Yvette Bodden's Blog, page 6

Empowerment Series: Dominican Comedian, Writer and Producer, Glorelys Mora Shares the Tea with AW

Two of the most rewarding aspects of interviewing are the connection and inspiration that result from an exchange with a guest.

In November 2023, I attended the Morir Sonando Comedy Experience at Uptown’s United Palace in New York City. The Dominican Comedy Show offers a platform for rising POC comics and celebrates heritage. Comedian, Writer, and Producer, Gloreys Mora co-hosted the sold-out event with Sasha Merci. It was an epic moment for the Dominican community and everyone who worked to make this special night, possible. In the same year, she did the comedy circuits in New York and Los Angeles, performing at the New York Comedy Festival, and Hollywood Improv. The powerhouse is making moves and not asking for anyone’s permission.

Glorelys is a native New Yorker raised by Dominican immigrants in Washinton Heights. She is the real deal. Honest, humble, and doing the work to be the best human and perfect her craft. This vibrant Latina joined AW for an unfiltered conversation about family, the departure from the corporate world, her comedy, generational trauma, love, relationships, moving to Los Angeles, and everything in between. We connected instantly, as some of the parallels in our lives offered a sense of relatability helping the conversation flow, organically. 

Her career began in a 9 to 5 job in corporate, far from the industry she thrives in today. She spent 8 years in the advertising industry then decided to leave after getting in hot water with Human Resources for too many comments about mercury retrograde! However, she has gotten the last laugh, using life experiences to create dynamic content related to nepotism, racism, astrology, and relationships. Glorelys is also giving a voice to women who may be feeling out of place.

How is Los Angeles treating you? Honestly, I am having a great time but like any other city, it has its ups and downs. I don’t have a car which makes my experience very challenging. I know that it’s a liberal city and diverse but anything outside of New York is always culture shock because we live, differently. Being a Latino in Los Angeles makes me realize how small the Dominican population is in America but we are important. I need to continue to have the Carribean experience. Sasha is a trailblazer and someone who is creating community here, which is the reason I decided to make the move. 

You are not afraid of the hard topics in your comedy. Racism, white privilege, social injustice, micro-aggression in the workplace, the list is long! In a 2021 skit, you break down the 3 types of hoes – quiet, bougie, and dumb. In a time, where the world is so sensitive and we have a cancel culture. How do you decide what the boundaries are in your comedy? My parents wanted me to get an education and a corporate job. The expectation was to do the “right thing.” I did not have a blueprint. There weren’t a lot of resources but I knew that I had to do certain things to get ahead. Attending college, getting a job, and moving out of my parent’s home were part of their vision for me.

You can only take so much of doing the right thing before you explode. When I got into Marketing, the agencies that I was working for were very White. It was not a problem because I was taught to get the job done. However, the same things kept coming up for me at these jobs. I had to deal with comments about my hair (wet look, not straight), and some clients would not make eye contact. Only some of the issues that were encountered. One day, I just had it and didn’t care anymore about losing the six-figure job. It came to a point when I had enough. I was making the salary of my dreams and thought it would make me happy – it did not. I felt that I had to leave or I’d lose my mind.

What I love about being a comic is that you get to decide what you stand for. Of course, it’s a conversation you should have with yourself before taking the stage. I want to be honest without embarrassing my parents. If I say something, I stand behind it 100% but I try to be careful with some of the jokes. I don’t like to speak on something without doing my due diligence. Wouldn’t say something only for shock value and I’m always open to learning. This industry is such a masculine field. You have to own who you are and be confident. I’m used to being around powerful and independent women, as they’ve had to make difficult decisions, too.

As a Latina born in New York City and raised by Dominican immigrants myself, I connect with your standup. The content is real, raw, and relatable. In an interview with Ted Jones, you talked about managing internal battles and breaking cycles. It takes courage to do the work to get unstuck emotionally and mentally. When did you make your decision to start breaking cycles? In what ways did you begin to show up for yourself? I knew early on that I did not want a typical life, always questioning everything. Growing up in a Dominican culture is tough because people will go with the mainstream. If you veer off that path, you may be looked at like you’re crazy. Sometimes, I don’t feel Dominican enough and this is one of the reasons that the Morir Sonando lineup was so special. We are all Dominican and we are all different. It fills me with pride because you will find someone relatable to your unique experience. 

You are working on being a better you. In 2019, my book “A Journey to Becoming the Best Self” was published. Since then, I have learned that this is an ongoing journey. I want to continue to learn, evolve, and become more of who I am. What does a better version of Glorelys look like? Thank you for asking that question. What I went through, helped me excel to a different level but now, I am at another level. From the outside looking in people may think, “You’re killin’ it. You moved to LA. You made it!” However, this is an entirely new exploration. I know that I’m able to be outspoken but how much is too much? I feel that a better version of myself is me, really loving myself. I’m in a great place where I own my past and the decisions made. I would love to learn to love my hair, for example. Physically, my weight gain has led to a state of pre-diabetes, I’d like to get to a place of more balance. As a woman, there is so much that I’m working on, and knowing myself is key. I want to get better at writing, storytelling, and my craft.

You did a show called Spill the Chisme. I’d like to play our quickfire version of it called Dish the Tea. No overthinking, just quick responses!

Last lie you told? “I have something to do, can’t do the party.” (Sometimes, I just have to rest. Can’t do it all.)

Bistec Encebollado o Pollo Guisado? Bistec Encebollado

Behive or Swiftie? Can I be in the middle? I am not in any fan group, like both.

Morir Sonañdo or Cafe Con Leche? Morir Sonañdo because of the brand but I can’t do without my coffee!

I agree with your take on Scorpios! What is your favorite Zodiac sign? Gemini? But some Pisces are great, others not so much. Love the Pisces people, it feels like I’m hangin’ out with glitter!

We like to end AW interviews with a quote, mantra, or piece of advice for our community. In an interview, you said, “The decisions you make today, change your future.” What decision did you make this year to change your future? Let go of the love of my life. I kept putting him first and myself, last.

What is one decision our community can make today to change their future? Stop waiting for permission to do something. Leave that relationship or start that business you have been thinking about. The answers to many of your questions are on Google and TikTok. No excuses.

AW is incredibly grateful to Glorelys for sharing her story and spilling the tea with our community. We will continue to cheer her on from the sidelines! Excited for the unpredictable and amazing adventures that are to come.

I grew up believing there was a one-way street to success and happiness. Our parents arrived in the US looking for the American dream or a better future. They laid out a plan for us that in their minds, would provide lifelong financial stability. Get an education then a stable job with benefits, vacation, and a 401K. Glorelys walked away from that ideal and carved her path. I embarked on a similar journey, as a creative entrepreneur. There is no one-size-fits-all. We should do what is in our hearts. It is far from easy and could be one of the hardest things we’ll ever do but the joy of creating without limitations outweighs any uncertainty waiting on the horizon. Stories like these are a reminder of the power we have to change the course of our lives at any point in time, no permission necessary.

To learn more about Glorelys, visit Instagram and TikTok @glorelysmora 

Listen or watch AW Confidential Podcast on all streaming services. The podcast is also available to watch on YouTube.

*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Protected content. 2024 awakened-woman.com

Have You Lost Your Identity in a Relationship or Motherhood?

“Reclaiming my identity required a reboot. I wasn’t sure where to begin the process. But I knew the journey to my best self would include many questions and tasks to help untangle the mess, I made of myself. I began with these 4 basic but essential steps to begin a foundation for rebuilding. It worked for me, maybe it will help you.”

– Excerpt from ”A Journey to Becoming the Best Self”

Losing your identity in a relationship is one of the easiest things to do as a woman. Falling in love and wanting to be the best partner can lead to putting our needs last. As mothers and wives, it’s natural to have the desire to please those we love, sometimes to our detriment. There is no culpability to assign here because we do it out of love, dedication, and loyalty without asking. Happily relinquishing time, energy, and independence to build homes and relationships, in addition to raising children.

Years ago, I lost myself in marriage and motherhood. I feel grateful for having had a chance to experience an all-consuming love. Today, I have a better balancing act. The sacrifices of the past demonstrate my capacity to love. Although remarkable, it is no way to live an entire existence. I have learned nurturing the relationship with yourself is an integral part of overall wellness.

Losing my identity was not only frustrating. It became an inner struggle that I could not share with anyone. It felt as if I was on an island alone filled with shame. The inability to stand up for myself led to temporary but constant sadness. I knew I had to get out of the cycle for my sake and my child’s benefit. Being true to myself was the only way to get out of the pressure cooker, I created over time. There was no blame to pass because I designed the monster.

If you are battling with how to find yourself again after getting shuffled in the roles of life, there is good news. You can reclaim your identity at any point you decide you are ready. It is never too late to reinvent the wheel or come back home. What are the two most important things you should do to get started on this part of your journey? First, understand that you are not alone in what you are going through, this happens to plenty of women and even, some men. Let go of embarrassing feelings and guilt because this is part of the journey.

Secondly, we learn through living, therefore don’t be scared to feel. Try not to regret the things you have done. If there is something you want to do, now is a good time as any to give it a go! You find out who you are and what you are capable of, and step out of your comfort zone. Make room for activities, hobbies, and possibilities available to you. You may be surprised by what you discover about yourself during this period.

Losing ourselves, whether in motherhood or a relationship does not have to be the end all. Fight for a balance in your life. You are a whole person on your own. Someone who deserves to live a great life, a full one too. You are worthy of happiness, and there is so much joy in being living in your truth. Loved ones should see you – really, see you. More than mommy, spouse, wifey, or bae, you are a woman.

Don’t be afraid to ask yourself hard questions. As an empowered woman, you owe it to yourself to live out loud. The woman is still in there – somewhere. Go get her back!

Protected content. Updated 2024. awakened-woman.com

Photograph by The ABView Photography.

5 Books to Take You from Pumpkin-Spicy to Winter Solstice

On December 21st, many of us went into hibernation. The holiday season is behind us and cold and dark days can bring a bit of nostalgia that sometimes, results in the blues but not all is lost! Some things about the season can also bring comfort and joy.

Winters are a great time to huddle by a cozy fire with a glass of red wine, herbal tea, a warm latte, or hot cocoa with marshmallows. We feel less inclined to be outdoors, so weekend sessions of Netflix and chill are guilt-free! Soup for the Soul is in season, such a wonderful time to try out new recipes, too. Whether, you are good on skis, snowboarding, or neither, the season’s fashion certainly offers a reason to smile. For readers, this time of year gets us excited about finding books that light our inner blaze.

The writer in me is always hungry for a good read. I have been getting busy with a list that has everything from spicy, to deep, even the dark.

The Woman in Me , Britney Spears’ memoir is on the New York Times Bestseller list for a reason. The more I read, the better I understood the woman. The megastar has been in the spotlight most of her life but before receiving the title of Princess of Pop, she was just a girl from McComb, Mississippi. Perception is not always reality. This book was a reminder of how we can easily misunderstand someone’s story from the outside looking in. It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover. The author has sold over 20 million books. At one point, she held 6 of the 10 spots on the New York Times Bestseller’s list. A young woman, Lily, falls in love with a gifted neurosurgeon named Ryle. The romantic relationship takes a turbulent turn when she begins to wonder if history is repeating itself. Warning, I couldn’t put the book down after the first chapter. I immediately became invested in the main characters. Hoover, did it again! The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Lugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. The novel tells the story of Evelyn’s seven great loves, as well as, heartbreak. The fictitious character sits down for one final interview with an undiscovered journalist named Monique Grant to share the truth behind her glamorous life, spilling secrets along the way. The book has sold over 2 million copies and is expected to be turned into a Netflix film. It also won a Goodreads Choice Award for Best Historical Novel. Verity by Colleen Hoover. If you enjoy a psychological thriller then this is for you. Ghostwriter, Lowen is hired to write for a celebrated author. She got more than she bargained for when the truth behind the autobiography she is helping to write is far more sinister than she could ever have imagined. The Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros. Fans of the series, stand by the adult fantasy novel, so much that it has become a phenomenon of sorts. Don’t let the storyline fool you. It is about more than Violet Sorrengail’s quest to be a dragon rider. The story takes readers on an adventure that includes dangerous scenes, violent combat, sexual engagement, and adult language.

Do you have any interesting reads, you’d like to share with our community?

Drop a DM on my Instagram@awconfidential or Comment below!

Protected content. 2024 awakened-woman.com 

Empowerment Series: Award-Winning 4th Generation Argentine Vintner, Biologist, Physician, Author & Managing Director of Catena Zapata, Owner of Luca and La Posta Wines, Dr. Laura Catena Shares Journey to Wine with AW

If you have an appreciation for wine or enjoy a good story then this one is for you. Catena Zapata is the oldest Argentine family winery, founded in 1902. Their wines have more 100-point wine ratings than any other wine in South America. In 2023, Catena Wines was selected as the #1 World’s Best Vineyard. Among a ranking of the 50 best in the world, they stood out for their exceptional excellence. This opportunity comes around once and the winery certainly deserves the accolades earned. In January 2024, Laura Catena’s Domaine Nico Soeur et Frères La Savante Pinot Noir was named in the Wall Street Journal’s list of “Fantastic Wines We Should Know” and wine lovers everywhere are singing their praises.

Dr. Laura Catena left Argentina to establish herself in the U.S. and attended Harvard, graduating Magna Cum Laude with a medical degree. She fell in love with wine during a trip to Bordeaux, France with her father. The wine became more than a beverage, it was educational and purposeful. Laura decided to tap into her passion and help take her father’s vision of 30 years to create iconic wines. She is a 4th generation vintner and oversees the operations, as Managing Director of Catena Zapata in Mendoza. 

AW sat down with Laura for a lengthy interview. She was gracious and kind, as she shared the details of her story. We discussed her journey, her rich family history, how she managed the pivot from medicine to vintner, and lessons learned along the way. She even gave us her favorite wine recommendations!

Laura, you made the unconventional work for you. You took on some challenges by wearing different hats on this journey. Would you agree? Yes! I look back and think, “How did I manage to be a practicing emergency room doctor and run this winery?” I believe that, as humans, we rise to the occasion or at least we try, which is what I did. I never lost a shift at the hospital but there were close calls. When you are doing so many things, sometimes you tend to forget something, I have missed a few flights! 

A major challenge we encounter in business is figuring out what the world needs and then creating it. I never thought to connect medicine and wine, they are very different worlds. Can you recall your thought process, as you prepared to make the pivot? I performed at both careers for a very long time and people at the winery knew not to call me during the day when I was at the hospital. I worked at the hospital and winery for 25+ years because there was much love for both. This was unsustainable, if you run a business you know that you have to be available at all times whether on vacation, weekends, or nights. I took my time deciding because I love being a doctor but also fell in love with wine, as a consumer. I enjoyed tastings, learning the history of wine, where it came from, and the family’s story, it’s all so interesting. I went into wine to help my father but caught the wine bug. 

You took calculated risks and went where you saw a need. Among them, you used a science background to elevate wine, and books to raise awareness about the quality and character of high-altitude Argentine wine. Your current passion is teaching the wine trade and wine lovers how to drink in moderation. Why is using medicine to educate people and the wine industry important to you?  Moderation is very important. As an emergency physician, I saw a lot of alcoholism and accidents that happened because of drunk driving. One day, I approached my father and asked him “I am a little worried about our family business. How do you feel about making this thing that is good for many people but also causes some harm?” My father says, “Laurita, you have nothing to worry about. At Catena, we make fine wine and there are no fine wine alcoholics.” I think there is some truth to his statement. The more you are into the history and taste, sipping it slowly with food, the more moderation becomes part of your culture. In Argentine culture, it is unacceptable to get drunk. People tend to drink in moderation as part of the cultural norm. One of the rules at every tasting is to explain moderation and how to consume healthily.

Catena wines are among the world’s most highly rated. In a male-dominated industry, you have delivered huge wins along with your team. What has been the greatest lesson you’ve learned while working in a heavily male environment? I came into the wine industry from medicine, a profession that is coed. I was accustomed to being at the same level as men in my profession but in the wine industry, it was mostly men. My father was a big part of why, I felt supported. He grew up with a strong woman and my mom is also a tough woman who owns her own company. For my father, it was a natural choice to have me run the company. It was a novel idea during a time when there weren’t female CEOs in Argentina running wine businesses and few around the world. Circumstances today are different, there are plenty of family wineries with daughters. Oftentimes, the women are more likely interested in the family wine business than the sons. For example, the Antinori Family consists of three sisters, and it’s the women running things. 

What have you learned about yourself?  Coed groups are great, we can work well together. I like mentoring men and women but do take a little extra care with women. I try to make sure to give them everything, I can teach because they are going to encounter different experiences than men.

Women have been trained to be followers, fortunately, things are slowly changing but there is still a lot of work to do. Being the first to do anything takes faith and courage. Can you offer advice to anyone looking to transition or do something different in their life? I read a cool book about the creative process that teaches a simple technique. It can probably be used in anything you are trying to do.

Study and gather your thoughts.
Do your research.
Develop knowledge.

I carry around this book and write my ideas. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and jot ideas down. Once they are on paper, I leave it and go do something else. I may go hiking, take a vacation, and not think about it at all. Once, I get back to the ideas, then I begin putting the pieces together.

The other suggestion is to practice the thing, you think you want to do. See what the work is really about before leaving your current position. All these actions can help you figure out if this is something you are passionate about. Lastly, I’d say to make sure your heart is satisfied with what you are committing to full-time. 

AW likes to end interviews with a message, quote, or mantra. We have some wine lovers in our community. Can you offer your best or favorite recommendations for a red and white wine from Catena? 

Nicholas Catena Zapata, named after my father. It is a Malbec with Cabernet Sauvignon. This wine has the power of a Cabernet Sauvignon with the velvety tannins of a Malbec. I’d describe it as the perfect wine. It’s elegant, rich, smooth, and ages well. Great to collect, as a gift, special occasion, or for the holidays.
Catena Alta Chardonnay is a white wine with minerality from the high altitude but also has a creaminess. It is great with scallops, and risotto and has a touch of oak to make it delicious but not too much. This is a wine you can take to any party and it’s gone right away!

AW is grateful to Laura for giving us a glimpse into her journey. She is a beautiful example of what is possible when we remove self-limiting beliefs. You don’t have to be any one thing, instead unleash your limitless power. Dare yourself to do things differently, and stand out in the crowd. Nothing more fun than blazing your trail!

You can find Catena Wines in Special Total Wines, Vivino, Costco, and Wine.com. Laura’s books can be found on Amazon.com. Learn more about Laura or their family business on Instagram @lauracatenamd or @catenawines

Listen to the AW Confidential Podcast on all streaming services. You can also watch this episode AW Confidential YouTube to enjoy all the side chats during the interview.

*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Protected content. 2024 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Triple Emmy Award-Winning Journalist, Bestselling Author, TED Talk, Founder of AGanar Media, Top Latina Keynote Speaker, Gaby Natale Shares her Pioneer Spirit with AW

Gaby Natale has a long list of accomplishments under her belt. Her journey began when she decided to leave broadcast journalism and transition into creating her content. In 2018, her studio was a carpet warehouse but that didn’t mean she was thinking small. She took her show “Super Latina” from local to national television then became the only Latina to win triple back-to-back Daytime Emmys. She was named one of People magazine’s “25 Most Powerful Latinas of 2018” and since then the entrepreneur’s dreams have continued to multiply.

Gaby was the first Latina to be published by HarperCollins’ Leadership and became a bestselling author with titles like Vicious Circle, Restore Your Confidence, and Emerging Stronger. She has been featured in Forbes, CNN, Buzzfeed, NBC News, Univision, and Latino Leaders magazine. The community is consuming her content at warp speed with over 52 million views on YouTube and 250K+ followers on social media. She is also the founder of AGANARmedia, a marketing company with a focus on Hispanic audiences that serve Fortune 500 companies such as Hilton Worldwide, Sprint, AT&T, eBay, and Amazon. As a well-respected Keynote Speaker, she has been invited to top corporations such as Walmart, Estee Lauder, JP Morgan Chase, LinkedIn, Microsoft, Meta, Microsoft, Pepsico, the United Nations, and many others.

The accomplished scholar earned a Bachelor’s in International Relations and a Master’s in Journalism from the University of San Andres and Columbia University. Before her start in television, Gaby taught Communication and Journalism courses at the University of Texas.

I met Gaby in person at 2023’s Hispanic Leadership Summit at the United Nations in New York City. When she walks into a room, you can’t help to be touched by her infectious energy. Her passion for the mission shines through in her talks and the powerhouse exudes confidence while being approachable and engaging. AW sat down with her for an incredibly inspiring interview over Zoom. We discussed her journey to where she is today, her mission, Accentism, and the pioneer mindset.

You dared yourself to be the first, a pioneer. How has your work moved the world forward? I went from Argentina to the United States then Mexico where I covered border issues. My work was seen by Univision, and they brought me back to the U.S., as a News Anchor/Reporter for one of their stations. Once my green card was approved, I thought about what I wanted to do with my creative freedom. This was my driver to becoming an Entrepreneur. During that time,  there wasn’t this culture of becoming an entrepreneur or creating your own content. YouTube was barely beginning. I started uploading my content for my mom to see in Argentina. I filmed out of the carpet warehouse that the TV station allowed me to borrow since their studios were busy. I know how to recognize opportunities, they can present themselves in unsexy packaging but it doesn’t mean there isn’t a chance for growth. In 2008, we had the global financial crisis which pushed me again, to think bigger. We went from local, regional, and national to a 3-time Daytime Emmy award-winning company, and many more opportunities followed. I became a published Author with HarperCollins Leadership and am now, a Keynote Speaker. As a Latina, a woman who happens to be an immigrant, it can be very lonely in those conferences, especially for someone like me with a foreign accent.

In a 2020 TedTalk, you talked about “Accentism.” The perception that certain accents are inferior to others. Discussions around this topic are not common. People tend to assimilate to fit in or avoid being judged. You speak on this type of discrimination, candidly. You own your accent and encourage us to embrace everything that makes us unique. It’s difficult to do that when the world tells us the opposite, that the qualities that make us different are weaknesses. Change starts with one step. What should be the first to begin our shift to a pioneer mindset? Accents can happen to native speakers too, if, for example, they have an accent from the South,  the same applies. If you are someone who has English as a second language it is common to come across people who mistakenly assume that you are uneducated because English may be your second language. We have to start thinking of differentiating between not having enough language skills or command of the language versus having a foreign accent because these are two completely different things.

Regarding pioneers, I want to instill the pioneer spirit in you. The idea is that what makes you unique is different for each of us. You have your flavor of uniqueness, a gift that brings value wherever you go. Whether, it’s in meetings you attend, the workplace, or in places you are interacting with others, you bring a fresh perspective. If you mold yourself into being someone that you are not, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Your point of view with a set of experiences can bring a new outlook, and identify stories, opportunities, and wide spaces in the industry that other people cannot see. Combining the various points of view and the richness of all the experiences can help make stronger and better teams.

Plenty of people struggle with feelings of inferiority and may operate from a place of lack. It makes it hard to be what you cannot see. What steps did you take to recalibrate your belief system and become open to new possibilities? Do you believe we can do this at any age? Definitely! First, we need to reprogram how we feel and think about age. We are living longer, healthier, and more fulfilling lives. The idea that after 40, we can’t aspire to more and that life gets worse, afterward we die is very outdated. Each stage of our lives has its special place. Maybe, I’m not as toned, as I was 20 years ago but I am a little wiser and more confident. So, we need to rethink how we approach age.

It’s normal when we break barriers, and are the first or only ones in certain spaces to make the mistake of thinking that our individuality makes us inadequate. For example, we hear a lot of messaging about women in the workplace and how much we should smile. You don’t smile enough, you’re not likable. If you smile too much, then you are not going to have credibility. “No one, says that crap to a man.” So, smile or don’t smile. Cultural change takes place from the inside out and will not happen unless we own it.

The feeling of being comfortable in your skin, speaking with the accent that you have, and walking in your style is such a relief versus all the energy we use to contort ourselves to fit in boxes that are not serving us. These are energy vampires and as long as we continue to conform to them, they will not go away. We have to take steps to be the ones who change the culture.

You wanted to see Latinas represented in the media. You took a big risk by going out on your own. You felt it was the best path to creative freedom. Looking back, now that you know what you know, what is one thing you may have done differently? I think because the industry was it was, I had to do things step-by-step. Go local, regional, and national then expand to digital but while working this path, the industry changed. Of course, it’s easy in hindsight to say, I should have done this or that. I could have done something different to save time or headaches but I did things the way I was taught. The lesson is “Don’t be too rigid. Keep an open mind.” Sometimes, change happens fast. If you are paying attention, maybe you can leapfrog. I am thankful and happy for the work that has been done. Now, I can script, edit, post, and capture video because I learned to do all of it. I am never going to regret learning. We can do things differently and every journey is valid.

We like to end interviews with an inspiring quote, mantra, or piece of advice for our community. What words can you share with anyone who seeks to draw out their pioneer spirit and dare to be first?  First, do not be afraid to be visible. I have spoken to people across many organizations. The commonality found is people saying, “I went to college, I’m working hard, am consistent, and do an excellent job but do not have visibility.” Many times, people hide themselves or their skills. Don’t be afraid to be visible or share your contributions.

Making sure you are seen does not mean you are a horrible person. Sometimes, we are conditioned, as women or in the Hispanic community to be humble. As if being visible, makes you a bad person. This is not about vanity, but rather raising awareness of your contributions so that possibilities keep expanding for you. Secondly, when you are feeling uncomfortable, remember this is bigger than you. It is about breaking barriers for your community.

Gaby says, “Being a pioneer is about breaking through for all your community.” The mission is bigger than yourself. Once you shift the perspective, the hope is that you will gain the courage, energy, and determination to bring it all to fruition. The happiness won’t just be yours but for everyone else that comes after you, too!

It isn’t easy to walk into a room as yourself. The world is filled with judgment, labels, and people’s perceptions of who they think, you should be. Although it can be tempting to adapt to a persona instead of owning your uniqueness, it isn’t worth the price. Bargaining who you are to fit a mold can end up suffocating you in the end. So, whether it is an accent, hairstyle, personality, culture, or experiences, don’t be afraid to celebrate the things that set you apart. Showcase your gifts and let yourself be seen by showing pride in the greatness only you can bring to the table.

AW is grateful to Gaby for taking the time to share her story with us. We hope her story inspires you to bring the real you everywhere you go!

To learn more about Gaby, visit her LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter@gabynatale.

Listen to the AW Confidential Podcast on all streaming services. You can also watch this episode AW Confidential YouTube to enjoy all the side chats during the interview.

*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Protected content. 2023 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Founder & CEO of We Are All Human & Hispanic Star, Diplomat, Activist, Media Contributor, Public Speaker & Special Adviser to United Nations, Claudia Romo Edelman Shares Invaluable Insight

Each year from September 15 to October 15, we celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month. I take time to reflect on what it means to be Latina.  Many of our parents came to this country with expectations to do well. Part of their journey required assimilation into American society, to increase their chances of being accepted. We have heard the stories of actors like Raquel Welch, and Anthony Quinn, who Americanized their names to fit in. They hid their Latinidad in exchange for a false sense of belonging. Today, we are trending toward owning more of our Latinidad. There is more unity and pride than ever before, which is great for our community!

The Hispanic Sentiment Study of 2023 is a research project by the We Are All Human Foundation and Nielsen, powered by Toluna in partnership with Televisa Univision. One of the findings in the analysis showed that Latino pride is up from 61% to 64%. The study reflects a positive sign that we are moving in the right direction. Unfortunately, all the news is not good. Latinos are also feeling more undervalued in society and less represented.

Claudia Romo Edelman is the Founder and CEO of We Are All Human Foundation and Hispanic Star. She is a visionary leader who has 25 years of experience contributing to the global human efforts movement. The Mexican-Swiss Diplomat and Activist for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, has collaborated with organizations like UNICEF, and the World Economic Forum, serving as a Special Advisor to the United Nations.

AW had the honor of interviewing this champion of our community ahead of the Hispanic Leadership Summit and the star-studded, We Are All Human Gala in New York City on December 6-7, 2023. We had an inspiring discussion about the study’s findings, her podcast, and how we can contribute to the conversation.

This study offers valuable insight and an eye-opening view into how many Latinos are feeling. As a member of the Latino community, what was the most surprising finding for you? The Hispanic Sentiment Study 2023 is a comparative analysis of the study done in 2018. When I moved to the States, it was the first time I heard about the word “Hispanic.” I lived my entire life as a happy Mexican, now I was being referred to as Latina, unheard of.  As a newcomer working in a global environment, this was an unfamiliar word to me. I started getting curious about this new reality, particularly when I got married to an American. My life as a Diplomat was done, no more around-the-world travel. I decided to stay here and give my attention to this group I belonged to.

Once, I started looking at the data, I found that we are powerful on paper but see ourselves as weak. The first study helped us understand what was happening. The reality of the numbers seemed so different than the perception and reality on the streets of the country. This was where I found the three main things that have guided the work of the foundation for the past 5-6 years.

77% of Latinos don’t know of their contributions to the country. We cannot feel proud, if we don’t know how much we contribute, how many we are, how young we are, how much GDP we generate, or how many employers we have.90% of us identify as Latinos but we do not act as a Latino community. So, we are unaware of our contributions and all the perception of who we are comes from what the media tells us.76% of Latinos cannot be themselves at the workplace (not referenced from Hispanic Sentiment Study). You have to pretend you are one person at home and another at work.

However, there is an acceptance of Latinidad, and we are more united and proud to be Latinos as a community. While we’re coming together, the one big surprise was the disconnect from the American narrative. We do not feel we are benefiting from DE&I, furthermore, we feel invisible. The massive drop from 68% to 48% means that 1 out of every 2 Latinos is feeling this way. Latinos are more proud but feel more excluded and not represented by big brands, and media.

Latinos contribute over $2 trillion to the US GDP. We own businesses that contribute $800 billion per year to our economy. Over 70% of Latinos have a diploma and at least 20% have a college-level education. Approximately, 81% of Latinos living in the US are citizens. We are making significant contributions to society, yet the general sentiment is that we are undervalued. Seems that despite great strides, optimism is decreasing.  As someone who has their finger on the pulse, what is your perspective on the disconnect? How is it, that we are more pessimistic in the face of the achievements we have made over the past 5 years? There is an enigma, our reality is powerful but perception is weak. Our product is amazing but we are not being seen. The future of this country is Latino. Hispanics are the drivers of America’s prosperity, power, and progress. We generate 14% of the GDP of this country and should be seen as positive contributors. Latinos need to act as a whole and continue to move from a scarcity to an abundance mentality. There needs to be a change in our perception that starts with educating ourselves with our power. If we can unify forces to flip the script from stereotypes to values, biases to reality, weak to powerful, which is what we are, then we can change the way we show up.

My parents came to this country from the Dominican Republic looking for a better living. I get to create my life and sit here with you because they followed their dreams. As we start our own families and raise children of the future. How do we empower and encourage them to pursue their dreams? We owe everything to our parents. We are the generation benefiting from our ancestor’s sacrifices. We have to be the transition generation that finishes the job. It means embracing our calling and doing the job we are called to do. Start to instill the “no limit vision” in your children. Tell them to dream big because the world is theirs! When we can transmit the possibility of the future, attract allies, mentors, and sponsors, and create playbooks like my podcast A La Latina that help empower Latinas to make it to the next level, that is the moment that generates change.

You are such a big advocate for our community, empowering Latinos through your work with We Are All Human and Hispanic Star. Thank you for your commitment to us.

I read that you have been going to Davos for 26 years, about 4 years ago, We Are All Humans launched the Hispanic Promise. Can you share a bit about the Hispanic Promise? Also, have the cuts or backlash to Diversity, Equity & Inclusion (DEI) impacted or hindered your efforts in any way? This is our time. Every one of us has an opportunity to contribute. Don’t shy away from having conversations about our contributions. Ambitious goals cannot be done alone and will not be pain-free. We have to keep pushing forward. Hold hands with each other and let’s go!

I launched the Hispanic Promise with Cid Wilson from (HACR), Hispanic Association on Corporate Responsibility about 4 years ago. We created this instrument along with 29 Hispanic organizations. The instrument is a corporate pledge, national, the first of its kind. It is used to prepare, hire, promote, retain, celebrate, and buy from Latinos. Everything that was needed to create a corporate strategy for Latinos. This was very important because only 10% of Fortune 500 companies have a Latino strategy. If you don’t have this strategy you don’t invest or create programs. We have incredible donations from the University of Chicago and IBM. Now, the consulting firm Bain is making a multimillion-dollar donation to ensure it is as polished and well rounded, as possible. Companies will sign the pledge and learn how to activate it and make it a reality.

We like to end interviews with a quote, mantra, or advice to help listeners. We have discussed some of the work being done to bring our Latinos forward. Can you share your final thoughts on how we can embrace more of our Latinidad? I believe we all come with these words engrained “We can do hard things!” Know that we are resilient, resourceful, and a hard-working community. My mantra is “Take someone with you.” Understand that all the conditions are there to win this battle. It is for every Latino to be seen, heard, and valued if we support each other. Don’t give up because the hope is there.

There are many resources like the AW platform, A La Latina Podcast, the Hispanic Leadership Summit at the United Nations and the We Are All Human Gala that are examples of different ways to get involved. Support and engage with the community, and show up to be part of the change. Be part of the conversation and take someone with you, so we can all succeed! Hispanic progress is American progress. America is made up of stars and we are one of them!

AW is incredibly grateful to Claudia for sharing her knowledge and motivating us to power up. I hope you are inspired to find new ways to contribute to the change and take someone with you to help them rise!

To learn more about Claudia and her work, visit Hispanicstar.org or any of her Instagram or LinkedIn platforms.

Listen to this episode of the AW Confidential Podcast on all streaming services and watch it on our YouTube channel to enjoy all the side chats during the interview.

*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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The Women of the AW Empowerment Series

AW went live in May 2018. I have been lucky to communicate with readers all over the globe. Your messages about how these articles have encouraged you to fight for your goals, seek counseling for trauma, or empower you to ask the tough questions in your lives have made the work incredibly rewarding.

The AW community is designed for women in need of support, help, or encouragement. It exists to motivate and ease the pain of loneliness during their journey of womanhood. I am committed to continuing to inspire, empower, and encourage women to create the life envisioned. It is never easy to pursue the things we want most, especially knowing that there will be disappointments down the road. We all encounter roadblocks but persistence, drive, and determination can beat the challenges on the way to building dreams.

Sharing our stories is part of this journey, as it offers inspiration. Seeing other women thrive can be a source of strength because we see what is possible if we do the work. Everyone has their path. Conflict is bound to arise but it’s not unique to us. No matter what you are going through, know that other women are fighting their own battles, too – many in silence. Keep in mind, that behind every success there is a story.

I created the AW Empowerment Series to bring hope to all the women who cannot see past their obstacles. We have the power to create greatness but need to tap into our inner power. Do not take no for an answer or let anyone tell you that you can’t – you can, you will if you believe it.

Since 2020, we’ve had amazing women join the series. Interviews with Jaina Lee Ortiz, ABC’s Station 19, Sasha Merci, Eileen Davidson, Real Housewives Beverly Hills and Days of Our Lives,  Laura Londoño, Actress from Netflix series, Narcos and Telemundo “Cafe con Aroma de Mujer”; Lilliana Vazquez, E! Entertainment; Jolene Rodriguez, President, Broken English Productions; Jeimy Osorio, Actress, and Singer; Novi Brown, Actress from Tyler Perry’s Sistas’ Nathalie Kelley, Actress from Dynasty; Lisa Vidal, Actress from Grey’s Anatomy, The Baker and the Beauty and BET’s Being Mary Jane; Nikki Boyer, Actress, 3-Time Emmy winning Media Personality and Host, Dying for Sex Podcast; Christina Vidal Mitchell; Actress, ABC’s United We Fall; Melissa Bernstein, Co-Founder, and Chief Creative Officer, Melissa & Doug; Amelia Moran Ceja, President, Ceja Vineyards; Heather Fink, CEO, and Founder of The Sexiest Beauty; Kara Goldin, CEO and Founder; Hint Water & Author, WSJ Bestseller “Undaunted;” Alexandra Garcia, Google; Maria Trusa, CEO, Forme Medical Center; Shayla Rivera, former NASA Rocket Scientist, and Comedian; Benita Alexander, Journalist; Julissa Prado, CEO, Rizos Curls; Alexa Ray, Canadian Recording Artist; Vanessa Coppes, CEO, Bella Magazine, and Lois Robbins, Actress from TV Land’s hit show Younger and the list goes on!

The surprise guest interviews being published are meant to demonstrate the amazing things we are capable of when we don’t give up. Remember, success is not measured by the amount of money or power you possess. It is defined by the person you are, so remain true to yourself because it is the place where you will be happiest.

I hope you enjoy these special features and learn something from each woman, as you climb to the epitome of your happiness and success.

I look forward to seeing your Comments posted to AW.

Check out the AW Confidential YouTube Channel to find some of the interviews that have been shared with the community!

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Empowerment Series: Latina Comedian, Writer, Actress, Jasmine Ruiz Shares Love, Dating, and Relationships with AW

Jasmine Ruiz is a Comedian, Writer, and Actress from The Bronx, New York, who creates digital content that is relatable and authentic.  She is a proud first-generation college graduate who finds passion in encouraging others to be cycle breakers. Her online and stage skits revolve around everyday struggles and topical events. The fiery Latina is working on a pilot that is coming soon to HBO!

We met at a women’s networking event. She is vibrant, outspoken, friendly, warm, and a true girls’ girl. We hit it off instantly, bonding over good conversation and wine. Having her on the podcast was a natural choice. She was an ideal guest to have a candid conversation with, about the things we sometimes think about but may be too embarrassed to say out loud!

AW sat with Jasmine for a game of 20 questions about love, dating, and relationships. We had great questions that led to some real talk.  She is currently dating and gave us a bird’s eye view into the single life. It will be worthwhile to listen to or watch the interview and enjoy the questions she asked me, too! You won’t want to miss the hilarious antics that took place in front of the camera on this episode.

This is a feel-good moment that reminded me of how girlfriends make the world a better place. The episode was crafted to share interesting stories and insights about dating, entertainingly. We could all use some light humor from time to time! Jasmine’s willingness to answer questions for our community is greatly appreciated and was so much fun!

Are you in a relationship, dating, or love, right now? Yes, I am dating.

Have you ever walked out on a bad date? I am really lucky, I’ve never had a bad date. The Universe blesses me and whoever I am dating. If it is a bad date, I’ll let you know immediately, why it’s a bad date and make my exit.

What is your most memorable, romantic date? Good question! Recently, had a good day at the park making a scrapbook of manifestations for the rest of the year. It was a very sweet date. Not only were we making a scrapbook together but it was also about manifestation transmitting positive energy and achieving goals while enjoying the activity over drinks and cheese. 

Have you ever been gaslighted? I have gaslit myself with words that a partner said to me. I knew something was off but talked myself out of it. My thinking was “It can’t be, I must be crazy. This is not happening.” I had been lying to myself for so long and didn’t want to see the truth. Oftentimes, the longer you lie to yourself, the harder it is to stop.

I can’t say, I’ve been gaslighted but I was constantly fed justifications for things that just weren’t okay. Because it made sense, I’d shrug it off and then put my feelings on the shelf. I accepted the situation for an embarrassing number of years.

What is the greatest lesson you have learned from love or relationships? Never desert yourself because, at the end of the day, you have to sleep with yourself. In my last relationship, I abandoned myself for a while. In walking away from that relationship, I felt like I was standing up for myself and reclaiming who I am, naturally. I learned that if you are strong-willed like me, this type of situation is not sustainable. I recall withering away, sometimes physically sick, as if my inner soul was telling me a change needed to happen. There is a breaking point where you are going to have to make that life-changing decision to make yourself right, again, and sleep at night. You have to love and put yourself first. The minute I was single again, I fell in love with myself again in so many ways. I missed that piece of me that I had lost. I am really good at this moment in my life.

Has anyone ever broken your heart? I have experienced high school heartbreak. In my adult life, I had a relationship that lasted a decade – my entire 20s. He was a great person just not my person. He did not love me the way I needed him to. It took a lot of courage to leave the relationship but that was heartbreaking in its own way. I did not see the signs and do something about it. Instead, I kept trying, knowing it wasn’t right for me. It was heartbreaking that it didn’t work. I went through a period of mourning and had to give up the vision I had for the future. It can still be heartbreak, even if it’s your decision.

Has anyone cheated on you? I have never been played the way normal people do but in a high school relationship while on “break,” there was disagreement about whether or not we could date other people during that period. I can say, there wasn’t too much drama there.

Have you cheated? I cheated while in a relationship in high school but I should not have been in a serious relationship, anyway, during those years.

Have you dated more than one man at a time?  This is a tricky question because I’m dating, right now. I haven’t. Although, I’ve tried but it is a lot of work. It is hard to get a date these days, guys do not talk to me.  Honestly, it’s not something that works for me. I commend anyone who can have multiple romantic interests.

Name something you should not do if you want a man to take you seriously. I am stumped because I cannot imagine not being taken seriously! I feel that every woman deserves to be taken seriously. Worth mentioning, that not respecting a man can easily him off. He may choose the hook-up versus getting into a relationship with someone disrespectful. Respect should go both ways.

Worst advice ever given about dating? You must wait a certain amount of days before having sex. The sex advice about dating these days is ridiculous. We are in 2023 if you are judging a woman based on when she wants to have sex with you, you’re not right. You are a red flag and can exit the stage left. Women are free sovereign beings. If we give into this idea that you have to wait until the third, fifth, or seventh date then what you are feeding into is the patriarchy and losing your sovereignty. It is up to the woman to decide and understand there is a risk that he may treat her differently afterward but if that is the case then you don’t need someone like that anyway.

What does your ideal mate look like? Caring and attentive, he knows how to cater because I am a giver. I have dated takers, they deplete me. A sweet and kind man with some swag is sexy. Also, he should value other people like me and have a naturally joyous spirit.

What is your opinion about dating apps? When was the last time you swiped right? I tried recently and it failed. I’m taking a break from dating.

Name one thing you could never forgive from your partner. Someone who cheats and does not stand up for me in public and private. A man who does not have my back or does not believe in me is an absolutely, no.

Quickfire challenge! What is the first thing you think about when I say, each of these words:

Love? Energy

Dating? Dinner, I like to eat!

Relationship? Love

Sex: (Refer to the podcast for the answer) 

AW is filled with gratitude each time a guest shares their story with our community. It can be challenging to verbalize our private thoughts and then talk about them on a podcast! Jasmine owns who she is and is unapologetic about it. This feisty Latina is unafraid to tell it like it is, something that isn’t made easy for women, even in today’s modern world. We can be unfairly judged, mocked, shamed, or damned for speaking our minds. So, it’s a breath of fresh air to have an open dialogue without worrying about what the other person’s perception will be.

During our lifetime, we all experience love, dating, and relationships in some shape or form. I have learned a lot during my journey as a Writer and Host, and continue to do so. Initially, some topics would make me blush. Today, I’ve grown into the role of a conversation starter and acknowledge that there is no shame in holding conversations that are thought-provoking, encourage a new perspective, and break taboos.

One of the goals of this platform is to empower our community to be more candid when discussing hard topics. In a free society, there is no reason to restrict ourselves from addressing any issue, as long as it can happen in the right setting, intelligently, and in a sensible manner. Remember, once in a while, a little humor in life goes a long way. It can help make the subject matter less heavy, as it did in this episode. I hope that you aren’t only entertained but take the gems that were dropped and make your own opinion.

Thank you for continuing to support AW Confidential and our mission.

To learn more about Jasmine, follow her on Instagram @thejasmineruiz and TikTok@jasruiz. 

The only way to find out what questions Jasmine asked the host is to watch or listen to the AW Confidential Podcast on all streaming services. Interviews are also available on our YouTube channel.

*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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When a Woman Leaves Emotionally, Is It Just a Matter of Time?

Generally, women are more in touch with their feelings. Many of us are looking for a connection in our relationship. We enjoy mental and emotional bonding, whereas men are satisfied with their physical needs being met. There can be a tendency to find contentment with the status quo. The disparity in some couples is enough to drive a wedge between two people. Whether or not there is an admission of guilt, plenty of women make an exit for this reason and men can be oblivious to it, until it’s too late.

Wives, fiances, and girlfriends can all feel unappreciated. You are not asked how you feel, or what your dreams or needs are in life or the relationship. You take a back seat to others, sometimes neglecting personal desires. The level of selflessness taken on goes far beyond what is acceptable. The superwoman eventually becomes human. Resentment, bottled-up anger, or self-pity can creep in when you feel you are not being taken care of. Detaching yourself emotionally is often the only way to deal with negative emotions. A mental checkout is the escape route used out of loneliness or misery. This period can last as long as needed to cope.

A mental exit from a relationship may feel similar to driving on autopilot. The system manages the vehicle while quietly monitoring and repairing issues that arise. When we leave a relationship in our minds we go through the motions. Operating without demonstrating true feelings instead hiding the bad ones deep down for no one to find. The problem with boxing up these emotions? You end up with a void that cannot be filled. The longer you delude yourself into thinking it is the best solution, the deeper in denial you end up. Emotional damage experienced is serious, it can end up being the cause for a complete deterioration of your relationship. An inevitable breaking point if you don’t purge.

Women can pull away from their partners in a subtle manner. There are different ways to acquire distance silently. The stealth move may barely be noticed by an unobservant eye. The situation can last indefinitely, in some cases, so long that it’s too late to fix by the time he senses a problem.

The check-out may begin with a loss of interest in sharing. We don’t care to continue providing details of our day-to-day, it can feel like a waste of energy. Our loved one might unknowingly display what’s perceived as disinterest that shatters the heart. We fear aloof behavior, easily confusing it with rejection. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to feel loved and wanted. I’m not sure if it is pride or hurt but it does change the dynamics of a relationship over time.

A woman can create an excuse for each day of the week. Her intent to save herself from physically engaging with her mate is a major red flag. It is another step towards an imminent implosion of the couple’s foundation. Once the connection is lost between lovers it can be difficult to reinstate it. Of course, it is possible but the vessel continues to drift away from her lover’s shoreline if not given a line. It is a skate on thin ice leaving some women quite vulnerable to infidelity, loneliness, and ultimately, loss of love.

Relationships have ups and downs that are not easy to navigate. Lover’s wants and needs vary. It takes a certain level of effort to get the right balance. There will be necessary adjustments along the way but paying attention to mutual desires is extremely helpful to make it a successful partnership. If you don’t ask, you don’t get it. You must be willing to state what you want out of your partner. Men do not read minds, although, we would love to think so. Guidance can save a relationship from sinking. 

Walking out on your partner may be averted in certain situations if you open a line of honest and direct communication. Not only is it in the best interest of the relationship to speak up but yours, too. It is not fair to deprive yourself of physical or emotional needs. Let’s express instead of suppress, Ladies!

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Empowerment Series: Puerto Rican-Dominican Actress, Writer, Comedian & Author, “Legitimate Kid,“ Aida Rodriguez Shares her Truth with AW

We’ve all heard stories about the Latino upbringing. Generally, our parents tend to have overprotective practices. Abiding by their commandments is the best way to stay in good graces and out of trouble. I was raised in a relatively strict home but as we got older, our mom and dad loosened up the reigns. Despite the easing up on house rules, some things never changed.

One of my mother’s favorite sayings was “Lo que pasa en la casa, se queda en casa.” Meaning, that whatever happens at home, stays at home. She valued the truth and expected honesty from everyone, even if sharing it, hurt. However, that didn’t mean we had permission to talk about our business outside the home.

Aida Rodriguez has broken every one of my mom’s rules! “No tiene pelo en la lengua,” (No mincing of words), as mom would say. I fell in love with her content because she tells it like it is while remaining true to who she is every step of the way. I first interviewed the fearless Latina in 2021 for her comedy special “Fighting Words.” I remember walking out of her dressing room feeling, truly seen. Anyone who knows her will tell you that she is one of the real ones.

She has a new memoir “Legitimate Kid,” that promises to give you all the feels. It is a collection of essays about the ups and downs of her life. She shares the journey from personal setbacks to success and everything in between! Her book has been described as “endearing, shocking and ultimately, life-affirming.”

AW sat down with Aida for a heartfelt, genuine, unfiltered conversation. Things got real, as we spoke about each other’s upbringing, generational trauma, our mothers, colorism, and more. I am humbled and proud to share this interview with you. We hope that it empowers you to break the emotional shackles that hold you back from living a life of immeasurable greatness.

You tell your truth unapologetically, which is difficult for most people. You share it on social media, in interviews, and in your comedic skits. I have never seen you shy away from an honest answer. Has that ever gotten you in trouble? No, although with this book, I think about how it will affect my mother. I adore her, she is everything to me but I’m also entitled to my own story. I think a lot of times when we are told “Lo que pasa en la casa, queda en casa,” it was to protect other people but we were impacted by the mistakes made.

I was always a private person until “Fighting Words” when I shared the journey of meeting my father and wrote this book. I kept thinking about the younger me, they used to call me “Little Aidita.” This is me showing up for her and others, whether they are boys, girls, or nonbinary. There are many of them out there experiencing the same things, I did. I want to release them and also, a little Aidita. I’m sure my dad is not excited about the story of him getting beat up but I wanted to share the story of colorism that runs deep and I experienced growing up.

I was very gentle in this book because there was so much more that could have been shared about being sexually abused and raped. I did not include any of it in the book. There were plenty of stories spared, the focus is legitimacy. I wanted the story to be fluid and stay in line with my thesis.

You have written this memoir, “Legitimate Kid.” Can you tell us what it’s about and why you gave it this title? The journey of my book began at 8 years old when I was in 3rd grade. A girl called me a bastard because I didn’t have my father’s last name. Immediately, I could feel the shame around it because the other kids were laughing at me. This set me on a mission to explore and find out why the name-calling. Learning at the age of 12 years old about what happened broke me. I’ve been trying to put myself back together ever since.

I think many people are struggling with legitimacy and validation. It could be about your father’s last name, you being the darkest one in your family, being an immigrant, having an accent, or transitioning, whatever makes you question your validity. People are telling you that you are not legitimate – not enough. I wanted to explore this within myself, why did I feel less than or unworthy of great things? I needed to go back to that specific wound and understand where these feelings came from. It was important to tell this story and help others feel seen. Let them know, they are not alone and validation does not come from outside, it comes from within.

This book and your comedy tell so many of your truths. I wrote a memoir that was published in 2019. I understand how difficult it is to share our truth with the world. What was the toughest truth to share? If I’m honest, the hardest part of the book is sharing the stuff about my mother without demonizing her. My mother was a child when she had me. I was raised to respect and revere her. I had to find the balance between being able to say “This was wrong and not okay,” and at the same time, allowing her humanity and reality. I don’t want anyone attacking or negatively speaking of her. I will fight for her until the very end. She is the queen of my world. 

My mother and grandmother were born into trauma. This was about understanding that she made mistakes but so did I. While I was pointing a finger at her, my kids were taking notes of my mistakes. So, writing about her was the toughest because I love her so much.

Latinos, particularly Dominicans, learn from a young age that anything that happens at home or within the family is not to be shared with outsiders. You went and wrote a book about your story! Have you received backlash or pushback from any family members? No, I told my truth. This is my version of the story told from my perception. I never set out to demonize anyone but there are people in this book that did horrible things to me, and there’s no way to spin it. There is no justification for pushing a woman out of a moving car or abusing someone. All of us make mistakes but we must be accountable for what we do. I’m not concerned about pushback at all. 

I watched an interview where you shared that you lost two very important people in your life. Your uncle, who raised you and your grandmother, both within two months of each other. Around the same time you received a call from Last Comic Standing, a huge opportunity. You had to go out and make people laugh while grieving. It was one of the most difficult things that you’ve ever had to do but you believe that were with you to push you to get it done. This was the moment that everything changed for you. In that same interview, you said “The more we tell our stories, the more power, we have.” You are sharing your story with the world. What do you think your uncle and grandmother would say about this book? My grandmother was very regal. She was one of the classiest people I ever met, so classy and big on etiquette. She would say “You don’t speak on those things” but she was always the person who inspired and empowered me, anyway. So, she’d say “That’s not for me but if it’s how you’re going to do it then we gonna ride.” 

My uncle never had anyone stand up for him. Writing about him was like giving him his place. Putting him back on his throne. Society told him he was not worthy. I think he would appreciate it. They both knew how much I loved them. Anything I do is to love and help others, which is what they did. I believe they would be ok with it.

What do you hope the takeaway will be from people who read your book? I want people to be released from shame.  Shame is shackling, they are handcuffs that keep us in a place and silence us. It keeps people in a place that does not allow us to soar, where we belong. We are so weighed down by guilt and shame. It is relevant in our community of Latinos, Latiné, and Latinx who migrated from other countries. I would love people to find themselves in this story and release themselves. See how “I am all right. I did it. I’m on the other side, they can do it too.” It is my dream for people to realize they are legitimate and belong. No matter your last name, the color or texture of your skin and hair, where you came from, language spoken, or migration. You belong here, are deserving, and have been sent here to do your work. You are valuable. 

We like to end AW interviews with a quote, mantra, or advice to inspire listeners. For anyone afraid to share their truth, can you offer words of encouragement? Those who do not dare or think to use their voice in their lives? First of all, you are worthy. Oftentimes, when you feel you can’t tell your story, it’s because you don’t feel anyone will listen or care. You matter.

There are a few mantras that I use. “The Universe agrees with a made-up mind.” Once you make a decision. God, the Universe, or whatever you believe in, conspires with you to make it happen. 

“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.” – Hellen Keller. There is a fire in you that can lead to purpose. If you choose not to ignore and follow it, you never know what can happen. Do not allow yourself or anyone to make you feel small, including yourself when you feel the impulse to soar. I encourage you to fly, you deserve to be amongst the eagles.

AW is incredibly thankful to Aida for sharing her truths with us and the world. I knew going into our conversation, it was going to take all of me not to cry. I’m happy to report there were no breakdowns but moments of reflection and empowerment. Thank you, Aidita, for allowing yourself to shine and believing you could fly. We all have a scared little boy or girl inside of us. I hope that others will see themselves in our stories and build the confidence to create the life of their dreams.

In Aida’s words, “If your perception is always through the negative lens that is a miserable life.”

Let’s rise above our pain and live our truth.

To learn more about Aida, or tour dates, visit funnyaida.com. Pre-orders are important for authors, please purchase your copy from your local independent bookstore to support small businesses.

Listen to this episode of the AW Confidential Podcast on all streaming services and watch it on our YouTube channel to enjoy all the side chats during the interview.

*This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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