Josh Gunderson's Blog, page 10

There is Nothing Worse than Me Right after Booking a Cruise

So does anyone else just have a full on mental breakdown and book a cruise? Nope? Just me? That’s cool.

The conversation with Ashley-Michelle on January 15th when I woke her up with a phone call:

ME: Okay, I’m having a meltdown, do you think you’ll have cruise money by this deadline?

HER: Yeah, for sure.

ME: Okay cool because I already booked us on this cruise leaving May 18th.

HER: Okay.

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We are currently 96 days away from our sailing date and it’s becoming very obvious to me that everyone in my life is already sick of hearing about my trip. I have a feeling that it’s because I have no stopped talking about it since I hit the “BOOK” button.

Despite my countdown, I’ve actually been pretty quiet but I just booked our drink package (always get the drink package) and some other minor things for our trip and now my excitement is revitalized. It has been a particularly shitty week (more on that to come eventually) and I need something to keep my head above water. So I snagged a deal on stuff.

Of course, now I’m trying to convince my sister that we need to cruise together again in August since there’s some decently priced trips then. Maybe Ashley-Michelle and I will just go again. Who knows. I’ve got a savings account dedicated to my next cruise. They usually offer pretty good deals if you book on the ship so we might do that. And by “might” I mean we already have a sailing in mind that we want to book in January of next year.

Adulting.

So I guess the moral of this story is… be prepared for a lot of posts about cruising because lord knows I’m addicted and super annoying about it!

My Cat Is Prettier Than I’ll Ever Be

I’m not going to say my cats are useless because they are actually pretty good at… being cats. I mean each of them is a wonderful cuddle-buddy on those cold and lonely nights. They’re always around the make me laugh (Guinness is often terrible at jumping onto counters and is notorious for the jumping headfirst into cabinets).

Lemon is particularly unhelpful when it comes to cleaning. Like I mentioned, I spent Sunday working around the house and Lemon tried to help by constantly being in my way. She’s good like that.

At one point I was sitting on the floor in the corner of my room- for no real reason, that’s just where I ended up- Lemon was sitting on my bed. I should mention that she was a pain in the ass during the whole bed-making process. What the hell is it with cats just HAVING to be on the bed while you are putting on sheets and then getting pissed when you throw a blanket over them because they refuse to move… cats are weird.

But then she started being cute and fell asleep and naturally I took a ton a photos for the world to enjoy so… you’re welcome world:

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I Think I’ve Run out Of Things to Say

Yesterday was a welcome break from life in that I finally had a day off. This working two jobs thing is getting really exhausting. Granted, I’ve pretty much got my schedule set up in a way that I have weekends off but the last two weeks and the ones coming up have me coming in on one weekend day so I’m tired.

To kind of recap from last year. I ended up getting a full time job working as a social media manager for an establishment here in Orlando. It has been an absolute blast but it doesn’t fully pay the bills right now. As a result I am still bartending a few nights a week.

And you’re caught up.

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I am still travelling and speaking at schools here and there but it has certainly fallen off the past couple years are schools are spending less and less on outside resources. It’s a bummer but it has given me timer to focus on other projects and whatnot.

I have to say that I have been marinating on my second book. I’m just on the struggle bus when it comes to stories.

Which leads me to this post.

Yesterday I had the day off and spent most of it cleaning. I have solved the mystery of my missing bedroom floor- it was under all the clothes.

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Once I had had enough of cleaning, I was like “I should write a blog post!” And then I realized I had absolutely nothing to write about. What the hell is interesting about the fact that I finally took down my Christmas decorations… on January 26th.

I sat on my, now very clean, bed and puzzled over what to do. So I ordered a pizza and watched 10 Things I hate About You on Disney+.

So basically I’ve got writer’s block but for life… I just need to go do something interesting maybe?

Who knows.

I’m sorry this post has wasted everyone’s time.

The Lizards are Falling! The Lizards are Falling!

If there was one thing to sum up my entire life mood as of late, it would be a very legitimate warning issued to us here in Florida this morning by the national weather service: “Falling Iguanas Possible Tonight.”

I could explain my blogging absence these past few months and go into grand detail about I had a nervous breakdown when it came to social media and abandoned all hope for a short period of time. I was more active of twitter than I ever realty have been by Facebook, Instagram and my blog were left to gather dust—but that’s not as fun as falling iguanas.

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I will say that I kept putting off writing anything at all because every time I considered writing a post about why I hadn’t been back here, I would just get upset. From there, I would think about how people really don’t want to hear it. Then I’d get down on myself. Then I’d take a nap.

I started to feel like if I didn’t write a post explaining my absence then I couldn’t write other posts and things kind of snowballed from there into a giant lack of writing.

But then iguanas started falling out of threes and if that’s not a damn game-changers then I really don’t know what is.

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So. Florida is not living up to the name “Sunshine state” as of late. Well, that’s actually a lie because the sun has been coming out but I think we need a replacement because it’s not doing its job. Frankly the only though that has gone through my head at all today is “HOLY SHIT IT’S FUCKING COLD!”

I mean, compared to when I lived in Massachusetts it’s not all that bad but there’s no heat in the office and my desk is next to a window so… I’m not overly thrilled.

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What does this have to do with iguanas?

EVERYTHING!!!

Apparently because of the cold they are getting cold-stunned and falling out of trees which has prompted the warnings. Even funnier is “Lizard Meat” has been showing up on the Facebook Marketplace (I’m hoping as a joke). The poor guys aren’t dead, just chilled to the point of immobility… though I guess the end result would depend on how far they fall.

But that’s why my life is right now… just hoping a rouge lizard doesn’t fall on my head.

Everything’s fine.

I’m Just Allergic to Being Alive at This Point

Well fall has arrived in Florida in the only way it knows how- by causing my allergies to render me as useless as an appendix for 24 hours. Congratulations fall, you did that, you did that so well. We’re all very proud.

Why is Florida trying to kill me?

I never had an issue with allergies until I moved down here back in 2014 and as a result, I’m not well equipped to deal with them. What I mean by that is that every time they get really bad, I assume I have contracted the plague and I’m going to slip into death at any moment.

Like any dramatic adult would.

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I was feeling a bit icky on Sunday when I woke up but I muscled through and by time I got to work I felt better and through the evening at Universal, I was back to feeling normal. Right up until my stomach decided that it hated me.

I ended up heading home and hitting the hay because I really don’t want to be sick. At this point I’m not just burning the candle at both ends, I’ve just set the whole damn thing on fire and tossed it into gasoline.

Up until yesterday I had worked 42 days straight with no time off. Remember at the beginning of the year when I said that I wouldn’t do crap like that to myself again? Me neither…apparently.

I woke up feeling like crap and ultimately decided it was in my best interested to just stay in bed.

So I did.

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I realized a bit later in the day that I was likely dealing with allergies and naturally I had nothing on hand to help me deal with them. I was told 5 years ago by a doctor to keep allergy medicine on hand for when this happened and naturally I didn’t listen. Because of who I am as a person.

Go me.

I let myself relax and whatnot yesterday in a combination of watching terrible movies and napping. I needed it and I wasn’t going to deny my body any further. I ended up hitting Target this morning to grab some allergy meds and whatnot so now I’m just sitting here trying not to fall asleep.

I also bought Red Bull because I saw this coming.

Adulting is hard.

There is a General Lack of Kitten in my Office

Well today is a sad day.

For the past five days my office has been home to a small stray kitten. One of the actors that works here rescued her after she has seen the little thing hanging around her apartment building. She was an adorable little spooky kitty and I immediately fell in love without a second thought.

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Because we have two very large cats that live in the office space full time, it was decided that she would be safest locked in my office where there is also less for her to get into. And we had fallen in love so it was pretty much a match made in heaven.

Needless to say, my productivity has gone downhill significantly the past few days because… kitten. That and everyone and their brother kept popping in to visit her and that just lead to more adoring the kitten.

SHE IS SO DAMN CUTE AND SWEET AND I LOVE HER

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My initial instinct was to just take her home and love her forever and ever. But I already have three cats there and bringing a new cat, much less a kitten, can be a pain. I resisted.

One of my co-workers had recently lost her cat and was giving serious thought to taking her home but had to talk to her partner about it. I offered to be second on the list in case that fell through. I couldn’t let a black cat head to a shelter this close to Halloween. Wasn’t going to happen.

Needless to say, the wait list for this little angel grew rather quick and we knew that she was going to be taken care of no matter what.

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There was some hemming and hawing as that what was going to happen but no one was hearing any complaints from me. I had an adorable little office mate to hang out with and life was grand. It was a bit sad because I had to keep my office door shut so people forgot I was there, but again, cute little kitten.

But then the time came. Last night after I left to head to HHN, my co-worker finished her shift and took the little nugget home. Part of me knew the day was coming and quick but I thought maybe I was going to have at least one more day with her.

Alas, when I came in this morning and opened my office door, there was a general lack of kitten in my life.

It’s probably for the best that it happened quick like a bandaid because I probably would have been sadder if there was a prolonged goodbye. It’s just a bummer because now I have no kitten to play with. The office cats are super pissed at me because a) my door has been closed for days and they couldn’t come hang with me and b) because my office smells like a strange cat. The one that normally hangs out on my desk to look out my window won’t come anywhere near me.

This is what rejection feels like.

I miss my kitten.

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Let’s Be Mad About Coffee Shall We?

So I was ready to write about eating all of my hurricane snacks well before the storm even thought about hitting Orlando (it never really did, we got some light winds and rains) but something has come to my attention that I want to talk about instead.

Starbucks.

True to my horrible luck, I was out of the state when the panic about Hurricane Dorian began to set in and when I flew home on Sunday morning I was a bit out of the loop. On my way to work from the airport, I decided to mobile order a drink and snack from my local Starbucks. Everything went as planned until I got to the store and found that they were closed for the storm.

Certainly a bit sad for me but it is what it is. Here’s my tweet about it:

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That’s about it.

I found it odd that they were closing so far ahead of the storm but it’s not my call and I understand them wanting to make sure that their team members were able to take care of themselves and their home.  I was annoyed because I had paid for my order and never got it. This was quickly taken care of by Starbucks Customer Service team and I was happy to have gotten my money back.

This whole ordeal of this hurricane has been full of A LOT of uncertainty as Dorian has been out there apparently following his own agenda. I have had a lot of favorite memes for this hurricane but I think this one wins:

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I’m laughing. You’re laughing. Everyone is having a great time… well except for one theme park enthusiast. Now I’m not overly familiar with these folks as I tend not to fall into a lot of the circles people would expect when it comes to the parks. I tend to do my own thing and call it a day. If people enjoy it great, if not, I’ll live.

Anyway- he was rather frustrated with the whole ordeal of the Bucks closing on Sunday well ahead of the storm (NOTE: while I am sharing screenshots I refuse to share links to the profile, so if you want to see more, you’ll have to look them up yourself, I’m not going out of my way to drive traffic for these people):

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This obviously didn’t sit well with a good chunk of their 100K+ followers , particularly when he began to GO OFF on anyone who didn’t follow his viewpoint. Even when they went about disagreeing with his tangent in a respectful way:

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His tactic quickly became to copy/paste a response to everyone that tried to stand up for the brand.  When he wasn’t attacking others in childish ways, he was busy bragging about his “growing” follower count:

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People, including myself, really lost it when he decided to pull out everyone’s favorite, “I pay for your living” in response to a former Barista who commented that they were proud to have worked for a company that took care of their employees. In the interest of fairness I will say that the back and forth could have been handled better but regardless- this guy is tactless.

Here’s that tweet rant:

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To that, I have to say this. I have been working in some aspect of customer service my entire life. I have dealt with every type of person imaginable, including your type. You know, the entitled, everything is about me type.  The ones who know they can complain and get something for it and use whatever platform necessary. Good for you, you’ve learned how to work the system. Gonna throw a slow clap your way real soon.

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH-

While I understand the frustration of not being able to get my usual Starbucks the last couple days, I understand that a good chunk of the time, when it comes to big companies, there isn’t a lot of say. I ran into a friend of mine who works for Starbucks and asked about the closer. The decision came down from the top and they did what they were told- they closed their doors.

Trust me; it’s just as frustrating for them.

And yes- Target-based Starbucks were open, theme park locations were opened, and Barnes and Noble locations were open! Why, because they are franchised and not overseen by the corporate overlords. THAT is why they are still open. Also realize that the decision was being made by people who don’t live in Florida and don’t understand hurricanes.

At the end of the day they did what they felt was best for the health and safety of their employees and I applaud them. No, I am not looking down on any place that stayed open. BOTH of my jobs remained open through yesterday though we did close early to make sure that everyone was home before the curfews that were in place in some areas.

What it comes down to is this. While I have been aware of Theme Park Review, I wasn’t a follower. My introduction to their platform was them using it to belittle their followers and trash talks a corporation simply because they weren’t able to get a coffee from Starbucks.

Congrats because apparently this behavior is a stepping stone towards presidency.

My first impression is not the greatest and in this world that means a lot. You’ve got a solid platform and following, why on earth are you using it to spread hate and nonsense because you can’t admit that maybe your little tweet was a bit much. I can’t agree with many of the thing that were said in retaliation but your stubbornness is leaving a bad taste in a lot of people’s mouths.

Is your stubborn pride really worth all this negative attention?

People who do know you are thinking twice about whether to continue supporting you. People that don’t follow you see a bully. Yeah, there are people that have your back. But are you thinking about the brand you represent or just yourself when it comes to all these attacks.

Frankly, I’m happy we were spared from the worst of it. I’m happy that we are all safe and the biggest loss is my daily latte.

There are people out there that aren’t as fortunate. Maybe use your following and platform to raise money and help those in need instead of fighting everyone.

Just my two cents.

It’s Like Russian Roulette but With Peanut Butter Crackers

So as I’m writing this, I’m on hold with JetBlue. Turns out we’re going to have some weather this weekend here in Florida and while that doesn’t affect my getting up to Boston for my brother’s wedding, it does affect my getting home. For both personal and financial reasons, I don’t want to get stuck in Boston longer than I have to be.

I should note that when I say “some weather” it means that we’re looking at the strong possibility of a hurricane.

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I had the idea of it on my outer radar but when I walked into work today there was some slight panicking going on, just because it’s never fun to deal with mother nature and of course watching twenty million projections to figure out what’s going to happen is annoying.

My personal favorite is this spaghetti model where one place has the storm taking a hard left and saying “PEACE OUT YA’LL”

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Also I just learned that these are called Spaghetti Models. So there’s something new for everyone.

See… this is an educational blog!

So here I am sitting on hold… but I’m also hungry. The only thing within reach is peanut butter crackers… and I’m eating them. Every time I shove one in my mouth I’m terrified they’re finally going to answer and I will make a fool of myself…

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Nothing yet.

So basically I’m trying to get ahead of the madness and possibly change my flight back to Orlando to Sunday instead of Monday. I won’t miss the weather but I will miss the potential delays should the storm hit Orlando Monday morning.

I’m gonna munch another cracker.

Dear lord. So the second the thing is in my mouth, the music cuts out making me think someone answered but it was just a recorded message telling me things and now I’m choking on a cracker.

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DAMN MY HUNGER.

People in the office are looking at me funny.

Well, moreso than usual.

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I’m one cracker away from finishing the pack. Do I risk it?

I’m wondering if this would have been funnier if I was live-tweeting it… probably. I never think of these things until it’s too late. I swear I’m a terrible blogger. Is this why I don’t get sponsors for things? IS THIS WHY I’M NOT AN INFLUENCER?!?!?!?!

Okay, I’m out of crackers now. It’s been 19 minutes. Insanity is starting to set in…

A PERSON!

EVERYONE QUIET, I’M TALKING!

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Ok. So. Because nothing is cancelled and whatnot they aren’t waiving change-fees for flights and they have even reduced the number of airports in the Caribbean affected while we were on the phone. The very nice lady explained that everything, right now is running smoothly. Obviously that can change as the storm does what it does.

I explained that I’m going home to see family and the idea of getting stuck with them is so damn stressful I’d rather get a root canal in Dante’s Inferno. She laughed, I laughed, we’re having a good time.

HOWEVER, my only option right now is to pay for a flight change to come back to Orlando earlier. It’s $100.

This is roughly my bar budget for the wedding. So I have two options. Suck it up and play the odds OR pay for the flight change and suffer through a wedding with my family sober.

Sometimes being an adult really sucks.

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I’m going to suck it up… and also keep an eye and change the second I’m able to should the opportunity arise.

The worst part of all of this is that the crackers really did nothing for me and I’m still hungry. One of my co-workers just walked in with Arby’s and now I’m jealous because that sounds delicious.

I checked, they’re too far away for any of the delivery services.

This really is a terrible day.

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I Would Be the Most Obnoxious Neighbor Ever

Some friends of mine recently purchased their first home and are super excited to have a yard. With the best holiday in the world coming upon us (Halloween in case you didn’t know) they are looking at the possibilities of having a yard to make AMAZING.

Naturally I ended up getting in on the conversation on Facebook because Halloween is the best and I really want nothing more than to have a giant yard to spend ridiculous amounts of money on for the holiday seasons. Primarily Halloween and Christmas.

When I lived up north there was a house I would drive by all the time in Beverly, MA who would have decorations out year-round for every holiday and season. They are my spirit animals. I would likely be that guy.

My hunting while chatting Halloween decorations has lead me to find some adorable things that I feel the need to share with everyone.  If I had the time, energy, money and a yard- this is the crap that would be all over it.

Considering how early I tend to decorate for the fall (my Halloween decorations went up at home on the 13th of this month) my neighbors would likely hate me and I wouldn’t care. I’ve included links as to where to find them.

You’re welcome world.

Glowing Witch Hat Decorations

Apparently these are new this year and HOW AWESOME ARE THEY? I could totally see these hanging all over the front yard and I love them so damn much.[image error]

They are rated five stars on Amazon! Check them out here!

Garage Door, Archway, Car Monster Face

Turn anything into a giant monster! What could go wrong. The temptation to add these to my car for the spooky season is very real! If my HOA wasn’t so horrible I’d add them to my doorway for the season but they are super cranky pants about EVERYTHING so I’m not going to risk it. The car might happen though.

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There are no reviews on this particular set, but others like it are rated 4 stars! Check it out on Amazon!

Giant Dense Spider Web with Super Stretch Cobweb Set

I’m not a fan of regular spiders but when it comes to Halloween- BRING EM ON! These massive spider webs are AMAZING! Why aren’t they in your front yard right now?

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The reviewers love them so they are worth checking out for sure!

Baby Skeleton Yard Decoration 

Okay- typically, I am not a fan of inflatable decorations but this and the ones that follow, I find to be PAINFULLY amazing and they would be all over my front yard in the blink of an eye. Look at this little nugget!!

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You can find this adorable little skeleton here!

 Inflatable Blow Up Ghost 

This guy is essential just me. If I were a ghost and then turned into a yard decoration, here I am. I love this stupid guy and the stupid face he has!

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If anyone feels like buying him for me so he can live in my office year-round, here’s where to find him!

Inflatable Ghost

Because I am not me if I’m not with Ashley-Michelle, here is her doppelganger who can also come live with me!

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If you don’t love this stupid little ghost, I assume there’s something wrong with you. Here’s where you can find this nugget!

 Inflatable Blow Up Pumpkin Skeleton 

HOW IS THIS NOT THE MOST ADORABLE THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN AND I NEED TWENTY OF THEM!!!!

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Start building your army of pumpkin skeletons now!

6 Foot Tall Halloween Inflatable Skeleton Dinosaur 

I have save the best for last. Once I saw this thing I fell in love and I’m sad that I don’t have a yard where this beautiful nugget could just live and be wonderful any time of the year because OMG HOW PERFECT IS HE?!?!?!?

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Buy one for me. Buy one for a friend. BUY ALL OF THEM NOW!!!

So there you have it. There was more but I toned myself down for the purposes of this post. Granted, I have a feeling this isn’t how these types of posts are supposed to go but here we are.

Go buy all these things and then send me photos of them because right now it’s just not meant to be for us to be together….

*sigh*

Earth is Great, Batuu is Better

It would turned out that I lied just a little when I said that nothing interesting has really happened over the past few weeks. In fact, something amazing happened just over a week ago.

I got to travel to a whole new planet!

As many people know, Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge is opening here in Florida this coming week. Over the past few weeks, however they have been holding exclusive previews for both cast members and passholders. As I recently downgraded my pass, I wasn’t eligible for the preview which left me a bit bummed out. In a stroke of luck, Kevin was able to bring me along when his boyfriend wasn’t able to make it.

To say that I had a blast would be an understatement. To say that I cried multiple times would be the complete truth. It was nothing short of amazing.

Rather than blather on, I want to just share some photos from my time at the Black Spire Outpost on Batuu! This is a small sampling, I had to refrain from going shutter happy with my phone while we were there.

Our first stop was a reservation at Oga’s Cantina where this guy was our DJ while we enjoyed our drinks.

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The drinks we amazing and our server was the sweetest! I took a picture with him but I looked like the hottest of all the messes so here’s a picture of The Outer Rim cocktail that I ordered.

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We wandered around just taking in the scenery. There were fun little easter eggs at each and every turn. We spent forever just walking around and I could have done so for hours!

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These were the droids we were looking for!

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We ended up riding Smuggler’s Run three times. It was amazing! The queue wasn’t overly thrilling but once we were into the main waiting area, we were IN the Millennium Falcon. I cried again.

Before we entered the Falcon we had a little pre-show where I learned they used my likeness to create a droid. This is me in droid form and I’ll fight anyone who tries to say otherwise!

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The waiting area before we went in was the iconic sitting area in the Falcon. I took a picture of me sitting there, but again, looked like a mess. So here it is empty.

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Like I said, we were able to ride Smuggler’s Run three times. Within the ride there are different positions for the riders. Our first time around we were engineers which wasn’t overly thrilling but I was so overtaken by the beauty of what was happening that I was okay with being a terrible engineer. Our third time around we were gunners and I kicked some serious Tie-Fighter ass!

The second ride I learned that I am a terrible pilot. Mostly because I didn’t believe that we really had any control over the ride. I was wrong. But at the end of it all, I can say I flew the Millennium Falcon and it was the best!

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The hardest part of it all was leaving. I likely would have stayed longer but I was tired. I really would have enjoyed seeing the place at night. Good chance it’ll be a long while before I get back there once it opens. But who knows!

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I will say this for the experience. I wasn’t in Hollywood Studios. I wasn’t in a theme park at all. I was on an entirely different planet for the hours that we were there. Disney did such an amazing job creating a beautifully immersive environment. I’m looking forward to going back especially once the new ride opens at the end of the year.

I’m also super grateful for Kevin who invited me along for the cast member preview. We had so much damn fun.

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All said and done it was a grand adventure and a reminder that I have some of the greatest friends in the world… possibly even the Galaxy!

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