Christopher D. Connors's Blog, page 48

How to Win the Biggest Battle of All

“The toughest battle you’ll ever fight in your life is the battle within yourself.” — Anonymous

Within each day, each moment of life, each challenge, adversity and mistake, there’s something to be won. Everything we categorize or think of as a loss can be converted into a win. The magic of life is about self-discovery: It’s our job to find the wins, to recognize the opportunities for personal growth and to move forward wiser, more self-aware and better prepared for the next battle.

If we focus and concentrate, using the power of our minds, we’ll begin the process of overcoming the things that hold us back. We’ll start to embrace the battles and view them as part of a longer journey— one that will take us to highs, lows and everything in between. Everything I’ve learned in my business career and personal life has taught me that equanimity is the most important unspoken truth of life.

The moment that we allow life to drag us down, thinking that there’s some indefinite time period before we can recover, is the moment that we surrender our free will. Successful businesswomen like Sheryl Sandberg have used adversity to their advantage repeatedly and have moved forward with brilliance and grace.

Singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran overcame a major stuttering problem as a child to become one of the most successful recording artists on the planet. Remarkable that someone who struggled with stuttering could wow so many people with the power of his voice. Sheeran refused to give up.

Basketball star LeBron James never gets too high after a big game, and never believes anything is too challenging. In the 15th year of his long, storied career, he has been pressed to his physical limits and yet again, finds himself competing for the NBA championship. He’s lost five times in the NBA Finals. But he’s kept coming back for more.

Lebron James, Source: Wikimedia Commons

It’s why he’s a champion and one of the greatest players to ever live.

“The battles that count aren’t the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself, the invisible, inevitable battles inside all of us, that’s where it’s at.” Jesse Owens”

Winning the battle takes extra effort and more than we thought possible. But it’s there if we want it. We must accept the challenge and we must do so with a spirit of courage that embraces risk. If you’re not willing to risk, if you just want to play things conservatively and hope for the best, you’ll be sorely disappointed. The conservative route is a loser’s strategy, and yet so many people think minimizing risk in ventures is the right way to play.

The battle within is triggered by external stimuli. We either react to what comes at us or take up the gauntlet and start attacking life proactively with a winner’s mindset. If you sit there and wait all the time, life begins to consume you. The struggle to be successful in your career starts to feel overwhelming every time you let up and think you can coast by.

Your relationships begin to flounder when you stop working for them and think that everyone should “come to you” and things will work out all right. Life is a contact sport and you must be willing to compete and battle for what completes you. This means mastering your emotional and mental abilities through a mindset geared toward continuous improvement.

To be at peace mentally and emotionally, we often need to be at peace spiritually. This means — we have to accept life for what it is, to acknowledge things at face value, then do our best to influence and impact how we want to change things so they will align with our truth — our vision and purpose. It is this vision and purpose that must guide us to win the battle within.

4 Ways to Win Your Battle Within1. Build in time for self-reflection

Successful people who live boldly and joyfully are great thinkers. They don’t suffer from “paralysis by analysis,” but rather they spend time in deep thought about how they want to design their lives. They think of traps to avoid, they have an excellent memory which steels them against repeating future mistakes. They overcome negative thinking with optimism and hope.

I recommend dedicating a minimum of 15-minutes daily to thinking of all that you’re facing right now in your life. You won’t be able to solve all your problems in 15 minutes, but you will know what you’re up against. You’ll be able to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for each part of your day and you’ll become more resilient for approaching new and old obstacles.

2. Find the environment that will enable you to clear your mind

What place works for you? Does it help you to meditate or find time in solitude in the confines of your own home? Is it in a public space like the library? Is it a church or house of worship? Maybe you need to get out in nature, disengage, unplug and find your inner-voice. We all need peace if we’re going to be great warriors against the things that threaten to derail us.

I encourage you to find a place where you can think clearly and passionately.

“There is an amazing power getting to know your inner self and learning how to use it and not fight with the world. If you know what makes you happy, your personality, interests and capabilities, just use them, and everything else flows beautifully.” — Juhi Chawla

3. Bucket your worries and anxious thoughts into categories

When you struggle long enough with anxious thoughts and fears, you come to a fork in the road. You either do something about it, or you become complacent. Remember this — action is always better than inaction. Compose a list of all your worries and anxious thoughts. Once you have these in one place, begin bucketing them out and categorizing them.

This simple act of shining a light on what affects us mentally and emotionally is vital in helping us develop a winner’s mindset. What do I mean? When you’re able to isolate and highlight the things that threaten you, you’re better able to analyze and target ways to overcome them. You can dismiss some thoughts as unfitting of your time and move on.

Some of our biggest worries or concerns seem very trivial when we open them up to the light.

4. Game Plan

Ultimately, you have to do the work. Better organization leads to better results. Become skilled at planning and executing off the plan you set for yourself. To win the battle you must know your enemies. And you must learn how to defeat them. Kindness, perseverance, gratitude, humility and hard work are all great values that will help you.

Having a plan is a tremendous safeguard against down times and bad thoughts. This game plan will lift your spirits and keep you pointed in the direction to keep fighting on for a new day.

Join Me on Your Journey

Join my newsletter and let me know if you want to connect as you work toward achieving your biggest goals!

How to Win the Biggest Battle of All was originally published in ART + marketing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Empty Your Cup — How to Give Your All to Empower Others

Giving Your All to Others Isn’t What You Think

Our responsibility is “to empty our cup” and find ways to pour into the people around us what we do know, not because it’s all there is to know, but because it’s all we know” — Andy Stanley

When you live an altruistic life with empathy toward others, there will be days where you really struggle with the will to serve and help. Could be self-doubt. Maybe it’s low self-esteem, or maybe we just want to focus on ourselves. It’s simply hard on a day-in-day-out basis to find the motivation and inspiration that’s required to be successful. It’s hard to always give every ounce of ourselves in every moment.

But what we come to find is that life is truly most fulfilling, rewarding and exhilarating when we empty our cup — giving the best of ourselves — by focusing to give the maximum effort and attitude to each day. It’s not easy, but it’s always worth it. As Coach John Wooden famously once said,

“Perform at your best when your best is required. Your best is required each day.”

The time to give your best is always right now. Even when you think your best isn’t very good. Even when you think you can only be a taker, and not a giver. Chances are you have enough life experience, wisdom to dispense and a unique perspective that can help change someone’s life for the better.

It’s with this that I encourage you to stop doubting, take inventory of what you can give to others and start making a positive difference in someone else’s life. First — start with yourself. Recognize that there are likely many more positive attributes that you have than you may be giving yourself credit for. True personal growth takes root when you begin with increasing your emotional intelligence and your quest for the truth.

https://medium.com/media/b1b53037a8b971281ab100709bef960a/hrefAll We’ve Got

Andy Stanley speaks often about “emptying your cup” in service to others. I think about this in the context of giving our all, and trying to inspire others to become leaders and to reach their potential. He’s talked extensively about how we can’t fill someone else’s cup, but we can “empty our cup” in an effort to help others fill their cup.

Through our business ventures and personal relationships, we cannot do it all for someone else. We can’t do their job, and ours. We can’t be a great girlfriend AND boyfriend. WE can’t do it all. Each person in a business relationship and personal relationship has to do their best to meet in the middle and give of themselves to make things work.

This leadership trait is made possible when we focus on what we can control and empower others by giving them the advantage of all that we know — all that’s helped us to be happy and successful.

I feel there are three clear-cut ways to empty your cup for someone else.

1. Utilize the power that you can control

What we always control is the effort and attitude we bring to every opportunity and relationship that we enter. Furthermore, we have the free will and choice to lead with values like kindness, humility, gratitude and open-mindedness in how we interact and help others. Treat people with kindness and respect, empty yourself.

“The goal of many leaders is to get people to think more highly of the leader. The goal of a great leader is to help people to think more highly of themselves.” -J. Carla Northcutt

2. Be Generous. Don’t be Greedy

Give the people you know and work with the power of knowing what you know. As you give away your talents to others, you start to reap positive returns that ripple throughout your life. Teaching, coaching and empowering others leaves a positive imprint on our own life. It’s a soul-refreshing act of love and grace that helps us learn and grow in a reciprocal fashion.

It’s the selfless act of helping others that produces a compound-effect in our own lives. When we teach and instruct others, we retain that information for ourselves through repetition and rote memory. When we act kindly and graciously to improve someone’s life, we find that the world tends to reward us for sending more beautiful actions into the environment.

Take ownership of what you can give and you’ll never have to worry about someone else giving back to you in return. You’ll be so concerned about maximizing your output and positive mindset for others, you won’t have time to sweat the small stuff.

3. Be Self-Aware and Selfless

Know this — you can’t make someone like you. You can’t force someone else to do something. All you can do is treat someone how you want to be treated, and let that action stand. Hope it gets reciprocated. Give without expecting anything in return and you’ll mitigate risk; you’ll hurt less. You’ll open yourself up to being helped by someone else.

So I ask you — what can you do to help fill someone else’s cup?

How Can I Fill Your Cup?

If you want to work with me, connect here and let me know how I can help you!

Empty Your Cup — How to Give Your All to Empower Others was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Follow This Above Everything Else if You Truly Want to be Successful

Your success is dependent on your own belief and feeling of self-satisfaction, not external validation from others. Read this back to yourself the next time you start doubting and questioning all the sources from which you derive your sense of accomplishment. Unless you’re in a direct 1:1 competition where a clear winner and loser is decided, let your success be by your own definition.

The way it’s supposed to be.

So many of us have it twisted. We need to feel validated from others. We want the bestselling book because it will mean that others will sing our praises. We want the tweet that gets 50,000 retweets, not because it necessarily means something to us, but because it means others observed our idea, thought random musing. Which may not matter much at all if it doesn’t tie back to what matters most to us.

It’s not about the cars, the bling or whether Sheryl Sandberg“liked” our latest post about changing the world. Do those things matter? Sure. But they truly pale in comparison to our commitment to following a plan that will bring peace, joy, success and true meaning to our lives. Go for the “dream job” that you think is “above your pay-grade,” not because you think your parents or boyfriend will care more, but because it will be the stepping-stone that launches your next big goal.

View the external validation purely as icing on the cake or a luxury. It’s supplementary. It makes us feel better, but it should not be what makes us truly feel good. It adds to our feeling of self-worth. It helps us, but should never be a feeling that legitimizes us. Our own thoughts, our own ideas, accomplishments and actions should do that.

External validation adds to growing voices believing in what you’re doing and honoring it. But it doesn’t define you. If you’re looking to grow your brand, increase your prospects for new clients, sell an idea or heck, just get started in your career, you have to stay true to yourself by starting with a plan. Your plan should have a definition of success, success measures and goals that support what success means to you.

Praises and the Inner-Knowledge

Build on values — you’ll find no bigger proponent of this than I, namely because my entire foundation was built on core values. The reason I’m able to succeed and run a business today is because I chose my values and always have these to stabilize me, in good times and in bad. Values are there for us when the going gets really rough, and when we’re riding high.

Last week, Arianna Huffington shared one of my articles on her Linked in page. It reached literally hundreds of thousands of people. She reached out to thank me for writing such a wonderful piece and complimented me on my work. She wanted to know if we could collaborate in the future on something really great.

I was on cloud-nine, as any one of us would be when hearing from one of the world’s most successful people. It felt great. But as weird as this sounds, this “reward” or external validation truly does pale in comparison of committing to a goal, building a plan to achieve it and immersing yourself in the experience to the maximum-degree.

Maximum output with joy in your heart multiplied by the true completion of the exact objective you set out to accomplish. That is true victory.

I bring up that example because, yes, it did mean something to me. It made me smile, and it helped give me more exposure as a writer. But like you, I know that if I want to stay true to myself and continue building on my strong foundation, I have to keep going and focus on the journey. Not the trophies, so to speak.

True success comes from the inside. It’s born from great opportunity which is only recognized and conquered once we are truly prepared for it. Once we’re ready for it. And guess what? I think we’re a lot more ready for the biggest opportunities and success moments in our lives than we may realize. Focus on the moment. Focus on what success honestly means to you. Take the time to speak it out loud and write it down.

Once you do, the world is yours. It starts from within. Give it life.

Follow This Above Everything Else if You Truly Want to be Successful was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Keep Going: The Proven Method to Persevere and Get the Right Results

The toughest thing to do in life is to admit when we’re wrong.

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. — Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

It’s humbling. It takes self-examination and a genuine desire to look at the facts and want to improve ourselves. The fact is, it takes effort and willpower. So, not everyone does it. But it’s always worth your time.

My Mom would tell me growing up, her father — my grandfather — used to say, “It takes a big man (or woman) to admit when he/she is wrong — and apologize.” Many of us are often wrong and don’t even know it. Or worse yet, we do know it and we continue to plod on, committing deliberate actions that hurt ourselves and others.

But what about when we’re right?

When we’re right, there are really two options. We believe we’re right or we don’t. Dig a little deeper and you’ll understand the essential difference between these two outcomes: Believing we’re right and acting accordingly is what will make us great. Doubting ourselves while acting upon the right thing is perhaps the most dangerous, self-inflicted damage we can do to our psyche.

Clearly, we’re working on getting to the right mindset and doing the right thing. Easier said than done, right? Not really. These two things require the two qualities that are always within our control: attitude and effort. It’s here that we develop the realization that we have the power to move forward. That we actually can create our own destiny. This is the best strategy and mindset to adopt to get what we want in life.

Getting the Right Results

Being right and knowing you’re right comes primarily from four things: research, observation, validation of others and intuition.

Copyright: Christopher D. Connors- 3C Coaching 2017

As you see in the quadrant, I believe the optimal state is to have a strong, believing mindset that is backed up with the most constructive actions. What is most damaging, I’ve found, is to do the right thing yet believe that what you’re doing has all been in vain — that you’re wrong and worse, that doubt and fear begin to creep in.

I’ve found that actions can often easily be corrected but attitude adjustments are much harder to make. Changing our attitude is frankly, a matter of willpower. This requires breaking down and beating old habits that have discouraged, distracted and prevented us from our potential.

It’s very difficult to turn things around when the breaks haven’t been going our way — or when we haven’t yet found results in whatever endeavor we have chosen. While it’s certainly teetering on the border of danger when you’re doing the wrong thing but believing you’re right, it’s simply easier to correct those actions through observation and study.

That’s what great mentors, teachers, coaches and influencers are for. Seek knowledge and wisdom from those who are in a position to help and are willing.

For all of us, our goal should be to move to the “northeast” part of the quadrant where our actions are in line with the positivity of our attitude. Strong conviction does not equal stubbornness. Strong conviction and belief in yourself equals faith, which begets patience, persistence and perseverance.You’ll never just be able to get by with only a positive attitude.

You must back that with an intelligent, industrious work ethic that consistently approaches each day with optimism, anticipation and a refusal to compromise.

Your Personal Story

One of the toughest things I’ve ever wrestled with as a human, business professional and writer, was believing that other people cared about my personal story. It took me a long time to realize that others did. Part of it was fear of the unknown. I might be rejected. Others might criticize me! Oh, the horror. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

Or does it?

Because I’ve found that’s the problem that so many of us have. We create this chasm IN OUR MINDS that putting ourselves out there — in whatever we do — is so difficult, purely because we fear what others might say.

That’s the excruciating damage of self-inflicted negative thinking. It is insidious, destructive and limiting. It blocks us from a path that is likely the one we are meant to travel — whatever our occupation, passion or interest is.The power of putting ourselves out there, telling our real story and feeling confident doing so, is one of the secrets to living a purposeful life.

While the local and national news paint a picture of dread, despair and angst, the truth is that the world and its citizens — the vast majority of them — are kind, loving, empathetic people who care about others.

I’ve found that many of the people here in the Medium community are precisely such people. I’ve been blessed both digitally and in person to meet some extraordinarily caring, genuine people in my life that have taken an interest in me.

I’ve learned through networking (Yikes, that ugly word!) that taking a chance on a conversation with someone will bring happiness, new ideas and fun to our lives. We have the opportunity over a cup of coffee or meal to genuinely show an interest in getting to know others, while they do the same with us.

We get to put our ideas and stories out there in public, to hopefully gain some new supporters and believers — people willing to go to bat for us as we pursue our dreams. It’s this first step that is absolutely essential to building and persevering in our strategy and continuing to follow our dream. Without this, without believing in ourselves and taking a chance, we cannot live the life we want.

The Fountainhead

I want to tell the story of the great author, Ayn Rand, and her effort to publish her bestselling novel, The Fountainhead. As a matter of fact — I was further brought to read her novels by many of you who commented on my post about the 15 books that helped to shape my mind.

Ayn Rand’s classic, The Fountainhead, was rejected by a whopping 12 publishers before the Bobbs-Merrill Company decided to take a chance on this, “unsaleable and unpublishable,” book. At least those were the famous last words of one mighty foolish publisher.

12 rejections.

What mattered and helped Rand’s cause was an inspiring review from the New York Times:

“You will not be able to read this masterful book without thinking through some of the basic concepts of our time.”

If only we all were so fortunate. Yet words like those tend to be gifted toward individuals who create art that transcends their time and generations thereafter. From there, the flight of The Fountainhead was airborne, and as the word of her book spread across the world, people began to read and become inspired by her empowering themes of individualism and objectivism.

Staying the Course

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ― Maya Angelou

When you believe in your idea and back it with faith and unrelenting perseverance, you find that rejection is in fact your best friend. I’ve come to believe that rejection is the ignition to start fine-tuning our lives and guiding them toward the direction that our heart is leading us.

I thought about these things as I wrote my book, The Value of You last year. There were moments of doubt, just as there are for even the world’s most confident and accomplished people. But what made this book possible was my willingness to publish on this awesome platform, and to put myself out there. I first wrote only for myself. Over the last several years, I put myself out there and I began to thrive.

It’s made all the difference.

I’m soothed by the lack of reception — initially — that Ayn Rand dealt with for what became one of the most enduring classics of the 20th Century. There was no immediate success to be had. Rather, disappointment. However, that disappointment was met with an open-armed embrace of taking up the gauntlet and continuing on because she knew she was right.

She knew her book was special. She believed that if she stayed the course, she would indeed be rewarded.

Go “All In”

It pains me to see people on the right path who lack the conviction because of fear of the unknown. I can sense it immediately because I spent so many years of my life with this mindset. Call it “youngest child syndrome.” Call it an overly fearful view of the world mixed with trepidation about what others might think.

Call it what it is and then stop making excuses. Know that when you go “all in” and put yourself out there, the world doesn’t seem so scary. It’s invigorating, actually. You learn the proven strategy of believing in yourself and persevering by taking a chance. If you never take a chance, you’ll never know.

But if you have the courage to move forward, you’ll begin to live the life you’ve always wanted.

Keep Going!

Join my newsletter and check out my Amazon Bestselling book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey. If you want to work with me, connect here and let me know how I can help you!

Keep Going: The Proven Method to Persevere and Get the Right Results was originally published in ART + marketing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The Next Step to Getting What You Want — Be Specific and Clear

“Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.” — Jules Renard

Please note — this is a follow-up and Part II to the article, The First Step to Getting What You Want is Making the Ask. You can read that here .

The first step to getting what you want is your willingness to ask for what you want. As I detail in part one of this series above, so much of your success will be determined by other people. Yes, you’re the one accountable and you have to take the initiative to go after what you want. But so often, we need the help of others. We need to let people know what we want. We need to ask.

When you ask, the world has an uncanny habit of giving you what you ask for.

But what comes next? The first step is asking for help, asking someone to work with you, asking to learn from a mentor, asking for — an opportunity. Asking for a chance at a new relationship or a fun, new activity to participate in. From there, you can turn your attention to the most important thing you can do to get someone else to help you. And you’ll need it if you want to be successful.

Becoming Your Best

LeBron James is an example of a great athlete and highly successful individual who continued to set big goals from the time he came into the NBA. LeBron wanted to make an All Start team. Then make the Playoffs, then win a Championship, MVP award and so on. It culminated in his proclamation that he wants to be the greatest player ever. And with his talent and work ethic, who could blame him?

“I have a personal goal to be the greatest. That I maximize my potential, that I got everything out of my career and I got everything out of my game that I could and that I pushed the envelope. When people said I couldn’t get better, I continue to strive to get better.” Source: USA Today

It doesn’t get any more specific and clear than saying you want to be the greatest player ever. For an athlete like LeBron James, that’s highly admirable and incredibly lofty to attain. For a software developer whose passion is food, maybe your goal is to develop a food-industry app that helps people to identify gluten-free foods that are both nutritious and affordable. That is specific.

It comes down to being clear about your intentions — both for yourself and so others can help you. Here’s another example:

Let’s say you want to start a successful online clothing business. Here’s an example of being specific:

Specific: I want to sell women’s dresses and skirts that are lightweight, breathable material meant for warmer-weather months, geared toward the modern, athletic woman. That’s pretty specific right there.

Not Specific: I want to sell women’s dresses and skirts that suit the modern woman.

That doesn’t work very well. Extremely broad — and you better have a killer product.

“The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

The Next Step

When I started moving in the direction of my dreams a few years ago, I met with the Chief Operating Officer of one of 10 largest private companies in the United States. I had previously done consulting work for this company and was brainstorming ideas for different paths I could pursue in my career. We tried figuring out if there was a place for me at his company.

I realized I wanted to ultimately wanted to start my own coaching business (which I did) and to become a writer, author and speaker who brings a positive, inspiring and practical message to millennials and young adults. I’ve tailored my message down from there to be more specific, but I want to frame the picture for what I communicated to this top executive.

He told me,

“Christopher, you have a great idea. And I think you have the right tools to be successful. But you’re going to have to work hard. You’re going to need to be very clear with your intentions. People like me can help you, and you’ll NEED people to help you along the way. Every time you ask for help, tell people EXACTLY what you want. Don’t beat around the bush.

Don’t be afraid to tell people exactly what it is that you want, precisely what it will mean to you to have it, and specifically why you want to do what you want to do. When you have that level of specificity, you will have confidence and conviction. Two of the most important skills to have on your journey toward living your dreams.”

I knew what I needed to do from there. I didn’t want to be like everyone else hoping to start an entrepreneurial track. I wanted to stake out a niche, but most importantly I wanted to develop a greater confidence in what I was doing. I had to get specific — I did and it’s made an enormous difference. I get to do the work I want with the people I want. It’s that simple.

Take this “feedforward” approach from famed coach, Marshall Goldsmith, via the Harvard Business Review:

1. Describe your goal clearly and simply to anyone you know.

2. Ask for two suggestions. Encourage creative ideas.

3. Listen carefully. Write the suggestions down.

4. Respond with “thank you.” Nothing more. No excuses or defensiveness.

5. Repeat by asking additional people. Source: HBR

We talk a lot about having the courage and confidence to get what we want in life. The first step is truly the willingness to make the request, to ask someone to help you out. The next step is to be clear. When you’re clear and specific, you firm-up your mind by mentally and emotionally preparing yourself to pursue your goals with vigor and purpose.

“Not getting what you want either means you don’t want it enough, or you have been dealing too long with the price you have to pay.” — Rudyard Kipling

Be specific and set specific goals that are measurable and achievable. Be a great listener AND be a great thinker. Write down the ideas you have, look back at them and determine whether those are the ideas that you want to let ride — the ones you’ll take to market and look to turn into gold. So often, we’re not nearly as far away as we think from our biggest dreams.

But we lack the knowledge or the methods it will take to get there. We’re only a few adjustments away, yet until we reconcile this and figure it out, it seems so far. Get specific. Set big goals. Incredible leaders and success stories conquered their biggest fears and achieved amazing goals by getting clear on exactly what they wanted. You can start today on the same journey.

Be Clear on What You Want

Join my newsletter and let me know if you want to connect as you work toward achieving your biggest goals!

This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by 323,834+ people.Subscribe to receive our top stories here.

The Next Step to Getting What You Want — Be Specific and Clear was originally published in The Startup on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Never Underestimate the Power of Starting Over

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it, begin it now.“ — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It’s incredible how many people are so afraid to begin again. To try something new. To (gasp)… start over. For so many people, starting over means that we’ve failed. That we’ve lost time. It’s easy to think that starting over is an admission of guilt — an outcome that suggests we should start blaming and beating ourselves up over all of our transgressions, mistakes and efforts.

Why?

Starting over is not a bad thing. It may be the best move you ever make, particularly when you know in your heart you’re on the wrong track. Because continuing on doing the same thing, for the sake of comfort or fear of change, is further compounding a move in the wrong direction. Some of the most successful people we know today started over — and it made all the difference.

From Teaching to Media

Jonah Peretti started out teaching high school computer science during the mid-90s for several years. He decided that he wanted to keep learning and try something new. He attended graduate school at MIT and began growing and learning about new ideas. His big break came in a very odd way — an email that he sent to friends about a hilarious exchange with a Nike worker went viral and got him an appearance on NBC’s Today Show.

Peretti brought light to the sweatshop conditions that many Nike workers toil in. His move caught the eye of Ariana Huffington and Ken Lerer. Those three, along with Andrew Breitbart, went on to found the Huffington Post several years later. Yes, the digital media news and opinion website that he later had a hand in selling to AOL for a staggering $315 Million.

But he wasn’t done there. Peretti moved on to found BuzzFeed, the Internet company that plays a huge role in the digital journalism world. He concentrated his energy into journalism and media, even after starting in a completely different career. He wanted something new and he started from scratch, uncovering a brand new, incredible career.

A New Business for Lawyers Who Had it All

Tim and Nina Zagat were highly successful corporate lawyers in the 60s and 70s, leading the lives of high-profile attorneys in New York City. While content practicing law, the two also shared a love of food and namely, fine restaurants. They later accepted jobs in Paris and started to frequent restaurants, offering up their own critiques and using these to help guide them to future culinary options.

What started as a hobby (as it so often does!) became an obsession and the thought of a great business idea. What about taking their passion for food and converting this into a business for a ratings guide of restaurants? With that idea, a new venture was born. And the Zagat’s started to concentrate their energy into scaling their new business and making millions of dollars in the process.

Their family, friends, colleagues and industry mates must have thought they were insane. What Ivy Leaguers walk away from a lucrative, highly admired career to give something far less certain a shot? Well as it turns out, the Zagat’s are who! And boy did it pay off. Chances are you’ve received a restaurant recommendation thanks to their easy-to-navigate guide.

Both the Zagat’s and Jonah Peretti decided to start over. They didn’t give up. They didn’t fail. They wanted to try something new and pursue their passion. They did it to the tune of millions and an incredible new career that was probably beyond even their wildest dreams.

Whether it’s your career or personal venture, the cost of staying stuck where you are, when you know you’re on the wrong track, can be damaging. This happens in personal relationships, jobs, dealing with stress, anxiety and even dissatisfaction with our physical appearance. Fear can cripple us if we let it, even when we know we’d be far better suited to start over.

Sometimes, going in the direction of doing something dynamic and bold is right, even if we don’t yet know all the steps of how to get to that dream or goal. Go and take a shot, even if you don’t know how. I turn to Elon Musk in times like these: “When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.”

Be willing to admit you’re on the wrong track. Be willing to start over if you feel you have bigger, bolder challenges ahead of you. Don’t stay stuck. Move on and figure out what it will take to design the life you deserve.

Start Again

Join my newsletter and check out my Amazon Bestselling book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey. If you want to work with me, connect here and let me know how I can help you!

Never Underestimate the Power of Starting Over was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Run Your Own Race — Focus on What You Can Control and You Will Win Every Time

“I think that everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and you put the work and time into it. I think your mind really controls everything.” — Michael Phelps

In the summer of 2016, the Rio Olympics men’s 200m butterfly final provided us with one of the most vivid examples of what it means to “do you” and run your own race. The greatest men’s swimmer to ever live was going for another gold medal, and this time he’d be tested more than ever by one of his chief rivals, Chad le Clos. Phelps knew if he ran his own race that he’d win. But nothing was guaranteed.

le Clos had emerged as one of the best butterfly swimmers in the world, even besting Phelps for the gold at the 2012 London Olympics. The competition was on. What it would come down to was, who was most focused and immersed in swimming their best race with complete concentration on themselves and no one else.

As they say, a picture is worth 1,000 words.

(and yes, I know, some butterfly swimmers occasionally breathe from the side. But this was an example of someone spying their competition and paying a huge price!)

On the final lap, Phelps turned it on and passed le Clos. All of this was captured for eternity with a one millisecond look that said it all. le Clos was so focused and concerned on Phelps coming to take back his gold medal from the same event at the 2008 Games that he lost focus. He started worrying about his competitor.

He didn’t even make it to the medal stand.

Phelps kept going forward and focusing on the end goal. He won another gold medal and the moment became etched in time with a central, clear message: Run your own race. Don’t worry about what others are doing- especially if you find it turning into envy or frustration. You’re on your own path for a reason. Know your purpose, clarify your goals and keep powering forward with confidence and conviction.

You won’t have to look over your shoulder at anyone to know you’re moving in the right direction. You’ll have all the knowledge you need that forging your path is the right way to go. This is true whether you’ve been training several hours per day for many years, or whether you’ve just pushed away from the shore on your maiden voyage toward living the life of your dreams.

“I think that everything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and you put the work and time into it. I think your mind really controls everything.” — Michael Phelps

Compete, Win and Focus on You

Think about it like this — even in the sporting world, namely an Olympic event like swimming where it appears it is set up that it’s “You v.s. Them,” there’s still the need to focus on running your own race. Competition is a very unique and ultimately sophisticated topic to digest. I put forth to you that you should focus on achieving competitive greatness and making it a value you should aspire to every day.

But it’s equally as important to use that competitive energy on bettering yourself and focusing on doing the absolute best you can for yourself. The moment you start worrying or looking over your shoulder at what other people are doing, you lose focus. You lose time. What seems like a trivial second or two can completely shift the paradigm for how we see ourselves and what matters most.

It’s truly about immersing yourself in whatever you’re doing and getting “in the zone” in an effort to be your best. As you begin to build an app, does it really matter where you know or don’t know if someone else is trying to penetrate the same market you’re after? I believe that answer is a resounding, No. Timing may matter in some instances, but the best product always wins.

The best effort, combined with your natural talents, skills, goals, purpose and mission, is indestructible and all-powerful.

When you’re trying to reach that VP job at your marketing agency, financial services firm or law firm, it’s truly about you and not them. Incredibly, so many of us fail to understand this. We waste time comparing ourselves to others, when the only comparative analysis we need is to measure our progress against becoming the absolute best version of ourselves we should want to be.

Set goals. Set the bar very high. But don’t shift these things around for what you perceive others to be doing. This breeds envy and envy converts itself into frustration, anger, jealously, hatred and even laziness. Envy seems like it’s a convertible energy for good at first blush. But it always ends badly.

I go back to where I started — focusing on two of the world’s greatest swimmers and the fine line between winning and losing. Winner focus on their race. Losers focus on the race that the winners are running, and when they do it’s usually with negative energy. So, don’t worry about looking over your shoulder. The race is directly in front of you. Go full speed ahead.

Find Your Breakthrough

Join my newsletter and check out my Amazon Bestselling book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey. If you want to work with me, connect here and let me know how I can help you!

Run Your Own Race — Focus on What You Can Control and You Will Win Every Time was originally published in ART + marketing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The 3 Things the World’s Most Successful People Do Every Day

“Purpose is that feeling that you are part of something bigger than yourself, that you are needed, and that you have something better ahead. Purpose is what creates true happiness.” — Mark Zuckerberg

Everyone is looking for that magic formula or neatly prescribed list that lays out all the secrets of how to get exactly what you want. I’ve learned through my experience that it simply doesn’t exist. Everyone’s path to success is different, and in reality, there are hundreds of things that each individual follows that get them from point A to point B.

But that’s not to say there aren’t commonalities or particular attributes that each successful person follows. I’ve read countless books, studied the lives of CEO’s and business executives that I’ve worked with first-hand, and listened to speakers at famed conferences. I’ve aimed to find the ingredients that everyone shares that makes them successful. I’ve determined that if you really want to start a successful routine, you should begin by focusing on a few things.

You can’t “boil the ocean,” as the business cliche goes — it’s best to set small, incremental goals on your journey toward a bigger picture goal, objective and definition of success that aligns with your personal mission statement. Everything should tie back to what you truly want, as well as the values and game plan that speaks to exactly what will fulfill you and give you a sense of accomplishment.

Here are the three things that I’ve distilled and believe add significant value to your day — no matter your location, financial status, age, gender or level in your career. I hope you’ll assimilate these activities and practices into your daily approach as you aim to reach new heights.

1. Supercharge your mind and body at the beginning of each day

Yes, this means mentally, emotionally, spiritually and of course, physically. While it would be easy to think that mental exercises and stimulation are more important, the research shows that exercising your mind is just as important as physical activity. What it actually comes down to is “the amount of activity is more important for stimulating the brain than the type of activity,” according to Harvard Medical School instructor, Dr. Scott McGinnis.

In other words, consistency and repetition are paramount! Don’t get caught up in concerning yourself with the exactly right type of activity, or finding that panacea — because there is not just one solution. The way to supercharge your day may be watching an inspirational video in conjunction with reading 15 minutes of a great book to get you going.

But it may be that one-mile run that you do when you first wake up, or those push ups and crunches to get your blood flowing. It may be asking yourself a very simple philosophical question like Ben Franklin asked himself:

What good shall I do this day?

From there, the ideas start to flow. You can also practice meditation and deep-thinking in solitude, as well as exercising your faith in prayer or trust that your plans, hopes, goals and dreams will work out and that you will be fulfilled. All of these powerful routines breed confidence and self-assuredness that you will move on the right track toward accomplishing big things.

“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a YOU that you choose to be.” ~ Joy Page

2. Speak, Write and Do: Focus on Inspirational and Positive things that reinforce your Purpose and Mission

First things first — Be willing to take maximum ownership over your time. This begins by planning your day and setting goals. You don’t need to plan every minute, but you must allot time for creative thinking, goal-setting and relationship-building. Without these things, you do not have the foundation that you need. Your foundation should begin with your purpose, mission and values.

Defining a clear purpose for who you are and what you want to become is the surest mark of a successful leader. When you are intentional and clear about what you want, you have already won half the battle. From there, it’s a matter of staying positive, exercising great discipline and rigor to adhering to the activities that support your purpose. And then, staying positive and working hard to get them.

Develop a personal mission statement for yourself. Here’s mine:

To live each moment to the fullest by having a positive attitude, a smile and a genuine enjoyment for life, while giving everything I have to love the people and environment around me and make it a better place.

Once you have clarified your intentions, start speaking and writing these things down. Tell them to people you trust. Then, go do them. You have to start somewhere, and your foundation is the best place. From there, you have a spring board that will vault you into the doing part, which is where you really go for the win.

3. Don’t waste time; Don’t waste moments; Tie everything back to your responsibilities, ambitions, goals and serving those you love

I absolutely hate wasting time. It drives me crazy. I can barely wait sometimes for a webpage to load, and when it takes too long, I scribble ideas down on a notepad or OneNote, or think of a new activity that will add value to my life. It’s not necessarily that I’m unable to focus or that I lack attention — I just realize that time is the most valuable commodity. I learned this from Steve Jobs.

It’s time you start to integrate this belief and thinking into your repertoire.

Take advantage of savoring, embracing and immersing yourself into every moment of your day. This is of course easier said than done. None of us want to embrace sitting in traffic or trying to pay attention in a boring meeting. Heck, flipping through our Instagram or Twitter is way more entertaining! Maybe.

But when you begin to lose focus or start frittering away time, it can have great consequences in your life. You start to value time less and less. Be present in the moment, plan your day out and BUILD IN moments that will inspire you and propel you to keep pursuing your goals. Everything should tie back to your ambitions, goals and serving those who you love.

When you fill your calendar with things that you love, activities and responsibilities for people you love, and fun, new things to learn, you start empowering and driving yourself to persevere. This is critical and the secret to success for everyone from J.K. Rowling to Oprah Winfrey to Elon Musk and Denzel Washington.

When you practice these three things, you simply will not be denied. What you want will be yours. Now, get to work.

Find Your Breakthrough

Join my newsletter and check out my Amazon Bestselling book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey. If you want to work with me, connect here and let me know how I can help you!

The 3 Things the World’s Most Successful People Do Every Day was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Why You Feel Unsatisfied in Your Career (and How to Solve It)

Stress is absolutely killing our creativity and careers. It’s time to take the power back.

We sure do a great job of covering up our anxiety. Our stress. Our feelings of self-doubt, frustration, not fitting in and general dissatisfaction from the workplace, don’t we? The question that’s worth asking yourself is — at what cost? Now, trust me, this isn’t some treatise that you can just sift through that culminates in me telling you to, “Quit your job.” That’s trite. And it’s often not the best advice.

What I’m saying is, you have to be smart about identifying what’s holding you back, and how to equip yourself to transform your situation and build what you really want on the foundation of your current situation. Many of us in the workplace aren’t finding meaning in what we’re doing, despite some of us having cool perks like a ping pong table, soda machine or ability to drink happy hour beers on Fridays.

We want more than just the token amenities or feeling that millennials or young adults have to be specially catered to in some contrived way. We want a calling, a reason to keep moving forward and growing where we are, or that impulse to move on and carve out our own niche elsewhere, or on our own, will emerge even stronger.

One thing I’ve learned is that it’s extremely difficult to be your best, think creatively, have a strategic mindset and contribute confident, bold ideas when you’re stressed and full of doubt about your upward mobility in a job. A substantial portion of millennials (and many employees for that matter) are living with a lot of workplace anxiety.

“A BDA Morneau Shepell white paper discovered that 30% of working millennials have general anxiety.” Source: Psychology Today

We all have to start somewhere, and sometimes survival and financial means need to be satisfied at the risk of some lesser pleasures.But we should never sacrifice the meaning of our job or the opportunity for advancement in the name of just treading water. “Just getting by.” Because just getting by can snowball into far worse things.

It leads to anxiety and poor “hygeine factors” like dissatisfaction with our supervisors, low pay and nebulous job statuses — you know, where we never quite know where we fit in an organization, and we’re too far down in the hierarchy to even be privy to those whispers, much less conversations.

We’re also overworked and far too often, underpaid for the workload we’re asked to tackle. Take this Work Stress Survey finding and let that sink in for a minute:

“A 2013 finding from the Work Stress Survey showed, “more than eight in 10 employed Americans are stressed out by at least one thing about their jobs. Poor pay and increasing workloads were top sources of concern reported by American workers.” Source: HuffPost

What to Do About It

One thing I believe is that you forfeit the right to complain if you’re not at least spending some time pursuing that thing you truly love, even if it’s on the side. That doesn’t mean your feelings or reasons for being unsatisfied don’t matter. But I can tell you this — I’ve continued to hold a full-time professional job throughout most of my career, while I build my entrepreneurial life on the side. And I know many others who are living this life.

I’ve been successful. The time spent writing, coaching others, speaking, and also coaching high school basketball has enabled me to become the man I’ve always wanted to be. Maybe you’re already doing this, or observing the lives of many peers, or success stories like Ken Jeong, Andrea Bocelli or Joy Behar. These are all people who started in much different professions than the ones they’re in now.

Joy Behar was still teaching high school English at the age of 40!

Ken Jeong became a medical doctor in his late 20s, practicing medicine, and didn’t appear in his first film until his late 30s!

Andrea Bocelli was a defense attorney who worked into his mid-30s in the legal profession before leaving and letting his beautiful voice take him to the top of the musical world.

When you feel unsatisfied, you have to first look inside of you and think about why this is happening. Identify the things in your environment that are contributing to your feeling of inadequacy, stress or worry. How much of this is self-inflicted, and how much of what you’re experiencing requires you to make a change and move to the outside?

Sometimes leaving a job is the right move, and sometimes the adversity you’re facing in the moment is an immense opportunity and test designed to get you to overcome your emotions or an external challenge that will refine and strengthen you.

Pay close attention to the behaviors that are causing you stress, worry and concern. Observe what they are and understand them. Consciously plan your day around minimizing these and also facing your fears head-on.

Here are 5 Ways to Solve the Unsatisfied Problem and Begin Making Bold Progress Toward Your Ideal CareerWhen you’re feeling overwhelmed, determine whether there’s a more productive and efficient way to tackle your workload. There may not be, but maybe through your attitude, confidence and self-encouragement you can embrace your situation and make it competitive in a fun way. It’s not ideal, but embracing the struggle is sometimes the surest sign that you’re maturing and growing, while having the self-awareness and stamina to strive for something better.If you feel underpaid, if you feel undervalued and that you’re not a part of the strategic conversations where you are, then start leveraging your voice in a unique way with leadership at your company. Be proactive and take initiative — start first by testing your ideas out on social media and among friends.Assess your value by leveraging tools like Glassdoor and web research that will help you explore both entrepreneurial, consulting or traditional path positions. The right fit is out there. It just might not be via the conventional ways of thinking that existed 10 years ago. Be creative and start by imagining and planning for what you truly want.Leverage your skill set and use tools like Gallup’s Strength Finder to determine what you’re really good at. Invest in your strengths. Take a professional development course, learn a new software skill, get a certification or hands-on experience around a skill that inspires you. Then, begin researching how you can utilize that skill for higher monetary value.And don’t forget to take a deep breath. The end of your career is not near! It’s just beginning. One thing I’ve observed in high achieving millennials is that we put so much stress and burden on ourselves so early on. Be patient. Keep working. Play the long game. You have to let time play its part, while grinding and staying positive in your pursuit.

Be willing to take a shot! Indecision is crippling. So many people don’t understand why they’re not climbing the corporate ladder, or why they’re so unhappy in a job they thought would open new horizons and doors. This predicament is likely to continue when you don’t act — when you stay right where you are. Because then, you’re not growing. You’re not learning.

To feel satisfied and happy in your career, you’re going to have to take chances and get to the “Why” of what’s holding you back. From there, you need to build the ideal career in your mind first, then begin to act on it. It’s not going to happen immediately — it takes small steps. But when you do the work and design your future, you will reap the rewards you dream about today.

Find Your Breakthrough

Join my newsletter and check out my Amazon Bestselling book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey. If you want to work with me, connect here and let me know how I can help you!

Why You Feel Unsatisfied in Your Career (and How to Solve It) was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Louise Foerster Thank you very much for your kind words and for letting me know about my book.

Louise Foerster Thank you very much for your kind words and for letting me know about my book. That truly means a lot! I really appreciate the support and would love to know your thoughts. Good luck to you in your book writing endeavor and thanks for sharing this with me!