Jon Acuff's Blog, page 85
December 27, 2012
God or Girlfriend? (Mumford & Sons Edition) (#2 in 2012)
Ever heard of the game “God or Girlfriend?”
Of course not, I just invented it!
Don’t worry, though, it’s easy to play. All you do is take the lyrics of a popular song and ask yourself, “Is this singer talking about God or Girlfriend?” (You can play “God or Boyfriend” with Florence + The Machine.)
Today’s song? “I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons.
This one is a little tricky because they’re clearly not a worship band, so you’d think, “This song is about lead singer Marcus’ girlfriend who he recently married.” But, not so fast, his parents are the national directors of the Vineyard Church in Great Britain.” As far as I’m concerned, he’s a pastor’s kid.
But don’t listen to me. Let’s look at the lyrics.
God or Girlfriend? Mumford & Sons Edition
“Well I came home”
Clearly this is a Prodigal Son reference.
“Like a stone”
Probably referring to the stone that was rolled away from the tomb.
And I fell heavy into your arms
Not sure, could be a girlfriend or God. Although it’d have to be a strong girlfriend to catch you if you fell that heavy. Probably does P90X. Or it could be about doing a trust fall during a youth group retreat. Too close to call.
“These days of dust”
This is about God and Adam, we all come from the dirt.
“Which we have known
Will blow away with this new sun”
Psalm 68:2 As smoke is blown away by the wind, may you blow them away. I’d feel better if the word “sun” was in that Bible verse, but close enough.
“But I’ll kneel down”
What do you do when you pray? You kneel! This song is about God!
“Wait for now”
Next to journaling, “waiting” is Christianity’s favorite verb.
And I’ll kneel down
Know my ground
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
“So break my step”
God is our shepherd. One of the things shepherds sometimes do with a wayward sheep is break his leg and then mend it. It helps the sheep stay close and learn. Don’t make me quote Isaiah 19:22, “The LORD will strike Egypt with a plague; he will strike them and heal them. They will turn to the LORD, and he will respond to their pleas and heal them.” Plus, this has to be about God. If you told a girlfriend, “So break my step,” she would sweep your leg and yell, “There is no pain in this dojo!” That relationship would be horrible.
“And relent
Well you forgave and I won’t forget”
Seriously, do I have to explain this one to you? This clue is 7 times 70 easy! Who is all about forgiveness? God!
“Know what we’ve seen
And him with less
Now in some ways
Shake the excess”
Not going to lie, this one is tricky. I think he’s saying. “You know what we’ve seen, we’ve been to the Grammy’s. I wore pants made of gold and unicorn manes.” And the him in “him with less” is referring to all of mankind, those of us who do not have access to pants woven from unicorns. He is asking God to shake the excess lifestyle from him, but saying “I don’t want to wear golden pants” would make for a really dumb lyric.
cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
“Now I’ll be bold
As well as strong”
Deuteronomy 31:6. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (This is practically a VBS song at this point!)
“And use my head alongside my heart”
So obvious, this is Marcus Mumford singing about taking something from your head to your heart, the hardest 12 inches to travel.
“So tame my flesh
And fix my eyes”
2 Corinthians 4:18. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
“A tethered mind freed from the lies”
You say tomato. I say tomato. You say “tethered.” I say “yoked.”
“And I’ll kneel down
Wait for now
And I’ll kneel down
Know my ground
Raise my hands”
A subtle reference to singing with your hands raised during church.
“Paint my spirit gold”
Wow, I should practically get seminary credit for listening to this song. Here we go with Job 23: 9-10
When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
“Bow my head”
Bow my head? Could this song be more about God?
Keep my heart slow
’cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
This one feels pretty easy. Roughly 82% of the Bible was referenced in this one song. But what do you think?
Question:
God or Girlfriend?
December 26, 2012
Tom Bombadil’s Fridge.
I like the Lord of the Rings. If you do too, you need to follow me on Pinterest.
Why?
Because I’ve created a board called “Tom Bombadil’s Fridge.” On it are all the great LOTR images I can imagine Bombadil taping up on his fridge.
Here’s the link to follow the board. If you’ve got an image that should be on the fridge, email me at jon at jonacuff.com.
Here are a few samples from the board:
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Source: Uploaded by user via Jon on Pinterest
Why people think Christians are fake. (#3 in 2012)
There was no yelling or screaming.
Nobody raised their voices there in the green room.
Nobody slammed their hands down on a table of free granola bars in rage.
It wasn’t that type of argument at all, but a worship leader and I did end up discussing something I strongly disagreed with. (It wasn’t about ending sentences with prepositions. I clearly have no problem with that.)
The worship leader I talked to said when he performed “Come Thou Fount,” he changed the lyrics.
I love that hymn.
For years, I listened to the version Jadon Lavik did. My favorite verse, the one I found most encouraging, when things felt the darkest in my spiritual walk, was this one:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.
I would like to say that, when I became a Christian, I quit making mistakes. I quit sinning. I quit being “prone to wander,” but the truth is I still fail. More than I’d like to. And the beauty of that song and the honesty of that last verse meant a lot to me.
So what verse was the worship leader changing?
That one.
His argument? He wasn’t “prone to wander or prone to leave.”
At this point in the conversation, I realized he was not like me.
Or Peter.
Or David.
Or “That’s not my wife, that’s my sister!” Abraham.
He was changing the lyrics to something like, “Prone to worship, prone to praise.”
And I thought about changing them too. Only mine would probably be, “Prone to bolt out the door like a dog if I see it cracked open for but the briefest of seconds, Prone to need grace one thousand times, for the things I promised myself I’d never do again but still did. ”
I’ve seen arguments online about the definition of the word “prone,” and maybe you can make a case there. (Then again, when we sing that God is a lion inside us, nobody argues that technically speaking, you don’t have a real lion inside you.) And I know the sad backstory of the guy who wrote the original hymn. But when people think Christians are fake, I think this is part of the reason why.
We tell each other we’re not prone to wander.
We act like our days of falling down are forever behind us.
And we create environments where no one can be honest.
You can’t share your whole life with somebody when the expectation is that you don’t fail.
You can only share the victories. And if you don’t have any victories that day or week, you better act like you do. Because as a Christian, you shouldn’t be prone to wander. And if you have, you just might not be a real Christian after all.
December 25, 2012
Babies crying during the sermon. (#4 in 2012)
A few weeks ago at church, there was a baby crying during the middle of the sermon.
Here is what immediately went through my head.
1. Am I the only one that hears that right now? No one else is looking back in that general area. Maybe this is my super power?
2. Heightened hearing? Is that the best superpower? The hearing of a bat?
3. Oh man, I hope my superpower is not just an ability to hear crying babies in crowded rooms. That would be the lamest superpower ever.
4. Except for the character Scarlett Johannson is playing in The Avengers. I love that scene in the trailer where they’re all back to back in the middle of the street. The Incredible Hulk is looking massive. Captain America is standing there with his crazy strength. Iron Man is all suited up. Thor has his mythological hammer. And then Scarlett cocks a handgun. Seriously? She’s a teammate of Thor, and she’s bringing a pistol to the party? If I’m a supernatural villain, I’m thinking “How adorable, tiny bullets!”
5. Don’t be that guy. Don’t you dare look back to see which baby it is.
6. But it’s so hard not to. I’m not judging. I’m just curious. That kid has some lungs! I feel like he’s probably standing up right now with both arms raised above his head victoriously. I gotta see this.
7. I live in Nashville. Maybe that kid will grow up to be the next Garth Brooks, and if I just sneak a glance back I’ll be able to say, “I saw Garth Brooks sing once when he was a baby. Sure hated sermons on spiritual warfare. I’ll tell you that right now.”
8. You can’t turn back to look at a screaming baby and not look like you hate babies. And people who bring babies into church.
9. Maybe they’re a visitor. And it’s their first kid. And their puppy died this morning as well. You’re such a jerk.
10. Remember how hard it was to get L.E. to go to the nursery when she was a baby? She wailed in the hall like you were dropping her off at baby prison. Have some empathy.
11. As a parent, it’s not easy to hand some stranger your baby and, in return, receive an elastic bracelet with a number on it. You vet babysitters at home like you’re the CIA, and now on Sunday morning you’re supposed to just walk up to a stranger in a brightly colored t-shirt and say, “Here’s my baby. I sure hope you’re not crazy. See you in an hour!” Have some empathy.
12. Be careful about writing about this on SCL. Even the faintest hint of suggesting that someone bring their kid to Sunday School instead of big church is libel to stir up some controversy. Like Rob Bell and Harry Potter.
13. Is there a verse where Jesus says, “Don’t you dare drop your kids off at Sunday School?” In the Sermon on the Mount did he ever say, “This next part is for the kids in the crowd. Could they join me up front for a minute?” At that point, did he dismiss them?
14. If we’re supposed to take our kids to big church and have them experience the same sermon adults experience, how come none of the disciples were little kids? How come we never heard about Timmy, the 4-year old disciple who used to get all grouchy when he hadn’t had a nap in a while and got sick of eating fish and loaves? Timmy wanted some chicken fingers!
Eventually the baby stopped crying. Or they took him out of the room. I’m not certain because I didn’t look back at the kid. Cause I love Jesus. And puppies.
How about you?
What goes through your head when you hear a baby cry?
December 24, 2012
Craziest Christmas Movie Ever.
My friend Brian D. sent me this description of a movie I’ve never seen.
What a weird remix this ends up becoming. I have no words.
Read and see for yourself.
What my kids did to our nativity.
Sometimes I like to think we’ve done a good job telling our kids about the real meaning of Christmas.
That we’ve kept the “Christ” in Christmas.
That we’re celebrating the reason for the season at the Acuff house.
That though there is no cake, my kids understand this is Jesus’ birthday.
And then I come home and find that they’ve Lion Kinged our nativity. Parents of the year, ladies and gentleman, the Acuffs.
December 21, 2012
Bacon: God’s Other Gift
(It’s guest post Friday! Here’s one from Brandon Mitchener. You can read his blog here. You can also follow him on Twitter @bmitchener48. If you want to write a guest post for SCL, here’s how!)
Bacon: God’s Other Gift
Let me just say this: I’m a meat kind of guy. There’s just something about a hearty steak, pork chop, or barbecue sauce-slathered ribs that equates to sheer euphoria. But there’s one meat in particular that beats out all other meats and foods and completely closes the argument about the existence of God. That meat, friends, is bacon.
Bacon is amazing. No, it can’t file your taxes, but that’s okay. Bacon is probably the one food that can go with any other food AND make it better. Bacon alone is phenomenal. Throw it in some grits (that’s good make-you-want-to-holler-Jesus Southern food), and you’ve got a party. Throw some bacon bits on a salad, and you’ve got a way to make any carnivore eat a green vegetable (see, it can work miracles, too). Burger King even had a dessert item called the Bacon Sundae. However, Wendy’s completely floored me when they came out with the Baconator, a sandwich with SIX pieces of divine pleasure on one sandwich. I recall looking ironically into one for the first time, and Etta James’ song “At Last” playing in my head due to the sheer ecstasy.
A food that good could have only come from the table of the Most High himself. Here’s how I picture the first creation of bacon:
God is sitting on His throne when he calls a few of his angels over to him.
Angels – “Yes, how may we serve, You?”
God – “I have given my children much to be thankful for, have I not?”
Angel #1 – “Surely! You have given them the Earth and all the creatures in it. You gave them the gift of sex which, I might add, they’re still reeling over, and of course you sent them your Son to atone for their sins.”
God – “Yes…but I wish to give them something else…especially for the single ones…something to tie them over until marriage.”
God makes a plate of bacon appear.
God – “Try this.”
Angel #2 – “MMMMM!”
Angel #3 -”OH, MY GOODNESS!”
Angel #1 – “They’re going to love this!”
God chuckles.
God – “Yes…how well I know.”
Okay, so maybe God didn’t create bacon with single people in minds But, hey, as a single guy I’d like to think married people get sex and we get bacon, but I digress. I love being a Christian, I really do. It contains the greatest plan for unconditional love the world will ever know. And as a bonus, I get to eat bacon. I couldn’t be part of a religion that doesn’t let me have meat, or as far as Islam goes, pork, and by extension, bacon. I mean, that’s just criminal. And vegetarians? I’ll never understand. Sure, you can say tofu is good and all, but that’s just like trying to substitute the love of Christ in your life with something else–it just doesn’t work. So while you’re living your baconless lives, I’ll be at home doing devos every morning, marveling at God’s power and awesomeness, thanking Him for His Word and His Son, all the while partaking of my bacon buffet.
For more great writing from Brandon, check out his blog!
December 20, 2012
Let’s make it rain goats.
A few years ago, my daughter L.E. saw a photo of a starving child in a book about weather. On a famine page they showed a little boy who had not eaten in a long time. 
She asked me about it and I told her that boy was starving.
She got quiet and then said, “But that’s pretend, right? That’s not real, right?”
She was 5 at the time and couldn’t imagine other 5 year olds had a different day than she did. She thought everyone got up, ate breakfast, did not watch Caillou because that kid is even scared of his own hair, ate lunch and dinner and then went to bed.
She didn’t understand poverty.
As a dad, what I really heard her saying in those questions she asked was, “You’re not OK with that, are you? Do other people know about that? Are you doing anything about that dad?”
At the time I really wasn’t. I was using this blog for my own fame, affirmation and “brand.”
But L.E.’s questions wouldn’t leave me alone. In the years that have followed we as a family have tried to be deliberate about serving. Even if one of the ways is a little ridiculous sounding.
For years, my kids have picked out items in a charity catalog.
“Items” is a bit of an overstatement. It’s really “item.”
The catalog could be a thousand pages long and it wouldn’t matter. My kids always pick one thing.
Goats.
They love sending goats to people.
Why?
Because they know that one goat produces 1.5 tons of manure each year, enriching soil with minerals, increasing crop growth.
Or they think goats are cute.
It’s probably that second reason.
This year, I thought it would be fun to invite you into the great Acuff goat adventure.
So for the next 24 hours, we’re going to make it rain goats. (100 to be exact.)
Some of my friends work for “Food for the Hungry.” Since 1971 they’ve worked incredibly hard to help change the world. Today, they’ve provided a super easy link and all the info you need. (To learn more about their work, click here.)
A goat costs $120. They are a simple, small, fun way for us to make poverty pretend.
You can give a full goat or just $20 toward a goat. (It’s Christmas, a lot of us are financially strapped right now what with Burlington Coat Factory and Sky Mall purchases and what not.)
Want to help the world in a fun way today?
Want to change the future for someone with something as tiny (and adorable) as a goat?
Let’s do it.
Let’s give 100 goats in the next 24 hours.
Want to help out?
Click here to give $20 toward a goat. (Maybe you can find 6 friends and sponsor that goat together and name it.)
Is that who said that?
First, it was Ben Franklin. Now, it’s Albus Dumbledore, of Harry Potter fame. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is he the first person who said this:
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Source: delafleur.tumblr.com via Jon on Pinterest
