Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 14

The New Mid-Size Church Advantages

Fifteen years ago, I wondered if mid-size churches might go extinct. Would they dwindle as people transferred into megachurches and planted new churches? The mid-size church is still here, and I’m glad I did not publish my thoughts. Now, they have several growth advantages in North America.

What is a mid-size church?

An exact definition does not exist, but most experts will use average worship attendance figures as the primary consideration. Karl Vaters offers this breakdown in his book, The Grasshopper Myth.

House Church: Less than 25 (and meeting in a house)Small Church: 25 to 200 (or under 25 meeting in a church building)Mid-Size Church: 200 to 350Big Church: 350 to 2,000Megachurch: Over 2,000

In a previous Church Answers article, my father, Thom Rainer, gave a slightly different breakdown of church sizes.

Under 50 in attendance: smaller churches51 to 99: mid-size churches100 to 249: large churches250 and above: larger churches

In a survey by Chad Brooks, he uncovers a wide view of how people perceive church size.

Small churches can be anywhere from 0 to 250Medium churches can be between 30 to 1000Large churches could have anywhere from 75 to 10,000

Why the differences between each of these categorizations?

Brooks uses perception as the primary guideline.Rainer uses statistics as the primary guideline.Vaters uses a combination of statistics and people’s perceptions.

All are valid ways of defining a mid-size church, and there are other considerations beyond mere size. For the sake of brevity, I’ll define a mid-size church in this way: A mid-size church is between 150 and 300 people on at least 3 to 7 acres with a campus large enough to accommodate everyone. These churches have an annual budget between $200,000 and $750,000.

I will concede my definition is more narrow than it is broad. It’s intentional, as I want to cover the distinct advantages of these churches. It’s also worth noting that the median church size in North America is around 65 average weekly attendees. For many, a mid-size church of 250 people would feel large.

What are the advantages of a mid-size church?

Mid-size churches are gaining in desirability among younger generations. As I wrote previously, the megachurch movement is waning with the aging Baby Boomer generation. Around 2010, at the same time I was wondering if mid-size churches would survive the megachurch phenomenon, the number of megachurches stalled. In 2010, the movement reached an inflection point with about 1,600 megachurches in the United States. Over the next ten years, up to the pandemic of 2020, the number of megachurches dropped to about 1,200. Today, the number is even less, perhaps below 1,000.

What is happening? The megachurch movement was a Baby Boomer phenomenon. They grew as Boomers came of age and transferred from smaller and mid-size churches in the 1980s, 1990s, and early 2000s. Many of these megachurches are still large, but they are much older in average age. Younger generations value proximity more than size. Millennials are the least mobile generation since the 1940s. They stay put in their neighborhoods and prefer not to drive long distances to work or the big regional church across town.

Mid-size church campuses are large enough to accommodate growth but small enough not to be overcome by deferred maintenance.

I met with a megachurch pastor a while back to discuss the future. His church had done well and was seeking the next steps.

“So, what’s next?” I asked.

“Carpet,” he replied. “We need to spend $1 million on the hallways.”

Once you get beyond 50,000 square feet, the campus can quickly become an albatross without regular—and expensive—maintenance. Growing churches with small facilities lament the lack of space. Large churches lament the costs of updating their sprawling campuses. Mid-size churches have the advantage of being a sweet spot: large enough for growth but small enough not to be consumed by the square footage.

Mid-size churches have enough people to build momentum with full programming for all ages.

A family visits your church on a random Sunday. They are new to the community. Mom has experience singing in the choir and wants more information about the worship ministry. Dad would like to connect with a small group. They have three children: one in elementary school, one in middle school, and one in high school. A mid-size church has programming for all of them, something most small churches cannot offer. Additionally, this family can talk with the lead pastor after the worship service about each of these ministries, something not likely to happen in a megachurch.

Mid-size churches typically have enough funds to afford multiple staff members.

Many small churches can only afford part-time pay (but we all know it’s full-time hours). Large churches often employ specialists to lead each ministry. When finances tighten, they must lay off staff. Mid-size churches can have enough staff to relieve the burden of the lead pastor without becoming so large you need a human resource department to manage employees. A church of 250 with a $500,000 budget can often afford three full-time staff, helping share the load. At this level, the lead pastor does not need to drop everything to address every urgent need.

Mid-size churches with good children’s programs are appealing to Millennials.

It’s challenging to grow a church without quality children’s programming. Though mid-size churches will not have all the bells and whistles of a megachurch, they can have programming and facilities that appeal to Millennial parents. The mid-size church has the advantage of connecting personally while also offering quality programs for children.

Mid-size churches can focus on the immediate neighborhood in ways a large, regional church cannot.

Big regional churches are, by design, broad in scope. These churches want to appeal to a large group of people and do not play favorites with specific schools, sports leagues, and civic organizations. A mid-size church in a neighborhood can focus on the high school next door or the park system right down the road. While large churches have greater reach in the region, mid-size churches often have greater impact in their neighborhoods.

Small churches, large churches, megachurches, house churches, and church plants all have a place in the kingdom of God. However, mid-size churches today have some distinct advantages in North American culture. Are you ready to capture the moment? If you are part of a mid-size church, what do you see where you minister?

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Leading When You Want to Quit

In a world that often prioritizes personal fulfillment and happiness, it’s easy to forget that God’s ultimate goal for us is holiness. Our culture is centered on success, recognition, and the pursuit of fulfilling our “passion,” but these things are often fleeting, influenced by circumstances and seasons. As women in church leadership, we will inevitably face seasons where we want to quit or question our calling altogether. In those moments, God is seeking something deeper than what we do or can achieve. He isn’t as concerned with our happiness as we are. God is after something deeper: our holiness.

Holiness isn’t about being perfect or reaching a certain level of success. It’s about aligning our hearts and minds with God’s will and pursuing a life that reflects His character. And let’s be honest—this journey is rarely smooth. It’s filled with ups and downs, victories and failures.

Leading Through Mundane Seasons

Many of us find ourselves in long seasons of mundane tasks and routine responsibilities. There are parts to our jobs and ministries that don’t feel particularly fulfilling or productive. Whether it’s printing handouts, putting in attendance, or setting up and taking down events, these tasks can often feel monotonous and unrewarding.

While these mundane tasks may not be glamorous or exciting, they are essential for the health and growth of our ministries. Everyone, from the most seasoned leader to the newest volunteer, has to deal with these less-than-glamorous aspects of their work. It’s how we respond to these seasons that matters.

Find joy in the small things: Look for opportunities to praise God in the midst of everyday tasks. Seek God’s graces: God is showing up in big and small ways. Keep a journal or list of how you see Him working. Mix it up: If you hate doing a mundane task, make sure you schedule in between things that fuel you. How you schedule your tasks can play a huge role in working through your day. 

Leading Through Difficult Seasons

Difficult seasons can be challenging, but they can also be powerful catalysts for growth. When faced with adversity, we are forced to confront our fears, weaknesses, and limitations. These challenges can push us to our limits, but they can also reveal our inner strength and resilience.

Embrace the struggle: Don’t shy away from difficult situations. Our limits are good and help us to rely on faith instead of ourselves. Resilience: Overcoming challenges can help us build resilience and develop a “never give up” attitude. This resilience can be invaluable in other areas of our lives.Trust in God’s plan: Often where and what we turn to in difficult situations reveals where our trust really is. We can rely on our own abilities, seek out financial security, or manipulate relationships to feel more in control and these all come up lacking. Difficulty leads to faith. 

Leading Through Failed Seasons

Failure is a part of life. Even the most successful leaders have experienced setbacks and disappointments.

Learn from your mistakes: Failure is an opportunity for growth. By analyzing our mistakes, we can gain valuable insights and identify areas where we need to improve.Confess and receive: Confession helps us acknowledge our shortcomings and seek God’s forgiveness. It reminds us that we are not alone in our struggles and that God’s grace is sufficient for us.Seek community: Surrounding ourselves with supportive and encouraging people can make a significant difference in our lives. They can offer guidance, support, and accountability, and remind us of God’s love and mission. 

Remember, God is not after our happiness; He is after our holiness. And holiness is often forged in the fires of adversity. So, let’s embrace the challenges we face, trust in God’s plan, and persevere in our faith. For it is in the crucible of difficulty that we are truly transformed into the image of Christ.

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Who and What Is the Silent Generation?

I’ve often lamented my failure to talk with my dad more frequently. You know how it is. You always think you have more time. When I was a young man in my 20s, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Even then, I thought I had more time. There were still many questions I wanted to ask him. There were still many conversations I planned to have with him.

Dad died two months after his diagnosis.

I am an old man now. I am a Baby Boomer. I love it when my sons and grandchildren ask me about the “old days” when I was younger. I wish I had been more intentional in asking my dad about his old days.

I wish I had asked Dad more questions. On one occasion, I did ask him about D-Day. His plane flew over Normandy Beach. My son has his flight plan for that fateful day of June 6, 1944. As Dad described the carnage on the beach, he paused in mid-sentence. I looked over and saw him crying. It was one of only three times I ever saw him cry.

I wish I had asked him more about his war experiences.

Dad was a progressive on racial issues in south Alabama in the 60s and 70s when few white people were. I know part of his story. His mother died when he was ten years old. His father, an alcoholic, hardly knew a sober moment after her death. My dad was essentially raised by African Americans who worked for his family.

As a consequence, I was raised in a white family in the deep South that was for equality of all races during the racial tensions of the 60s and 70s.

I wish I had asked him more about the racial issues.

Dad was part of the Silent Generation. That label describes him well. He rarely spoke of his accomplishments. Like many of his generational peers, he let his actions speak more than his words. I am convinced that Dad’s quiet personality influenced me to be the introvert I am today.

Beginning a Journey to Explore Generations

I am again taking a personal journey to describe generational influences. I plan to write about all six living generations within a few months. As a reference, the chart below shows the generation by birth years and by live births. [1]While the different generations can be defined in various ways, I look at it from a purely demographic perspective. First, I look at the live birth patterns from 1928 to the present. I designate a different generation when there is a significant change in the number of live births. Second, I do not go beyond 20 years for any one generation. Third, I use the Baby Boomer data as my key reference point since almost all demographers and researchers agree that an unprecedented baby boom occurred from 1946 to 1964.

The Silent Generation (1928-1945)

The Silent Generation, born between 1928 and 1945, is often characterized by its resilience, discipline, and a strong sense of duty. This generation grew up during a period marked by significant economic hardship, global conflict, and societal transformation. Their formative years were shaped by the Great Depression and World War II, which profoundly influenced their values, work ethic, and worldview.

What You Should Know about this Generation

There are so many things we need to learn about the Silent Generation. Here is a summary of four key issues. The summary does not do justice to the contributions they made,

Resilience in Hard Times. The Silent Generation experienced the Great Depression firsthand. This economic catastrophe taught them the importance of frugality, hard work, and perseverance. Many members of this generation grew up in households where financial stability was uncertain, and luxuries were few. This early exposure to hardship instilled a deep-seated sense of resourcefulness and resilience that would carry them through their adult lives.

World War II and Its Aftermath. World War II played a crucial role in shaping the Silent Generation. Many served in the military or supported the war effort on the home front. The war fostered a strong sense of patriotism and collective responsibility. The post-war period brought economic prosperity but reinforced traditional gender roles, with men returning to the workforce and women often returning to domestic roles.

A Focus on Stability and Security. The Silent Generation sought stability and security in the wake of the war. They valued steady employment, homeownership, and raising families in safe environments. This pursuit of stability often led them to prioritize long-term jobs with a single employer, contributing to the growth of corporate America and the development of the suburban lifestyle.

Contributions to Culture and Society. Despite being labeled “silent,” this generation made significant cultural and societal contributions. They played a pivotal role in the Civil Rights Movement, laying the groundwork for the social changes that would follow in the 1960s. Icons like Martin Luther King Jr. emerged from this generation, advocating for justice and equality.

Their Legacy

The Silent Generation’s legacy is one of steadfastness and quiet determination. They were instrumental in building modern America, contributing to its economic, cultural, and social foundations. Their experiences and values impacted subsequent generations, shaping how we view work, family, and civic duty.

You likely have some members of the Silent Generation in your church. Don’t take them for granted. There are only 19 million people in this generation living today. Based on current mortality rates, there will only be 14 million living five years from now.

Talk with them. Listen to them. Hear their stories. You and your church will be richer for it.

Next Generational Analysis: Baby Boomers

 

[1] My sources for the data in this article are three common bodies of demographic information: The U. S. Census Bureau, Center for Disease Control: National Center for Health Statistics, Statistical Abstract of the United States, and USAFacts.

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Baby Boomers Changed the World (What about Their Religious Composition?)

I often get asked to give talks to different churches, religious denominations, and parachurch ministries. I am always fascinated by what kind of topics they request. It’s a fascinating window into what Christian leaders want to know and what they think church attendees need to learn. Being asked to chart the American religious landscape has become a popular choice for me in the last couple of years. I also get asked to do a webinar or a talk about the future of American religion with a particular emphasis on Generation Z. That’s also a lot of fun because the oldest members of this generation are now in their late twenties, and many of them have reached an age where their religious affiliation is starting to solidify. 

Here’s what I never get asked: the religious composition of Baby Boomers. And I think that is kind of odd. Baby Boomers are the

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Reflections Fifty Years after My Baptism as a Believer

Fifty years ago yesterday, August 25, 1974, a pastor in southwestern Ohio baptized me as a new believer. A 12-year-old classmate had shared the gospel with me almost a year earlier, and God’s Spirit worked on my heart for all the intervening months. One week prior to my baptism, God made me His child when I gave my life to Him the best way I knew how as a 13-year-old. As I think about those life-changing days, here are some reflections that come to mind: 

I will always be grateful for that first church I attended. I had not been raised in a Christian home, but that church family quickly invited me in. Adults taught me the Word. Families invited me to lunch. Folks regularly encouraged me. In my ways, that congregation became my family – closer, in fact, than my family of origin at times. They were a gift to me.I am thankful for my baptism. My own theology is that baptism is not necessary for salvation, but that act of obedience was unquestionably a marker moment in my life. More than once in times of struggle, I’ve remembered God’s saving, transforming grace in my life—and I cannot help but think about my baptism, which was my most public profession of my young faith.I wish someone would have intentionally and strategically discipled me as a new believer. The church made a huge difference in my life, but they did not systematically disciple me. My church’s general approach was, “Come to everything we offer, and you’ll become a disciple of Jesus” – but I did not know how to connect all the dots on my own. Consequently, I struggled growing as a new believer with no Christian witness in my home.I now realize how much I took gathering as a congregation for granted. It was just the norm for me to head to church on Sunday (and other days of the week), and I did so without fear. This many years later, I know there are believers all over the world who don’t have that same freedom. They put their lives on the line to gather – but still they do gather. Fellowship is genuinely life-giving to these folks.I regret that my passion for telling others about Jesus in those early days of my Christian walk has sometimes waned. In those days, I told everybody, and I told them forcefully. I’m sure, in fact, I was obnoxious at times. Some days now, though, I have to work at building evangelism into my life—so much so that I pray almost daily, “God, give me a deep love for You that compels me to tell the gospel story.”Fifty years later, I’m more amazed by grace than ever. It was amazing to me then that God loved me enough to send His Son to die for me. Now, I’m even more amazed because I realize God called me to Himself knowing how often I would fail in the intervening years. He knew me, and He loved me anyway. I often speak of others who are “trophies of God’s grace” for me, and I pray I will be that for others in the years to come.

 God is simply gracious and good. Amen.

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Catalyst vs. Analyst: How Effective Pastors Master Both Roles in Their Churches

Effective pastors are both analysts and catalysts. Good leaders must accurately describe reality. Good leaders must create a better future. An analyst has a proper understanding of present reality. A catalyst knows what to create for a better future. The analyst helps followers understand the present. The catalyst inspires followers to move towards the future.

All effective leaders are both analysts and catalysts to a degree, but most tend to lean one way or the other. The analyst is more like a prophet, warning about the status quo. The catalyst is more of an inventor designing something novel.

If your default setting is an analyst, you will tend to spend more time assessing current reality. However, there is a downside to assessing without creating: analysis paralysis. No leader can gain enough knowledge to act with 100% certainty. Overanalyzing is one of the most prevalent reasons why church leaders do not move forward.

If your default setting is a catalyst, then you will tend to spend more time creating rather than analyzing. However, there is a downside to creating without assessing. You end up with something like New Coke, a novelty no one wants. Over-creating wears out followers. It doesn’t take long for people to figure out the leader is simply guessing at what will stick in the future.

How can you balance both? What do pastors who are both catalysts and analysts look like?

You navigate at the right pace. The analyst sees the danger. The catalyst is willing to push forward. A pastor who balances both will know how to navigate the dangerous waters of change. In the established church, pace is one of the keys to maintaining this balance. The best church leaders know how quickly they can navigate through change.

You inspire without one-upmanship. The catalyst inspires. However, inspiration detached from reality is simply a game of one-upmanship. Some church leaders get caught in the whirlpool of one-upmanship. Your church is always superior. Every Sunday is bigger than the last. Every event is better than the previous ones. Every sentence of communication has multiple exclamation points. Spiraling around feels like you’re going somewhere fast, until you realize you’re going down.

You help people solve their own problems. The analyst tells people what is wrong with the status quo. The catalyst motivates people to do something about it. A balanced church leader will equip followers to solve their own problems.

You create with a purpose. Creativity without function looks great on the wall of an art museum. There is a time and place to inspire through creativity alone. However, creativity alone is not leadership. Leadership requires creativity to be paired with purpose. A balanced church leader is both a creative catalyst and a purposeful analyst.

Leading as a catalyst is exciting. These types of leaders motivate and inspire. Leading as an analyst is informing. These types of leaders help followers understand. Your church needs you to lead as both. Equipping the saints requires the creativity of a catalyst and the understanding of an analyst.

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Eight Typologies of Pastors

One of the greatest gifts of my life is how God allows me to work with pastors. I’ve served as a pastor in four churches and was interim pastor in ten churches. In my last three organizations, I’ve had the honor of focusing much of my time on helping pastors.

I know pastors. I know their hopes, their hurts, and their hurdles. Though a few pastors hurt the witness of churches and Christians, most pastors are sacrificial, helpful, and godly. There are 380,000 Protestant churches in America, and most are led by good and godly pastors.

When I lead a church consultation or coach a pastor, I ask myself: What type of pastor is this person? My question implies that I am looking at pastors through the lens of “types” or “typologies.” After getting to know the pastor better, I often see a dominant and secondary typology. Just by knowing

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Seven Reasons We Should Encourage Our Members Not to Use Their Smartphones or Tablets in Worship Services

Several years ago, I decided to become a real church member. Let me explain.

For over 30 years, I was the preacher each Sunday at whatever church I attended. I preached as the pastor, the interim pastor, or guest preacher. I never viewed the church on Sunday mornings from the pews or the chairs. I wrote a book called I Am a Church Member, but I did not have the view of the church member, at least on Sunday morning worship services.

I decided eight years ago to decline almost every invitation to preach. I wanted to be active in my local church as a church member, not away on Sundays as a preacher in another church.

It has been an incredible blessing.

And it has been eye-opening. Let me give you one example.

I noticed several people in the church using their smartphones or tablets, presumably as a digital Bible or a digital notetaker. For those I could see from my vantage point, I also noticed that many of those with digital devices would click on the notifications they received. They were obviously distracted, and they obviously distracted me. As a point of confession, I looked over the shoulder of a church member last fall as he was looking at the college football rankings for the week. I am ashamed to say I looked longer than I should.

Recently, I went to a movie theater in my hometown. I noticed the previews stressed that everyone must turn off their phones and other digital devices.

I guess theaters have higher standards than churches in that regard.

Have I become a legalistic and grumpy old man? Maybe. But hear me out.

Frankly, I have good reasons to ask church leaders to encourage their members to turn off their electronic devices. Here are seven of the reasons.

Smartphones and tablets often distract the person looking at them. I see it every week. Rarely do I see church members looking at their smartphones without some kind of notification popping up. Of course, they can’t wait to read the notification. Smartphones and tablets often distract others. I wish I were not one of those prone to distraction, but I am. When that light on someone’s phone catches my eye, I immediately turn to it. Smartphones have addictive content that is contributing to a mental health crisis among young people. If you doubt the veracity of my claim, just do some research. For example, read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. Look at his research on how social media on smartphones is rewiring the minds of our children and youth. Look at the dramatic increase in anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide among Gen Z once they begin using a smartphone with social media access and other harmful sites. Frankly, I don’t want to give my tacit approval to the habitual use of smartphones by reading my own smartphone in church.Most churches have many options for reading the Bible or taking notes in a worship service without needing a smartphone or tablet. I encourage pastors to get pew Bibles in the translation from which they preach most frequently. The biblical text can be put on a screen. It’s easy to place a sermon outline in the bulletin. Most churches have pens in their worship centers as well. You don’t have to have a digital device even if you didn’t bring a print Bible. Writing increases retention more than using a keyboard. I was surprised again at the number of studies that proved this statement. When you take handwritten notes, you are more engaged in the sermon and retain the content more effectively. By the way, your pastor will be encouraged when several church members become notetakers. Smartphones create a sense of isolation. Again, there are several good pieces of research on this topic. Gathering for worship services is meant to be a communal experience because we are involved in shared community activities like reading our Bibles, taking notes, listening to the sermon, or singing and praising God together. The smartphone sends us into isolation rather than community. Church members communicate the wrong priorities when they use their smartphones in worship services. Even if we stay focused on the biblical text and the sermon, we could implicitly communicate to other church members that we are more focused on the phone than the God we worship.

I know we can’t mandate that members turn off phones during worship services. I also know that many churches have permitted or even encouraged it so long that reversing it will be difficult. Still, I hope you hear my concerns. I think they are real and pervasive. 

I would love to hear your thoughts, whether you agree with me or not.

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Tattoos, Marlboros, and Ministry: Lessons from My Favorite Unconventional Deacon

One of my favorite deacons had more tattoos than teeth. Herbie was the lone deacon at my first church, a rural congregation of six people. I was in my mid-twenties, serving the church bi-vocationally. The trip was two hours one way to get there. Four-wheel drive was required on some home visits. I was a terrible pastor, lacking experience, preaching skills, and maturity. I led worship, too—from an old karaoke machine. My lone deacon occasionally smoked during the service. The smell of Marlboros will forever be associated with the book of Ephesians in my mind.

One immature pastor and one rough deacon actually ended up working out. God took two negatives and made a positive. We served together. I’ll never forget the work day when Herbie decided the moth-eaten choir robes needed to go. That was one giant bonfire. We laughed together, like the time he let a few choice words fly as the auctioneer at a church fundraiser.

Most importantly, we shared Jesus together. Herbie was the linebacker of door-to-door evangelism. To this day I am inspired by his passion and amazed nobody called the cops after hearing him yell, “I know you’re in there!” at the door. Two decades later and the memories just get sweeter. I loved serving with Herbie at my first church. Our methods were poor, but our hearts were pure.

In some ways, my ministry with deacons has progressed from choir robe bonfires. In other ways, I don’t want to lose the spirit of grittiness that I learned from Herbie. My first church wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t even healthy. But we worked hard. I recently had the privilege of ordaining new deacons at my current church. I gave them specific charges to help them grow as deacons. As I wrote the ordination sermon, Herbie was on my mind. Four of these charges stand out as vital to the growth of new deacons and deacons at any stage of maturity.

Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. In Acts 6, when the Hellenistic Jews and Hebraic Jews argued over the care of widows, a group of deacons formed to help solve the problem. The result was preaching that flourished and disciples that multiplied. In order to grow, deacons must approach ministry with a problem-solving attitude. Deacons with a negative tone and a hostile posture will not grow. Negativity almost always creates problems and rarely contributes to solutions. One thing I loved about Herbie was his positive attitude. He remained optimistic regardless of the problem. In fact, the church did not hold services for two years before I came. During that time without a pastor, Herbie built a bathroom expecting growth. The new people who came two years later were grateful.

Prioritize church unity above tasks. I have fallen into the trap of making tasks more important than people. Of course, completing a task list is necessary. In most churches, deacons have a lot of things to do. They are assigned widows. They visit hospitals. They lead ministries and help steward resources. They take care of the buildings and grounds, among many other tasks. While completing tasks, don’t lose sight of their purpose: church unity. When I got frustrated about getting things done, Herbie reminded me of what is most important. The priority of serving people is to keep them together, even above getting things done.

Promote the faith, not yourself. A deacon is an officer in the church. Most deacons lead in some capacity and are almost always held in high regard. The biblical design of the role means that deacons will often know more about what is happening in the church than anyone else. In some churches, people will approach the chairman of the deacons with issues before going to the lead pastor. Herbie always heard things first. I was always second. But, Herbie never used his knowledge and connections in the church to gain authority and power. Deacons should never use their positions in the church as a platform to promote themselves. Healthy deacons promote the faith and contend for the faith.

Understand that how you treat your family is more important than what you do in the church. No one will care twenty years from now how you voted on certain motions brought up in meetings. But your children will care how you manage your home, and your wife will care if you are faithful (1 Timothy 3). Herbie’s truck was a fixture at the church. He mowed the grounds. He cared for the cemetery. He was always there. As much as Herbie loved the church, he loved his wife more. Great family men make great deacons. A healthy deacon’s first concern is for the home, not the church.

Herbie was an excellent deacon. Granted, he did not fit most churches’ mold for a deacon. However, God used him to revive a church that was all but dead. He was always part of solutions, not problems. He prioritized church unity. Herbie promoted the faith, not himself. And he loved his family. Not only did Herbie grow, but he helped a young pastor—me—grow as well.

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When Leadership Feels Impossible: The Pressure to Be Perfect

The pressure to be perfect can be a crippling weight for leaders. Society often paints a picture of leadership as a flawless pursuit, where challenges are effortlessly overcome and success is guaranteed. However, the reality is far more complex. Behind the scenes, leaders grapple with immense pressure, uncertainty, and the weight of expectations.

I have a friend, Brandy, who is the Medication Safety Officer at a local hospital. She is an incredible leader leveraging her gifts of administration and problem-solving for the community and city. In a conversation one day she was explaining to me a project she was working on for the hospital regarding its systems and procedures for patient pharmaceutical needs. She said something that has stuck with me for years now, she said, “My entire job is to create systems that catch human error. We know that it will happen and is expected, but if I do my job correctly we protect our staff and our patients, and help to make it easier to do the right thing and harder to do the wrong thing.”

This perspective was a revelation for me. In the world of ministry and leadership, we often operate under a different set of assumptions. We view leaders as spiritual superheroes, expected to have all the answers, solve every problem, and never make a mistake. It’s as if we’ve created a leadership archetype that is superhuman, void of any flaws or failures, and in current leadership conversations, I fear that the suggestion is to just prioritize rest or take a vacation, all while the system is still broken and our leaders are still drowning.

We talk so much about a definition of success and seem to only talk about failure when it’s too late. The pressure to be perfect is a heavy burden for any leader to carry. It can lead to burnout, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and a fear of failure. However, failure is an inevitable part of the human experience, including leadership. It’s not a sign of weakness but an opportunity for growth and learning.

Instead of fearing failure, we should embrace it as a natural part of the leadership journey. When we create a culture that allows for mistakes, we encourage innovation, creativity, and risk-taking. It’s in the crucible of failure that leaders often discover their greatest strengths and develop resilience.

The church, as a community of faith, should be a place where failure is acknowledged, understood, and forgiven, even for her leaders. Leaders who are willing to admit their mistakes and seek forgiveness model humility and authenticity. This creates a safe space for others to be vulnerable and learn from their own failures.

By shifting our perspective on failure, we can create a healthier and more supportive environment for leaders. It’s time to move away from the hero worship culture and toward a more realistic and compassionate view of leadership.

The Role of the Church

I once saw an image circulated by well-meaning church members describing the ideal pastor. He was to have the courage of Joshua, the wisdom of Solomon, the resilience of Job, and a heart like David, all rolled into one. The problem is that not one of the characters mentioned had all of those attributes individually. It’s a dangerous standard to set, as it ignores the inherent humanity of leadership. None of these biblical figures were perfect. They made mistakes, they failed, and they relied on God’s grace.

While the spotlight often shines on leaders, the congregation plays a crucial role in creating a healthy leadership environment. By understanding the challenges leaders face, we can offer support and encouragement. This includes:

Understanding the human element: Recognizing that leaders are human, prone to mistakes and imperfections, just like everyone else in the congregation.Acknowledging shared responsibility: Understanding that while leadership failures are significant, they often stem from systemic issues or congregational challenges as well.Fostering a culture of grace with accountability: Creating a space for open dialogue, forgiveness, and learning from mistakes, while also holding leaders accountable for their actions.Providing tangible support: Offering practical assistance, such as counseling or time off, to help leaders recharge and rebuild.Prioritizing prayerful support: Committing to consistent prayer for leaders, seeking God’s wisdom and guidance for their ministries.

By working together, leaders and congregations can create a healthier and more sustainable leadership ecosystem.

Church Leader, Embrace Your Humanity

Leaders who embrace their humanity are better equipped to lead effectively. Acknowledging weaknesses and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Building a strong team and delegating responsibilities can also help alleviate the burden of leadership.

It’s also important for leaders to prioritize self-care. This includes physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. In an often isolating and high-stress role, confession, repentance, and community are still factors for the Christian life that we have to fight for. A resource that Church Answers offers is our online community, Church Answers Central, where you can find others who are in the trenches with you and are essential for sustaining leadership.

Ultimately, leadership is a journey, not a destination. It’s about growth, learning, and serving. By embracing our humanity and fostering a supportive community, we can create a healthier and more effective leadership culture.

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