Page Turner's Blog, page 40

I Long for Less Awkward “Quantity-Neutral” Forms

Kind of a miscellaneous gripe today, folks, but bear with me. I know they’re in vogue and tend to share well on social media (ah, so many writers are the mercy of the algorithm gods), but I generally don’t do a lot of ranty, complaining posts because… I don’t rant a lot in real life?  » Read more

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What 8 Months of COVID Lockdown Have Taught Me About Toxic (and Non-Toxic) Monogamy

This has been an awfully strange year for me. Since the middle of March, I’ve seen no one else in person aside from my live-in partner and the occasional delivery driver (both of us masked). The only person I’ve been unmasked around has been my live-in partner.

These are the perfect conditions for the kind of insularity that can threaten a bond,  » Read more

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Not Getting Enough Sleep Makes It More Difficult to Unlearn Fear

Stressful jobs can lead to you not getting enough sleep. And as it turns out, not getting enough sleep can make it easier for stressful fearful events to take hold of us. Today’s study drills down into this vicious cycle with the help of brain imaging.

Prior to this experiment, one third of the study participants slept normally,  » Read more

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A Mindset Called “Wise Reasoning” Can Lead to More Productive Relationship Conflicts

I’ve long been an advocate for the importance of being able to take other people’s perspectives — in general but specifically when it comes to close relationships. The worst conflicts I’ve had have been whenever one or both of us became utterly intransigent. Fixed in our views. And wouldn’t entertain that the other person was inhabiting a different position,  » Read more

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The Hardest Part Is the Moment When I Want to Text You But Know I Can’t

The hardest part of missing is you is that moment when I want to text you. That moment when I almost text you. But remember. And stop myself.

Because I know you won’t text me back. There’s no way for us to talk anymore.

I dream about you sometimes. And you talk to me then.  » Read more

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The Wedding Is Just Wrapping Paper. The Marriage Is the Gift.

I’ve been engaged three times. Married twice. I’ve had one broken engagement. One divorce.

And I’ve never had a big traditional, expensive wedding. Nor have I wanted to.

In fact, both times I got married I was on Team Let’s Elope. The first time, elopement was a no-go. I was, however,  » Read more

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When in Doubt, I Thank My Anxiety.

I don’t know about you, but the more I try to ignore my anxiety, the worse it gets.

I’ve heard tales about people who could run away from their problems indefinitely. Even find a sort of peace there.

But not me. My problems always catch up to me. And the longer I’m on the lam from my troubles,  » Read more

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What Is Perspecticide? (Abuse)

When I was 19 years old, I wound up in an abusive relationship. Kurt was 32 years old. He’d lived in multiple states. This really impressed me at the time. It was only later that I’d find out that he moved around because of legal trouble. And that he’d wound up living in Maine (where I grew up and where I met him) because Kurt had sought out his brother who had built a comfortable life for himself,  » Read more

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It Would Be Easier if We Could Do Other People’s Emotional Work for Them….But We Can’t

Once upon a time, I was that person stuck in a miserable relationship. I knew I was unhappy — and that my partner was unhappy, too. But I also knew that relationships were work. That it wasn’t always going to be easy.

So when things got hard in my first marriage,  » Read more

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“Of Course, Most People Feel Like I Do” — False Consensus Bias & You

Not everyone thinks the way you think, knows the things you know, believes the things you believe, nor acts the way you would act.

Remember this and you will go a long way in getting along with people.

-Arthur Forman

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False consensus bias is a cognitive bias that causes people to see our own behavior and opinions as more common than it actually is.  » Read more

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