Jon Acuff's Blog, page 81
January 21, 2013
New.
A note I wrote myself for days that I get stuck trying to force better instead of receiving new.
Exercise Jesus Juke.
Oh, you exercise? So do I. With Jesus. (Funniest thing might be the insulting sign right under it.)
January 19, 2013
January 18, 2013
Lance Armstrong Sermon Illustrations.
I wish I could buy stock in ideas like this, because I would make 14 bajillionity dollars this weekend.
Can we estimate how many pastors will use a Lance Armstrong sermon illustration?
I’m even willing to bet some go the alliteration angle and title the sermon, “Lessons from the Lies of Lance.”
Me?
I’d use Lance as the relevance maker and then dovetail into a David killing Uriah sermon.
I just wrote that one for you. It’s free.
Do you think your pastor will reference Lance this weekend?
Stuff Christians Like – The Movie
(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Stephen Pepper. You can check out his blog here. You can also follow him on Twitter @youthworkinit. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)
Stuff Christians Like – The Movie
Jon’s already released a book based on Stuff Christians Like, but Rob Bell’s now teamed up with the producer of Lost to create a new TV show. I therefore think it’s time for Jon to take Stuff Christians Like to the next level and turn it into a TV series or movie.
What would it be about though? Here are some pitches to get the ball rolling:
The Jukes of Hazzard – Two cousins drive around, foiling the schemes of Boss Hogg. At the end of each episode, they tell him that if only he dedicated as much effort to doing the work of Jesus as he does to his shady dealings, the world would be a better place.
The Blind Sidehug – An enormous college football player is banned from full-frontal embracing of the family who adopted him.
V-Neck For Vendetta – Hugo Weaving stars as a worship leader seeking revenge on the members of the congregation who superglued a regular T-shirt to his body so that he could never wear a V-neck again.
Knight Brider – A medieval nobleman (and his trusty steed, Kitt) travels around the kingdom searching for the damsel who he can one day – and every single day after that – refer to as “My Bride.”
Booty, God, Booty And The Beast – Belle is forced to dance to Sir MixaLot, then Mary Mary, then Flo Rida.
Crazy, Stupid, Love Languages - A middle-aged husband’s life changes dramatically when his wife asks him for a divorce, so he starts giving her words of affirmation and doing acts of service.
Father Abraham Of The Bride – Steve Martin stars as a Dad who’s so unwilling to give his daughter’s hand away in marriage that he insists her fiance sing campfire songs until he’s scared away.
Harry Potlucker – The students at Hogwarts are feeling homesick, so Harry organizes a special lunch so they can all fellowship.
Unpack To The Future – Marty McFly sees a counselor to discuss the trauma of kissing his mother when he traveled back in time.
Over The Hedge Of Protection – A raccoon goes a step too far when trying to steal food, meaning he’s no longer watched over by his guardian angel.
The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Mercies – Four best friends decide to stay connected by insisting that each of them utter a cliched term every time someone they know goes on a journey.
Agape It Forward – A young boy tries to make the world a better place by offering unconditional love to all he meets.
The Pastor’s Kids Are All Right - Two children conceived by artificial insemination discover that their father is a man of the cloth.
The Worship Eagle Has Landed – A holy bird of prey is sent to England on a covert mission to kidnap Prime Minister Winston Churchill and bring him to Berlin.
Cruel Intentional Community – A stepbrother and stepsister have a creepy relationship, while also living in close proximity with numerous other stepbrothers and stepsisters who also have creepy relationships.
Family Tithes - A couple who were ardently left-wing political activists in the sixties face the problem of deciding whether to give 10% to God or directly to poor people.
Question: What other SCL-inspired movies and TV shows can you think of?
(For more great writing from Stephen, check out his blog.)
January 17, 2013
January 16, 2013
Remember, he remembers.
Sometimes, we find ourselves in the middle of storms.
A consequence of an action catches up with us.
We hurt someone or get hurt by someone.
We lose our jobs, our marriages and hope.
We land in the middle of a storm.
Recently, I read about someone who understands that.
In Genesis 8:1 it says, “But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.”
That is amazing. Why?
Well, the earth has 196,939,900 square miles of surface area.
The ark was 450 feet long and 75 feet wide.
It would have been easy to misplace something so small and insignificant. I lose my phone all the time and the surface area of my pockets is less than 196,939,900.
It’s actually a lot less since, by law, I have to wear skinny jeans now that I live in Nashville.
But God remembered.
He remembered.
And he sent a wind.
And the waters receded.
That’s my prayer for you and I, that we will remember he remembers. That we serve a God who remembers us in our storms, sees us in our small boats, and recedes our waters with a gentle wind.
January 15, 2013
Gandalf’s Problem Solving Flowchart.
Do you know what you should do? Follow me on Pinterest.
Know what else you should do? Use Gandalf’s Problem Solving Flowchart next time you find yourself in a bind.
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Killer Whales
The other day I googled, “How much does a killer whale weigh?”
Why? Because I’m curious. Like a monkey. Don’t judge me.
But what surprised me, even more than the weight of this apex predator, was the second question that popped up in Google. You can see it below.
Who is concerned about that? Who needs that information? My guess is we’re on the verge of seeing a new trend of rappers buying killer whales. Diddy is one Labor Day party away from adding one to his pool.
You heard it here first.
January 14, 2013
Proverbs 11.
A friend of mine once told me that “generosity is a game changer.”
He said that when you’re generous, it completely changes an entire situation. And he’s right.
You will work harder for a boss who is generous to you.
You will work longer for a boss who is generous to you.
You will tell your smartest friends that they’d be smart to work for the company you work for if your boss is generous to you.
And that’s just work.
Generosity changes everything and this verse in Proverbs 11 is why I try to be generous with things I have:
25 A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.
That’s such a smarter way to say something I learned recently. It turns out that helping other people change their lives is more awesome than obsessing about your own.
Be generous.
It’s a game changer.
