Aynoit Ashor's Blog, page 5

Ex boyfriend kills California teen

When should we teach our children about dating violence? When it's too late? After they hear about a friend who has been killed? Once they are a victim? Sadly, this will be the case for some.

Earlier this week a 17 year old California teen was killed by her ex boyfriend. This breaks my heart. What if there was a way to reach this young lady ahead of time to teach her the warning signs of dating violence and tell her where should could go for help?

This is what I plan to do during my high school presentation this November. It saddens me to use this young lady's story as an example of why my workshop is important. But her story shows my workshop is important.

Please support my cause by "chipping in"?

Reach one. Teach one.

My October schedule is jam packed and I'm not complaining. I'm doing exactly what I want to do. My mission is to expose domestic violence/abuse and help victims become survivors.

This coming Saturday (October 8th) I will be on the radio. Next Saturday (October 15th) I'll speak to women living in a shelter and women who are enrolled in a special program (in Petersburg, VA). I'm in the confirmation stages for a second radio interview and an event with fair housing.

Every event is special and I hope to reach one. But my biggest event to date will be November 7th when I return to my Alma Mater to speak to 300 9th & 10th graders. This event is very special to me because I will be speaking to teens in hopes to prevent dating abuse.

My vision is to use glow sticks during a PowerPoint slide show to represent the statistics one each slide; hand out trinkets to students who participate by asking and answering questions; give each student a brochure on dating violence and have a (biodegradable) purple balloon release at the end of each session. So, I need 700 glow sticks (each student will receive), 150 trinkets, 300 brochures and 300 balloons. Did I mention I was not getting paid for this event?

So to make this event memorable, I need your help. Will you "chip in"? If fifty people donate $10 my goal will be met. If we reach one, we will teach one and maybe even save a life.

Help me teach teens about dating violence.

Upcoming Appearances

My mission statement is to expose the horrors of domestic and sexual violence through my writing and speaking.

Saturday, October 8, 2011: 1pm-3pm Ladies Lounge internet based radio showSaturday, October 15, 2011: Closed speaking engagement at the Petersburg Department Social Services November 10, 2011: Closed book discussion with residents of FreedomPlace, a Washington, DC domestic violence transitional living facilityWant me to come and tell my story to your group?  Email me.

If you didn't get your free ecopy of Sixty-7, what are you waiting for?  Get it on your Nook or Kindle.

Fellowships, Residencies & Grants

I haven't posted in quite some time because I decided to take time to apply for a few opportunities that would help me financially.  I was writing Too Young For What but stopped abruptly when I found out about some residencies, fellowships and grants.  I thought about applying for only a brief moment.  I knew these were opportunities that would help me in the long run.

The first I happened upon was a residency for Hedgebrook in Washington State.  Hedgebrook is the residency I REALLY want.  Not to say any of the others are less important, but I've always wanted to be alone in the woods sitting in a cabin writing.  I can see myself sitting there looking out the a window at the tall trees with the forest breeze blowing on my face.  Walking through fields of flowers, picking a few and smelling them.  But that has nothing to do with writing does it?  I will write while I'm there and I expect it to be the best writing ever.  If God wants it for my growth, I'll be there.

The next was a grant forwarded to me by a friend who was in the domestic violence shelter with me.  This grant is from Verizon Wireless and is for survivors of domestic violence to start a business.  I found out about this grant on a Monday, it was due that following Thursday.  I did my best while putting this grant together and think I thoroughly explained my business plan.  Right now I am an author, but I want to be much more than that.  Some may think writing, publishing and promoting books are a piece of cake.  Let me tell you, it's not a get rich quick scheme and it take a lot of hard work.  My husband and I came up with a great business idea that includes my personal mission statement and my love of writing.  Once everything is worked and completed out, I will post about it.  But trust me, it's a good one!  Well, I did get this grant in with four minutes to spare.  No thanks to my desktop, which didn't save the files as PDFs.  I had to email them to myself and then use my husband's laptop to convert.  Alas, I got it in on time.

The next grant I worked on is or artists' with children.  After working on a residency application and a grant application, this one was a tad bit easier.  Receiving this grant will help me pay for research, writer's conference trips and other "stuff".  I got this one in early.

So what's up next?  Two more.... another grant (which must be mailed) and another fellowship.  Guess what?  they are both due the same day- October 3! 

Bandyz for DV!

I ordered them last Sunday and got them today.  My silly bands, I mean... Bandyz, are here!  Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy!  This means I will be able to give them away at my speaking engagements during domestic violence awareness month (which is October, for those who don't know).

This is what they look like:
[image error] Pretty cool, huh?  :-D




If you would like to order some, visit Bandyz.com.

I'm down with Hogmob!

"I spent too much time writing my book.  Why would I make it free?" and "A free ebook makes readers think the story is no good" are the types of comments I hear when it comes to authors making their books available for free.  Another school of thought is a new author, such as myself, can gain readership from those downloads.

After much thought and consideration, I decided to make Sixty-7 free on all ebook outlets.  Yeah, I may be crazy to you but here are my reasons.  First of all, my books are my ministry.  I have, personally, never heard of a book that handled the topic of domestic violence like I did in Sixty-7.  I want people to read Sixty-7.  I want to change lives, that's why I write.  To me, my writing is about changing lives with an entertainment twist. 

I had been hearing the term HOGMOB since listening a (Christian) rapper Bizzle.  HOGMOB means "high on God, ministry over business".  (Bizzle puts out mixed tapes (cds) free but he also sells his music.)  I wasn't selling many copies of Sixty-7 so I decided to HOGMOB it out because I honestly want to bring awareness to domestic abuse.  I don't care about the $2 I was making from the book each month.  If I was making more than $2 would I have considered making it free?  Yes.  This is my ministry.

Some wisenheimer will say, "why not make both of your books free".  Because I am not an idiot, though some may think I am because I am a full time author, and need to pay my bills.  Yes, God will supply my needs but I can't sit around and not do anything.  He helps those who help themselves.

Will I keep it free?  I don't know.  I just may.

So do I recommend you make your ebook free?  Not if you don't think it's worth it.  If your ebook is a full length novel, I would not suggest you make it free.  I would say, write a short story or novella and make that free.

All I know is, making Sixty-7 free was a good move for me.  Readers will get to know my work and hopefully read any other books in my Family Secrets Series.

If you haven't already, get Sixty-7 for your Kindle, Nook or through Smashwords. 

I leave you with this song by Bizzle . Enjoy!

It's all good!

Back in the day when Snoop Dog first came out, he used to say, "It's all good".  Well, I have to say even though Irene came through, dropped a tree on my neighbor's home and left our us without electricity for the past 5 days, It's all good, because it's all God.

It's been great to get to know my neighbor's, some I had never had a full conversation with until Sunday (after the storm).  We've been helping each other out with food, by cooking on the grill and feeding the kids in the neighborhood.  Since the electricity has been out, we've networked and have been able to share information that would have never come up in conversation otherwise.  One thing I know for sure, God knows what He's doing, no matter what we think.  He's always in control and I love Him for that. 

So to you I say, no matter what you are going through, everything happens for a reason.  I know that's hard to believe when you are going THROUGH a difficult time.  I am, well we are going through a difficult time and we are making it work for the best.  Yes, our patience is being tested (today) but, I know it'll get better soon! (Once, the lights are back on and I can take a hot shower.)

Stay strong and know you'll make it though. 

Review of "Trafficked: The diary of a sex slave" by Sibel Hodge

Another story bringing light to the underground world of human trafficking, this time written by Sibel Hodge.  I interviewed on Sibel  on May 18, 2011.  She usually doesn't write this type of story, her usual genre is chick lit.

Synopsis of Trafficked:
My name is Elena and I used to be a human being. Now I am a sex slave. If you are reading this diary then I am either dead or I have managed to escape… Trafficked: The Diary of a Sex Slave is a gritty, gripping, and tear-jerking novella, inspired by real victims' accounts and research into the sex trafficking underworld.

My review: 
Elena's diary brings you into the horrific world of a sex slave and makes one wonder if those missing persons reports should be reports of possible sexual exploitation.

Bravo Sibel for tackling an issue many authors don't want to touch.

My Thoughts:
I want more books of this nature to be written.  I feel there is not enough awareness regarding the issue of human trafficking.  Wake up people it's really happening.  Just because someone has disappeared does not mean they have runaway.  That person (males included) could be in the underground world as a sex slave.

No one is safe.  Keep your children safe and teach them the dangers they could encounter (while out with friends, on the internet).  Adults need to be safe too, as we see in Trafficked.

Another reason why I self-published

In 2009 I was listening to a local radio station and was excited to hear one of my favorite authors was going to be interviewed in the upcoming segment.  At the time I was sending my work to agents in hopes of being signed, so as she spoke, I hung on to every word.  When the time came for callers, I dialed her the radio station on my cellphone while my husband called on his.  I got thorough and was so excited as I gushed out my question, "how did you get signed?"  She told me was lucky enough to find an agent who liked her work after submitting to many who didn't.  I finally told her I had just finished a book and wanted to be signed.  She (and the DJ) told me to send her a copy.

This author (who runs a publishing company) happened to be on a book tour in my area, so I decided I would go show her support and talk to her more.  I went to the book signing, told her I was the caller from the radio and purchased two copies of her book.  She asked if I had a copy of my book for her and I told her I didn't.  (I hadn't received my review/copies.)  Before leaving, she gave me her "real" name and address so I could send her a copy.

When my review copies came in the mail, I sent one to her with a letter.  After a week, I sent a follow up email to see if she had received her copy.  She told me she had and would get back to me.  A month later, I sent another follow up and received no reply.  (I figured she was busy on tour.)  Six months after the first attempt to follow up, I sent another email and received a reply that pretty much said, "don't call me, I'll call you".

That was two years ago and she still didn't "ring my phone".

The moral of the story?  Don't put all your eggs in one basket.  No one will put the time and effort in my work like I will.