Page Turner's Blog, page 41

“Single” Doesn’t Have to Mean “Lonely” or “Unhappy,” Especially When Your Friends Rock

Amatonormativity: (noun) the assumption that a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is normal for humans, in that it is a universally shared goal, and that such a relationship is normative, in the sense that it should be aimed at in preference to other relationship types

We’ve talked many times on this site about amatonormativity.  » Read more

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Are Lurkers & People Who Simply Scroll Away Different Than Those Who Engage?

I have a confession to make: I’m a natural lurker.

I’m a person who tends to read a lot more than I comment. Before I started writing daily in public (via this site), I rarely ever wrote online. Just a few status updates here and there. Always on a private, friends-locked platform.

Never in public forums.  » Read more

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It’s So Easy to Stop Trying Once You Get Comfortable. Don’t.

There’s a lot of joking about “letting yourself go” when you get into a long-term relationship. A lot of times people are referring to superficial concerns. Like gaining a few extra pounds. Not taking the same care to dress attractively.

That sort of thing.

But there’s a bigger threat, I think,  » Read more

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What’s Going On in My Life & What I’m Working On

Hey folks,

A while back, I wrote a post about how I write with aphantasia and answered some other questions you’d asked me. After that piece came out, I heard from a lot of you who were really grateful for the updates and said you’d like them more often.

So in today’s post,  » Read more

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The Fix for Insecurity Isn’t Compliments & Promises; It’s Gratitude.

Once upon a time, I thought that I would become secure if the right people just said the right words the right number of times. Like a magic spell, an incantation of love, all of the deficiencies within me — my wrongs — would be righted, if someone close to me only told me what I needed to hear.  » Read more

The post The Fix for Insecurity Isn’t Compliments & Promises; It’s Gratitude. appeared first on Poly.Land.

I Love Friends Who Travel Well

“I feel like social media has primed us all to be worse friends,” she says.

“Huh,” I say.

“You don’t agree?” she says.

“Well, I don’t know. I’m not sure I know exactly what you mean by that,” I say. “It sounds interesting.”

“I feel like everything’s been turned into a performance.  » Read more

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We Like & Get Along Better With People Who Are Similar to Us

What makes us want to be friends with someone? What makes for a good, satisfying romantic relationship?

Some people would say that opposites attract. But frankly, decades of empirical research point in the other direction: Compatibility is based on having things in common. While there seems to be a role for complementarity —  » Read more

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Being Interrupted at Work Physically Stresses You Out

Once upon a time, I was the manager of a large training department at a psychological consulting firm. I loved some things about that position but other things… not so much. The thing I liked the least about that job was probably the commute. It was 45 minutes each way in no traffic and good weather but often took me about 2 hours in typical rush hour conditions.  » Read more

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I Used to Be in Such a Hurry

I used to be in such a hurry. All of the time.

I hurried even when I had nothing really going on. Heck, especially when I had nothing going on. In moments that should have been relaxing. At times that I was doing something I enjoyed.

When I was sitting talking with someone,  » Read more

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I Am Working on Presents for My Future Self

I’ve been in near-complete lockdown since mid March of 2020. This is because I work from home (and so does my partner).

My family of origin and in-laws both live hundreds of miles away cross-country, so there’s little pressure to do any in-person gatherings because the logistics are a bit daunting even in non-COVID times.  » Read more

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