Jon Acuff's Blog, page 82
January 15, 2013
Gandalf’s Problem Solving Flowchart.
Do you know what you should do? Follow me on Pinterest.
Know what else you should do? Use Gandalf’s Problem Solving Flowchart next time you find yourself in a bind.
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Killer Whales
The other day I googled, “How much does a killer whale weigh?”
Why? Because I’m curious. Like a monkey. Don’t judge me.
But what surprised me, even more than the weight of this apex predator, was the second question that popped up in Google. You can see it below.
Who is concerned about that? Who needs that information? My guess is we’re on the verge of seeing a new trend of rappers buying killer whales. Diddy is one Labor Day party away from adding one to his pool.
You heard it here first.
January 14, 2013
Proverbs 11.
A friend of mine once told me that “generosity is a game changer.”
He said that when you’re generous, it completely changes an entire situation. And he’s right.
You will work harder for a boss who is generous to you.
You will work longer for a boss who is generous to you.
You will tell your smartest friends that they’d be smart to work for the company you work for if your boss is generous to you.
And that’s just work.
Generosity changes everything and this verse in Proverbs 11 is why I try to be generous with things I have:
25 A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.
That’s such a smarter way to say something I learned recently. It turns out that helping other people change their lives is more awesome than obsessing about your own.
Be generous.
It’s a game changer.
This.
January 12, 2013
January 11, 2013
Proverbs 10
I’m beginning to see a pattern. I’m beginning to see some ideas repeated and that’s certainly true in Proverbs 10.
What struck me most about this chapter was how, once again, the mouth was a prime suspect in most bad situations.
From lying to chattering to slander, the words of our mouth were on full display in Proverbs 10. In fact, 12 of the 32 verses directly mentioned how we speak.
It gives me great pause to think about the words I use in the days I have.
Spouting Blasphemy by Accident
(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Justin & Trisha Davis. You can check out their blog here. You can also follow them on Twitter @justindavis33 and @trishadavis23. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)
Last summer my two oldest sons went to basketball camp at the college my wife Trisha and I attended. A few hours after we dropped them off I got a text from my oldest, “Dad, our coach for the week is your college basketball teammate, Kenny.” I texted back, “That’s awesome, have fun.” But in my gut I was nervous. Kenny has stories to tell about me. Kenny has stories that I’m glad originated before Twitter or Facebook. Kenny is the keeper of stories that I’d successfully kept from my kids for 15 years.
Half way through the week, I got a call from my boys. They were on speakerphone, and they were laughing hysterically.
“Is GOD there!?” one of them shouted. “Can we talk to GOD?” another screamed through laughter.
They knew!
Kenny had leaked the story. My boys knew about how I met their mother and the day I almost lost my salvation. It wasn’t intentional blasphemy. I was trying to win the heart of a lady.
Since Kenny, shared it with them, I’ll share it with you.
Trisha and I met in 1993. I was a junior and she was a freshman at Lincoln. After one of our first chapels of the year, my aforementioned friend Kenny asked, “Have you seen the hot girl with the bright red lipstick?”
I hadn’t. . . yet.
I have to admit something: I am not proud of the story I am about to share. I wish that the details weren’t true, but unfortunately for your perception of me, they are.
Kenny and I walked from the chapel over to the cafeteria, and there Trisha stood—big 1993 hair coupled with bright red lipstick. She was indeed hot. I wanted to make a big impression, so I approached her with confidence.
“Hey there, beautiful. I don’t think we’ve ever met.” She smirked with what was either charm or disgust. So I continued to wow her. “My name is God, and—” pointing to Kenny—“this is my son, Jesus Christ.”
I don’t really know what I was thinking with that introduction. Maybe because we were at Bible College, I thought it would be both spiritual and endearing. Trisha thought it was neither.
I thought it was money. Trish thought it was blasphemy. Not only did she not want to go out with me, she was questioning my salvation.
Does claiming to be God count as blasphemy? Surly a pick up line couldn’t count as the unpardonable sin?
It took me several months to overcome that intro and convince Trish I wasn’t a cult leader. She eventually decided to go out with me and the rest is history…and a story my kids won’t let me forget.
Accidental blasphemy doesn’t actually qualify does it?
January 10, 2013
Jesus and some snacks.
I saw this last summer. Do you want a hotdog, pizza or Jesus? Choose carefully.
One is the bread of life. One is just breaded.
January 9, 2013
Proverbs 9
They should call Proverbs 9, “The troll chapter,” because it offers a succinct promise of what happens when you engage with trolls online.
“Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult;
whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.
Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;”
In three lines we are promised that if we engage with mockers we will invite insult, incur abuse and receive hate.
Remember that next time you want to get into a huge argument on Facebook or Twitter or a blog.
Let it go. Wisdom is calling.
Chase that instead.
Why I don’t believe in grace.
The other day, Ray Lewis, played his last game in Baltimore’s stadium. After 17 wildly successful years, he’s retiring.
At the end of the game he took off his jersey to reveal a shirt that said, “Psalms 91.”
I smiled at that, but then deep in my heart thought, “Yeah, but that guy was part of a double homicide. Whatever.”
And there it is.
I don’t believe in grace.
Or, I believe in it for me, and people who have sinned like me, but there’s a whole lot of people I don’t think deserve grace.
The problem is that when we talk about grace, we often don’t use one of the most important words to describe it.
We say, “Grace is powerful and free and beautiful and amazing.” But we leave out one of the key descriptors of grace.
The truth is, grace is offensive.
Grace offends in its’ generosity.
Grace offends in its’ availability.
Grace offends in its’ depth.
Grace offends in its’ unwillingness to be controlled or owned or manipulated.
Grace is offensive and when I see people who I think don’t deserve it, I am reminded of ultimately how desperately I still need it.
