Jon Acuff's Blog, page 86
December 19, 2012
2 worlds collide and it is awesome.
My mom gave me this. Moleskine + Hobbit = Awesome.
Were you aware this existed?
Want a free copy of my new book two months before it comes out?
My new book, Start, comes out in April.
Want to get a free copy two months before that?
Come to Start Night.
On the night of February 7th we’re holding a special event at the Franklin Theatre.
Built in 1937, this unbelievable location is going to be the perfect place for a small event about big dreams.
How small? Half the size of the Quitter Conference.
That means there aren’t many tickets available.
Which means we can give everyone a copy of the book.
In most years, February is the month our New Year’s resolutions go to die.
Not this year.
Sign up for Start Night today. The early bird price is only $29.
The thing about 7 year olds.
Today I turned 37. If you’re still shopping for a gift, I’m a medium t-shirt.
And as a man in his late 30s, with gray hair, I like to think I am smart-ish.
But sometimes my kids remind me that I overcomplicate things. I make them convoluted so that I won’t have to do them or act on them. Then, while driving on a Sunday morning my kids say something that crashes me back down to earth. Something simple and true and powerful.
Last weekend, while headed to church, McRae, my 7 year old said:
“If you’re rich, but not generous, you’re actually poor.”
And she’s right.
If your money becomes your sense of self worth, you’re poor.
If your money becomes your identity, you’re poor.
If your money becomes your reason to live, you’re poor.
May we all know the kind of wealth that matters most in 2013.
December 18, 2012
The secret move Christians do at restaurants.
The secret is out.
How I convinced my wife to marry me.
Are you single this Christmas?
If someone says, “Maybe this Christmas you have the gift of celibacy like Paul,” you have my permission to punch them in the face.
But if you want to meet your wife, a real Proverbs 31 woman if you will, here’s basically how I convinced my wife to marry me. I was this:
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Source: google.com via Jon on Pinterest
The biggest lie Christians tell.
It’s that time of year again.
The weathers cold, the noses are runny, the coughs are back.
Time for us Christians to tell the biggest lie we tell all year.
What is it?
“I’m not contagious anymore.”
This is singlehandedly the biggest falsehood.
How come we all become medical professionals when it comes to diagnosing the precise moment we’re no longer contagious?
And how come that moment always so precisely syncs up with the day you want to go back to work or church?
Because that’s what happens. You sit next to someone at work, and they cough loudly. For eight hours. They take Mucinex (worst/best mascot ever). They down Fisherman’s Friends cough drops like they were trying to fight scurvy. Their cubicle smells like eucalyptus. They have a six pack of leeches on their forearm to suck out the bad blood. And when you make eye contact with them, they immediately say, “Sorry about the cough, but don’t worry, I’m not contagious anymore.”
Not true.
Say instead, “I’m not going to use vacation days just because I’m wildly contagious.” Or “I’m really excited about going to Panama City Beach this summer, so I’m going to work sick for a few days and see if I can get this thing to piggy back you instead. You want to share a Coke?”
Be honest, have you ever told someone you aren’t contagious anymore?
(I know I have.)
December 17, 2012
Did cats cause the fall of man?
Why did we get kicked out of Eden?
A snake.
A stupid, slippery, evil snake talked us into making a mistake. The world’s first “epic fail” if you will.
As a result, for centuries we’ve hated snakes. But the other day, while at a museum in Washington, D.C., I made a startlingly discovery.
At first glance, this painting is not that shocking. Adam and Eve are reclining near a snake. No surprises there, right?
But look a little closer.
What’s that in the corner?
A cat.
Look at his face.
Look at his eyes. Look how they look upside down. (Which is like playing a record backwards. Google “record” kids.)
That’s no ordinary cat.
That’s a fireborn feline who is about to cause the fall.
Why did we get kicked out of Eden?
Cats.
Are you surprised? Do you think cats might have caused the fall of man?
December 14, 2012
Casually plagiarizing worship lyrics in our prayers
(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Robby Rasbaugh. You can read his blog here. You can also follow him on Twitter @robbyrasbaugh. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)
Casually plagiarizing worship lyrics in our prayers
Some time ago, I was chilling at the Bethel College coffee house with my buddy CJ having a friendly lunch appointment (or as we call it, a “man-date”). And as good brothers in Christ do, we prayed for each other. But as my buddy prayed, I noticed that some of his words sounded strangely familiar, and actually rather lyrical. This was the gist of what he prayed:
“Lord, I just pray that we would run into your arms and that we would realize the riches of your love will always be enough and that nothing compares to your embrace.”
A couple thoughts went through my mind. First of all, the last line made me wonder what kind of a hugger Jesus is—does he give big spine-crushing hugs like my uncle Dave or would it be like embracing the Snuggle Bear? I’m not sure. I guess we won’t know until we get to heaven.
But the second and more provoking thought was, “He just bummed those words off of the Hillsong song ‘Forever Reign’”. And after further contemplation, I realized this happens in Christian prayer circles all the time.
Sometimes Christians panic during prayer and spout off the first articulate phrase that comes to mind that will make them sound holy—kind of like Ben Stiller’s “Godspell” dinner prayer in “Meet the Parents”. And worship songs that they’ve learned in church seem like the perfect man for the job. And that’s legitimate, because a lot of worship songs were written as prayers anyway.
But other times, I think people jam-pack their prayers with worship lyrics intentionally—especially worship leaders. This prayer tactic makes or a great segue into their next song. Much of the time, I’ll even find myself analyzing the worship leader’s prayer to find hints of what the next song might be. You may laugh at that, but when the worship leader prays something like, “From the inside out, Lord, our souls cry out,” I think it’s pretty easy to forecast the next song in the set.
However, I can’t help but wonder if there is a breach of copyright here. Aren’t these worship lyrics technically trademarked? Where do we draw the legal line? Do I always have to accompany the phrase “Break my heart for what breaks yours” with the disclaimer “this prayer courtesy of Hillsong United”? Will Horatio Spafford turn over in his grave if I pray, “Whatever our lot I pray you’d teach us to say ‘It is well with my soul’” without giving him due credit? If I pray the phrase “If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking” during a church service, will John
Mark McMillan and David Crowder bust through the ceiling, repel down the wall like a two-man SWAT team, break a keytar over my head and file a lawsuit for copyright infringement because I didn’t correctly cite my sources? (And more importantly, would a heated debate ensue over whether our kisses should be “sloppy wet” or “unforeseen”?)
I’m not sure, but I say we’re all better safe than sorry. In the meantime, I might try quoting some obscure hymns from the back of my church hymnal during my prayers and see if anyone catches on. Or I might just disregard all copyright laws and spontaneously burst into song during my prayers when I feel like it. After all Lord, how can I keep from singing your praise? (Oops! Sorry for letting that one slip Chris Tomlin.)
What worship lyrics have you heard plagiarized in prayer?
(For more great writing from Robby, check out his blog!)
December 13, 2012
The only Greek I know.
“Hydrox” is Greek for “Welcome to Vacation Bible School.”
Was my church the only one that never had Oreos?
