Page Turner's Blog, page 58

Good Relationships Are Usually Hard After a While, Not at the Beginning

Her new relationship is a nightmare. An unmitigated nightmare.

She’s been single for a long time, so there’s a novelty to having someone there when she needs them — anyone.

Because we live in a culture where it’s far too frequent for couples to all partner off and leave single folks on their own.  » Read more

The post Good Relationships Are Usually Hard After a While, Not at the Beginning appeared first on Poly.Land.

The Difference Between “No, But” and “Yes, And”

For a very long time, I’ve been extremely irritated by a phenomenon I call the “False Correction”

What is the False Correction? It’s pretty simple. It’s when someone acts like you’re wrong and they’re correcting you about something, but they’re just being more specific than you were. And the general thing you said was true.  » Read more

The post The Difference Between “No, But” and “Yes, And” appeared first on Poly.Land.

I Woke Up Cheerful This Morning, For Once

I woke up cheerful this morning.

Normally, this wouldn’t be big news. In general, I have a very positive disposition.

I do get grumpy. I do get sad. Things can and do annoy me.

Part of being a resilient person involves acknowledging reality. And anyone who has any sort of meaningful,  » Read more

The post I Woke Up Cheerful This Morning, For Once appeared first on Poly.Land.

The Tyranny of Value

Today’s article is a guest post by frequent Poly.Land contributor, Fluffy (bio and links to their other work below, following this piece). Enjoy!

The Tyranny of Value

Mental Accounting Ain’t so Easy

It can be very easy to start tallying the tasks, the permissions, the debts, the loans, and so on in any relationships.  » Read more

The post The Tyranny of Value appeared first on Poly.Land.

There Is a Monster Sitting on My Chest

There is a monster sitting on my chest.

No one else can see him.

But I know he’s there. I can feel him sitting there. He’s comfortable where he is. He’s happiest when I’m unhappy. Most comfortable when I’m uncomfortable.

He comes and goes as he pleases. Sometimes, though,  » Read more

The post There Is a Monster Sitting on My Chest appeared first on Poly.Land.

When You Reach That Point Where You Can’t Pretend You’re Okay Anymore

There’s a joke going around the Internet. It goes a little something like this: Don’t forget to check on your strong friend so that they can lie to you about how they’re doing.

I laugh, because there’s a lot of truth there. I don’t know if other people would consider me their “strong”  » Read more

The post When You Reach That Point Where You Can’t Pretend You’re Okay Anymore appeared first on Poly.Land.

Advice Friend: Polyamorous Couples Where One Partner Is Ace

My partner and I are happily married, and have been doing some relationship introspection. Have you ever come across or heard about a successful married relationship where one partner is polyamorous while the other is on the Ace spectrum?

*

A few quick clarifications for readers who might want/need them before I answer today’s question:

Ace/ace = shorthand for asexual

allosexual = not on the asexual spectrum and/or not asexual

Personal disclosure: I am allosexual,  » Read more

The post Advice Friend: Polyamorous Couples Where One Partner Is Ace appeared first on Poly.Land.

You Can Misunderstand People While Communicating in Person, Too

I recently wrote a post called “I Wish I Could Send Feelings to You When I Have Them.” Here’s an excerpt:

You can do a lot with words, that’s for sure, but they’re not enough. No matter how hard you try to be careful about what you say, no matter how carefully you select your words,  » Read more

The post You Can Misunderstand People While Communicating in Person, Too appeared first on Poly.Land.

Out with the Old Brain, in with the New Brain — the Grief Brain

It’s been a month since my father died. That sentence, as I type it, feels like a lie. And not simply because a substantial part of me wishes it weren’t true, that my father were still alive, but also because of the “month” part.

Because even though I can look at the calendar,  » Read more

The post Out with the Old Brain, in with the New Brain — the Grief Brain appeared first on Poly.Land.

The Moment When I Realized I Couldn’t Become Impossible to Disappoint

I’m sitting in the midst of yet another week where folks seem hellbent on limboing under my already perilously low expectations.

I’ve heard it said so many times, typically by someone smug and tipping an imaginary or real hat, as they intone words they act like they made up but are just parroting.  » Read more

The post The Moment When I Realized I Couldn’t Become Impossible to Disappoint appeared first on Poly.Land.