Bridget Chase's Blog, page 7
August 8, 2018
New Release: Venum, Parody Fiction
Summary:
Eddie Broccoli is a reporter. He came across a beautiful woman on the street and felt that she had a news worthy story somewhere under them clothes of hers. Following the two f%cking like prairie dogs, our pal Eddie finds himself with an S.T.D.; but, and that’s a big ‘ol but; like, a but that makes ya’ go, ‘Why me? Why me? Why me?’ Eddie’s STD becomes an entity; and an entity trying to take over. This stringy, black oil wants to bring the villain out in him; and, our boy Eddie, ain’t the only person exposed. Nope; Evil Dr. Bad has found himself the perfect career criminal to test the toxicity of this parasitic biological tar. Like any greatly written, and uniquely creative story, this test gets out of control.
This is a new series of books where I watch trailers for upcoming films and write a short story based on what is shown of the film in the preview. I write stupid shit of what I think will occur, and basically, just fuck up the whole Hollywood movie recipe in a new way that would never be shown in theaters because it isn’t the status quo.
About Bridget Chase
Bridget Chase is an American author. He was born in Houston Texas; studied art at the University of Texas San Antonio (bore) where he received his Bachelor of Fine Art. He was a school teacher for many years, but left because it sucked ass. Bridget currently resides in Boulder Colorado where he has an art studio and works everyday writing new stories and eating pizza.
New Release: Venum, Kindle E-Book by Bridget Chase
Summary:
Eddie Broccoli is a reporter. He came across a beautiful woman on the street and felt that she had a news worthy story somewhere under them clothes of hers. Following the two f%cking like prairie dogs, our pal Eddie finds himself with an S.T.D.; but, and that’s a big ‘ol but; like, a but that makes ya’ go, ‘Why me? Why me? Why me?’ Eddie’s STD becomes an entity; and an entity trying to take over. This stringy, black oil wants to bring the villain out in him; and, our boy Eddie, ain’t the only person exposed. Nope; Evil Dr. Bad has found himself the perfect career criminal to test the toxicity of this parasitic biological tar. Like any greatly written, and uniquely creative story, this test gets out of control.
This is a new series of books where I watch trailers for upcoming films and write a short story based on what is shown of the film in the preview. I write stupid shit of what I think will occur, and basically, just fuck up the whole Hollywood movie recipe in a new way that would never be shown in theaters because it isn’t the status quo.
About Bridget Chase
Bridget Chase is an American author. He was born in Houston Texas; studied art at the University of Texas San Antonio (bore) where he received his Bachelor of Fine Art. He was a school teacher for many years, but left because it sucked ass. Bridget currently resides in Boulder Colorado where he has an art studio and works everyday writing new stories and eating pizza.
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August 3, 2018
Inside the Book: Charles is Charged by Bridget Chase, Kindle eBook
Scott Baio has been framed for murder. At least that is what he believes. Everyone else think he killed the Pembroke family. They also think him to be Charles, the fictional character he played during Charles in Charge. Scott’s friend Buddy Lembeck comes to the rescue and helps that jail bird fly the coup. With the help of a CIA assassin, the three set out to find what sinister mind is behind the heinous plot of framing America’s Sweetheart, Scott Baio, for murder; and the solution involves quantum travel.
Sample:
A Mere Mortal
Scott Baio was strapped down to a table.
A doctor filled a syringe.
Scott had been charged on murder and was about to find out what happens after death.
Lethal injection, shit; fuck, fuck; I’m scared; I didn’t kill them; this cant’ be happening.
His mind rolled in a violent tsunami.
Two armed guards stood by the door.
A two-way mirror was the main feature in the stark room.
On the other side, were unknown people watching the execution.
How can they watch me die? I’m innocent!
“I’m innocent,” he said.
The two guards held stern faces. One said, “That’s what they all say.”
“No, Charles; you are guilty,” the doctor said with a sinister grin. He was a bald man with no facial hair and smooth skin. Ah, that about does it. He squirted poison from the end of the syringe.
“It’s best you accept your actions. You’re going to see the lord today.”
“Dammit, I told you my name is Scott. Fuck, Charles was just a character I played and the Pembrokes were a fictional family. None of this makes any sense.”
One of the guards stormed over.
“You psychotic piece of shit! I saw what you did to those girls and her paren-,”
The other guard hurried over and placed a hand on the guard’s shoulder, “Let it go. This guy is getting what he deserves. Come on, people are watching.”
“You’re right.”
The two guards went back to the door. The upset guard sniffed and wiped a tear away.
“Any last words?” the doctor asked. He held the syringe to the bulging vein on Scott’s forearm.
Last words?
His racing heart and mind fired like fireworks making any rational thought impossible.
Scott’s lips moved but no sound came out.
“Fine; Charles you are herby being put to death by lethal injection for the murder of the Pembroke family. May God have mercy upon your soul.”
Scott whimpered. “I’m not Charles.”
KA-BOOM!
What Friends Are For?
Scott thought that was it. The leaving of the world was like an explosion.
“Charles, It’s me; Charles?”
Scott opened his eyes.
I can’t see!
From the haze, emerged a face.
“Charles it’s me Buddy; Buddy Lembeck.”
“William Aames?”
“No, Buddy; come on. I’m getting outta’ here.”
The shackles on Charles’ wrists were removed.
The ones on his ankles were then loosened.
Scott sat up.
Smoke from the explosion filled the room.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!
A sudden shower of rain was released.
“Come on,” Buddy said; he helped Scott off the table.
COUGH! A guard on the ground moaned and rolled over.
The double mirror was blown out. Everyone on the other side, had fled.
“What’s happening, William? Why are you here?”
Buddy helped Charles through the broken two-way mirror.
“WHOA!” Charles stopped.
A woman stood there wearing dark sleek tactical gear and held an assault rifle.
“Easy, she’s with us,” Buddy said.
“This way, I got a clear path,” the woman said. She was devastatingly beautiful. Like a real knockout- brunette hair, a lean athletic build, and eyes that kill; but the giant assault rifle was what really kills.
“She’s amazing,” Scott said.
Buddy said, “I know that’s Firefox.”
BOOOM!
A flash and then smoke.
(COUGH) “Maybe not. Fuck, we were followed,” Firefox said, “Move.”
With a hand she pushed them against the wall next to the door.
CLAKK-CLAKKK!
POP, SNAP! Bullet ate the door frame.
Splintered fragments flew.
Firefox crouched and leaned her back to the wall.
A break in gunfire.
She leaned out.
KA-KA-KA-KAKKK!
The muzzle flashes lit the smoke.
The gunfire was returned.
“Here.” Firefox held out an uzi for Buddy.
He took it, “What do I do?”
“Lay down fire above my head. I’m going in.”
Going in, who is this chick? Scott wondered. I nearly pissed myself and she is going in? Is any of this happening? I must be dead.
Buddy nodded.
In a low crouch, Firefox disappeared thought he door and into the smoke.
Buddy stood and aimed high.
BRAA-KA-KA-KA-KK!
Hot rounds flew down the hall.
Firefox stayed low; she pulled a nasty knife from her leg sheath.
The popping light guided her.
There one is.
She could see an elbow sticking around the corner.
I don’t know how many there are.
She was about to find out.
Firefox grabbed the exposed arm.
She tore around the corner and right as the guy was gasping, STAB! She shoved the knife up-under the soldier’s helmet and under his chin.
The guy screamed in a quick pitch and then was silent. The sharp end of the knife popped out on of his eyes, POP!
Firefox spun in a ballet of practiced death.
Three other guards were startled and raised their guns.
She, STAB! Drove the blade into the first guy’s groin. He howled. Still moving, SLICE! Tore the grisly blade across the next guy’s neck.
Scott heard the men scream, “She’s butchering them!”
“That’s Firefox for ya’,” Buddy said, “I was lucky to get her aboard this mission. Her services costed five million dollars.”
“Holy shit, how’d you pay her?”
Buddy leaned out and peered down the hall.
A last dying scream resounded.
He slid back next to Charles. “Ah, it was this whole thing where me, and my buddies, robbed a bunch of casinos and such. I think they made a couple movies based off our heists.”
Wow, is Buddy really a kick ass casino robber? Or am I in some afterlife?
“We’re clear,” Firefox yelled down the hall.
“Good, let’s get you outta’ here, buddy,” Buddy said.
“Geez, and go where? I’m a convicted murderer.”
The Quantum Conundrum
“Thanks,” Scott said to the waitress.
“Isn’t this place great?” Firefox asked. “I always come eat here after I kill people.”
“Yeah, sure is,” Buddy said. He popped a salty fried pickle into his eager mouth; followed by a big swig of cold beer.
The waitress set down burger and fries in front of each of them.
Scott picked up the beer. It was frothy and super cold. SWIG, “Oh that’s good. Especially because like an hour ago I thought I was going to die ‘n shit.”
The three sat at a small table in the dive restaurant.
Scott had a beer mustache on his baby smooth upper lip. “So. what’s the plan? How did I get framed for murder? And how do I know I’m really not dead and this is some strange fake reality?”
Firefox popped a delicious, salty fried pickles into her beautiful mouth. She smiled cheerfully as him, “Oh, you’re not dead. This is real. If it weren’t you wouldn’t have flinched at the gunfire.”
“Hmm.”
Buddy chimed in, “I’m not sure who did this but anyone that frames my best friend should die.” He took a bite of the burger. Cheese and grease dripped onto the wax wrapper. CHEW CHEW! “I do have an idea of who done it.”
“Yeah, who is that?”
WIPE! Buddy smeared a napkin across his mouth. “Well, I don’t know their name, but I suspect it was an one armed man.”
Scott rolled his eyes, “Oh, Buddy.”
“What, its true. A man missing a limb is up to no good. Science, bitch!”
Firefox butted in, “Is there someone from your past who might have done this to you?”
Scott was staring at her cleavage. Twin compact, springy mounds held tight by her combat jumpsuit. Damn, could those tits be any prettier? Maybe this is heaven?
Firefox, played by Amy Acker, noticed; she didn’t say anything.
“Um,” Scott Baio thought a moment. “No, no one comes to mind. Everyone pretty much adored me.”
“Hey look,” Buddy said. “That guy over at the table.”
He pointed to some old man with a large grey speckled beard wearing a slicker, like a fisherman.
“Yeah,” Scott said.
“He looks bad. I’m going to check him out,” Buddy said. He got up from the table and went to the bartender. He said something. The bartender pulled out a long samurai sword from behind the bar. Buddy thanked him.
“What’s he doing?” Scott asked Firefox.
She sipped her ice-cold beer, “Probably nothing good.”
“Hey, old man,” Buddy said
The fisherman turned, “Huh?”
SLICE! Buddy brought the blade down.
CHOP! SCREAM! The fisherman howled. His chopped off arm fell onto the table and then on to the floor. Blood sprayed from the severed shoulder. It sprayed the people sitting at nearby tables.
“I got him,” Buddy shouted to Scott. He had a big ‘ol gin on his face.
Blood and dark matter pelted the ground in rhythmic spurts like a heartbeat.
Firefox turned away from the scene and asked, “You sure you don’t know who did this?”
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August 1, 2018
Inside the Book: Eighty Fists of Death by Bridget Chase, Kindle eBook
Well, like most stories; this one starts at the beginning.
Jessica Biel is kidnapped. Van Damme’s granny, Granny Damme, can’t stand by while such a sweet girl is in the hands of a madman; and this madman happens to be Steven Seagal, who is the worst kind of madman. Justin Timberlake teams up with Granny Damme, and her cat Kurt Wussels to find Jessica and free her. Steven has other hostages, who he plans to kill while vacationing aboard a cruise ship. Oh, and he loves raptors. I can’t tell you what happens; but yeah, that is like a mini spoiler or something.
So read or don’t; laugh or don’t; be happy or don’t.
I got more shit to write; see ya!
Sample:
Jessica Biel
“Jessica Biel’s been kidnapped! Sweet Jesus. Jean Claude! Jean Claude!”
Jean Claude climbed out from under the upstairs sink. “What you want Granny?” he shouted.
His old grandma shouted at him from downstairs. “Jessica Biel’s been kidnapped. Once you’re done fixin’ that sink, I think we should go do something. She’s such a sweet girl, don’t ya’ think?”
Jean Claude put down his wrench. He got up and went to the top of the stairs. His granny looked up to him from the first floor.
She was old, like eighty, with a purple sundress, big ‘ol thick glasses, knobby legs, drooping cheeks and hair like Van Damme in ‘Time Cop’, except white. Well, really, she looked a lot like Van Damme if he were eighty, wearing a dress, and had lipstick smearing a wide ring around his lips.
“We can’t do anything Granny; best to leave it to the police,” he said.
“Those police won’t do nothing, shee-it. Did I raise a Jean Claude, or did I raise a Van Damme?”
“Grandma, that doesn’t make any sense.” He gripped the banister railing. Shit, what does she think we can do?
Granny Damme started to cry. “It’s Jessica Biel, she’s beautiful, lovely, such a sweetheart, and in the hands of a madman.”
“How do you know it’s a madman?”
“Because of this!” Granny Damme whipped out a newspaper from behind her back.
“I can’t see it,” Jean Claude said, “I’m coming down.” FLIP! He somersaulted the banister and fell a story to the ground “Umph!” Jean Claude took the paper from her.
The headline read: Jessica Biel, God’s reason for creating the world, has been kidnapped.
There was also a picture of the suspect.
“STEVEN SEAGAL!” ROAR! Van Damme crushed the newspaper into a little ball in his hands. “That fucker!” he tossed the wad and, SPIN! THWAK! Spin kicked the crumpled paper. It went flying into the kitchen and landed in a pile of other wadded up newspapers.
“Hey, I wasn’t done reading that” Granny Damme said.
“I’m done with these ridiculous stories involving Steven Seagal. Just let the police handle it.”
Granny Damme sighed, “Oh, Jessica; you poor beautiful thang.”
Jean Claude climbed the stairs. “I’m gonna’ finish fixing your sink and then we can have a nice lunch.”
“Grilled cheese?”
“Sure, grilled cheese. Now please, forget about this nonsense.”
“I can never forget Jessica Biel, never. She’s such a sweet girl,” she said under her breath.
Granny Damme went to the coat closet. She opened the door buried herself inside and rummaged the top shelf. “There they are.”
She pulled down a shoe box.
Granny Damme cradles the shoebox in her hands and went to the living room. She sat down on the plastic covered couch and placed the box in her lap.
She opened the lid.
A pair of worn out sneakers were inside.
“It’s been a long time, fellas; but looks like I need my ass kicking shoes, again.”
Oh That Ponytail
“Dance with me.”
“This is weird,” Jessica Biel said. She was tied to a chair.
Steven Seagal held her ponytail in his arms. “I thought I lost you forever, my love.” He rubbed the hair against his cheek. “How did you wind up on her head of all people? Oh, it doesn’t matter I’m just glad to have you back. You’re so pretty… yes, you are…,”
The hair said nothing.
“Seriously, just let me go. I won’t press charges,” Jessica said.
“Hush, I’m trying to enjoy this reunion. It might not be important to you; but I’ve waited decades to find my ponytail again.”
“Ouch!” Jessica’s head was yanked.
Steven hugged her ponytail too his chest and swayed like it was a lover.
“Now that I found you, I’ll never let you go. We can be together forever!”
Steven imagined his ponytail in a white gown. Oh. wouldn’t it be grand.
How great it would be giving his vows to his pony tail and then slipping a ring onto the strands of hair.
Forever…
“Ouch, easy,” Jessica said. “Just cut it off and let me go. It will grow back. You can have it.”
Steven dropped the gathered hair. “Cut it off? Are you crazy? My ponytail is a living thing. No, we’ll just have to figure out how to manage this relationship. I’m thinking I’ll have you put into a medically induced coma.”
“A what?” Jessica’s eyes went wide. “You can’t!”
Steven picked back up the hair. He petted it. “We’ll see. Either way, it would be best for you to be unconscious when I take my ponytail to bed tonight. Old Steven’s getting horny, baby!” He smiled cheerfully.
Jessica peered over her shoulder.
Below Steven’s hefty gut was a tent pitched in his pants. It pushed out on his oriental robe thing.
Yuck!
The bloated actions star swayed. “Hey, Short Round, why don’t you go ahead and buy us tickets for a cruise this week. It’s time to vacation with my love-,” He kissed the ponytail. “-And kill the things I hate.”
Steven glared over at his captives.
Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson and Sinead ‘O Connor were tied and gagged and lay in a pile together in the corner. They smelled of piss and shit.
Those bastards! Killers of magical ponytails. Yes, they will die at the bottom of the ocean!
“Sure tang Mr. Jones… I mean Mr. Sa’gal,” Short Round said- the Asian kid from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. He swiveled around in his office chair- cheap office chair- and typed on the computer. Oh, I hope he w’ewease me after this ow’er. He not fun to work fow as Mr. Jones. Nope, Mr. Jones nevew make me scwub back or ass.
“Soon, my life will be complete,” Steven said, “Oh, and Short Round. Find out how to induce a coma with drugs, would ya?”
“Sure tang Mr. Sa’gal!
Jessica hung her head.
“No you’re the cutie,” Steven said to the hair, “No you are!” He tickled the hair with a fat finger.
Craigslist
Granny Damme listed an ad in the personals section on Craigslist.
Woman seeking man.
The ad stated that she was in need on a new grandson. One that would help in retrieving Jessica Biel from the arms of a madman.
Adventurous type, a must.
Granny Damme pushed her glasses upper her nose and waited.
Refresh…
Refresh…
Refresh…
She was impatient to get an email response.
I hope it will be someone strong and manly.
DING DONG!
Why, who could that be?
Granny Damme got up from her pink chair.
Oh, how lovely to have a visitor.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
“Impatient assholes aren’t they?” she asked her cat Kurt Wussels.
She shambled to the door.
“Oh, dear me, Justin Timberlake?”
“Yes ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you; did you by chance hear the news?”
“Oh, yes I did.”
Granny Damme wiped the front of her sundress trying to make herself more presentable.
“Your wife has been kidnapped.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Tears built in his eyes. Justin started sobbing with a hand covering his mouth.
“Oh, there, there.” She patted his back.
Justin cried hard. He was bent over with hands on his knees.
Granny Damme asked, “So, what can i do for you?”
BING! He stood up, nose and eyes dry. “Why yes, I was hoping to enlist the help of your grandson; I need Van Damme’s services in ass kickery. I went by his mom’s house and she said that he was here, fixing your sink.”
“Oh, you met my daughter. Isn’t she just a peach?”
“No, ma’am, she was a woman, but very sweet indeed. Anyways-,” Justin leaned in and tried to look inside, “Is Van Damme here?”
“Oh, yes come on in.” Granny Dame stepped aside.
-Long story short…
“Yep, too bad Van Damme wouldn’t help but between he three of us, I think we can save Jessica,” Justin said. He sat in the passenger seat.
“Oh, we’ll save her. Hell, every mish I’ve had with Kurt Wussels turns out okay.”
Granny Damme steered the vehicle. “It’s pretty cool you have the Thunder Cats vehicle.”
The vehicle was a steel number with a cat face, open cockpit, and huge paws coming off the front. Its tank-treads tore up the freeway and its body consumed several lanes.
Cars swerve and crashed. People screamed and swerved their vehicles. Smoke and fire littered the freeway behind them.
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July 30, 2018
Inside the Book: Sasquatch of Mars by Bridget Chase, An Action Comedy Short Story Kindle eBook
Drone footage retrieved from Mars shows something all too familiar. Could there really be Sasquatch on Mars? A NASA and military team embark on a secret operation. Mary, a NASA astronaut, enlists Bigfoot to make the journey with the them. This could be the most important find in history but Bigfoot really is only interested in one thing, Mary. Adventure, action, laughs, in depth descriptions of the women.
Sample:
Chapter 1
“This can’t be.”
The thin scientist adjusted his glasses.
“Play it again.”
The assistant clicked repeat.
Dr. Tamer held his breath.
The screen showed footage taken from a drone on Mars.
From the left side of the screen came an animal. It walked on two legs, was covered in fur, and for a brief moment looked over at the camera.
The resolution sucked, but Dr. Tamer knew what he saw.
“A Sasquatch on Mars.”
∞
Damn look at that ass. Bigfoot starred at Mary’s gorgeous figure.
Mary is played by the ultra-fine Gal Gadot.
She was leaning over a table and talking to Dr. Tamer. A few ‘other’ high ranking military personnel listened.
Mary wore a translucent black robe, open, and a skimpy black bikini that cupped her tiny tits. Why was she wearing a bathing suit in this meeting? Because this is a fucking book and it might as well be fucking fun.
Desire built in Bigfoot’s loins.
“So what do you think?”
Bigfoot looked up. Shit, they are looking at me. “Um, what’s that?”
Dr. Tamer asked again. “What do you think?”
Bigfoot thought for a moment and then realized they meant the video, not Mary’s sweet ass.
“I’m not sure.” Bigfoot didn’t give a rat’s ass about this Sasquatch, Mars, or any of this horse shit. He was here for Mary.
She had been sent, by NASA, to Bigfoot’s home in Los Angeles. After only one look, Bigfoot would have followed her on whatever fucking mission she asked.
“It kind of looks like me. Shit, how weird that it resembles so closely the first time I was captured on film.” Bigfoot crossed his arms over his barrel chest.
“This is lunacy. Mars is barren. How can a fucking hairy animal live there?” Sergeant Silver wrinkled his old face. He was worried about the safety of America and shit. Hairy aliens of Mars were definitely a threat to American and Christian culture.
“This is a monumental find,” Mary said, “We’ve discovered the first alien, and it has ties to Bigfoot. This could rewrite the history of the earth.” She turned to Bigfoot.
Bigfoot’s eyes were on her candy cleavage. So gorgeous.
“Aren’t you excited? You might learn about your past and where you came from.”
He looked up. “Yeah, sure, find out about my past, cool. Maybe first you and I can go back to my living quarters and-”
She cut him off, “I mean it must be so amazing to suddenly have the possibility of knowing where you came from.” She smiled.
Damn, her smile was fucking phenomenal. Like all the angels, of a time forgotten, spent their entire existence working to make a beautiful smile just for Gal’s face.
“Yeah, exciting,” Bigfoot said.
“So what’s the plan,” the Secretary of State asked, “We can’t go public. None of this leaves this room.”
Dr. Tamer, NASA’s lead Mars Operation Adviser, said, “Follow me. I’m about to blow your fucking socks off.”
Chapter 2
“And why wasn’t the government aware of this?” Sergeant Silver wasn’t pleased.
Dr. Tamer smiled, “NASA has to keep somethings secret. I’m sure you can understand.”
Mary placed her hands on the railing. “It’s amazing!”
Bigfoot couldn’t take his eyes off her ass. He wanted that ass in bed with a fucking dessert cart. He imagined days of rolling in the sheets. Frantic runs to the refrigerator at the height of exhaustion from dehydration.
The military and NASA people talked and Bigfoot hardly listened. He just watched Mary.
Bigfoot focused on the sit of her tits. He enjoyed the animal desires that her springy breasts induced. Her lips, smile, and eyes, were unbelievable music of erotic perfumes that stole his senses.
“So what do you say?”
Bigfoot looked at Mary’s eyes.
Shit missed stuff again.
The other personnel waited for him to answer.
“Do what again?”
Mary smiled and Bigfoot tried to listen.
“Will you go with us to Mars to find out what this thing is?”
“You’re going?” Bigfoot asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you think maybe we could go back to my room-”
“-Oh, don’t worry about room. There is plenty in the ship for all of us,” she said.
Bigfoot looked past them to the enormous ship hidden in this underground bunker.
Man, I want to fuck her. “Guess I’m going to Mars,” Bigfoot said and smiled. Passion flowed through his heart at the idea of first penetration. Bigfoot would fuck her on any planet, shee-it! Mars included.
∞
Theme song during clips of a spaceship journeying across the black abyss:
Rocket rides,
Pretty much better than any ride!
When Gal Gadot is by your side,
Don’t be shy,
Look that bitch in the eye!
Rocket rides,
Journeying to Mars for the very first time!
When the police can’t handle the sit-iation,
Bigfoot is now the ultimate OPER-A-TION!
ROCKET RIDES!
The steam punk American spacecraft flew past huge asteroids, cosmic debris, and an army of dead robotic Ultimate Warrior soldiers.
“It’s so amazing,” Mary said.
Bigfoot and Mary stood by a small port hole looking back on the tiny blue planet called Earth.
“Yes, yes it is,” Bigfoot said. His eyes were on her.
Mary turned. Her dark eyes twinkled. “Stop it,” she said playfully. “With Earth so far away. There is a chance we will never make it home.”
Bigfoot placed a hand on her shoulder. He could tell by her body language that she needed some comfort. “Come back to my room and lets fuck.”
Mary looked back out the porthole. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Let’s just look at the Earth.
Damn. “sure, whatever you want.” Bigfoot wondered how many people were fucking on that little rock out in space right now. Wish I was one of them.
Scents from Mary’s hair drifted into Bigfoot’s animal nostrils. Strawberries. Yes, he was going to have this woman someday.
The ships intercom came to life. “Alert, alert, all hands to main deck. Hurry!”
Mary and Bigfoot ran to see what the problem was.
∞
Ship Captain Russel Crowe sat in the cockpit. His hands gripped the controls tightly.
Mary and Bigfoot entered.
“What’s happening?” she asked.
Alarms sounded and lights flashed.
“Fuck, we were hit by a small asteroid. Landing gear is fucked.” Russel Crowe looked back over his shoulder to take a quick look at Mary.
She wore a sexy outfit similar to what Gal wore in Wonder Woman, except it was white. Her trim legs were a beautiful candle lighting the way for young boys to become men. Mary’s tits were cupped exquisitely in the form fitted corset.
“So what does that mean?” Mary asked.
Russel Crowe sighed. “It means a rough landing.”
By the way Russel said it, Mary knew it meant they may not survive.
Bigfoot brushed her gorgeous black hair over her ear. His mind was focused on slipping one of his ape hands into the cup of her corset and playing with her ball busting cupcakes.
“Better strap in,” Russel said. “We will be making an emergency landing.”
Mary hopping into a seat and fastened the seatbelt harness.
Bigfoot clicked the fasteners.
It was 2am earth time. He wondered if Showgirls was playing on Showtime again tonight. Damn, they play that movie like six nights a week.
Bigfoot was a little sad he was missing it.
He loved the pool scene.
∞
“Holy fuck!”
Russel Crowe stumbled out into the Mars desert.
Bigfoot helped to steady Mary. She held a hand to her helmet.
“You okay?” Bigfoot asked.
“I think so.” She looked back. “Will we be able to make it home?”
“Not sure,” Russel said. He stood with his hands on his hips looking at the shit fuck of a situation they were in.
The ship was half buried in dirt. It looked like a crushed beer can. Not that it looked stylish to begin with, but yeah, the ship was fucked.
They had pretty much crashed. Luckily, the safety precautions had saved them.
Two NASA team members were with them.
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July 27, 2018
Inside the Book: Robotic Sharks by Bridget Chase, A Sci Fi Adventure Short
An off-shore mining compound is under siege by… take a guess. Yep, robotic sharks!
Miller is an old fart; the compound explodes and he has to fine a way out. Cal is a scientist on his way to the compound in a underwater monorail. Obviously, shit goes bad. There are two female characters, Liz and Unknown Bikini Girl 1. Heather, plays Unknown Bikini Girl 1, and hopes that the role in the movie ‘Robotic Sharks’ will re-ignite her career. Liz is hot as f%$# and basically like everyone else in the story, fights for her life.
This is experimental fiction, in regards to being a wild multi-layered narrative, that I’m pretty proud of.
Sample:
Chapter 1
The lights were out. Shimmering water paraded across the walls. Outside the living quarters, a neon ‘particle reactor’ burned red radiation through the window.
Miller sprinkled food over the top of the fish tank. His beautiful pets swam circles in an excited feeding frenzy.
Miller, played by an old Steven Seagal, put the cap back on the container. He walked to his chair.
A glass of Brandy waited for him on the side table.
Miller sat back in the leather arm chair, placed his headphones back on his head, and picked up his glass.
Cyberpunk music played. The fish tank teased hypnotic notes of fluid eroticism. The Brandy burned down his throat.
The scene called for Miller to look troubled, as if longing for something lost long ago. When shooting the movie scene Steven Seagal thought about his ponytail and the way it used to whip in the air while he snapped bad guys’ bones.
Miller’s eyes were distant. His aged face held stoic flavors of a recipe built from pain and loss.
The director yelled, “CUT!” Seagal walked back to his trailer. A single tear ran down his cheek. He looked off to the horizon. In the setting sun, he saw his ponytail dancing like a phantom in the tropical colors of the sunset.
∞
“You gonna’ fuck ‘er?”
“Fuck yeah I am. Shee-it! I took her to ‘Red Lobster and such’ last week. Real classy shit,” Phil said to his friend and coworker Goop.
Goop pushed a dolly. “That be mighty classy. Hope her pussy be thankin’ ya for such extrav a’ gence. She got a sista?”
Together they walked down the ramp that led to the cracked asphalt. It was the middle of the night. A worn trail in the over grown weeds laid ahead.
“Yeah, be thinkin’ she said some’fin about a sista’,” Phil said. He lifted his trucker cap and scratched his balding, greasy hair with infected ‘badly clipped’ fingernails. “But if she does. I be the one goin’ after her. I’ll tell ye what. Always been ‘this fellers’ dream to bag a pair of sistas.”
“Awe hell,” Goop said. He up righted the dolly which held two unmarked barrels. “This one here’s got a leak.”
Phil inspected the line of neon yellow liquid running down the side of the barrel. “Shee-it, just hurry an’ dump it will ya.”
Goop hitched his shoulders. He placed a foot to the dolly and tipped it back.
They walked together through the ‘worn down trail’ in the weed covered bayou. Arriving at the usual spot Goop stood the dolly upright and then tilted it forward. The two unmarked barrels fell.
SPLASH!
Phil moved to the edge of the water and with the toe of his boot gave them a gentle push.
The drums floated toward the mass of other decomposing barrels that filled the swamp right off the coast.
“Dang-it!” Goop said irritated. He pulled out a diseased handkerchief and wiped away the yellow sludge that had dripped on his forearm.
“I’s thinkin’,” Phil said,. “If it don’t work out with Sally. Maybe wez’ outta’ throw our money together and get our peckers wet at Jezebel’s Pearl Theater.”
Goop pushed the empty dolly in front of him. Together they went back toward the nondescript warehouse.
“Mmm, sounds mighty fine. Been a while fer this feller. Whenz’ pay day this month?”
They arrived at the backdoor of the building. Phil handed Goop a respirator mask.
“I think next Tuesday,” Phil said. He slipped the mask over his face and opened the door.
“Damn, what’s we gonna’ do with er’selves for a week?” Goop asked.
“I don’t know,” Phil said. He opened the door.
Toxic plumes of smoke swirled out in sweet cotton candy colors. The vapor rose and disappeared into the night sky.
They entered the building.
∞
Damn these sheets.
She kicked her feet and rolled to her side.
Half her face was pressed against the pillow. Long, dark strands of hair draped her face.
I’m never getting to sleep.
The neon numbers of the clock fought against the darkness.
They read, ‘4 am’.
Liz sighed. She threw the bed sheets aside and sat up. The cool air licked her naked body.
A young Angelina Jolie played the character of Liz. The casting directors had difficulty in locking down one of Jolie’s clones for the movie role. Many were already starring in other films and the ‘Jolie Farm’ where Angelina incubated her clones could only produce so many. The film ‘Robotic Shark’ got lucky. The young Jolie pulled hordes of men to the theater. Suicide rates rose after opening weekend. It was theorized that, in the ‘lonely and unfulfilling’ state of society, her beauty had left too many male audience members love sick.
Liz brushed languid locks of dark hair away from her face. The sound of the ocean outside played rhythmic melodies of isolation.
She got out of bed and wrapped a thin silky robe around her body. It drifted behind her as she walked like a ghost through dry ice. She stood before a pair of bay windows.
Moonlight slipped in and kissed the curves of her body.
The ocean outside undulated in angry contortions- ceaseless and never ending.
Red laser pinpoints danced in pairs under the ocean’s dark depths.
Her nerves sizzled at the murderous clouds building in the sky.
Chapter 2
There were no windows.
David Hasselhoff, who plays the character Cal, couldn’t even feel the movement of the racing subterranean monorail.
The military is unbelievable, Cal thought, when compared to the grid locked vehicles that congest the roadways on the surface in arthritic pain.
He was a little disgusted that this technology wasn’t for the public sector.
No matter, he had other issues needing his attention.
Cal’s ‘sunburnt skin’ glowed in the fluorescent lights of the minimalistic interior.
Two hundred miles crossed in a little over twenty minutes. He looked at his cup of coffee. Filled to the rim, the surface remained undisturbed.
“Mr. Dennison,” a man wearing trendy clothing spoke. He walked toward Cal.
“Yes?”
“We will be arriving in ten minutes. I am sorry to bother you but I was instructed to give you this.” The man with blonde hair, every strand in place, held out a manila envelope. ‘D H 1522B’ was handwritten in black on the cover.
“Thank you,” Cal said and accepted it.
The man gave a slight bow of his head. Turned and walked back towards the front.
Cal leaned into the isle and watched the man disappear behind a set of sliding doors.
I thought I was alone on this train. The steady silence directed his ears to the barely audible ambiance.
A light melody of violins twirled in rising octaves. They floated through the cabin like butterfly wings in spring. The scent of wild flower complimented the glossy white interior walls.
Cal looked down at the small bonsai tree on the coffee table in front of him- a touch of nature where it didn’t belong.
∞
She was known as Unknown Bikini Girl 1.
Heather had killer tits. Her ‘girls’ were to thank for getting the movie role. Though ‘Unknown Bikini Girl 1’ was not a prestigious character name, she hoped it would open more doors as an actress.
Heather’s only other role had been as Jessica Rabbit in ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’. Currently, she had trouble landing work. Her curves defined her, but she believed she had more to offer.
Her opening scene was complete trash and featured minimal acting. She still brought her best performance. The future was yet unwritten and Heather hoped ‘someone’ with the right connections would see her in this film.
Ryan was on top of her. Sweat dripped down the lovers’ skin.
Unknown Bikini Girl 1 gripped the covers with her fists. She moaned as the ‘off shore mechanic’ plowed her with the diligence of a blue collar worker.
A distant noise, followed by shaking, made both the lovers stop.
Unknown bikini Girl 1 was topless. BOOOOM! An explosion echoed through the off shore structure. Her tits leapt and several cameras filmed ‘close ups’ of the jostles that rippled through her breasts.
“What the hell?” Ryan pulled out. He twisted and looked off to the corner of the room listening to the growing rumble.
Unknown Bikini Girls 1’s knees where high and her tits lifted in unison with her expanding rib cage as she breathed. Even in the harsh fluorescent lights Heather’s red hair shone like glossy strawberry syrup at Willy Wonka’s Candy Factory.
SHIK-KA BOOOOM! Instantly, angry fire replaced the walls.
Ryan was thrown off the bed; SLAM! He hit the wall.
Unknown Bikini Girl 1 fell to the floor behind the over turned bed.
The whole building structure tipped. Ryan followed by smaller furniture pieces rolled across the slanting floor. Unknown Bikini Girl 1 watched with wide eyes.
∞
The explosion made Miller drop his drink. The golden liquid spilled onto the carpet.
In an instant, the whole building tipped sideways. The chair he sat in slid towards the wall.
Miller knew ‘too well’ the shit they were in. If the off shore mining compound fell into the sea hundreds would die.
He wasn’t going to be one of them.
Miller got to his feet and stumbled. POW! He fell against his kitchen cabinets. He pushed himself forward toward the door. All his ‘apartment shit’ smashed against the wall.
His living quarters were a hundred feet above the ocean. Miller reached for the door handle a second too late. His body went into free fall. All the furniture floated in the air.
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July 25, 2018
Inside the Book: Planet Zero by Bridget Chase- A Sci Fi Action Short Story
“The sky sparked- chewed by razor lightning. The citizens in the streets of Planet Zero looked to the sky and gasped.
The veil of reality was lifted and a nightmare slipped under the bed sheets of their consciousness.”
An enemy emerges out of unfolded quantum planes. A tech savvy programmer forges a new kind of weapon to fight back. Shana, an AI Nano bot, steps up to save Planet Zero from destruction. The alien visitor cares nothing for his conquests. ‘Chaos and annihilation’ are his job. But, his rewards are the driving force behind his actions. 4,700 words of non stop action, strange sci fi characters and delicious coiling story arcs.
Sample:
Chapter 1
The city was barely indistinguishable from the dark sky. Faint glowing phantom-strings flickered as folded planes of quantum dimensions separated.
The city’s aesthetics were the pinnacle of class and visual pleasure. The lights at night were neon-edged, long and delineating the perfectly-manufactured-angles.
Desperate black plastic, carbon, and synthetic surfaces reflected in prisms of deep mirages.
The sky sparked- chewed by razor lightning.
The citizens in the streets of Planet Zero looked to the sky and gasped.
The veil of reality was lifted; and a nightmare slipped under the bed sheets of their consciousness.
∞
He looked down on the city- a contained protected paradise. Zeit sat at his throne on the main commanding ship.
Necro Slaves, half dead, yet alive in almost no sense, sat at the controls.
“Begin the mutations,” Zeit said.
His slaves’ heads lulled, while his command seeped into their grilled cheese brains. Their bodies were part flesh and part robotics. Where the ship and controls began, and their bodies ended, were near impossible to distinguish. They were living ship parts. Cyborgs with angular carbon plates, tubes, gears, and silicon, paired with congealed pale flesh.
Zeit’s ship was massive. Capable of navigating quantum space. He laughed to himself. He could see the chaos in the streets as his ship ripped the ‘pink nipple’ from the citizens’ mouths. How Zeit loved the chaos. And chaos was his only job.
Citizens ran. Cars sped and crashed shattering into small glass-like fragments.
Buzzing filled the ears of the panicked people.
Zeit’s craft flew through the streets snatching up people with their coiling spaghetti tentacles.
∞
His mind was becoming grated cheese. Too much work, too little time.
Simon sat in front of twenty computer monitors. He moved data around; reorganized the grouping of familiar symmetries, and combined them for a new function.
His fingers fumbled anxiously like a boy unclasping his girlfriend’s bra for the first time- hurry, hurry!
Simon had seen the reports.
Planet Zero was under siege. The intruding ship had kidnapped more than twenty five percent of the population and had returned them to the streets as ‘rabid mutant bodybuilding Rhinoceroses’.
The Rhinos were living bulldozers destroying everything.
Simon looked to a city map and the growing percentage of destruction in red. He still had time.
Lying on a table next to him was a woman. A robotic woman to be exact.
Simon was lead tech advisor for the AI programming of sex bots.
The woman on his table was named, Shana. She was his own personal bot. Shana was designed to have just enough intelligence to satisfy the customer’s sexual needs.
As the monitors bathed Simon’s face in ghostly light, he worked to create an AI ‘unlike’ anything anyone had seen before.
∞
“NO! NO!” Stella cried.
Dark figures of dripping-diseased-nightmares, grabbed her.
With no warning, the Necro Slaves had smashed her door open. She was at home having dinner with her new boyfriend Tras.
Tras attacked. POW! He smashed the face of one. It fell weakly to the ground.
He hammered forward BAM! Front kicked the one holding Stella’s arm so hard that it flew against the wall.
SMASH! The wall cracked and the Necro Slave fell to the floor.
Tras stepped in front of Stella as more hissing black plated ghouls came in the apartment.
He put up his fists.
“KKSSSSSSZZZ!” They showed their claws. Behind them a huge bodybuilder Rhino pushed its way through.
“Fuck,” Tras said.
Stella clung to his back and whimpered.
Chapter 2
People screamed.
Rhinos flooded the street breaking everything. Like a living blast, the destruction radiated out, in a growing circumference, from the alien ship.
Citizens huddled together in their high-rise dwelling. Cameras all recorded the same sight.
The night sky had birthed an enormous ship and now, behind it came something larger.
The term ‘sky’ wasn’t even applicable anymore. The sky, reality, space, was now only this mechanical monstrosity creeping out of the abyss. The city was merely a small ant and the ship a huge shoe.
The people of Planet Zero squirmed as the tread of the sneaker came down on them.
∞
My fucking GOD she beautiful. Simon sat back and watched her awake. The machinery powered down and recoiled.
Shana sat up. She rubbed her neck. Rolling her head back, she opened her eyes. Slowly her head lulled to the side.
With a start, she jumped seeing Simon.
“Easy, you’re just waking up,” he said.
Shana, played by Yvonne Strahovski, looked at her hands.
She was naked except for a white sheet wrapped around her torso. Her blonde hair spilled over her gorgeous shoulders.
Simon had never designed a woman as beautiful as this.
Shana stood up. She let the sheet fall to the ground and stretched her arms overhead.
Ethereal light from the computer monitors danced over her contours. Her tits rose and Simon lost his breath.
Beyond provocative- Shana was a miracle of technology.
Endless commotion from the streets crept into the room.
She walked to the window and peeked through the blinds.
It’s hard to explain the ‘strange look’ that fire had when raging in a city of such architectural beauty. Like a smart phone on fire, there was a striking differentiation between nature and synthetic.
“Can I go?” she asked.
Simon nodded.
Planet Zero had no military. No police, and was a perfect organism of social equality. He knew now, that such a society was a perfect target. He hoped his programming was enough to save the city.
“Before you go,” Simon said. “Put this on.” He hurried to the side table and picked up a jumpsuit.
Shana came over. She starred into his eyes as if reading something there.
Simon swallowed hard as she slipped into the uniform.
Shana pulled the zipper up, which ran between her gorgeous tits and up, under her chin.
For Simon, she was a nightmare’s-breath of beauty.
CRASH! Glass rained down on the street.
Simon walked to the broken window and looked out.
Shana lept across the roof tops, toward the fires that burned in the distance.
He fought back tears. She might have only been a sex bot, but he had come to love her immensely. Be safe Shana.
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July 24, 2018
A Few of My Drawings
I’ve been making studies of characters from my books. Nothing super impressive, but just trying to get back in the habit of drawing.
Here’s the first batch…
More to come. I’m working on a Murder She Wrote one and other stuff.
Character Illustrations: First Batch
Also, I am hoping to create some comic books in the future.
So, I’m doing a little practicing.
I’ve been making studies of characters from my books. Nothing super impressive, but just trying to get back in the habit of drawing.
Here’s the first batch…
More to come. I’m working on a Murder She Wrote one and other stuff.
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July 23, 2018
Inside the Book: Las Vegas Shooter- Red, White & Beautiful, Kindle book by Bridget Chase- Himbi Fiction
Modern day Las Vegas, a rogue cell within the CIA is killing off agents and safe houses. Alex Jones accompanied by Stephen go to the CIA base located below the Mandalay Bay hotel casino to check that it has not been compromised. A horrible evil has been created by this secretive government organization and it just got released. Alex and Stephen might be the only two agents left who can stop it. What is to follow will make the news networks froth at the mouth and squeal like kids who just unwrapped the golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
Sample:
Chapter 1
(PUFF!)
Alex Jones exhaled cigar smoke.
Bath bubbles encased his body. The water was warm and his balls floated to the surface.
Who has been killing the CIA agents?
It plagued him. At times, he wished that he was just an ordinary dope. No, I am too great a man, with responsibility to the world.
He dried himself with the white fuzzy towel. Alex entered his bedroom. Before going to bed, he poured himself a scotch at the wet bar.
“You okay honey?”
Alex climbed into bed with Miley Cyrus.
He kicked back the drink, “AH!” and cringed against the burn which flowed down his esophagus. “Yeah, (sigh) something bad is about to happen. The rogue cell is growing.”
Miley tickled Alex’s balls with her Mickey Mouse fingers. “I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”
Alex slid under the sheets. “No, I’m not allowed to talk about it.”
Miley snuggled up next to his bear like body. She sniffed and rubbed her pink nose.
DING! Alex looked over.
His phone’s screen lit up.
(GRUNT) He rolled his large body over and grabbed the phone.
“Damn!”
“What?” Miley leaned up on an elbow. The bed sheet slipped off her naked tits.
“No sleep for me tonight. Looks like I have to work.”
His eyes scanned the code again. Hurricane hit the hen house. The chickens are dead.
Alex zipped up his slacks making sure to avoid catching his purple dong in the fly. He walked out of the dark bedroom, leaving Miley naked and alone in bed.
I’ll have to fuck her later.
∞
Firetrucks arrived to the rubble. It was only a small bakery that had burned to the ground.
Stephen stood across the street. The heat of the flames warmed his face. For him, this fire was more than losing a bakery.
Upon the arrival of the police and fire department, Stephen walked away from the scene. “Shit,” he looked back to see if anyone was following him.
Located below the bakery was a CIA safe house. Now, it’s destroyed.
Stephen took out his phone. He removed the battery and tossed both. The device tumbled against the cement walls of the sewer drain. Hungry AI robotic alligators fought over the silicon bits.
In the distance, the Las Vegas lights played against the coming night.
The sound of sirens always irritated Stephen. I hope the safe house below the strip is secure. There was only one way to find out.
He carried his duffel bags, full of guns, and headed to the hotel. Too bad I can’t go to that country music concert tonight, but duty called.
The streets were filled with cars. He walked alone in the dusk.
∞
“How long do they last?” Trump asked, he straightened his cabbage patch hair.
Eight men moved around within the white cell. Calling them men was not entirely fitting.
They look like black smoke and tar. Trump watched them bang around in their prison, like drunk frat boys at their end-of-the-year-party.
An attendant in a lab coat tapped on his clipboard and then said, “We’ve had them here for two weeks. There is no sign of degeneration, and by all measurement, don’t require food or water.”
Trump put his hand to the glass. “What on this big tittied earth are they made of?”
The worker turned and put his back against the wall. He pushed his glasses up the brim of his nose. “We have no idea, but if you want to examine some tits, we can go to the other bunker. We’ve been working on-”
Trump cleared his throat. “No,” well, tits are nice, but… “You said these were shadows?” he asked and adjusted his tie.
“Yes, well sort of,” the lab tech said, “Like I told you, we extracted them from the dead. These particular ones came from one man.”
Trump narrowed his eyes. “Who?”
The worker handed Trump the clipboard. He continued, “Once we made the first one, we were able to replicate the shadow-body several times. It seems we can make as many as we want from the original.”
“These came from him?” Trump asked referencing the file.
“Yes, and as you can see their facial features are… I guess, best described as unstable.”
Perfect for avoiding facial recognition. Trump read more. Seeing the data from a test performed using living creature, he demanded, “Show me this.” He pointed to the clipboard.
“Sure,” the worker said. He turned to the two men who sat behind a protective partition and said, “Send in another dog.”
Trump’s mouth was dry.
A small panel at floor level opened. A dog entered the prison cell.
The cries and yelps made the workers cringe.
Trump flinched when THWAK! Blood exploded across the glass.
“Thank you for showing me this,” Trump said and shook the workers hand. “And, I’m sorry, your name was?”
The worker shook hands. “Dr. Abby, sir.”
∞
After the dog was near atomized, the dark-shadow-men huddled together in the corner. To others, their vocals were strange hums which matched their twitchy bodies movements.
But to one another, their communication was clear.
They hugged their bodies with their arms.
“Pain,” one said.
“Agony,’ another cried out.
“Kill me,” one said.
A fourth one jittered. “Me, kill.”
The group moved closer together. Their twitches intensifying.
“Death.”
“Bring me.”
“Dark, where are you?”
“Pain, glory gone.”
The dog’s guts and blood dripped down the walls.
On the glass, up near the corner, a small device flashed with a blinking green light.
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