Monica Berg's Blog, page 20

KCAL-TV

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Tu B’Av: Love, Unity, and Three Ways to Cultivate Both

As they say, Love is in the air!

This week is all about harmony, balance, and love. And the 15th of Leo (August 2) was a doubly auspicious day for Michael and me, since it brought both the holiday of Tu B’Av and–not coincidentally–our wedding anniversary!

On this day in ancient times, the single young women of Jerusalem would head to the vineyards and dance in borrowed white dresses in hopes of meeting their potential partners. Why were the dresses borrowed? So that no one could recognize who was rich or poor. Love was, and is always, an equal opportunity blessing!

We, too, can “borrow” the Light that’s uniquely pure and strong during this window of time, no matter what our relationship status. In a month ruled by the sun, the 15th of Av also marks the full moon. It’s about the joining of opposites, or complements–the meeting of the earthly and spiritual worlds. Think of this time as a moment where the Creator and the creation unite in perfect harmony!

The unique energy around Tu B’Av can help us realign with that perfected version of ourselves that always exists in the upper realms. This is the highest and most unconditionally loving version of you. And that you has the power to magnetize the people, situations, and relationships that are meant for your highest level of fulfillment. It’s time for manifesting our destiny!

For the girls in the white dresses, that often meant romance, and even marriage. Rav Berg, my father-in-law and teacher, wrote that “True love is a consciousness, and not something you can measure with your five senses. It is when you feel unity with another person.” But how does that unity play out in a long-term partnership?

Relationships are like fingerprints–no two are alike. People often ask me how Michael and I have stayed so happy for all these years… and there’s no one simple answer. But based on our experience, there are key elements that help keep any relationship glowing and growing.

Here are three that come to mind:

1) Connect with something greater than yourself (or selves).

Aside from the obvious ways Michael and I are united–our shared home, family, community, and vision for expanding the Centre’s offerings to the world–we also share complete trust in the Light of the Creator. And that’s not a small thing to share!

For better or worse, through challenges (some of which have seemed like mountains!) and times of ease and celebration, we share that sense of certainty that helps us find the lessons and the blessings in all our experiences. Because of this, our lives have texture and meaning. Nothing is accidental! Everything serves a purpose–and ultimately, that purpose fuels both our growth and our love.

2) Find your individual wholeness–and then share that with each other.

Part of the glue that binds Michael and me together so strongly is the commitment each of us has to nurture our own personal growth. By loving and honoring ourselves, we’re able to love and honor each other as whole people.

Spiritually, I see us as two halves of a single One–soulmates (in great part because we’ve worked hard on our relationship to manifest that!). Yet we are also two whole people, both focused on growth and fulfillment of purpose. Together, we’ve been able to create more light, more love, and more potential to share our gifts with than either of us might have alone.

3) Smile, laugh, and let the Light lighten your burden!

Michael and I love to have fun! We can be silly together and laugh at ourselves, as any of you who follow our podcast, Spiritually Hungry, have likely witnessed every week. And sure, Michael is an esteemed rabbi who runs an international spiritual organization–but he’s also the guy who enjoys singing karaoke (even if only in private).

My husband is one of the funniest–and most fun-loving–people I know. And finding a reason to smile and laugh each day, no matter what that day holds, is one of our shared priorities. That sense of levity is the sparkle in our eyes and the lift in our spirits!

This is a great time to sow unity and harmony wherever you can.

You may connect with a friend or loved one more deeply or discover a newer or more profound understanding of yourself or your spiritual connection. Who knows? You may even be drawn to find your own soulmate, if you’re open to that idea!

My mother-in-law, Karen Berg, said, “When we begin with love, love will always be waiting for us at the end.” This was certainly true for her and the Rav, who continue to guide and inspire me every day. And so it will be for Michael and me… of that I’m certain!

So Happy Anniversary Week to my inimitable, wise, and wonderful husband, Michael.

And may we all dance in the vineyards of light and love for many tomorrows to come.

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Tisha B’Av: A Bridge to the Light, and to Karen

The 9th day of Leo (Av) holds a unique balance of opposites for our family.

Tisha B’Av (Tisha meaning “ninth”) is considered a day of sadness and darkness. The date commemorates the destruction of both the first and second temples, along with other tragic moments in history. Yet kabbalists teach that the greater the darkness, the greater the potential for Light. So it’s no surprise that my mother-in-law and great teacher, Karen Berg, elevated from this world on the 9th of Av three years ago. Days of elevation are especially powerful because they allow us to tap into the energy a person’s soul brought to the world during their lifetime.

And throughout the 28 years I knew her (which I can now call 31 since she’s still with me every day!), Karen was a conduit for the Light–from her beautiful, dimpled smile to all the ways she lifted others near and far.

Karen knew that darkness is almost always connected at some level with a lack of love and sharing. Wars, crime, greed, fallen temples–they all are rooted in humanity’s tendency to shut out “the other” for the sake of self-interest. The mistaken notion that we can still be okay when others are not runs contrary to the essence of spirituality: that being that there is only ONE energy, one love, one well-being. Your happiness and mine are intertwined!

As Karen wrote: “The only way to fulfillment is to transform your desire to receive for the self alone–the gravitational pull to ‘me, me, me’–into the desire to receive for the sake of sharing.” Yet that kind of sharing isn’t always easy. Over the course of her life, Karen faced her share of obstacles. For instance, people were adamantly opposed to bringing the study of kabbalah (once reserved for the elder scholars and rabbis only) into the public sphere. But neither Karen nor the Rav let any of this stop them.

In fact, Karen often talked about resistance as a necessary element for manifestation of any kind. A seed needs the resistance of the earth, as well as temperature and water fluctuations, wind, and so forth, to become a healthy plant or tree. A lightbulb may get plugged into a current, but without the resistance created by its filament, it would reap nothing but a brief flash and a mess of shattered glass.

We, too, need resistance to reach the fullness of our potential. It wasn’t despite all the push-back that Karen and the Rav were able to bring kabbalah into the Light. Rather, it was BECAUSE of all the naysayers and backlash that they doubled down on their commitment to see through their vision. And they both aimed higher, both personally and professionally, as a result… to the benefit of thousands and millions across the world!!

Karen believed in me long before I ever believed in me. Aware of my tendencies toward perfectionism, Karen once told me, “That’s why God created erasers—we don’t have to be perfect.” She reminded me that if we have certainty in the Light of the Creator, then the Light of the Creator is involved in every aspect of our lives, including the mistakes we make. Those mistakes are part of that resistance. They’re integral to the process!

So on this traditionally dark day of Tisha B’Av, we can all elevate ourselves by exploring where and how our own challenges have helped us grow. If you are currently facing a difficulty or setback, know that it isn’t there to block you. See it for what it is: the resistance you need to help you grow into a better version of YOU!

Right before Karen left us, a small earthquake registered on the seismic meters in LA. I knew then, and still do, that she wanted to shake us awake. Literally! She wanted to remind us to never lose sight of all the good in this world, and in ourselves. Amidst the backdrop of the day’s traditional somberness, Karen wanted each of us to stay in touch with our own vision… to remember that any darkness we experience is also a bridge to the Light.

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PIX11

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Why Your Anxiety May Be Just the Friend You Need

Emotions. They’re hallmarks of being human (and, as recent studies suggest, they may also be shared among other species as well!). We’re connected to one another through shared experiences of sadness, happiness, excitement, fear, and other nuanced feelings. Yet through the centuries, root triggers for our emotions have shifted considerably.

Let’s say, for instance, that you lived a million years ago in the Paleolithic era. What may have caused you anxiety or fear ten thousand years ago would have had nothing to do with traffic, street crime, or that constant stream of terror-inducing news we’re all privy to. Back then, if you were foraging for berries along the river with your young child, you might keep one eye on the thick brush in case a predator happened to be watching.

And if a leopard did suddenly spring for your child, that “fight or flight” response (a.k.a. acute stress response) would instantly flip on. Your heart rate would quicken. Adrenaline and other hormones would flood your system. Your liver would release glucose, honing your focus and response time. As a result, you’d make a series of split-second decisions around whether to run or to stay and fight. And once the threat was over, your body would return to normal.

These days, our threats come in more sizes, shapes, and levels of immediacy. The complexities of life often manifest in fears and stresses of the slow-drip variety. Enter anxiety!

A recent study by the American Psychological Association reported that nearly 80% of people report feeling some level of anxiety. And where does it come from? Almost everywhere, apparently. We ruminate over decisions. We worry about our children. We get caught on something we did or didn’t say or do. And while we may luxuriate in our freedoms, here’s a newsflash: there IS such a thing as too much choice! (Think streaming options, brands of cereal, and even options to swipe on dating apps.) Psychiatrist Zbigniew Lipowski calls the influx of options a “veritable vicious cycle” of anxiety because even after we make a choice, we’re left anxious in wondering whether we chose the right one!

Add to this those invisible threats in the daily headlines, from terrorists to ecological catastrophes to unrest, we don’t see the millions and billions of positive things happening every moment of every day! No wonder we imagine dreadful outcomes and then ruminate on them.

And so, in lieu of that full-body, instantaneous fight-or-flight reaction, we experience the less intense but more sustained effects that come with internal dissonance. Sometimes anxiety manifests as that slight tug that we try to ignore, but that keeps on pulling at the sides of our thoughts. At other times, it comes in like a tornado, dizzying enough to sideline our ability to function productively. We may lose sleep. Or overeat. Or turn to escapism through substances or other addictions.

Our body will feel it, too–manifesting in digestive issues, headaches, or more serious conditions. (Note: if you or someone you love experiences anxiety that manifests in potentially harmful symptoms, please seek the care of a medical professional!) In other words, ignoring our anxiety can, over time, negatively impact every aspect of our lives.

But anxiety, like other emotions, can also be a valuable wake-up call to our soul, telling us that something needs addressing, changing, or letting go.

Kabbalah teaches that emotions are some of our most trusted messengers. And they deserve our full attention! In fact, if we consciously choose to face our worries, stresses, and anxieties head-on and make the changes they’re asking us to make, we can experience tremendous growth and transformation.

The biggest challenge? Emotions don’t speak to us in words. And decoding our feelings can feel much like translating a foreign language, unless we’re willing to put in some real effort. We have to meet our anxiety halfway. Dr. Alicia Clark, psychologist and author of Hack Your Anxiety, writes, “Becoming aware of our anxiety, and consciously naming it, is how we activate our thinking and take control over what we do with it.”

Here are a few ways to start that process:

Write in a journal. Allow yourself to express what is bothering you, and see if you can write your way to an answer!Meditate. Sometimes the way to an answer is as simple as clearing away the noise enough so that you can “hear” it.Practice Self-Talk. Have a conversation with yourself (mirror optional!). Just put it out there: What’s at the heart of this anxious feeling? Be kind to yourself, and maybe the face in the mirror will tell you something new!Take a walk, or pursue a contemplative activity. Sometimes even digging in the garden can help excavate parts of ourselves that we’ve kept beneath the surface.

Once the answers start manifesting, the next step takes courage. Change can be scary–and, in truth, we may make mistakes or have setbacks along the way. That’s how we grow! But no matter what stories you’ve had playing on repeat through your mind, this is the time to face them head-on, believe in yourself above all, and…

● Commit to taking action!

Is your “off” feeling telling you to start looking for a new job? To schedule a heart-to-heart to clear the air with a friend? Is there an unfinished task that’s been weighing on you? Whatever it is, heed the call to act and set out a specific and purposeful course for addressing the source of the anxiety.

Be persistent (not resistant) and resolve to solve! Remember, measurable change takes energy from the inside out. My husband, kabbalist Michael Berg, shares that the way we THINK about things will determine “how we are either going to expand the borders of Light or expand the borders of darkness.” We can let our anxiety fester, or we can meet it, greet it, and let it lead us onward and upward!

With a mind as clear as a glorious summer day spent picking berries by the river.

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Leo: How to Tame a Lion (Well, Sort Of…)

Are you ready for your inner lion (or lioness) to step into the spotlight? We’re entering the month of Leo (Av in Hebrew)–a sign known for its regal, fiery, and often illustrious ways in the world. The energy of the cosmos during this time invites us to step up, take charge, and shine our Light with that Leo might to help illuminate the path for others. Ruled by the sun, Leo is naturally plugged into that Universal solar grid (a little like an electric car–only this one comes fully charged!). Yet all this potency also holds an equal challenge for every Leo and for all of us this month: to live with humility and seek to receive not for ourselves alone, but for the purpose of sharing with others.

My late father-in-law, the pioneering visionary and kabbalist Rav Berg, embodied the best of Leo’s attributes and so much more. He had mastered the Tikkune, or the correction, faced by the energy of Leo. Because while this sign’s inherent knack for rising through the ranks can often be intertwined with ego, the Rav lived, learned, and led with great compassion and empathy toward others.

And that is the key to maximizing the energetic power of this time. We may even charm ourselves with the boost of confidence we feel this month! Yet if we get caught up in the trappings of doing it all for me, myself, and I, well–all that potential will end right where it began. We’ll be wasting all the magic by keeping that Leo pixie dust hidden in our pockets. This is the month to spread the Light and the love!

One of the Rav’s most cherished [moral beliefs] was what is known as the Golden Rule: Do Unto Others as You Would Wish to Have Done Unto You. Put even more simply, Love Your Neighbor as Yourself. It begins with realizing and recognizing the common spark of humanity in everyone–and, for that matter, everything–around us.

It’s easier said than done. Why? For two reasons. First, because sometimes that Light has been shrouded in those we meet along the way–be it by pain or anger or the darker aspects of life. We can’t always discern what we cannot see, right? Just like an infant will believe a ball to have “disappeared” when it’s only been hidden behind a curtain, we must consciously remember that the Light is always there, no matter what… or who… or where.

Second, we’re also constantly contending with that #1 Light blocker in the neighborhood: our own ego! A byproduct of the human condition, our ego desires to receive for the self alone. It perceives us as separate (we are, after all, individuals in a way)… so it throws fits and gets easily bruised when our expectations are unmet. We may get angry or defensive. Or we blame, judge, and punish. But when we’re held captive by these darker inclinations, we become further entrenched in our separateness. And in that war zone, we may even resort to turning the weapons on ourselves. How can Light permeate such well-constructed walls?

The good news is this: Kabbalah teaches that it takes only one action of positivity to break down the barriers and let in the Light! The inner work of Leo is to see past appearances and to perceive that divine spark in ourselves and others… while simultaneously keeping the ego in check.

Because that feline confidence must be balanced with humbleness to grow our love for others and ourselves. That also means stepping back from comparisons. Practice shutting down any “I’m better (or lesser) than so-and-so” mindset. If you feel such thoughts arise, correct them with something like this: At the essence, we are the same. How can I turn up the Light for us both, and for us all?”

Thinking in such a way–with an authentic desire to improve the world beyond yourself–magnifies Leo’s luminosity so that it might become a beacon for others, just as Rav Berg was for his thousands of students and followers. And just as the Rav and Karen stood their ground when faced with naysayers or critics, don’t be afraid to roar like a lion for the things you truly believe (okay, but don’t wake the neighbors, because we’re loving them, remember?).

Because most of all, this month challenges us to shine with the fullness of ourselves into all the darkened spaces… to make a difference in the world not just through our doing, but through our being. With that effort, walls will crumble, bridges will manifest, and new connections will crackle like that powerful solar energy Leo brings.

And, as we grow and expand ourselves, we’ll come to realize that this spark of Light doesn’t stop with us, our communities, or even humanity as a whole. That same flame resides within every other living being on the planet. And more universally, it permeates everything that ever was or ever will be.

That’s the ultimate throne we all share… we need only to step up and claim it!

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Success Magazine

Congratulations! Monica Berg was featured in the July/August 2023 Success Magazine, which is on newsstands now.

In the feature entitled, “Collective Strength: Here’s How Community Has Helped 5 Leaders Find Success,” Monica discussed how having a community early in life has helped enrich her life. Monica stated, “We share a sense of purpose, our successes and setbacks, our joys and sorrows, offering each other support, comfort and the solidarity of knowing we are not alone.”

Success is a national leading business magazine, designed specifically to serve the growing entrepreneur with personal and professional development tips. The magazine has more than 230,000 print subscribers each issue.

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Pinchas: Changing Our Perception of Life



On Shabbat Pinchas, Monica inspires us to reflect on our ability to draw peace to our mind and heart to be able to heal emotionally, physically and spiritually.

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