I'm Ready to Heal! (Part 4)
Please read Part 1, 2, & 3 before moving on to the final post in the "I'm Ready to Heal" series.
If you have not done so, take a moment to read I'm Ready to Heal: Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3 before moving on to this blog post.
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We started by wanting to heal, moved on to getting to know ourselves, then, writing for healing and feeling. Finally, the most difficult step. The one I struggled with until I truly understood the true definition of the word.
The final step I am going to share to help you move toward healing is: FORGIVENESS!
*Insert screech of needle being pushed across a record**
Yes, I am telling you, you have to forgive. You must forgive your abuser. I know, I'm making it seem easy and actually it is quite simple.
Understand, I am recommending you forgive NOT forget. Forgetting would not be a smart thing to do. It could get you back in the same situation you just got out of. There is a difference between forgetting and forgiving.
Forgiving is a decision to let go of feelings of resentment and revenge (period). Make that decision, you'll be a happier person.
Before you give me a verbal lashing in the comments section :) remember, I HAVE BEEN THERE! I'm sure my story is similar to your story. I have been abused, raped, molested, a single mom and homeless. I do not share that as a badge of honor. I share because I want you to understand that I DO know how you feel. I know it is hard to forgive.
Your abuser is not the only person you must forgive.... you also have to forgive yourself. I know, I know. It's hard, but you deserve forgiveness from yourself. I did the best with what knowledge and resources I had. Yes, I knew things were not right and should be different but I did not know how to make any change. I did not have a foundation strong enough to keep thoughts of fear and doubt from entering my mind. Once I got the knowledge and gathered the resources I decided to change my life. Change is not easy, but it's needed to be happy. So forgive yourself.
Forgiveness is not going to happen overnight. I believe that just wanting to forgive is a step in the right direction! It shows you want to change your life and you don't want to be (or remain) bitter. Have you ever seen a bitter person? It actually looks like they are sucking on sour grapes!
If you take the advice I gave in the "I'm Ready to Heal" series you will be well on your way toward healing. If the posts are not enough and you need a little more advice. Consider purchasing my book, I Have Been There: Sisterly Advice from One Survivor of Abuse to Another. I wrote it to help, not to hurt.
If you have not done so, take a moment to read I'm Ready to Heal: Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3 before moving on to this blog post.
***************
We started by wanting to heal, moved on to getting to know ourselves, then, writing for healing and feeling. Finally, the most difficult step. The one I struggled with until I truly understood the true definition of the word.
The final step I am going to share to help you move toward healing is: FORGIVENESS!
*Insert screech of needle being pushed across a record**
Yes, I am telling you, you have to forgive. You must forgive your abuser. I know, I'm making it seem easy and actually it is quite simple.
Understand, I am recommending you forgive NOT forget. Forgetting would not be a smart thing to do. It could get you back in the same situation you just got out of. There is a difference between forgetting and forgiving.
Forgiving is a decision to let go of feelings of resentment and revenge (period). Make that decision, you'll be a happier person.
Before you give me a verbal lashing in the comments section :) remember, I HAVE BEEN THERE! I'm sure my story is similar to your story. I have been abused, raped, molested, a single mom and homeless. I do not share that as a badge of honor. I share because I want you to understand that I DO know how you feel. I know it is hard to forgive.
Your abuser is not the only person you must forgive.... you also have to forgive yourself. I know, I know. It's hard, but you deserve forgiveness from yourself. I did the best with what knowledge and resources I had. Yes, I knew things were not right and should be different but I did not know how to make any change. I did not have a foundation strong enough to keep thoughts of fear and doubt from entering my mind. Once I got the knowledge and gathered the resources I decided to change my life. Change is not easy, but it's needed to be happy. So forgive yourself.
Forgiveness is not going to happen overnight. I believe that just wanting to forgive is a step in the right direction! It shows you want to change your life and you don't want to be (or remain) bitter. Have you ever seen a bitter person? It actually looks like they are sucking on sour grapes!
If you take the advice I gave in the "I'm Ready to Heal" series you will be well on your way toward healing. If the posts are not enough and you need a little more advice. Consider purchasing my book, I Have Been There: Sisterly Advice from One Survivor of Abuse to Another. I wrote it to help, not to hurt.
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