Page Turner's Blog, page 44

No One Told Me About This Kind of Love Story Before

We’ve had a terrible evening. The next morning, we wake up already feeling exhausted. Full of regret.

The first thing you say to me is an apology. You tell me you feel awful. I try to let you off the hook, but you aren’t done feeling bad yet about what you said. So you make me really good coffee instead.  » Read more

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Nobody Weaponizes Kink Like I Do

“You know,” I say, “I feel like I’ve been training for lockdown for years and years.”

“Oh?” he replies.

I nod. “All that delayed gratification kink work I’ve been doing is really coming in handy.”

He laughs, but I explain that I’m not joking. Not really. It’s true that a lot I’ve wanted to do has gone on hold for what will likely be a long while yet (and has been about seven months on hold so far).  » Read more

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It Was the End of the World for Me. For You, It Was Tuesday.

It’s unfair. It really is.

It’s unfair how easy it is to say something that deeply wounds someone else. And unfair how long that wound can hurt, even if you didn’t mean the awful thing you said. Even if it was only said impulsively, in anger, shot out of your mouth in a torrent of testosterone.  » Read more

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Growing Up Trying to Be as Little Hassle as Possible

I was a really happy-go-lucky kid. Naturally. But as I grew older, I learned to lean more into this feeling. I took on a willingness to compromise. Didn’t need to get much of what I wanted.

This was because I had a few very particular people who also lived in my household. And they were always holding everything up.  » Read more

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People Are Having Less Sex During the Pandemic Because of COVID-19-Related Relationship Conflicts

When the COVID-19 pandemic first hit the United States, a lot of people were joking about an uptick in babies 9 months later. The idea was that with lockdown in place, we’d have very little to do. Few ways to entertain ourselves. And so people would resort to baby-making with full force.

As I write this,  » Read more

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It’s Common to Fantasize about Consensual Non-Monogamy & Reality Generally Lives Up to Fantasy

I recently stumbled onto a study that explores something I don’t actually have much experience with: The experience of fantasizing about consensual non-monogamy. As some long-time readers may know, I wasn’t all that interested in open relationships before I suddenly found myself in one. Polyamory came and found me, not the other way around.

So I don’t have a lot of experience with fantasizing about consensual non-monogamy without having tried it.  » Read more

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Sometimes My Attachment Style Is Platformer

Sometimes I think I really have it together. I can deal with impermanence, the uncertainty of the future. I’m more capable than my fear wants me to think I am, I remind myself.

Secure attachment, here we come!

And then other times? It’s like the ground is falling out from underneath me,  » Read more

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When You Disagree With Your Partner About How Out You Want to Be

These days, I’m happily in a relationship where we’re both on the same page re: how out we want to be. Which is a good thing because given the nature of my work, I’m pretty darn out.

But a long time ago, long before I was an author, I was in a relationship where this wasn’t the case.  » Read more

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The Worst Trust Issues Are the Ones You Have With Yourself

I can remember a time when I couldn’t trust myself. I could set an alarm in the morning, and there was always a chance — in that stupor of exhaustion — that I’d make some kind of deal with myself to sleep in.

And after a few swats at the alarm, I’d decide that whatever I was supposed to get up for wasn’t worth doing anyway.  » Read more

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I Thought I Was Monogamous. I Was Actually Obsessive.

I’ve written about it many times, but I’m very different from a lot of people who write prominently about consensual non-monogamy. Probably the most striking difference is that I’m more ambiamorous than polyamorous. What do I mean by that? I essentially mean that I’m about equally as happy being in a monogamous relationship as I am being in a polyamorous relationship system.  » Read more

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