Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 9

We Need Spiritual Mothers: Gen Z is Longing for You

May naturally turns our hearts toward motherhood. For many, it’s a sweet celebration; for others, it’s a tender reminder of grief or complicated stories. But wherever this month finds you, I believe there’s a bigger conversation we need to have:

Every woman — no matter her season of life — is called to nurture the next generation.

A few weeks ago, I sat with a group of my female students during a casual class conversation that turned deeper than I expected. We were talking about the value of human life, but as the discussion unfolded, it shifted into something more personal: “What does it mean to be a woman today?”

Their answers were heavy. They spoke of womanhood in terms of loss — of what they believed they would have to give up one day if they became mothers. They talked about how culture had shaped their thinking: motherhood meant losing your freedom, your identity, your dreams. They referenced postpartum depression, anxiety, trauma, and the countless stories they’ve heard online about the hardships of motherhood.

It struck me that these young women have grown up in what many call the therapeutic age — an age where personal feelings are the highest authority and personal happiness is the ultimate goal. In this view, anything that threatens individual comfort is often seen as a burden to be avoided. Even something as beautiful and God-given as motherhood has been reframed through the lens of fear, loss, and brokenness.

Don’t get me wrong — it’s good that we can now name the struggles women have always faced. It’s healthy to recognize postpartum depression, anxiety, and the cost of nurturing.

But if we stop there, we miss the whole story.  Motherhood — and even more broadly, spiritual motherhood — is a part of God’s good design to bring life, nurture faith, and build His Kingdom.

We need spiritual mothers, aunts, big sisters, teachers, and wise neighbors. Women who will sit with the next generation and not just tell them about the struggles, but also about the beauty — the joy, the purpose, the meaning that comes from laying down your life for the sake of another. And make no mistake: Gen Z is longing for this kind of voice in their lives.

According to Barna Group’s study Teens and Jesus, 77% of teenagers globally say they are at least somewhat motivated to learn more about Jesus.¹ Even more, nearly half (47%) of U.S. Christian teens say they want guidance from adults on how to follow Jesus in their daily lives.¹

At the same time, this generation is facing profound internal battles. A 2024 medical review found that anxiety and depression are the two largest mental health issues among Gen Z, with 9 out of 10 individuals diagnosed with a mental health condition experiencing anxiety, and 8 out of 10 experiencing depression.² It seems that whenever Gen Z is mentioned, it’s often in connection with rising rates of anxiety, depression, and isolation — all while being more connected and resourced than any generation before.

They don’t need perfect mentors. They need faithful women who will be present.

They need someone to ask good questions.To sit in the awkward silences.To encourage them when they can’t see the bigger story yet.To tell them the truth about who they are — made in the image of God, created with dignity, worth, and calling.

Titus 2 paints this beautiful vision for us: “Older women are to teach what is good, and so train the young women…” (Titus 2:3–4).

This kind of spiritual motherhood requires more than good intentions; it calls for intentional pursuit.This kind of mentoring isn’t about having a spotless life story or a shelf full of Bible study certificates. It’s about faithful women being willing to step into the slow, steady work of building relationships.

It’s about inviting a younger woman to coffee and dreaming with her about her future.

It’s attending a game or dance recital and saying the words “I’m so stinking proud of you” and celebrating her God given gifts. 

It’s about sending a text on test day or just to remind her she’s prayed for.

It’s showing up for the hard conversations, celebrating the small wins, and pointing them back to the goodness of God again and again. It’s about remembering that consistency over time shapes souls far more than one-time grand gestures ever could. It asks us to be available, attentive, prayerful, and willing to walk slowly with someone else — even when it’s inconvenient, even when it costs us something.

You don’t have to have it all figured out to start. You just have to be willing to open your life, your time, and your heart.

You don’t need a degree, a formal title, or a perfect story to be a spiritual mother.
You just need to be willing to pour out what God has poured into you.
To bring your faithfulness, your love, your presence.

This Mother’s Day, whether you are a biological mother, a mentor, a neighbor, a teacher, a sister, or a friend, remember:

The next generation needs you.

Your wisdom.Your faithfulness.Your voice.

Let’s be the generation of women who don’t just name the hard things — but also reclaim the joy, beauty, and purpose of what God has entrusted to us.

 

Sources:
¹ Barna Group, Teens and Jesus Research, 2023
² National Library of Medicine, “Mental Health Issues in Gen Z,” 2024

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Does Going to Church Make People Happier?

I’ve taught a course in graduate research methods at Eastern Illinois University for about ten years now. We meet once a week for about three hours, and we spend the first couple of weeks discussing the concept of epistemology, which is the process of how we know things. One point I emphasize is that the role of a social scientist is not to prove anything to be true. The sentence, “My analysis proves A causes B” is a complete anathema in my classroom. We always need to maintain a healthy dose of humility; no matter how strong our evidence, how sound our theory, and how appropriate our methods, we can’t really ‘know’ anything for certain in this field. 

However, one finding has become clear and compelling that needs more publicizing: people who attend religious services more frequently are less likely to struggle with their mental health. A quick search through

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Why Weekly Church Attendance Needs to Be the Norm

I don’t hear many church leaders advocating weekly worship attendance of their church members. They do not want to be legalistic.  They do not want to suggest church should come before entertainment, sports, and sleeping in. Perhaps some of them do not want to hold themselves to the same level of expectations and accountability.

It’s a mistake. A big mistake.

Before we look at the reasons why weekly church attendance should be the norm, let’s see where we’ve evolved. For simplicity, I will use only two years of data: 2008 and 2024. It is sad to see the changes in just 16 years.

The Categories

The goal of leaders should be moving church members to weekly attendance. The Core has declined from 31% of Americans to 25%. The effects of a six-point decline are major. These members who attend weekly are your church’s most faithful volunteers, givers, and inviters.

We called the monthly attendees Capricious. They are difficult to predict. Some will return to more frequent attendance, and others will move to the less-frequent categories. Their numbers are the smallest of any of the categories (10% and 7%) because they usually don’t stick here. They could move to higher commitment or lower commitment on a whim. It is important for church leaders to identify the Capricious to encourage them toward higher commitment.

Both the Casual and Conditional attendees are really church dropouts. The Casual will most likely attend on Christmas Eve or Easter. It is vital for your church to have a Christmas Eve service, the most likely time these persons will attend. I met with a pastor who refused to have a Christmas Eve service because it was his family tradition to open gifts on that day. Humbug! Move your family tradition to December 23 and reach people with the gospel.

The Conditional will only come to church typically with some life-altering event. What was the day that more Conditionals came to church in recent history? It was September 16, 2001, the first Sunday after the 9-11 attacks.

The Closed never go to church. Their attendance is rare. Many of them are second and third-generation unchurched people. Look at the numbers in the chart. The Closed grew the fastest from 2008 to 2024, a full 14 percentage points.

The Solution?

There is no silver bullet, but allow me to make three suggested strategies. First, add faithful attendance as an item in your prayer ministry. If you don’t have a vibrant prayer ministry, look at The Hope Initiative as a great starting point. Second, do your best to identify those who are Capricious (monthly) and Casual (yearly). When your church has a special event, specifically reach out to these infrequent attenders. Invite Your One is a great tool to use with a special event at your church.

Third, emphasize small groups or Sunday school classes consistently. Those who are in a group are five times more likely to be weekly attenders than worship-only attenders, and they give eight times as much as those who attend worship services only. Groups have sticky power.

Stop Apologizing for Expecting Faithful Attendance

I’ve noticed that some pastors and other church leaders are reluctant to encourage church members to attend faithfully, particularly weekly. In the words of the famous Bob Newhart, “Stop it!” The New Testament, from Acts to Revelation 3, was either written to a local church or was written about a local church. If it is that important to God, it should be that important to us.

The local church is God’s plan A for His mission on earth, and He didn’t leave us a plan B.

Weekly worship attendance should be the norm for Christians.

It’s just that important.

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An Insight I Gained from Thom Rainer almost 30 Years Ago

I was a PhD student at Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky, and Thom Rainer was the dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions, Evangelism, and Church Growth. When Thom invited me to join a research project for a book that he was writing, I jumped at the chance. 

That 1995 research project looked at 576 growing Southern Baptist churches to determine what made them evangelistic. Part of my responsibility was to tabulate the results of a survey we sent to these churches. Believe it or not, I tabulated the results by recording answers on graph paper in those days. The work was tedious at times, but the book resulting from the study, Effective Evangelistic Churches, quickly caught the attention of pastors and other church leaders. 

What most intrigued me about that study was the focus: we studied only churches that were seeing growth through reaching non-believers. The churches we studied at the time were churches that met these criteria, in Thom’s words:

We somewhat arbitrarily decided to examine only those churches whose annual baptismal total exceeded twenty-five for that year. We then determined that a church must have a baptismal ratio (resident members/baptisms) of less than 20:1. In other words, the church was reaching at least one person for Christ for every twenty members.[i] 

We have adjusted the criteria over the years in defining an “effective evangelistic church,” but the principle remains the same: we want to make sure we’re studying churches that are growing by conversion growth rather than by transfer growth. That is to say, we study growing churches who are reaching non-believers rather than only swapping sheep with other churches. 

And, that’s the insight I gained from Thom so many years ago: church growth studies must focus on studying churches that are actually reaching non-believers. These churches live on the front edge of “make disciples” (Matt 28:19) even as they typically also have intentional discipleship plans to keep those they reach. It’s simply not enough to study growing churches without asking the source of their growth. 

What might surprise you, though, is how that insight I gained almost thirty years ago has affected my life since then.

As a follower of Jesus, I continually evaluate my own evangelistic efforts. I want to be doing evangelism naturally, but I work hard to make sure I’m building relationships with non-believers, living the gospel in front of them, and speaking the gospel to them.As a senior professor of evangelism and missions (which basically means I’m an old prof), I want my students to ask, “If the church I lead is growing, are we growing by reaching non-believers or by transferring in new members?” To not ask the question is to risk getting comfortable with transfer growth.As an elder in a local church, I want my church to ask the same question. All of us need to make this question a personal one. To be Great Commission congregations, we must ask if we’re making new disciples through evangelism, baptizing them, and teaching them.

This passion for evangelism that drove Thom years ago still marks him—and consequently, it marks our Church Answers team as well. Our prayer is that we might help you gain that passion, too, if you don’t yet have it. 

Oh, and by the way, I (along with help from other Church Answers team members) am working on a new Church Answers resource that tackles evangelism like the original Effective Evangelistic Churches did, so keep watching for it!

 

[i] Thom S. Rainer, Effective Evangelistic Churches. Kindle Edition, loc. 481-511.

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Five Ways Your Church Can Use “I Am a Church Member”

Wow! 

That’s the first word that came to my mind when I saw the early sales data of I Am a Church Member. 

Perhaps better words would be “thank you” and “to God be the glory.” 

I was both overwhelmed and humbled by the early response to my book. Now, more than ten years later, I am still blown away about how God is using this book. 

But enough about my sales and me. Even to this day, I still get questions about how to use this book most effectively. Of course, many have already read the brief tome on their own. But is there a context in the church that is effective for studying this book? Absolutely! I actually wrote this book with a group context in mind. That is why I put study questions at the end of each chapter. 

For now, I have five key ways to use I Am a Church Member in your congregation. The good news is that I know of different churches already using these five approaches.

New members’ class. There is no better time to set attitudinal expectations about church membership than on the front end. I am gratified to hear of hundreds of churches already making this move. Small group study. There are six chapters and an introduction in the book. With the study questions at the end of each chapter, it is perfectly suited for a multi-week study.Gifts for guests. Two churches let me know that they give every first-time guest one of these books. They told me that it helps to share the membership philosophy as soon as possible. Leadership groups in the church. I am encouraged to hear about elders, deacons, church staff, and others coming together to study the book. One pastor sent me a post from X that said his leadership group made a decision to scrap and reinstitute their membership process after studying the book.All church members. I have been especially gratified to hear of churches that are providing the book to every church member. One pastor told me that if the book has an impact on just 10 percent of those who receive it, the church could see its greatest days ever. That statement was really encouraging.

I Am a Church Member provides a short yet poignant description of the right and biblical attitude of church members. It can be read in one or two hours, or it can be studied over several weeks. 

I really owe a great deal of appreciation to you readers. The book began as a blog post, but your responses to it led me to put it in book form. I believe I have some of the sharpest people in the world reading my articles. I pray that, in some way, this book will help you and your churches. It’s the least I can do for you.

P. S. Church Answers will soon have a full video course using this book in our upcoming release of Church Equip Curriculum. Stay tuned . . .

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Ten Things That Have Replaced Traditional Outreach in Churches Over Three Decades

When I began my journey as a church consultant in the 1980s, I had a simple but effective way to measure a church’s outreach effectiveness: I asked to see the records of home visits made in the previous month. Comparing those numbers to the church’s average attendance gave me a reliable sense of whether the church was likely to grow.

From my perspective back then, churches that knocked on more doors were more likely to grow. Even today, visiting with receptive hosts in their homes can be highly effective—but two significant challenges have emerged over time.

The Shift

The first challenge is gaining access to homes. By the late 1980s, when I was also a pastor in St. Petersburg, Florida, I noticed a shift. Gated communities and security concerns made drop-by visits increasingly difficult. The second challenge is receptivity. People were becoming less open to uninvited guests and, in some

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Deacon Selection Process: Interview Questions to Ask Before Ordination [FREE Download]

Deacons play a vital role in the church, serving alongside pastors and helping maintain the congregation’s spiritual health. While much focus is placed on pastoral leadership, deacons are no less essential to the church’s mission. No single passage outlines the exact duties of a deacon, but several themes emerge from Scripture, particularly in Acts 6 and 1 Timothy 3.

Acts 6 provides the foundational account of deacons in the early church. As the number of believers grew, so did logistical challenges, leading to disputes over the care of widows. The apostles addressed the issue by appointing deacons—those “full of the Spirit and wisdom”—to handle these practical concerns so that pastors could focus on teaching and prayer. This passage highlights three key responsibilities of deacons: solving problems, preserving unity, and promoting faith.

Problem Solvers

Growth in the church brings challenges. In Acts 6, the rapid increase in believers led to friction, requiring wise and Spirit-filled leaders to mediate and maintain order. Deacons help resolve conflicts and ensure the church functions smoothly.

Preservers of Unity

The early church faced cultural divisions between Hellenistic and Hebraic Jews. Deacons played a critical role in maintaining unity by addressing these tensions with wisdom and godliness. As 1 Corinthians 1 reminds us, Christ is not divided, and neither should His church be.

Promoters of the Faith

The work of deacons directly impacts the spread of the gospel. Acts 6:7 notes that after deacons were appointed, “the number of believers greatly increased.” By serving the church faithfully, deacons enable the broader mission of reaching people for Christ.

The Character of Deacons

Paul provides clear qualifications for deacons in 1 Timothy 3:8-13. Deacons must be worthy of respect, sincere, not greedy, and committed to the faith with a clear conscience. Unlike pastors, they are not required to be teachers, but they must demonstrate integrity, wisdom, and a servant’s heart.

Deacons are entrusted with sensitive information and must exercise discretion. They hold the pastors accountable while also assisting with administrative and financial responsibilities. Their personal lives must reflect strong faith and leadership, and they must manage their households well.

Deacons are not power holders but servant leaders. Their role is a calling, not a position of prestige. When they serve well, they earn respect and grow in faith (1 Timothy 3:13). Their ministry strengthens the church, supports pastors, and ultimately glorifies God.

In short, deacons ensure that the church remains healthy, unified, and mission-focused. Their faithfulness allows pastors to teach and lead while ensuring that practical needs within the church are met.

While churches will have differing views on the role of deacons, a vetting process should be in place before selecting them to serve. What do you ask deacons when interviewing them for the position? I’ve included several potential questions to help guide the discussion. A downloadable version is available as well.

Theological and Doctrinal Questions

Can you share your testimony of salvation and how you came to faith in Christ?How would you explain the gospel to someone who has never heard it?What do you believe about the authority and inspiration of Scripture?How do you view the role of the deacon in relation to the pastor(s) and the church?How do you interpret 1 Timothy 3:8-13 and Acts 6:1-7 in relation to the qualifications and responsibilities of a deacon?What is your understanding of the role of the local church in a believer’s life?

Character and Personal Life

How is your personal walk with Christ? Describe your daily devotional and prayer life.How do you lead your family spiritually?Are there any areas of personal struggle or temptation that we should be aware of?Do you have any unconfessed sin or unresolved conflicts that could affect your service as a deacon?How do you handle disagreements and conflicts, particularly within the church?

Church Involvement and Service

Are you currently discipling or mentoring anyone in the church?What do you believe is the most pressing need in our church right now, and how would you address it as a deacon?

Practical Ministry

How do you handle serving those in the church who have different preferences or personalities than yours?How would you minister to a church member going through a crisis, such as illness, financial hardship, or family struggles?How do you support and encourage the pastor(s) and their ministry?

Final Considerations

Are you willing to be held accountable by the pastor(s) and fellow deacons?Why do you feel called to be a deacon, and what do you hope to accomplish in this role?Is there anything in your life—past or present—that, if known, could disqualify you from serving as a deacon?

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15 Ways to Recognize and Honor Church Volunteers

Over my years of studying churches, I’ve watched for ways they recognize and honor volunteers – the folks who faithfully serve the Lord through serving in their churches. Here are some of those ways.

1. Commission them at the beginning of the year. Make a big deal about praying over and supporting volunteers, and you’ll likely have more folks ready to sign up.  

2. Write thank you notes. Few church members expect a handwritten thank you note from another church leader. Surprise your volunteers by sending a few thank you notes each week.

3. Give them a coffee gift certificate. This gift isn’t that expensive, and even non-coffee drinkers can find something to drink or eat.

4. Provide childcare for a “date night.” Most volunteers will appreciate the opportunity to spend a night out with their spouse.

5. Cater a volunteer appreciation meal. The payoff will be worth the expense if you do it well.

6. Pray for a “volunteer of the week” each week. Introduce a different volunteer weekly, and pray for him or her publicly.

7. Send birthday cards to the volunteers. I’m almost certain the card will be a pleasant surprise, as not many churches do this option.

8. Send a “thank you” note from the church staff to the volunteer’s spouse. Most of us could not do all we do were it not for spouses who support us, walk beside us, and sacrifice for us.

9. Celebrate with a “volunteer family picnic.” Give your volunteers’ families a day of fun and relaxation, and your volunteers will feel affirmed.

10. Enlist a photographer to take a family photo for each volunteer. Many families never take the time to take pictures together. Encourage them to do so with this gift.

11. Sponsor a “Christmas in ________” stocking stuffer event. You decide the month. What’s different is that the stocking is electronic, and the stocking stuffers are emails and texts of appreciation.

12. Call 2-3 volunteers a week. A handwritten note is great, but a phone call could be even better – especially in today’s world where few people use their phone to actually talk! A few verbalized words of appreciation can go a long way.

13. Have children create “thank you” pictures for their teachers and leaders. There’s nothing quite like getting a picture from a child in the church.

These latter two ideas might surprise you, but I hope they’re helpful, too:

14. Enlist a “volunteer appreciation team” who continually think about ways to say “thanks” to volunteers. Let this work become part of the DNA of your congregation, and I’ll suspect you’ll get more volunteers.

15. Always, always be praying for more laborers (Matt 9:37-38). That’s what Jesus taught us to do – and simply knowing that (1) the church has prayed for them and (2) is praying for them to have more co-laborers can be affirming.

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Monday-Ready: Training Church Members to Engage the Bible Every Day

Remember the adage about a fish?

“Give someone a fish and they’ll eat for a day; teach them to fish and they’ll eat for a lifetime.” 

I grew up in north Louisiana, where fishing is a way of life. Eating fried catfish that someone else caught is fun and delicious, but eating the one you caught is far better! There’s a satisfaction that comes with knowing you fed yourself and knowing you have the ability to do it again.

And while that idea may be important for fishing, it’s an immeasurably more important concept for how people encounter God’s Word. I depended on others to catch and serve me for many years. Learning to feed myself has been life-changing for me. 

As a church leader, the essential question is: are you merely providing your congregation with Biblical truth, or are you teaching them how to seek it out for themselves? Are you spoon-feeding them the occasional meal, or are you helping them engage with the Bible on their own every day? 

Yes, it takes a bit longer to equip your people with the tools they need to truly study for themselves, but what an exciting gift it is to pass on the skills of Bible study that help a Christian grow for a lifetime. It’s one thing to be fed by your church on Sundays. The gathering of God’s people is critically important! But it’s far greater to know how to feed yourself God’s truth Monday through Saturday. With that in mind, here’s a reminder of five critical skills your people need and one tool you can use to help them learn how to study the Bible independently.

Identify Key Genres

The Bible is inspired–every word comes directly from the Holy Spirit. However, the Bible also contains the personalities and styles of human authors. They wrote in different genres and in different times. Understanding these genres–narrative, poetry, proverb, prophecy, letter, apocalypse–helps the Bible resonate more in our lives. 

Do your people know the distinctions between each Biblical genre?

Analyzing the Context

To understand the Bible fully, we must consider the context of each book and story. This knowledge is gained by studying the origins of the words and the circumstances surrounding the books, by exploring the cultural background of the Bible—or the “cultural context”—and through the “interpretive context,” learning from those who have previously studied and taught the Bible. 

Are your people equipped to analyze the context of what they read in the Bible?

Performing a Word Study

The Bible was not written in English, so connecting the dots between our language and the original language of the Bible is crucial. A word study in the Bible involves taking a specific word from Scripture and exploring its original meaning, usage, and context to better comprehend what the biblical authors—and ultimately God—intended. It’s like zooming in on a single word to uncover its richness, nuance, and significance throughout the Bible.

Do your people know how to find the meanings of the words they read in the Bible? 

Tracing Theological Themes

Tracing theological themes in the Bible is the practice of following a significant idea—like covenant, kingdom, presence, holiness, grace, or justice—from Genesis to Revelation to see how that theme develops, deepens, and connects across the whole story of Scripture.

Think of it like following a golden thread that runs through the Bible’s tapestry. Instead of zooming in on one word (like in a word study), you’re zooming out to see how big-picture truths unfold across time, authors, and genres.

Can your people identify the major theological themes they encounter in the Bible?

Applying the Meaning

Application in our Bible study helps us connect the truths of the text to the needs of our hearts and lives. Just as there are correct and incorrect ways to take medications, we can also apply the Bible in both right and wrong ways. Applying Scripture means taking what the Bible says and living it out in real, tangible, everyday ways. It’s the step where you move from just knowing or understanding what a passage means to actually doing something about it.

Do your people know how to rightly apply God’s Word?

The Bible is the most beautiful book ever written. Within its pages, we encounter Jesus, and through the Word, He speaks to us. If the answer to any of the questions above is “no,” let’s assist your people in learning to fish for themselves! I’ve collaborated with Rooted Network to create a resource called How to Study the Bible, aimed at helping others develop the skills necessary to understand God’s Word. It’s designed for group use, teaching and practicing the skills I’ve mentioned, and more. You can download a free sample here. I’m praying it will help you assist your people in learning, personally, how to enjoy the Bible and hear from God.

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The Most Common Reasons Pastors Give When They Leave a Church

This blog and our podcasts have been a blessing to me, thanks to the insights and engagement from our readers and listeners. I learn so much from your comments on our website, social media, and emails. For example, hundreds of you have shared the decision-making processes behind your departures from a church. While the reasons vary, one theme consistently emerges more frequently than any other:

“The church has grown as much as it will under my leadership.”

But what does that really mean? In what specific areas do pastors see these limitations? I’ve asked this question on numerous occasions, and here are the most common responses:

“The church has grown as much as it will under my leadership.”

Often, a pastor will guide a church through a period of growth—only for that growth to plateau after a season. When the reasons behind the slowdown aren’t clear, the pastor concludes that it’s a personal leadership limitation.

“I am just not a good fit for this church.”

I recently encountered a case where a pastor, who was significantly culturally different from the congregation, felt that those differences made it impossible for him to lead the church any further.

“I’m spending most of my time putting out fires.”

In these situations, ongoing conflicts consume a pastor’s time and energy, leaving little room for proactive leadership. Overwhelmed by constant crises, the pastor ultimately decides it’s time to move on.

“The church has grown too large for my leadership skills.”

Some pastors assert that their churches have outgrown them. For instance, one pastor was comfortable leading a congregation of 150 members. However, within four years, the church had grown to 375, and he felt unable to manage an organization of that scale.

“The church needs to relocate, and I’m not the right person to lead them.”

This reason is often cited when a church faces major transitions, such as building new facilities or expanding into multiple sites. 

Many pastors are sincere in their belief that the church has outgrown their leadership. However, I also believe that pastors and church staff can continue to grow and learn. Not every challenge should signal the end of one’s leadership journey.

What do you think about this common rationale for pastors and church staff leaving their churches? Is it always a legitimate reason, or might there be deeper, unspoken factors at play? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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