O.M. Grey's Blog, page 45

Steampunk Short Story: Songs of Water

Okay. So I'm like 13 days late in getting started on the Short Story Month 2011 thing.

Tough.

From now until the end of May, I'll feature a new Steampunk Short Story by an emerging author every Friday.

Today I bring you "Songs of Water" by Anabel Portillo. Beautifully written.

Grains of sand slide between my toes with the softness of time, like abrasive tongues. I walk the shore slowly, lulled by the crash and swish of tireless waves.

The ocean always calls, and I come to it.

Darkness envelops me as I approach the rising tide. The wind snags at my dress, thin cloth on cold skin. It pulls my hair, makes it dance wild around me. I taste the ocean on my lips, salt and bitter, a patient lover of skin.

A few daring stars give shape to the world, infinite sky above inky ocean, me on the soft grey sand as I meet the waves.

They lick my feet, once and again, their cold a shock of pleasure. They become bolder, rising up to soak my dress.

On the rocks, sharp edges to my bare feet, I climb against the irresistible taunts of the wet breeze.

My hair hangs heavy now, the dress clinging to me.

I sit down on a rock, facing the open ocean, black as black, and I wait.

Every day, every night, I wait.

Read the rest of "Songs of Water" at Doctor Fantastique's Show of Wonders.

Find more of Anabel's work on her LiveJournal page, & connect with her on Twitter.

-_Q

What are your thoughts on "Songs of Water"? Let's chat.

Plus, don't forget, I have several short stories available to read (or listen to) for free as well.

Filed under: Lost in the Aether Tagged: anabel portillo, doctor fantastique, o.m. grey, olivia grey, postaweek2011, short story, steampunk

Hungry Like the Wolf

It was 1984 when I first heard the song "Hungry Like the Wolf." That was it. After that, I was sold. I was a full-blown Duranee. I put Duran Duran Dominates on my clarinet case, and the kids at Huntsville High School did not know what to make of me. Because in 1984 Huntsville, TX, no one knew who Duran Duran was. They had hardly even heard of MTV.

That's all beside the point, however.

"Hungry Like the Wolf" was a highly suggestive video, and although my 14 year old self didn't really get all of it, I certainly learned a thing or two in the coming years. 

I lost my virginity rather young. 15. I still remember the date: January 19, 1985. What girl doesn't remember the date of her first time? Although that first time was certainly an experience, it was mostly painful. But it was fun nonetheless. For a young girl of 15, I didn't feel sexual desire yet, not in the way I do now. Sex was fun, but it wasn't hot. Yet.

It wouldn't be until years later that I experienced true sexual desire and just how much feelings of intense sexual desire can cloud one's mind and reason. There is nothing quite like the intoxication of sexual desire.

Certainly for men, the joke always is that all the blood is rushing southward, so there's nothing left in the brain. And I think it is similar for women when that intense desire consumes one's body and mind.

Reason goes right out the window.

I've now been sexually active for 26 years, and there are still times when sexual desire will overrun my reason. I have made some pretty bad decisions over the years because of love and sex, and I've been lucky more than once because I didn't use protection when I was younger.

I knew girls who got pregnant in High School, and I've known *several* people who have contracted incurable STDs. Unfortunately, I've lost dear friends to AIDs. So, if you're sexually active, it is very important to have condoms with you at all times. Don't be caught without one, because the desire to move forward anyway is really too great when two people are on the verge. And a few hours of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of disease or an unplanned pregnancy, no matter how great the sex.

Protect yourself and protect your partner.

Filed under: Romance & Relationships Tagged: duran duran, love, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, polyamory, postaweek2011, relationships, romance, sex

Steampunk Spotlight: The Red Fork Empire

After missing each other at the Wild Wild West Steampunk Convention back in March, I had the great pleasure of meeting Emperor Justinian of the Red Fork Empire at Aetherfest in San Antonio. So this week's Steampunk Spotlight shines on the fabulous Emperor and his Empire, and shouldn't it always?

Emperor Justinian is quickly recognized by his giant brass fist of justice (The Will of the People) which he uses mercilessly against his greatest enemy The Dull.

The Red Fork Empire promotes creativity and imagination in this and in other dimensions. Emperor Justinian is one of the most genuine people I've met in a long time. A brilliant and professional performer, he can produce a humorous and moving speech on the spot. I was quite impressed. He rallies those around him to fight against The Dull and open up their creative minds, all while commanding the respect and reverence that any Emperor should.

You too can fight against The Dull by becoming a citizen of the Empire today!

Connect with The Emperor on Facebook, if you are worthy.

Filed under: Steampunk Spotlight Tagged: art, convention, cosplay, creativity, dull, emperor justinian, love, o.m. grey, olivia grey, postaweek2011, steampunk, victorian

The Ghosts of St. Anthony

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of staying at one of the finest hotels in San Antonio: The St. Anthony Hotel. Built in 1909, it has the elegance of an age long past, and it was the perfect location for Aetherfest, Texas's first Steampunk convention.

When I walked into the lobby, I audibly gasped at its beauty. Deep burgundy carpets and upholstery decorated the lavish parlor. Chaise lounges, plush chairs, and glass chandeliers gave the entire room a level of sophistication one does not normally see in modern society. Once it was filled with cosplayers dressed to the nines in their Steampunk gear, it was a perfect snapshot of the past.

Most conventions have a floor dedicated to congoers, so that their party nature does not disturb the other guests. The St. Anthony gave Aetherfest the tenth floor, just adjacent to the rooftop terrace on which we spent the evenings dining, dancing, and socializing the night away.

Little did we know that the tenth floor is the most haunted floor of the most haunted hotel in all of San Antonio! We stayed in room 1044, and it was simply divine. With a four poster bed and cherry wood desks, this was no ordinary hotel. Perhaps it's the power of suggestion, but once Capt. Whittaker of the Airship Isabella told me about the haunting (particularly in room 1080), my eyes darted to and fro as I tried to fall asleep that first night, listening to every creak. My husband fell asleep first, and his breathing settled into those deep sleep breaths. Just as I would start to drift off, I'd hear a door shut somewhere, and my eyes would pop back open, looking around the room for the ghost. The creepiest thing was when my husband's breathing was echoed by another's. Each of his exhalations were immediately followed by another, faintly. Visions of a malevolent ghost mocking our breaths of life filled my demented mind. It was so unnerving, I had to get out of bed and examine the source. It turned out to be just the gentleman in the next room, sleeping soundly. The walls, by the way, are paper thin.

Most certainly, both the Peraux Room and the Travis Room, where the vendors were located, had an inexplicable chill. Seriously, just walking from the hallway into the Travis Room one felt a twenty degree drop in temperature. At least. This severe cold, which according to the hotel staff remains present even when the AC is turned off, is one of the symptoms of that haunting.

Also, the elevators seemed to have minds of their own. The middle elevator got stuck twice the first day we were there. Pablo, the con chairman, and Jonas Meriwether, lead scout of the Airship Isabella  got stuck in there for over thirty minutes! They hotel turned that elevator off after that, but the two remaining elevators acted strangely as well. They would stop on either the seventh or ninth floor without explanation. The doors would open and no one would be there. It happened to us more than once. Seems we experienced a ride with the hotel's phantom bellman!

Creepy.

Read all about the legends and lore of the St. Anthony Hotel Hauntings at This Eclectic Life.

We didn't see any ghosts in the end, but perhaps the mere suggestion of ghosts was what had me on edge. Or was it the ghostly energy of the entire place? Whatever the cause, we definitely experienced something paranormal, and it was so cool!

-_Q

Have you ever had a ghostly experience? Tell us about it.

Filed under: Events & Contests, Lost in the Aether Tagged: aetherfest, convention, ghosts, haunted, hotel, o.m. grey, olivia grey, paranormal, postaweek2011, san antonio, spooky, steampunk, texas, victorian

For Better or for Worse

Over the past 40 or so years, I've learned that I'm not a terribly good judge of character. I'm too nice, really. It's one of the reasons that I count myself so very lucky to have found (and had the prudence to marry) my husband. He's a good man. A kind, loving, gentle, and intelligent man. An honest man. A man with integrity.

He is a good judge of character. He can see through someone's bullshit in an instant, and when he sees a red flag, he distances himself.

When I see a red flag, I give them the benefit of the doubt. Or, rather, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. No more. Oh no, sir. No more.

This last betrayal has hardened me. 

Sure it's better to avoid poisonous and dangerous people all together, but there are times that we are fooled, taken in. Hindsight is the only true judge. After the dissolution of a relationship, especially an abrupt end, one might be haunted by the unending questions.

Why did it end?

What could I have done differently?

Was it my fault?

If I had only…

Ad nauseam.

Still, there is sure way to tell: are you a better person for having known them?

This exercise can work even if you are still in a relationship, especially if you are questioning it. Look at yourself before the relationship, friendship or romantic, and look at yourself now.

Does this person in your life bring you more joy or pain? Are you more honest or more deceptive? Do you find yourself compromising your morals? Your beliefs? Your very self?

For every smile, are there a thousand tears?

For every moment of joy, are there hours of pain?

For every word of truth, are there pages of lies?

Or is it the opposite? Sure, every relationship will have ups and downs, but we must take care that the joy we bring each other significantly outweighs the pain. Otherwise, we'll look back at our lives on our death bed and see nothing but pain and tears and lies. Never do I want to be in a position where I regret my entire life. What a waste.

I have a hard time letting go of people who meant a lot to me, whether or not they were good to me or good for me. I loved them just the same, but I had a epiphany. When I'd remember the smiles, the laughter, and the feelings of joy and desire, it was always the same moments over and over again. Because they were just fleeting moments of joy. The bulk of the time was crippling pain. The laughter that filled my soul with hope was drown out by the deluge of tears. And the lies, don't even get me started.

On the other hand, when I think of the last 12 years with my husband, it's the opposite. Sure there have been fights and tears and pain and even lies, near the beginning; but the daily joy and love and care greatly outweighs all of that. I know I am a better person for having known my husband, and he is a better person for having known me. We complement each other, care for each other, and support each other. For every tear there has been months of laughter and love and care. That's the ratio you want in a relationship.

Examine the people in your life. If they are poison, cut them loose.

Without mercy. Cut them loose.

Then begin repairing what they have damaged and find a good person with whom to share your life. They're out there. I've recently found a group of friends that have reminded me what it's supposed to be like. Mutual respect. Mutual admiration. Mutual inspiration. Mutual support.

Being nice is one thing, but don't allow someone to feed off your good nature, to drain you until the emptiness engulfs you. Protect yourself. You are so worth it.

-_Q

Has there been someone in your life that fooled you for a given time? Were there red flags you chose to ignore? Why do you think you ignored them?

Filed under: Romance & Relationships Tagged: broken heart, healing, heartbroken, honesty, love, marriage, olivia grey, open marriage, polyamory, postaweek2011, relationships, romance, sex

Steampunk Spotlight: Hellblinki

Shine that Steampunk Spotlight on the fabulous band Hellblinki. I had the great pleasure of seeing them perform at the Oklahoma Steampunk Expo, and they were phenomenal. They truly put on a show. In fact, a description of that show took up a large portion of my Oklahoma Steampunk Expo convention report for Doctor Fantastique.

Here is that excerpt:

The southern fried psycho-cabaret band Hellblinki entertained a packed room Friday night. They were definitely a highlight of the convention. Hellblinki consists of three band members: Valerie Meiss, Andrew Benjamin, and JonPaul Hess. JonPaul is the quietest of the bunch. The obvious backbone of the band, he remains mostly in the background keeping the rhythm with his bass guitar. Andrew Benjamin and Valerie Meiss put on quite a show. Valerie (aka Vaudevie) warbles along in a guerrilla operatic style, giving their sound an edgy and fun aspect. While singing, she also intermittently plays the accordion, saw, toy piano, ukelele, and something she calls a cacaphonium. Oh, and every so often, she hits one of Andrew's cymbals with a riding crop. Andrew, the face of the band, is made up to look like the stereotypical silent film villain (white face, red around the eyes, and a pointy black goatee). He plays the drums and sometimes guitar while he sings through a microphone that alters his voice to sound as if it's coming out of an old-fashioned radio. Truly, a joyful performance, even with songs like "Breaking Everything" and "Don't go down to the woods tonight."

Truly a sight to behold. They have several videos on their YouTube channel, as well as more filmed by fans. I've chosen this one to share with you today.

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Read all about Hellblinki and their interestingly varied history on their website. And support the band (not to mention it will also give your ears a treat) and buy some of their music. Also available on Amazon.com.

Connect with them on Facebook.

Filed under: Steampunk Spotlight Tagged: convention, hellblinki, music, o.m. grey, olivia grey, postaweek2011, steampunk, vaudeville

Oh Endless Night.

Oh endless night.

Repeating echoes of joy.

Slowly fading.

Pushing against the faltering

Walls of my sanity.

The clearest remnants of you

Are the scars on my thighs.

Also fading.

Slowly.

After all. I do not know you.

I piece you together

From evasive texts and afterthoughts,

From pictures and tweets.

Reading between the lines

Filling in the rest.

I'm in love with a fictional character,

An untouchable figment

Who just happens to look like you.

That love is fading, too.

-_Q

(I just found this poem in a notebook. Must've written it at the beginning of the year. The first line and title is a line from Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood. The way Atwood described how Snowman had to create Oryx,"piece her together from the slivers of her he'd gathered and hoarded carefully," hit very close to home at the time. This is the product.)

Filed under: Lost in the Aether Tagged: grief, heartbroken, love, non-monogamy, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, poetry, postaweek2011, relationships, shattered

You Don't Turn Me On

A few weeks ago, there was a wonderful post by Susan Anderson, author ofThe Journey from Abandonment to Healing, entitled "I Love You, but You Don't Turn Me On." It's about learning to integrate sexual feelings with attachment rather without the newness and/or forbidden-ness of a love affair.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, there are different stages of love. New love is intoxicating and often agonizing, but it's nothing if not exciting and hot and passionate. We all too often equate our sexuality with this new love or new desire.

The deeper connection and more profound love that develops in relationships after the initial "in love" phase can also be a source of sexual desire, but sometimes we must retrain our brains for this. It's very easy and natural to feel such desire for someone new or forbidden. It's chemical. It's biological. It's easy, and it can be very hard, especially if a the relationship ends before it can grow into a more comfortable zone.

When security and companionship are allowed to grow in a committed relationship, sex can fall by the wayside. After all, no one can burn that bright for too terribly long. We would burn out. Exhausted. There is life: kids, bills, work, rest, family, responsibilities, etc. And it is so very wonderful to share your life with someone you love and who loves you back. There is nothing more beautiful, truly.

But still, human nature is partially based in our sexuality.

It might take a little more work, but sex with your long-term, committed SO (significant other) can be so much more rewarding, even if it's not as hot as a new love.

Just because you're not having sex as much as you used to doesn't mean there is a problem. If you are both happy with your lives and the sexual part of your relationship, then don't judge yourselves if you only have sex once a week, once a month, or once a year. However, if either you or your SO feel that your sexual lives are lacking, then make it a priority. Take time for yourselves, away from the kids and away from responsibilities.

Create a sacred space. Light candles.
Nurture and worship each other. Take turns giving your partner a massage.
Leave expectations behind. If your encounter together doesn't result in coitus, no worries. Re-establishing a connection is far more important.
Talk. Laugh. Be silly. Share. Cry. Feel. Together.
Ensure you do little things throughout the day. Sneak little touches and kisses.
Express your love verbally and with little demonstrations. This can range from flowers to a small gift…or even cleaning the kitchen.
Most importantly. Please, SEE EACH OTHER

There is an amazing short story on this very topic written by Adrienne Crezo called "Husband-Shaped" that is in the current issue of "The Pedestal Magazine." Quite poignant. Well worth a read.

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." ~Rose Franken

"Love has no desire but to fulfill itself.  To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.  To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving."  ~Kahlil Gibran

Let's talk.
What are some ideas to help nurture a loving relationship? Reconnect sexually?
How do you show your SO every day that they are still seen, loved, and desired?
What is your favorite love quote?

Filed under: Romance & Relationships Tagged: broken heart, healing, heartbroken, infidelity, love, o.m. grey, olivia grey, open, open marriage, polyamory, postaweek2011, relationships, romance, sex

Steampunk Spotlight: Tee Morris & Phoenix Rising

Fellow Steampunks, I have such a special treat for you on today's Steampunk Spotlight. The dapper and debonair Tee Morris talks about Steampunk, promotion, and his brand new book (released today) Phoenix Rising. He is so very charming, plus he calls me lovely and delicious, which is simply scrumptious.

-_Q

Go Beyond: Promoting Steampunk Outside Comfort Zones

Gentle reader, it may not come as a surprise to you that the lovely and delicious O.M. Grey has invited me to talk about steampunk as Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel hits the stands today, across the United States. Olivia has been most gracious with her ties in the community, talking up the title on her blog, Facebook, and Twitter; and it was her own enthusiasm for it and for the genre that played a part in bringing her into the Ministry's podcast anthology Tales from the Archives. Truly, this is community and networking all fitting in place quite comfortably like cogs in the machine, as well as validation in the efforts you as an artist put forth into building a community and establishing a reputation there in.

So when people ask me what advice I have for them as an artisan — for it doesn't matter if you are a writer, a musician, or a costumer — I encourage them to build a community around their work and then, come promotion time, make sure to reach to them for support. And then, go beyond.

Go beyond? Whatever do I mean by that?

Just last week, I had the good fortune to appear on the Romantic Times Book Reviews blog. Now, in all fairness, I was surprised — pleasantly, mind you — that RT reached out to the Ministry for a blogpost. While there is a bit of sexual tension (for fun, or course!) thrown into our Victorian world of the fantastic and fascinating, I would have never thought of the RT as a possible stop on the Ministry's blog tour. I also would have never imagined such a positive reply from them on my submitted article. This opportunity, though, reinforces a strategy that Pip and I undertook when we began the promotions machine for Phoenix Rising: Reach beyond our community.

Pip and I are "names" in the podcasting community. I am the first podcaster to podcast novel length fiction (an honor I share with Scott Sigler and Mark Jeffrey, all three of us who began our endeavors around the same time, and laid the groundwork for Podiobooks.com), one of the authors of Podcasting for Dummies, and a Parsec winner for my podcast of Billibub Baddings and The Case of the Singing Sword. Pip is New Zealand's first podcast novelist, a Sir Julius Vogel winner for her podcast of Chasing the Bard, and producer of the Fantasy podcast anthology Chronicles of the Order and co-producer of Tales from the Archives. We also lend our voices to many audio productions, so the podcasting communities know us. After years of building that platform, we turned to them for support in getting the world out for Tales as well as Phoenix Rising. The podcasting community stepped up, and now those circles know of today's release.

But what about the steampunk community? We are still unknowns there. We needed to do a little bit of research, look beyond the podcasters we have known for years, and introduce ourselves. True, it can be nerve-wrecking (No one likes to be told "No, thank you. We are not interested in promoting an author's work."), but without the effort, you are left with "What if's" in people you should have or could have reached out to with an introduction.

One thing to keep in mind when reaching out to other steampunk venues: This community is incredibly polite. It wouldn't surprise me at all if these people blogged in bowlers, bonnets, and bloomers, and sipped tea while they blogged. Nice people, these steampunks; and I'm proud to be offering a light-hearted romp for their pleasure.

Pip and I then ventured out further. We put together a book trailer, a book trailer that found it way on this blog and a few book review blogs. Then, with the help of our publisher, we extended introduction to other bloggers and podcasters that we wouldn't have expected: Paranormal Romance, Fantasy, Science Fiction, and even Tech and History. Some said yes, some said no. The aim we had was not to overwhelm the blogosphere or podosphere with queries, but to spread our wings and not only promote our book but promote the steampunk movement as well. People have a variety of ideas as to what is steampunk. Pip and I look at this promotional tour as an opportunity, much like with Romantic Times, to introduce to curious people this wonderful world we reside in.

So, gentle reader, my own bit of steampunkery for you on the day of our book's release is to challenge yourself and adopt for your next project a true discipline of the Victorian age: Go beyond. In our Victorian-based/inspired fiction, we write of magnificent gentlemen in flying machines, explorers crossing and conquering new frontiers, and adventures of discovery. This is all part of the steampunk way. Therefore, go beyond. Find out if your latest creation — a short story, a film, or work of art — crosses into another interest such as romance, history, sculpture, or science. You may find yourself an ambassador of the genre, answering questions and bringing in new fans to what we do with steam, cog, and the imagination.

Go beyond, for your latest creation might very well serve as another's passport into a voyage of the fantastique.

-_Q

Tee Morris began his writing career with his 2002 historical epic fantasy, MOREVI The Chronicles of Rafe & Askana. In 2005 Tee took MOREVI into the then-unknown podosphere, making his novel the first book podcast in its entirety. That experience led to the founding of Podiobooks.com and collaborating with Evo Terra and Chuck Tomasi on Podcasting for Dummies. He won acclaim and accolades for his cross-genre fantasy-detective Billibub Baddings Mysteries, the podcast of The Case of the Singing Sword winning him the 2008 Parsec Award for Best Audio Drama. Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel, co-written with Pip Ballantine, is his first steampunk offering.

When he is not writing, Tee enjoys life in Virginia alongside Pip, his daughter, and five cats (3 female, 2 males). Considering the male-to-female ratio in his house, Tee understands how General Custer felt near his end.

-_Q

Bravo, Tee. The best part of all this is that you can go get your copy of Phoenix Rising right now! And if you haven't yet, please do have a listen to their Tales from the Archives, especially episode two: "Dust on the Davenport."

Filed under: Steampunk Spotlight Tagged: book, dust on the davenport, ministry of peculiar occurences, o.m. grey, olivia grey, pip ballantine, podcast, postaweek2011, release, romance, steampunk, tee morris, victorian

Steampunk Shakespeare

In gearing up for the Steampunk Shakespeare Anthology, I've been rereading some of Shakespeare's Sonnets.

This one particularly touched me twice in my life. First time nearly twenty years ago, and then again recently. Over 400 years, and the words hold true.

These are also relevant to Wednesday's post on Breakup > Suffering Abuse.

Sonnet 147

My love is as a fever, longing still

For that which longer nurseth the disease,

Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,

Th' uncertain sickly appetite to please.

My reason, the physician to my love,

Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,

Hath left me, and I desperate now approve

Desire is death, which physic did except.

Past cure I am, now reason is past care,

And frantic mad with evermore unrest;

My thoughts and my discourse as madmen's are,

At random from the truth, vainly expressed:

For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,

Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.

And Drayton's Sonnet 61, similar theme:

Since there's no help, come, let us kiss and part;

Nay, I have done, you get no more of me,

And I am glad, yea glad with all my heart

That thus so cleanly I myself can free.

Shake hands forever, cancel all our vows,

And when we meet at any time again,

Be it not seen in either of our brows

That we one jot of former love retain.

Now at the last gasp of Love's last breath,

When, his pulse failing, Passion speechless lies,

When Faith is kneeling by his bed of death,

And Innocence is closing up his eyes;

Now if thou wouldst, when all have given him over,

From death to life thou mightst him yet recover.

Filed under: Lost in the Aether, Romance & Relationships Tagged: broken heart, drayton, gothic, grief, healing, heartbroken, love, o.m. grey, olivia grey, poetry, postaweek2011, relationships, romance, shakespeare, shattered