Josh Gunderson's Blog, page 12

And They Call it Puppy Love

I realize I have been very silent on here the last week or so. Things were a bit crazy with the race and, if I’m being honest, with the attention I received once my post about the dog in the car got around. Over the past week I’ve seen the best and worst of people and part of that caused me to want to take a step back from everything and recompose.

First I’ll offer an update since a lot of people have been asking for one.

Following my post on twitter and my blog post, the Mayor of Orlando responded and asked that I give him the details in an e-mail. This e-mail was forwarded on to the Orlando Police Department and from there a Lieutenant personally reached out by phone.

He and I had a really great conversation regarding the incident and he took the time to actually listen to me as well as explain things from their end. While he couldn’t speak for Universal Studio, he did apologize for the lack of empathy from the responding officer. He agreed that things could have and should have been handled differently.

He explained that he had reached out to Orlando Animal Control and discussed the details of the situation and everyone was in agreement that, while leaving an animal in a car for any length of time, especially to go visit a theme park, is a disgusting act- given the weather and other circumstances, it is likely that no action would have been taken.

We discussed the Orange County Law and he agreed that it is vague at best.

We talked about a lot of different things and I have notes from the whole thing. As far as we are all concerned this chapter has ended. No action will be taken against the owners who had left their dog in the car. It’s disappointing and heartbreaking, but that’s the final word.

However, I’m not done.

I have been doing some research and plan on reaching out to animal rights groups to help create better laws. I would also like to see some changes at the local theme parks. Signage not only advertising kennel services but also some warnings about leaving animals in car.  Even with windows cracked, the interior of a car can reach insane temperatures in as little as 30 minutes.

That all said, let’s talk about what else has been going on.

You can’t have a post, tweet, and facebook post go viral without the trolls coming out the play. While many people have agreed with me that the dog should have been removed and the owners fined- other’s not so much. And that’s totally fine. We all have our opinions.

But unless you were there you don’t get to Monday-morning Quarterback my decisions and actions. I did what I thought was right in that situation and I have no regrets about putting that family and those involved on blast. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I will continue to visit Universal, matter of fact I was there with friends the following day. While I wish they had handled things differently, I accept their position and policies. I hope they reevaluate them but that’s not up to me.

Then there are the trolls that have been coming for me. Things have calmed down since I haven’t responded to any of them and I haven’t allowed their comments on here to be published.

Over the past week I’ve been called mentally unstable, was told I made the whole thing worse, that I should have minded my own business and that I was just another crazy person flaunting “white privilege.”

It’s been an interesting week.

I feel like I want to say more but I’m just ready to move past all of this and get back to life as normal. Well, as normal as things could be for me.

So that’s that.

Family Leaves Their Dog In the Car at Universal Studios Parking and I’m Not Happy

UPDATE: I’ve posted a bit of an update to this whole situation in my post “And They Call it Puppy Love”

Well, ya’ll, it’s happened. I’ve become one of THOSE people. I had hoped this day would never come but here we are. I’m that guy.

You want to know something? I’m okay with it.

If you happen to follow my Twitter then you are probably up to speed with what happened yesterday while I was visiting Universal. The situation left me flabbergasted and honestly is still upsetting me even now. Hell, I just used the word flabbergasted, which should tell you something.

Okay- I’m writing this at 1am so be gentle on me but I wanted to get the details down before I forgot them but also wanted to be far enough away from the situation to not be over-emotional. I’m leaving out names because A) I don’t remember most of them and B) it’s not worth dragging extra people into this.

Yesterday afternoon I arrived at Universal where I was meeting some friends for the afternoon. When I parked and got out of my car, I noticed the car next to me had a dog locked in it. She was looking around so my best guess is that the people had recently parked and the dog was wondering why she was left in the car alone. I was wondering this as well. The windows were cracked but I was concerned.

I grabbed a parking attendant and let him know. His response was “oh dear.”

He asked me where the car was and I walked him down to it. He told me that because the windows were cracked, it wasn’t that hot and the dog wasn’t in distress, there was nothing to be done. This would become the company line for what’s to come.

I left trusting it would be dealt with but I wasn’t too sure. On my walk to the security check point I sent a tweet out to Universal voicing my concerns. I was surprised at the nearly instant response and was asked to DM information. I did but I still wasn’t satisfied. I ended up mentioning it to security and was told that they had been informed and they would “monitor the situation”.

I felt a little bit better after talking to security but still wasn’t sure. After ranting to my friends about it, I let it slip my mind so we could enjoy our evening.

The pupper re-entered my mind as we were walking back to the cars. I really hoped that the owners had just stopped in quick to do something and were long-gone. Still not great to leave a dog in a car in Florida but I was really trying to see the brighter side.

The car was still there. The dog was still there. I was pissed.

She was asleep but woke up when I approached the car and started talking to her. She was panting and obviously thirty and not happy. She was coughing and whimpering at me.

I tweeted and DM’d Universal again and was told that security was monitoring the situation.

We sat by the car for an hour and didn’t once see security. It has now been four hours since I had parked and I was beyond livid. I took pictures and posted them on Twitter. Really not something I thought I would ever do but I was pissed. I was beyond pissed.

I was advised to call the Orlando Police Department to report the car since it seemed like security wasn’t actually going to do anything. I called the police and was asked to wait by the car for an officer. He ended up coming from City Walk where there’s usually patrols. He honestly seemed more annoyed than anything about the whole situation.

He looked in the car at the dog, who was sleeping and shrugged at me. He shrugged. He freaking shrugged. Then there was that line again. The windows are cracked, it’s not that hot out and the dog doesn’t seem to be in distress. Without another word he walked away and that was it.

Didn’t take information from the car. Didn’t take our names. Didn’t do anything but shrug.

We prepared to wait it out until the owners arrived since it seemed like no one was going to do anything. Twitter was just as pissed off as I was.

Shortly after OPD walked away a security officer on a bike drove by, first time I had seen security since I went through the checkpoint four hours prior. She asked which car the dog was in. That single question pissed me off beyond belief because I am now fully under the impression that security hadn’t been there at all. She should have known. They all should have known.

She rode away without a word and returned moments later with a security supervisor.

He introduced himself to us- though I immediately forgot his name.

He looked in at the sleeping dog. Reminded us that the windows were cracked, it wasn’t that hot out and the dog wasn’t in distress. There was nothing to be done.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at either of them because I was so upset, I knew I was going to start crying. He agreed it was a crappy situation but there was nothing anyone could do. We were then told that we couldn’t hang around in the garage and would have to leave. His reasoning, “if there was a fire this level could fill with smoke in minutes.”

I have never been more confused in my entire life. For a solid ten minutes I wasn’t mad about the dog but had a lot of questions about his reasoning behind us needing to leave. Like, I still have a lot of questions. I am very confused.

We opted to walk back to City Walk and grab dinner since we were all starving but too upset to actually leave property. We settled in and ate. After about an hour we decided to head back to the cars to leave. The parks had closed so folks were heading back to their cars.

We got back to the lot to find the dog was still there. The officer on the bike was still around and lingered, mostly to keep an eye on us to make sure we weren’t hanging around. I assume because the garage was going up in flames at any moment and she didn’t want us trapped in all that smoke.

I decided I was going to leave a note on the car expressing my disgust at the owners. As I was getting prepared to jot down some kind words, we saw two people approaching. The owners had arrived. Adrenaline FLOODED my body and I was shaking with rage. I ran through a few choice things to say in my head.

The security biker approached them. I’m not sure what was said but the conversation lasted all of ten seconds and she rode away.

That was it.

I sat and shot daggers at the couple while they gave the dog the first water it had probably had in hours and then drove away.

A lot of people have asked why I didn’t say something to them. Better yet, why I hadn’t I confronted them and recorded it to post online and make viral. The reason is simple in that I’m not that kind of person. I could have said something. I could have ranted and raved but what on Earth would that have accomplished? And say it did go viral. Sure you get some 15 minutes of fame but think about my job, my book, my brand. What damage could I do to my own image for acting like that.

Instead I decided to do something.

Since getting home I’ve been researching the laws. Florida doesn’t specifically have a law about leaving animals in cars but Orange Country, where Universal is located, does. But it’s vague. Here’s the law:

“Orange County Code Sec 5-43 states it is against the law to leave a dog, cat, or other animal unattended in a parked vehicle with inadequate or no ventilation. The owner or keeper can face a civil fine for neglect of $257.00 in addition to criminal charges filed by law enforcement.”

The windows were cracked which supposedly is enough ventilation for OPD and Universal.

Other have asked why we didn’t just smash the windows and take the dog. Here’s why:

“Florida politicians passed a law in 2016 that allows bystanders to break the window of a vehicle to rescue a pet or vulnerable person believed to be in danger from the heat. Before taking that step, the bystander must have made sure the door wasn’t unlocked, contacted authorities and they must believe that the person or animal inside is in imminent danger. Signs of heat stress include panting, glazed eyes, unsteadiness and vomiting.”

Basically, since the police didn’t agree that the dog was in distress, had I broken the window, I would have been charged with vandalism.

So many people have reached out on Twitter especially those in areas where they have laws about this stuff. I’ve been researching and compiling information that I plan to take to my city officials here in Orlando and beyond if needed. We live in a state that gets hot and the weather is always unpredictable. We need better laws.

I’m also disappointed in the lack of reaction from the Police. They should have monitored the situation. They should have taken information. They should have been there to talk to the owners. But they shrugged and walked away.

Hell, I would have been satisfied if the security supervisor had been there to talk to them.

I would have been satisfied with anything more than I got which was nothing but disappointment.

So there you have it world. That was my day.

I’m sorry this isn’t a fun and uplifting post. I promise this isn’t the last you will hear of this. I’m mad and I plan on doing something about it. And I will.

I want to feel bad for my blasting Universal on social media but while I’m sure they have their policies, I feel like not enough was done and we were treated like more of an inconvenience to them than anything. Maybe everyone needs a fire lit under their butts for some action to be taken and policies made and improved.

Please.

If I Could Pretend That I’m Asleep When My Tears Start To Fall

Yesterday was a good day. Yesterday was a much needed breath of fresh air. Yesterday was a good day.

So why does today have to suck so hard?

To flashback, Ashley-Michelle and I decided that we needed something of a mental health break and just wanted to get the hell out of town for a while. Usually the two of us have something of a “date-night” once a week to just hang out and unwind. Because of our weird work schedules the past couple weeks, we really haven’t been able to get together.

I went to visit her at work Friday night when I got done and while chatting we realized we both had Monday off to hang out we decided to do something. Ashley’s one rule “I want to go somewhere I’ve never been.”

As much as I would have loved to whisk us both away to a fun day trip to New York or even Atlanta it wasn’t in the cards (why I am I not rich or sponsored by someone that wants to send me on fun trips? Where do I find these people? Is there an app for that?).

While sitting at the bar, I pulled out my phone and did some searching. God bless the internet. I managed to find a chain for “day trips from Orlando.” One popular destination seemed to be St. Augustine which is about a two hour drive away. I figured it would be good and when I mentioned it to her, she was done.

That was the extent of our planning to be honest. We figured we’d just drive up and see what happens. It turned out it was a ton of fun. We had lunch at A1A Burrito Works which was delicious. From there we drove into the heart of things, parked and acted like total tourists. We visited City Perks Coffee Co, the Pirate and Treasure Museum, Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum and finished off with a couple drinks at the Bar with No Name.

We had a lot of fun and it felt so damn good to get away and even just to get outside. I actually got some sun and felt like an actual human being for a while. I was totally prepared to write up a fun little post about the day. And then I woke up this morning feeling like absolute shit. No physically but mentally.

I’ve been sitting here for so long trying to get motivated to get going and do all the things I was hoping to accomplish for my weekend, but here I am, still in bed. I had just enough energy to get some water and grab my laptop. I’m supposed to meet Kevin for a movie later and I’m going to push myself into it though I’m no longer feeling excited about it. I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear.

If I were to sum up how I have felt about the past year, this would pretty much be it. I just want to disappear.

That’s the thought that has been running through my head ever since I woke up this morning. And worse, is the idea that if I were to disappear, no one would really care. Well, the cats would probably care because who else is going to change the litter box?

It really scares me to have these thoughts and I know, in the end, it’s just my depression trying to get the best of me but it’s become harder and harder to fight off that little voice in my head. Today that little voice was being a bitch. I’m feeling better from where I was a couple hours ago but I’m still not good.

This has been a theme.

I know I talked a little but about my struggled last year but I haven’t mentioned it since. It’s mostly because it always feels like I’m whining. I know other people have it worse and why would anyone want to keep following a blog that does nothing but whine and about a million other excuses. I also try not to write about problems I’m having with people.

Sometimes one has everything to do with the other.

I feel like I’ve lost a lot this past year. Sometimes it was for the best. Relationships that I held dear turned out to be toxic and abusive. I was being hurt and used by people who claimed to care about me. I let them go. When someone who claims to care about you, hurts you so bad that it makes you want to hurt yourself, they are not someone to keep around. So I cut that person loose. There was no fight, no text or phone call, just letting go. I didn’t owe them any explanations.

This, however, led to an interesting ripple effect and soon I lost a lot more. I lost people. My people. My family. No fight, no text or phoune call, I was let go.

Because I don’t really know what the context of any of this could be, I can only make assumptions. In the end, I’m the bad guy in the story.

We can’t always be the hero.

I’m okay with not being a hero.

I mean, I’m not particularly good with the idea of being a villain but I have no energy to fight those who want to paint me as the bad guy in their story. I’m not saying I’m okay with it, I just don’t have the energy to fight it. People can think what they want and they can believe what they want. We all have that choice.

Do I believe that I’m always and 100% a good person, absolutely not. I just don’t give a shit anymore. But not giving a shit doesn’t mean I’m not affected. I’m still affected because it still hurts. And the more it hurts me the less I give a shit. It’s a vicious cycle.

I know how bad all of this is affecting me and it kills me that I can’t do anything about it. Because it all comes down to money. Therapy is expensive and even the cheap options are too far outside my budget. One group even offered , essentially, financial aid but the total cost was still too much. My insurance through work is terrible so it covers next to nothing.

My brain is a mess and my body is right behind it and I can’t do anything about it.

For the past few months I’ve known there is something wrong in my stomach. I’m not in any sort of pain but something just feels off. I was finally able to get a doctor’s appointment for this week but had to cancel it. My co-pay for the appointment was going to be $80.

I actually laughed at the woman on the phone when she said this because I was almost certain she was kidding. She wasn’t. This visit just to simple talk to someone about what could potentially be wrong was going to cost nearly $100 and possible treatment, medication, all of that would be even more. So glad that I put so much money from my paycheck towards insurance which is still going to end up costing me.

I really have no point to any of this. Welcome to my mind. 24 hours ago I was having so much fun with my friend, enjoying the sunshine and an adventure. Today I’m wondering if any of this is worth it anymore.

I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead.

I’m Just Here For the Beads

I don’t know about the rest of you, but this week I got to ride on top of a giant gator and throw stuff at people.

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UPDATE: I have been informed that this is a TERRIBLE blog post and it lacks “important details.” I feel that this is a wonderful blog post and an accurate account of my adventures this week. Some people don’t know a good story when they read one. I can assume these same people won’t be buying my book which is now available for pre-order. I’m okay with this. But for the rest of you, I shall try again.

Tuesday night my friend Becky and I rode of top of a giant gator and threw stuff at people.

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UPDATE: I have been told that this is not much better and I can only assume you people are truly just monsters that like to watch me suffer. I shall try again. Because I’m a good person.

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My schedule for the past few months has been hectic at best and since none of my friends work normal hours either, it’s really hard to find the time to hang out. My friend Becky has been trying to lock me down as we haven’t seen each other since sometime in November.

As luck would have it, I was going to be free Tuesday night as I would be returning from a work trip right around the time she would be getting off work at Universal so we made a plan to grab dinner.

I ended end getting home sooner than expected and she got stuck in a meeting so I got to take a nap- this isn’t important to the story, but I wanted everyone to know that napping is the best.

The plan was to meet up at Universal and enjoy the Mardi Gras offering and watch some friends in the parade. I hadn’t been to Universal since my Christmas adventure with Ashley-Michelle and hadn’t been to Mardi Gras since sometime in 2017 so I was pumped.

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As I was driving into the park I got a text from Becky: “I got us wristbands to ride the float and throw beads!”

Well that sounds dangerous… to others.

One of the fun parts of Universal Orlando’s Mardi Gras is that guests can join in on the fun and ride the parade floats and toss beads as all the people below. Becky had landed us a spot on the Gator float (which according to everyone is the best) and while I was a tad apprehensive, I was also excited… despite what this picture shows…

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While we were in holding I ran into another friend, Jillian, who would also be riding a float albeit in another part of the parade. We discussed bead throwing strategy and mutually agreed that we would be aiming to see how many trash cans we could get beads into.

Turns out that this was a lot harder than we thought it would be because I can’t even begin to explain how hungry the people below were for beads. My final count ended up being 5 trash cans and 1 recycling bin. I’m pretty sure I won, Jillian never gave me her final count.

My bead throwing strategy was pretty much aiming for people who weren’t paying any attention what-so-ever and cute guys. Small children were getting plenty of attention and I wanted to tap an unclaimed market.

I’m fairly certain this will be the last time I’m invited to ride a parade float.

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Following the parade we grabbed from beignets and a beer and wandered just a bit. We decided to stick around for the Cinematic Nighttime Spectacular as neither of us had seen the new show. Turns out it’s something you only need to see once. It was cute but the water projections were a bit lacking and we could barely make anything out. Unlike the previous show, it focused more on recent family films and left out some classic Universal stuff, like monsters.

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I considered hitting up Mardi Gras again this evening but I’m having a hard time finding the energy to do much. I managed to get myself to the store but ended up leaving with the bare minimum and, since I didn’t bother to make a list, ended up without stuff I needed… so I’m going to have to go back.

I’m not looking forward to that part.

But I need trash bags.

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SIDE NOTE: Feel free to check out Mardi Gras shirts available in my shop. I know Mardi Gras is technically over for the rest of the world- but I’m not here to judge.

And Now His Watch Has Ended

Jury duty.

The words alone are enough to make you roll your eyes. It’s an oddly necessary evil that show itself once and a while and you’re forced to deal with it. A lot like family visiting for the holidays.

My younger brother and I apparently have a fine talent for getting selected to go in for Jury Duty. When I was living in Massachusetts I was called upon constantly. Only twice did I actually have to go in and both times were massive wastes.

My first time heading in for Jury Duty we were held there for the entire day. Thankfully I knew well enough to bring a book along with me and I read the entire thing. The only time I left the waiting room was when they released us for lunch. After being held hostage for the day, we were dismissed and thanked for our service.

Meaning, “thanks for letting us waste your entire day but not before making you watch really corny videos about the joys of Juty Duty.”

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The next time I had to go in was mildly terrifying because I was given badge #1. I pretty much felt certain that I was going to get sucked into having to sit on a jury and I wasn’t looking forward to it. Our day started with the horribly corny videos and just as I was settling in to start the book I had brought, we were dismissed.

I. WAS. PISSED.

There was NO REASON why they had to show us those stupid videos if they knew moments later they were going to be sending us on our way. WHO HURT YOU EVIL JURY DUTY MAN?! WERE YOU NOT HUGGED ENOUGH AS A CHILD?!

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I was in college at the time and still working nights at the grocery store. I also now had the day free having been excused from classes for Jury Duty and given the night off for the same reason. It was only 9:00 am and I could have easily headed to Salem for classes and even called work and said I’d come in to close.

I went and saw a movie and enjoyed the day instead.

Like an adult.

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Since moving to Florida I’ve been called upon a handful of times for Jury Duty and each of them I, thankfully, haven’t had to go in. It’s always a tad stressful though since you have no idea what’s going on until the night before it happens. Then you call and find out your fate.

It’s annoying.

Turns out though, it can get more annoying.

I was selected to participate in Jury Duty at a district court which is different from country court. They deal with federal stuff whereas the circuit court (which is what regular jury reports to) deal with local and state stuff.

And we have officially exceeded my knowledge of how any of this works.

I received the notice in late January that I would begin my nightmare, I mean service, in late February. There’re a handy little informational brochure the send along as well so long as your definition of helpful is that it wasn’t at all.

The notice said that I was on-call for service for two weeks. Meaning at any point during the two week period beginning on February 25th, I could be called to service. When you work in the restaurant business, this concept is barbaric. I also was concerned about finances.

If they call you in, you are paid $50 a day for your service. My job doesn’t pay for jury duty so I’d only be making $50 a day which is certainly not enough to cover my living expenses and once I figure that out, I became concerned. Early in February, I submitted my request to be excused from service citing financial hardship that would be caused even if I wasn’t called to service.

If you come at your employer telling them that there’s potential for you to have to call-out last minute for shifts, they’re just not going to schedule you.

I felt like I was up the creek without a paddle.

It felt a lot worse when they came back to me with a resounding “NO” saying that there was no legal basis for granting my request. Basically, they don’t care that I won’t be able to eat or pay bills or live.

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I was relieved when I called on the Friday before it was set to begin and told I didn’t have to report but would have to call again after 4pm the next Monday to find out about Tuesday. This was what the process was going to be for the next two weeks.

Naturally, this was a massive pain especially when it came to work. Thankfully we worked out a plan and I was kept on the schedule and we all prayed that I didn’t get called in. Then came a rather strange hiccup when a manager was transferred out of our store. As a shift leader, I was given the opportunity to step up and take on more responsibilities.

The problem was going from a bartender that may have to call out to a leader that might have to call out.

Not a pain at all.

I called the “Jury Help Line” to see what could be done about my service and possibly move it to another time that was less complicated for my job and me. I had the lovely pleasure of having to explain the entire situation to an answering machine with the promise that I’d hear back in 24-72 hours. This was helpful in that it totally wasn’t.

I would quickly like the record to show that I made that phone call on Monday February 25th and it is now Friday March 8th and I still haven’t received a call back.

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It was a relief when I called on that first Tuesday to hear that I didn’t need to call again until Friday. This meant I had the week to work without stressing what was going to happen. My Friday call went the same at the previous, saying I was good until Monday night. Monday had me calling for Tuesday and Tuesday for Wednesday.

This was annoying but at least I wasn’t having to go in. Though I started getting super paranoid that I was going to be called in on the last day and then put through to a jury and have to be held hostage by the courts for who knows how long.

Mercifully, when I called on Wednesday the message thanked me for my service and said that I was no longer needed and didn’t have to call again unless I received a new summons.

The nightmare ended.

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Now, don’t ya’ll come at me talking about civic duty and honor to serve and all that. I totally get it and I know I have the civic obligation to participate as a jury of one’s peers. Totally get it. But when something like this has the potential to put an unnecessary burden on myself.

More so, have the decency to call someone back when your little robot machine promises you will.

My thinking is that rather than having to deal with me at all they just bumped me down to the bottom of the list rather than actually having to talk to me. Between my request to be excused and my moderately rambling phone call, they probably figured I’d be the worst to have to actually deal with.

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So I’m free for now, until that evil little envelope shows up in my mailbox again. It’s probably a mistake to complain like this online. The little FBI man that monitors my life might put me on a list to be summoned constantly.

Jokes on them, I have a lot of books I still haven’t read and being locked in a room with no electronics is a freaking vacation for me at this point.

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Haters Gonna Hate… hate, hate, hate hate…

If you happen to follow me on Twitter, I’m sorry. You did that to yourself.

If you’re not following me on Twitter, you can do so by clicking here. And then do some catching up.

I’ll wait.

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My poor Twitter follows have been witness to my newfound obsession with Taylor Swift’s Reputation Stadium Tour which has been on Netflix since the end of last year. At this point, I have watched it any unhealthy number of times as it has played in the background of my writing, journaling, blogging, and general internet debauchery.

Where years ago I was not so much a fan of Taylor, she has grown on me over the years and the Reputation Tour was enough to make me bite my tongue and regret my hateful words.

As anyone knows when it comes to music the only one that truly holds my heart in her hands is P!NK.

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Many of my blog posts are titled for her lyrics and songs, she’s on constant repeat in my car and home, and I cried like a baby when her latest song “Walk Me Home” was released. For the record, I’ve listened to it more times than I’ve watch T-Swift’s concert.

Matter of fact I have both the “Funhouse” and “Truth About Love” Tours on Blu-Ray and watch them obsessively as well, dreaming of the day that I’ll finally get to see her live. Sadly, I’m missing her while she’s here in Florida this weekend and I’m trying really hard not to think about it.

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I never saw Taylor’s Stadium Tour live for a number of reasons. One of the biggest is concerts of that caliber aren’t worth it unless you’re able to get up close and personal and that would be a) expensive and b) the crowds would probably kill me. Not maliciously mind you, but it would be too stressful for me to be squished into that situation. This is one of the biggest reasons I haven’t been to a concert in ages.

For the record, I’d do it for P!NK. I just didn’t have the funds.

I’m losing focus.

Because Taylor’s tour has come to a close, the tour merchandise is available on her site for a discount and I figured “why not”. I snagged myself a hoodie and a shirt for super cheap and, as it’s been cold in Florida as of late, I’ve been wearing the sweater a lot.

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It’s gotten some remarks from people, usually in the form of a raised eyebrow.

At one point I even got a very sassy, “Taylor Swift? REALLY?!”

I stood fast, “Yeah, really.”

I take no shame in the things that bring me joy, and no one every should.

For so long when I was younger, if someone spoke with distain against something I liked, I would agree or downplay my own interest in an effort to fit in rather than stand out.

But you want to know something? I don’t care anymore.

Yeah, watching Taylor Swift on Netflix, listening to her in my car, singing her songs to myself at work- they bring me joy. They make me happy.

In a time where I have struggled to find even the smallest glimmer of light, I’ll take what I can get.

So I’m going to wear my hoodie with pride, I’m going to continue to tweet about my joy in watching her concert and I’m going to look forward to whatever comes next.

Hate on me all you want.

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Sometimes You Have To Ask Yourself: What Would Beyonce Do?

I’m sure at some point any one of us has seen those mega-viral posts from servers or bartenders where a guest has left them a tip that changes their life. I’d be lying if I said that I’ve often gone into work and had an interaction with a guest that left me wondering if today was my day.

What I like about bartending over regular serving is that you have more time to interact with your guests. This has lead to both some really wonderful and really awkward experiences. For the most part, my interactions are mostly positive and I enjoy chatting with folks.

While I’ve yet to have anyone leave a life-changing tip on my bar, I certainly do well for myself and my awkward charm is usually enough to warrant a higher than 20% tip now and then. I’ve been tipped the bill once or twice (this is when you tip the total cost of your bill in case that terminology is confusing). The best tip I ever got while bartending was $100 on a $75 check. The young couple has hung out for a few hours chatting and whatnot and were a lot of fun. I was floored by the generosity and it certainly made my night.

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But then there’s the other server posts that also tend to hit viral status. The ones where a guest is so rude or vial towards a service employee and they get blasted on the internet.

Those I have some experience in.

Kind of.

I’ve had my fair share of terrible guests both as a server and a bar tender. I’ve written a bit about them here but not too much. While my companies social media policy doesn’t forbid us from posting and writing about work- there are some limitations and I’d rather not straddle that line of what is and isn’t acceptable.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I have been writing those stories down and I’m either going to release them as a book in the future or they’ll all end up as blog posts once I’m no longer working in the service industry. Maybe both.

At any rate, I’ve had my fair share of absolutely miserable guests but last night managed to strike a nerve with me. This week Monday was my Friday and I was exhausted. I clocked in with 40 hours already under my belt and spent 90% of my night in overtime. Which sounds exciting until you realize that overtime for tipped employees just barely becomes minimum wage for real people.

Despite being exhausted, I found myself to be in a pretty decent mood. The shift started off pretty slow but with some good guests coming to the bar and hanging out. The night took a turn and just got busy but it wasn’t anything overly horrible. There were just an OBSCENE amount of to-go orders and I was back and forth between my guests, putting together to-go orders and keeping up with the service well.

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By time the rush dies down I was ready to call it quits but we still had an hour and a half left in the night. I started my closing work but kept getting interrupted by to-go orders. They seriously wouldn’t stop coming and it was driving me insane. I realized more and more that getting out right at closing time was not going to happen. The dream was there but it was dying slowly.

At about ten after ten a young woman came and sat at the bar. I was annoyed and my good-mood had pretty much left the building. The smiley and laughy Josh has made his Irish-goodbye and just wanted it to be done. The girl was soon joined by some friends- enough people to guarantee that I was going to fall even further behind on getting stuff done.

It was obvious that they had been drinking already and the one woman in the group revealed that they had come from EPCOT.

They weren’t overly terrible to start but I really wasn’t in the mood and was annoyed (as any server/bartender would be) that they had come in so late and were clearly in the mood to hang out and have fun.

I was in the mood to go home but I kept my customer service face on and entertained them with my (now) dry wit.

While most of the group was fine and dandy with the joking around, one was being a bit of a baby about the whole thing. His friends were ribbing on him and he was annoyed. While I was trying to get a drink order from yet another joiner to the party, Mr. Grumpy Gills made a comment about me under his breath. I didn’t fully hear it and I ignored him.

They wanted to order food so I went through the motions of checking with everyone on whether they wanted food. Grump was staring off into the middle distance.

“Space case, did you want to order anything.”

He ignored me. I looked at his friend seated next to him and shrugged, “guess not.”

Then Grumpy Gills was paying attention. “The fuck you say?”

I was taken aback and just kind of looked at him. I shook my head a moved on. In an effort to diffuse the situation, a few of the friends cracked some jokes, one commenting, “maybe you guys should take this outside.”

Grumpy Gills was not amused and shouted, “I ain’t going outside with his flamboyant ass. Fuck this asshole the customer service here is fucking shit.”

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I moved on to the joiner and fully turned myself away from Grumpy Gills, “anything for you.”

“Faggot has eyes for you now bro.”

Is this really what we’re doing today? Is this really how my night is going to end? Happy Monday to me.

I brought them their food and their checks and made it very clear that it was time to leave.

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The others were clearly embarrassed by the whole situation and further tried to diffuse it. I was more tired than upset and really just wanted them to leave so that I could leave. My co-worker was actually more upset by the whole thing than I was. I should have been but I was so damn tired and, frankly, I’ve been called worse.

I swiped their cards and gave them their checks. As soon as I dropped them I left the bar and waited for them to leave. I didn’t want any more awkward small talk and I wasn’t going to offer the customary send off expected of your friendly barkeep.

When I returned and grabbed their checks, I noticed that what Grumpy Gills wrote on the tip line was not a tip.

In that moment I weighed my options. I very easily could have snapped and posted a picture to post online and let the world have their way with this kid but, honestly, by time that thought crossed my mind, I had already sorted my tickets and I was feeling too lazy to go searching for it again.

For some strange reason, after his initial little freak out, the song “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child popped into my head. When he left his little comment on the slip and I had my dark internet-blasting thought, one line stood out to me from the song, “you know I’m not don’ dis you on the internet, ‘cause my momma taught me better than that.”

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I then spent my ride home listening to the Survivor album, like an adult, and very quickly got over the night. I moved on and was really just looking forward to my weekend. I actually hadn’t given the whole thing a second thought until I got into my car to run to Starbucks and Destiny’s Child blasted over my car’s speakers.

I had to laugh.

So I’m writing about it now. I don’t need to go viral, I don’t need him to be dragged, I don’t need to world to come rushing to my aid. I’m gonna do what Beyonce would do and I’m gonna be stronger, wiser and better.

I guess it’s all just a reminder to be decent and check yourself. What really ended up bothering me about the whole thing was finding out that all of them were Disney World Cast Members. I don’t expect the magic of Disney to follow them everywhere but they, of all people, should know what it means to be treated like shit by guests.

I chalk the whole thing up to him being in a shit mood and taking it out on me. Or maybe he was just an angry straight guy that didn’t like the gay guy poking fun at him.

Get over it.

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Once Upon A Time in New York City

Today, if you didn’t know, is a magical day for runners. It’s New York City Marathon Day.

Well, the marathon isn’t being run today, but it’s lottery day.

If you’re not familiar, there’s a bit of a process of singing up for the New York Marathon that involves a lot of praying to whatever deity that pleases you. There is a lottery for runners that you pay to enter. If I remember correctly (which I probably don’t) I paid $11 for my entry.

Once you’ve bought your lotto, it becomes a waiting game.

If you’re me, it’s a waiting game that you forgot that you were playing.

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2016 was a big running year for me as I ran my first marathon at Disney in January and had entered in the lottos for both Chicago and New York. In addition I was running Dark Side in Disney World, Disneyland and Avengers Half Marathons in Disneyland and a wide selection of local races and challenges.

I found out that I was running the New York City Marathon in the most hilariously stupid way possible.

Because I’m me.

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I woke up on the morning of results day, none the wiser of my selection. The order of events on results day is first they charge the card you put on file- if the card is declined you lose your spot and don’t get accepted. If the card goes through, you’re good and your status is first announced on the web site and then eventually you get an email saying that you’re in.

But that charge comes first.

So when I checked my bank account and saw a near $300 charge on my account, I freaked the hell out. The line description on the charge was something funky and I knew I hadn’t done any big purchasing in the last few days so I was in a panic.

I called my bank and went through the process of mildly freaking out. They were able to see more information than me.

“The charge is coming from New York Road Runners in New York City, does that sound familiar to you?” the operator asked in a bland monotone.

“Oh my god, OH MY GOD.”

“Sir?”

“I’m in! This means I’m in for the New York City Marathon!!” I said through tears of pure joy.

“Sir, did you authorize this purchase?” Sill monotone and not getting how exciting this was.

“I’M RUNNING THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON!!!”

“Sir. Do you want to contest this charge?” She really wasn’t getting just how exciting this was for me. I really didn’t get what she wasn’t getting about this.

“NO! I’M RUNNING THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!!!”

“Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

She really wasn’t willing to celebrate with me and for that I will never forgive her.

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Following the advice from friends, I immediately booked a hotel for the race weekend since cheap ones tend to get gobbled up quick once the lotto results start coming in.

Without even getting out of bed, I had been selected to run the New York City Marathon, booked a hotel room and my flights and was excited for the race of a lifetime.

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The funny part was, at this point, my manager had been trying for three years to get in on the race and hadn’t been selected. I got into both Chicago and New York on my first try. I texted her this morning to see if she got in this year and, sadly, she did not.

Maybe we’ll both enter in 2020 and she’ll have better luck!

Anyway, that’s my quick little story for today.

Congrats to everyone who will be running in November!!

I’d Probably Commit A Felony For My Cat Too

So the last couple days have been, for lack of articulate description, fucking shit. I went into my weekend (Wednesday/Thursday) with such excitement and hope, that I failed to see a train hurtling towards me at full speed. What sucks even more is that I can’t even post about it without potentially causing more problems.

I’m caught between a rock and a hard place and I’m not feeling too good about it because the person that put me in this position knows full-well that I had no way of coming out of it without looking like the bad guy.

I guess I’m the bad guy in this story.

I have no GIF or witty remark to offer here. I’m hurt and spent a great deal of last night crying.

The short safe version? I didn’t go to Universal with my sisters. I didn’t get to spend time with them on my only other days off while they are here and I likely won’t see either of them or my nephew before they leave this weekend.

Despite the fact that I was upset to the point of crying an hurt beyond words, I had to opt for what was best for my mental health and avoid putting myself in a situation that was guaranteed to be highly damaging and toxic.

Ashley-Michelle and Kevin came to my rescue last night through the worst of it and I’m eternally grateful for that. I was hoping to get through at least a quarter of this year without crying in public but I guess two months is a worthy record.

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Today (Thursday) I allowed myself a little bit of a sleep in and, for sure, some time to sit in bed and wallow in self-pity. I only put on pants when I was invited to something of a date involving Starbucks. I have no juicy details as we just hung out and chatted a bit and then went our separate ways.

Desperate to have some sort of control over anything, I stopped at Target and snagged up some cleaning supplies.

I then scrubbed my bathroom like a psychopath. I would have loved to have gotten more cleaning done but I really only had the mental and physical energy for the bathroom but I suppose it’s better than nothing.

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Exhausted and not willing to cook for myself I decided I’d eat my feelings in the form of sushi. I ordered way more than I should have and, damn it, I ate it all. While I was picking up my food I decided to hit Redbox to see what was available. I ended up snagged “Can You Ever Forgive Me” a lesser-known movie about Lee Israel who was an author-turned-felon when she forged letters by famous authors and playwrights to make money. Melissa McCarthy gives an amazing performance and I highly recommend it.

Now, I haven’t read the book, but I’ll admit that I just ordered it. According to the reviews, it’s really not much to write home about and if you see the movie, you’re pretty much good, but I’m curious.

It scares me how much I identified with Israel. Not just because she’s an alcoholic, gay, and a struggling writer. I mean, who isn’t?

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Nope, according to the movie version, Israel sells her first letter in an effort to pay the vet bill for her ailing cat, Jersey. At one point she even rants about loving her cat more than most people. In her statement to the judge she talks about her cat.

This hit me all on a deep level.

I would gladly turn to a life of crime if it means giving my cats a good life.

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I’ll have to keep ya’ll posted on what I think of the book if I happen to remember. The movie was really great so, if anything, check that out.

I’m going to bed now.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.

Probably not, because I have to go to work.

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Your Son Just Slapped A Mammoth

I have to admit that originally I was going to title this “Your Son Just Bitch-Slapped A Mammoth” but my blog cross-posts to my Twitter which is followed by a lot of educational professionals and I thought it wouldn’t be the best to put that on my page. I’m honestly not the type to have a bunch of different social media for different facets of my life so some small concessions have to be made. Not saying “bitch-slapped” is one of those concessions.

God I hope ya’ll are ready for a rambling post because this is not starting off well.

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I have mentioned a handful of times that I have never had the chance to meet my nephew. He was born in April 2016 while my younger sister was stationed with the air force in Japan. My schedule and bank account didn’t really give me a chance to go visit. The odds got a little better when she was moved to a base in Wyoming but, as I’ve mentioned, it’s hard for me to take time off from both bartending and touring because vacation time doesn’t exist.

My older sister, Shannon, owns a time share here in Orlando and since she is on vacation from school this week, she decided to come down and visit, inviting my little sister along. Since my brother-in-law is busy with school, Mel thought it would be a good idea to bring Oliver (Ollie) along.

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Shannon arrived in town on Saturday night and came to visit me at work. Well, she came to find alcohol and I was just an added bonus. That was an adventure in itself but that’s a post for another time.

My schedule this week was a bit funky and as a result I had Sunday off which worked out perfectly. Shannon and I went to brunch at Sugar Factory and caught up. We’ve actually been really bad about keeping in touch and we agreed to split the blame on that one.

Following a trip to Target, it was time to grab Melinda and Ollie from the airport. It dawned on me that it’s been just over four years since I have seen Mel. Last time was Christmas, pre-baby, in 2014 which is also the last time all four of us siblings were together.

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I would like the record to reflect that we were on a quest to find a liquor store in middle-of-nowhere Georgia because that is how our family survives the holidays.

I will be honest in that I was actually super nervous about meeting Ollie. I really don’t have much experience with young kids and I was worried he wasn’t going to like me. This sounds weird considering he’s barely three but I’m also a crazy person so there were a lot of emotions flying around.

Mel spotted us before we did her, mostly because Shannon and I were distracted by a very strange-looking family. I really have no words to describe them other than the dad didn’t seem to care that his shirt didn’t fit him and his stomach was hanging out all over the place.

Shannon has seen Ollie a handful of times so he immediately knew who she was. He was a bit shy when it came to me but the feeling was mutual so we were even. Shannon also has a lot more experience with kids so she was far more comfortable with him than I was. I was freaking out all over the place.

Like ya do.

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The two had been delayed coming out of Denver and were starving so we headed to Disney Springs for lunch. Shannon entertained Ollie in the back seat while Mel and I caught up as I drove. Ollie had some toy dinosaurs with him and he and Shannon were making all sorts of dinosaur noises. This got it in my head that we should go to the T-Rex Café in Disney Springs. This is essentially Rainforest Café but with Dinosaurs and every twenty minutes there’s a meteor shower.

This is really cool until you realize that it was meteors that whipped out the dinosaurs and so basically there’s a mass extinction every twenty-minutes making the whole experience just a bit morbid.

Not one to keep these thoughts to myself, I shared them with my sisters a brought the whole mood down a few pegs.

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When we first got to the Café it was super busy and I was skeptical that we’d be able to get a table. I checked the My Disney Experience App for reservations but nothing was available. Defeated, I suggested we check out the gift shop before searching for food elsewhere.

Ollie was enamored by the whole thing and was baffled when the giant T-Rex in the front of the restaurant started moving. Initially I thought he was going to freak out and start crying because, leave it to me to scar a child for life upon first meeting. He went through a range of emotions but never freaked out and ended up loving it.

When the Rex started moving again Ollie motioned for me to pick him up so he could see. At this point, I hadn’t held him at all, leaving it to Shannon and Mel. I was freaked out because I’m the clumsiest person I know and Ollie was already sporting a small bruise from having fallen at the airport that morning. I didn’t want to give him a full-on concussion.

Still, I’m a good uncle so I picked him up and we enjoyed the moving dinosaurs together. Turns out Shannon started snapping pictures of the moment. I really can’t tell who was loving the dinosaurs more.

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Wanting to give him the full experience, I went up to the podium to see what the wait was going to be. The line had completely disappeared while we were wandering the shop and it turned out we wouldn’t have to wait for long at all.

We got to our table and ordered. Ollie was in awe of everything going on around us and the two of us decided to stroll around the restaurant to check everything out. My fears about holding him slipped away when I realized it wasn’t that hard and I was being ridiculous. I did, however, learn that I have to pay attention when holding him because I repeatedly hit random strangers with his feet as we walked around.

As we walked through the ice cave we came across a baby wooly mammoth who was moving his trunk all over. Ollie reached out, wanting to pet him. I was hesitant because I was pretty sure we weren’t supposed to touch it but the kid was so damn cute I couldn’t say no. I moved him close enough to pet it’s trunk and the mammoth made a quick move that startled both of us. Ollie reacted in the best way possible, by bitch-slapping the thing.

I quickly walked the two of us away from the thing while doing my best not to laugh too hard.

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After lunch we decided to walk around Springs a bit to check things out. We had decided that Ollie was too young for the parks, especially since it’s going to be busy this week. I really, now, want nothing more than to take him to Disney but I know it’ll be more of a pain than it’s worth. I told Mel she needs to start planning to come back in the off season. Maybe for his birthday!

Ollie stayed with me while we walked and I learned how truly heavy an almost three-year-old is. I didn’t mind since it was fun walking him around the stores as he asked me to identify Disney characters. I had sent him a ton of Disney stuffed animals for Christmas including a Donald Duck (my favorite) so he was well versed.

All said and done, it was wonderful to finally meet him and to be able to catch up with my sisters. We’re heading to Universal this afternoon for a big-kid day in the parks. I’m really tempted to tell them we should bring Ollie but I know it wouldn’t be fun. Neither Shannon or Mel has been to Universal and with Mardi Gras going on, we’re going to want to have some drinks and have fun and that’s a bit tough with a toddler.

I have Thursday off as well so the four of us might go on another adventure around Orlando. Or I’ll just kidnap Ollie and take him to Hollywood Studios. I really can’t wait to take him to Disney. Though it might be mean for his first trip to not involve his parents.

Either way, I feel like I could really get used to this uncle thing.

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