Joseph Mallozzi's Blog, page 419
June 1, 2014
June 1, 2014: My Top 10 Favorite Game of Thrones Characters!
10. Brienne of Tarth
I love the fact that she’s an atypical heroine and I find her sense of honor and principled loyalty so gosh darn endearing.
9. Asha Greyjoy
Equally atypical is the ass-kicking Asha. Love her swagger and no-bullshit attitude.
8. Jonah Mormont
Such a rich, textured and, ultimately, tragic character.
7. Cersei Lannister
Sure, I love to hate her but, at the same time, I understand and even sympathize with her desire to do what’s best for her family. After all, it always comes down family.
6. Jaime Lannister
You’d think it would be hard to sympathize with a character who, in his very introduction, tries to kill a child who stumbles across his incestuous secret rendezvous with his sister – and yet, he’s a charmer.
5. Peter Baelish (Littlefinger)
The enemy of your enemy is your friend. Usually. But I wouldn’t count on it if said frenemy is Littlefinger. The ultimate opportunist. It’s a joy to watch him “play the angles”.
4. Oberon Nymeros Martell (The Red Viper)
A latecomer to the action (And, yes, I’ve read the books) who has become a fast favorite for his contrasting roguishness and noble spirit.
3. Varys (The Spider)
I can’t help but admire the Lord of Whispers and his ability to maneuver and maintain his position within the court. Knowledge IS power.
2. Bronn
A mercenary through and through and yet he is capable of genuine affection, loyalty, and friendship. But of course not at the risk of his own life.
1. Tyrion Lannister
I loved the character in the books and love him even more on the television series. Cynical, rude, and debauched and yet, at the same time, humorous, considerate and vulnerable.
Honorable mentions: Arya Stark, Khal Drogo, Sandor Clegane (The Hound), Margaery Tyrell.
Tagged: Game of Thrones
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014: Akemi packs it away! Ollie! Judd!
“I ate like a garbage box.” – Akemi, the other day, after a particularly filling meal. She has a way with words, no?
These are some of the inspired dishes she’s been packing away…
Summer salad with olive oil, ginger balsamic, and chive blossoms
Pea soup
Onion pie
Eight-hour octopus slow simmered in herbs and olive oil
Last night, we elected to take a break from the kitchen and headed over to our favorite Japanese restaurant: Yuji’s (2083 Alma St. Vancouver). Some of the highlights of our meal…
Akemi’s favorite = the salad rolls.
The maguro-avocado crepe.
And the sushi.
We were driving back home when we spotted a dog walking around by his lonesome. I slowed down and we watched him sniff around, trot across the street, sniff around some more. There was no owner in sight. So, I pulled over and we approached the handsome fellow who turned out to be incredibly friendly. I checked his collar and, fortunately, he had a tag, a name (Ollie!), and a phone number. I called but got an answering machine, so I left a message and was just loading him into the backseat of my car (Ollie seemed really eager to go for a ride) when my cell phone rang. It was the owner. She was in Vietnam! She thanked me for corralling her dog and gave me her address so I could drop him off. Her husband was home. Or so she assumed because when we went over, no one answered the door. We ended up bringing Ollie back home - our dogs weren’t quite as warmly receptive as we were – and ended up walking him back to his place once the owner’s son got in touch. Such a great a walker. He puts my gang to shame.
Ollie needs sunglasses
Speaking of houseguests, tomorrow we say goodbye to Judd after ten happy days. Akemi will miss him. And he’ll miss our backyard…
The gang
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014: Stargate Returns!
Wait. What trilogy? Oh, THIS trilogy: http://www.gateworld.net/news/2014/05/stargates-return-mgm-announces-new-movie-trilogy/
Yep, I’d heard rumblings – and they’ve finally been confirmed. 20 years after the original movie, Devlin and Emmerich will be rebooting Stargate for the big screen.
I continue to be amazed by the franchise’s staying power and continuing evolution, from a Devlin-Emmerich feature film that grossed 200 million to a television juggernaut that, under the stewardship of Brad Wright and Robert Cooper, helped establish SyFy, built MGM’s television division, and generated close to a billion dollars in revenue for the studio, and now back to the big screen.
Last year, I wrote an entry about the future of Stargate, https://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/september-12-2013-whither-stargate/, outlining my take on the various possible scenarios.
My conclusion? At the end of the day, it all comes down to one thing: Pleasing the fans – new fans AND established fans alike. [P.S. Wouldn't a brief cameo by Samantha Carter or Rodney McKay or Dr. Nicholas Rush be truly awesome?].
Everything (not that old) is new again! I look forward to seeing the gate in action once more. Very exciting!
I notice fandom response has been mixed. What do you all think?
Well, thanks to everyone who took the time to take yesterday’s lateral thinking quiz. You all did very well. In fact, much better than I did. Check out all the answers, and more brainteasing questions, here: http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/lateral.htm
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014: Lateral thinking!
Last blog entry, in compiling my list of crazy-but-true job interview questions, I failed to include one that should have made the list. Fortunately, my former Executive Producer Assistant, Trevor, was kind enough to remind me:
“Are you comfortable occasionally draining my pet baboon’s anal glands?” – Joe Mallozzi
To be honest, it wasn’t a question posited to test his lateral thinking. I just honestly wanted to know. Happily, Trevor was okay with it and, based on his response, got the job. I, on the other hand, sadly, never got my baboon who was lost in transit from Chad (both the place and the guy who took my order). I can’t help but think that, somewhere out there, some other family is enjoying Cedrick Pinkbottom III’s company.
Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer yesterday’s job interview questions. There are no right answers, just bad ones that don’t get you hired.
The following ten questions, on the other hand, DO have right answers. But you won’t get them until tomorrow’s blog entry (so pray I survive the night or you’ll never know).
Remember to think outside the box!
1. What can you put in a wooden box that would make it lighter? The more of them you put in the lighter it becomes, yet the box stays empty.
2. Which side of a cat contains the most hair?
3. Why can’t a man living in Canterbury be buried west of the River Stour?
4. Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
5. If you drove a coach leaving Canterbury with 35 passengers, dropped off 6 and picked up 2 at Faversham, picked up 9 more at Sittingbourne, dropped off 3 at Chatham, and then drove on to arrive in London 40 minutes later, what colour are the driver’s eyes?
6. A window cleaner is cleaning the windows on the 25th floor of a skyscraper, when he slips and falls. He is not wearing a safety harness and nothing slows his fall, yet he suffered no injuries. Explain.
7. John’s mother has 3 children, one is named April, one is named May. What is the third one named?
8. A man and his son were in a car crash. The father was killed and the son was taken to hospital with serious injuries. The examining doctor exclaims: “But, this is my son!”.
How can this be?
9. You have to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires
The second is full of tigers that haven’t eaten in 3 years.
The third is full of assassins with loaded machine guns.
Which room should you choose?
10. Three of the glasses below are filled with orange juice and the other three are empty. By moving just one glass, can you arrange the glasses so that the full and empty glasses alternate?
Answers tomorrow!
[Source: The University of Kent].
Tagged: lateral thinking
May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014: Outrageous job interview questions!
I think pecans is the ugliest nut I have ever seen in my life - Akemi.
I was, of course, shocked to hear it. It wasn’t so much the bizarreness of the non-sequiter but the fact that pecan actually vaulted over walnut to take the top prize. Akemi clarified. Walnuts look like brains whereas pecans look like cockroaches. And then, off my dubious expression: “What if I put pecans on the floor in the basement and you saw them. What would you think?”
Honestly? “I’d think why is Akemi putting pecans on the floor in the basement.”
Speaking of, uh, lateral thinking – I was doing a little research for a scene in a pilot-in-progress and came across some online articles on job interviews, specifically the types of questions job applicants get asked. You’d be surprised. I remember sitting in on one meeting in which my old friend Andy Mikita was being interviewed for a directing gig. After all the logical questions pertaining to work experience and creative vision had been asked, someone asked him: “What is your biggest weakness?” The room fell into an awkward moment of silence, which I finally broke by answering for him: “The fact that he cares too much.”
As far as crazy interview questions go, it was actually fairly mundane compared to the following:
“How would you cure world hunger?” – Amazon.com
“If you were a pizza delivery man, how would you benefit from scissors?” – Apple
“What is your strategy at table tennis?” – Citigroup
““If Germans were the tallest people in the world, how would you prove it?” – Hewlett-Packard
“If you were a box of cereal, what would you be and why?” Bed Bath & Beyond
“How many cows are in Canada?” – Google
“If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?” – Goldman-Sachs
“Do you believe in Bigfoot?” — Norwegian Cruise Line
“Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 how weird you are.” – Capitol One
“What do you think of garden gnomes?” – Trader Joe’s
“What songs best describes your work ethic?” – Dell
“What do you think about when you are alone in your car?” – Gallup
“You’re a new addition to the crayon box, what color would you be and why?” – Urban Outfitters
“Say you are dead- what do you think your eulogy would say about you.” – Nationwide
source: http://www.glassdoor.com/blog/
How would you respond to any of the above? Remember, there’s a lucrative job riding on your answers!
May 27, 2014
May 26, 2014
May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014: Upcoming June under-the-radar movie releases to look forward to! Or not!
BORGMAN
Release Date: June 6, 2014
What it’s about: A mysterious vagrant, a modern day Rasputin, insinuates himself into the lives of an upper-class family
What it’s got working for it: Now that is one creepy and intriguing trailer.
What’s it’s got going against it: Has the potential to be really good – or weird and inaccessible.
THE HUMAN RACE
Release Date: June 13, 2014
What it’s about: Eighty individuals are forced to participate in a life or death race.
What it’s got working for it: Looks unique.
What’s it’s got going against it: Also poorly shot, written, and acted. Oh, and cheesy.
I AM I
Release Date: June 13, 2014
What it’s about: A woman reunites with her estranged father who, suffering from the early onset of Alzheimers, mistakes her for his wife/her mother.
What it’s got working for it: The premise is unique.
What’s it’s got going against it: Borderline creepy. The trailer doesn’t really make it clear what we can expect. Is it a drama? A dark comedy? A - shudder – dramedy. In the end, it looks like it’s going to be not quite one or the other.
IVORY TOWER
Release Date: June 13, 2014
What it’s about: A documentary about the spiralling costs of higher education in America.
What it’s got working for it: An important movie for parents and students alike.
What’s it’s got going against it: Potentially outrageous and frustrating.
THE SIGNAL
Release Date: June 13, 2014
What it’s about: A group of college students on a road trip encounter a bizarre facility.
What it’s got working for it: And interesting trailer…
What’s it’s got going against it: …that doesn’t really tell you what this movie’s about. Roll the dice and report back.
THE INTERET’S OWN BOY: THE STORY OF AARON SWARTZ
Release Date: June 27, 2014
What it’s about: A documentary on the life, and death, of internet and social activist Aaron Swartz.
What it’s got working for it: A movie that should transcend its biographical premise, touching on issues that effect us all.
What’s it’s got going against it: It’s a film that should speak to everyone regardless of age, social standing, or political affiliation. But does it?
JACKPOT
Release Date: June 27, 2014
What it’s about: A shootout in a small Norwegian town stirs up plenty of questions – and some surprising answers.
What it’s got working for it: Norway’s Pulp Fiction?
What’s it’s got going against it: Or Norway’s Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead?
SNOW PIERCER
Release Date: June 27, 2014
What it’s about: Revolution grips the Snow Piercer, a constantly moving train containing the sole human survivors of a future ice age.
What it’s got working for it: Was a huge hit in South Korea.
What’s it’s got going against it: Upper-class bad guys; lower class heroes. Ho hum.
WHITEY: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA V. JAMES J. BULGER
Release Date: June 27, 2014
What it’s about: A documentary about the trail of gangster Whitey Bulger.
What it’s got working for it: Whitey’s relationship with law enforcement opens the door to all sorts of interesting questions.
What’s it’s got going against it: But will the movie actually offer some interesting answers?
Tagged: Borgman, I Am I, Ivory Tower, Jackpot, Snow Piercer, The Human Race, The Internet's Own Boy: The Story of Aaron Swartz, The Signal, Whitey: The United States of America v. James J. Bulger
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014: Upcoming June movie releases to look forward to! Or not!
Hmmm. Slim pickings this month.
EDGE OF TOMORROW
Release Date: June 6, 2014
What it’s about: In the distant future, a soldier is caught in a time loop.
What it’s got working for it: SF stories involving time loops are a lot of fun, IF they’re done well.
What’s it’s got going against it: They’re rarely done well.
22 JUMP STREET
Release Date: June 13, 2014
What it’s about: The sequel to 21 Jump Street sees our heroes go undercover at a local college.
What it’s got working for it: The first movie wasn’t bad.
What’s it’s got going against it: The original screenwriter returns – with two more writers. Three times as good or too many cooks?
Tagged: 22 Jump Street, Edge of Tomorrow
May 23, 2014
May 23, 2014: There is nothing worse than a missed opportunity!
Nope. Nothing worse than a missed opportunity.
Why do I mention it?
Oh, no reason. No reason at all.
Hey, I should have mentioned in yesterday’s blog entry – while we were on the topic of “waiting” – that I have yet to acquire copy of Paul McAuley’s Evening’s Empires for our forthcoming Book of the Month Club discussion. I was told there had been a hold-up with the publisher – but someone pointed out that the book was published back in 2013 – and yet it was listed as a new release in May. Hmmmm. Qu’est-ce qu’il ce passe? Well, if worse comes to worse, you’ll have to go on without me. Just don’t forget to lock up on your way out.
The lodger
Enjoying the sun – and drying his ears (that are almost always in his water dish).
shawna writes: “Speaking of timelines, I was wondering what you’d consider a reasonable time frame for getting a film treatment done, including the incorporation of notes from the producer. “Done” meaning it’s ready to move to scripting.”
Answer: Certainly not eight years. I’d consider that unreasonable. Also, endless rewrites are a no-no. A writer is usually hired to write two drafts and a polish. If the producer still feels the script needs some work, they can: 1. Hire you to do more. 2. Hire another writer to do more. 3. Do it themselves. In the case of #2 and #3, it can open up a can of worms re: credit issues. Remind me to tell you about our arbitration story some day.
Sparrow_hawk writes: “Get out of the house and get some exercise, Joe.”
Answer: I did! I was out back for two hours this afternoon, reading four different books. That’s quite a workout!
Peggy writes: ““You have the best job in the whole world…you get to play with doggies all day!” Riiiight, we play with the doggies…right after we brush out the matted coat you swear was not like that yesterday, wash, dry, clip and finish, clean up their poop, pee and vomit because you had to feed them before the car ride here, and try not to accidentally nick them while they spin around on our table.”
Answer: Let it be noted that I ALWAYS tip my dog groomer.
Jenny Horn writes: “So I have this idea. It’s like a fundme meets shark tank thing. Joe, you pitch a show idea to the sci-fi (or other, as appropriate) fan base community and present a budget for launching the show. The fans decide whether or not they want to see this show realized, and either fund the show or not. If the critical monetary mass is reached, production ensues. If not, then everyone can walk away. I haven’t thought through any more than what I just typed…surely there are myriad considerations and obstacles. I don’t even know if this is an original idea or not. But, I wanted to throw it out there into the universe. I’d rather have a say in what gets green lit. After all, I am the end consumer.”
Answer: You know what? I like this idea. I like it a lot. Don’t know if you could ever raise enough to produce an actual series, but a movie? Possibly.
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