Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 417

June 21, 2014: Mailbag!

Well, damn.  This pilot script simply refuses to be completed.  I’m thinking I may just have to set it aside and come back at it with fresh eyes in a  couple of months.

Time to shift creative gears and start reviewing some alternate materials: pilot script, series overview, special “character secrets” document, and the 13 episode first season breakdown.  Thinking it may be a good idea to simply start work on episode #2 (The Corrupted).

Mailbag:

Jen Draves writes: “How are the dogs doing?”

Answer: The dogs are well.  Bubba is beginning to slow down, no longer jumping like he used to, but he is 12 so I suppose it’s to be expected.

Line Noise writes: “I can confirm the existence of chip butties. My girlfriend introduced them to me (it’s not a thing in Australia) and they’re OK if you want to cargo-load.”

Answer: Like, you mean, before you run a marathon?  Carb up on chip butties?

Tam Dixon writes: “Is your project the one Brain Smith has been talking about?”

Answer: It isn’t, but it’s great to hear about Brian’s new show.  He’s incredibly talented – and genuinely good guy.  Very happy for him.

JimfromJersey writes: “Good luck Joe! When can you tell us the name of the project?”

Answer: I assume the official announcement will come sometime next week.

baterista9 writes: “Wonder if my local library has DVDs or the James Blish anthologies?”

Answer: I have the photo novels back home in Montreal!

They’re in mom’s garage somewhere.

Chris L writes: “Whatever happened to 24 Episode seasons?”

Answer: It depends on the series and where it lands.  Cable shows usually run 10-13 episodes per season while network shows tend to be 20+.  I prefer the former as both a viewer and a writer/producer.

Ponytail writes: “Well let’s go Joe. We’re ready. Where are we flying to?”

Answer: Toronto for a few days after which we need to get the writers’ room started.  At some point in July, I’m going to have to visit L.A. for a few days.

JeffW writes: “I did make up some Carolina BBQ sauce…”

Question: What distinguishes a Carolina BBQ sauce from any other BBQ sauce?

katydid writes: “Also, for all those Star Trek TOS series geeks that are coming out of the woodwork (YES!!) have a listen here:

It’s the sound FX from the original series!! I may just listen to it later while cleaning the house :D”

Answer: Awesome.  I’m going to have to download these to my iPhone.

katydid also writes: “There’s also another fan made film with Nichelle Nichols, Walter Keonig from TOS plus numerous other ST cast members. Exciting stuff!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=kFqAME7dx58″;

Answer: I stumbled upon this series the other day and, I must admit, I’m very impressed.  I fully intend to check the out once we’ve completed our re-watch.  In fact, it might be fun to include these three episodes at the end of our re-watch.

June 20, 2014: And so it begins…

Looks like things are about to get real busy, real fast.  A flurry of emails today, a few phone conversations, some decisions made and many more to come.  We’ll be flying out next week for a few days to crunch some numbers, clarify positions, and, of course, have dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants.  And after that? Well, I’d like to say “smooooooth sailing”, but let’s be realistic.  It’s going to be a challenging few months of spinning, breaking and writing – and then an even more challenging six months (or so) of production, but I am ready to roll.  Fully charged cell phone?  Check?  13 episode first season outline?  Check?  Lucky coin and chain mail undergarments?  Check!

No, I didn’t finish that pilot script I said I was going to finish today.   But thanks for asking.  Every time I would sit down and start reviewing, someone would call or I’d receive an urgent email or happen across a hilarious video online:

But I mean it.  I’m going to finish up this blog entry and get right back to work.  And, when I do, I’ll have a magical solution to all those clunky beats I’ve been agonizing over for the last week and a half.

Wish me luck!

P.S. Rumor has it that our British friends eat french fry sandwiches.  It’s one of those things that sound too bizarre not to be true.  Can anyone confirm/deny?    And perhaps explain why?

Thanks in advance.

June 19, 2014: A busy day, but there’s always time for dogs!

A crazy day, chock full o’ tests of physical endurance, phone calls, emails, errands, reading, critiquing but, alas, no actual writing.  Damn.  I’ve been sitting on this pilot for over a week now.  Time to get it done!  Tomorrow, come hell or high water, I finally complete that elusive first draft.  Best decant the Knob Creek tonight.

Another reminder that we’ve kicked off our Stark Trek (the original series) re-watch!

Next Wednesday, we’ll be reconvening to discuss the show’s first five episodes: The Man Trap, Charlie X, Where No Man Has Gone Before, The Naked Time, and The Enemy Within.

Yes, technically, The Cage and the original version of Where No Man Has Gone Before fall earlier in the chronology, but we’ll save those particular episodes for a later viewing.

So tell your friends!  I’ll be sitting down to a back to back to back to back to back screening sometime this weekend.

Hey, while, you’re here, enjoy some pics of the gang…

Akemi and her boyfriend, Bubba, on Granville Island.

Jelly in summer mode.

Jelly (photo compliments of ace photog force).

Bubba (via gforce)

Snoozing Lulu

Tagged: french bulldog, pugs, Star Trek

June 18, 2014: Join our Star Trek TOS re-watch!

Ah, those were the days!

Full disclosure: I haven’t watched a full episode of Star Trek TOS since I was a kid. And, sure, we’ve come a long way since then and a lot of this old series will, no doubt, feel charmingly outdated by today’s standards but, damn, if I don’t feel a shiver of excitement every time I catch a scene of the original crew in their vibrant uniforms or a shot of the Enterprise in orbit or that stirring theme and jazzy dramatic underscore.  I am SO looking forward to this!

Yes, let’s make it official.  We are gonna have us an old-fashioned Star Trek: The Original Series re-watch!

Yes, we’ll be re-screening all 79 episodes of Gene Roddenberry’s SF classic from “The Man Trap” through to “Turnabout Intruder” in glorious technicolor.

Now I realize that everybody’s schedules are different and the prospect of watching an single a day may prove tricky for some, so I’m going to suggest the following viewing plan: we’ll watch the show in weekly 5-episode instalments.  So, over the course of those seven days, you can watch those five episodes at your convenience.  You can watch one a day or all five in one sitting.  Whatever works best for you.  And then, next Wednesday (June 25th), we’ll reconvene, here on this blog, and discuss.

The five episodes we’ll be watching this week will be:

1. The Man Trap (Stardate: 1513.1, Original Air Date: September 8, 1966)

Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy meets a former girlfriend when the Enterprise brings supplies to a remote archaeological survey group.  Still attractive to McCoy, the woman’s current appearance holds a dark and deadly secret.

2. Charlie X (Stardate: 1533.6, Original Air Date: September 15, 1966)

Raised as a child by non corporeal beings, 17 year old Charlie Evans is picked up and transferred to the Enterprise.  On board the ship, the teenager proves dangerously unable to wield his enormous psionic powers with maturity.

3. Where No Man Has Gone Before (Stardate: 1312.4, Original Air Date: September 22, 1966)

When the Enterprise encounters a force field at the edge of the galaxy, one of the crew member’s psionic abilities are accelerated to godlike proportions, causing him to become a powerful, murderous being.

4. The Naked Time (Stardate: 1704.2, Original Air Date: September 29, 1966)

An alien virus strips the Enterprise crew of their inhibitions, causing chaos as each crew member is overcome by hidden emotions.  Meanwhile, the Enterprise is being pulled inexorably into a nearby planet’s gravity well.

5. The Enemy Within (Stardate: 1672.1, Original Air Date: October 6, 1966)

Split by a transporter malfunction into two beings with very different personalities, the resulting twin Captain Kirk proves that neither a purely evil or purely good Captain can survive without the missing half.

So, what do you say?  Are you in?  Know any fans of the original series who would like to watch along?  Let ‘em know!  Spread the word!  And we’ll see you next Wednesday!!!

No.  Wait.  I’ve still go a blog to update.

See you tomorrow.

Tagged: Star Trek, Star Trek TOS, Star Trek: The Original Series

June 17, 2014: Back on the mean streets of Sesame!

Well look who it is.  If it isn’t our old friend Cookie Monster who, only last summer, announced he was through hosting our weekly Supermovie of the Week Club and done penning reviews of such big screen classics as The Dark Knight, Spiderman, and Abar: The First Black Superman.  Well, what a difference a year (most of it spent at the Muppetville Correctional Institute) makes.  Apparently, the terms of his early prison release requires him to hold down a job for the length of his probationary period and, well, it was either resuming his duties as this blog’s resident film critic or becoming an analyst for ESPN’s coverage of the extreme ironing championships.

Yes, it’s a thing.

He chose the former, but not before phoning me (collect!) and begging for his old job back.   As you know, I’m all about second chances – like a second chance at making someone sit through excruciatingly lengthy and lumbering films about guys in tights punching each other’s lights out (Hello, Man of Steel!).  And so, I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome Cookie Monster back.

Over the next few months, we can all look forward to reviews of Man of Steel, The Wolverine, Kick-Ass 2, Super Buddies, Thor: The Dark World, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Amazing Spiderman 2, and X-Men: Days of Future Past.  Also on his critical horizon: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Don’t you just hate reboots?), Guardians of the Galaxy, and Lucy!

Feel free to check out Cookie Monster’s past movie reviews – all collected on a single site – here:

http://cookiemonstermovereviews.wordpress.com

I’m also thinking of enlisting Cookie to head up a Star Trek TOS re-watch.  Anyone interested?

* Cookie Monster in jail pic via arcaderevolution.org

*Cookie Monster mugshot via worth1000.com

June 16, 2014: July under-the-radar movie releases to look forward to! Or not!

LIFE ITSELF

Release Date: July 4, 2014

What it’s about: A documentary on the life of film critic Roger Ebert.

What it’s got working for it: As someone who grew up watching Siskel & Ebert, I’m interested.

What’s it’s got going against it: Those unfamiliar with his work may not be quite as intrigued.

*

ROAD TO PALOMA

Release Date: July 11, 2014

What it’s about: A Native-American faces a journey of redemption after seeking revenge for his mother’s death.

What it’s got working for it: Jason Momoa’s directorial debut.

What’s it’s got going against it: Hopefully the murky trailer isn’t indicative of the film’s quality.

*

WISH I WAS HERE

Release Date: July 18, 2014

What it’s about: A 35 year old man examines his life, career, and family.

What it’s got working for it: The positive vibes of the kickstarter campaign that funded it.

What’s it’s got going against it: It looks maudlin and cliche.  Must every “feel good” movie include a shot of people driving in a convertible, smiling, arms outstretched to the wind?

*

A MOST WANTED MAN

Release Date: July 25, 2014

What it’s about: A Chechen ex-prisoner arrives in Hamburg’s Islamic community, seeking to reclaim his father’s ill-gotten fortune.

What it’s got working for it: Philip Seymour Hoffman’s last film, based on a novel by John le Carré.

What’s it’s got going against it:  Some early reviews criticize its style over substance.

*

GOOD PEOPLE

Release Date: July 25, 2014

What it’s about: A young couple’s decision to help themselves to a dead neighbor’s cash results in dark consequences.

What it’s got working for it: Omar Sy makes an unnervingly convincing bad guy.

What’s it’s got going against it: Unlike everyone else in Hollywood, I don’t buy James Franco.

*

MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

What it’s about: An Englishman attempts to unmask a con artist in 1920′s southern France.

What it’s got working for it: The trailer looks promising.  Woody Allen has made some great movies (Annie Hall, Bananas, Sleeper).

What’s it’s got going against it: And some not so great ones (Celebrity, Shadows and Fog, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion).

 

 

Tagged: A Most Wanted Man, Good People, Life Itself, Magic in the Moonlight, Road to Paloma, Wish I Was Here

June 15, 2014: July movie releases to look forward to! Or not!

TAMMY

Release Date: July 2, 2014

What it’s about: A lifetime loser embarks on a road trip to Niagara Falls with her grandmother.

What it’s got working for it: Two great actresses in Melissa McCarthy and Susan Sarandon.

What’s it’s got going against it: But you’ve got to give them material to work with. Very hard to tell that’s the case from this trailer.

***

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES

Release Date: July 11, 2014C

What it’s about: Caesar and his apes battle Earth’s virus-ravaged survivors.

What it’s got working for it: Terrific-looking visual effects and make-up.

What’s it’s got going against it: Big shoes to fill.  And, no, I’m not talking about that Tim Burton catastrophe.

***

THE PURGE: ANARCY

Release Date: July 18, 2014

What it’s about: In a near future America, citizens are permitted to purge their violent and criminal tendencies for one twelve-hour period each year.

What it’s got working for it: A potentially interesting twist on the premise focuses on a group caught “outside” during the purge.

What’s it’s got going against it: The first movie was a huge disappointment.

***

SEX TAPE

Release Date: July 18, 2014

What it’s about: A couple accidentally make their sex tape public.

What it’s got working for it: “You did the full Lincoln” is a promising line.

What’s it’s got going against it: The rest of the trailer doesn’t look all that inspired.

***

HERCULES

Release Date: July 25, 2014

What it’s about: The legendary warrior must save Thrace from an evil warlord.

What it’s got working for it: Dazzling visual effects.

What’s it’s got going against it: Hercules?  Who cares?

***

LUCY

Release Date: July 25, 2014

What it’s about: A drug mule turns the tables on her employers when the drug she is smuggling leaks into her system and transform her into a superhuman by allowing her to use – gasp! – more than 10% of her brain capacity (Dear Mr. Besson, please read: http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/10percent.asp)

What it’s got working for it: Presumably it’s not going to take itself that seriousl

What’s it’s got going against it: It looks f**king stupid as sh*t.

 

Tagged: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Hercules, Lucy, Sex Tape, Tammy, The Purge: Anarcy

June 14, 2014: Father’s Day!

When I think of my father, I remember a man who was kind and generous, but stubborn and suspicious by nature.  Someone funny and fun-loving, but a little quick-tempered.  A loving husband and father, but a man who, occasionally, took things a tad too personally.  In short, my father was a complicated and colorful man – and, really, what else would you expect from someone who grew up in the Montreal of the 30′s and 40′s, riding the streetcars and getting into all sorts of trouble with likes of Blackie, Skeeviks, and a bunch of other guys with nicknames right of the The Little Rascals.

My father would reflect back fondly on those days, and many of the stories he’d tell us would echo that colorful and complicated personality.  Like the time he and his sister Antoinette received a bunch of his favorite chocolates: Cherry Blossoms (you know, those chocolates with the liquid maraschino centers).  Of course, being his favorites, he finished his off in no time.  My aunt, on the other hand, saved hers, lining them up all nice and neat on the kitchen counter.  Eventually, when she finally got around to eating them, she was in for a surprise.  They were empty.  Not the boxes, but the chocolates themselves.  Someone had gone through the trouble of carefully cutting open the bottom of each individual chocolate, eating the liquid enter, and then putting them back.  The story had a happy ending for my auntie Antoinette though.  My father eventually bought her a bunch of Cherry blossoms to replace the ones he had eaten.  Mischievous but thoughtful.  That was my dad.

Later, when the second world war began, he felt honor-bound to enlist in the navy –  but not responsible enough to tell them the truth about his age: he was 16 at the time.

He was, by all accounts, a bit of a ladies’ man  (my grandmother would chase the girls off their property with a wooden spoon) and yet, when the right woman came along, he was perfectly happy to commit to married life and, later, fatherhood.

Every day, when my sister and I were growing up, he would come home from work at approximately 5:15 p.m. every day and prepare dinners like roasted stuffed chicken, Duck a L’Orange, and Lobster Termidor – but was at his happiest chowing down on simpler fare: pork hocks, Chinese buffet, and, of course, KFC hot wings. And he loved his Cheese Puffs.  I remember dropping by the house unexpectedly one day, walking by the kitchen, and catching him red-handed – actually, orange-handed AND orange-mouted – dipping into his hidden stash.

Yes, my father loved food – even later in life when he was loving it maybe just a little too much.  His doctor advised him to follow a strict diet.  No more bread.  No more pasta or fried foods.  It would be steamed vegetables and lean cuts of meat from hereon in.  That lasted about two days.  My mother tried – steaming those vegetables and cooking those lean meats – but my father would have none of it. He’d complain.  He’d skip dinner.  And, eventually, my mother gave in and cooked him the things he would actually eat.  Of course, when they’d go back to see the doctor, there was no hiding the fact that he hadn’t been following his diet.  The doctor was understandably annoyed and called him on what he’d been eating: the breads, the pasta, the fried foods.  To which my father replied: “That’s just the way my wife cooks.”

He slowed down considerably in the last few years of his life and he wasn’t able to get around like he used to, but being homebound wasn’t a problem because, as much as my father loved people, he loved relaxing at home even more.  I’d call every night from Vancouver and, he’d be in the living room singing along to country tunes I’d never heard of, or “Watching Kramer” as he’d call Seinfeld, or in the kitchen watching my mother fix dinner, or spending time with his best buddy, Max, his cat.  Still, he remained kind, generous, fun and loving – but stubborn, suspicious, touchy, and quick-tempered.  Age certainly didn’t temper that wildly varied personality.

So, in celebrating my father’s memory this Father’s Day, I remember him -

Not just as someone modern enough to enjoy good sushi, but a man who used antiquated expressions like “pop, “Play the Iggy” and “Wouldn’t that jar your preserves.”

Not just as a terrific dancer, an  accomplished cook, and a great guitar player, but a a man who, one summer while my mother was in Italy, had to do the laundry for the first time and ended up working up a sweat ironing towels.

Not just as a man who was generous enough to sponsor his wife’s sisters so that they could come to Canada, but as someone who, as a kid, ate a spoonful of chicken fat he’d mistaken for pudding and then tried to convince his sister Jeanettte that it wasn’t pudding, it was delicious, and she should try some too.

I remember him as a complicated and colorful man.

June 13, 2014: Joe and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!

Ceeripes, I feel like crap!  I woke up this morning feeling significantly under the weather: stomach ache, nausea, headache, fatigue, muscles aches, and appetite free.  I suspect food poisoning from last night’s chicken dinner.  I blame Top Chef Geoffrey Zakarian and his roast-chicken-at-375-degree-for-one-hour-and-serve-at-room-temperature recipe.  Akemi claims there’s only one way to know for sure: “Eat leftover chicken and see what happens.”

I spent much of the early afternoon lying in bed with the dogs.  More than once, Jelly’s dorito-scented paws had me scrambling for the bathroom.

Yo! Wassup, corn-chip feet?

Compounding my irritability today was a World Cup announcer’s use of the term “greasy” in lieu of “slippery”.  A ball cannot be greasy unless it is covered in grease.  Same goes for treacherous road conditions.  The word you’re looking for is “slippery”.

In honor of the World Cup, I present the following video – soccer at its finest:

Today’s blog entry is dedicated to birthday gal Bethany!  Hope you’re having a much better day than I am!

June 12, 2014: Bees and Burgers!

Resident beeologist Akem Aota

Last night, we got together with our foodie friends, Nicole and Lan, for an evening of Bees and Burgers.  Campagnolo supplied the burgers while Nicole and Lan supplied the bees…

Apparently, they picked them up in Portland (or had them shipped from Portland. I’m not sure how it works).  They keep them in the above-pictured box in their backyard (as opposed to their bedroom which would have showed TRUE devotion).

The bees gain access through a small hole.  I stepped up to snap a close-up but was warned the bees were irritable and didn’t like people getting too close.  Like Kanye.  So I had to snap this one from a couple of feet away.  Akemi, on the other hand, was taking no chances.  Despite being outfitted in full beekeeping regalia, she steered well clear of any possible encounter.

A window in at the back of the box allows you to peep on the bees while they’re changing.  And making honey.

I, for one, was looking forward to sampling the sweet stuff – but was informed I would have to wait until next year.  Next year?!  I thought bees were supposed  to be industrious!

Anyway, in addition to checking out the bees, we also got to visit Nicole and Lan’s house which is a mere five minute walk from our house!  Coincidentally (?), they will be moving at the end of the month, deterring any future we-were-strolling-by-and-thought-we’d=drop-in visits.

Having worked up an appetite checking out the bees, we headed over to Campagnolo on Main Street for their famed burger.  They are served upstairs in the casual bar area (sssshhhhh.  It’s a secret!).

The best burgers in town!

Chicken-fried beef ribs

Spot prawn

Chocolate-peanut butter parfait

Peter, the bartender, was our affable host and was kind enough to introduce me to a 12 year old Pappy Van Winkle – the smoothest bourbon I’ve ever had.  I’d love to get my hands on a bottle but they always sell out the second they’re shelved. Anybody have friends/family in Kentucky who happen to be close personal friends of the Van Winkles?

My attempt to approximate Akemi’s official beekeeper stance.

Yes?  No?  Buzz off?

Tagged: bees, Burgers, Campagnolo, Vancouver's best burger