Rumor has it that our British friends eat french fry sandwiches.  It’s one of those things that sound too bizarre not to be true.  Can anyone confirm/deny?    And perhaps explain why?

Thanks in advance.

June 19, 2014: A busy day, but there’s always time for dogs!

A crazy day, chock full o’ tests of physical endurance, phone calls, emails, errands, reading, critiquing but, alas, no actual writing.  Damn.  I’ve been sitting on this pilot for over a week now.  Time to get it done!  Tomorrow, come hell or high water, I finally complete that elusive first draft.  Best decant the Knob Creek tonight.

Another reminder that we’ve kicked off our Stark Trek (the original series) re-watch!

Next Wednesday, we’ll be reconvening to discuss the show’s first five episodes: The Man Trap, Charlie X, Where No Man Has Gone Before, The Naked Time, and The Enemy Within.

Yes, technically, The Cage and the original version of Where No Man Has Gone Before fall earlier in the chronology, but we’ll save those particular episodes for a later viewing.

So tell your friends!  I’ll be sitting down to a back to back to back to back to back screening sometime this weekend.

Hey, while, you’re here, enjoy some pics of the gang…

Akemi and her boyfriend, Bubba, on Granville Island.

Jelly in summer mode.

Jelly (photo compliments of ace photog force).

Bubba (via gforce)

Snoozing Lulu

Tagged: french bulldog, pugs, Star Trek

June 18, 2014: Join our Star Trek TOS re-watch!

Ah, those were the days!

Full disclosure: I haven’t watched a full episode of Star Trek TOS since I was a kid. And, sure, we’ve come a long way since then and a lot of this old series will, no doubt, feel charmingly outdated by today’s standards but, damn, if I don’t feel a shiver of excitement every time I catch a scene of the original crew in their vibrant uniforms or a shot of the Enterprise in orbit or that stirring theme and jazzy dramatic underscore.  I am SO looking forward to this!

Yes, let’s make it official.  We are gonna have us an old-fashioned Star Trek: The Original Series re-watch!

Yes, we’ll be re-screening all 79 episodes of Gene Roddenberry’s SF classic from “The Man Trap” through to “Turnabout Intruder” in glorious technicolor.

Now I realize that everybody’s schedules are different and the prospect of watching an single a day may prove tricky for some, so I’m going to suggest the following viewing plan: we’ll watch the show in weekly 5-episode instalments.  So, over the course of those seven days, you can watch those five episodes at your convenience.  You can watch one a day or all five in one sitting.  Whatever works best for you.  And then, next Wednesday (June 25th), we’ll reconvene, here on this blog, and discuss.

The five episodes we’ll be watching this week will be:

1. The Man Trap (Stardate: 1513.1, Original Air Date: September 8, 1966)

Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy meets a former girlfriend when the Enterprise brings supplies to a remote archaeological survey group.  Still attractive to McCoy, the woman’s current appearance holds a dark and deadly secret.

2. Charlie X (Stardate: 1533.6, Original Air Date: September 15, 1966)

Raised as a child by non corporeal beings, 17 year old Charlie Evans is picked up and transferred to the Enterprise.  On board the ship, the teenager proves dangerously unable to wield his enormous psionic powers with maturity.

3. Where No Man Has Gone Before (Stardate: 1312.4, Original Air Date: September 22, 1966)

When the Enterprise encounters a force field at the edge of the galaxy, one of the crew member’s psionic abilities are accelerated to godlike proportions, causing him to become a powerful, murderous being.

4. The Naked Time (Stardate: 1704.2, Original Air Date: September 29, 1966)

An alien virus strips the Enterprise crew of their inhibitions, causing chaos as each crew member is overcome by hidden emotions.  Meanwhile, the Enterprise is being pulled inexorably into a nearby planet’s gravity well.

5. The Enemy Within (Stardate: 1672.1, Original Air Date: October 6, 1966)

Split by a transporter malfunction into two beings with very different personalities, the resulting twin Captain Kirk proves that neither a purely evil or purely good Captain can survive without the missing half.

So, what do you say?  Are you in?  Know any fans of the original series who would like to watch along?  Let ‘em know!  Spread the word!  And we’ll see you next Wednesday!!!

No.  Wait.  I’ve still go a blog to update.

See you tomorrow.

Tagged: Star Trek, Star Trek TOS, Star Trek: The Original Series

June 17, 2014: Back on the mean streets of Sesame!

Well look who it is.  If it isn’t our old friend Cookie Monster who, only last summer, announced he was through hosting our weekly Supermovie of the Week Club and done penning reviews of such big screen classics as The Dark Knight, Spiderman, and Abar: The First Black Superman.  Well, what a difference a year (most of it spent at the Muppetville Correctional Institute) makes.  Apparently, the terms of his early prison release requires him to hold down a job for the length of his probationary period and, well, it was either resuming his duties as this blog’s resident film critic or becoming an analyst for ESPN’s coverage of the extreme ironing championships.

Yes, it’s a thing.

He chose the former, but not before phoning me (collect!) and begging for his old job back.   As you know, I’m all about second chances – like a second chance at making someone sit through excruciatingly lengthy and lumbering films about guys in tights punching each other’s lights out (Hello, Man of Steel!).  And so, I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome Cookie Monster back.

Over the next few months, we can all look forward to reviews of Man of Steel, The Wolverine, Kick-Ass 2, Super Buddies, Thor: The Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Amazing Spiderman 2, and X-Men: Days of Future Past.  Also on his critical horizon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Don’t you just hate reboots?), Guardians of the Galaxy, and Lucy!

Feel free to check out Cookie Monster’s past movie reviews – all collected on a single site – here:

http://cookiemonstermovereviews.wordpress.com

I’m also thinking of enlisting Cookie to head up a Star Trek TOS re-watch.  Anyone interested?

* Cookie Monster in jail pic via arcaderevolution.org

*Cookie Monster mugshot via worth1000.com

June 16, 2014: July under-the-radar movie releases to look forward to! Or not!

LIFE ITSELF

Release Date: July 4, 2014

What it’s about: A documentary on the life of film critic Roger Ebert.

What it’s got working for it: As someone who grew up watching Siskel & Ebert, I’m interested.

What’s it’s got going against it: Those unfamiliar with his work may not be quite as intrigued.

*

ROAD TO PALOMA

Release Date: July 11, 2014

What it’s about: A Native-American faces a journey of redemption after seeking revenge for his mother’s death.

What it’s got working for it: Jason Momoa’s directorial debut.

What’s it’s got going against it: Hopefully the murky trailer isn’t indicative of the film’s quality.

*

WISH I WAS HERE

Release Date: July 18, 2014

What it’s about: A 35 year old man examines his life, career, and family.

What it’s got working for it: The positive vibes of the kickstarter campaign that funded it.

What’s it’s got going against it: It looks maudlin and cliche.  Must every “feel good” movie include a shot of people driving in a convertible, smiling, arms outstretched to the wind?

*

A MOST WANTED MAN

Release Date: July 25, 2014

What it’s about: A Chechen ex-prisoner arrives in Hamburg’s Islamic community, seeking to reclaim his father’s ill-gotten fortune.

What it’s got working for it: Philip Seymour Hoffman’s last film, based on a novel by John le Carré.

What’s it’s got going against it:  Some early reviews criticize its style over substance.

*

GOOD PEOPLE

Release Date: July 25, 2014

What it’s about: A young couple’s decision to help themselves to a dead neighbor’s cash results in dark consequences.

What it’s got working for it: Omar Sy makes an unnervingly convincing bad guy.

What’s it’s got going against it: Unlike everyone else in Hollywood, I don’t buy James Franco.

*

MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

What it’s about: An Englishman attempts to unmask a con artist in 1920′s southern France.

What it’s got working for it: The trailer looks promising.  Woody Allen has made some great movies (Annie Hall, Bananas, Sleeper).

What’s it’s got going against it: And some not so great ones (Celebrity, Shadows and Fog, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion).

 

 

Tagged: A Most Wanted Man, Good People, Life Itself, Magic in the Moonlight, Road to Paloma, Wish I Was Here

June 15, 2014: July movie releases to look forward to! Or not!

TAMMY

Release Date: July 2, 2014

What it’s about: A lifetime loser embarks on a road trip to Niagara Falls with her grandmother.

What it’s got working for it: Two great actresses in Melissa McCarthy and Susan Sarandon.

What’s it’s got going against it: But you’ve got to give them material to work with. Very hard to tell that’s the case from this trailer.

***

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES

Release Date: July 11, 2014C

What it’s about: Caesar and his apes battle Earth’s virus-ravaged survivors.

What it’s got working for it: Terrific-looking visual effects and make-up.

What’s it’s got going against it: Big shoes to fill.  And, no, I’m not talking about that Tim Burton catastrophe.

***

THE PURGE: ANARCY

Release Date: July 18, 2014

What it’s about: In a near future America, citizens are permitted to purge their violent and criminal tendencies for one twelve-hour period each year.

What it’s got working for it: A potentially interesting twist on the premise focuses on a group caught “outside” during the purge.

What’s it’s got going against it: The first movie was a huge disappointment.

***

SEX TAPE

Release Date: July 18, 2014

What it’s about: A couple accidentally make their sex tape public.

What it’s got working for it: “You did the full Lincoln” is a promising line.

What’s it’s got going against it: The rest of the trailer doesn’t look all that inspired.

***

HERCULES

Release Date: July 25, 2014

What it’s about: The legendary warrior must save Thrace from an evil warlord.

What it’s got working for it: Dazzling visual effects.

What’s it’s got going against it: Hercules?  Who cares?

***

LUCY

Release Date: July 25, 2014

What it’s about: A drug mule turns the tables on her employers when the drug she is smuggling leaks into her system and transform her into a superhuman by allowing her to use – gasp! – more than 10% of her brain capacity (Dear Mr. Besson, please read: http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/10percent.asp)

What it’s got working for it: Presumably it’s not going to take itself that seriousl

What’s it’s got going against it: It looks f**king stupid as sh*t.

 

Tagged: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Hercules, Lucy, Sex Tape, Tammy, The Purge: Anarcy