Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 420

May 22, 2014: Now we play the waiting game….. Ahh, the waiting game sucks. Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos!

One of the most irritating aspects of this business is the insufferable waiting. Waiting for notes.   Waiting for ratings.  Waiting for the catering truck to start serving lunch.  And, chiefest of all, waiting for a green light.  In the case of the latter, the frustration is both subjective and objective.  You’re personally frustrated by a hold-up that actually frustrates the process, hindering and adversely affecting the final product.

The most valuable currency in film and television production is…wait for it…money (Seriously.  What did you think I was going to say?).  But coming in a close second is time.  Having the time to properly prepare allows you to maximize your resources, making the most efficient use of what you have, thereby ensuring better quality.  Less time, on the other hand, translates to rushed executions at every level of the process.  The result: an inferior product that leaves viewers wondering “How the hell did that crap get on the air?”.  Well, it got on the air because, at some point, it was a pretty good idea, a good idea that was completely eviscerated by a creative team scrambling to feed the pipeline, address last minutes notes, and make a deadline delivery.

The luxury/paucity of time also influences quality when it comes to a production’s biggest asset: personnel.  Heading into battle, you want people you can trust watching your back.  Television production?  Same thing.  And the more challenging the show, the better positioned you are with reliable, talented individuals who can help shoulder the load, making YOUR job that much easier. Again, money helps in securing the right personnel.  And so does time.  But time can work against you as well, especially when other opportunities present themselves and the people you were counting on have to make a choice between a real paying job or your “it REALLY look like it’s going to happen but we don’t have an official green light yet” hypothetical show.  More frustration.  AND frustration.

All this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone but, for some reason, the decision-makers don’t seem to care.  Why not?  Is it because they have too much on their respective plates?  That the deal-making process is as arduous and intricate as bomb defusion?  Or are they just too busy catching up on this past season of Game of Thrones and House of Cards (two shows, incidentally, that, no doubt, gave THEIR writers the time to craft tight, well-conceived scripts)?  A friend of mine offers an alternate theory: The decision-makers don’t care because they don’t understand or respect the writing process.   To them, writing a script is as simple as turning on a tap.  Just twist the spigot and the ideas flow, ready-formed, onto the page: character arcs, clever dialogue, surprising plot twists and narrative developments.  I mean – seriously – how hard can it be?  I’m reminded of what someone once said to me: “You have the best job in the world.  You just sit around all day, making stuff up.”  Sure.  Much like NASCAR drivers sit around all day winning the Sprint Cup Series or scientists sit around all day, making new breakthroughs in medicine (To Do List: Cure Cancer.  Win Nobel Prize.  Pick up Mitch from his dental appointment at 11:00).  Step right up and order your script.  Do you want pathos and humor with that?  A side of richly textured characters?  Some clever fourth act twist topping?  Sure!  No problem!

Of course, occasionally, there will come a rare instant, in both high school math class and television development, when two negatives actually yield positive results.   When that long-forgotten project you went into development on ten months ago slowly creeps back onto the radar and overtakes your hypothetical show-in-waiting.  And, invariably, not long after you commit to that other project, the decision-makers finally get around to pulling the trigger on your poised-to-go show only to be informed “Sorry, I’m busy.”.  But not to worry.  You’ll be free again. Eventually.  All they have to do is wait.

And, let’s face it.  It’s something they should be pretty good at by now.

 

May 21, 2014: Conversations with my Japanese girlfriend!

This morning as I was prepping her for our medical phone consult:

Me: The nurse will just ask you general questions like – Do you exercise?  Do you get enough sleep?

Akemi: Do you see ghosts?  Do you see aliens?

Me: Those questions are more likely to come up during your Mental Health assessment.

Akemi: And if you see ghosts at night, you have brain issues.

Me: Only at night?

Akemi: Yes.  People may see ghosts or aliens or God.

She considers.

Akemi: Do you know who sees God a lot?

Me: Who?

Akemi: Pirates.

Me: Pirates?  Why pirates?

Akemi: Pi-rets.  (enunciating)  Pi-ROTS.

Me: Pilots?

Akemi: They go up into space.

Me:  Oh.  Astronauts.

Akemi: Yes.  A lot of them see God because the air pressure – how do you say? – is too high or too low, so they see things.

Me: Like God.

Akemi:  Yes.  And they say God is very nice guy.

Beat.

Akemi: So nice to know.

May 20, 2014: Back to business!

A gentle reminder that our Book of the Month Club reconvenes on June 2nd to Paul McCauley’s Evening’s Empires.  But you already knew that because the information is right there on this blog’s sidebar.

Also, since we’re on the subject, allow me to announce the winner of our July Book of the Month Club poll.  This one wasn’t even close.  The winner…

WHITE FIRE by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child

Discussion kicks off Monday, July 7th.

I spent the morning fleshing out the 13-episode arc for “that scifi series” (You know the one).  It’s a routine I’ve gotten into.  Every night, I lie awake in bed for hours, running through each episode in my head, coming up with details here, twists and turns there, then wake up the following morning, thoroughly exhausted, and get it all down.  Rinse.  Repeat.  This way, when we convene to break the series – sometime in June – we’ll be able to make efficient use of our time.  The aim will be to beat out 10 of the 13 stories so that we can all go off, write for several months, and come back with finished scripts for the start of production…hopefully in October.

I spent a couple of hours this afternoon going over a preliminary budget.  With careful planning, having the right people in place, and by maximizing our resources, I have no doubt we’ll be able to produce a kick-ass show.  I’m hoping those final annoying/outstanding pieces fall into place before week’s end so that we can start making deals.  As I mentioned in a previous entry, I’ve spoken to some old friends to gauge their interest in getting the band back together, and there are several more I’d like to talk to once we get the official go.

So close.  I can almost taste the singular anxiety and frustration that only being in production can provoke.

Ah, to sit in a ship’s command chair once again.  Approve a final visual effects shot. Wake up while it’s still dark out and drive 45 minutes to a location where you spend the day huddled around a monitor,  eating lukewarm pigs-in-a-blanket, trying not to inadvertently amble through a shot on your way to the honey wagon…

May 19, 2014: There’s no place like home!

According to our dog-sitter, my pug Jelly was “fussing a lot today”.  Despite her hip dysplasia and arthritic shoulders, she couldn’t sit still.  It was as if she could sense something was up.  Something like…

Dad coming home!

Yes, following four great days in Vegas, I am back in familiar territory more familiar territory (since, truth be told, The Strip has become a sort of home away from home over the years).  It was a terrific trip.  We spent time with friends, ate at some fantastic restaurants (Julian Serrano, Joe’s Stone Crab, and Jaleo) and, when all was said and done, I came out ahead at the tables.  Well, technically, I lost some money – but nowhere near as much as I was prepared to lose, so I’m going to consider that a win.  There was that hiccup with our accommodations on the first night, but once we moved from The Cosmopolitan to The Aria, we were much more comfortable.  Still, I don’t think I’d stay at the Aria again.  It’s a minor quibble, but the rooms are way too dark.  There is no central light source so I had to rely on reading lamps for my night time reading – but the illumination they provided was incredibly poor.  No wonder my eyes ached for most of my trip.  Also, the blackout curtains did a damn poor job of actually blacking out the morning sunlight.  As a result, we were usually up by 7 a.m.  Nope.  I think it’s going to be back to The Bellagio for me on my next trip to Sin City.  Whenever that is?  Quick!  Who’s in for a group vacation?!

Breakfast: a vanilla eclair and a nutella napolean. Pesto chicken sandwich not pictured because who cares.

May 18, 2014: Vegas Day #4!

So what exactly is “turndown service”?  I mean, I know what it is.  Sort of.  At some point, after they’ve made up your hotel room, someone comes back in the late afternoon to pull down the comforter and fold over your bed sheet.  Because….?  Is it an excuse to come in and check up on you to make sure you’re okay?  Some sort of reminder (“Don’t forget to sleep tonight!”).  It seems purposeless to me, but what do I know.  Maybe I’m missing something painfully obvious.  And I’m sure I can count on one of you to enlighten me.

Well, the plan today was to head down to the enormous sports book at Caesar’s Palace, put down on a couple of games, and spend the afternoon watching hockey/basketball.  Rob and I got there early and placed our bets.  Rob put some money down on the L.A. Kings and, since he seemed to know what we was doing (in retrospect, he did not), I followed suit.  And lost.  I was torn when it came to the basketball game.  On the one hand, I thought the Miami Heat would win.  On the other hand, I couldn’t, in good conscience, root for the Miami Heat – even with money riding on them.  And so, I went against my gut instinct and took the Indiana Pacers.  Who ended up winning.

Unfortunately, because the games started at around noon, me and the gang were having brunch at the Mesa Grill while all the action was taking place.  I’ve never been a big fan of brunch which has always struck me as a half-ass cross between breakfast and lunch.  It’s like you’re embarrassed to be serving breakfast but not fully committed to lunch so you offer a maudlin medley of both.  Alex and Thobias seemed to enjoy their southwestern corn things, but I found my pork tenderloin sandwich merely meh.

From there, Akemi and I headed over to The Cosmpolitan for a couples massage.  I have very sensitive muscles (to compliment my very sensitive personality) and requested the light touch (which, for some reason, invariably disappoints the masseuse).  Akemi claimed it was the best massage she’d ever had.  As for me…another meh.  It was fine.  Although I might have to downgrade that raring because, four hours later, my back started to ache.  Is that SUPPOSED to happen after a message?  Is it the “toxins” being released?

After some post-massage downtime, we said goodbye to Ivon, Alex, and Thobias who were flying out tonight, then headed over to Jaleo for dinner with Rob and Hillary.  It’s one of our favorite restaurants in Vegas and it didn’t disappoint.  Some of the highlights included:

Jose’s patatas bravas

Iberico pork sliders

Olive oil ice cream with grapefruit. Akemi’s favorite.

Jose’s version of french toast.

I swung by the sports book to place a wager on some Superbowl contenders only to find it closed.  CLOSED!  We cut through the casino on the way back to our room with the intention of playing a little roulette – but the tables were packed, while a half dozen sat empty and unmanned.  Weird.  If Vegas is looking for ways to improve its gambling numbers, I’ve got a couple of suggestions.

And so, instead of playing roulette – or putting some money down on football – I headed back to my room to pack because…

We fly back home tomorrow.

But before I go, if I have time, I may swing by that sports book – provided it’s open at 10 a.m. – and put down on a couple of superbowl contenders.  I’ve narrowed my choices down to:

The Carolina Panthers at 50-1 (Kathode, you present a good argument.  Less so for those Detroit Lions).

The Chicago Bears at 20-1

The Green Bay Packers at 12-1

The Indianapolis Colts at 25-1

The New Orleans Saints at 22-1

I’m thinking of going with three.  But which three?

May 17, 2014: Vegas Day #3!

Two great photo ops for Akemn.  As is often the case when meeting celebrities, their true life personas don’t always mirror their onscreen characters.   Spongebob, for instance, was atypically silent – but no less genial, while Minion turned out to be a little a grabby.  And flatulent.

An excellent dinner last night at Sage Restaurant.  Highlights included a sweetbread and pork belly appetizer and the glass of absinthe I had with my chocolate and foie gras dessert.  Unsurprisingly, I had a sleepless last night but woke up early this morning to do it all over again.

Akemi and I checked out the spa.  While Akemi detoxified in the hot stone room, I brought along my book and relaxed in the “salt room”.

Sitting there in an oversized recliner with about a half dozen other people in monotone robes, surrounded by salt block walls, a weird New Age hum resonating constantly, I felt like an extra in a 1970′s scifi movie.

After working up an appetite reading for about an hour, I headed over to The Cosmopolitan where I met the rest of the gang for a lunch of authentic Chinese-Mexican cuisine at China Poblano.

These guys

Those guys

And Hillary

The verdict (on the food, not the company which was, of course, fabulous) = meh.  I had high hopes for the beef tendon duck tongue tacos but they failed to wow.  And, surprisingly, neither did…

The nearby bakery’s version of the cronut – except they don’t call it a cronut. I was actually expecting it to be richer.

After losing all the money I made back last night playing roulette which I lost playing blackjack (at blackjack), Akemi and I abandoned Ivon to the cruel hand of fate – and the craps table – to walk ourselves silly. Once again.  We checked out The Palazzo -

Which is pretty much another version of The Bellagio.

We walked so far down The Strip (all the way to The Wynn) that, by the time it was time to turn back, there was no way we could make it to our hotel in time for a stopover before dinner – so we headed straight to Caesar’s where we met the rest of the gang for an old-school supper at Joe’s Stone Crab.  Highlights included crab, steak, and about a half-dozen pies including Boston cream, peanut butter, Havana, banana cream, and, of course, the house special key lime pie.

The stone crab

While everyone else headed downtown to check out the Freemont Experience, I had to beg off and head back to my hotel.

“I think that extra crab leg put did me in,”I explained.

“You sure it was the crab leg?”asked a clearly dubious Rob.

What else could it have been?  The five pieces of pie (technically six as we’d doubled up on the key lime)?  Come on.  I’m a professional!

On the way back to the Aria, we stopped off to catch the fountain show outside The Bellagio -

Tomorrow, we’re going to hit the sports book.  Quick, give me a tip! Who is going to win the Superbowl next year?

May 16, 2014: Vegas Day #2!

My feets be hurt.

We walked around all day.  And then, when it came time to get on the tram and ride it back to our hotel, we couldn’t find it, so we had to walk.  And walk an extra block to boot because we changed hotels this morning.  We are now staying at the Aria.  MUCH better.

Last night, I informed The Cosmopolitan that I’d be leaving early.

Me: I’ll be leaving early.

Front Desk Guy: How did you enjoy your stay?

Me: I’m leaving early.

Front Desk Guy: Oh.  Why’s that?

Me: I didn’t like my room.

Front Desk Guy: Well, why don’t we look into getting you a new room?

Me: Already tried.  You’re apparently overbooked.

He checks his computer.  Then: “I wished you’d come to me.  I could get you a junior suite.”

Seriously?  Wish I’d gone to him?  The guy I just met right that second?  Assume HE could get me a room when another hotel representative informed me they were over booked?

Anyway, did I mention the Aria is MUCH nicer.  And – BONUS – Akemi has a bathtub!

And she’s going to need it after all the ground we covered today.

Iberico pork sliders at Julian Serrano.

rabo de toro (ox tail, Iberian pork, and mashed potatoes) at Julian Serrano

Pistachio tart at Julian Serrano

Strawberry shortcake

Assorted cupcakes

Frosted donuts

Assorted pie slices

Assorted tarts

My dessert tray. They’re actually various soaps. I’m a sucker for anything that smells like food. Including actual food.

Tomorrow is spa day.  I think I’m going to request one of those hot coal massages.  That’s what it’s called, isn’t it?

May 15, 2014: Vegas, Day #1!

Welcome to The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

How incredibly disappointing.  Last time we were here, we had a balcony with a view overlooking the Bellagio fountains and, most importantly, a nice deep bathtub for Akemi to soak away the afternoon.  This time around = no balcony, no view, and no bathtub at all.

The above-pictured artwork (slightly adjusted for irony) adorns the wall above my bed and neatly sums up my feelings right about now.

To think I left THIS behind:

May 14, 2014: Hockey, waiting, and alarmingly elaborate culinary creations!

Last night as the game headed into overtime…

Me: “Who are you rooting for, the Chicago Blackhawks or the Minnesota Wild?”

Akemi: “The Minestrone Wild.”

Alas, it was a sad night in Minestrone.  The Wild ended up losing and were eliminated from playoff contention.

Well, we’re Vegas-bound for a few days.  I was hoping to have everything wrapped up on this new project by now but, of course, things are progressing at a glacial pace because…well, welcome to show business.  That awesome lead time we were looking to take advantage of is gradually shrinking away.  There may come a point when my enthusiasm to face the challenges ahead will wane and I’ll simply have to move on.  Not there yet but if this goes on much longer without definitive word, or I lose any of my key players while we’re waiting, then I’m going to have to start looking southwards.  Again.  And, when I do, I think I’ll be looking at a changing of the old guard.

On the one hand, it’ll be nice to get away.  On the other hand, we’ll certainly miss the dogs.  Especially Akemi who has…maybe not quite “lost her mind” but certainly “shown alarmingly elaborate creativity” in preparing their various snacks and meals, to wit:

Exhibit A: Bear cookies (peanut butter, sesame, oats, cinnamon, nutritious yeast, and dried cranberries).

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Finally, since we’re on the topic of suspect culinary creations – Akemi has taken a liking to the offerings at a local eatery featuring “health conscious” cuisine, everything from veggie pot pie to chocolate-beet cake (Why you would do that to a perfectly good chocolate cake?).  She’ll stop off every Wednesday, while I’m doing the rounds of my local book and comic book stores, and grab herself at oat bran square or a day-old muffin (Not because she can’t afford the fresh ones but because she actually prefers the drier leftovers).  The other day, she decided to go off-book and picked up one of their cookies.  Check it out:

As my father was fond of saying: “Who did THAT in THERE?!”.

 

May 12, 2014: Brain check! Ready, set, but not quite go!

I registered Akemi and me for one of those private health plans that allows you to see a specialist or run a CT scan without having to wait for six months or longer. Part of the service is a comprehensive health assessment that includes blood tests, a full physical, and visits with a dietitian, kinesiologist, and someone called a “Brain Health and Psychological Health Consultant”.  When I informed Akemi about the latter, she seemed genuinely concerned.

Akemi: “Even though I sometimes give the wrong answer in English, my brain is correct.”

Me:  “Well, we’ll let the experts decide.”

By the time we get around to having MY head examined, I could well be in a lot of trouble.  But nothing that the proper prescription can’t cure: valium, tranquillizers, or chewable bourbon tablets.  The past couple of weeks have been mighty crazy as we scramble to put the pieces together for this potential production.  It finally looks like it’s going to happen (let’s say 90% sure), but if it does, it won’t be without its challenges.  Still, we’ll have plenty of lead time to plan and write some tight, production-friendly scripts.  Today, I sent Paul my plan for the 13 episode first season and will do the same for our Production-Designer-in-waiting, provided we hear some good news on the budget front tomorrow.  I’m sure you’ll all agree that construction and VFX are key, especially for a ship-based show, so it’s important for those numbers to make sense.  And if they do, great!  If they don’t, I’m moving to Japan to become a hilarious gaikokkujin comedian.

Or maybe just end up on one of their prank shows:

Head on over here to help support Stargate fan Bethany who is raising money for a support Service Dog: http://www.gofundme.com/ServiceDog4BethanyDraves