Page Turner's Blog, page 137

PQ 17.3 — What guarantees do I want from my relationships? Are they realistic?

PQ 17.3 — What guarantees do I want from my relationships? Are they realistic?

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There is no such thing as a lover’s oath.

-Plato

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“You know,” he says. “The way you’ve been acting lately, it really worries me.”

“Oh?” I say.  » Read more

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When You Can’t Claim Your Abuse Without Naming Your Abuser

Surviving abuse can be one of the most lonely experiences there is.

That’s because in most people’s eyes, you can’t claim your abuse without naming your abuser. The suffering is real, but unless you have a bona fide monster to pin it on, it gets argued away (see just world bias).  » Read more

The post When You Can’t Claim Your Abuse Without Naming Your Abuser appeared first on Poly.Land.

My Number One Kink Is Direct Communication

It’s been decades, but I still vividly remember my old elementary school. It was a brick building. Standing outside at recess, I’d often stare at those walls,  fascinated by the flaws in the blocks, the cracks and places where they were uneven. I was generally a talkative kid and often very social but occasionally I’d get overwhelmed.  » Read more

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Apparently Breakup Revenge Is a Thing, But Will It Make You Feel Better?

Hi Page, I was wondering what you think of this… 

She’s sent me links to several articles about “breakup revenge.”

“What?” I say aloud (even though I’m alone). “That’s a thing?”

I click through. And sure ’nuff, it’s a thing.

There are scads of how-to articles teaching people how to “get even”  » Read more

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Poly Pitfalls: Flattening the Layers, Mixing Up the Emotions of One Relationship with Another

Page, are you awake? the IM reads.

I only opened the message window because it was flashing at me. I had been about to go to bed, but now the software marks it as read. And it’s someone I don’t hear from often.

Yeah, I’m here,  » Read more

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Video Games That Let You Date Multiple People at Once

Hi Page, I read that you’re a gamer and one of your projects is a PC game that revolves around polyamory. That sounds exciting, but I can’t wait for that. Do you know of any games that are currently out that are inclusive of polyamory or at least let you date multiple people at once?   » Read more

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PQ 17.2 — What parts of my relationships are most important? How can I preserve those elements while knowing that my relationships will change over time?

PQ 17.2 — What parts of my relationships are most important? How can I preserve those elements while knowing that my relationships will change over time?

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There’s a kind of rhythm to my life with Justin. We move in tandem. Pretty much effortlessly. We sleep in the same bed, eat most meals together.  » Read more

The post PQ 17.2 — What parts of my relationships are most important? How can I preserve those elements while knowing that my relationships will change over time? appeared first on Poly.Land.

PQ 17.1 — What assumptions do I have about what my relationships “should” look like? How are these assumptions influenced by the cultural narratives about monogamy, and how much are they truly mine?

PQ 17.1 — What assumptions do I have about what my relationships “should” look like? How are these assumptions influenced by the cultural narratives about monogamy, and how much are they truly mine?

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Assumptions are often hidden to us, and as such, they’re easier seen in hindsight, after we don’t have them anymore.  » Read more

The post PQ 17.1 — What assumptions do I have about what my relationships “should” look like? How are these assumptions influenced by the cultural narratives about monogamy, and how much are they truly mine? appeared first on Poly.Land.

Poly Pitfalls: The Mass Mailing Issue

Often when people talk about polyamory, they focus on a few, very specific problems. In particular, “How do you deal with the jealousy?” gets a lot of attention (please see this post for that answer). And it’s true that for many people, the hardest task of the first year or two of polyamory is learning how to become more emotionally secure and essentially becoming a better emotional parent to yourself (work which happily can translate to all negative emotions and not simply jealousy).  » Read more

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Without Polyamory, I Probably Never Would Have Dated My Husband

I adore my husband. He loves and supports me so much that it humbles me. He’s raised my standards for what I believed was possible in love and relationships.

And perhaps the most amazing part of the whole experience of finding him is this: I probably wouldn’t have dated him when I was monogamous.  » Read more

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