Christopher D. Connors's Blog, page 46

How to Keep Going and Find Your Breakthrough When It Feels Impossible

“The great lesson of my life is perseverance. Never give up.” — Louis Zamperini

Maybe you find yourself in a rut that doesn’t show any sign of ending anytime soon. Maybe it’s been this way for quite a long time. Helpless. Hopeless. Discouraged and without direction for what to do next. It can get easy to start wishing for some miracle to come. When things aren’t going our way, the worst thing we can do is lose hope. The worst thing we can do is give up.

The most common trait of the world’s most successful people is perseverance — the wherewithal to keep going for a cause they believe in. Across entrepreneurs, artists, soldiers, singers, athletes and businesswomen and men, the ability to never give up, continue pressing forward and doing so with belief and hope is the most powerful way to live a free life on your terms.

So many of us find ourselves at different points in our lives in a mental paralysis. We freeze-up. We don’t know what to do or why it seems bad things continue to happen to us. This leads to inaction, indecision and worst of all, a blanketing fear that keeps us stuck in neutral. I’ve found in my own life after I’ve overcome failure and adversity, that it’s truly better to take small steps backward than it is to stay stuck right where you are.

This mental paralysis is fueled by emotions like fear and worry, though anxiety and doubt also play their part. It becomes easy to start pointing the proverbial finger at ourselves, which further pushes us into doubting our purpose in life. I talk a lot about values and purpose for a reason. Because when everything around us seems to be negative and going wrong, we need a foundation to turn back to for hope, confidence and direction.

When you set your mind on living a life you can truly be proud of, as well as setting achievable goals, you’re on the pathway to success. When the ruts of life come and misery seems unavoidable, you’re able to remind yourself of the good times and the promise of the future that’s to come.

I share the story today that some of you may already know, of a hero whose heart, perseverance and grit are unmatched in history. The story of this man’s life is one of remarkable perseverance that carried him from near-death experiences to remarkable breakthroughs that shaped his destiny. If you don’t know about Louis Zamperini, you’re in for quite the journey.

The story of Louis Zamperini

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other. — Walter Elliot

Left for dead. Starving. Dehydrated. A long, long way from home. Even from dry land. Welcome to the life of Louis Zamperini in the summer of 1943. Laura Hillenbrand’s brilliant book, Unbroken, is the true story of this American Olympic and World War II hero.

The book describes the remarkable courage and perseverance he showed throughout his life.

Zamperini was born into a family of Italian immigrants in Olean, New York, in 1917. The family later relocated to Torrance, California, just south of Los Angeles. From a very young age, Zamperini had to fight for everything he had. He and his brother were the targets of bullies, largely because they did not speak English. He grew up angry and defensive, getting in fights in his neighborhood and vigorously defending himself.

He also grew up in a very competitive athletic environment which gave him the outlet he needed to shine. He became a track star and later ran in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. He appeared destined to become a world champion someday. Instead, he chose to serve his country.

Following the crash of his bomber plane over the Pacific Ocean in May of 1943, Zamperini had to fight to stay alive. Literally. Zamperini fended off death at every turn. He was nearly eaten by sharks. He fought back with his bare hands and preserved his life, as well as the lives of his fellow soldiers. He caught fish with makeshift equipment, gaining the necessary sustenance just to stay alive.

Emergency actions and “by any means necessary” survival tactics became an every-minute way of life for Zamperini. He was a fighter. He refused to give up or give in to anything. His fight would continue for over two years.

He was stranded at sea for 47 days on a raft and survived. Then, he became a prisoner of war in several Japanese camps until the end of the war in August of 1945. He survived and won his freedom.

Louis Zamperini survived unfathomable conditions and barbaric torture during his days as a POW. He refused to give in to defeat. He had been a competitor and fighter his entire life. He had dreams of continuing his track career following the war. He wanted to build a life filled with competitive pursuits and exciting business ventures.

Starvation and dehydration somehow evaded him. He survived life on the raft. He suffered dehumanization, humiliation, and mental and physical torture in the prisoner camps. Despite all this, Zamperini would not give up or surrender his will to anyone or anything.

The man’s willpower was indestructible. Combined with his belief that he would survive, Zamperini showed the remarkable power of the human spirit. Even in the midst of unimaginable horrors, he was able to persevere and make it out of the war alive.

Keep Going

“The path from dreams to success does exist. May you have the vision to find it, the courage to get on to it, and the perseverance to follow it.” — Kalpana Chawla

For some, maybe this is an extreme example. But we use extremes as the baseline to help us define what is and isn’t possible. Surviving mental, physical and emotional horrors? Zamperini proved that no conditions were too harsh. When the power of our human spirit is operating at its peak, we can take on any challenge.

Maybe you’ve found yourself needing to change careers. Maybe you’re just trying to survive the loss of a family member or loved one. I’ve found myself in both predicaments recently. At times it can feel like our world is caving in. Yet there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.

You’re surely familiar with the concept of reinventing yourself. I’d encourage you to reinvent your thinking. Reinvent the way you respond emotionally to the stimuli, actions and events in your life. You can always choose to be positive. You always have the power of faith and the mental and emotional capacity to hope that your situation will get better.

When you believe that it will — it will. The universe has an amazing way of letting us know we’re on the right track when we steel our mind to stay positive and keep going. Faith alone will not get you there. You have to want it and not let any outside circumstances deter you. Let adversity and defeat become your best friend.

You truly grow the most out of the toughest times. You’re best prepared to emerge from these challenging moments when you refuse to compromise with life’s roadblocks. If you’re willing to power forward, change course where needed and find comfort in the uncertain, you will live a life that offers you great abundance and happiness, perhaps beyond your wildest dreams.

Find Your Way

Join my newsletter for inspiring content and check out my book, The Value of You . These resources will lead you to the life you most desire to live. If you’re interested in working with me try me here .

How to Keep Going and Find Your Breakthrough When It Feels Impossible was originally published in ART + marketing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The Most Important Mental Shift You Need to Increase Your Productivity

“We all have the power to pull ourselves up to keep going.” — Richard Branson

If productivity were just a series of steps — a paint by numbers exercise — then we’d all be functioning like efficient AI machines. It would be easy to master the course. But we would also feel robotic and unchallenged. Despite productivity experts promising us that it is a science and not an art, that’s not entirely the truth.

You need the routine. The consistency. But most importantly, you need the creativity to help get you unstuck first, in order to propel you in the direction of delivering high-level performance. Creative imagination drives ideas, which lead to thoughts, constructive plans and the ability to develop the framework for a routine.

The intent of this article is not to share the tools and techniques of what makes you successful and productive, as there are plenty of those on the Internet. But rather, to promote the thought leadership required to become more productive. Productivity truly, in its simplest form, should be defined as:

Creativity meets Routine meets Consistency.

Without any of these key components, there is no productivity.

There’s a lot of great articles and literature out there about the routines and productivity rules of many successful entrepreneurs, businesswomen and thought leaders. I’ve profited from these lists, and I have no doubt you have as well. Just know that “checking the box” on a few simple tips won’t cut it. You must coach yourself to make a change in how you see yourself, your work, the management of your time and how you inspire yourself to act.

Getting Unstuck

Stop waiting for perfect conditions to launch a great project. Immediate action fuels a positive feedback loop that drives even more action. — Robin Sharma

Many of us spend far too much time beating ourselves up about how and why we seem to do things wrong. When we don’t reach our desired goals in a short amount of time, we start soul-searching, looking for a cure for what ails us. We self-examine, we blame ourselves and highlight all our deficiencies.

Now ask yourself this question — What good does the blame-game really do? For one it hurts our self-esteem. It stifles enthusiasm, which is needed to drive creativity and action. The best way to become more productive is to focus on making a behavioral change. That begins in your mind.

Author of the book, Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths, Tim Butler talks about the ways to make a change and how that begins in the mind with understanding our place in the world:

“What impasse requires of us is to realize that our old models, our old ways of thinking about things, our old ways of feeling about things, simply are no longer working. So impasse requires, demands that we stop and say, my way of understanding the world and myself is no longer working. I’ve got to dig deeper. I’ve got to find a new way of understanding the world and my place in it.” — Tim Butler; Source: HBR

You cannot keep going and repeating the same things that haven’t worked and expect new and different outcomes. You surely know the cliche by now: the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You must be the one that drives change. And you must empower yourself to think differently to find new ideas that will lead to a new routine that gets you on the right track.

We need to have a productivity routine that energizes and inspires us each day. Routines don’t have to be boring. And frankly, the moment you do have a boring routine, you’re in trouble. You’re not going to feel motivated to want to keep going. You’ll find less desire to grow, learn and continue fueling your journey and as a result, you’ll be less successful and stagnate.

So essentially we have to get stuck before we can grow. Impasse demands that think deeply in a radically different way. It gives us the opportunity to think of new methods, opportunities, relationships and situations to put ourselves in. This creativity and curiosity inspires productivity. It gets our brains moving and this synergy, before long, helps us to stop feeling sorry about our situation.

Have a Plan

I’ve learned through research and working with top executives that productivity is about about breaking the pace of what’s not working, then focusing your performance on what will work. To become more productive, determine the root cause of what’s keeping you stuck, while developing a rhythm for repetition and consistency of planning and doing

Author of the book, I Know How She Does It, Laura Vanderkam talks about productivity from a planning standpoint. The way we develop the routine AND consistency is through planning in advance. We must be prepared. We must be concerned with the moment, but always looking ahead to the future. Get ahead by planning the night before or at the beginning of your work day.

Vanderkam says:

“Plot out what you’re going to do when you get to work, that way you can capture that first burst of energy when you show up at work and use it to tackle something important. The best time to do this is Friday afternoon or Sunday evening. Friday afternoon is not the most productive of times as is, so repurpose it as planning time. Or try Sunday night, when you’re already in workweek mode.”

Motion creates emotion! Deep thinking fuels planning. While plans are meant to be modified, it doesn’t diminish the importance of starting somewhere. Planning prevents poor performance, and more importantly protects us from just “jumping in” to situations that we’re ill-equipped to handle. Productivity is always driven by planning.

Breaking the Habit

Ultimately, the most important thing you can do to find your productivity breakthrough is to break the habit of what’s not working. In other words — get out of a vicious cycle of repetition to find a stimulating, more effective form of routine. You have to “stop the flood” and use your determination and brainpower to decide to step back, think things through, then game plan for shifting course.

A prime example of this is setting reminders on your smartphone (ironically enough), to stop using your smartphone so much. Using the Pomodoro technique to budget your time more wisely to not waste time. That begins with where you are today. It starts with small changes, as this Harvard Business Review article beautifully articulates:

“…Becoming more productive is more like losing weight than memorizing the presidents’ names — it is the product of behavior or lifestyle change, not (only) knowledge. As a result, the key to becoming more productive is changing small behaviors (i.e., developing new habits) and sticking with those changes over time.”

So be willing to change. Be a big enough person to embrace change! The change will drive you to a new routine, which can always be modified and re-assessed to determine how well you’re performing. I’ll close with remarks from Mr. Plummer, in the aforementioned HBR article. Make sure you have goals, but have a plan, an open mindset and a willingness to change.

Your productivity depends on it

“… Lots of us spend our days developing strategic plans for our own companies, or helping clients do so, and yet fail to take a strategic approach to improving our own productivity. As most of us know, any good strategy involves setting goals, developing a plan for achieving those goals, and tracking progress towards those goals. The same is true for productivity. Yet most of us don’t have sustainable productivity goals, much less a plan for achieving them.”

Keep Going

Join my newsletter and check out my book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey.

The Most Important Mental Shift You Need to Increase Your Productivity was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This Life Skill is More Vital to Your Happiness Than Any Other

“While the valiant might lose many, many times, the object of the valiant is to persevere until victory.” — Eric Greitens

Here’s a harsh life truth that you’ll never hear in your formative years — there is a very high probability you will not discover what you truly want to do when you’re young. The life you want — the one that will bring you equanimity, joy and splendor — will reveal itself to you gradually throughout the course of your life.

This test of time will occasionally be glorious, and it will also challenge you to your core. Your quest to find yourself will lead you into hobbies, schools, jobs and relationships you couldn’t have imagined when you were young.

If it seems that things are taking “too long,” know it won’t be out of lack of desire or joy for life. It will take you time to learn what job, career, hobby or activity you will choose to fill your schedule. That thing that combines your passion with determination and a track record that says — I’m good at this. I know it. And so does everyone else.

That’s fine. In this age of “winning,” life is surely not won in just one month or one year. The journey of success is as old as time. Those who continue to grow in intellect, who search for knowledge, who choose to be lifelong learners, who never, ever, ever give up on finding happiness and success will win. And victory, or success, or fulfillment, however you want to name it, is defined and determined by you.

It always will be.

The Good, The Bad and What’s Next

“Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” — Julie Andrews

No matter how much our digital, vastly interconnected world continues to push the limits of social judgment, pressure and identification, it simply won’t matter if you resist these temptations, and allow your mind to control your destiny. From there, once you’ve forged your plan, determined what it is you want and endlessly worked to become great at that thing — continue to keep doing it for all your days in this world.

That is a blessing. It’s a gift. You’ll only know it once you’re living it.

Don’t get caught up in trying to have things all figured out at once. The beauty of your life’s journey is that you’ll learn through the process of elimination what you truly love, and what isn’t worth your time. Through opportunities, simply by showing up and expressing a hearty interest, you’ll learn what inspires, motivates and lights the fire inside of you.

You’ll also learn what leads you to boredom, what frustrates you and what you know you struggle with learning and grasping. You’ll learn what you’re destined NOT to do. This is absolutely as important, if not more important, than what you love most. The sooner you discover this, the less time you’ll spend in pain, anxiety and hurt. You’ll avoid wasted time. And spend your time on the good stuff.

The Thing is The Thing

Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. — Thomas Carlyle

Let me preface the rest of this piece with this very important statement:

Perseverance is sometimes mistaken. To never give up when you’re doing the wrong thing is foolish. Only a crazy person would continue doing the same wrong thing over and over again expecting a positive and different result. That, as the cliche goes, is the definition of insanity.

So it’s reasonable to say that perseverance is all about finding your right thing. Doing you and continuing through both the good times and bad. Adversity, setbacks and doubt will be no match when you believe in yourself and you understand that the “long game” is the only one worth playing. The instant gratification quick-win scheme you’re being sold is for the foolish and naive.

One of the beautiful things about perseverance is the more you buy-in to this all-powerful value, the more your thought about the beauty of life evolves. Life is magnanimous. You start to believe this and have this revealed to you once you become more optimistic about continuing to forge forward through the good times and the bad.

Speaking of evolution, I thought a fantastic example about one of the most famous figures in history was well suited for this piece. Most people know of Charles Darwin as the man who helped to establish the theory of evolution, which spoke about natural selection and where the species of life came from. Few realize just how long it took the man to get to the point of putting his work out for public consumption.

On the Origin of Species was published in 1859 by Charles Darwin when he was 50 years old. 50! Don’t be too harsh on yourself when you’re a little less than famous at the age of 28! Darwin traveled the world as a young man during his early-mid 20s, gathering much of the information he needed to form the basis of his theory.

Still, he had his own doubts. He had doubts on what others would think of his “radical” new scientific research. The man was far ahead of his time and skeptics were everywhere. But he believed passionately in what he was doing and he kept moving forward.

Darwin’s five-year voyage around the world on HMS Beagle, which ended in 1836, provided him with invaluable research that contributed to the development of his theory of evolution and natural selection. Concerned, however, about the public and ecclesiastical acceptance of his deeply radical idea, he did not present his theory on evolution until 1858… The next year, Darwin published his seminal work, “The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection.” Source: History Channel

Over 20 years after he made his way around the world, Darwin finally entered the spotlight. He loved nature. But he didn’t know where it would lead him. The man spent the bulk of his years following his voyage around the world writing on geology! It took him a while to find his thing.

Darwin continued to advance his hypothesis and seek worldly acceptance throughout the latter stages of his life. As the years passed, his research on evolution began to be accepted as fact by society. Charles Darwin meticulously researched something he was passionate and fascinated by, and persevered at a later age to advance a revolutionary breakthrough in biology.

Know Who You Are So You Can Rise

You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it. — Maya Angelou

In my own life, I’ve learned to grow and persevere against both personal and professional adversity. I’ve had my heart broken. I pressed forward and found the woman of my dreams. I’ve been rejected from publications where I’d like my writing. I’ve kept writing and found ones I love to write for. I’ve been fired from jobs. I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and dared to find the next opportunity.

Does this sound like you?

I’ve used these moments as life-changing turning points. It’s driven me to become a bestselling author and family man. I forge forward every day, sometime in big steps, sometimes in small steps, to build a life I can be proud of, firmly on the foundation of what matters most to me.

Fame? Fortune? 450,000 Instagram followers or a millionaire founder of a super-successful tech startup? These lofty aspirations and titles are yours if you declare that you want to do them and continue working toward them each day with dedication, intelligent work and perseverance. Just know you should take your time. Know that even if this is what you want, it’s not going to happen right away. It may not reveal itself at age 19.

And that’s just fine. Life is more fun that way. There’s simply nothing as invigorating as continuing to get to know yourself, your growth as a woman or man, and the lifelong process of self-discovery that will lead you to love, happiness and stretching the limits of what you ever could have imagined was possible. Keep going and find yourself on this remarkable journey called life.

Find Your Way

Join my newsletter for inspiring content and check out my bestselling book, The Value of You . These resources will lead you to the life you most desire to live. If you’re interested in working with me try me here .

This Life Skill is More Vital to Your Happiness Than Any Other was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

5 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself for Pursuing the Life You Truly Want

“Your job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen for you, but to open the door in your head and when the doors open in real life, just walk through it. Don’t worry if you miss your cue. There will always be another door opening. They keep opening.” — Jim Carrey

There’s nothing worse than doing something wrong, not enjoying yourself while doing it, but hanging on because you think it’s “the right thing to do.” This one sentence, at times, came to define a lot of my professional life. Maybe you’re going through the same thing now, or perhaps you’ve survived the storm. Know this — suffering through this without mustering up the courage to change can cause damaging ripple effects throughout your life.

I start here to with some personal context that comes to define the lives of so many of us — for far too long. The truth is, all of us are going to struggle. All of us will suffer. It’s unavoidable. It’s not about preventing these things from happening, but rather having a game plan for how to manage, adjust and break through to creating a bolder, better picture for ourselves.

Never thought I’d share that one of the most powerful speeches I’ve seen on life, purpose and direction is actually from funny man, Jim Carrey. Do yourself a favor and watch his commencement speech at Maharishi University, shared here:

https://medium.com/media/47ec182448a913b3ac23c0028d563921/href

There’s a lot of great truths in there. I continue to come back to this one:

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

Meditate and think deeply on those powerful words. Surely, you’re not someone who has found wild success at everything you’ve tried. But even before that thought, I doubt you’ve ever loved everything you’ve done. In fact, maybe there are things you’ve actively chosen to do that you knew you didn’t love, yet that mental alarm inside of saying, “Nooooo!” still didn’t prevent you from entering into a situation that didn’t turn out for the best.

Now, I’m a big believer that difficult and challenging times define us. Adversity sharpens and strengthens us. But there’s also unnecessary struggles and situations we can avoid if we simply begin with pursuing a path, job, venture or career that we actually love. It can start with a thought, the knowledge that we enjoy or love an activity, or simply observing that we see someone else doing something that we love and thinking — “I want to be a part of that!”

I go back to his powerful words above. You can FAIL at doing something you don’t like, just because you’re too afraid to set your sights and do something you truly love. The example Carrey gives in his speech comes from the real-life story of his father! His father was fired from a “safe” accounting job, which he actually hated, but thought was the sure thing. The safe path. Turns out, he was wrong.

And fortunately, his son decided to learn from this poignant life moment, and follow his true dream. It’s worked out to be a remarkable, successful career. No one ever could have predicted the acclaim and success that Carrey has enjoyed, but what’s easier to predict is the assumption that he would have found success doing something that he truly loves and is passionate about. Whether it had only been just a side-gig or hobby, or of course a true profession as an actor and comedian.

“I can tell you from experience, the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.”

1. What am I doing in my life right now that is allowing me to have a positive, transformative effect on others?

I bet there are more people than you think — who are in your life right now — whose lives you can influence and perhaps change forever. You may not think they’re open to it. But maybe the truth is, you’re not yet open to it. Walk through the door and begin by asking yourself what you can do to change your professional and personal environments for the better.

How can you be more positive and more adventurous in challenging yourself to do more for others, while simultaneously improving your own circumstances? The more you think about this and use it to guide you, the more likely you will feel compelled to take action and do things for the benefit of others. The results will add amazing richness and value to your life.

“You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts and worrying about the pathway to the future but all there will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment.”

2. What are the top three things you are ignoring in your life right now, that you truly LOVE to do most?

I wonder if you find there’s something you’re ignoring, suppressing or resisting that is so powerful, so moving that you cannot afford to put off any longer? This one struck the greatest chord with me. Maybe you know the feeling. As Carrey found with his father, then learned from, he didn’t want his fate sealed by doing something that he truly didn’t love. The results can be equally as bad as attempting something big and bold, that we may perceive as more of a “long shot.”

Don’t get caught up in settling for second-best. Trying to go the risk-free route in the hope that this will yield a higher “life return” is a bad move. You immediately set the ceiling very low. You stop imagining and dreaming, and begin to settle. Settling for less is a huge mistake. Doing what you love and working your heart out for it is always a great move.

3. What short term “losses” are you willing to accept to reap amazing, future gains?

The best lesson you can learn from this speech — and one of life’s most powerful gifts of wisdom — is that following your heart, crushing fear and having an intelligent plan to lead you is the best path forward. This means that you take on greater risk. Increase your risk threshold. And don’t be afraid to do so.

This never, ever seems easy. And some people will outright ignore this path because of situations and circumstances for where they are in life. Trust me, I know. As the father to two young children, the idea of dropping everything and going to pursue some dreams simply isn’t practical. It would be foolish and shortsighted. The key word being, “some.”

But as I’ve learned, to get to where I’ve truly wanted to be, I absolutely had to take some chances that friends, colleagues and even some family scoffed at. I didn’t care. Because I trusted my intuition and the deep, intelligent thought I gave my situation.

The longer you “kick the can” down the road, the longer you ignore the wishes and dreams of your heart; the longer you live someone else’s life, which is NEVER a smart decision. Because once you begin to do this, the more warped your mental and emotional reality truly becomes. You experience greater frustration and anxiety, and frankly, the results aren’t pretty, either.

When you go for your biggest dream(s), you likely won’t experience immediate success. You will fail. Make mistakes. Get wounded. You’ll begin to question yourself. But when you have a firm purpose of amendment, when you’re operating off strong values and powerful faith in yourself, you are built to last. You can survive the short-term losses because you know in your heart that they always lead to long-term wins.

It gets so much harder to succeed when your mind and heart aren’t aligned with your purpose and mission. The wins will come. They may not always come when you think they should or could, but don’t let that frustrate you. Keep going.

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Eliot

4. What is your risk threshold and how can you avoid playing things conservatively?

Playing things conservatively isn’t always a bad idea. It’s not necessarily bad advice for a moment, a season or perhaps even with your finances, at times. But an overall risk-averse approach to all areas of your life leads to boredom, disappointment and an increase of fear. Simply put — it leads to eventual failure.

The reason that it’s hard to detect is because the conservative approach doesn’t reveal itself to be failure immediately. It’s a drawn out, elongated process that pulls you away from what you desire most. It disguises itself as the “right” approach, but in reality it’s ripping your inspiration right out of you.

Ironically enough, your attempt to mitigate fear through a conservative approach only ends up maintaining or building your fear to a greater level.

By not pursuing your dreams — by ignoring and denying yourself from becoming who you truly are, you suffocate and stifle the powerful voice inside of you that yearns to be heard both for yourself and the world.

You may think staying in that relationship that you know isn’t meant to be is the right thing. Because leaving will cause pain. The short-term blow will feel devastating. But what about the long-term? What about slowly hurting, rotting away inside and feeling a longing for something greater? What about the thought that staying still can truly eliminate your future happiness?

The same can be said for our jobs. In case you haven’t noticed — regardless of your current age — the world has changed dramatically in the past 20 years. We’re still within a 20-year window of the emergence of the Internet as a total gamechanger for both personal and professional business pursuits and happiness. You can instantly start your own business.

You can learn from others on how to do so successfully. You can find a life partner, friend, new hobby or observe precisely how to study a subject, play an instrument and even to learn how to speak another language.

Living with fear destroys the moment. And as Jim says above, it’s the moment that matters. The past is gone, and while memories remain, it’s what we do now that matters more than anything else. By living in the present moment, if you do it the right way with intelligent planning and a firm purpose, you continue to sow seeds for your future. Future moments. It’s always the moment that defines us.

5. What do I see as my “end game” for what I want most in my life?

You can have what you want (within reason). I can tell you from personal and professional experience — and observing the lives of wildly successful people — that your biggest dreams become real when you start to get specific about exactly what it is you want. Do you want to own your own art gallery? Draft the plan FIRST in your mind, then capture it digitally or on paper. Save it.

Keep coming back to it over and over again. Refine it. Improve upon it. Keep building and creating the mental architecture in your mind, that will surely need modifications and improvements over time. You absolutely need a clear end goal that you can think, speak, write and heck, even tweet over your life. Everything becomes more and more real with a plan and a purpose.

Find the Answers

Join my newsletter for inspiring content and check out my bestselling book, The Value of You . These resources will lead you to the life you most desire to live. If you’re interested in working with me try me here .

5 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself for Pursuing the Life You Truly Want was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Well written, Tim Denning.

Well written, Tim Denning. Found myself in agreement with all of this. You have to get specific about what you want. Otherwise, no one is going to give a ___.

5 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself for Pursuing the Life You Truly Want

“Your job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen for you, but to open the door in your head and when the doors open in real life, just walk through it. Don’t worry if you miss your cue. There will always be another door opening. They keep opening.” — Jim Carrey

There’s nothing worse than doing something wrong, not enjoying yourself while doing it, but hanging on because you think it’s “the right thing to do.” This one sentence, at times, came to define a lot of my professional life. Maybe you’re going through the same thing now, or perhaps you’ve survived the storm. Know this — suffering through this without mustering up the courage to change can cause damaging ripple effects throughout your life.

I start here to with some personal context that comes to define the lives of so many of us — for far too long. The truth is, all of us are going to struggle. All of us will suffer. It’s unavoidable. It’s not about preventing these things from happening, but rather having a game plan for how to manage, adjust and break through to creating a bolder, better picture for ourselves.

Never thought I’d share that one of the most powerful speeches I’ve seen on life, purpose and direction is actually from funny man, Jim Carrey. Do yourself a favor and watch his commencement speech at Maharishi University, shared here:

https://medium.com/media/47ec182448a913b3ac23c0028d563921/href

There’s a lot of great truths in there. I continue to come back to this one:

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

Meditate and think deeply on those powerful words. Surely, you’re not someone who has found wild success at everything you’ve tried. But even before that thought, I doubt you’ve ever loved everything you’ve done. In fact, maybe there are things you’ve actively chosen to do that you knew you didn’t love, yet that mental alarm inside of saying, “Nooooo!” still didn’t prevent you from entering into a situation that didn’t turn out for the best.

Now, I’m a big believer that difficult and challenging times define us. Adversity sharpens and strengthens us. But there’s also unnecessary struggles and situations we can avoid if we simply begin with pursuing a path, job, venture or career that we actually love. It can start with a thought, the knowledge that we enjoy or love an activity, or simply observing that we see someone else doing something that we love and thinking — “I want to be a part of that!”

I go back to his powerful words above. You can FAIL at doing something you don’t like, just because you’re too afraid to set your sights and do something you truly love. The example Carrey gives in his speech comes from the real-life story of his father! His father was fired from a “safe” accounting job, which he actually hated, but thought was the sure thing. The safe path. Turns out, he was wrong.

And fortunately, his son decided to learn from this poignant life moment, and follow his true dream. It’s worked out to be a remarkable, successful career. No one ever could have predicted the acclaim and success that Carrey has enjoyed, but what’s easier to predict is the assumption that he would have found success doing something that he truly loves and is passionate about. Whether it had only been just a side-gig or hobby, or of course a true profession as an actor and comedian.

“I can tell you from experience, the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.”

1. What am I doing in my life right now that is allowing me to have a positive, transformative effect on others?

I bet there are more people than you think — who are in your life right now — whose lives you can influence and perhaps change forever. You may not think they’re open to it. But maybe the truth is, you’re not yet open to it. Walk through the door and begin by asking yourself what you can do to change your professional and personal environments for the better.

How can you be more positive and more adventurous in challenging yourself to do more for others, while simultaneously improving your own circumstances? The more you think about this and use it to guide you, the more likely you will feel compelled to take action and do things for the benefit of others. The results will add amazing richness and value to your life.

“You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts and worrying about the pathway to the future but all there will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment.”

2. What are the top three things you are ignoring in your life right now, that you truly LOVE to do most?

I wonder if you find there’s something you’re ignoring, suppressing or resisting that is so powerful, so moving that you cannot afford to put off any longer? This one struck the greatest chord with me. Maybe you know the feeling. As Carrey found with his father, then learned from, he didn’t want his fate sealed by doing something that he truly didn’t love. The results can be equally as bad as attempting something big and bold, that we may perceive as more of a “long shot.”

Don’t get caught up in settling for second-best. Trying to go the risk-free route in the hope that this will yield a higher “life return” is a bad move. You immediately set the ceiling very low. You stop imagining and dreaming, and begin to settle. Settling for less is a huge mistake. Doing what you love and working your heart out for it is always a great move.

3. What short term “losses” are you willing to accept to reap amazing, future gains?

The best lesson you can learn from this speech — and one of life’s most powerful gifts of wisdom — is that following your heart, crushing fear and having an intelligent plan to lead you is the best path forward. This means that you take on greater risk. Increase your risk threshold. And don’t be afraid to do so.

This never, ever seems easy. And some people will outright ignore this path because of situations and circumstances for where they are in life. Trust me, I know. As the father to two young children, the idea of dropping everything and going to pursue some dreams simply isn’t practical. It would be foolish and shortsighted. The key word being, “some.”

But as I’ve learned, to get to where I’ve truly wanted to be, I absolutely had to take some chances that friends, colleagues and even some family scoffed at. I didn’t care. Because I trusted my intuition and the deep, intelligent thought I gave my situation.

The longer you “kick the can” down the road, the longer you ignore the wishes and dreams of your heart; the longer you live someone else’s life, which is NEVER a smart decision. Because once you begin to do this, the more warped your mental and emotional reality truly becomes. You experience greater frustration and anxiety, and frankly, the results aren’t pretty, either.

When you go for your biggest dream(s), you likely won’t experience immediate success. You will fail. Make mistakes. Get wounded. You’ll begin to question yourself. But when you have a firm purpose of amendment, when you’re operating off strong values and powerful faith in yourself, you are built to last. You can survive the short-term losses because you know in your heart that they always lead to long-term wins.

It gets so much harder to succeed when your mind and heart aren’t aligned with your purpose and mission. The wins will come. They may not always come when you think they should or could, but don’t let that frustrate you. Keep going.

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” — T.S. Eliot

4. What is your risk threshold and how can you avoid playing things conservatively?

Playing things conservatively isn’t always a bad idea. It’s not necessarily bad advice for a moment, a season or perhaps even with your finances, at times. But an overall risk-averse approach to all areas of your life leads to boredom, disappointment and an increase of fear. Simply put — it leads to eventual failure.

The reason that it’s hard to detect is because the conservative approach doesn’t reveal itself to be failure immediately. It’s a drawn out, elongated process that pulls you away from what you desire most. It disguises itself as the “right” approach, but in reality it’s ripping your inspiration right out of you.

Ironically enough, your attempt to mitigate fear through a conservative approach only ends up maintaining or building your fear to a greater level.

By not pursuing your dreams — by ignoring and denying yourself from becoming who you truly are, you suffocate and stifle the powerful voice inside of you that yearns to be heard both for yourself and the world.

You may think staying in that relationship that you know isn’t meant to be is the right thing. Because leaving will cause pain. The short-term blow will feel devastating. But what about the long-term? What about slowly hurting, rotting away inside and feeling a longing for something greater? What about the thought that staying still can truly eliminate your future happiness?

The same can be said for our jobs. In case you haven’t noticed — regardless of your current age — the world has changed dramatically in the past 20 years. We’re still within a 20-year window of the emergence of the Internet as a total gamechanger for both personal and professional business pursuits and happiness. You can instantly start your own business.

You can learn from others on how to do so successfully. You can find a life partner, friend, new hobby or observe precisely how to study a subject, play an instrument and even to learn how to speak another language.

Living with fear destroys the moment. And as Jim says above, it’s the moment that matters. The past is gone, and while memories remain, it’s what we do now that matters more than anything else. By living in the present moment, if you do it the right way with intelligent planning and a firm purpose, you continue to sow seeds for your future. Future moments. It’s always the moment that defines us.

5. What do I see as my “end game” for what I want most in my life?

You can have what you want (within reason). I can tell you from personal and professional experience — and observing the lives of wildly successful people — that your biggest dreams become real when you start to get specific about exactly what it is you want. Do you want to own your own art gallery? Draft the plan FIRST in your mind, then capture it digitally or on paper. Save it.

Keep coming back to it over and over again. Refine it. Improve upon it. Keep building and creating the mental architecture in your mind, that will surely need modifications and improvements over time. You absolutely need a clear end goal that you can think, speak, write and heck, even tweet over your life. Everything becomes more and more real with a plan and a purpose.

Find the Answers

Join my newsletter for inspiring content that will lead you to the life you most desire to live. If you’re interested in working with me try me here .

5 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself for Pursuing the Life You Truly Want was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Stop Lying to Yourself. The Truth Will Change Your Life

“No legacy is so rich as honesty.” — William Shakespeare

You’re not a social media star.

You’re not a Linked in “Influencer.”

You’re not the best in your industry. Whatever your industry is.

You’re not the leading voice on “______”

You’re not “crushing it” in your entrepreneurial start-up venture. Heck, you may not even know exactly what a start-up is.

You’re not a “rock star.” Dave Grohl is a rock star. You’re not. Trust me.

You’re not nearly as bad as you think you are. You’re not “the worst ever.” But you’re also not nearly as “good” as you think you are at whatever you’re doing.

You’re not destined to keep going on whatever foolish decision you may have made, as if you’re eternally damned to never change course and turnaround.

You are never, ever doomed because of one simple mistake. You must turn the page and begin anew.

You’re not lazy. You’re just living on old ideas. Hit the “Refresh” button and start again.

Your biggest “Win” will not define your life. It will lead you to your next bigger Win.

Begin by telling yourself the truth. Tell yourself the truth in your personal relationships, your career, your thought life and in your most important relationship — the one you have with yourself. This is where the greatest, most fantastical and dangerous lies are told. Make a shift. Start telling the truth. Level-up and eliminate the B.S.

Honesty is paramount and it’s always where you need to begin for both your success, happiness and self-esteem. Confidence comes from trusting yourself, which is different from faith. But confidence also come from believing in yourself, by having faith that what you’ve already done will help you build to what you’re doing now — to what you will do in your future.

Your past, present and future are connected by your thought life ; this means your opinion of yourself and the dealing of the facts at hand to tell yourself and others the truth about you. This is as certain as how you comport yourself in public, as it is in the way you handle yourself when no one is looking. That’s called character. And your character will always define you.

Whether you realize it or not.

Invest in building your character. Every. Day. Tell the truth. Stop lying and thinking that you’re going to achieve your parents’ ideal vision of who they want you to be. Stop lying and thinking that you’re going to achieve some B.S. vision of what you think will make you happy. Let your heart lead you on that one. Let your intuition sniff out the B.S. It always does.

Stop lying to yourself about some job that you perceive society will care about, but you truly couldn’t give a damn about. Stop lying about your strengths, weaknesses and even your doubts.

If you start by doubting yourself, how can you ever truly believe you will do anything? You have to believe and have vision, which leads to clarity, which enables you to keep creating the mental architecture you will need to position the pieces in your life in such a way that will bring you joy and satisfaction.

If you’ve never truly given things your best effort, then stop lying to yourself and saying that you “gave it your best shot.” Where has that gotten you? Further down the long road of excuses.

Begin now. Begin giving things the best effort you can NOW. Begin giving things the clearest, crispest thought you can NOW.

Experience. What is it? It’s a baseline. It’s an account of what you’ve done, but by no means does it have to define your future. By no means does your experience dictate that you have to continue trudging forward from whatever mile marker you’re at in your mind. Take the good. Learn from the bad. Ditch the unnecessary baggage. And then decide where you really are on the journey.

So many of us get on a path and start going along, letting our experiences dictate the terms for our lives. We don’t actively choose what we truly want, but rather we compromise based on the choices at hand with the directionless way we’re moving. We tell ourselves the lie. We tell others the lie. Then, we begrudgingly and often unknowingly live it. We bury the truth.

Don’t compromise with your life. Never compromise with the big picture. You will need to compromise in personal relationships. You will need to compromise in your business relationships. Sometimes in your business decisions or ventures. But you should never, ever compromise and settle for a path that your intuition is telling you is a road to nowhere.

Give some thought to where you are right now in your career, entrepreneurial venture, education, relationships and thought life. Are you making your career your own? Are you making the most of whatever situation you find yourself in? Please, stop lying and thinking that you’re biding time in some meaningless stretch, thinking that your “big break” is suddenly going to come.

It never works that way. Big breaks come for those who seek the truth and make the most of the moment at hand.

You may be making decisions that aren’t in line with your values. You may be in desperate need of a course correction. You may be on an upward trajectory, but it may fit the paradigm of some other person or entity’s framework, not your own. That’s worse than moving backwards. Better to know you’re not moving forward, then to think you are but only find yourself slipping.

Move forward armed with the truth.

No one will ever care about your success, well-being, goals, dreams and values as much as you. Which is why the earliest shift you need to make in your life and career is to operate from a position of clarity and purpose. This means that you define what you want. You plan for what you want. You commit and dedicate yourself to what that is and you enforce its action with consistency and repetition.

Stop living someone else’s life. Stop thinking someone else’s thoughts. Stop measuring other people’s success against your lack thereof. It only leads to envy, anger and confusion.

Stop living in mental and emotional purgatory because of failures, other people’s opinions or perceptions of you, or because you’ve made your biggest mistake — thinking you’re not good enough. You’re absolutely good enough. You very well may already have the ideas or plan. You just need to begin with newfound purpose.

Come to peace with the greatest reality of all: You control your thoughts and actions EVERY DAY. You control the way you think about yourself and you are always empowered to do what you want to do. You can ALWAYS change your course. You can do anything you want within reason. It takes time and effort. Deep thought and shifts in attitude. It’s possible and it’s real.

And that’s no lie.

Seek the Truth

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Stop Lying to Yourself. The Truth Will Change Your Life was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The Secret to Success No One Talks About (But Everyone Needs to Hear)

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.”— Earl Nightingale

You’re sick of the same self-help literature that promises success in just a few simple steps. So am I. It’s all over the Internet, and if it were as simple as doing one thing everyday, then all of us would be rollin’ like Jay Z and Beyonce on our yachts somewhere in the Mediterranean. Let’s face it — nothing as powrful as a sustained life of happiness and success will ever come easy.

It must be earned. After all, how could something so personal, so unique to each individual be distilled into just a few words? How could anything so grand be so easy to attain? Here’s the reality — it’s not.

The longer you journey through life, you’ll learn that even fantastic early successes are very hard to sustain. People’s opinions change, your loves and interests changes, and your curiosity and talents evolve. Evolution is a fact of life. Physical talents change. Intellectual ability grows or wanes. We must keep improving. We must keep going. It’s either rise or get left behind.

It’s why I believe the further grounded we are in values and principles that provide a bedrock foundation for all of our big life decisions, as well as our relationships, is an essential safeguard for living the life we want. Forming a firm structure for all of your decisions will give you clarity of thought and peace of mind which will provide you with confidence as it empowers you in all that you do.

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. — Muhammad Ali

Where so many people lose not just life’s battles — but most importantly, the “war” — is by thinking that temporary stretches of doing things “right” will enable them to flourish and live the life of their dreams. This couldn’t be further from the truth! You can do something right for three straight years, attain tremendous happiness and acclaim, but if you falter and lose your way and never recover, you’ll end up in perhaps a worse position than where you started.

In other words, repetition is truly the key to success once you’ve figure out what it is that will drive you and sustain you for a lifetime.

As Aristotle once said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” A habit! And it is habits, reinforced by planning and discipline, that will decide your destiny more than anything else. Rich or poor, young or old, you can always retrain your mind to build new habits that will put you in a greater position to reach new heights. You can always try something new if you’re willing to go for it.

Andrea Bocelli was a lawyer in his early-mid 30s, not the renowned singing sensation that we know today. He was doing his “side gig,” surely, but he was still trying to find a pathway to doing it full-time. He continued to perform and perform, growing in confidence and faith with each performance. He never stopped. Because stopping would never get him to where he is today.

One of the world’s greater singers and performers. The moral of the story: Never give up. And always bring your best in repetition and with consistency. No matter what your talent-level is.

Practice Makes Perfect

No one succeeds at a high level without innate talent, I wrote: “achievement is talent plus preparation.” But the ten-thousand-hour research reminds us that “the closer psychologists look at the careers of the gifted, the smaller the role innate talent seems to play and the bigger the role preparation seems to play.” — Malcolm Gladwell, source: The New Yorker

Preparation. Practice. Work. Effort. “The Journey.” You know what all of this translates out to?

Repetition and Consistency. And furthermore: intelligent, experiential learning that you continue to build upon as you do.

Malcolm Gladwell is a proponent of the “Ten-Thousands Hour” rule. In other words, everyone who has practices for 10,000 hours will truly become world-class in whatever they do. Now, you and I can debate the psychology or viability of this all that we want. But the man’s point is that no matter how talented we are, we must put in the time. Deeply concentrated, focused effort on something we love to do. That’s ideal.

Your Journey Requires Repetition

Any research into the lives of successful people shows us that success stories are all varied and nuanced. What’s not up for debate is that success and SUSTAINED success is born from preparation, planning and tons of practice. LeBron James is the best basketball player in the world because his otherworldly talent married a championship work ethic that has an insatiable hunger for practice and more practice. And winning.

What I urge you to do is, don’t get caught up worrying over the magic elixir or quick-fix to get you where you want to be. You’ll surely be deluged with marketing and advertising schemes convincing you that you can do it in just a few days. These are snake oil salesman looking for a quick buck. Don’t fall into the trap. The long-game is where you go for the victory.

It’s just not as appealing and sexy. It’s harder to sell. And so not all of us take it. To our own peril.

Those who choose the long-game find that success and happiness isn’t something best packaged in a $39.99 self-help package that opens up a world of positive results in a short amount of time.

The results take longer. But the journey is so much more satisfying. The long-term rewards are bountiful and well worth the toil. Don’t get caught up in instant gratification. Don’t focus only on the prize at the end. Savor the process, savor the practice. The more you love and inspire yourself by the practice, the more you continue to feed yourself the fuel you’ll need for long-term growth and happiness.

“The good news about deliberate practice is that it will push you past (a) plateau and into a realm where you have little competition.” — Cal Newport

Passion and Consistency

Where I differ from Newport is in the belief that following a passion can become the most fruitful and healthy decision you ever make. Following your passion is not a foolish decision. It will bring radiant color and light to your life if you use it to your advantage. There’s nothing to say that passion has to become the way you make money and support your family, or the thing that consumes your life.

There’s nothing wrong with your passion becoming a side hobby or that thing you turn to away from your job or family obligations. We all need something in our lives that motivates, inspires and pushes us to new frontiers of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual development.

The literature that suggests pursuing passion leads to failure is often an admonition to be careful that you don’t just jump “all in” to something that you may lack the skills or talent for, so that you don’t end up flat in your face in disappointment.

“Cautious optimism” is the term here. This still means that the need to risk to truly imperative to find success and happiness. You absolutely must be willing to take a chance to find anything great. Even if your day job stays static over the next 30 years of your life. Take risks to pursue what you love. But know this — repeating what works and NOT repeating what doesn’t work is truly the secret to sustained success. It’s that simple.

“Practice builds habits. Our habits are our character. When it comes to virtue, practice “makes a very great difference — or rather, all the difference.” — Eric Greitens, Resilience

Absolutely anyone can luck into some successes without a ton of effort. It’s still not probable, yet possible. What is truly impossible is to continuously find success without dedicated, intensive, intelligent hard work. Practice. Consistency. Repetition. Practice. Consistency. Repetition.

Over and over and over again. It’s not just important to have a great idea. It’s equally as important to continue pressing forward with your idea and repeating the process of hard work every day.

As I’ve written about previously, so many people just jump right into something without the proper planning and thought. When you do this, repetition doesn’t matter. You’re just wasting your time and you’ll surely end up in disappointment. You need goals and you need a plan. When you have this, with your passionate and inspirational spark, you’re on to something.

Repetition requires commitment, which is dedication leading you to do something every day, multiple times per day (where possible).

Repetition is the key to success. It’s not for those looking to choose the path of least resistance. Though, as we learn on our journey, it is the only way to unlock our potential, and the doors that will swing open to opportunity.

Keep Going

Join my newsletter and check out my book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey.

The Secret to Success No One Talks About (But Everyone Needs to Hear) was originally published in Personal Growth on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The Only 8 Words You Need to Motivate You to Take Action

“Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful (people)with talent. Genius will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” — Ray Kroc

The next time you find yourself sitting there gazing at your smartphone, somehow expecting the answers are magically going to come to you, remind yourself first — it never works that way. And second, think of this great line from the movie Boiler Room,

“Motion Creates Emotion”

I say this because the biggest thing that holds all of us back is:

IndecisionComplacencySitting still and believe it or not, what may actually be worse…Tepid action. Lukewarm, half-hearted, uninspired, simply-not-gonna-get the job done… action.

I’ve seen this manifest itself in my life, and I’ve seen so many very intelligent people’s career dreams crash and burn because they just weren’t persistent enough. They didn’t know the right way to communicate. They thought they were doing the right thing, but they weren’t truly going all-in and giving things maximum effort.

Please don’t make the same mistake. You and I will make mistakes throughout our lives, and we’ll find that we actually improve and learn from those mistakes. But some mistakes tend to compound themselves, making it harder to rise from our feet. And no mistake is more damaging than repeatedly giving a half-ass effort. You must give things maximum attitude and effort if you want to live the life you dream about.

A Story to Tell

Earlier in my career, I had a manager who genuinely cared about both my personal and professional development. It was more the “tough love” type of encouragement and motivation that I needed.

I was trying to move forward and make progress on some important tasks but I seemed to keep running into the typical red tape that plagues many organizations: Poor responsiveness to communications; multi-tasking and missed deadlines. I wasn’t getting responses. But then again, I was doing virtually everything by e-mail. Maybe an occasional phone call.

When I explained this to my boss, he patiently sat there and listened to everything I had to say. When I stopped talking he asked, “Are you finished? Because here’s my advice:

GET OFF YOUR ASS AND MAKE IT HAPPEN.”

The point was taken.

It was blunt, somewhat startling, but the exact medicine that I needed. I was doing something, but I wasn’t doing enough. Sending emails weren’t as effective as physically getting up and meeting with someone to send the message I needed. The act and art of face-to-face communication was needed for me to complete my work.

It was needed for me to build the vital relationships in the organization with executives and senior-level influencers. It was needed for increased exposure and opportunities that would only help me grow and build confidence.

Sitting behind my computer was getting me nowhere. It’s a story, for sure, but it’s also a microcosm for where so many of us find ourselves all throughout our lives and career.

We complain about not knowing the way.

We complain about not getting a response for that opportunity we want.

We get so complacent when we don’t get what we want, and sometimes we stop right there and don’t think about what could be a more effective way. Far worse, we stop altogether and give up.

Focus on Taking Action

“The only thing worse than starting something and failing… is not starting something.” — Seth Godin

Part of the pitfall of living in a digital world is thinking that everything is going to come to us as instantly as the delivery of a Direct Message via Twitter. No matter how old you are, think about how truly astonishing it is that someone in Jakarta can send a message that is instantly received by someone in Buenos Aires. Communication, at the speed of now.

There is a way to give your all without burning out. There is a way to meet your obligations without feeling like you’re running around like a chicken with your head cut off. You have to start with planning, but here’s where most people get it wrong: They put together a plan, thinking it won’t change, and then end up terribly disappointed when their plan falls apart.

Life changes and as a result, plans must be modified accordingly. I encourage you to bake in to every plan the values that will carry you, enabling you to flourish and sustain you when you think you’ve hit too devastating a setback: Values like persistence, perseverance, hard work, optimism, courage and hope. These things are the bedrock foundation for success.

So what are you waiting for? The world is not going to come to you. There’s too many other qualified people. There’s way more effective ways to get things done that earn results. You can’t just sit around and function at lukewarm. Get inspired. Get fired up. Get off your ass and make it happen!

Get Moving into High Gear

Join my newsletter and check out my bestselling book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey. If you’re interested in working with me try me here.

The Only 8 Words You Need to Motivate You to Take Action was originally published in The Mission on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

There Are No “Barriers to Entry” — The Only Thing Stopping You is You

“Work until your idols become your rivals.” — Drake

Do you want to know the surest way to fail? It’s to begin doing something, think you’re not succeeding, then give up and blame other people or reasons for why you haven’t become an “industry leader.” The biggest excuse I find from people who launch a business or new venture is this:

“There are too many other people better at doing what I do.”

There it is. Take that, print it out, place it on your mirror, or on your iPhone Notes and look at that quote every day. It does have some value. Because very often, it’s true. Yes, there are many other people better at doing what you do. That’s life. Guess what? There are many better writers out there than me. There are better entrepreneurs. Better coaches. Better public speakers.

And I accept that. I’m at peace with that. But from the moment I launched my coaching business two years ago, as well as my writing and speaking careers, I made myself a very important promise:

I promised myself I’d never, ever give up. And then I promised myself to never get discouraged that I wasn’t the best, or that there were “too many other people doing what I do.” You need to promise yourself the same thing. I truly believe this is just as important to success as having a great idea, persevering through down times and working hard.

What about you? Do you find yourself getting discouraged too easily?

Concern Yourself With You

I have the good fortune of knowing and working with some extremely successful people. I’ve coached CEOs of major companies, worked with startup founders, grown up with successful band musicians, comediennes and broadcasters. None of these people ever let the fact that someone else was doing what they were doing get in their way.

“Success doesn’t happen overnight. Keep your eye on the prize and don’t look back.” Erin Andrews

They kept practicing their craft, embraced their talents for what they were, and found inspiration in role models and success stories they admired. They realized there are very few linear paths to success, and by breaking the mold and mixing in new ideas with a tireless work ethic, they believed they’d forge their own path and achieve success on their terms.

Take this from Heidi Grant Halvorson, author of the book, 9 Things Successful People do Differently”

“In many studies we’ve been able to show that when people think about what they’re doing, whether they’re taking a very difficult test of some kind, or working on a project over weeks at a time… when (people)think about something they’re going to improve on, that they’re going to develop over time, that they might make mistakes along the way. But that’s OK because you learn from those mistakes, and over time you’ll really come to master this.” Source: HBR

Entry into a saturated field is not a bad decision. Having an original idea, believing that you can do it better than everyone else eventually, even if you’re not capable of it now, is the best mindset for approaching a new venture. You cannot think that you’re wasting time. This is where you need to steel yourself mentally and emotionally so that you don’t end up being yourself.

And it’s truly why consistency, repetition and belief in yourself matter. The only person stopping you is you — it’s not the industry leaders, it’s not your perceived competitors who are on the journey with you. It’s you. I wasted time in my earlier years stopping and starting writing for websites like Bleacher Report and HuffPost. I didn’t have what it took at the time to sustain myself to keep going.

Have you found a similar pattern in your life? Have you got caught “star-gazing” and concerning yourself too much with how competitive your field is? Whether you’re trying to launch a new social media app, looking to build a digital media company or perhaps launching a new healthcare product, please stop beating yourself up over why you haven’t arrived yet.

Eliminate Barriers

Kevin Systrom and Mike Krieger could have never bothered starting Instagram by looking around and seeing that Vine and Facebook already existed. But they believed there was a market for a social media app that has now become one of the industry leaders in photo and video sharing. It’s changed the way we consume and experience media.

Here again from Ms. Halvorson is further fuel to help you build grit and perseverance to not give up or worry about what you don’t have:

“We find that the people who lack grit tend to be those who believe that abilities are fixed, that you sort of either win the DNA lottery or you don’t. And you are born smart, or you’re born creative, or you’re born a good leader or you’re not. And so when they encounter difficulty and things are challenging to them, that don’t come easily, they are very quick to conclude, well, I guess I’m just not good at this. I guess I lack this ability. And so they give up. So grit really is just fundamentally about hanging in there.” Source: HBR

Enter the fray. Have a plan. And don’t concern yourself with the other people who are already in your field. They’re not blocking you. They’re inadvertently making you better by forcing you to produce your best product and work hard. There are no barriers to entry. No one is standing in your way. Remove the mental and emotional obstacles, and you’ll find yourself creating truly beautiful work.

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Join my newsletter and check out my bestselling book, The Value of You. This will give you inspiration to start planning for success on your journey. If you’re interested in working with me try me here.

There Are No “Barriers to Entry” — The Only Thing Stopping You is You was originally published in ART + marketing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.