Page Turner's Blog, page 54
July 7, 2020
If You’re Asking Yourself If You’re Being a Doormat, Then the Answer Is Yes
The other day I got a question from a reader in response to my essay on the importance of being around gracious people. This is true all of the time, really, but particularly when you’re in a polyamorous relationship system.
They asked me a question that might seem obvious but hit me rather funny. » Read more
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July 6, 2020
I Really Wish I Could Attend at Least One of My Father’s Funerals in Person
I’m not sure why I feel so apologetic whenever Mom asks the question I’m getting used to getting from her. “Are the covid cases going down in Dallas yet?”
“No,” I text back. “They’re going up.”
It’s been a long string of record days. Everything’s going in the wrong direction.
A Different Funeral Experience Than Any of Us Had Planned
When Dad passed away in April, » Read more
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July 5, 2020
Without Emotional Eating, I’m Forced to Let My Body Feel
I don’t write about it all that often because weight tends to be a touchy or full-on traumatizing matter for people, regardless of your relationship to it, but from 2009-2012, I lost 160 pounds.
The first question people typically ask at this point is “how did you do it?” The answer usually disappoints them. » Read more
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July 4, 2020
Sometimes It’s Good to Not Realize How Long You’ll Be Dealing with Something
The other day I woke up with a pimple on my chin. Truth is I’m too old for this. Too old for this manner of unpleasant surprise. I’m not thirteen anymore. Not twice thirteen, even. That ship has long sailed.
I had an old boyfriend once upon a time who used to joke about my being Christmas cake. » Read more
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July 3, 2020
Moving Forward Isn’t About Having No Regrets. It’s About What You Do With the Regrets You Have.
It’s very easy to say you have no regrets, and it sounds damn cool. It gives off the impression that you’re either a person who is supremely confident. Or one who has mastered the art of self-compassion.
I’m pretty sure I’ve even said it in passing. In my everyday life and maybe even in my essays. » Read more
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July 2, 2020
When You Already Know What Your Problem Is & What to Do About It
“I think you’re much too hard on yourself,” he says. “You have a strong negative self-bias.”
“One of the strongest of anyone you’ve ever met?” I ask.
He nods. “You think everything’s your fault, whenever anything goes wrong. And it’s not.”
I know what he means. In a perverse confirmation of what he’s saying, » Read more
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July 1, 2020
Talking About Sexual Risk Has Made It Easier to Discuss Covid-19 Risk With My Partner
We’re both working from the same graphic, a chart that stratifies the covid-19 risk of various activities. It’s been flying around social media a few weeks. But it’s not just a meme. The url in its upper right corner redirects to an article where health experts weigh in on the topic and provide this information. » Read more
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June 30, 2020
In Search of Effective Coping
What can I say about 2020? Not a lot that hasn’t already been said. If I’d tried to explain the past few months to my former self, I don’t think I could have possibly understood. I’m not sure I would have been able to convince myself that it would unfold the way it has.
It’s unbelievable. » Read more
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June 29, 2020
Having Known Unselfish Polyamorists Has Restored Faith the Pandemic Has Tested
As I’ve written many times before, I had a difficult transition into polyamory. I didn’t find non-monogamy to be easy.
Maybe for some people it is, but that’s not been my experience. Nor was it the reason I got into it in the first place, that it seemed like it would be easier. » Read more
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June 28, 2020
The Grass Is Always Greener in My Head
I am really good at falling in love. And when I do, I typically put people up on pedestals. In fact, it was only a few years ago that I stopped doing that. And it took being on the other side of things, dating someone who had me up on a really high pedestal.
So high that when I showed up as just little old me and not a goddess that shattered her wildest expectations… » Read more
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