Page Turner's Blog, page 142

PQ 16.1 — When my partners have competing desires, how well do I express what I need? Do I make sure my own desires aren’t lost in the shuffle?

PQ 16.1 — When my partners have competing desires, how well do I express what I need? Do I make sure my own desires aren’t lost in the shuffle?

*

There’s a certain kind of story I grew up believing: No sacrifice was too great for love. In fact, my own personal picture of love required a large sacrifice.  » Read more

The post PQ 16.1 — When my partners have competing desires, how well do I express what I need? Do I make sure my own desires aren’t lost in the shuffle? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 15.6 — How do I leave space for new people to come into my life?

PQ 15.6 — How do I leave space for new people to come into my life?

*

This question reminds me of a guest post I featured last year by Fluffy titled “Being Single Sucks, But We Don’t Want to Hear About It.” In that post,  » Read more

The post PQ 15.6 — How do I leave space for new people to come into my life? appeared first on Poly.Land.

10 Things That Happened When I Exclusively Dated a Man Who Wanted Sex Way Less Often Than I Did

Like most people, I grew up being told that when it comes to sex that men are the gas, women are the brakes.

However, when I entered my first long-term monogamous relationship, I discovered the hard way that not everyone follows this pattern. In fact, my boyfriend wanted sex way less often than I did.  » Read more

The post 10 Things That Happened When I Exclusively Dated a Man Who Wanted Sex Way Less Often Than I Did appeared first on Poly.Land.

The Scariest Thing About Polyamory Is Also One of the Best

“I’ve thought of something you should write about,” she tells me.

“Oh?” I say. She’s not the type to offer up ideas very often. Not much of an unsolicited advice giver. And her insights are usually great. So she has my interest.

“It’s about something I’ve never really heard anybody talk about in relation to polyamory,”  » Read more

The post The Scariest Thing About Polyamory Is Also One of the Best appeared first on Poly.Land.

Getting Away from Comparisons: The Maze Is Different, So the Map Will Be, Too

Hi Page, I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. I particularly love your post on how to feel more secure in relationships. I did have one question though: How do you stop comparing yourself to others?  I know it’s not doing me any favors to worry about how I measure up to my partner’s other partners.   » Read more

The post Getting Away from Comparisons: The Maze Is Different, So the Map Will Be, Too appeared first on Poly.Land.

I Don’t Regret Dating You. I’m Grateful for the Wound You Gave Me.

Maybe it should have told me more than it did, that we liked the same band — but for completely different reasons.

He was attracted to the drama of their music. The dynamics, especially the highs. When he sang along, it was a form of emotional expression he couldn’t get anywhere else. A vessel for his unacceptable feelings.  » Read more

The post I Don’t Regret Dating You. I’m Grateful for the Wound You Gave Me. appeared first on Poly.Land.

But Isn’t Polyamory Bad for Children?

Every morning I said hello to my third roommate: Xena Warrior Princess.

She was cardboard, all 6 feet of her, and well dressed for any occasion in her armored dress, her chakra at the ready, her smoky bedroom eyes daring me to just go ahead — get too perky before a reasonable hour.  » Read more

The post But Isn’t Polyamory Bad for Children? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 15.5 — How do I define “commitment”? Do my definitions leave room for nontraditional commitments and nontraditional relationship trajectories?

PQ 15.5 — How do I define “commitment”? Do my definitions leave room for nontraditional commitments and nontraditional relationship trajectories?

*

Here is a good example of commitment, drawn from an earlier piece:

I walked a mile in the bitter cold to get him DayQuil while he was buried up to his neck in covers,  » Read more

The post PQ 15.5 — How do I define “commitment”? Do my definitions leave room for nontraditional commitments and nontraditional relationship trajectories? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 15.4 — What do I need from my relationships? How often do I reevaluate my needs?

PQ 15.4 — What do I need from my relationships? How often do I reevaluate my needs?

*

It’s taken a long time for me to get a handle on what exactly I need from my relationships. But I think I’ve finally pinpointed where real compatibility lies:

Shared values.   » Read more

The post PQ 15.4 — What do I need from my relationships? How often do I reevaluate my needs? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Poly Pitfalls: Confusing Polysaturation with Oversaturation

“Oh, Page, I’ve screwed it up big this time,” she says.

“What’s going on?” I ask her.

“Well, you remember when I told you I had a full dance card?” she says.

I do.

“I think full was an understatement.”

“Oh no,” I say.

“Yeah,”  » Read more

The post Poly Pitfalls: Confusing Polysaturation with Oversaturation appeared first on Poly.Land.