Aynoit Ashor's Blog

Flashback Friday: Author-Sisters

Last Summer (2013), I had the pleasure of touring with these beautiful authors! On the far left is LaShawn Hewlett-Wilson and in the middle is Savannah Jackson. This picture was taken at the Manassas (VA) African American Heritage Festival.  We had a blast and plan to go back August 2014.  
This is the day I first met my partners! On the far right is Alicia Hill-Jones. She is not only an amazing author, she also has a publishing company. (Alicia Hill-Jones was also on tour with us the Summer of 2013, but was unable to attend the event for the first picture posted.)

There's nothing like having authors who are encourage me to reach my goals. I am happy to have found this wonderful group of supportive authors!

Kindly click on the links of my author-sisters' names and "LIKE" their Facebook Pages. 

Top Secret Project....

I'm working on a "top secret" project which will be amazing for those who are ready to love life. I am so excited about what I am planning, but I am not quite ready to spill the beans. All I can say is it will help those who have been traumatically hurt.

Stay tuned to this blog and All Things Aynoit Ashor for the announcement, which I expect to make June 9, 2014.

Wednesday, July 11, 2001

Excerpt from: The Red Journal, Part 1  ************************************************************************Wednesday, July 11, 2001
I left Lamont last Friday. I went to a shelter directly from work. He bit me the Friday before I left (June 29th, 2001). I don’t remember exactly what happened.
All I remember is having my mouth and nose covered with his hand and not being able to breathe. I wouldn’t be quiet so he bit me two times on the arm. The next day my arm was black where he bit me.
We were supposed to go with my family and do something for my niece’s birthday. My mom came in from out of town. We wound up not doing anything, and he was upset about that. My family did go to my aunt’s house, though. He told me how my family didn’t care about my kids and me because they didn’t come and get us, me and the kids. He said he didn’t have to go.
The next day my mom came to see me. I had to wear a housecoat (as hot as it was) so she couldn’t see the bites.
When my birthday came, he told me I wasn’t a good wife because I didn’t show him enough attention.
I really don’t remember everything that happened or was said. I will continue with this tomorrow. I’m tired.************************************************************************
Download your ebook now from Amazon (Kindle) or Google Play Books 
Be Social! +1, Tweet and Share and don't forget to follow this blog 

Transform, Encourage, Empower

I am working on a video explaining what I do, but for now, I would like to take a moment to put it in words.

I transform lives through my books, speaking engagements and interviews. I share my story to empower and encourage others to love life regardless of life's obstacles.

In my presentations, I use things like slime, clotheslines, paper airplanes and flying reptiles to illustrate the point I want to get across to my audience.

In my books, I uncover family secrets no one wants to discuss and help survivors begin the healing process.

In my interviews, I share my story as a way of helping others who are walking in the shoes I have once walked in and to educated those who may not understand or know why people do what they do.

All-in-all, I feel I endured the hard times, pain and struggles so I can give others the love and attention they need in their hard times and teach others to do the same.

Visit my website to hear interviews, hire me to speak to your group, order my books or just to get to know me.

My name is Aynoit Ashor. I am in the people empowerment business!
*Be social! Share, Tweet, +1, Follow*

I'm Ready to Live! (Part 4)

If you have not done so, take a moment to read "I'm Ready to Live!": Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3 before moving on to this blog post.

***************
We started by wanting to heal, moved on to getting to know ourselves, then, writing for healing and feeling. Finally, the most difficult step. The one I struggled with until I truly understood the true definition of the word.

The final step I am going to share to help you move toward living is: FORGIVENESS!

*Insert screech of needle being pushed across a record** 
Yes, I am telling you, you have to forgive. You must forgive your abuser. I know, I'm making it seem easy and actually it is quite simple.

Understand, I am recommending you forgive NOT forget. Forgetting would not be a smart thing to do. It could get you back in the same situation you just got out of. There is a difference between forgetting and forgiving.

Forgiving is a decision to let go of feelings of resentment and revenge (period). Make that decision, you'll be a happier person.

Before you give me a verbal lashing in the comments section :) remember, I HAVE BEEN THERE! I'm sure my story is similar to your story. I have been abused, raped, molested, a single mom and homeless. I do not share that as a badge of honor. I share because I want you to understand that I DO know how you feel. I know it is hard to forgive. 

Your abuser is not the only person you must forgive.... you also have to forgive yourself.  I know, I know. It's hard, but you deserve forgiveness from yourself.  I did the best with what knowledge and resources I had.  Yes, I knew things were not right and should be different but I did not know how to make any change. I did not have a foundation strong enough to keep thoughts of fear and doubt from entering my mind. Once I got the knowledge and gathered the resources I decided to change my life.  Change is not easy, but it's needed to be happy. So forgive yourself.

Forgiveness is not going to happen overnight. I believe that just wanting to forgive is a step in the right direction! It shows you want to change your life and you don't want to be (or remain) bitter.  Have you ever seen a bitter person? It actually looks like they are sucking on sour grapes!

If you take the advice I gave in the "I'm Ready to Live" series you will be well on your way toward living a happy life. If the posts are not enough and you need a little more advice. Consider purchasing my book, I Have Been There: Sisterly Advice from One Survivor of Abuse to Another. I wrote it to help, not to hurt.

I'm Ready to Heal! (Part 4)

Please read Part 1, 2, & 3 before moving on to the final post in the "I'm Ready to Heal" series.

If you have not done so, take a moment to read I'm Ready to Heal: Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3 before moving on to this blog post.

***************
We started by wanting to heal, moved on to getting to know ourselves, then, writing for healing and feeling. Finally, the most difficult step. The one I struggled with until I truly understood the true definition of the word.

The final step I am going to share to help you move toward healing is: FORGIVENESS!

*Insert screech of needle being pushed across a record** 
Yes, I am telling you, you have to forgive. You must forgive your abuser. I know, I'm making it seem easy and actually it is quite simple.

Understand, I am recommending you forgive NOT forget. Forgetting would not be a smart thing to do. It could get you back in the same situation you just got out of. There is a difference between forgetting and forgiving.

Forgiving is a decision to let go of feelings of resentment and revenge (period). Make that decision, you'll be a happier person.

Before you give me a verbal lashing in the comments section :) remember, I HAVE BEEN THERE! I'm sure my story is similar to your story. I have been abused, raped, molested, a single mom and homeless. I do not share that as a badge of honor. I share because I want you to understand that I DO know how you feel. I know it is hard to forgive. 

Your abuser is not the only person you must forgive.... you also have to forgive yourself.  I know, I know. It's hard, but you deserve forgiveness from yourself.  I did the best with what knowledge and resources I had.  Yes, I knew things were not right and should be different but I did not know how to make any change. I did not have a foundation strong enough to keep thoughts of fear and doubt from entering my mind. Once I got the knowledge and gathered the resources I decided to change my life.  Change is not easy, but it's needed to be happy. So forgive yourself.

Forgiveness is not going to happen overnight. I believe that just wanting to forgive is a step in the right direction! It shows you want to change your life and you don't want to be (or remain) bitter.  Have you ever seen a bitter person? It actually looks like they are sucking on sour grapes!

If you take the advice I gave in the "I'm Ready to Heal" series you will be well on your way toward healing. If the posts are not enough and you need a little more advice. Consider purchasing my book, I Have Been There: Sisterly Advice from One Survivor of Abuse to Another. I wrote it to help, not to hurt.

Mommy Deposit

I was Blessed over the weekend while attending a "Mini-Treat" (women's conference) here in Richmond, VA. My experience was so Powerful that I signed up for their text messages and have been on their prayer line the past two mornings.

This morning the host spoke about "deposits". She asked what kind of deposit did our moms leave in our lives that we want to give to the world. I smiled as I thought of mine.

I was such a sensitive child. My mom would always kiss every boo-boo, wipe my tears and hug me. She would wrap her arms around me and make me feel like nothing or no one could ever hurt me. Her arms soothed me and let me know all would be okay. I am her baby girl.

That's the deposit I want to place in people's lives. The "mother-child love & hug".  It's interesting that I just realized that my mother's love and hug to me as a little girl is what I want to give to the world. Yesterday, I saw a lady I used to work with. Her daughter and my teens attend the same school. We see each other fairly often at the end of the school day. Yesterday, she parked her car next to mine, got out and opened her arms for a hug. After giving her the biggest hug I could, she said, "[my daughter] said we hug each other like we just got out of jail." We laughed and she continued, "I told her, 'no, it's just that can't nobody hug me like [Aynoit] hugs me. She makes the bad go away'." That was truly a compliment.

Everyone needs motherly love and hugs to remind us that everything will be okay.

What has your mom passed on to you that you will deposit into the life of others? Share it with us in the comments section.

********************
Be social! LIKE, Share, Tweet, +1 this post.

I'm Ready to Live! (Part 3)

This is a four part blog series on how you can begin the healing process after an abusive (romantic) relationship.  Read "I'm Ready to Live!" (Part 1 & Part 2) before beginning this post.

***************
The third thing one can do is: JOURNAL!

I can hear some of you saying, "Okay, Aynoit. You have me wanting to heal and getting to know myself. Now you want me to write?!" No, I don't want you to write, I want you to JOURNAL!  Let me explain the difference:  Writing is a collection of words used to get a point across. Journaling is a collection of words used to heal.

People write all the time. Most of the time there is no true feeling behind the writing unless you are trying to convey a message. Journaling helps to convey a message to yourself.  It helps you express thoughts and feelings of the past and present. One can journal about everyday situations, the hopes and dreams of your future or your past experiences (good and bad).

My red journal was a place to dump all my feelings, hopes, hates, dreams, hurts, etc. My red journal was a place of non-judgement. It was a place I could reflect on my past and figure out my future. My red journal helped me begin the healing process! I wrote decisions I had made, good and bad. I wrote about every day obstacles. I wrote about confusion and hurt. It gave me a place to go when I felt alone. It gave me a safe place for my feelings.

Journaling reduces stress, brings clarity to the healing process and hurtful pasts, it helps with self expression, it reveals patterns/cycles, it helps one make critical decisions and much, much more! Journaling is vital to healing.

I've hosted group workshops on journaling and the number one reason people give me for not journaling is, "I don't know what to write." What can you write about in your journal?
Everyday activities and how they made you feelObstacles and how you plan to overcome themHow a past event has effected your lifeWhat your dreams are for the futureYour new hobby  Aynoit's journal is available.If you have written about all of those things and don't know what to write, elaborate on them or reread a journal entry and write how things have changed since that entry.

Journaling is so therapeutic! My red journal has movie ticket stubs, business cards and quotes taped to the inside covers. My most precious "taped" item is a small buttercup my daughter picked for me in April of 2002.

I feel empowered when I read the journal and see how far I have come. Yes, I read the hurtful things that happened, but reading those things remind me that I am now happy and I did the right thing by leaving my abuser.


Have you used journaling in your past? Tell me about your experience in the comments section.

If you would like to read the thoughts I had after I left my abusive marriage you can download The Red Journal, Part 1 to your Kindle or via Google Play Books.

Read I'm Ready to Live, Part 4.
*****************************************************
Be Social!  SHARE, Like, Tweet, +1 and FOLLOW

I'm Ready to Heal! (Part 3)

This is a four part blog series on how you can begin the healing process after an abusive (romantic) relationship.  Read "I'm Ready to Heal" (Part1 & Part 2) before beginning this post.

***************
The third thing one can do to begin the healing process is: JOURNAL!

I can hear some of you saying, "Okay, Aynoit. You have me wanting to heal and getting to know myself. Now you want me to write?!" No, I don't want you to write, I want you to JOURNAL!  Let me explain the difference:  Writing is a collection of words used to get a point across. Journaling is a collection of words used to heal.

People write all the time. Most of the time there is no true feeling behind the writing unless you are trying to convey a message. Journaling helps to convey a message to yourself.  It helps you express thoughts and feelings of the past and present. One can journal about everyday situations, the hopes and dreams of your future or your past experiences (good and bad).

My red journal was a place to dump all my feelings, hopes, hates, dreams, hurts, etc. My red journal was a place of non-judgement. It was a place I could reflect on my past and figure out my future. My red journal helped me begin the healing process! I wrote decisions I had made, good and bad. I wrote about every day obstacles. I wrote about confusion and hurt. It gave me a place to go when I felt alone. It gave me a safe place for my feelings.

Journaling reduces stress, brings clarity to the healing process and hurtful pasts, it helps with self expression, it reveals patterns/cycles, it helps one make critical decisions and much, much more! Journaling is vital to healing.

I've hosted group workshops on journaling and the number one reason people give me for not journaling is, "I don't know what to write." What can you write about in your journal?
Everyday activities and how they made you feelObstacles and how you plan to overcome themHow a past event has effected your lifeWhat your dreams are for the futureYour new hobby  Aynoit's journal is available.If you have written about all of those things and don't know what to write, elaborate on them or reread a journal entry and write how things have changed since that entry.

Journaling is so therapeutic! My red journal has movie ticket stubs, business cards and quotes taped to the inside covers. My most precious "taped" item is a small buttercup my daughter picked for me in April of 2002.

I feel empowered when I read the journal and see how far I have come. Yes, I read the hurtful things that happened, but reading those things remind me that I am now happy and I did the right thing by leaving my abuser.


Have you used journaling in your past? Tell me about your experience in the comments section.

If you would like to read the thoughts I had after I left my abusive marriage you can download The Red Journal, Part 1 to your Kindle or via Google Play Books.

*****************************************************
Be Social!  SHARE, Like, Tweet and +1 

Saturday Morning Cartoons... All grown up

JUST FOR FUN!!!!
The "Duck Tales" song all grown up!  I guess this is what it should sound like if we were to watch it (now) as adults.