Jon Acuff's Blog, page 83
January 7, 2013
Proverbs 7
What struck me about Proverbs 7 was how the passage flipped upside down.
It started out with a seductress describing a perfumed bed. Cinnamon sheets and tales of forbidden love. It was like a Lifetime channel movie. But in the space off a few sentences, it shifts dramatically. It’s a horror movie, with an arrow piercing a liver, as a young man is led to the very chambers of death.
Suddenly, we’re watching Saw 7, not Proverbs 7.
And what’s interesting is how things start. Life would be so easy if sin looked like sin from the get go. If we could always see the outcome before we took our first step. But we can’t, we see a perfumed bed. We hear kind words and step by step the story starts to shift beneath our feet.
This is why we must guard God’s teaching as the apple of our eye. This is why we must store up his commands, because the road to death looks pretty amazing at the start of the story.
9 ways to an awesome Christian wedding.
There are three actions we Christians love:
Journaling
Waiting
Weddinging
That last one really got away from me, but “getting marrieding” was just as dumb.
The point is, we love weddings and it often seems like they are triggered via chain reaction.
One friend gets married and then all of your other friends get married that same summer. (The same thing happens when your friends have kids.)
But how do you have an awesome Christian wedding?
You make sure these 9 things happen:
1. Get a “silver medal” friend to read the Bible during the ceremony.
A silver medal friend is someone you like but not enough to actually have in your wedding. They didn’t make the wedding party so their consolation prize is that they get to read a Bible verse. Don’t act like this doesn’t happen. It does. Girl, you know it’s true. And it’s OK.
2. Find a pastor who won’t make sex jokes.
Some pastors can’t avoid the temptation to make a joke about the song of Solomon. I once heard a pastor make multiple, “Not that they care where they are going for the honeymoon cause they won’t leave the room” type of jokes. Brutal. Steer clear of this.
3. Book a church that allows you to dance.
My wife hates to dance. So, she planned our reception at a church that believed dancing was of the devil. Checkmate Jenny. But if you like to dance, make sure you find a church or reception area that is not going to footloose you.
4. Make at least one “love is patient” cameo.
If this verse is not read at your wedding, good luck. Good luck.
5. Get ready for waffle makers.
No one buys waffle makers for themselves. 100% of all waffle makers are purchased as wedding gifts. And then you get 6 at your wedding and have to pretend that you and your spouse are some sort of waffle hoarders. “No, I can’t get rid of that one, it’s got sentimental value!” Get ready my friend, when you get married, it’s waffle time.
6. Read the Five Love Languages.
This book is standard fare for young married couples. Granted, the author has not replied to my numerous requests to make “sarcasm,” the sixth love language, but eventually I am sure he will cave.
7. Get a unity candle, ribbon or sand.
Find some sort of metaphor that says, “Hey, two are about to become one.” The sand is the rarest, but I think the unity candle is a pretty solid go to. Don’t do anything too complicated though. I’ve seen weddings where the guy tried to put some unity necklace on his wife and his hands were shaking so badly that he couldn’t open the clasp. Took like an hour to get that necklace situation worked out.
8. Make sure the pastor mentions the sun and your anger.
Though I think we might be misinterpreting this verse, we love telling folks to make sure the sun doesn’t go down on your anger. Which kind of sounds a little like your anger turns into a Gremlin at night if not dealt with during the sunlight.
9. Look for your “As for me and my house” plaque.
Next to waffle makers, this is our favorite gift. Probably going to have a nice coat of polish on it, maybe on a walnut background with a farm scene.
Nine point lists are dumb.
What would you add to this list?
What does an awesome Christian marriage need?
January 6, 2013
Proverbs 6
Whenever the Bible is so clear to say, “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him,” it’s good to pay attention.
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
What’s interesting about that list is that three of them involve your mouth.
God hates a lying tongue.
He detests a false witness who pours out lies.
He hates a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.
We focus on so many things in life that we shouldn’t do, but how often do we put the kind of attention God puts on something as simple as the words we say.
Want to steer your way clear of this list this year?
Watch your mouth.
January 5, 2013
Proverbs 5
This verse reads like something I could see Aragorn saying to Frodo as he struggles with the adventure.
9 lest you give your best strength to others and your years to one who is cruel,
What a miserable fate, to give your best strength to others and your years to one who is cruel.
It’s written about the adulteress, but I think it’s bigger than that. I think it could be written about fear or shame or hate.
There is no shortage of “others” who are more than happy to take your years.
We don’t have many.
Be careful who you give them to.
January 4, 2013
Proverbs 4
What does guarding your heart look like?
It might mean not listening to your favorite Kanye song.
That’s what happened to me.
As I wrote about before, I downloaded a song from “Watch the Throne” because it helped motivate me to run faster.
It was inspiring and fast paced and pushed me forward.
But then I listened to the lyrics and had to be honest.
How could I say the song impacted me to run faster but the lyrics didn’t impact me at all?
It had to be one way or the other.
Proverbs 4 calls us to guard our hearts.
I don’t know what that means for you, but for me it means being more deliberate about what I put in it.
January 3, 2013
One of the funniest things I saw last year.
Brian Williams, from NBC, did a review of the iPhone commercial with Zooey Deschanel.
Here is what he said:
Cake topper.
Nothing kicks off a lifetime of love like a wedding cake topper that says, “I’m going to ignore you even during our first dance.”
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Source: weddingfavorsunlimited.com via Jon on Pinterest
Proverbs 3
Verse 9 is difficult. Here is what it says,
9Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops;
The reason it is difficult is because of what it means. Firstfruits are not scraps, they are not leftovers, they are not what other areas of your life have not gobbled up first.
They are intentional and deliberate and first.
Which makes me wonder, when it comes to my time and creativity and energy, how often does God get the rest of me, instead of the best of me?
