Page Turner's Blog, page 139

PQ 16.9– Do I support my partners’ relationships with one another in ways that respect their agency and right to choose their level of intimacy?

PQ 16.9– Do I support my partners’ relationships with one another in ways that respect their agency and right to choose their level of intimacy?

*

I take a deep breath and type the following:

So I’m in a weird situation and wanted to keep you in the loop.   » Read more

The post PQ 16.9– Do I support my partners’ relationships with one another in ways that respect their agency and right to choose their level of intimacy? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 16.8 — Do my accommodations improve my relationships or create other problems?

PQ 16.8 — Do my accommodations improve my relationships or create other problems?

*

Justin has always worried about me. He can’t help it.

I used to have a hell of a work commute. On a day without traffic, accidents, or inclement weather conditions, it took about 40 minutes for me to get to the office.  » Read more

The post PQ 16.8 — Do my accommodations improve my relationships or create other problems? appeared first on Poly.Land.

When I’m Asking Why You Love Me, I’m Really Asking What Love Is to You

Fall 2011

I’d been sitting in counseling for the better part of a 50-minute hour, talking about my soon-to-be ex-husband.

“What you’re realizing,” my therapist said, “is that he didn’t really love you.”

I protested, told her that he said it plenty.

“While he may have said he loved you,  » Read more

The post When I’m Asking Why You Love Me, I’m Really Asking What Love Is to You appeared first on Poly.Land.

Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again

Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.

They previously contributed four articles to Poly.Land:

Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?
I Was Treated as a Disease Vector: Why There Are So Few Gay Men in Pansexual Polyamory
Being Single Sucks,

  » Read more

The post Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again appeared first on Poly.Land.

It’s Easier to Be Polyamorous with Some Partners Than Others

“Sometimes I think I must be bad at poly,” she says.

“Why do you say that?” I ask.

“I just seem to be having a lot more trouble than any of our other friends. I don’t know. After a while, you start to think there’s something wrong with you.”

I hesitate because I’m not sure how to say this.  » Read more

The post It’s Easier to Be Polyamorous with Some Partners Than Others appeared first on Poly.Land.

Sleeping with the Enemy: On Women Dating Women While Still Viewing Them as Competition

“Keep your top on,” she said.

“Sure,” I said, dropping my arms to my sides and then quickly wrapping them around her waist. And as we kissed, I moved my hands up her torso, feeling her body through her shirt. Her chest had its own topography. Subtle places where she came in. Went out.  » Read more

The post Sleeping with the Enemy: On Women Dating Women While Still Viewing Them as Competition appeared first on Poly.Land.

Rolling His Ideas About Me Around in His Head, Tumbling Them Like Stones

Like most failures to communicate, ours begins on a very small scale. On matters so tiny they’re forgotten almost as soon as the words are spoken. He’s so close when he hears me, but he always gets part of what I say wrong.

At first I notice that his replies don’t quite make sense when paired with what I’m saying.  » Read more

The post Rolling His Ideas About Me Around in His Head, Tumbling Them Like Stones appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?

PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?

*

You know, when it comes to my anchor partner, I’m really lucky.

Not because he never experiences jealousy (he most certainly does), but because he understands a very crucial distinction between the following two things:

What you’re doing is causing me pain.

  » Read more

The post PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 16.6 – What boundaries do I set for myself in relation to each of my partners?

PQ 16.6 – What boundaries do I set for myself in relation to each of my partners?

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For anyone looking for a basic introduction to boundaries as well as a quick framework to managing them in a polyamorous relationship system, I would recommend this post: PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries,  » Read more

The post PQ 16.6 – What boundaries do I set for myself in relation to each of my partners? appeared first on Poly.Land.

I’m Strongly Biased Against That Happening

It’s been a long dark night of brain weasel attacks. I’ve mismanaged a complicated situation. A party.

Looking back on events, I can’t figure out whether I’ve shown my partners too much affection or too little. But either way, my emotions warn me that I’ve done something wrong. The pieces aren’t fitting quite where they should.  » Read more

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