Page Turner's Blog, page 46

It’s Probably Best Not to Judge Your Adult Life By Childhood Dreams

“You know,” I say to my friend. “I think 12-year-old me would be pretty impressed with how my life is going.” I have cats. My love life is good. I’m writing full time, which isn’t lucrative by a long shot, but I make it work.

And I wear lots of dresses. That was apparently important to her.  » Read more

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The Pressure of Thriving When Surviving Has Been Precarious For So Long

In another piece, I talked about midlife crisis. But I didn’t dive as deeply into it as I probably should have. I stayed on the surface, wondering about it in passing — what midlife crisis actually was. And if it actually existed, outside of silly jokes about it.

I missed what it looks like in my own life.  » Read more

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Don’t Talk Yourself Out of Deep, Meaningful Connection By Calling It Unrealistic

There’s a meme I made a while back that I post from time to time. The lead-in caption reads, “When you’re making up with someone and they take responsibility for their part in the argument and you also take responsibility for yours.”

Beneath this lead-in is a photograph of actress Tatyana Ali in her role of Ashley Banks on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  » Read more

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What Are Love Maps?

I tend to be a very intentional person. A planner. It’s probably why I became a psychological researcher in the first place. When I discovered there was a discipline already in place that tests our intuitions about each other and how the interpersonal world operates… well, it was frankly a huge relief.

I do a weekend series on this blog called “  » Read more

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What’s It Like to Grow Up With Polyamorous Parents? The Answer Is Boring.

I know I don’t write a ton about polyamorous parenting on this blog, mostly because I am not a parent and don’t spend a lot of time with children. I don’t have any children myself. I did have partners in the past that had children, but it has been a while.

That said,  » Read more

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Simply the Scent of Your Long-Term Partner Can Help You Sleep Better

Well, today’s study is kind of cool. I haven’t written about it too much, but both of my parents had insomnia. They both had different kinds, and I took after both of them, so sleep has been a constant struggle for me throughout my life. When I was a little girl, I was usually the first one up in the house,  » Read more

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Men & Women Are Different When It Comes to Being Willing to Help Crying People

I’m a person who has always cried pretty easily. It’s one of the reasons I know I’m sensitive, even though I try not to let things get me down and to bounce back. Over the years, I’ve learned how to work around my tears when they spring up at an inconvenient time. I have a bunch of mental/physical tricks to prevent myself from crying at a bad time.  » Read more

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How to Deal With It When One Partner Wants to Have Deep Conversations Before Bed & the Other Really Doesn’t

Hi Page, 

I really liked your article “I Wish I Didn’t Feel Like Having Deep Conversations Right Before Bed.” It was relevant to me because I’ve been in both positions. I’ve been the person wanting to talk about something heavy at the wrong time and also the person who just wants to get to sleep already and is annoyed.  » Read more

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My Life Got So Much Better When I Stopped Worrying if I Were Good-Looking & Assumed I Was Average

I mentioned this a bit in an earlier post, but one of the most helpful things I ever did was to stop worrying if I were good-looking. Instead, I started to just assume I was average.

If people compliment my appearance, I thank them and leave it at that. No need to argue like I’m Jimmy Stewart lecturing an old-timey movie courtroom.  » Read more

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I Promise I Will Never Be Passive-Aggressive With You

I know she hurt you, but I’m not her.

I never will be. Never have been.

It’s tough sometimes, how you confuse us. How you assume that when I’m quiet and sad that it’s because I’m passive-aggressively seething. That I’m going to trick you or trap you.

I know that’s what she did.  » Read more

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