Page Turner's Blog, page 75

December 10, 2019

Sometimes When You Finally Come Out of Your Shell, You Won’t Like What You Find There

I’ve been coming out of my shell again lately.


I moved from Cleveland to Dallas five months ago, after spending a stressful few months fixing up and selling our old house.


It was a lot of upheaval. And it happened all in a blitz, too fast for me to have any hope of processing it.  » Read more


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Published on December 10, 2019 09:00

December 9, 2019

I Get Good at Silence Around Certain People, But I Never Have Learned to Enjoy It

Sometimes people are surprised to learn that I grew up in a rural area in a highly religious family with very traditional conservative ideas of what gender roles should be.


But for me, it’s always there somewhere in my psyche.


Even as I grew up, moved away, and found a social group with different ideas about sex,  » Read more


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Published on December 09, 2019 09:18

December 8, 2019

Declinism, or Why “The Good Old Days” Seem So Good When You’re Older

As I’ve written many times, it can be kind of annoying sometimes, and humbling, but the truth is that the human brain is calibrated for speed, not accuracy.


It makes sense when you think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Snap decisions are crucial in survival settings. If you’re being chased by a predator,  » Read more


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Published on December 08, 2019 09:00

December 7, 2019

Turns Out a Lot of Friends With Benefits Want the Connection to Turn Romantic

Ah, the friends with benefits (FWB) relationship… Just invoking it can cause sharp reactions in people. The label has a rather storied history, one that can be quite divisive, with many people saying they’d never pursue one and other people saying it’s a form of connection they prefer.


Still others say that they don’t do friends with benefits and go on to describe a situation that sounds remarkably like a traditional FWB setup,  » Read more


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Published on December 07, 2019 09:00

December 6, 2019

“Hey You, Want to Get to Know Each Other Better?’

I’m amazed that this is still happening to me. That I’m still getting this opening line that I’ve heard so many times:


Hey you, want to get to know each other better?


The stranger offers up chat info.


“How would you possibly get to know me any better?”  » Read more


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Published on December 06, 2019 09:00

December 5, 2019

You’re the Most Beautiful When You Don’t Know Anyone’s Looking at You

You’re the most beautiful when you don’t know anyone’s looking at you. When you’re engrossed in a book. Laughing at a joke online. Reading a kind message that someone sent you.


You don’t think you’re beautiful, and that’s okay. That’s part of what’s beautiful about you. You completely lack vanity, lack awareness of your strengths.  » Read more


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Published on December 05, 2019 09:00

December 4, 2019

If You’re Loyal, Make Sure You’re Loyal in the Right Place

I wrote a piece recently called “I Don’t Want Blind Loyalty.”


In it, I talk about how sometimes there’s this expectation from people that being a good friend means always taking their side. That being loyal means being a “yes man,” no matter the context.


And how I’m just not down for that.  » Read more


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Published on December 04, 2019 09:00

December 3, 2019

Is It Better to Be With a Slob Who Tries or Another Neatnik Who Disagrees With You?

I’ve always been pretty laid back about chores, organization, and the state of a home.


do have a point where I tap out. I don’t like living in squalor. Once upon a time, this tipping point was something I think of as “the tripping point,” i.e., the point at which there’s no clear pathway through a room.  » Read more


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Published on December 03, 2019 09:00

December 2, 2019

“I’m Glad You Don’t Use Your Powers for Evil Because You Could Destroy Me”

The other morning I woke up my absolute favorite way: Being hugged by someone I love.


I felt Justin’s arms around me as I came to. As I opened my eyes, I noted he wasn’t in the bed but standing over it, fully dressed as though he’d been up for a while.


“The package guy brought something for you,”  » Read more


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Published on December 02, 2019 09:00

December 1, 2019

When You (Wrongly) Believe Other People Know What You Know

While I do author most of the articles featured on Poly Land, I love working with guest contributors. I generally love working with talented writers — and especially those who don’t know that they’re talented. Many good ones don’t actually.


Part of this is likely due to Dunning-Kruger effect,  » Read more


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Published on December 01, 2019 09:00